October 29, 2025 • 47 mins
This week, Mandi opens up about her healing journey—sharing how slowing down, softening up, and getting real rest have transformed her mental health and daily rhythm. From battling depression and anxiety to finally finding peace through sleep, nourishment, and support.
Plus, she gives updates on the Brown Ambition book (you can help pick the cover!), her new free mini course, and what’s next for the Mandi Moneymakers Community. Then Mandi dives into headlinesfrom SNAP benefits and Trump’s $300M ballroom to Target layoffs and AI at work.
🧠 You’ll Learn:
- How Mandi’s healing journey is transforming her mindset
- Why slowing down can make you more productive
- How to join the Mandi Moneymakers Community
- Where to grab the free Nail Your Negotiation mini course
- Mandi’s take on SNAP cuts, corporate greed, and AI in the workplace
🔗 Resources
- Nail Your Negotiation (Free Mini Course): nailyournegotiation.com
- Join the Mandi Moneymakers Community: mandymoney.com/community
- Vote on the Book Cover: patreon.com/brownambition
- Find Local Food Banks: feedingamerica.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, ba fam, let's be real for a second, and
y'all know I keep it a book. The job market
has been brutal, now not brutal trash, especially for women
of color. Over three hundred thousand of us have disappeared
from the workforce this year alone, and not by choice,
but because of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs, and stagnant wages
(00:20):
that keep cutting us out of opportunity. Our unemployment rate
has jumped to over seven percent, while our pay gap
continues to widen. I know all of that sounds dire,
but here's what I want y'all to know. You do
not have to wait for the system to save you.
That's exactly why I created the Mandy money Makers Group
coaching community. It is a coaching community that is built
(00:41):
for us by us. Inside the community, we're not just
talking about how to negotiate or to how to get
the job that you want. It's about finding purpose in
your career. It's about finding communities and others, feeling seen,
feeling heard, and also having a sounding board and a
mirror to reflect your own magic, your own sparkle right
(01:03):
back to yourself. In this community, you'll get group coaching
led by me, but you also get peer to peer
accountability with proven tools and resources that can help you
do what we have always done since rise. Even when
the odds are stacked against us, despite all the challenges,
we will rise. If you're interested in joining the Mandy
(01:24):
money Makers community and having that support to bolster you
and help you tap back into your magic so that
you can lead your career with intention and heart and
your own intuition, trusting that again, please join us. You
can find information in the show notes of today's episodes,
or go to mandymoney dot com slash community. That's Mandy
(01:47):
m A n d I money dot com slash community.
I would love to see y'all there. Enrollment is open,
so please go check out mandymoney dot com slash community today. Hey, hey,
ba fam, it's your girl, Mandy Money. How y'all doing?
(02:10):
How are we doing? It's been a journey these past
couple of weeks. It's been two weeks now since I
came out of the depression closet. And I keep saying that,
even though it's a confusing expression and I probably shouldn't
say closet, but since I took off the mask, I'll
say that and opened up about my lifelong battle or
(02:32):
war whatever against depression and anxiety, and I gotta be honest,
I completely avoided social media for about forty eight hours
after that episode went live, and especially social media, because
I went back and forth over whether to clip the
show and put a little bit of a preview on
Instagram and TikTok. And the reason I almost didn't was
(02:54):
because I just know there's lots of people who will
look at that thirty second or sixty second clip and
they won't actually listen to the full episode. And that
whole episode was meant to be really a letter to
my BA fam, to my listeners, to this incredible community
who will actually be tuning in and listening with a
(03:14):
whole heart and open mind to the full story. And
I really wanted that whole message to get out there,
but I did. I put a little clippy clip, and
you know, often, like I said, depression is a liar,
anxiety is a liar. And there really was nothing to fear.
There was only oh God, all right, don't get emotional already,
(03:37):
mess girl. There were just open arms and open hearts
and a mountain of compassion, a wave of compassion, just
some giant land form of compassion, compassion, compassion from y'all,
and I take that compassion and I open these arms
and I just give it right back to y'all. Because
(03:59):
if there's one thing that's a parent from sharing a
little bit about my story, and the beauty of that
is that I've gotten to hear from y'all as well.
I'm not just talking into the abyss. Y'all get to
respond and to share your stories. So to everyone who
has emailed and sent me dms, I just checked my
DMS today and I was like, oh, let me go
(04:20):
into the hidden you know, the folder where if someone
is in a contact like the messages will get kind
of shoved over there. And I saw ten other messages
that I hadn't read yet, and the tears started to
well in a beautiful way. And I just want y'all
to know that I see you, and I'm linking arms
(04:41):
with y'all, and it's okay not to be okay. And
at the same time, I just wanted y'all to know
that I'm gonna be okay. I know we all are.
We're going to be okay. And then I think what
also is helpful is to recognize that we're not going
to be okay sometimes, and that just because we're not
(05:01):
okay sometimes doesn't negate all the wonderful you know, moments
of brightness and happiness and things are really like cooking
with Crisco and things are working out, and it's just
all it's all part of the whole package, right of
just existing. So thank y'all for seeing me and my
(05:21):
humanity and for still showing up and supporting the show,
because at the end of the day, I do it
for y'all every day. Ba fam. So I wanted to
update y'all because some of the things that I talked
about when talking about depression was that it's really taken
a hold of me in pretty much every form, and
(05:43):
it seeped into every aspect of my whole wellness as
a person, as a human. It's affecting my health, it's
affecting my mental health certainly, it's affecting my relationships. And
one of the biggest challenges I've had because of the
mental health challenges has been the impact to my sleep
(06:06):
and the way that those two have been linked together
is with depression and anxiety, I have gained and with motherhood,
I've gained a lot of weight, and one of the
symptoms of wake gain for me has been severe sleep apnea.
I finally went to my doctor in the spring to
talk to her about my concern that I might have
(06:27):
sleep apnea. Several people in my immediate family have had
sleep apnea, and I was having all the signs migraines,
waking up with a dry mouth, never being fully rested,
always fatigued, the way I was guzzling lattes, y'all, and
oh my goodness, four sometimes six shots of espresso a day,
(06:48):
still not feeling well and you know, feeling like I'd
wake up in the middle of the night with short
of breath and not able to really get comfortable. So
classic signs, right. It took me six months to get
that sleep study. I went to my and this is
a good example of when you advocate for yourself and
still the freaking healthcare system really sucks sometimes. And I
(07:09):
guess there's a lot of people trying to get sleep
studies because your girl could not get an appointment until
late September, and then I actually ended up getting one
early September because I got on a cancelation list, so
saved myself a few weeks but long, long story, short
is that I I'm the proud owner of a seapap machine.
(07:29):
Hell yeah, and proud and it is now it's now
day well, it's day seven. Night I had my sixth
night in a row. I might get emotional talking about this,
because that is how debilitating that lack of sleep has been, y'all.
Sixth night in a row, I have slept. I have
slept well, and I got used to it, you know.
(07:52):
I was like, we won't make this work, this mask,
And I'm just really really feeling hopeful because I knew
that once I would sleep, once I could actually like
recharge and heal my body and like you know, go
through that really important process that like sleep is a
very fundamental function of the human body for survival. Once
(08:13):
I could have that again, that I'd start to feel
a lot better. And it's it's happening. So I'm so grateful.
And if this seems like something that you're struggling with too,
I hope that you'll go to your doctor and talk
to them. A lot of y'all also asked me and
raise my awareness of oh that could this be perimenopause.
(08:35):
I'm thirty eight years old and I'm in that season
right where Perry might be coming for me, and and
how that also one of the symptoms of perimenopause is
not being able to sleep and having that like disruption
to your sleep. In my case, it seems to be
the sleep apnea is the is the beast here. But
(08:58):
I heard y'all and I'm listening, and it has been
a while since I've gone to the guyano, and I'm
going to make an appointment just to just to start,
you know, tackling that as well, because it could be
any day now Parry's coming for me. And let me
tell you, I'm going to be like, give me all
the hormones, like, shoot me up, what you got, you know,
I'm just trying to function, so when that happens for me,
(09:22):
you know, I'll also try to stay on top of that.
So sleep, oh sleep the cure in so many ways.
So I'm just really grateful to be getting some good
rest and it's already changing so much. I'm not exhausted
by two pm. I'm not even kidding you. By two pm,
it would feel like midnight. And that's right when my
(09:42):
little boy would get off the school bus and I
would have to you know, drag myself through the next
eight hours and really try to, you know, just be
there for him and to be present and do all things.
But being so exhausted and just really really grateful that
things are getting better there, I've also made some real
(10:06):
concerted effort. I also want to talk about a couple
of words that have been kind of pingponging around my
mind lately. Well, not ping ponging, not that aggressive, more
like you know that old screensaver with the little bar
that would kind of drift from one corner of your
screen to the next, but it would never fully like
(10:27):
get in the corner and you just kind of follow that.
You'd have to really be an elder millennial to get
this reference, I feel like, but slowly I have been
thinking about these these concepts and trying to implement them
into my life just to make things more manageable. It's
made me feel better. And so one of them is slow.
