Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Second date updated.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Is there any way to do the math to figure
out what type of person you're the most compatible with?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
For that, start with affectionate, multiply by heavy petting, subtract
two blindfolds, keep one, divide with an overbearing mother, and
this math.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Now, You're gonna die alone.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Every time I try to calculate this, I keep coming
up with the same answer.
Speaker 5 (00:35):
It's like time zero anytime you add the mother.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, saying goodness, our listener, Justine found a different formula,
and hopefully her results are better than mine, because apparently
she's been single for a bit now. But Justine, how's
the dating worlds going for you? Are you also reserving
a burial plot for one?
Speaker 6 (00:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Okay, okay, I could hear you. I can hear you
laughing through the tears, So that's good. It's all right, Justine.
But the funny thing is you're not alone in that.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
A lot of us are out there with you.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
But you said that you figured out some sort of
mathematic formula to help you with your dating life.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
What was that.
Speaker 6 (01:14):
Yeah, it's like this online test.
Speaker 7 (01:18):
You put in all the stuff that you care about,
like your preferences and whatever. For like finding a partner.
Speaker 6 (01:26):
And suppose we'll come back with like the percentage of
men on dating apps who like fit those preferences.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Oh really, so wait they also take the test thener, No,
I think that it probably I'm guessing it's an algorithm
that goes through and looks at their dating profiles. Is
that how it works?
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Yeah? And so, like I started out like super basic.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
I was like, they have to have a job, they
have to like not live at their parents' house, like
have a car.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Like, okay, well my standards are crazy on your end.
Speaker 7 (01:56):
I didn't put a single thing that was physical like
height or anything, and it came back with less than.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
One percent of men a job truly.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
Oh my okay, so you weren't feeling positive I'm guessing at.
Speaker 6 (02:14):
That number or you know that's like very bleak.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
Anyway, I like after all of that, ended up meeting
this guy named James, like just in a coffee shop.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Oh didn't even need the dating apps.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
She ran into the one percent.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Okay, that's funny, like the irony. How did that interaction happen?
Speaker 6 (02:34):
I literally was just sitting down and I was like
scrolling and he comes up to me. And he's like,
are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry,
I don't work here. Like I thought, he was like
a flying at the coffee stop.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Okay, were you wearing like an apron or something?
Speaker 6 (02:48):
No, I guess I just like looked like I was.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (02:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Or you're a manager. You know sometimes you walk into
a restaurant or something you see a manager working.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Good point.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah, how did you responds to him when he asked
about applications?
Speaker 6 (03:02):
I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here, and
he was like no, no, like to be your boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Oh oh, it was all fe Okay did you like that?
Speaker 6 (03:11):
I mean I thought it was funny, but he like
fully went along with it, and he was like, listen,
I brought my resume. I've got like my history and
experience and he legitimately like pulled out a piece of paper.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Wait what he had a dating resume? Yes? Oh, I
have to know what was on it?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Or is it a move that he pulls on women
all the time. And he has twenty quote unquote dating
resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he sees
someone cute, kind of like the.
Speaker 6 (03:37):
Real world of getting a job.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
If she liked the resume, who cares how many other
people like what was on it?
Speaker 6 (03:46):
You know, like basic stuff like he likes going to
games and hiking. But he was like, yeah, if you
want to set up an interview, you can just like
call the number. And I was like, why don't you
just sit down now when I can interview you?
Speaker 7 (03:57):
Oh a response, Yeah, And it was really nice, like
he turned out to be an awesome guy. He like
offer to literally venmo me for the coffee that I'd
already bought.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Guy, you look poor here. You probably need this.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him?
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Well, okay, so I've actually like done interviews at my
real job. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna
pull some of these. And I was like, what's one
thing you don't want me to know about you?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Dude?
Speaker 5 (04:30):
He is so not prepared for the dang it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I would hate that question to be asked to me
on a first day. But did he have an answer
for you?
Speaker 6 (04:37):
He did, and it was like it was like ready made.
It's like he expected it.
Speaker 7 (04:41):
And he legitimately said, I pry when I.
Speaker 6 (04:45):
Watched the matrix because I'm scared about the future.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh oh, I don't think that was prepared.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
I feel like that was honest Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
I'm so scared.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
There's no way he just thought of that. How did
you feel about that response?
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Honestly, I thought was really funny and it was really clever,
and like because it was so quick, I was like, oh, no,
you're serious.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, it's not a red flag to you that he
thinks the matrix is actually going to happen in the
next few years.
