Phone Tap: Hear No English Speak No English

In your Phone Tap we’re taking the traditional customer service interaction and flipping it on its head and turning the ridiculous up to level 100!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
It was voted in a recent poll that the number
one most annoying thing right now in America. Besides, this
show is dealing with customer service calls. There is not
enough human workers, so old times are outrageous, and once
you do finally get someone on, they're not actually qualified
to help you. So we thought that's pretty bad, but

(00:40):
how do we make it even worse? So the first
thing we did was make Jose a customer service agent.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Kay, get help. That helps.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Second thing, even though he can speak English, he can't
hear English.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
A I think about how frustrating that call would be,
and now hear it in your phone tap right now.

Speaker 5 (01:07):
Hello, Hi, this is Michael Smith from Apple Support.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
I'm looking for Troy please. Oh hey man, Yeah, this
is he How you doing? Did you say this is Troy?

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:20):
This is Troy. Okay, I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Speaker 5 (01:26):
You send us an email about an issue you were
having with an iPad pro M one and I am.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Here to help you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
So, the pretty much a problem I'm having is the
touch idea button is just not.

Speaker 4 (01:39):
Working on it. I've tried resetting it.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
I've tried pretty much.

Speaker 5 (01:44):
I'm gonna stop you. Is there a way you could
say that in Spanish?

Speaker 3 (01:51):
Another language? Sign language? Even in Spanish? Do you know
any other languages? Italian? In even Monsk? Do you know Monsk?
What are you talking about?

Speaker 5 (02:04):
Brother?

Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm just calling about my iPad. I don't know any
other languages. Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't understand you. What
do you mean you don't understand me?

Speaker 4 (02:13):
Is it a phone issue?

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Or is you don't understand my iPad problem? Uh? Not
sure what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm not sure what I'm saying about what I.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Don't hear English. We're having a full conversation in English.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
You don't what do you mean you don't hear English?

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah? Again, didn't catch that. But here's my situation.

Speaker 5 (02:35):
Look, I do speak English, I just don't hear it well,
at least right now. In this whole situation, I'm dealing
with what I'm sorry, what what was that?

Speaker 3 (02:45):
That doesn't make sense?

Speaker 1 (02:46):
You're speaking English perfectly?

Speaker 5 (02:48):
Okay again, not really sure what you just said. But
back to me, wasn't always like this. I was at
a Renaissance fair last month, got hit in the head
with a rogue cabbage? Completely is that my ability to
hear English? Doctor's totally stumped, No idea.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
What's going on with me?

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Wait?

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Let me get this straight.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Your your entire job is predicated on you talking to
people on the phone, and you it doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
You're speaking to me in English.

Speaker 5 (03:14):
I'm assuming whatever you just said, you're giving me like
sympathy for what happened, right, I do appreciate that compassion.
I'm just a normal guy who got hit in the
head with the cabbage.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
How are you supposed to help me if you can't
understand me?

Speaker 3 (03:28):
I'm calling about a you called me. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 5 (03:32):
Just going off of the tone of your voice, it
sounds like your problem's fixed.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Wait no, no, no, no, no, no no no, My problem isn't fixed.
You haven't done anything to help.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Can again? Can't hear English? Only speak it?

Speaker 5 (03:45):
Not sure how many times I could say that what.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Why are we on the phone.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Can I talk to sobody else?

Speaker 1 (03:51):
No?

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Thank you, You're welcome. No, that's not what I said
before we get off the phone.

Speaker 5 (03:55):
How would you rate my customer service skills today? One
to five stars? Be it because I can't hear it?

Speaker 4 (04:01):
Zero stars?

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Nothing was sick?

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Wow? Was that five stars? You are generous? Oh my zero?
Talk about turning a bad situation into a positive. This
is amazingero.

Speaker 5 (04:16):
Hey, by the way, your warns on your iPad expires tomorrow,
so good luck with that.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Huh, glad you got this done in time. That was sucked.
Transfer manager right now, dude, I'm sorry. I can't transfer
you to a man. I can't. No, not what the
don't swear of me? Wait what you heard that?

Speaker 5 (04:34):
Oh my god, I'm sure it's amercaal A or a
prank phone call?

Speaker 3 (04:41):
You choose? Wait? What what do you have? Phone call?
What this is? Actually all? Say from the radio show
Brook and Jeffrey of The Morning Man. We're doing a
prank on you. This is a phone tat are you
sting me? Right now?

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Bro?

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Your girlfriend aight to set you up.

Speaker 5 (04:57):
She said, you're having a bunch of problems with your
iPad and You're like, I'm super.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Dreading that customer service phone call.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Later, I am having a bunch of problems with my IPID.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
It was very frustraty.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Aren't you glad I can hear you now? Yeah, it's
great to feel like I'm talking to you, Troy. Troy,
I said, aren't you glad that I can hear you now?

Speaker 5 (05:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I need no, I need you to speak another language.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
You know, Swahilan or oh monks, do you want to
go back to monks?

Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's a good language. I can speak fluent monks.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Okay, I get it.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Joke's over now.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah, joke's over now. If you didn't hear it

Speaker 1 (05:33):
The week up every morning was phone Tabs weekday mornings
on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning