September 30, 2024 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's being hired at funerals as
a professional coffin cuddler. Oh, because the last thing you
want to see is your great aunts looking lonely. So
for fifty bucks and a package of jerky, he'll climb
in and cuddle your loved one as you take your
final picks. With Laser Stories, the segment where we read
(00:27):
weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser. There's other casket cases, just know.
This first laser story is out of Southwest Oregon. A
twenty four year old guy crashed his car the other night.
Police say he was driving home from a bar and
alcohol may have played a role, and so once he's
(00:49):
out of the hospital, he could be facing a DUI charge.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But on the bright side, it could be a bonding experience.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Why because his dad showed up to the scene of
the crash and he got a duiohol family. Fifty three
year old Jonathan Crable pulled up in his own vehicle
smelling like booze yeh. Police say he was uncooperative and
would not take a breathalyzer. They gave him a field
(01:17):
sobriety test and he failed.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I'm sure he's gonna nose because I was so upset
that my son was in an accident.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
You're not thinking about this situation. I love him.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Now he's facing charges for driving under the influence and refusing.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
To provide a breath sample.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
File this story under I learned it from watching you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Even just played baseball with me, David.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
His next laser story is out of Pennsylvania. A twenty
four year old man named Joshua Kaiser spent the past
four years of his life attempting to break a world's record.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, he first decided to.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Do it when he was browsing the Internet during the
pandemic and randomly came out across an article on the
record for the world's tallest hat.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Joshua. Doug Dimodome owns that record in the cartoon world.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
We all got interested in weird things during the pandemic,
and then we moved away from them.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, just left them. Not Joshua.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Apparently it had been set a couple of years before
at fifteen feet and nine inches.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Wo feels very heavy. So he set out on a
journey to beat that record.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
My god, he better have a strong neck.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, it wasn't easy.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
His first effort used stacked cardboard blocks and velcrow, and,
according to him, was an utter failure.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Oh it's hard to make a hat that will stay
up that tall.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
No wire, I would think chicken wire would outside.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You're thinking you're onto something, Brooks, because that was his
third try with chicken wire in a tall cone.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Shit, you set it right now. I mean I literally
came up with it in two seconds. That turned out
to be a total disaster as well.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Before that, his second attempt involved wooden dowels. But he
just kept on going and going and eventually got lucky
when he tried out a couple of ten foot long
aluminum gutters from home Depot with a modified metal Philadelphia
Eagles trash can. Right now, I'm showing my host his
(03:19):
finished products.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Wow, you can exist. This is a recent college grass.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I didn't even dating app.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You can see it up on our instance Stori Zad
brook and Jeffrey Joshua's final design was seventeen feet nine
inches tall and it weighed more than twenty six pounds.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Dah, that's gonna her. Where does he store it? Yea
in the backyard. It has to be like on a lawn.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
But he was able to wear the hat and walk
the minimum distance to get the record, which was about
thirty feet. So he is now the new world's record
holder tallest hat.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yo.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Definitely worse four years of his life for the girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So fast, bro, This next laser story is out of
eat that not this headquarters.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Are you an adventurous eater?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yes? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
How about this adventurous?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Because a takeout place called bird Box opened in Midtown
Manhattan a few months ago, and they're going viral for
their nineteen dollars fried chicken sandwich. Hasty not so fast. Okay,
this chicken sandwich is so gourmet. It comes with a
foot attached.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I've seen this. I want to try this so bad again.
Picture of it is up on our Insta stories.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
After Jeffrey and So, my husband lived in the Jamaican
countryside as like an exchange and Missus Edwards his host
Gramma would make chicken foot soup and it had chicken
feet in it and like you were the special one
if you got the foot and you got to suck.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Out all the part lits.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I found a chicken foot in a bowl of soup
when I was an all solved, and my dad took
music kid and I cried, seriously cried.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was like, oh my god, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It looks like it's reaching out of the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
When I say chicken foot, I mean it's the chicken's
entire leg poking out of the side of the bun.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
What's worse is they gave the sandwich a name.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's called clawed the claw.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You're not just eating a chicken, You're eating claw.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Wow. Isn't it good to know where our food came from?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I mean yeah, but now I feel a connection with it.