(10:51):
The other one is soft, and I'll talk about that
for a moment. I actually just took a little breathing
break because I could feel myself getting a little ahead
of my like my mind moving faster, and I'm really
trying to slow down these days. Slowing down and being
soft with myself are two things that when I'm in
(11:15):
a healthy state of mind and when I'm all right,
I know how the importance of that, and I can
I can offer those things to myself, you know, slowness
and softness. But when I was in such a heightened
state of anxiety and depression at the same time, doing doing,
doing felt like what I had to do. I felt
(11:35):
like I needed to be doing more, working harder. If
I can't sleep all night, well then why bother get
up earlier, you know, don't let the weight of anxiety
and depression stop me. Right, I have a business to run,
I have people relying on me. I've got to get
(11:56):
up and make this work. And so I would force
myself to move when and force myself to move and
tell myself that that's the way that you accomplish these
big goals that you have. I am very ambitious, and
y'all know I'm working on my book, and I have
this business, and of course I had the podcast, and
(12:19):
I want to be a present mother, and producing and
doing it felt like the way to push through that
if I just kept moving that I would start feeling better,
because these elements of my life would start be would
start being better. You know, the business wouldn't feel so
(12:39):
out of my control because I would be more on
top of things, and the podcast, I would feel like
I had more of a handle on the schedule and
the production of it and the booking and all that.
If I was just more on top of it. And
you know, the book, the book has to get done.
I have these huge edits on my manuscript that are
due and I've got to you know, work around clock
(13:00):
to get those done. And what I was doing, by
doing and pushing myself and trying to push through was well,
was actually, in a lot of ways stopping myself from
accomplishing those things. I was really sabotaging myself. And because
I was in the thick of that anxiety. And I've
talked about how, you know, depressions a liar, anxiety is
a liar. I wasn't able to see. I didn't have
(13:23):
that clarity to say, you know what you need to do,
stop slow stop, be slow slow down. And it's really
hard because I'll speak for myself, you're running in place
like I was really pushing, pushing, pushing, but I was
(13:45):
getting literally nowhere that will drive you insane really quickly.
And ever since that episode came out, I and I'm
in therapy as well, and so talk to my therapist
about just implementing some small acts of slowness and acts
of softness that I can introduce to really take care
(14:08):
of myself and to just practice compassion for myself. And
I full on have been babying myself for the past
two weeks. And when I say babying, I really have
had to say, like, if this were my little one
and he was feeling this way, what would Mama do?
And Mama would make sure that he was cozy and
(14:32):
comforted and really just focusing on what he could do
to start feeling better. I would make sure that he
ate well, I would make sure that we were doing
things that you know, brought some joy, and I would
just really be a soft place to land. And I
am someone who's and I think a lot of y'all
(14:53):
can relate just you know, likes to produce and likes
to create and likes to make things and build things
and strive and achieve. I'm not the greatest at taking
care of myself and nourishing myself and nurturing myself and
that's really what I had to do. And you know,
you can sort of drive yourself crazy looking around like
(15:16):
who can I hire and like who should I get
to help me with this and to make me feel
better here? And it's like it can come from us,
Like we can give ourselves a break, we can nurture ourselves.
And the beginning it felt really into anti what's the
word counterintuitive? Counterproductive to slow down because these deadlines, these
(15:40):
big goals of mine, they're not going anywhere. I still
have them, and how can slowing down and stopping actually
get me there? Well, refueling and recharging my spirit, letting
my body rest and heal from over a year of
not sleeping and not being well taken care of, it's
only going to make me more capable of being productive,
(16:01):
but efficient with that productivity and not having it become
this toxic battle where I am just criticizing myself into
taking action. So what I've been doing is a couple
of things. I have looked at the mornings to be
my slow nourishing time, once the kids are out the
door at school, on the bus in daycare. I have
(16:24):
come home and I have made and I mean like cooked,
like made breakfast for myself, no grab and go, no
meal prep. The night before, the week before, I've been
scrambling eggs. I have been toasting up some nice bread.
I have been slicing the avocado and sweet potato whatever
(16:45):
it is, and putting the food on a plate and
making it look pretty, grabbing a knife and a fork,
sitting down and eating it. Have I just revolutionized? Have
I broken Internet? Yet? Like sitting down and enjoying a
nice breakfast that I have cooked and made for myself
(17:07):
that you know, follows all of my dieticians requirements for
protein and fiber. You're welcome. I'm doing it. And that
has been small and yet so significant. And while I'm eating,
I'm trying to avoid the phone, and I'm just thinking
nice thoughts about myself, and ah, man, I'm a little
(17:29):
bit self conscious because it's like, girl, this is not groundbreaking.
But at the same time, it just wasn't happening. I
just wasn't giving myself that time in that space. And
so once I had my breakfast and my little coffee,
I would not immediately take myself upstairs to the office
to start producing. I would turn on a podcast. If
(17:51):
I hadn't taken a shower. I would take a little shower,
and I might even I don't want to, I don't
want to scarey all. I might even sit on the
couch and watch Greape British Bakeoff it might have happened,
and specifically Great British Bakeoff and specifically reruns. I need
something low steaks, I mean no steaks, and comforting and
(18:13):
cozy and sweet and just something that I could enjoy.
And for me, that comfort show has been GBBO. I
love you, Alison Hammond. You are a freaking goddess and
it was the best stroke of genius those producers ever
had to hire you. If you don't know who Alison
Hammond is, she is a h K queen. But her
(18:35):
presence across the pond like she is a star, and
the way that she shines light you know, in that tent,
I am sounding so corny right now that she has
been such a light for me and I love her
to death and I hope I get to meet her
someday and get her the biggest huck. She's so amazing.
So slowing down in the morning, nourishing myself and then
nourishing myself throughout the day, like actually thoughtfully putting together
(19:00):
meals for myself. Again. I am sleeping better now, so
I have a little bit more energy for that type
of thing. But even when I wasn't sleeping well, I
started to see a dietitian. And I'm in this medical
weight loss program through a medical practice. I'm not doing
it by myself, and I have tons of support. I
see an endocrinologist, I have a dietitian. There's all the
(19:24):
support staff there. So I started that, I don't know,
a couple months ago. And so even before the sleep,
which was a really key component, I was already starting
to prepare more nutritious food for myself and hope that
would make me feel better, and it really has been working.
So nourishing myself, nurturing myself, slow and soft, these are
(19:49):
some of the words I wanted to share with y'all.
Also support, supports of Really these are all S words.
Is there something there are five s's of my survival?
I don't know, but supports. I hired a cleaning service.
I have been on and off with cleaning services and
for the past year have not had one, mostly because
(20:10):
I was in that functional paralysis of that anxiety can
cause I just the executive function to like vet cleaning
services and have them come over and think about how
much are they going to pay? And y'all know, we
got to clean up before they come so they don't
think that we're trash. And the organization of my house
is just out of control. So that executive function to
(20:34):
do that, it just was too much with everything else
I had going on. And I'm really proud that with
these small changes to sleep, the nurturing, the softness, I
was able to clear my mind enough to tackle that.
And it's been a month now. I've had cleanings every
two weeks and I'm going to continue that. So that's
(20:55):
five hundred dollars per month that I am budgeting for now.
Home Boys meeting my children and my husband, they already
know we're eating out less. We are going to be
cutting back wherever we got to cut back so that
we can afford that. Because it's already transforming just everything.
(21:15):
Everyone's mental health is benefiting from it. My little boy
is so excited to come home off the bus when
he knows the cleaning team has been here. He's like, Ooh,
I wonder what they're going to what arrangement they're going
to make with my twelve thousand stuffies you know, this time,
and it's really nice. Y'all. Know, I had been going
to doctor's appointments and making those appointments for myself. Another
thing that you know, was really painful about the depression
(21:39):
I was going through was how it would lie to
me and tell me that I was too toxic. I
talked about this, that I was too toxic and too
negative and my vibes were off and I should pretty
much just withdraw from, you know, my friendships and you know,
the close relationships that I have. And once I you know,
opened up about what I was going through, and I had,
(22:02):
of course friends and family reach out to check on
me I and asked me what they could do. I
told them I was like, you know, to be honest,
I think I just want like a friend date. I
think I just want to meet up for a coffee
or go for like I want. And I live like
far away from a lot of my friends who would
(22:22):
live in Brooklyn. To be honest, I live about an
hour and a half if you're driving or taking the train,
and that's without traffic. So it's not easy to ask
them to come and it's not easy for me to
get to them either, especially you know, when I have
a short day before I got to turn into a
super mom. So scheduling some friendship dates has been one
(22:45):
of the you know things that I've done. You know,
nothing crazy, nothing high pressure. And I have two friendship
dates scheduled, actually three, I have three scheduled for November,
and I'm very excited. Yes, listen, when you're in your
thirty y'all know, when you're in your thirties and forties,
(23:05):
you got you got complex lives. It's I'm sorry, like
we have to pull out a calendar. It just has
like there's no casual let's just you know, hey, you
want to do this, No it's not happening, Like why
put yourself to the disappointment. Just get out the calendar,
like cross reference, pick a date that works, and that's
how you're going to make those plans. That's just how
it's got to happen. But I'm very much looking forward
(23:26):
to that. And yeah, also Christmas is starting November first.
When I hear the high note from Mariah Carey, the
decorations are coming out. We are romanticizing, you know, even
though this weekend, like Daylight Savings time I think ends
this weekend. Like and you know, if you get the
dark and drearies, especially if you're in the north, like,
(23:49):
we gotta do what we gotta do to romanticize this wintertime.
So a dear friend of mine, I'm going to go
over to her place and we are going to decorate.
