August 4, 2025 • 6 mins
We’re giving a Phone Tap Victim his work performance review and his grade is entirely dependent on how many supplements he buys from our sketchy side hustle!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We did his story the other day, But how it
seems like now everybody's got a side hustle going on.
Yeah yeah, I work as a pilot for United, but
my side hustle is writing fortune cookies only for the airport.
Panda expresses so specific. I'm kind of convenient four minutes early.
(00:20):
I mean, you never know who's got a side business
that they can't wait to tell you about. And we've
got the proof because today we call a guy whose
boss just got fired and I'm stepping in as the
new headman with a little bit of a side hustle too.
We're gonna hear in your phone tap right now. Hello, Hey, Nolan,
(00:44):
this is Garrett Thomas. I'm sorry, this is Garrett Thomas.
I'm a you know, I guess I'm your new boss.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Oh hey Garrett, nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Hey, yeah, nice to meet you too. So I'm curious
what happened to the other guy.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Man, I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I'm not really in the know here because I'm
just coming from another branch.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We got the email. He's not working here anymore, and
that's all we know.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
You know what they said the same thing about a
guy over at my branch not too long ago. It
turns out he was violating puppets at a toy store. Whoa, yeah,
real freak.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Oh wow, man, that's insane.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm being serious.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
He was making the noises of the puppet and everything.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It was not pretty, oh man, in a store.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Anyway, So I know this is an unusual situation. Me
just kind of coming in here, and you and I
have never met before, but corporate wants me to do
your performance evaluation right.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Now, really right now.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Apparently it's three weeks late.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I just have to ask you a couple of questions
about how you think you did in the past quarter. Okay, okay,
So on a scale of one to five, how productive?
Worry you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'll tell you what I think I led the division
as a matter of fact, I know it. Oh nice,
I'll say five.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Man, write and five down? Perfect?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
By the way, Uh, just curious, would you be interested
in some devil's claw diathemine.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Some double squad? Who what you know?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
The devil's claw root from the grapple plant.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have no idea, man, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, see, I got this side hustle where I'm selling
this organic herbal vitamin. It's a great treatment for bladder disease.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I don't think I would need anything like that, but
thanks to the offer.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, I mean it's good for other things, concluding childbirth, so.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I don't think I have to worry about that.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Well, you can give it away as like a gift
for like Christmas, white elephant stuff for Kingsaniera. People really
love getting it. So can I put you down for
a box fifty bucks? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Man, No, I don't. Oh yeah, no, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So, sorry about that. No, I guess let's back to
your review.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Then, yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
So Okay, I know you said five for productivity, but
I'm gonna go ahead and knock that down to three,
saying needs improvement.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Who whoa? We just agreed on five, man, Look.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
We can always get better, right, always room for improvement.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I led the branch in productivity. I would say, I
don't know that.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
You know, that's just something that you said, and I
haven't seen the reports or anything. I can't just take
it at your word for that.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Here, does this have anything to do with me not
buying this vitamin thing that you're.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Whoa, Hey, No, that's totally separate.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
You said five, and then after you know, I kind
of declined, your offer went to three.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Who If I'm being honest, you do sound a little
bit indecisive. But maybe you could turn it around if
you had a little dun q Why what. It's a
plant route mostly they find it over in Japan, but
it's been shown to boost estrogen levels by over five
hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Right last time I checked, I don't need to boost
my estrogen level.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh that's okay. It's also good for people with tired blood.
Is your blood sleepy?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I don't even know what tired blood is.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Man, Okay, Well, I'm gonna just put you down for
two boxes.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Then, yeah, how about not?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That'll be one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
You're not listening to me, man, I am not interested.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
That's what everybody says. I'm not interested until they have
a mouthful of dun Qui.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, man, I don't need a mouthful of dung quhi.
Can we just finish this review?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I don't normally do this, but I can get some
from the Korean black market for thirty bucks cheaper.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
It's not a price, man, you know I.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Want to like Venmo me seventy.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Either get back to the review or like, call this call.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's what you want to do then, or Okay, we're
just gonna I'm gonna fill out the rest of your
review myself here. I don't really need your input at
this point.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
What like, you're gonna fill it my review on your
own with no input for me?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Well, I was taking your input, but then you got
kind of aggressive with me.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Aggressive.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I noted that down in your performance review here.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Dude, you've been trying to sell me something during my
job performance review right there.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You just raised your voice at me for no reason.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
This is really not professional, dude.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, exactly, That's what your friend Kurt said.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Kurt, did you have Kurt's review before mine?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, I had to review his idea to do this
prank call on you.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Wait wait what what?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Because this is actually jeff I'm a radio host on
a show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're
doing a phone tap on you, dude, dude, No, really, seriously,
friend Kurt said, you love.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I got everybody. I got everybody here a cubicle city looking.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
At me, right, yeah, because they all heard about the
deal I'm given on dunk qui they want it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh, you're killing me, man.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
No, your lack of estrogen levels is what's killing you.
