Missed Connections (5/12/25)

We scoured the back pages of Craigslist to find the best (or is it worst?) entries from their Missed Connections section! Whether you're a hopeless romantic or just plain hopeless, this might be the place for you!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey City misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two
places to find true love in this world. One is
in the Carnival Funhouse mirror room when you lock eyes
with someone eight feet tall and shaped like a melted
bowling point? Are you looking at yourself in the mirror?
Check out the curves on that girl. The other is

(00:25):
on the pages of craigslist dot org. We scoured that
website every week to find the best misconnections that they
have to offer, like this first one, titled falling for
You One Floor at a Time. Oh Man for woman
thirty nine office building. Oh boy, he says. We met
in the elevator a few hours ago. It was just

(00:46):
you and me the whole way. What a fantasy that was.
I was the awkward guy standing to your right. Obviously
you're the only person. I wanted to talk to you,
but didn't know what to say, so I just said hi. Oh.

(01:07):
You smiled politely, but didn't make eye contact. Instead, you
stared at your shoes, So I pointed down at them
and asked, what's that down there? That's the weirdest way
to ask someone anything, sir. Then I lifted my arm
up and flicked your nose. Whoa, don't touch her. I

(01:32):
don't know what kind of reaction i'd have if a
dude did that to me, but I feel like it
would be some sort of punching. Yeah, definitely a punch
and getting out of the next floor. Yeah. I thought
one hundred percent that would have made you laugh, but
you just looked at me and shock. Wow. But hey,
at least you looked at me as the elevator doors opened.
I felt bad and tried to give you the tuna

(01:52):
fish sandwich that was in my front pocket. Oh god,
I don't know pocket. I don't know if you even
saw it. You were moving so quickly. It's like a
tunamel at that point. If you see this, I'd like
to get to know you better, but we should probably
hang out before Friday. That's the day my dad predicted
something bad would happen on Earth. I'm sure coworkers and

(02:16):
was like you, guys, I met the cutest guy with
a that's from Andy Yay. Let's go to your next
misconnection titled Winter Winter. Why not have Me for Dinner?
Woman thirty six for Man's seventies Casino. She says, you

(02:36):
older gentleman balding with wisps of gray hair riding a
sleek black mobility scooter. He's got that sport mode. Well,
he's got the black one for me. Short blonde, red lipstick,
olive colored strapless dress, parentheses, not a prostitute. I'm glad

(02:58):
she clarified, because my mind went right to that. I
think there's been a couple of mixups in the past,
is why she put that in there. Jeff, she keeps going.
I was at the casino the other night in my
favorite church outfit, playing the slots. Oh that's your church outfit.
When I heard you coughing one machine over, you were
holding an oxygen tank and smiled at me. Hey, classic

(03:19):
slot player, I thought to myself, I don't know, you're
not my usual type, but maybe too upright is what
it sounds like. Then got real when you hit the jackpot. Oh,
and I got caught up in the moment and jumped
right in your lap. Oh wait, I don't know, but

(03:40):
I'm worried about his pelvis. Yeah. We then had the
best time as you did donuts around the casino floor
with me laying over the handlebars. Life doesn't end when
after that I offered to cash out the ticket for you,
so you didn't have to get up. I bet you did.
You declined, but being the generous lady that I am,

(04:02):
I decided to accompany you over to the register anyways.
I'll be honest, you shocked me a little when you
asked the cashier for security to escort you to your car. Lady,
So we both waited until a large gentleman with me
with four arm tattoos showed up. She's like, yeah, people
were getting on this guy's nerves. She's like, are you

(04:23):
going to carry me too? Then you blew me a
kiss and rolled out of my life. I never got
to tell you I like older men. You're definitely old.
If you see this, maybe you want to take me
on a trip to the Virgin Islands or possibly Italy.

(04:43):
You have the cash to do that twenty times over. Now,
let's live a little, especially before you die. Why do
I feel like she's going to take his oxygen? Yeah?
To take that. That's from a rosie. She's got a real,
real way with words, Yeah she does. Let's go to
your next misconnection titled Sunscreens Smiles then Gone for miles

(05:07):
Man for Woman forty five beach. He says, I was
the good looking guy with the salt and pepper beard
you spoke with at the beach the other day. I
cruised into your area on my boogie board with my
pink and blue board shorts, looking like well, an old
guy in board shorts at least aware you were the

(05:29):
super cute single mom with three kids. I think you
said your name was Darlene or Arlene or Eileen. Ok.
I couldn't hear that well, because I've had swimmers here
for about six months. I'm in the water a lot. Anyway,
we had a little chit chat, then a good laugh
when one of your kids asked me if I was

(05:49):
one of those beach bums. Just because I sleep under
the dock on weekends doesn't mean I'm homeless. I think
it does, though. Actually I am sometimes, but I consider
myself more of a flip flop philosopher. It was fun
playing frisbee with your kids. Probably shouldn't have tried to

(06:13):
catch one in my mouth though. The frisbee, yeah, it
was a little bit of a showboat move, trying to
get your attention by sea dog in it. She was
just happy that the kids were distracted. Dude to you anyway,
I finally got the courage to ask for your number.
You told me to hold on because you needed to
take your kids to the public bathroom to clean up,

(06:35):
but sadly you never came back. You're probably shy like me.
If you see this, you see this reply back and
we can either meet at a Starbucks with free Wi
Fi or down by the dock, but only on weekends
during the week, I have an obligation to the state. Ah,

(06:57):
you can do this. That's from Mick. Those were your
Craigslist misconnections for the week, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,