We're gonna pull out her stuff out of storage. We're
gonna start there. I'm going to bake some cookies. Christmas
season is upon us, so hopefully that will spark some joy.
And again just be we're not being crazy about it.
(24:10):
We're not gonna like set some crazy goal and take
on a huge, ambitious decoration project and try to expect
us to achieve all of that while chasing around our
three kids. And hell no, but we are just gonna enjoy,
you know, light a little balsam for Christmas tree, candle,
turn some you know, put some lights up, make some cookies,
(24:32):
have some cider, and just enjoy. So looking forward to that,
all right, That is I think everything so far from
my life and wellness update, and again, thank y'all so much.
I'm going to take a little break and I'm going
to come back and we're gonna talk about some actual
like news headlines and a little bit of work and
business updates for y'all. All right, stick around, BA fan, Hey,
(24:58):
BA fan, welcome back to this show. So I want
to switch it up and talk about a couple of
business ye updates for y'all. So the first one is
that the brand Ambition book is still happening. In fact,
I met with my publisher last week in person at
the Hashet offices. I went, I love going to that building.
(25:20):
And for me to get on a train and go
into the city, that was a huge That was a
huge turning point for me, just to feeling back to
in a good place mentally. Like I got in the train,
I left, I went to New York, and I let
myself romanticize walking into my publisher's big building and being
amongst the stacks of books and the you know, the
beautiful book fairies who are creating magic. And while I
(25:44):
was there, I was, first of all, I was there
just to say hi to my publisher. I did not
expect her to say, Hey, come on in this office
real quick. I have something to show you. She showed
me book covers, y'all, Brown Ambition book covers and there's
six that I am I'm choosing between, and I need
y'all's help. So what I decided to do, and I
(26:05):
don't think anyone else really does this, like asks their
community to help them pick a book cover. But why not,
Like I'm making this book for y'all and put them
doing it for y'all. You've been a part of the journey,
so help me choose the cover. So what I'm won't
do is, y'all, if you're not a part of the
brand ambition Patreon, sign up for free, and I'm going
to be posting this week the six covers that I
(26:29):
am maybe three. I don't want to overwhelm y'all. Three
to six covers that I'm going to be choosing between,
and y'all can vote, and I'm going to take your
votes into consideration because I got to get back to
my publisher next week with my selection. How amazing is that? Like?
When I saw those covers, I honestly I was a
little I was very afraid because I've heard some kind
of like horror stories about people not liking their covers.
(26:51):
I wasn't sure if the publisher was going to agree
that I should be on the cover. I felt strongly
that I should be, because you know, it's Brown Ambition,
it's my show and all that, and I'm going to
let y'all check them out for yourselves. But I was
pleasantly surprised. I was more than pleasantly surprised. I was
very emotional about it and just really excited. So patreon
(27:14):
dot com slash Brown Ambition to vote on the Brown
Ambition book cover and get ready, y'all, because it's coming
out a year from now. The book will be on
shelves and I can't quite believe that because obviously I'm
still working on the manuscript, but it's happening. And to
make it happen and to get the manuscript across the
finish line, I one found an editor to help me
(27:37):
with the developmental side of things. I actually reached back
out to a professor from my alma mater who's going
to be helping me with that. So that's amazing just
to get it over the finish line. And I'm also
I've pretty much stacked the podcast for the next few weeks,
so I think I'll be able to devote most of
my days to writing, which is really great. So shout
(27:57):
out to me for accomplishing that, and I was thinking
of what I could do a little bit differently business wise.
I'm not going to have as much bandwidth for one
on one coaching for a while. I'm not going to
be taking on new VIP coaching clients. You know, I
was meeting one on one every week for twelve weeks
with those clients. So while I'm finishing the book, I
(28:18):
can't do that, but I thought I would. Y'all know
the Negotiation masterclass, Nail Your Negotiation. It's my five step
framework to becoming an incredible negotiator in your nine to five.
I had always done that as a webinar in the past,
but I've actually taken that webinar and I've turned it
into a free, yes, free mini course, and I've put
(28:40):
that up at Mandy money dot com. Or you can
go to Nail your Negotiation dot com. Nail Nail your
Negotiation dot com. You can get the free mini course.
It's my masterclass that I think hundreds, if not thousands
of people have taken and has five star review and
was so fun to do. And I haven't really been
(29:03):
able to do the free webinar, so why not turn
it into a free mini course that you can download
and you can complete it at your leisure. So again,
check that out at nail at yournegotiation dot com. Oh wait,
I totally forgot the Mandy Moneymakers community. So this is
my group coaching community. We get together every other week.
I lead these coaching sessions where we share what's happening
(29:26):
in our careers. We get support. You know, you can
run ideas past the community and we'll hold help keep
you accountable to the goals that you're setting for yourself,
but honestly just give you a soft place to land
because we're all going through so much. Enrollment for the
Mandy Moneymaker's Community is now open. The deadline to enroll
is going to be November thirtieth, and you can find
(29:48):
out all the details about how to enroll at mandymoney
dot com slash community. I will put the full details
in the show notes for that as well. I really
hope to see all there. Hope is that by January
we'll have a fresh lot of fresh new faces in
the community and just give it a new breath of
(30:09):
fresh air. I'm very excited about that. All right, that
is the working business update. Now let's get into what's
happening in the world the government shut down. Have I
mentioned to y'all, So my husband works for the federal government.
This man has been showing up to work for a
month with no pay, and not just that, but now
(30:29):
they're making him show up for this like crazy ten
hour special overtime shift to support other agencies. And it's
just it's, you know, I'm just like, first you're not
paying my man, and now you're taking away my partner
from the evenings, so I got to put these two
kids to bed by myself days after like days in
a row. Like this is some real beat us. And
(30:51):
although you can say, okay, well, the millions of federal
workers who are working without pay right now typically will
get reimbursed, you're also having situations where this administration is
using this as an excuse to lay off thousands of
workers over four thousand federal workers as a result of
(31:11):
this shutdown, as a way to identify more areas to cut,
which is like diabolical. Thank goodness. The most recent update
is that a federal judge shout out to our judicial
system for still doing the damn thing and protecting us
from these shenanigans. A federal judge just this week actually
has indefinitely blocked the administration from carrying out these layoffs
(31:35):
they were going to be heading again over four thousand
workers at agencies like the Health and Human Services, Housing
and Urban Development, Department of Education. Y'all know they don't
f with education in this country and have been trying
to slash So for now those four thousand plus workers
can rest easy. But I mean only to a certain
(31:57):
extent because again this judicial system, so y'all know what
can happen. These things can then get challenged at the
Supreme Court level. Now, the unfortunate thing is, y'all know
that the Supreme Court is not stacked in the favor
of sanity. It is stacked with a very conservative pro
Trump agenda. I don't care what you're trying to say
about how judges are impartial. The Supreme Court has been compromised.
(32:22):
But for now, at least these workers are safe. And
on top of that, like the politicization of social safety
nets is always just like makes my blood boil. And
the latest example of that is that the SNAP benefit
program is going to be expiring November first, because Congress
has not been able to agree on a budget. One
(32:44):
in eight Americans. Something like forty two million Americans rely
on benefits to help them buy their groceries. On November first,
those cards will not be loaded with funds. This program
is run by the US Department and IF Agriculture, and
actually on their website it has the most sickening, the
(33:04):
most sickening text on the website. It says this giant
like maroon rectangular box that takes up the entire screen
USDA dot gov. It says Senate Democrats have now voted
twelve times to not run the food stamp program. Bottom line,
the well has run dry at this time. There will
be no benefits issued November first. We are approaching an
(33:27):
inflection point for Senate Democrats. They can continue to hold
out for healthcare for illegal aliens and gender mutilation procedures,
or reopen the government so mothers, babies, and the most
vulnerable among us can receive critical nutrition assistance. Oh god,
(33:49):
it's sickening, it's disgusting, And the fact that it's like,
let's have a common enemy and make them the Democrats
is such a cop out and honestly not a surprise
at all, except for it to be so blatant on
a government website. It's sickening, it's it's not at all
what we stand for, what I thought we stood for.
It's a hot mess, and it may even be illegal.
(34:12):
We've already seen we've seen state attorney generals from several
states actually sue the White House, sue the Trump administration
over the over THENAP benefit program being unfunded. So because
there is actually something that they could do, they could
make an exception, they could find the nine billion dollars
(34:33):
to actually keep this program in effect, and they're just
choosing not to. And they're doing it because they want
to turn us against this so called enemy, the Democrats,
and to make themselves look better. Right, if you're listening
to this and you are personally affected by this, or
you know someone who is and you are going to
need help, you know, putting the food on the table.
In the meantime, I do want to encourage you to
(34:54):
check with your local state governments. Many states have come
out and said that they are going to fund this
with state dollars. And then also you can check out
feeding America dot com, which can connect you to food
banks in your area. You just put in your zip
code and so hopefully you know, while this is all
getting ironed out, and who knows when the hell Congress
will get it together, and you know the White House
(35:17):
will get it together. But in the meantime, there are
resources and help for y'all. And if you are struggling
and you need help from the broad Ambition community, you know,
send me a DM, send us a message broad Ambition
Podcast at gmail dot com, or hit me up on
Instagram at Brown Ambition Podcast on IG. I really want
to hear from y'all, especially if you're being impacted by this.
