Phone Tap: Transporting For Temu

In your Phone Tap, we’re calling a woman who recently purchased a few knockoff items from TEMU. In light of the new restrictions on imports, we’re gonna need her assistance when we fly her junk in OURSELVES!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's broken Jeffrey in the morning. And you know what's
even bolder than dedicating an entire segment on a nationally
syndicated radio show to singing a parody song about tariffs.
What jeff It's doubling down and doing a prank phone
call about them, I know, which is why today I
call a woman who ordered a few items off the
Chinese shopping site Teamu, and I am determined to deliver

(00:24):
her the product she ordered at the discount price she
deserves us making it happen in your phone tap right now? Hello, Hi,
is this Dana Cale. Yeah, you don't know me, but

(00:48):
my name is Ernie and with Temu in the online marketplace.
What you bought a couple of items from us last
week and they haven't been delivered yet.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah, an off brand Stanley cup tumblr and a wireless
Bluetooth shower speaker.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Yeah, yeah, that's right. Right.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I know there's a feature on the app to track
your package, but that hasn't really been working, so it's
easier for me to just call you directly and let
you know I'm here. I'm at the airport. I'm sorry, yeah,
and sorry. I would have gone last week, but it
was my kid's sixth birthday, and you know, now looking
back on it, I probably could have skipped that so

(01:36):
you could get your stuff here on time. So again
I apologize.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
My bad team sent an actual person with my stuff
from China.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
That's the only way to keep the prices affordable avoid
those pesky tariffs. So I just landed, but I am
a little bit worried about the pap downs because a
security checkpoint is coming up and they look too closely,
they could find that hidden merch.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Wait wait, wait, so what you're doing is it's illegal?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I mean, honestly, I probably should have declared it before
I boarded the plane. But since I did it, we're no,
we're kind of in a gray area now, and I'm
just I don't want to take any risks.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, you're taking a big rip.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Though I did try to sell it on the plane
after I drank out of it or sorry, I mean,
I mean tested.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
It for safety.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
What you drank out of my cup?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Only because I want to give it to you and
I need to make sure I look like a tourist.

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I mean, but that's gross, Like I didn't order a
used Stanley cup.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Well, I mean, let's be honest, it's from Timu, so
other people have definitely drank out.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Of this stuff.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
That is so gross.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
I never heard that. I've heard a lot about Timu,
but I never heard that.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh it's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Hold on a second, I'm about to do the wanding
portion of the checkpoints.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Who whoo oh.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Uh wait, don't that's weird? Okay, Well, thank you off, sir,
have a great day.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
I'm so confused right now.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Great news. I just got through the security checkpoint and
now I am ready to do the exchange. What that means.
The thing is, I probably shouldn't leave the airport premises
because we know international laws, Like if I find out
someone from the Trade Commission is following me, I'm gonna
get twice as much prison time, and I do not

(03:36):
want to go back there.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Go back there.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, well you've been to prison produ Well yeah, I
mean you know, back when the selfie stick first came
out what I was caught with about thirty of them
on my person.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Oh that is a rough day for me.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Why are you doing this?

Speaker 1 (03:53):
So yeah, here's what we're gonna do to make sure
no more bad stuff happens to me. I'm going to
take your products and hide them inside of a black
bag in the second garbage can in front of Terminal C.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
No.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
No, I cannot go to the airport and remove this mystery.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Black bag from the garbage and then lead the airport.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
No, you can't just swing by later, because apparently they
don't empty the garbages until tomorrow morning, and you'll find
your stuff there again, second garbage can. No, no, no, no,
just stop right there. I'm not doing that, Okay, maybe
well if you won't, then maybe we could at least
get your friend Joe to come swing by and pick
him up, because he said that you were complaining about
the Timu products that never showed up, so he thought

(04:35):
we could use that as a way to prank you
on the radio.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Right now.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Why because I'm not actually from TIMU.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
My name is Jeff from the radio show Brook and
Jeffrey in the morning, we're doing a phone tap on you.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Oh sorry, Joe, set you up. I really want it.
I thought TIMU.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Sets the boddy over on an airplane, and you do
not want to know where I had to hide that
bluetooth speaker, so definitely sanitize when it arrives. I mean,
now I'm gonna sanitize no matter where it came from.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
I mean, it's TIMU.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
It's probably safe to do it anyway, so good Yeah,
I think so. The wake up every morning was fook
tabs weekday mornings on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in
the morning