August 16, 2024 • 8 mins
Can you finish these puns quicker than we could?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're going to try a new segment on the show.
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, because, as you know,
we are innovators in entertainment and no one is ever duplicators.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, people copy you.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
It's like the highest form of flattery.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Well, yeah, they wish they could copy us on this,
but they can't keep up.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
So, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to good news bad news.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I love it, real news stories, but with a twist
of good or bad at the very end.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm down.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Let's get right into it. You'll understand.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
First piece of news, the TSA says they're going to
increase the three ounces of liquid rule. That is welcome
news because now you can finally bring like a normal
sized toothpaste on the plane with you. The bad news,
it's not gonna happen for sixteen years.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'm serious. They're making these new scanners for it. It's
going to take two decades to produce.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This is why people are still confused when they're waiting
in the TSA.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's not all good news. Remember, some of it is
bad news. The next good news bad news. This past year,
companies have been firing less people.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Brook, why did you win set? Then we're firing less.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It is good. But what's coming next? Well, you know,
bad news.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Maybe you're thinking, wow, the big wigs are finally appreciating
the working class. Actually, no, bad news. They're just not
calling it firing anymore. They're calling it layoffs because that
terminology hurts people's feelings. Less still letting go just as
many people.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
One more Wait, if you.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Want one more good news bad news, We're gonna start
with the bad news on this one. First, studies show
the average American requires less sleep to function normally.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, it's bad.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's troubling because we all love sleeping, I know. But
here's the good news. Instead of sleep, the average American
takes five lazy days a month to relax.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Hey, that's sixty.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Days a year where you do absolutely nothing all day
long for your mental average.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Let's go. I think that Jose is the one that's skewing.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Sixty days of doom scrolling watching TV and listening to
the Brook and Jeffrey podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Or do these people have kids or jobs or anything.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
No, they do, but they ignore all of that just
to listen to our show. Yeahs more good news, bad news.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Time for shock collar question of the day, bad news.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
One of us is definitely getting electrocuted in the throat.
So Jake, it's up to you. Now, good news, bad news,
shock collar.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Let's do it, all right, Listen up.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I know this is going to be difficult for this group,
but you're gonna have to actually be funny for today's shot. Color.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Someone call my agent.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I did not agree to this, Jakes, all right, I've
heard this show once or twice and I know that's
not really Your guys are strong, but I have no
choice because today is National Tell a Joke Day. I'm
going to try and make it as easy as possible
for you four to come across as funny as we
do a special finish the pun edition oflenty of twenty.
(03:23):
It's very simple. I'll read the setup of a pun.
You just have to correctly figure out the punchline and
you're safe. We do this every day. If you screw
it up and you get it wrong, and you embarrass
me in front of our dozens of listeners, you'll be
at risk for your execution from a dog shot. Because
it seems like an exaggeration, Let's start with the woman
who's an outspoken lover of puns. That's Alexis, Alexis, here's
(03:48):
your joke. Why did Adele cross the road? One of
our rolling in the deep?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
That has nothing to do with it?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
What's her song? Hello from?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It's something about hello and to say hello from the
other side, to.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Say hello from the other side, it's correct. Funny work, Alexis.
I knew you loved pot. We're over to brook Brook.
Here's your joke. What kind of concert only costs forty
five cents?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Fifty concert would cost fifty cents?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I know this?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Oh yeah, this is kind of a famous one famous.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah, you have something to do with fifty cents.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
We can't help you.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Why can't you help me? Is that the rule? Nickelback
fifty with Nickelback? Ye, a fifty cent concert featuring Nickelback.
That's correct. Got that two? Where's the math? I know
the math.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It's so refreshing for us to actually be funny.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I love it. We're over to Jose now, Jose, here's
your joke. What did the grape say when it got crushed?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
What would why would it be funny get smashed? And
maybe it would?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Why what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Help?
Speaker 4 (05:08):
No, you're not supposed to give each other answer.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'll say wine, just let out a little wine. I
don't want him to fail.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
He would have been upset for the next three hours.