(35:40):
I just want to say also, I'm really sorry, and
my heart goes out to y'all. It's it's just, there's
no way to say it. Just it just sucks. It
sucks to be using human beings and at the same
time using human beings for political gain for you know,
political to be a political football at a time when
it's hard enough, but then to have families can't afford
(36:00):
groceries because of what's happening in Washington is honestly despicable
and anyone who's responsible for this should clearly be ashamed
of themselves. Truly, while this is all happening, and that
the Trump is first of all, he's watching the World
Series in Japan. He ain't even worried about what's happening
in his own country. He's all, you know, traveling the world.
(36:20):
He's trying to celebrate this so called ceasefire with Israel
that actually lasted like what point five seconds before they
were again killing Palestinians, like what they are demolishing. Have
you all seen demolishing the East wing of the White
House to build a three hundred million dollar ballroom. You
(36:41):
can't make this shit up, okay, And that's not the
disgusting part. And actually I found this out because my
mother texted me. She was, like, she texted me because
one of my conservative relatives from Georgia had posted, like,
you know, in defense of Trump saying, well, this is
not even going to be paid for by American tax
pair dollars. And so I'm doing my research for the show,
(37:02):
and you know what, to my relative and Georgia, you're right, honey,
it's not being funded by taxpayer dollars. You know who
is funding it, Big corporations. You're Amazon's, your Meta, your
crypto bo boys, the same people, the CEOs of all
those big companies that showed up to his inaugural and
(37:22):
we wondered what that could mean and what they would
be showing up to kiss up to him for. Well,
now we're seeing it. This is pure political pay to play. Okay,
So here's the list provided by the White House. We
have Amazon, Apple, Booze, Alan, Hamilton, Caterpillar, Inc. Coinbase, Comcast,
hard Rock International, Google, HP, Lockheed Martin's, Meta, Microsoft, Pallunteer, Ripple,
(37:50):
T Mobile. I'll give you all the full list in
the show notes. But these these companies, these billionaires are
clearly paying and donating to this ridiculous project because they're
hoping for more favorable policies, regulations, and tax terms so
that they can further enrich themselves. It could not be
(38:10):
more obvious, and in fact, in some cases, Trump has
literally said, I will settle lawsuits against you if you
just donate million dollars to the building of this ballroom.
I mean companies like Meta Google, they actually rely a
lot on government contracts for their revenue. And in fact,
Google and YouTube, which it owns, they were one of
(38:31):
the companies that contributed to this ballroom. They paid twenty
two million dollars in order to settle a lawsuit that
Trump had levied after they suspended him from the platform
after January sixth. So the companies that suspended Trump from
their platforms after he incited a riot on January sixth
are now paying twenty two million dollars to build him
(38:55):
a party room, to build him a three hundred million
dollar karaoke palace, Like, what is happening? This is what
we like these companies, these corporations, Like they don't stand
on business. They don't stand on nothing. They stand on profits,
They stand on their own survival. They stand on covering
(39:16):
their own mega mansion bills and paying for their own
private jets, Like that's what they care about. They can
make these public displays of supporting democracy like taking Trump
off with their platforms one second, and then completely pivot
once there's a power shift, and once they now have
to kiss the ring to get what they need to
again make sure that their lights stay on and that
(39:38):
they're taking care of right. So it's just yeah, again gross,
very gross. But speaking of companies who are getting their
come up, ince, first of all, I don't want to
ever get excited about people losing their jobs. Like, at
the end of the day, this economy is hard to tell.
I don't want to celebrate that, but Target continues to
(39:58):
suffer at the of the brave consumers myself included, who
have been boycotting them ever since they started to roll
back their DEI policies at the beginning of this year,
and the latest news is that they are laying off
eighteen hundred employees and have announced plans for this eight
percent layoff and generally have been struggling with stagnant sales
(40:21):
and these boycotts. Now, to be fair, Target was struggling
even before we started to boycott them, but it clearly
isn't helping. So nice to see in some ways that
our efforts to vote with our dollars and to use
our collective power as consumers can work. My heart does
(40:41):
go out to the employees at Target who are going
to be losing their jobs as a result of this.
At the same time, I'm holding two truths at a time,
Like I feel badly for the people who are losing
their jobs. I hope that they can quickly find more work.
I did read that Target's offering severance packages, and so
I hope that'll be taken care of while they make
(41:01):
the transition to a new job opportunity. But also like
this is, you know, also tied to a really successful
boycott and a successful collective action and you know, community
that's gotten together and we've agreed we're not ethm with
this company. So I want to see I just want
to like celebrate that and I want to say that,
(41:24):
you know, we did that, we are doing that, and
I think we just need to expand that and do
it for more companies than just Target. But in the meantime,
nice to see that in some ways it's working all right.
And lastly, what y'all use AI to help you finish
your end of year performance reviews? I was listening to
the news earlier and they were saying that JP Morgan Chase,
(41:47):
with its three hundred thousand employees, is actually encouraging employees
to use chases. But I guess they have a bespoke
internal AI platform. They're encouraging employees to actually use that
platform to help write their performance reviews. And that got
me thinking, would you use AI for your performance review?
(42:07):
And honestly, I would be surprised if y'all weren't using
AI for your performance review? Who wants to do it? Without?
Like it can make things so much simpler? AI can't
write your performance review for you. There's no way it can.
It can glean just from what Internet sources what you
personally have done and accomplished and contributed for the past year.
(42:27):
But it can definitely be a thought partner, and for
anyone who's like staring at those internal systems, like you're
in workday or whatever it is, and you're trying to
quantify your contributions for the year, and you start to
just like your eyes glaze over and you're like, oh Lord,
what am I gonna What am I going to write?
I could really see AI being a helpful tool, and
(42:47):
I think that it can be a thought partner. It
can help you kind of like streamline your thoughts and
make your assessment really clear and focus on things that matter.
So here's something to consider if you're going to use
AI for your performance review. You know, give it a
give it a little bit of a spiel, like say, like,
give it a brain dump. Here's everything I've done the
past year, you know, focus on here's my title, here
(43:10):
are my main responsibilities. If you have KPIs or objectives
you were meant to hit this year, tell the AI
about that. Tell the AI what your biggest wins are
you know, talk about projects that you've led, also anything
that's quantifiable, like how much revenue was generated, how many
customers did you serve? Like did you improve any processes?
(43:31):
Did you save any time? And if you're struggling with
even quantifying what you've achieved, I think AI can also
help you there. So you can even tell it what
you've done and then ask for ideas on how you
can quantify these in a meaningful way that will stand out.
You can talk about like, Okay, here are the skills
and things that I've grown over the past year. You
(43:52):
can ask the AI to help you sort of put
together a little blurb about just the impact of your work.
You know, has your work benefited the team you work
with or your company at large? Have you mentored anyone
or helped your colleagues? You know, what feedback have you
gotten from your peers, your managers, your clients, and like
areas of growth that you may have. You can also
(44:14):
ask the AI to help you kind of tease that out.
And I think using it as a thought partner makes
a lot of sense. So I want to hear from
y'all though, BA Fan, are you going to use AI
for your performance reviews. Are you is it like, do
you think this is like ethical? Unethical? What I mean
at this point if there, I feel like managers are
(44:35):
going to use AI right, like they'd be crazy not
to as well. So why shouldn't we be using AI
as well to give ourselves the best shot at getting
a great performance review? And you know that directly ties
to your dollars. You want to get that raise, that bonus,
you want it to be good, right, Iva fan, That's
all I got for you this week. Thank you so
much for listening to Brown Ambition. Don't forget to check
(44:56):
the show notes for all the resources. The freebie I
talked about joining the Mandy Moneymaker's community, It's all going
to be in the show notes again. Thank you so
so much for the support and for all the love,
and I will see y'all real soon. Thank you. Take care.
If you want the full discussion, if you want the
full breakdown of what I've been doing just to cope
with this really challenging time, you can go to Patreon
(45:19):
Patreon dot com slash Brown Ambition. I'm going to put
the full mental health update and also share a lot
more in depth about some of the strategies that I've
been using just to better cope with all have that
has been going on, just in the interest of time,
because there is so much to cover on today's show
and a lot of things that impact everybody, not just me.
So I want to do that again. At patreon dot
(45:41):
com slash brown Ambition, it's totally free to join our Patreon.
If you want to take it a step up and
become a paid member, you can check out all the
benefits there, but again, just to join for free. I
hope to see y'all there. Hey ba, fam, let's be
real for a second, and y'all know I keep it
(46:02):
a book. The job market has been brutal, now not
brutal trash, especially for women of color. Over three hundred
thousand of us have disappeared from the workforce this year alone,
and not by choice, but because of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs,
and stagnant wages that keep cutting us out of opportunity.
Our unemployment rate has jumped to over seven percent, while
(46:25):
our pay gap continues to widen. I know all of
that sounds dire, but here's what I want y'all to know.
You do not have to wait for the system to
save you. That's exactly why I created the Mandy money
Makers group coaching community. It is a coaching community that
is built for us by us. Inside the community, we're
not just talking about how to negotiate or to how
(46:46):
to get the job that you want. It's about finding
purpose in your career. It's about finding communities and others,
feeling seen, feeling heard, and also having a sounding board
and a mirror to reflect your own magic, your own
sparkle right back to yourself. In this community, you'll get
group coaching led by me, but you also get peer
(47:07):
to peer accountability with proven tools and resources that can
help you do what we have always done since rise.