Speaker 6 (05:10):
Could have had so many worse answers.
Speaker 5 (05:12):
He said, yeah, that is so much.
Speaker 7 (05:14):
Better than anything.
Speaker 6 (05:15):
Okay, So anyway, at the end, he's like, today I
get the job, and I was like, well, we probably
should set up like a second interview.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (05:22):
Then I definitely got the job, and we kind of
like left.
Speaker 7 (05:25):
It off there and it was funny and we laughed
and then he like never called me again. What I
like texted him made jokes about like, hey, we need
to set up your second interview, and it was just silence.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
No if you guys cancer anything or like hug was
her physical viouce?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, like a normal job interview, Yes, a job.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
It doesn't like a transition.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
How do you think I got hired to ye?
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I mean that is strange though, because he's the one
that approached you. He's the one that did the line
like why wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
He, But she's the one that took it to the
next level, that actually made him sit down for it.
He probably just it was a smooth line and was
going to back away.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
Literally was the one asking like, did I get the job?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
He just wants the ego boost to offer the company
gives you isn't good.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
He's got to put in two weeks at his last job,
so find out.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, there's clearly a lot of options on the table.
We're going to find out for sure what happened when
we come back and call James to do your second
date update.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Right after this second date update.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Is there any setting more romantic than a job interview?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
It shouldn't be romantic.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I don't know, Broke, You're dressed all nice, You're talking
about your biggest.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Strength and your greatest weaknesses.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
All of a sudden, what comes out of your pants?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh god, a resume? Would you look at that? I
just happened to have that on me.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
No wonder, it's so warm, that's actually kind of what
happened to one of our listeners who met a guy recently.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It wasn't an official job application, but some dudes saw
at a coffee shop and asked, hey, are you taking boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Application?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Is so smooth and he even.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Had a resume in his pants.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
That's why even smooth pocket okay, or who knows where
it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Either way, it's kind of sus that he just carries
that around waiting to whip out to any cute girl,
if that's what he does.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
But we don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
He may have done this just.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
For the thing he's putting some effort in.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, it did work, and he got to sit down
with her for a little interview slash mini first date.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
By the end he said he was definitely going to
call her, and according to her, he definitely didn't. Ah Man,
I think we're all a little bit concerned that this
little stick he's doing is working too well, and maybe
he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
There are a lot of openings. Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, Justine, if this turns out where he actually does
this all the time and meets hundreds of women, this way,
how could we make him remember you and have you
stand like, how do we identify you?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Or do you still even want to go out with him?
Speaker 6 (08:13):
At that point, I'm curious to hear what he has
to say.
Speaker 7 (08:17):
But yeah, I was wearing a green romper, I have
red hair and glasses.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Okay, cute, Okay, Ronald mcdonne, like you were the only
one who sat him down and actually gave him like
a legit interview. That's like, how could he remember you? Hopefully?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
All right, so we'll see if he does remember you
and what he asked to say.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
We're James's phone number right now? Here we go.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Hello, Hey, we're looking for James h Yeah.
Speaker 7 (08:54):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Where we we are a radio show?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Jeff?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Sorry? What you first word? Yeah? Thanks for putting on
all my flush in front of everybody.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
You know, job, we're calling on behalf of our boss,
Justine and apparently you applied for the position of her
boyfriend role recently.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
Do you remember that interview? Do you remember that interview?
Speaker 4 (09:23):
I mean I remember a few of them. Yeah, right, I.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Mean we expected that we heard about the move that
you pulled on our listener where you walked up to
her and you like had a resume and asked if
there was a boyfriend opening.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Is that something that you've done a lot?
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Yeah, I've done that a good amount.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Can I guess how many times? Is it two hundred times?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I don't know about two hundred.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I want to know the success, right, how many of
those turn into a date?
Speaker 4 (09:59):
They do? Sometimes? I've definitely met some interesting people, Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
I am curious about that before we get to like
Justine specifically, Like, what are some of the quirky things
that you found out while trying this on other people before?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
I mean, there was this one girl who was an
extreme coupon her Oh whoa I've never met before.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, that's interesting people they call them cheap skates, but yeah,
go ahead.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
There's another girl who kept talking about alien abductions, so
that was really interesting.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Was that a turn on for you? I'm curious, Like,
it sounds like you're just meeting people to meet weird people.
Are you actually looking for supthing in this?