He loves a good joke.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
He wants to hear more of these.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
All right, Jeffrey, were over to you.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
A crazy wife says to her husband that mooser falling
from the sky. The husband says, it's what.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Oh man, these are tough puns. This world is ending.
That's not good. Yeah, I'm thinking like it's raining men. No, oh,
it's it's rein deer.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's rain deer. That's correct, Jeffrey, We're four four really hard.
We're back to Alexis joke. I had a crazy dream
last night. I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
Turns out it was I.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Immediate orange Fanta.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It was fant it was faint, faint, I don't know,
yeahs I.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Was looking for. It was a fanta seas fantasy. This
is why I hate We're over to Brook now Brook.
Here's your joke. Ladies. If your guy can't appreciate your
fruit jokes, you need to let that. Oh yeah, looking
for one word.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
It's such a good one.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Fruit jokes. If ladies, if you're a guy, can't you
need to let that vegetable. You need to let him go.
You need to.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Brock open mic night. Come on, Brook nail the joke.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
No, don't you there's a fruit joke and he and
he doesn't appreciate it. I'm sorry, that's time. You need
to let that man go. Mango, Mango. We're over to Jose.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Jose.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You need to get this one right or Jeffrey's gonna
win the pun addition of plenty of twenty pressure. Did
you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? I heard
the food was good, but it had no service. Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Like lunar.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh my god, it's a space joke, a space rocks.
I can't think of it. I'm sorry. Times up looking
for atmosphere. Jeffrey, you've won today's edition of Good Job.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Twenty jeff you got a good set right now stage
In honor of Brooke and her fifty cent nickelback question,
somebody wanted to hear candy shop by fifty request.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Who better to do it than the one that grinded
to it back in high school, Brook Fox, I'll take
you there.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I'll take you to the candy show, I'll let you
lick the lollipop.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
As your shot collar question of the day.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
That was so dirty When I was that was no
idea I knew.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Now it's back to the non funny part of the show,
with your phone tap coming.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Broken Jeffrey in the Morning.
We're going to try a new segment on the show.
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, because, as you know,
we are innovators in entertainment and no one is ever duplicators.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah, people copy you.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
It's like the highest form of flattery.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Well, yeah, they wish they could copy us on this,
but they can't keep up.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
So, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to good news bad news.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I love it, real news stories, but with a twist
of good or bad at the very end.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm down.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Let's get right into it. You'll understand.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
First piece of news, the TSA says they're going to
increase the three ounces of liquid rule. That is welcome
news because now you can finally bring like a normal
sized toothpaste on the plane with you. The bad news,
it's not gonna happen for sixteen years.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'm serious. They're making these new scanners for it. It's
going to take two decades to produce.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This is why people are still confused when they're waiting
in the TSA.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's not all good news. Remember, some of it is
bad news. The next good news bad news. This past year,
companies have been firing less people.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Brook, why did you win set? Then we're firing less.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
It is good. But what's coming next? Well, you know,
bad news.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Maybe you're thinking, wow, the big wigs are finally appreciating
the working class. Actually, no, bad news. They're just not
calling it firing anymore. They're calling it layoffs because that
terminology hurts people's feelings. Less still letting go just as
many people.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
One more Wait, if you.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Want one more good news bad news, We're gonna start
with the bad news on this one. First, studies show
the average American requires less sleep to function normally.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, it's bad.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's troubling because we all love sleeping, I know. But
here's the good news. Instead of sleep, the average American
takes five lazy days a month to relax.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Hey, that's sixty.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Days a year where you do absolutely nothing all day
long for your mental average.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Let's go. I think that Jose is the one that's skewing.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Sixty days of doom scrolling watching TV and listening to
the Brook and Jeffrey podcast.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Or do these people have kids or jobs or anything.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
No, they do, but they ignore all of that just
to listen to our show. Yeahs more good news, bad news.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Time for shock collar question of the day, bad news.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
One of us is definitely getting electrocuted in the throat.