Even when the odds are stacked against us, despite all
the challenges, we will rise. If you're interested in joining
the Mandy money Makers community and having that support to
bolster you and help you tap back into your magic
(47:30):
so that you can lead your career with intention and
heart and your own intuition, trusting that again, please join us.
You can find information in the show notes of today's episodes,
or go to mandymoney dot com slash community. That's Mandy
m A n d I money dot com slash community.
(47:50):
I would love to see y'all there. Enrollment is open,
so please go check out mandymoney dot com slash community
today
Hey, ba fam, let's be real for a second, and
y'all know I keep it a book. The job market
has been brutal, now not brutal trash, especially for women
of color. Over three hundred thousand of us have disappeared
from the workforce this year alone, and not by choice,
but because of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs, and stagnant wages
(00:20):
that keep cutting us out of opportunity. Our unemployment rate
has jumped to over seven percent, while our pay gap
continues to widen. I know all of that sounds dire,
but here's what I want y'all to know. You do
not have to wait for the system to save you.
That's exactly why I created the Mandy money Makers Group
coaching community. It is a coaching community that is built
(00:41):
for us by us. Inside the community, we're not just
talking about how to negotiate or to how to get
the job that you want. It's about finding purpose in
your career. It's about finding communities and others, feeling seen,
feeling heard, and also having a sounding board and a
mirror to reflect your own magic, your own sparkle right
(01:03):
back to yourself. In this community, you'll get group coaching
led by me, but you also get peer to peer
accountability with proven tools and resources that can help you
do what we have always done since rise. Even when
the odds are stacked against us, despite all the challenges,
we will rise. If you're interested in joining the Mandy
(01:24):
money Makers community and having that support to bolster you
and help you tap back into your magic so that
you can lead your career with intention and heart and
your own intuition, trusting that again, please join us. You
can find information in the show notes of today's episodes,
or go to mandymoney dot com slash community. That's Mandy
(01:47):
m A n d I money dot com slash community.
I would love to see y'all there. Enrollment is open,
so please go check out mandymoney dot com slash community today. Hey, hey,
ba fam, it's your girl, Mandy Money. How y'all doing?
(02:10):
How are we doing? It's been a journey these past
couple of weeks. It's been two weeks now since I
came out of the depression closet. And I keep saying that,
even though it's a confusing expression and I probably shouldn't
say closet, but since I took off the mask, I'll
say that and opened up about my lifelong battle or
(02:32):
war whatever against depression and anxiety, and I gotta be honest,
I completely avoided social media for about forty eight hours
after that episode went live, and especially social media, because
I went back and forth over whether to clip the
show and put a little bit of a preview on
Instagram and TikTok. And the reason I almost didn't was
(02:54):
because I just know there's lots of people who will
look at that thirty second or sixty second clip and
they won't actually listen to the full episode. And that
whole episode was meant to be really a letter to
my BA fam, to my listeners, to this incredible community
who will actually be tuning in and listening with a
(03:14):
whole heart and open mind to the full story. And
I really wanted that whole message to get out there,
but I did. I put a little clippy clip, and
you know, often, like I said, depression is a liar,
anxiety is a liar. And there really was nothing to fear.
There was only oh God, all right, don't get emotional already,
(03:37):
mess girl. There were just open arms and open hearts
and a mountain of compassion, a wave of compassion, just
some giant land form of compassion, compassion, compassion from y'all,
and I take that compassion and I open these arms
and I just give it right back to y'all. Because
(03:59):
if there's one thing that's a parent from sharing a
little bit about my story, and the beauty of that
is that I've gotten to hear from y'all as well.
I'm not just talking into the abyss. Y'all get to
respond and to share your stories. So to everyone who
has emailed and sent me dms, I just checked my
DMS today and I was like, oh, let me go
(04:20):
into the hidden you know, the folder where if someone
is in a contact like the messages will get kind
of shoved over there. And I saw ten other messages
that I hadn't read yet, and the tears started to
well in a beautiful way. And I just want y'all
to know that I see you, and I'm linking arms
(04:41):
with y'all, and it's okay not to be okay. And
at the same time, I just wanted y'all to know
that I'm gonna be okay. I know we all are.
We're going to be okay. And then I think what
also is helpful is to recognize that we're not going
to be okay sometimes, and that just because we're not
(05:01):
okay sometimes doesn't negate all the wonderful you know, moments
of brightness and happiness and things are really like cooking
with Crisco and things are working out, and it's just
all it's all part of the whole package, right of
just existing. So thank y'all for seeing me and my
(05:21):
humanity and for still showing up and supporting the show,
because at the end of the day, I do it
for y'all every day. Ba fam. So I wanted to
update y'all because some of the things that I talked
about when talking about depression was that it's really taken
a hold of me in pretty much every form, and
(05:43):
it seeped into every aspect of my whole wellness as
a person, as a human. It's affecting my health, it's
affecting my mental health certainly, it's affecting my relationships. And
one of the biggest challenges I've had because of the
mental health challenges has been the impact to my sleep
(06:06):
and the way that those two have been linked together
is with depression and anxiety, I have gained and with motherhood,
I've gained a lot of weight, and one of the
symptoms of wake gain for me has been severe sleep apnea.
I finally went to my doctor in the spring to
talk to her about my concern that I might have
(06:27):
sleep apnea. Several people in my immediate family have had
sleep apnea, and I was having all the signs migraines,
waking up with a dry mouth, never being fully rested,
always fatigued, the way I was guzzling lattes, y'all, and
oh my goodness, four sometimes six shots of espresso a day,
(06:48):
still not feeling well and you know, feeling like I'd
wake up in the middle of the night with short
of breath and not able to really get comfortable. So
classic signs, right. It took me six months to get
that sleep study. I went to my and this is
a good example of when you advocate for yourself and
still the freaking healthcare system really sucks sometimes. And I
(07:09):
guess there's a lot of people trying to get sleep
studies because your girl could not get an appointment until
late September, and then I actually ended up getting one
early September because I got on a cancelation list, so
saved myself a few weeks but long, long story, short
is that I I'm the proud owner of a seapap machine.
(07:29):
Hell yeah, and proud and it is now it's now
day well, it's day seven. Night I had my sixth
night in a row. I might get emotional talking about this,
because that is how debilitating that lack of sleep has been, y'all.
Sixth night in a row, I have slept. I have
slept well, and I got used to it, you know.
(07:52):
I was like, we won't make this work, this mask,
And I'm just really really feeling hopeful because I knew
that once I would sleep, once I could actually like
recharge and heal my body and like you know, go
through that really important process that like sleep is a
very fundamental function of the human body for survival. Once
(08:13):
I could have that again, that I'd start to feel
a lot better. And it's it's happening. So I'm so grateful.
And if this seems like something that you're struggling with too,
I hope that you'll go to your doctor and talk
to them. A lot of y'all also asked me and
raise my awareness of oh that could this be perimenopause.
(08:35):
I'm thirty eight years old and I'm in that season
right where Perry might be coming for me, and and
how that also one of the symptoms of perimenopause is
not being able to sleep and having that like disruption
to your sleep. In my case, it seems to be
the sleep apnea is the is the beast here. But
(08:58):
I heard y'all and I'm listening, and it has been
a while since I've gone to the guyano, and I'm
going to make an appointment just to just to start,
you know, tackling that as well, because it could be
any day now Parry's coming for me. And let me
tell you, I'm going to be like, give me all
the hormones, like, shoot me up, what you got, you know,
I'm just trying to function, so when that happens for me,
(09:22):
you know, I'll also try to stay on top of that.
So sleep, oh sleep the cure in so many ways.
So I'm just really grateful to be getting some good
rest and it's already changing so much. I'm not exhausted
by two pm. I'm not even kidding you. By two pm,
it would feel like midnight. And that's right when my
(09:42):
little boy would get off the school bus and I
would have to you know, drag myself through the next
eight hours and really try to, you know, just be
there for him and to be present and do all things.
But being so exhausted and just really really grateful that
things are getting better there, I've also made some real
(10:06):
concerted effort. I also want to talk about a couple
of words that have been kind of pingponging around my
mind lately. Well, not ping ponging, not that aggressive, more
like you know that old screensaver with the little bar
that would kind of drift from one corner of your
screen to the next, but it would never fully like
(10:27):
get in the corner and you just kind of follow that.
You'd have to really be an elder millennial to get
this reference, I feel like, but slowly I have been
thinking about these these concepts and trying to implement them
into my life just to make things more manageable. It's
made me feel better. And so one of them is slow.
(10:51):
The other one is soft, and I'll talk about that
for a moment. I actually just took a little breathing
break because I could feel myself getting a little ahead
of my like my mind moving faster, and I'm really
trying to slow down these days. Slowing down and being
soft with myself are two things that when I'm in
(11:15):
a healthy state of mind and when I'm all right,
I know how the importance of that, and I can
I can offer those things to myself, you know, slowness
and softness. But when I was in such a heightened
state of anxiety and depression at the same time, doing doing,
doing felt like what I had to do. I felt
(11:35):
like I needed to be doing more, working harder. If
I can't sleep all night, well then why bother get
up earlier, you know, don't let the weight of anxiety
and depression stop me. Right, I have a business to run,
I have people relying on me. I've got to get
(11:56):
up and make this work. And so I would force
myself to move when and force myself to move and
tell myself that that's the way that you accomplish these
big goals that you have. I am very ambitious, and
y'all know I'm working on my book, and I have
this business, and of course I had the podcast, and
(12:19):
I want to be a present mother, and producing and
doing it felt like the way to push through that
if I just kept moving that I would start feeling better,
because these elements of my life would start be would
start being better. You know, the business wouldn't feel so
(12:39):
out of my control because I would be more on
top of things, and the podcast, I would feel like
I had more of a handle on the schedule and
the production of it and the booking and all that.
