December 4, 2025 • 7 mins
One of our listeners was in a sticky spot when he didn't have any last-minute gifts before Christmas... He came up with a desperate, creative solution but his family can NEVER know where their gifts came from!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Concession, I can't take back arms speak. Tis the season
of giving and generosity.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, yes, And in that spirit, we are generously giving
you a chance to tell us your deepest, darkest secrets
right here on the radio, for millions to hear and
possibly laugh at.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Sound like a good trade. How wholesome are we?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
It's either you do it with us, or you drink
too much at a family dinner and accidentally let slip.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Plus as an extra gift, we'll hide your identity and
keep you anonymous, like some sort of witness protection program.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So generous of us, Yeah, look at us, guys? Are
we the best at Christmas? Probably? As the Jew in
the room, I can say, yes we are.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And today we're gonna get a special holiday thing confession
from one of our listeners who's chosen to go by
the alias Mark Today. Mark, Welcome to the most generous
radio show on Earth. Hello, everyone, welcome to our Generosity Show.
You haven't said thank you to us yet, but that's okay.
We're generously gonna get yet. Okay, there we go, little late,
(01:20):
but we'll accept it. Voice changer is on. You are
the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your holiday confession.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Well, this happened a few years ago. I'm a bit
of a procrastinator, especially when it comes to getting gifts
for people.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Oh never know what to get, and I leave it
to the last minute. So, as usual, I was planning
on doing all my shopping for Christmas on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Dad's for sure, Yeah, matres for that.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
So I decided I'd bring my buddy along, Eddie, and.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
We're just gonna let his name out there.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I know exactly what Eddie talking about, but I'm not
gonna say it's fine.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
So you and Eddie are good Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, we both got to get a few gifts. So
we head over to the mall freaking packed. It was
a nightmare. Yeah, So we just decide maybe we should
be better to kill some times rather than go into
all that mess. So we duck it across the street
at a bar and we wait for things to kind
of die down a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Your procrastinating is still happening, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Okay, So we figure while we're there, might as well
have a few beers, and that kind of turned into four.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It's one of those classic we're only gonna have one
nights but.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You know there's a football game one.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I mean, it's the perfect Christmas Eve, just not normal.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yeah, we lost track of time before we know it,
and it's like past o'clock and the mall it's closed.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, we kind of knew that you weren't going to
get there.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Ye, malls should stay open later, though. It's a good make.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Those people stay scores making minimum.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, they should be twenty four to seven hour malls.
But that's fine, selfish teenagers.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's okay.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Well, we we now have no gifts and all the
local stores they're shut down for the night too.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
At this point we realize we're pretty.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Much just screwed unless you seal bar glasses and then
just regift them.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I got second trick lottery tickets, and you just hope you.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Makers every year.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Is your dad Eddie?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah that might be. Well, yeah, you're stuck. What are
you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Exactly? We're stuck. Both of us are too drunk now
to even drive. Yeah, we both just kind of start
walking in the direction of my house, which is half
a mile away from.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Where we're at.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Okay, we're saying, you know what, like, what the hell
are we gonna do? Or on the walk, and I
had a girlfriend who was gonna be pissed if I
didn't get her anything.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
At the time, we didn't have children, were relying on you.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Thank God. Yeah. Okay, but as we're walking past this
alley of this strip ball, I see this big dumpster
and it's just like filled with tons of random.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Stuffs usually are I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It didn't look like just garbage. There was like boxes
and stuff, so.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
So light bulb goes off in my head and we
just kind of start digging through. We can go dumpster diving,
and it's disgusting, but we actually found some salvageable items nice.
It was pretty cool. We brought them back home and
we just tried to clean them up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
What did you get from the dumpster?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I mean my girlfriend. I got her this big sand
see looking wooden cooking spoon. You know, she likes to cook,
so it worked a spoon, a big old She actually
liked it. She used it for the rest of our relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, cooking with a dumpster spoon. Okay.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I got my dad this ceramic pickle, little face on it,
a ceramic pickle. Yeah, it's just still sitting on his
desk right now to this day.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I got it as the pickle ye. You know that Christ.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Awesome gifts, like to the point where people are like
remembering and saving it.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Yeah, they worked out. It's not the money, it's the
thought kind of yes, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Thought I should dig through this dumpster.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
The best one I think of all is the one
I got my mom. It's like this little decorative pillow
that's embroidered on it. It says live laugh lobotomy. It
works for her sense.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Of humor and it describes her son in a nutshell.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I don't worry about the material in the dump stress,
you know that in the washing machine. It's fine.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
It's got like a nice natural fade of it was
probably white when I first came to existence.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's got character and charm. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
You just tell her it's vintage. Yeah, it's the word
that you attached to anything.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Your mom still has the live laugh lobotomy pillow.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
She still has it.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, Wow, they kept.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I will say that's the only live laugh sign that
I actually.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, that's so cringe and how magical The year that
you turned your family's house into the inside of a dumpster.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It's beautiful. I never told them to Oh you haven't
told them good ever?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Will?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I think it's time.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, this might be the year you surprised them with. Yeah,
the true story.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
You want to to tell him about that, Well, it's
really up to you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But hey man, thanks for sharing your Hauliday confession. That
was actually not as bad as I thought it was
going to be. And text in seven eight, five nine two.
If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
you our next mass speaker.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning
Concession, I can't take back arms speak. Tis the season
of giving and generosity.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, yes, And in that spirit, we are generously giving
you a chance to tell us your deepest, darkest secrets
right here on the radio, for millions to hear and
possibly laugh at.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Sound like a good trade. How wholesome are we?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
It's either you do it with us, or you drink
too much at a family dinner and accidentally let slip.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Plus as an extra gift, we'll hide your identity and
keep you anonymous, like some sort of witness protection program.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So generous of us, Yeah, look at us, guys? Are
we the best at Christmas? Probably? As the Jew in
the room, I can say, yes we are.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And today we're gonna get a special holiday thing confession
from one of our listeners who's chosen to go by
the alias Mark Today. Mark, Welcome to the most generous
radio show on Earth. Hello, everyone, welcome to our Generosity Show.
You haven't said thank you to us yet, but that's okay.
We're generously gonna get yet. Okay, there we go, little late,
(01:20):
but we'll accept it. Voice changer is on. You are
the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your holiday confession.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Well, this happened a few years ago. I'm a bit
of a procrastinator, especially when it comes to getting gifts
for people.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Oh never know what to get, and I leave it
to the last minute. So, as usual, I was planning
on doing all my shopping for Christmas on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Dad's for sure, Yeah, matres for that.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
So I decided I'd bring my buddy along, Eddie, and.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
We're just gonna let his name out there.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I know exactly what Eddie talking about, but I'm not
gonna say it's fine.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
So you and Eddie are good Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah, we both got to get a few gifts. So
we head over to the mall freaking packed. It was
a nightmare. Yeah, So we just decide maybe we should
be better to kill some times rather than go into
all that mess. So we duck it across the street
at a bar and we wait for things to kind
of die down a little bit.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Your procrastinating is still happening, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Okay, So we figure while we're there, might as well
have a few beers, and that kind of turned into four.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It's one of those classic we're only gonna have one
nights but.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You know there's a football game one.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I mean, it's the perfect Christmas Eve, just not normal.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yeah, we lost track of time before we know it,
and it's like past o'clock and the mall it's closed.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, we kind of knew that you weren't going to
get there.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Ye, malls should stay open later, though. It's a good make.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Those people stay scores making minimum.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, they should be twenty four to seven hour malls.
But that's fine, selfish teenagers.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's okay.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Well, we we now have no gifts and all the
local stores they're shut down for the night too.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
At this point we realize we're pretty.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Much just screwed unless you seal bar glasses and then
just regift them.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I got second trick lottery tickets, and you just hope you.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Makers every year.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Is your dad Eddie?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah that might be. Well, yeah, you're stuck. What are
you gonna do?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Exactly? We're stuck. Both of us are too drunk now
to even drive. Yeah, we both just kind of start
walking in the direction of my house, which is half
a mile away from.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Where we're at.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Okay, we're saying, you know what, like, what the hell
are we gonna do? Or on the walk, and I
had a girlfriend who was gonna be pissed if I
didn't get her anything.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
At the time, we didn't have children, were relying on you.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Thank God. Yeah. Okay, but as we're walking past this
alley of this strip ball, I see this big dumpster
and it's just like filled with tons of random.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Stuffs usually are I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
It didn't look like just garbage. There was like boxes
and stuff, so.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
So light bulb goes off in my head and we
just kind of start digging through. We can go dumpster diving,
and it's disgusting, but we actually found some salvageable items nice.
It was pretty cool. We brought them back home and
we just tried to clean them up a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
What did you get from the dumpster?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I mean my girlfriend. I got her this big sand
see looking wooden cooking spoon. You know, she likes to cook,
so it worked a spoon, a big old She actually
liked it. She used it for the rest of our relationship.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, cooking with a dumpster spoon. Okay.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I got my dad this ceramic pickle, little face on it,
a ceramic pickle. Yeah, it's just still sitting on his
desk right now to this day.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I got it as the pickle ye. You know that Christ.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Awesome gifts, like to the point where people are like
remembering and saving it.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Yeah, they worked out. It's not the money, it's the
thought kind of yes, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Thought I should dig through this dumpster.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
The best one I think of all is the one
I got my mom. It's like this little decorative pillow
that's embroidered on it. It says live laugh lobotomy. It
works for her sense.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Of humor and it describes her son in a nutshell.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I don't worry about the material in the dump stress,
you know that in the washing machine. It's fine.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
It's got like a nice natural fade of it was
probably white when I first came to existence.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
It's got character and charm. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
You just tell her it's vintage. Yeah, it's the word
that you attached to anything.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Your mom still has the live laugh lobotomy pillow.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
She still has it.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, Wow, they kept.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I will say that's the only live laugh sign that
I actually.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, that's so cringe and how magical The year that
you turned your family's house into the inside of a dumpster.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
It's beautiful. I never told them to Oh you haven't
told them good ever?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Will?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I think it's time.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, this might be the year you surprised them with. Yeah,
the true story.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
You want to to tell him about that, Well, it's
really up to you.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But hey man, thanks for sharing your Hauliday confession. That
was actually not as bad as I thought it was
going to be. And text in seven eight, five nine two.
If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
you our next mass speaker.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
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