Missed Connections (5/5/25)

We scoured the back pages of Craigslist to find the best (or is it worst?) entries from their Missed Connections section! Whether you're a hopeless romantic or just plain hopeless, this might be the place for you!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
A kit.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two places to
find true love in this world. One is inside of
a CVS pharmacy when you lock eyes while buying extra
strength cold sore cream. True love can wait, oh usually
seven to ten business days.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
See both of the issues into a warm sword.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
The other is on the pages of craigslist dot org.
We scour that website every week to find the best
misconnections they have to offer, like this first one titled
from Buffet to Bay.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
That's man for woman forties east side best Western, he says.
I was at the complimentary Continental Breakfast the other morning
around eight am.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, it doesn't it feel like a score when a hotel.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Just perusing the pastries, yogurt and cereals. When I saw
you gingerly sliding in through the side door holding two
medium sized tupperware containers, you were acting like a sexy
buffet ninja, and that was intriguing.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
So you're taking it home much?

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well, I always put it in my purse for later,
but that's when I'm a guest, so I feel like
it's Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I followed as you made your way to the juice bar,
where I watched you pour at least a half gallon.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Of OJ into a large ziplock bag.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Wow, I don't know. That's a very trusting person with
that ziplog.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah, your brazenness was enamoring so much, so I knew
I had to say something, So I tapped you on
the shoulder and offered you a waffle and a blackened
strip of bacon in exchange for your time to have
breakfast with me.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
She doesn't have time to stay there, She's got to
get in and get out quick.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
You agreed to it as long as I promised that
you could show my room card to security.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
On that's super smart deal.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
The next few minutes we laughed over the free buffet
stories you had across this great country.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Of all man. I bet she's got some good reviews.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
The one about the Lacina and Pensacola still makes me blush.
I can't believe you had to run out so fast
your bathrobe flew off. Anyway, I enjoyed our time and
sharing food with you, even if you weren't legally allowed
to eat at that establishment for the next decade. But
if you see this, reach out and let's brunch again.

(02:35):
That signed Steve he says, ps, my room was rifled
through shortly after the buffet.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
I'm assuming it wasn't you. What a incidence.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Your next Craigslist misconnection is titled just leave your child
with Me Woman for Man twenty five daycare center.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Oh wait, she says you.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Mid twenty short brown hair, single dad with cute rattail
poking out the back of your official US conductor's train hat.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
A lot, she says me.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Daycare worker, purple flower dress with tattooed eyebrows and piercings.
You couldn't see, but could sense were there. Like you said,
you were interested in finding an open spot for your
little man, Damien, so I gave you the grand tour.
We flirted in the booknook as I pulled out a

(03:34):
special pop up story from a shelf the kids can't reach.
Oh you seemed surprised, but also stirred up. Really, I
could smell the ceremonies spelled with an F and a
Y at the end of that.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
At one point I admitted.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
To you that I secretly hate children, but I'd give
Damien special treatment, a daily feast of apple sauce, fruit snacks,
and canned peas, And she even.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Had the cold medicine into his like he does the sleepy.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
It's been two weeks now and I'm a little insulted
you haven't enrolled him yet.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
But if money's the issue, I'd.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Be more than willing to give you the dirty daddy discount.
Oh you just have to give me something in return.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Wait a minute, we could have been getting a deal
on daycare. My husband would have just aded like.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
A dirty daddy winky face that signed Sangria. Would you
ever let somebody named Sangria watch your kid? You know,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Alcohol names in general are just kind of a red
flag for me.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Let's go to your final misconnection titled stoked on Stokes
for you, stokes Man for woman thirty seven Walgreens Pharmacy.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Huh, he says you were the freckled.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Thirties question mark babe who filled my prescription yesterday asking.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Her age the actual pharmacist you're hitting on.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
I almost missed you.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Then I did a quick double take for a second
dose of that face.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Now that's a prescription.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
I want to take double dose of face please smiley
face blush emoji.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
I mean, this is why some of my pharmacists people
are still wearing face masks.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
I I was the cute blonde guy wearing the bike
helmet in under armoured tank. First of all, thanks for
not judging me when I picked up that special cream.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
It's not what you think.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
It usually always is when you say that.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
I promise I'm training for the Peloton Bikethon and needs
something for those secret.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
War wounds down below.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
I don't know about you, but during our interaction I
could feel the tension between us. The bike helmet has
a tendency to do that to the ladies.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Bike helmet a peloton.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Anyway, you seem like a woman who appreciates a man
like myself who's clearly dedicated to his hobbies. That's why
I'd like to offer you a one time deal. Tomorrow night.
I'm free between rides for a few hours, and if
you're lucky, I'll let you make me dinner at your place,

(06:22):
Lasagnia for the much needed carbo load. Please, if you
see this message, text me back what strength was the
hemorrhoids cream you gave me, so that I know that
it's you.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
That signed Peloton Mike a minimal strength.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
If you ever wonder why the birth rate is declining,
in this country. Craigslist misconnections gives you a hint. That
was your Craigslist misconnections for the day. We got your
phone tap coming up in just a few minutes.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,