So can I put you down? For three boxes Premium
Dunk Quiet.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wake Up every
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Morning was phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties, Freaking
Jeffy in the morning,
We did his story the other day, But how it
seems like now everybody's got a side hustle going on.
Yeah yeah, I work as a pilot for United, but
my side hustle is writing fortune cookies only for the airport.
Panda expresses so specific. I'm kind of convenient four minutes early.
(00:20):
I mean, you never know who's got a side business
that they can't wait to tell you about. And we've
got the proof because today we call a guy whose
boss just got fired and I'm stepping in as the
new headman with a little bit of a side hustle too.
We're gonna hear in your phone tap right now. Hello, Hey, Nolan,
(00:44):
this is Garrett Thomas. I'm sorry, this is Garrett Thomas.
I'm a you know, I guess I'm your new boss.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Oh hey Garrett, nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Hey, yeah, nice to meet you too. So I'm curious
what happened to the other guy.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Man, I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, I'm not really in the know here because I'm
just coming from another branch.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We got the email. He's not working here anymore, and
that's all we know.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
You know what they said the same thing about a
guy over at my branch not too long ago. It
turns out he was violating puppets at a toy store. Whoa, yeah,
real freak.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Oh wow, man, that's insane.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm being serious.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
He was making the noises of the puppet and everything.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It was not pretty, oh man, in a store.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Anyway, So I know this is an unusual situation. Me
just kind of coming in here, and you and I
have never met before, but corporate wants me to do
your performance evaluation right.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Now, really right now.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Apparently it's three weeks late.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I just have to ask you a couple of questions
about how you think you did in the past quarter. Okay, okay,
So on a scale of one to five, how productive?
Worry you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I'll tell you what I think I led the division
as a matter of fact, I know it. Oh nice,
I'll say five.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Man, write and five down? Perfect?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
By the way, Uh, just curious, would you be interested
in some devil's claw diathemine.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Some double squad? Who what you know?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
The devil's claw root from the grapple plant.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I have no idea, man, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, see, I got this side hustle where I'm selling
this organic herbal vitamin. It's a great treatment for bladder disease.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I don't think I would need anything like that, but
thanks to the offer.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, I mean it's good for other things, concluding childbirth, so.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I don't think I have to worry about that.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Well, you can give it away as like a gift
for like Christmas, white elephant stuff for Kingsaniera. People really
love getting it. So can I put you down for
a box fifty bucks? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Man, No, I don't. Oh yeah, no, I don't think.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So, sorry about that. No, I guess let's back to
your review.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Then, yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
So Okay, I know you said five for productivity, but
I'm gonna go ahead and knock that down to three,
saying needs improvement.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Who whoa? We just agreed on five, man, Look.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
We can always get better, right, always room for improvement.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I led the branch in productivity. I would say, I
don't know that.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
You know, that's just something that you said, and I
haven't seen the reports or anything. I can't just take
it at your word for that.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Here, does this have anything to do with me not
buying this vitamin thing that you're.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Whoa, Hey, No, that's totally separate.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
You said five, and then after you know, I kind
of declined, your offer went to three.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Who If I'm being honest, you do sound a little
bit indecisive. But maybe you could turn it around if
you had a little dun q Why what. It's a
plant route mostly they find it over in Japan, but
it's been shown to boost estrogen levels by over five
hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Right last time I checked, I don't need to boost
my estrogen level.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh that's okay. It's also good for people with tired blood.
Is your blood sleepy?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I don't even know what tired blood is.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Man, Okay, Well, I'm gonna just put you down for
two boxes.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Then, yeah, how about not?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
That'll be one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
You're not listening to me, man, I am not interested.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
That's what everybody says. I'm not interested until they have
a mouthful of dun Qui.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
No, man, I don't need a mouthful of dung quhi.
Can we just finish this review?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I don't normally do this, but I can get some
from the Korean black market for thirty bucks cheaper.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
It's not a price, man, you know I.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Want to like Venmo me seventy.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Either get back to the review or like, call this call.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
That's what you want to do then, or Okay, we're
just gonna I'm gonna fill out the rest of your
review myself here. I don't really need your input at
this point.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
What like, you're gonna fill it my review on your
own with no input for me?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Well, I was taking your input, but then you got
kind of aggressive with me.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Aggressive.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I noted that down in your performance review here.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Dude, you've been trying to sell me something during my
job performance review right there.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
You just raised your voice at me for no reason.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
This is really not professional, dude.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, exactly, That's what your friend Kurt said.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Kurt, did you have Kurt's review before mine?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, I had to review his idea to do this
prank call on you.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Wait wait what what?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Because this is actually jeff I'm a radio host on
a show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're
doing a phone tap on you, dude, dude, No, really, seriously,
friend Kurt said, you love.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I got everybody. I got everybody here a cubicle city looking.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
At me, right, yeah, because they all heard about the
deal I'm given on dunk qui they want it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh, you're killing me, man.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
No, your lack of estrogen levels is what's killing you.
So can I put you down? For three boxes Premium
Dunk Quiet.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wake Up every
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Morning was phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties, Freaking
Jeffy in the morning,
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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