If I was just more on top of it. And
you know, the book, the book has to get done.
I have these huge edits on my manuscript that are
due and I've got to you know, work around clock
(13:00):
to get those done. And what I was doing, by
doing and pushing myself and trying to push through was well,
was actually, in a lot of ways stopping myself from
accomplishing those things. I was really sabotaging myself. And because
I was in the thick of that anxiety. And I've
talked about how, you know, depressions a liar, anxiety is
a liar. I wasn't able to see. I didn't have
(13:23):
that clarity to say, you know what you need to do,
stop slow stop, be slow slow down. And it's really
hard because I'll speak for myself, you're running in place
like I was really pushing, pushing, pushing, but I was
(13:45):
getting literally nowhere that will drive you insane really quickly.
And ever since that episode came out, I and I'm
in therapy as well, and so talk to my therapist
about just implementing some small acts of slowness and acts
of softness that I can introduce to really take care
(14:08):
of myself and to just practice compassion for myself. And
I full on have been babying myself for the past
two weeks. And when I say babying, I really have
had to say, like, if this were my little one
and he was feeling this way, what would Mama do?
And Mama would make sure that he was cozy and
(14:32):
comforted and really just focusing on what he could do
to start feeling better. I would make sure that he
ate well, I would make sure that we were doing
things that you know, brought some joy, and I would
just really be a soft place to land. And I
am someone who's and I think a lot of y'all
(14:53):
can relate just you know, likes to produce and likes
to create and likes to make things and build things
and strive and achieve. I'm not the greatest at taking
care of myself and nourishing myself and nurturing myself and
that's really what I had to do. And you know,
you can sort of drive yourself crazy looking around like
(15:16):
who can I hire and like who should I get
to help me with this and to make me feel
better here? And it's like it can come from us,
Like we can give ourselves a break, we can nurture ourselves.
And the beginning it felt really into anti what's the
word counterintuitive? Counterproductive to slow down because these deadlines, these
(15:40):
big goals of mine, they're not going anywhere. I still
have them, and how can slowing down and stopping actually
get me there? Well, refueling and recharging my spirit, letting
my body rest and heal from over a year of
not sleeping and not being well taken care of, it's
only going to make me more capable of being productive,
(16:01):
but efficient with that productivity and not having it become
this toxic battle where I am just criticizing myself into
taking action. So what I've been doing is a couple
of things. I have looked at the mornings to be
my slow nourishing time, once the kids are out the
door at school, on the bus in daycare. I have
(16:24):
come home and I have made and I mean like cooked,
like made breakfast for myself, no grab and go, no
meal prep. The night before, the week before, I've been
scrambling eggs. I have been toasting up some nice bread.
I have been slicing the avocado and sweet potato whatever
(16:45):
it is, and putting the food on a plate and
making it look pretty, grabbing a knife and a fork,
sitting down and eating it. Have I just revolutionized? Have
I broken Internet? Yet? Like sitting down and enjoying a
nice breakfast that I have cooked and made for myself
(17:07):
that you know, follows all of my dieticians requirements for
protein and fiber. You're welcome. I'm doing it. And that
has been small and yet so significant. And while I'm eating,
I'm trying to avoid the phone, and I'm just thinking
nice thoughts about myself, and ah, man, I'm a little
(17:29):
bit self conscious because it's like, girl, this is not groundbreaking.
But at the same time, it just wasn't happening. I
just wasn't giving myself that time in that space. And
so once I had my breakfast and my little coffee,
I would not immediately take myself upstairs to the office
to start producing. I would turn on a podcast. If
(17:51):
I hadn't taken a shower. I would take a little shower,
and I might even I don't want to, I don't
want to scarey all. I might even sit on the
couch and watch Greape British Bakeoff it might have happened,
and specifically Great British Bakeoff and specifically reruns. I need
something low steaks, I mean no steaks, and comforting and
(18:13):
cozy and sweet and just something that I could enjoy.
And for me, that comfort show has been GBBO. I
love you, Alison Hammond. You are a freaking goddess and
it was the best stroke of genius those producers ever
had to hire you. If you don't know who Alison
Hammond is, she is a h K queen. But her
(18:35):
presence across the pond like she is a star, and
the way that she shines light you know, in that tent,
I am sounding so corny right now that she has
been such a light for me and I love her
to death and I hope I get to meet her
someday and get her the biggest huck. She's so amazing.
So slowing down in the morning, nourishing myself and then
nourishing myself throughout the day, like actually thoughtfully putting together
(19:00):
meals for myself. Again. I am sleeping better now, so
I have a little bit more energy for that type
of thing. But even when I wasn't sleeping well, I
started to see a dietitian. And I'm in this medical
weight loss program through a medical practice. I'm not doing
it by myself, and I have tons of support. I
see an endocrinologist, I have a dietitian. There's all the
(19:24):
support staff there. So I started that, I don't know,
a couple months ago. And so even before the sleep,
which was a really key component, I was already starting
to prepare more nutritious food for myself and hope that
would make me feel better, and it really has been working.
So nourishing myself, nurturing myself, slow and soft, these are
(19:49):
some of the words I wanted to share with y'all.
Also support, supports of Really these are all S words.
Is there something there are five s's of my survival?
I don't know, but supports. I hired a cleaning service.
I have been on and off with cleaning services and
for the past year have not had one, mostly because
(20:10):
I was in that functional paralysis of that anxiety can
cause I just the executive function to like vet cleaning
services and have them come over and think about how
much are they going to pay? And y'all know, we
got to clean up before they come so they don't
think that we're trash. And the organization of my house
is just out of control. So that executive function to
(20:34):
do that, it just was too much with everything else
I had going on. And I'm really proud that with
these small changes to sleep, the nurturing, the softness, I
was able to clear my mind enough to tackle that.
And it's been a month now. I've had cleanings every
two weeks and I'm going to continue that. So that's
(20:55):
five hundred dollars per month that I am budgeting for now.
Home Boys meeting my children and my husband, they already
know we're eating out less. We are going to be
cutting back wherever we got to cut back so that
we can afford that. Because it's already transforming just everything.
(21:15):
Everyone's mental health is benefiting from it. My little boy
is so excited to come home off the bus when
he knows the cleaning team has been here. He's like, Ooh,
I wonder what they're going to what arrangement they're going
to make with my twelve thousand stuffies you know, this time,
and it's really nice. Y'all. Know, I had been going
to doctor's appointments and making those appointments for myself. Another
thing that you know, was really painful about the depression
(21:39):
I was going through was how it would lie to
me and tell me that I was too toxic. I
talked about this, that I was too toxic and too
negative and my vibes were off and I should pretty
much just withdraw from, you know, my friendships and you know,
the close relationships that I have. And once I you know,
opened up about what I was going through, and I had,
(22:02):
of course friends and family reach out to check on
me I and asked me what they could do. I
told them I was like, you know, to be honest,
I think I just want like a friend date. I
think I just want to meet up for a coffee
or go for like I want. And I live like
far away from a lot of my friends who would
(22:22):
live in Brooklyn. To be honest, I live about an
hour and a half if you're driving or taking the train,
and that's without traffic. So it's not easy to ask
them to come and it's not easy for me to
get to them either, especially you know, when I have
a short day before I got to turn into a
super mom. So scheduling some friendship dates has been one
(22:45):
of the you know things that I've done. You know,
nothing crazy, nothing high pressure. And I have two friendship
dates scheduled, actually three, I have three scheduled for November,
and I'm very excited. Yes, listen, when you're in your
thirty y'all know, when you're in your thirties and forties,
(23:05):
you got you got complex lives. It's I'm sorry, like
we have to pull out a calendar. It just has
like there's no casual let's just you know, hey, you
want to do this, No it's not happening, Like why
put yourself to the disappointment. Just get out the calendar,
like cross reference, pick a date that works, and that's
how you're going to make those plans. That's just how
it's got to happen. But I'm very much looking forward
(23:26):
to that. And yeah, also Christmas is starting November first.
When I hear the high note from Mariah Carey, the
decorations are coming out. We are romanticizing, you know, even
though this weekend, like Daylight Savings time I think ends
this weekend. Like and you know, if you get the
dark and drearies, especially if you're in the north, like,
(23:49):
we gotta do what we gotta do to romanticize this wintertime.
So a dear friend of mine, I'm going to go
over to her place and we are going to decorate.
We're gonna pull out her stuff out of storage. We're
gonna start there. I'm going to bake some cookies. Christmas
season is upon us, so hopefully that will spark some joy.
And again just be we're not being crazy about it.
(24:10):
We're not gonna like set some crazy goal and take
on a huge, ambitious decoration project and try to expect
us to achieve all of that while chasing around our
three kids. And hell no, but we are just gonna enjoy,
you know, light a little balsam for Christmas tree, candle,
turn some you know, put some lights up, make some cookies,
(24:32):
have some cider, and just enjoy. So looking forward to that,
all right, That is I think everything so far from
my life and wellness update, and again, thank y'all so much.