Don't worry.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's like when a fish looks at you with its
eyeball after it's been fried.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I love eating fish.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
The place is run by a Michelin star chef, and
everyone says the sandwich is great if you can stomach it.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
For people who.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Don't want that much anatomy in their lunch, they also
offer a normal chicken sandwich, pulled the leg, What about
the beak?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Can I get the beaky? What's going right? Straight to
the chicken farms? Take the feather salad. Yeah, it's next.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
As the Stories out of Therapy Corner has a meme
significantly improved your life, or maybe something that your grandma
once told you, or maybe something you.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Heard on your favorite radio show.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Probably not, but people on social media are sharing the
simple pieces of advice that have stuck with them through
the years and significantly improved their life. Oh okay, here's
the best ones. Number five, If you can't beat the fear,
do it scared.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
It's like, you can't be brave if you're not scared, right,
because what are you?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Bra I guess you're right. Number four. Talk yourself into
doing things by saying, just do it as a joke.
That's actually really that's kind of like, do it for the.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Plot, right, I'm just gonna do ketamine as a joke,
just a joke.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Everybody's laughing. Hey, let's go, let's not do that. Number three.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It's better to ask stupid than do stupid. Yes, yeah, okay,
asking Number two. You can't control the emotions you feel,
but you can control the actions you do regarding those emotions.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I don't know what, dude.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I feel like we're just going down the list of
all the things I nag my children about.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And finally, the top piece of simple advice that has
helped people out in their lives. You don't want to
enter your golden years thinking that you spent your life
worrying about things that might happen, but never.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Did you mean having anxiety? Yeah, like this guy.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
For the last decade he kept freaking out about possibly
getting caught in the.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Laces, but did it ever happens? Now he's asking for us.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh great, that sound means Laser Stories has come to
an end for the day.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
We'll do it again, saying time.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning
It's the radio segment that's being hired at funerals as
a professional coffin cuddler. Oh, because the last thing you
want to see is your great aunts looking lonely. So
for fifty bucks and a package of jerky, he'll climb
in and cuddle your loved one as you take your
final picks. With Laser Stories, the segment where we read
(00:27):
weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,
except we've got a laser. There's other casket cases, just know.
This first laser story is out of Southwest Oregon. A
twenty four year old guy crashed his car the other night.
Police say he was driving home from a bar and
alcohol may have played a role, and so once he's
(00:49):
out of the hospital, he could be facing a DUI charge.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But on the bright side, it could be a bonding experience.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Why because his dad showed up to the scene of
the crash and he got a duiohol family. Fifty three
year old Jonathan Crable pulled up in his own vehicle
smelling like booze yeh. Police say he was uncooperative and
would not take a breathalyzer. They gave him a field
(01:17):
sobriety test and he failed.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I'm sure he's gonna nose because I was so upset
that my son was in an accident.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
You're not thinking about this situation. I love him.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Now he's facing charges for driving under the influence and refusing.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
To provide a breath sample.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
File this story under I learned it from watching you.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Even just played baseball with me, David.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
His next laser story is out of Pennsylvania. A twenty
four year old man named Joshua Kaiser spent the past
four years of his life attempting to break a world's record.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, he first decided to.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Do it when he was browsing the Internet during the
pandemic and randomly came out across an article on the
record for the world's tallest hat.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Joshua. Doug Dimodome owns that record in the cartoon world.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
We all got interested in weird things during the pandemic,
and then we moved away from them.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, just left them. Not Joshua.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Apparently it had been set a couple of years before
at fifteen feet and nine inches.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Wo feels very heavy. So he set out on a
journey to beat that record.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
My god, he better have a strong neck.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, it wasn't easy.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
His first effort used stacked cardboard blocks and velcrow, and,
according to him, was an utter failure.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Oh it's hard to make a hat that will stay
up that tall.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
No wire, I would think chicken wire would outside.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
You're thinking you're onto something, Brooks, because that was his
third try with chicken wire in a tall cone.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Shit, you set it right now. I mean I literally
came up with it in two seconds. That turned out
to be a total disaster as well.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Before that, his second attempt involved wooden dowels. But he
just kept on going and going and eventually got lucky
when he tried out a couple of ten foot long
aluminum gutters from home Depot with a modified metal Philadelphia
Eagles trash can. Right now, I'm showing my host his
(03:19):
finished products.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Wow, you can exist. This is a recent college grass.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I didn't even dating app.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You can see it up on our instance Stori Zad
brook and Jeffrey Joshua's final design was seventeen feet nine
inches tall and it weighed more than twenty six pounds.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Dah, that's gonna her. Where does he store it? Yea
in the backyard. It has to be like on a lawn.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
But he was able to wear the hat and walk
the minimum distance to get the record, which was about
thirty feet. So he is now the new world's record
holder tallest hat.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yo.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Definitely worse four years of his life for the girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
So fast, bro, This next laser story is out of
eat that not this headquarters.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Are you an adventurous eater?