So Jake, it's up to you. Now, good news, bad news,
shock collar.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Let's do it, all right, Listen up.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I know this is going to be difficult for this group,
but you're gonna have to actually be funny for today's shot. Color.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Someone call my agent.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I did not agree to this, Jakes, all right, I've
heard this show once or twice and I know that's
not really Your guys are strong, but I have no
choice because today is National Tell a Joke Day. I'm
going to try and make it as easy as possible
for you four to come across as funny as we
do a special finish the pun edition oflenty of twenty.
(03:23):
It's very simple. I'll read the setup of a pun.
You just have to correctly figure out the punchline and
you're safe. We do this every day. If you screw
it up and you get it wrong, and you embarrass
me in front of our dozens of listeners, you'll be
at risk for your execution from a dog shot. Because
it seems like an exaggeration, Let's start with the woman
who's an outspoken lover of puns. That's Alexis, Alexis, here's
(03:48):
your joke. Why did Adele cross the road? One of
our rolling in the deep?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
That has nothing to do with it?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
What's her song? Hello from?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It's something about hello and to say hello from the
other side, to.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Say hello from the other side, it's correct. Funny work, Alexis.
I knew you loved pot. We're over to brook Brook.
Here's your joke. What kind of concert only costs forty
five cents?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Fifty concert would cost fifty cents?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I know this?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Oh yeah, this is kind of a famous one famous.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Yeah, you have something to do with fifty cents.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
We can't help you.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Why can't you help me? Is that the rule? Nickelback
fifty with Nickelback? Ye, a fifty cent concert featuring Nickelback.
That's correct. Got that two? Where's the math? I know
the math.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It's so refreshing for us to actually be funny.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I love it. We're over to Jose now, Jose, here's
your joke. What did the grape say when it got crushed?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
What would why would it be funny get smashed? And
maybe it would?
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Why what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Help?
Speaker 4 (05:08):
No, you're not supposed to give each other answer.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'll say wine, just let out a little wine. I
don't want him to fail.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
He would have been upset for the next three hours.
He loves a good joke.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
He wants to hear more of these.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
All right, Jeffrey, were over to you.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
A crazy wife says to her husband that mooser falling
from the sky. The husband says, it's what.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Oh man, these are tough puns. This world is ending.
That's not good. Yeah, I'm thinking like it's raining men. No, oh,
it's it's rein deer.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's rain deer. That's correct, Jeffrey, We're four four really hard.
We're back to Alexis joke. I had a crazy dream
last night. I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
Turns out it was I.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Immediate orange Fanta.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It was fant it was faint, faint, I don't know,
yeahs I.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Was looking for. It was a fanta seas fantasy. This
is why I hate We're over to Brook now Brook.
Here's your joke. Ladies. If your guy can't appreciate your
fruit jokes, you need to let that. Oh yeah, looking
for one word.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
It's such a good one.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Fruit jokes. If ladies, if you're a guy, can't you
need to let that vegetable. You need to let him go.
You need to.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Brock open mic night. Come on, Brook nail the joke.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
No, don't you there's a fruit joke and he and
he doesn't appreciate it. I'm sorry, that's time. You need
to let that man go. Mango, Mango. We're over to Jose.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Jose.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You need to get this one right or Jeffrey's gonna
win the pun addition of plenty of twenty pressure. Did
you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? I heard
the food was good, but it had no service. Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Like lunar.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh my god, it's a space joke, a space rocks.
I can't think of it. I'm sorry. Times up looking
for atmosphere. Jeffrey, you've won today's edition of Good Job.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Twenty jeff you got a good set right now stage
In honor of Brooke and her fifty cent nickelback question,
somebody wanted to hear candy shop by fifty request.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Who better to do it than the one that grinded
to it back in high school, Brook Fox, I'll take
you there.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I'll take you to the candy show, I'll let you
lick the lollipop.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
As your shot collar question of the day.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
That was so dirty When I was that was no
idea I knew.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Now it's back to the non funny part of the show,
with your phone tap coming.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Broken Jeffrey in the Morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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