Phone Tap: Non-Essential Organ Donor

We’re calling an organ donor to see if he has any organs he’s not using right now that he’d like to hand over!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
For a man, getting your first colonoscopy is either the
most terrifying or thrilling experience of your life, especially when
it's performed by a non medical professional. Oh my, but
that's my personal experience, and I digress, because today we
call one dude who's scheduled to have his area inspected

(00:20):
for the first time Lucky, and his wife told us
he's very nervous about it, but he's about to get
a whole lot more nervous when he hears what the
doctor has planned. It's in your phone tap right now. Hello, Hi,
this is Adrian calling from doctor's office. Is this Matthew?

(00:44):
It is him, Matthew. So I'm just confirming your appointment.
You're having a colon oscoy be done with us tomorrow
at three pm. That's correct, Yes, great, okay. Oh and
I see on your profile here that you're an organ donor.
Uh yeah, okay, Actually my wife encouraged me to change that. Excellent.
So yeah, I just want to tell you a few
things about the procedure. You know, the anesthesiologist will be

(01:07):
putting you under beforehand, right yep. And in the event
of any unforeseen complications, we'll make sure that your organs
go to someone who really needs them. Wait, do things
really go bad? Wait? No, I mean not usually. It's
just that with any procedure, we always tell the patients,
you know, just in case the worst happens, this is

(01:29):
what we're gonna do. So anyway, while you're under, are
there any non essential organs that you don't want to
part with? What? No? Any like any organs that you
wouldn't miss right now that we could just have? No,
I think i'd miss all of them. Are you sure? Yeah,

(01:49):
I'm just coming in for a routine colonoscopy. Well yeah,
but I'm just saying a lot of people think that
you need to wait until you're dead to donate your organs.
But that's not the case anymore. Wait. Through the advancements
that they've made in science, it's crazy. I could take
out two or three things right now and you wouldn't
miss them. Are you joking right now? No? It's incredible.
I mean technology has come so far. Well, I mean,

(02:13):
hooray for medical science. That's great. I no, I don't
take anything out of my body, all right. So if
this is about the money, don't worry. Okay, you'll be compensated.
This is not about the money, because I'm looking at
the priceless right here, and we could probably give you
thirty seven hundred for a spleen. I don't care. You

(02:33):
know what, Those are really hot right now? Everybody's buying
spleens up. I like my sleeen. Where it is that's
trying to harvest me? Oh okay, now I think I
see what it is in your head. You're thinking, Oh, like,
I'm going to be in a New Orleans bathtub unconscious,
then some weirdo is going to come and take out
my kidneys. Uh. Yeah, that's not how we do it.
We're very professional about it. Don't our bathtubs are bigger?

(02:57):
Are you kidding me? Don't you know what? I'm very
uncomfortable with this. You're basically trying to get me to
donate an organ to you, and you're not taking no
for an answer. No, I'm asking a registered organ donor
to do what he promised and donate one of his organs.
I thought it was being nice and trying to help society,
but now you're just being like, no, I have to
do this right now. I don't even mention the six

(03:19):
year old girl that could really use an appendix, right
now to save her life. That would be guilt tripping.
You actually don't have one, and I'm not doing it.
Actually don't have an appendix. I almost take it out
when I was a kid, so haha, too bad. See.
And if you were a registered organ donor, you would
have been paid for that. Whatever. You know what, none
of this is making any sense, and I'd like to
cancel my appointment please. I'm just saying, maybe we take
a small piece of your kidney and then we can

(03:41):
donate it to a local university. They could do some research.
You won't even notice. At least you're fifty to sixty
years old. See you're saying it would effect me later on.
I don't I don't like that. No, dude, A lot
of people don't even make it to sixty, so it
might not even be an issue. I plan on being
a lot older than sixty. I don't like this. I
am hanging up. Take my name off. Okay, well borrow,

(04:03):
I'm not coming in. Your wife. Vanessa said there's one
organ in particular that you never use, so can we
at least take that one? Wait? Wait, why do you
speak about wife? I spoke to her after she emailed
me to do this prank call on you. Cause see,
I'm not actually with the doctor's office. I actually work
on a radio show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Are you kidding me? You can relax. I talked to

(04:25):
her and she said she convinced you to become an
organ donor, and said you're feeling a little bit hesitant
about it. I just that was my greatest fear. Me. Dude,
you seem pretty bent out of shape about the donating
the organ stuff. You didn't really blink when I mentioned
your wife Vanessa in that particular organ Wait what wait?
Wait what did she say? She said, there's one Morgan

(04:47):
in particular that you never use. Uh no comment. Okay,
wake up every morning dad, weekday mornings on the twenties
Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning. Go