I'm going to take a little break and I'm going
to come back and we're gonna talk about some actual
like news headlines and a little bit of work and
business updates for y'all. All right, stick around, BA fan, Hey,
(24:58):
BA fan, welcome back to this show. So I want
to switch it up and talk about a couple of
business ye updates for y'all. So the first one is
that the brand Ambition book is still happening. In fact,
I met with my publisher last week in person at
the Hashet offices. I went, I love going to that building.
(25:20):
And for me to get on a train and go
into the city, that was a huge That was a
huge turning point for me, just to feeling back to
in a good place mentally. Like I got in the train,
I left, I went to New York, and I let
myself romanticize walking into my publisher's big building and being
amongst the stacks of books and the you know, the
beautiful book fairies who are creating magic. And while I
(25:44):
was there, I was, first of all, I was there
just to say hi to my publisher. I did not
expect her to say, Hey, come on in this office
real quick. I have something to show you. She showed
me book covers, y'all, Brown Ambition book covers and there's
six that I am I'm choosing between, and I need
y'all's help. So what I decided to do, and I
(26:05):
don't think anyone else really does this, like asks their
community to help them pick a book cover. But why not,
Like I'm making this book for y'all and put them
doing it for y'all. You've been a part of the journey,
so help me choose the cover. So what I'm won't
do is, y'all, if you're not a part of the
brand ambition Patreon, sign up for free, and I'm going
to be posting this week the six covers that I
(26:29):
am maybe three. I don't want to overwhelm y'all. Three
to six covers that I'm going to be choosing between,
and y'all can vote, and I'm going to take your
votes into consideration because I got to get back to
my publisher next week with my selection. How amazing is that? Like?
When I saw those covers, I honestly I was a
little I was very afraid because I've heard some kind
of like horror stories about people not liking their covers.
(26:51):
I wasn't sure if the publisher was going to agree
that I should be on the cover. I felt strongly
that I should be, because you know, it's Brown Ambition,
it's my show and all that, and I'm going to
let y'all check them out for yourselves. But I was
pleasantly surprised. I was more than pleasantly surprised. I was
very emotional about it and just really excited. So patreon
(27:14):
dot com slash Brown Ambition to vote on the Brown
Ambition book cover and get ready, y'all, because it's coming
out a year from now. The book will be on
shelves and I can't quite believe that because obviously I'm
still working on the manuscript, but it's happening. And to
make it happen and to get the manuscript across the
finish line, I one found an editor to help me
(27:37):
with the developmental side of things. I actually reached back
out to a professor from my alma mater who's going
to be helping me with that. So that's amazing just
to get it over the finish line. And I'm also
I've pretty much stacked the podcast for the next few weeks,
so I think I'll be able to devote most of
my days to writing, which is really great. So shout
(27:57):
out to me for accomplishing that, and I was thinking
of what I could do a little bit differently business wise.
I'm not going to have as much bandwidth for one
on one coaching for a while. I'm not going to
be taking on new VIP coaching clients. You know, I
was meeting one on one every week for twelve weeks
with those clients. So while I'm finishing the book, I
(28:18):
can't do that, but I thought I would. Y'all know
the Negotiation masterclass, Nail Your Negotiation. It's my five step
framework to becoming an incredible negotiator in your nine to five.
I had always done that as a webinar in the past,
but I've actually taken that webinar and I've turned it
into a free, yes, free mini course, and I've put
(28:40):
that up at Mandy money dot com. Or you can
go to Nail your Negotiation dot com. Nail Nail your
Negotiation dot com. You can get the free mini course.
It's my masterclass that I think hundreds, if not thousands
of people have taken and has five star review and
was so fun to do. And I haven't really been
(29:03):
able to do the free webinar, so why not turn
it into a free mini course that you can download
and you can complete it at your leisure. So again,
check that out at nail at yournegotiation dot com. Oh wait,
I totally forgot the Mandy Moneymakers community. So this is
my group coaching community. We get together every other week.
I lead these coaching sessions where we share what's happening
(29:26):
in our careers. We get support. You know, you can
run ideas past the community and we'll hold help keep
you accountable to the goals that you're setting for yourself,
but honestly just give you a soft place to land
because we're all going through so much. Enrollment for the
Mandy Moneymaker's Community is now open. The deadline to enroll
is going to be November thirtieth, and you can find
(29:48):
out all the details about how to enroll at mandymoney
dot com slash community. I will put the full details
in the show notes for that as well. I really
hope to see all there. Hope is that by January
we'll have a fresh lot of fresh new faces in
the community and just give it a new breath of
(30:09):
fresh air. I'm very excited about that. All right, that
is the working business update. Now let's get into what's
happening in the world the government shut down. Have I
mentioned to y'all, So my husband works for the federal government.
This man has been showing up to work for a
month with no pay, and not just that, but now
(30:29):
they're making him show up for this like crazy ten
hour special overtime shift to support other agencies. And it's
just it's, you know, I'm just like, first you're not
paying my man, and now you're taking away my partner
from the evenings, so I got to put these two
kids to bed by myself days after like days in
a row. Like this is some real beat us. And
(30:51):
although you can say, okay, well, the millions of federal
workers who are working without pay right now typically will
get reimbursed, you're also having situations where this administration is
using this as an excuse to lay off thousands of
workers over four thousand federal workers as a result of
(31:11):
this shutdown, as a way to identify more areas to cut,
which is like diabolical. Thank goodness. The most recent update
is that a federal judge shout out to our judicial
system for still doing the damn thing and protecting us
from these shenanigans. A federal judge just this week actually
has indefinitely blocked the administration from carrying out these layoffs
(31:35):
they were going to be heading again over four thousand
workers at agencies like the Health and Human Services, Housing
and Urban Development, Department of Education. Y'all know they don't
f with education in this country and have been trying
to slash So for now those four thousand plus workers
can rest easy. But I mean only to a certain
(31:57):
extent because again this judicial system, so y'all know what
can happen. These things can then get challenged at the
Supreme Court level. Now, the unfortunate thing is, y'all know
that the Supreme Court is not stacked in the favor
of sanity. It is stacked with a very conservative pro
Trump agenda. I don't care what you're trying to say
about how judges are impartial. The Supreme Court has been compromised.
(32:22):
But for now, at least these workers are safe. And
on top of that, like the politicization of social safety
nets is always just like makes my blood boil. And
the latest example of that is that the SNAP benefit
program is going to be expiring November first, because Congress
has not been able to agree on a budget. One
(32:44):
in eight Americans. Something like forty two million Americans rely
on benefits to help them buy their groceries. On November first,
those cards will not be loaded with funds. This program
is run by the US Department and IF Agriculture, and
actually on their website it has the most sickening, the
(33:04):
most sickening text on the website. It says this giant
like maroon rectangular box that takes up the entire screen
USDA dot gov. It says Senate Democrats have now voted
twelve times to not run the food stamp program. Bottom line,
the well has run dry at this time. There will
be no benefits issued November first. We are approaching an
(33:27):
inflection point for Senate Democrats. They can continue to hold
out for healthcare for illegal aliens and gender mutilation procedures,
or reopen the government so mothers, babies, and the most
vulnerable among us can receive critical nutrition assistance. Oh god,
(33:49):
it's sickening, it's disgusting, And the fact that it's like,
let's have a common enemy and make them the Democrats
is such a cop out and honestly not a surprise
at all, except for it to be so blatant on
a government website. It's sickening, it's it's not at all
what we stand for, what I thought we stood for.
It's a hot mess, and it may even be illegal.
(34:12):
We've already seen we've seen state attorney generals from several
states actually sue the White House, sue the Trump administration
over the over THENAP benefit program being unfunded. So because
there is actually something that they could do, they could
make an exception, they could find the nine billion dollars
(34:33):
to actually keep this program in effect, and they're just
choosing not to. And they're doing it because they want
to turn us against this so called enemy, the Democrats,
and to make themselves look better. Right, if you're listening
to this and you are personally affected by this, or
you know someone who is and you are going to
need help, you know, putting the food on the table.
In the meantime, I do want to encourage you to
(34:54):
check with your local state governments. Many states have come
out and said that they are going to fund this
with state dollars. And then also you can check out
feeding America dot com, which can connect you to food
banks in your area. You just put in your zip
code and so hopefully you know, while this is all
getting ironed out, and who knows when the hell Congress
will get it together, and you know the White House
(35:17):
will get it together. But in the meantime, there are
resources and help for y'all. And if you are struggling
and you need help from the broad Ambition community, you know,
send me a DM, send us a message broad Ambition
Podcast at gmail dot com, or hit me up on
Instagram at Brown Ambition Podcast on IG. I really want
to hear from y'all, especially if you're being impacted by this.
(35:40):
I just want to say also, I'm really sorry, and
my heart goes out to y'all. It's it's just, there's
no way to say it. Just it just sucks. It
sucks to be using human beings and at the same
time using human beings for political gain for you know,
political to be a political football at a time when
it's hard enough, but then to have families can't afford
(36:00):
groceries because of what's happening in Washington is honestly despicable
and anyone who's responsible for this should clearly be ashamed
of themselves. Truly, while this is all happening, and that
the Trump is first of all, he's watching the World
Series in Japan. He ain't even worried about what's happening
in his own country. He's all, you know, traveling the world.
(36:20):
He's trying to celebrate this so called ceasefire with Israel
that actually lasted like what point five seconds before they
were again killing Palestinians, like what they are demolishing. Have
you all seen demolishing the East wing of the White
House to build a three hundred million dollar ballroom. You
(36:41):
can't make this shit up, okay, And that's not the
disgusting part. And actually I found this out because my
mother texted me. She was, like, she texted me because
one of my conservative relatives from Georgia had posted, like,
you know, in defense of Trump saying, well, this is
not even going to be paid for by American tax
pair dollars. And so I'm doing my research for the show,
(37:02):
and you know what, to my relative and Georgia, you're right, honey,
it's not being funded by taxpayer dollars. You know who
is funding it, Big corporations. You're Amazon's, your Meta, your
crypto bo boys, the same people, the CEOs of all
those big companies that showed up to his inaugural and
(37:22):
we wondered what that could mean and what they would
be showing up to kiss up to him for. Well,
now we're seeing it. This is pure political pay to play. Okay,
So here's the list provided by the White House. We
have Amazon, Apple, Booze, Alan, Hamilton, Caterpillar, Inc. Coinbase, Comcast,
hard Rock International, Google, HP, Lockheed Martin's, Meta, Microsoft, Pallunteer, Ripple,
(37:50):
T Mobile. I'll give you all the full list in
the show notes. But these these companies, these billionaires are
clearly paying and donating to this ridiculous project because they're
hoping for more favorable policies, regulations, and tax terms so
that they can further enrich themselves. It could not be
(38:10):
more obvious, and in fact, in some cases, Trump has
literally said, I will settle lawsuits against you if you
just donate million dollars to the building of this ballroom.
I mean companies like Meta Google, they actually rely a
lot on government contracts for their revenue. And in fact,
Google and YouTube, which it owns, they were one of
(38:31):
the companies that contributed to this ballroom. They paid twenty
two million dollars in order to settle a lawsuit that
Trump had levied after they suspended him from the platform
after January sixth. So the companies that suspended Trump from
their platforms after he incited a riot on January sixth
are now paying twenty two million dollars to build him
(38:55):
a party room, to build him a three hundred million
dollar karaoke palace, Like, what is happening? This is what
we like these companies, these corporations, Like they don't stand
on business. They don't stand on nothing. They stand on profits,
They stand on their own survival. They stand on covering
(39:16):
their own mega mansion bills and paying for their own
private jets, Like that's what they care about. They can
make these public displays of supporting democracy like taking Trump
off with their platforms one second, and then completely pivot
once there's a power shift, and once they now have
to kiss the ring to get what they need to
again make sure that their lights stay on and that
(39:38):
they're taking care of right. So it's just yeah, again gross,
very gross. But speaking of companies who are getting their
come up, ince, first of all, I don't want to
ever get excited about people losing their jobs. Like, at
the end of the day, this economy is hard to tell.
I don't want to celebrate that, but Target continues to
(39:58):
suffer at the of the brave consumers myself included, who
have been boycotting them ever since they started to roll
back their DEI policies at the beginning of this year,
and the latest news is that they are laying off
eighteen hundred employees and have announced plans for this eight
percent layoff and generally have been struggling with stagnant sales
(40:21):
and these boycotts. Now, to be fair, Target was struggling
even before we started to boycott them, but it clearly
isn't helping. So nice to see in some ways that
our efforts to vote with our dollars and to use
our collective power as consumers can work. My heart does
(40:41):
go out to the employees at Target who are going
to be losing their jobs as a result of this.
At the same time, I'm holding two truths at a time,
Like I feel badly for the people who are losing
their jobs. I hope that they can quickly find more work.
I did read that Target's offering severance packages, and so
I hope that'll be taken care of while they make
(41:01):
the transition to a new job opportunity. But also like
this is, you know, also tied to a really successful
boycott and a successful collective action and you know, community
that's gotten together and we've agreed we're not ethm with
this company. So I want to see I just want
to like celebrate that and I want to say that,
(41:24):
you know, we did that, we are doing that, and
I think we just need to expand that and do
it for more companies than just Target. But in the meantime,
nice to see that in some ways it's working all right.
And lastly, what y'all use AI to help you finish
your end of year performance reviews? I was listening to
the news earlier and they were saying that JP Morgan Chase,
(41:47):
with its three hundred thousand employees, is actually encouraging employees
to use chases. But I guess they have a bespoke
internal AI platform. They're encouraging employees to actually use that
platform to help write their performance reviews. And that got
me thinking, would you use AI for your performance review?
(42:07):
And honestly, I would be surprised if y'all weren't using
AI for your performance review? Who wants to do it? Without?
Like it can make things so much simpler? AI can't
write your performance review for you. There's no way it can.
It can glean just from what Internet sources what you
personally have done and accomplished and contributed for the past year.
(42:27):
But it can definitely be a thought partner, and for
anyone who's like staring at those internal systems, like you're
in workday or whatever it is, and you're trying to
quantify your contributions for the year, and you start to
just like your eyes glaze over and you're like, oh Lord,
what am I gonna What am I going to write?
I could really see AI being a helpful tool, and
(42:47):
I think that it can be a thought partner. It
can help you kind of like streamline your thoughts and
make your assessment really clear and focus on things that matter.
So here's something to consider if you're going to use
AI for your performance review. You know, give it a
give it a little bit of a spiel, like say, like,
give it a brain dump. Here's everything I've done the
past year, you know, focus on here's my title, here
(43:10):
are my main responsibilities. If you have KPIs or objectives
you were meant to hit this year, tell the AI
about that. Tell the AI what your biggest wins are
you know, talk about projects that you've led, also anything
that's quantifiable, like how much revenue was generated, how many
customers did you serve? Like did you improve any processes?
(43:31):
Did you save any time? And if you're struggling with
even quantifying what you've achieved, I think AI can also
help you there. So you can even tell it what
you've done and then ask for ideas on how you
can quantify these in a meaningful way that will stand out.
You can talk about like, Okay, here are the skills
and things that I've grown over the past year. You
(43:52):
can ask the AI to help you sort of put
together a little blurb about just the impact of your work.
You know, has your work benefited the team you work
with or your company at large? Have you mentored anyone
or helped your colleagues? You know, what feedback have you
gotten from your peers, your managers, your clients, and like
areas of growth that you may have. You can also
(44:14):
ask the AI to help you kind of tease that out.
And I think using it as a thought partner makes
a lot of sense. So I want to hear from
y'all though, BA Fan, are you going to use AI
for your performance reviews. Are you is it like, do
you think this is like ethical? Unethical? What I mean
at this point if there, I feel like managers are
(44:35):
going to use AI right, like they'd be crazy not
to as well. So why shouldn't we be using AI
as well to give ourselves the best shot at getting
a great performance review? And you know that directly ties
to your dollars. You want to get that raise, that bonus,
you want it to be good, right, Iva fan, That's
all I got for you this week. Thank you so
much for listening to Brown Ambition. Don't forget to check
(44:56):
the show notes for all the resources. The freebie I
talked about joining the Mandy Moneymaker's community, It's all going
to be in the show notes again. Thank you so
so much for the support and for all the love,
and I will see y'all real soon. Thank you. Take care.
If you want the full discussion, if you want the
full breakdown of what I've been doing just to cope
with this really challenging time, you can go to Patreon
(45:19):
Patreon dot com slash Brown Ambition. I'm going to put
the full mental health update and also share a lot
more in depth about some of the strategies that I've
been using just to better cope with all have that
has been going on, just in the interest of time,
because there is so much to cover on today's show
and a lot of things that impact everybody, not just me.
So I want to do that again. At patreon dot
(45:41):
com slash brown Ambition, it's totally free to join our Patreon.
If you want to take it a step up and
become a paid member, you can check out all the
benefits there, but again, just to join for free. I
hope to see y'all there. Hey ba, fam, let's be
real for a second, and y'all know I keep it
(46:02):
a book. The job market has been brutal, now not
brutal trash, especially for women of color. Over three hundred
thousand of us have disappeared from the workforce this year alone,
and not by choice, but because of layoffs, disappearing DEI programs,
and stagnant wages that keep cutting us out of opportunity.
Our unemployment rate has jumped to over seven percent, while
(46:25):
our pay gap continues to widen. I know all of
that sounds dire, but here's what I want y'all to know.
You do not have to wait for the system to
save you. That's exactly why I created the Mandy money
Makers group coaching community. It is a coaching community that
is built for us by us. Inside the community, we're
not just talking about how to negotiate or to how
(46:46):
to get the job that you want. It's about finding
purpose in your career. It's about finding communities and others,
feeling seen, feeling heard, and also having a sounding board
and a mirror to reflect your own magic, your own
sparkle right back to yourself. In this community, you'll get
group coaching led by me, but you also get peer
(47:07):
to peer accountability with proven tools and resources that can
help you do what we have always done since rise.
Even when the odds are stacked against us, despite all
the challenges, we will rise. If you're interested in joining
the Mandy money Makers community and having that support to
bolster you and help you tap back into your magic
(47:30):
so that you can lead your career with intention and
heart and your own intuition, trusting that again, please join us.
You can find information in the show notes of today's episodes,
or go to mandymoney dot com slash community. That's Mandy
m A n d I money dot com slash community.
(47:50):
I would love to see y'all there. Enrollment is open,
so please go check out mandymoney dot com slash community
today
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