May 13, 2025 • 6 mins
One of our listeners admits twice a month he DISAPPEARS and tells his friends he's "busy"... But we're going to hear what he's really hiding in a brand new Masked Speaker!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You don't know me your confession, I can't take back
earl arms.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Mouse speak text to seven eighty five nine two says
I'm on level nine, four hundred and thirty six of
Candy Crush Saga, and it definitely feels more like a
confession than a proud a chief.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
How much money you see that is? So that's a
lot of years.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Don't feel bad though, Brooke crushes Candy's irl at her
desk every single day.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I can't double thousand a week.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, we're the perfect people to confess your secrets too,
because we've all done embarrassing stuff just as bad, if
not ten times worse.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
So let's shame spiral together.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
You're on the mass speaker, and right now we've got
a guy on the phone who wants to come clean
using the fake name Seth.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
So Seth, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hey, I'm a gone guy.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
How far down the spiral are you today?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
When we're joining you on the Journey Voice changers on?
You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear
your confession, all right?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
All right, So a few months ago, I got broke
into being part of a bachelor charity option bachelor.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Oh what are you?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, I have to people bid on you for a date.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. My friend's girlfriend was organizing it,
and she said they needed young, eligible guys with decent hair.
So I was like, all right, you know, I got
a good set of hair. I'm single. So they convinced
me to do it, all right, all right, And I
didn't think anyone would actually bed on me because they
had some other really good looking guys. And then there
was a gym trainer. One guy was playing guitar, you
(01:39):
know already, yeah, your experience.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But the people who bid on me were not, like
they didn't actually want a date.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
For the charity bid.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
On you was the charity that's my service to society.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Right there. She feels good about herself now, but.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's nerve wracking because it's like, oh my god, I
want to high bid, like my ego was on the line.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yeah, did you feel that way?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
So I walk on stage, you know, this normal dude,
regular clothes and all that kind of stuff, and uh,
this older woman in the front row raised her paddle immediately,
no hesitation. Yeah yeah, yeah she was older. And the
final bid was seventy five blocks and she won seventy.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Five Okay, not too bad for her granddaughter, right or
is it her right?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I'm like, okay, great, someone's mom just bought me. But
you know, at least I was able to help out.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
No big deal, okay, so smart. So I didn't think
of that she could be buying it for somebody else
or which would be really cute.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I was thinking, I mean to get roped into doing
free yard work. O.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Man, let's get him to do that.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
My grandma always has a list of stuff for the
young neighbors to do charity.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Speaking of chairs I have when I need you to fix,
seventy five bucks would be a discount for that services.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So did you Oh my god, did you meet her? What?
What did? What? Was she like?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So like offstage and I meet her. I found out
her name is Helen, she's seventy six years old, and
she's really excited to take me out.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I actually wants to spend time with you.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah you know, so I was like, okay, we exchanged information.
A few days later, we go on our dates. She
brings me out to this jazz brunch spot.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It was really this is starting to sound a little
strange to me right.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I was like, I don't know where this is going.
She orders herself a victory of oysters and just starts
talking about a third husband, talking about her third husband Ted.
The disappointment.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Sounds like this woman's got confidence thinking she's actually going
to make it happen.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
WHOA right, and we just start talking. You know, it's weird.
I'm super into it, Like, not romantically by any means,
but this woman is fascinating.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Okay, you actually enjoyed it, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I found out so many cool things, like she's been
band from two casinos in Vegas because she knows how
to count cards, right, And I listen to this, she
said she's back in the nineties, she had an affair
with the senator and got paid to keep it quiet.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh there's a side hustle.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I never thought about, what's the confession here?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
So I still hang out with her occasionally to this day.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
That probably was not the intention.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Going in No, but like twice a month, I'll do
what I call a Helen Day, and sometimes they meet
up for breakfast and we'll go for a walk. I've
been to a couple of her Bingo knights at a
retirement home and she tells everyone that I'm her boy toy.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
So you should not keep this a secret. You should
be proud to Helen's boy toy, right.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You know. It's just I never thought I'd be in
my twenties hanging out with an old lady. But I
actually like spending time that you do.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
This is great. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Jeff's like, oh my god, why would you ever want
to hang out with someone in their seventies. You don't
know a lot of twenty year old my grandma, thirty
year old neighbor goes over from Margarita I all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Oh yeah, I fully supported people in their seventies and eighties,
Like they say the things that we're all thinking, and
they can get away with saying all the crazy stuff
that we're not allowed to.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Old people are cool.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You just have to find like the one that you
can complain with.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Yeah, and they have the best medications.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh my god, if you can get them to share
high cholesterol.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I've been offered her too.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You better watch out, Seth, because soon, if you're not careful,
you're going to end up being ex husband number four
for her.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't know all that you get put in the will.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It may not be a bad move.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, that's a valid point.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Actually, well, hey tell Helen, we say what's up all right? Well,
oh my god, what a wholesome story. Yeah, hellday is
so fun. Text in night five nine two.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
we can hydrar identity mask your voice and make you
our next mass speaker.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Your phone TAP's coming up right after this.
