Phone Tap: Suggestions for the Substitute

Today’s Phone Tap victim is a substitute teacher and while she’s filling in for a few weeks, Brooke is calling as a concerned parent with a LAUNDRY LIST of critiques, tips, and teaching-adjustments she should make.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, we call a substitute teacher who's filling in for
a fourth grade class. The original teachers out on maternity leave,
so the new one's only been there for about a
week so far. But still, that's plenty of time for
one parent to come up with a long list of
critiques and teaching adjustments that she thinks she needs to make,
and Brooks list ranges from the mildly unreasonable to completely insane,

(00:26):
so we'll see how she handles it.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
And your phones appen right now. Hello?

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Hi is this Jamie? Yes, Hi, Jamie. My name is Heather.
My son Caleb is in your fourth grade class. Oh Caleb, Yes, Hi,
Ue to meet you.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Nice to meet you too. Caleb is such a great kid.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Oh you're being serious? Okay?

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
You obviously don't live with him. Oh no, agree, he's
very attentive in class. Good to hear the medications working.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
So, the reason I'm calling is I know you're new
and filling it for Miss Jennifer who's on maternity leave.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
So it looks like your first.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Week isn't going as well as when Miss Jennifer is
in charge.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I'm sorry, I don't what do you mean? I don't
understand we're having a great week.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
Well you might be, but Caleb comes home and says
he's not happy or fulfilled.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
He uses that word fulfilled.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
He does.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
He knows lots of big words. You should teach him
some more. Oh yeah, I mean we're working. I thought
we could just go over a few things that Miss
Jennifer does to help, and maybe you could adopt them too.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah, you could do them.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh oh well, I'm open to hearing what they are.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Right. So number one is I need you to stop
riding on the whiteboard with your left.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
Hand with my left hand, though maybe not.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
In this class, because it's very confusing for Caleb.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
He's right handed.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, I know, Caleb's his right handed I noticed, but
he can write with his right hand.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Okay, let's adapt. Okay, let's adapt.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
So just put it in your other hand that pin,
you know, seems pretty simple. Oh well, and I'd also
like you to prepare a hot cup of tea for
Caleb each morning when he arrives.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Miss Jennifer would do that with a.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Little slice eleven. But I won't ask that of you.
That maybe asking too much. Wow, I'm going to have
to talk to the vice principle about this. I didn't
know anything about them. Something else you might not know
is Caleb lost part of his finger in an accident
at home.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
I have it in a ziplock in the freezer.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm so sorry I did.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Oh, it's okay. It happened a long time ago.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
But Miss Jennifer would always let him bring it in
for show and tell, pass it around the room. He
would like pass his finger to other kids. I don't
understand just from that first knuckle up is what got severed.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
So the kids love it. They love it.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
You know what, though, I'll have him bring it in
a cooler because there was a problem with smell last time.
Oh god, darn little thing heats up like a Frankfurter for.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Those little ones like you have it the your dervs.
That's kind of what it looks like.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Mom.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
I'm so sorry, but I need to go.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Oh shoot, yeah, yeah, you know what. I just have
one more thing to ask you. I know your time
is so important, So I was just wondering. This isn't
really a formal.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Request, but just an option.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Are you interested in making Caleb's lunch every day? No?
I like your reaction there, It's just that I'm so
busy with work. And I heard you don't have any children,
so I can pay you two dollars per lunch. Yet, no,
I think that's not clear boundaries.

Speaker 3 (04:17):
That's forty dollars a month.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah. Good, And I can't imagine what they pay substitute teachers.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I bet you need that. Oh wow, yeah, you know
what the no crust and only organic berries? Can you
make that happen?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
This is really crossing a line.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh, I don't think miss Jennifer was doing all these things.
I find it very hard to believe.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Do you know who you should ask? Because you should
actually ask a teacher that you work with named Annie.
Do you know Miss Annie? Miss Annie?

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Because she's the one that wants you to listen to
the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning so
you can hear the prank phone call we're doing on you.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Right now, right now, Joe.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
What what is that, Julie Brooke, we're doing a phone
tap on you? Oh my god, Miss Annie, I'm gonna
kill her. Well, it wasn't just her, apparently it was
her and all the other teachers. They wanted to make
sure that you were welcome, since you're kind of n God,
I played hard. Is like racing right now, Like I wonder,

(05:22):
Oh your heart was racing because you couldn't wait to
see that little severed finger. Huh oh, yeah, I couldn't wait.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
It's a real hit with the kids.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Wake Up every morning was phone tap weekday mornings on
the twenties, brooking Jeffrey in the morning,