Missed Connections (8/25/25)

We scoured the back pages of Craigslist to find the best (or is it worst?) entries from their Missed Connections section! Whether you're a hopeless romantic or just plain hopeless, this might be the place for you!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, kity misconnections. That was me staring there was only
two places to find true love in this world. One
is in the back of a crowded clown car when
someone's giant gloved hand honks more than just your nose.
The other is on the pages of craigslist dot org.
We scoured that website every week to find the best

(00:21):
misconnections that they have to offer, like this first one,
titled you have my Stamp of Approval Man for Woman
thirty three usps. He says, I was the guy in
line at the post office the other day, standing directly
in front of you. I hadn't been there in years,
so imagine my surprise that number one it was still open. Yeah,

(00:45):
and number two there were hotties in line like you.
We stood there for what seemed like forever.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Yeah, it usually happens at the post office.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yes, I know, but that's what you get when you
can only afford to pay one employee and fire the rest. Parentheses.
Thanks Obama's Obama's fault. It's amazing so long ago, how
much of the reach he has even ten years after
being out of office. Yeah, I was sure he's gonna
be reasoning. I lose my job. Yeah, most likely in
the future, he goes on. I tried to make conversation.

(01:17):
You said you were buying some stamps, and I immediately
told you a fun fact. Did you know the word
stamps said backwards is spats with the M taken out.
That's not a fun fats, not even fun. You didn't
say much.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
That's not even a word, dude, but.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
You're probably surprised at my quick wit. Ten minutes later,
the line still hadn't moved, which was awesome for me.
I was able to get into great detail about the
three katanas I was picking up, delivered all the way
from the Philippines. I'm sorry if you're into katanas, but
I love that you thought that was gonna Also, I

(01:53):
opened up my backpack and showed you all my mad
lip books.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Okay, she's googling other usps is right now.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Remember I told you it keeps the mind sharp as
you get older.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
What's an adjective?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Agaand in fact, I tried to get you to do
a few with me right there. Oh, but you said
you had a mind cramp. Sorry for that time of
the month.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I didn't know that it happened upstairs as well as downstairs.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
We get them so bad.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Anyway. Yeah, if you see this, email me back. I
want to show you a picture of my long sword.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Nobody wants to guys.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
That signed Reuben. This next misconnection is titled ship Happens
Call me I like it woman for man twenty four
North side of the Lake. This is for the filthy
rich guy I saw last weekend. I mean, I assume
you're rich because you were driving a big boat. Okay,
if that's not yours or you're borrowing it, disregard this message. Bye.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
But I know there's a lot of rich people that
peruse Craigslist the spot to find.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Out But if it really is your boat, then keep reading.
You would remember who I am. I hope I was
the brunette with the lime green paddle board that you
almost ran over. But seriously, you kind of almost did.
To your credit, you did stop when I used my
paddle to smack the side of your ship.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, well he deserved that.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
By the way, is a ship a boat or a
boat not a ship? I'm confused. They really should have
that in the dictionary. I think they do pretty sure
it is. Yeah. AnyWho, I thought you were pretty cute
for an older guy, do you like being bald? It
seems like you could afford hair if you really wanted it.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Wow, that was kind of a backhand accompliment.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
It does, but maybe you just choose to be bald instead,
just like how I choose not to pay for all
my parking tickets. Yay, we have so much in common.
Probably geminized too. So what does that's a hot mostly
single girl have to do to get a ribe. I'll
bring white claws, waterproof lip gloss, and enough daddy issues

(04:09):
to keep your therapist fully booked. Jkjkjkjkjk oh. I almost forgot.
If you're secretly married, I will find out. I watch
a lot of true crime. Please reply back to this
and tell me which doc you're picking me up from tomorrow.
Hope to see you soon. And she spelled c sea

(04:31):
like the ocean.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
She's not a lake. She knows right.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, they should really put the difference in the dictionary
between those that signed paddle Board Princess. Go to your
final misconnection titled here for a Fortune Cookie. But I
think I just found my future man for woman twenty
Chinese restaurant. We met at the Panda Express on Monday

(04:57):
afternoon near the Walmart. You were wearing a long sleeve
knit in jeans with a gold cross necklace. I was
the guy right behind you, wearing a bomber jacket carrying
a brown backpack with all my ugi O cards in it.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
That's a flex.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
While standing in line, I realized I was very attracted
to your look. You reminded me of the purple haired
roomy from K pop Demon Hunters who sleigh girl sleigh ha.
Hopefully that's not weird. I'm not weird. Okay, I'm a
little weird. Just embrace it, but in a good way.

(05:37):
After you paid, you took your food and sat down
at a table, so I followed and asked if you
wanted any saracha. You questioned if I worked there? I
said no, that is weird.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Off. Why would he just ask to sit down or
join her?

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, I said no, but still pulled out a small
bottle from my front pants pocket.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Why is it not in the backpack?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
You just looked at me. I put the bottle down
on your table and just said, enjoy my gift to you.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Eh hot sauce in his bag swag.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
I sat two tables away to not be creepy, and
at one point I realized I realized my mistake. I
didn't have any siracha, so I had to go to
your table and asked to borrow my own bottle back.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Oh yeah, that's awkward.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Sadly you said.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, wait wait, just got a free bottle.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Shortly after that you left with my bottle. Wow. If
you see this, I would like my siracha back and
to also take you on a date.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Oh man, you spent a lot of time eating food
in the last week.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Please Demon Slayer show me how It's done, Done done?
Get it? I think I think that's a Demon Slayer song.
How It's Done, Done Done. I think that's awesome. It's embarrassing.
I like that last line. I even showed my friend Oliver.
He thought it was funny too, posting that signed Bruce

(07:13):
brus He Will. Those were Craigslist misconnections for the week,
Brooke

Speaker 2 (07:18):
And Jeffrey in the morning