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June 2, 2025 7 mins

We scoured the back pages of Craigslist to find the best (or is it worst?) entries from their Missed Connections section! Whether you're a hopeless romantic or just plain hopeless, this might be the place for you!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, CUTI misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two
places to find true love in this world. One is
at the grocery store in the adult diaper ale while
comparing absorbency ratings like a trained diaper somalier in a
four point five acidity. That's spicy enough for this undercarriage.

(00:23):
The other place is a naughty little website called craigslist
dot org, a place where real lovers go to post
their sexiest misconnections, like this one titled will you bree
Mine nay Man for woman? Forty one creamery Tour. That's
where I started with a cheese pud. He says hello

(00:45):
to the mystery lady I met on the cheese factory
tour last Saturday. I don't even know your name, but
from the moment you smiled at me with that milk mustache,
I knew we could be a Gouda match. Nice to me.
Here we go. I was the jolly fella wearing the

(01:05):
Holy Moley Swiss cheese t shirt. Hey, you probably thought
I bought that at the gift shop, but I didn't.
You have a collection, brought it from home, had it
for years. Yeah, that's a proud og cheese fan. Anyway,
you were by yourself, and I normally don't see a
lot of single people on these cheese tours, so maybe

(01:26):
we're cut from the same cloth. Parentheses cheese. Yeah, I
don't think he had to do the parentheses, my man,
he says. Okay, I'll stop with the puns. Lolol Willie.
We did have an awkward moment after our guide left
the room where you spied me putting extra samples into
my fanny pack. Hey, hey, I think that's a good movie.
Come on, don't worry. I'm not a klepto. I just

(01:48):
get freebies from all the food factories in the area
so I can save my grocery money for dates with you.
That's brilliant. The cheese factory. That's a cracker factory. Romantic,
he keeps going. In fact, I would have asked you
out that day, but we got separated by a herd
of sixth graders who thought they were in the milkshake room.

(02:12):
So this is my message to say, you were the
highlight of my day, even over the manchego we tried,
and that's saying something because that was great cheese. Let's
tour together next time. If you see this that's signed
hank parentheses stop swinging in twenty twenty three. Oh, it's

(02:34):
like a new challenge for him. He needs to disclose
monogamous Now, yes, he's a man. Let's go to your
next Craigslist misconnection titled you called it a Sporknado woman
for man thirty five End of the World meeting. Oh

(02:57):
my gosh, she says, you were the tall, rugged ish
man in the flannel and hiking boots rugged in don't
give me a complix, dude. But it's the end of
the end of the World meeting, so okay, you know
it makes a little more sense. Who sat next to
me during the seventy two hour emergency kit seminar at

(03:18):
ARII last semurday seventy seminar. No, the emergency is seventy
two hours. Like to make sure you are prepared for
seventy two hours. What to do within seventy seventy two
hours after the world ends is the most crucial Now
I get it, I need this seminar. Apparently, she says
you made a joke about how if things got really

(03:39):
bad you just survive off of protein bars and regret.
That's pretty funny, I laughed. So hard I choked on
my complimentary freeze dried banana chips. Oh no, you offered
me your collapsible water bottle and said it's been sterilized recently.
That was a promise. That was the moment I knew

(04:00):
I drink puddle water if you told me it was safe.
Before I could ask your name or offer you a
cliff Bar Mint Chocolate Elite, the seminar ended and you
got swept away into a crowd of khaki dads comparing canisters.
So now I'm here hoping the man who owns a
just in case headlamp and a surprisingly sensitive laugh will

(04:23):
see this and reach out to me.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
I don't know, but I.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Feel like they're destined to be together. At the end
of the They're going to repopulate the human race someday.
Her name is Claire PS. I'm CPR certified and emotionally available,
ish too emotionally available. Yeah, let's go to your final
misconnection titled high Score Girl, low Key crush Man for

(04:52):
woman twenty eight Game night, Oh says to get the title. Yeah,
it's gaming.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
Every Tuesday night, I go to the barcade to get
a non alcoholic beer, play some games. And beat my
high scores. Oh right, you could say it's my safe space.
And I don't know if you're new or not, but
the other night you showed up playing the same game
I like to play Charlotte's Web Pinball Edition Ding ding Ding.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Whenever you go to those barcades, you know exactly who's
been there every night for the last weeks.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yes, he says, you are the sharp and stout redhead
with a Yoshi backpack on hauling around a substantial princess.
Peach was the shorter king with the shaved head and
brown flannel. Watching you work your chimp flip while avoiding
that gobble hole, that.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Pretty impressive.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
Even more so were those darling digits hitting those flippers.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
And then you post a bunch of heart emojis.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Once I saw you were close to beating my high score,
I pointed out the hidden bonus behind the ramp to
the pig trough.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh is he trying to help you? Is he trying
to hurt you so he doesn't get beat?

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Sure enough, you hit it like three seconds later. To
be honest, I felt defeated, but slightly turned on.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Okay, he likes a powerful woman.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I offered to buy you a glass of non alcoholic
cier to celebrate overtaking me on the leader board.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
But you declined, and.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Then you left with a handful of quarters and sadly,
my heart. How about next time we play a little
nineteen ninety six Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball. Yeah on me, wow,
plus all the non alcoholic drinks you want also on me. Hey,

(06:59):
then I forget something, maybe you should get on me.
It was all set up.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
That was signed Lewisballs. Those are your Craigslist misconnections for
the week. We're going to do a phone tap right

Speaker 2 (07:15):
After this Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
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Hosts And Creators

Brooke Fox

Brooke Fox

Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow

Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow

Alexis Fuller

Alexis Fuller

Jose Bolanos

Jose Bolanos

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