Speaker 4 (10:39):
You know, I don't really know what I'm looking for,
to be honest, It's just it's proven to be a
great way to meet people. May people really respond interesting?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Maybe you're looking for a girl who wears a green
romper to a coffee shop and has bright red hair,
and that just tells you to sit down for the
interview right away when you ask.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Oh, yeah, thank god you told me what she was wearing,
because that now I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
I didn't ask you to sit down for the interview
to the aliens.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
So now you remember Justine?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Yeah, yeah, I remember Justine. Here's the thing. I do
this a good amount, and it's just, you know, it's
all over the place the reactions that I get. But
Justine's was like, she was really quick with it, and
she was she was different, and I'll be honest, that
kind of freaked me out.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
It did.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I didn't know.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
How to respond because she beat you at your own
game essentially, right.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, yeah, pretty much, But.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
That seems like it'd be a turn on.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Men don't like to be outsmart.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
I was just kidding, how do they ever meet anyone?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
How did you feel talking to Justine like that? Were
you scared of her?
Speaker 4 (11:53):
You know? Yeah? Honestly, I just I never take this
thing seriously. It's just it's just sort of a gimmick.
And she for the first time, I felt like, Wow,
this really could be something.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
You can't let your own insecurity stand of the way
that you want someone who challenges you.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
What's your hold up?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
Then? I guess I'm just not used to that. I've
never never had that happen for So.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
You finally found her and you're like, what do I do?
Speaker 5 (12:18):
That's why you're single? My man?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Like you don't know how to move forward now that
you realize you actually.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Like her kind of like she might you might just
be quicker than me.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
I don't know, I think she is.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's terrifying.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
No, I mean I appreciate the honesty.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah, you know what, if you think that's terrifying, just
wait till you hear that she's actually been listening to
this conversation the entire time.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
It is on the other line right now.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
You serious, Hey, scary, Justine's trying not to scream.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Hey Justine, come on.
Speaker 6 (12:52):
James, you were like I thought we had like a banter.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
We did? We did? It freaked me out. I've never
had a banter.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
Oh, you have every right to be like confident and
witty and like the guy that I met could like
play ball, like he could play chess. And I feel
like you're just like afraid of that. But honestly, you
you kept up in the conversation great, like it was.
I really enjoyed our conversation. And I'm a little sad,
but like now you're like backing out.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
I mean, I'm not backing out. I'm just sort of
like frozen, not not sure what to do.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
Okay, okay, this is positive.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Now I need to dethaw you and get you back
into action.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
What did I picture popping in a microwaves?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Well, whatever you got to do.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
She liked your energy when you first met, so just
bring that back and talk to her.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Yeah, I mean I I can definitely do that.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
More confident than that though, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Justine, and I would like that. I would like if
we get the storm late.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It sounds kind of timid to me. Let's start.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Can you try to say it a little more assertive.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
That's some flair on a James.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Justine, Let's do this, all right, let's do this.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
I thought, I mean, I thought you guys were going
to talk right now.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I thought, well, not in front of you, dude.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
You can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be
people's boyfriends and then not.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
It's like you put on your application, but you have
no show it to us.
Speaker 6 (14:22):
The thing I think you do have, Riz, I think
you're just afraid of messing up, and it keeps you from.
Speaker 7 (14:27):
Being bold, like you really you got in your head,
I think so when there are no steaks, it's easy.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
But now that there's steaks, that's.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
That's actually true.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
There will be steaks if we pay for them, because
we will offer to send you to a steakhouse.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Really, our gift cards cover.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
This, and it's going to be an Apple.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
I thought we were going to Sizzlers, but.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
We'd like to send you guys out on one more
date that we would pay for if you're not too afraid.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
James, come on, James, Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I feel like if we didn't call and push you
into this, then this date never even would have happened.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Yeah, I mean we don't know that.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Well, Okay, Justine, you're still okay with it.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
I am open to a second interview, but he honestly
sounds like pretty different, a lot more timid, So we'll
just have to see how a less rehearsed interview goes.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Okay, was the first one just to show or is
it really.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Who he is Yeah, you find out in a real
world experience. I'm doing the dating math on this, just
like Justine did originally, and I'm saying this relationship is
probably at a five percent chance right now.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
I was going to give it.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
That's good unless he says something really smooth right.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
Now, I got nothing.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Okay, it's a chance. Good lucky guys. It's broken. Jeffrey
in the morning.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Broken Jeffrey in the morning.