You don't know me your confession, I can't take back
earl arms.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Mouse speak text to seven eighty five nine two says
I'm on level nine, four hundred and thirty six of
Candy Crush Saga, and it definitely feels more like a
confession than a proud a chief.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
How much money you see that is? So that's a
lot of years.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Don't feel bad though, Brooke crushes Candy's irl at her
desk every single day.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I can't double thousand a week.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, we're the perfect people to confess your secrets too,
because we've all done embarrassing stuff just as bad, if
not ten times worse.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
So let's shame spiral together.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
You're on the mass speaker, and right now we've got
a guy on the phone who wants to come clean
using the fake name Seth.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
So Seth, welcome to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hey, I'm a gone guy.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
How far down the spiral are you today?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
When we're joining you on the Journey Voice changers on?
You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear
your confession, all right?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
All right, So a few months ago, I got broke
into being part of a bachelor charity option bachelor.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Oh what are you?
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, I have to people bid on you for a date.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. My friend's girlfriend was organizing it,
and she said they needed young, eligible guys with decent hair.
So I was like, all right, you know, I got
a good set of hair. I'm single. So they convinced
me to do it, all right, all right, And I
didn't think anyone would actually bed on me because they
had some other really good looking guys. And then there
was a gym trainer. One guy was playing guitar, you
(01:39):
know already, yeah, your experience.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But the people who bid on me were not, like
they didn't actually want a date.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
For the charity bid.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
On you was the charity that's my service to society.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Right there. She feels good about herself now, but.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's nerve wracking because it's like, oh my god, I
want to high bid, like my ego was on the line.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yeah, did you feel that way?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
So I walk on stage, you know, this normal dude,
regular clothes and all that kind of stuff, and uh,
this older woman in the front row raised her paddle immediately,
no hesitation. Yeah yeah, yeah she was older. And the
final bid was seventy five blocks and she won seventy.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Five Okay, not too bad for her granddaughter, right or
is it her right?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I'm like, okay, great, someone's mom just bought me. But
you know, at least I was able to help out.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
No big deal, okay, so smart. So I didn't think
of that she could be buying it for somebody else
or which would be really cute.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I was thinking, I mean to get roped into doing
free yard work. O.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Man, let's get him to do that.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
My grandma always has a list of stuff for the
young neighbors to do charity.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Speaking of chairs I have when I need you to fix,
seventy five bucks would be a discount for that services.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
So did you Oh my god, did you meet her? What?
What did? What? Was she like?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
So like offstage and I meet her. I found out
her name is Helen, she's seventy six years old, and
she's really excited to take me out.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
I actually wants to spend time with you.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah you know, so I was like, okay, we exchanged information.
A few days later, we go on our dates. She
brings me out to this jazz brunch spot.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It was really this is starting to sound a little
strange to me right.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
I was like, I don't know where this is going.
She orders herself a victory of oysters and just starts
talking about a third husband, talking about her third husband Ted.
The disappointment.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Sounds like this woman's got confidence thinking she's actually going
to make it happen.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
WHOA right, and we just start talking. You know, it's weird.
I'm super into it, Like, not romantically by any means,
but this woman is fascinating.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Okay, you actually enjoyed it, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I found out so many cool things, like she's been
band from two casinos in Vegas because she knows how
to count cards, right, And I listen to this, she
said she's back in the nineties, she had an affair
with the senator and got paid to keep it quiet.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh there's a side hustle.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I never thought about, what's the confession here?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
So I still hang out with her occasionally to this day.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
That probably was not the intention.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Going in No, but like twice a month, I'll do
what I call a Helen Day, and sometimes they meet
up for breakfast and we'll go for a walk. I've
been to a couple of her Bingo knights at a
retirement home and she tells everyone that I'm her boy toy.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
So you should not keep this a secret. You should
be proud to Helen's boy toy, right.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You know. It's just I never thought I'd be in
my twenties hanging out with an old lady. But I
actually like spending time that you do.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
This is great. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Jeff's like, oh my god, why would you ever want
to hang out with someone in their seventies. You don't
know a lot of twenty year old my grandma, thirty
year old neighbor goes over from Margarita I all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Oh yeah, I fully supported people in their seventies and eighties,
Like they say the things that we're all thinking, and
they can get away with saying all the crazy stuff
that we're not allowed to.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Old people are cool.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You just have to find like the one that you
can complain with.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Yeah, and they have the best medications.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh my god, if you can get them to share
high cholesterol.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I've been offered her too.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
You better watch out, Seth, because soon, if you're not careful,
you're going to end up being ex husband number four
for her.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I don't know all that you get put in the will.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It may not be a bad move.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, that's a valid point.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Actually, well, hey tell Helen, we say what's up all right? Well,
oh my god, what a wholesome story. Yeah, hellday is
so fun. Text in night five nine two.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
we can hydrar identity mask your voice and make you
our next mass speaker.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Your phone TAP's coming up right after this.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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