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yes? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
How about this adventurous?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Because a takeout place called bird Box opened in Midtown
Manhattan a few months ago, and they're going viral for
their nineteen dollars fried chicken sandwich. Hasty not so fast. Okay,
this chicken sandwich is so gourmet. It comes with a
foot attached.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I've seen this. I want to try this so bad again.
Picture of it is up on our Insta stories.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
After Jeffrey and So, my husband lived in the Jamaican
countryside as like an exchange and Missus Edwards his host
Gramma would make chicken foot soup and it had chicken
feet in it and like you were the special one
if you got the foot and you got to suck.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Out all the part lits.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
I found a chicken foot in a bowl of soup
when I was an all solved, and my dad took
music kid and I cried, seriously cried.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I was like, oh my god, wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
It looks like it's reaching out of the sandwich.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
When I say chicken foot, I mean it's the chicken's
entire leg poking out of the side of the bun.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
What's worse is they gave the sandwich a name.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
It's called clawed the claw.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You're not just eating a chicken, You're eating claw.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Wow. Isn't it good to know where our food came from?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I mean yeah, but now I feel a connection with it.
Don't worry.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's like when a fish looks at you with its
eyeball after it's been fried.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I love eating fish.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
The place is run by a Michelin star chef, and
everyone says the sandwich is great if you can stomach it.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
For people who.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Don't want that much anatomy in their lunch, they also
offer a normal chicken sandwich, pulled the leg, What about
the beak?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Can I get the beaky? What's going right? Straight to
the chicken farms? Take the feather salad. Yeah, it's next.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
As the Stories out of Therapy Corner has a meme
significantly improved your life, or maybe something that your grandma
once told you, or maybe something you.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Heard on your favorite radio show.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Probably not, but people on social media are sharing the
simple pieces of advice that have stuck with them through
the years and significantly improved their life. Oh okay, here's
the best ones. Number five, If you can't beat the fear,
do it scared.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
It's like, you can't be brave if you're not scared, right,
because what are you?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Bra I guess you're right. Number four. Talk yourself into
doing things by saying, just do it as a joke.
That's actually really that's kind of like, do it for the.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Plot, right, I'm just gonna do ketamine as a joke,
just a joke.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Everybody's laughing. Hey, let's go, let's not do that. Number three.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
It's better to ask stupid than do stupid. Yes, yeah, okay,
asking Number two. You can't control the emotions you feel,
but you can control the actions you do regarding those emotions.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I don't know what, dude.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
I feel like we're just going down the list of
all the things I nag my children about.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
And finally, the top piece of simple advice that has
helped people out in their lives. You don't want to
enter your golden years thinking that you spent your life
worrying about things that might happen, but never.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Did you mean having anxiety? Yeah, like this guy.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
For the last decade he kept freaking out about possibly
getting caught in the.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Laces, but did it ever happens? Now he's asking for us.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh great, that sound means Laser Stories has come to
an end for the day.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
We'll do it again, saying time.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.