September 27, 2022 • 57 mins
Brooke Burke joins Cheryl on the pod and with similar experiences in life…it’s fair to say they have a LOT to discuss. Brooke brings her lessons from 2 divorces, kids and career and how she’s overcome past traumas (and the odds) to find love again, while Cheryl reveals a new device that she swears can help with healing.
There’s a lot packed into this one…and all for the low low price of 2-Burkes!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
This is Burke in the game and I heard radio podcast.
Hey guys, welcome to Burke in the Game. Speaking of
Burke's we're having Brooke Burke. I love her so much.
We are sisters from another mr and um basically you know,
we go way back because of Dancing with the Stars
and um, no, she's not my long lost sister, even
(00:25):
though I wish because she's dropped dead gorgeous. But um, anyway,
going back to how I'm doing I am currently, I
would say I'm okay, like I'm I'm at peace where
I'm at right now, but you know, I have a
little anxiety because of a job that's coming up. But
other than that, I'm doing okay. I um actually met somebody,
(00:51):
not not like that hold your horses. Um, I met somebody,
a woman, another woman from a friend who in reduced
me to this thing called the rassha. And I know
it sounds woo, but it's actually science based and what
it is basically, and I'm not probably saying this right
and you should definitely google it, the rassha, and you
(01:13):
you get hooked up to this like gaming vest that
people wear for like the gamers, all my gamers out there,
it like vibrates your whole body and you are listening
to like by neural beats. In this case, it's trying
neural beats, I believe, and it sends frequency through your
body that honestly helps with PTSD and helps with trauma.
(01:38):
I know that sounds crazy, and I know everyone's probably like,
there are no quick fixes to creating peace and harmony
when it comes to any type of trauma. And I
know that. Obviously I'm still in therapy. I still have
my two therapists, but this has honestly changed my life.
I did three sessions in three days, and I want
(02:02):
before I continue to talk about it, I do want to,
you know, obviously, do more research and let you know
how I am in a month from now. Any who
somethinked us to Google called the rassha r A s
h A. Now back to my sister from another Mr
Brooke Burke. She is a television personality, fitness personality, author,
actress and businesswoman and she's known for hosting Wild Honey,
(02:26):
one of my favorite shows back in the day, and
obviously she hosted Dancing with the Stars and she won
Dancing with Derek. I think it was Derek's first win
out of his hundred wins on Dancing with the Stars,
which was the seventh season. She um has launched Brooke
Burke Body in two thousand seventeen, which is basically a
fitness app with workout videos, which is amazing because she's
(02:47):
in the best shape ever. Brooke has been married twice before.
Her first marriage was in two thousand one to Garth Fisher,
a plastic surgeon, and unfortunately they divorce or fortunately probably
fortunately they divorced. In two thousand five and two thousand six,
she married actor and singer David Serve and they have
two children together. After seven years of marriage, they divorced
in and she's now engaged to Scott riggsby Um. You know,
(03:10):
I just cannot wait to talk to Brooke because I
just love how her whole messaging is about really dedicating
her life to helping women have become aware of their
bodies and the importance of health and mental health. So
let's welcome Brooke Burke, my sister from a getting mother.
(03:39):
I know, seriously, how are you? You look beautiful as always?
Thank you you look beautiful to pretty. Welcome to Burke
in the game. This could be your you could take over.
Oh listen, well we'll double seem. But I've been watching
on your TikTok, so I feel like I see you
every follow that many people. But like my family and
a couple, you know, randoms and you right, it's all
(04:01):
about breakups and heartbreak and because I'm obviously going through
a divorce myself up, so it has been an interesting ride.
So you're in Malibu right now. I'm in Malibu. I'm
at home in between kids in life and yeah, you
know about chils. It's just so crazy right now. We
just started a new school rains driving nor as a freshman.
(04:22):
What oh my god? That makes you feel so old?
How old were they when you did dancing? I am old.
I'm thirty eight years old. Can you believe it? I
started dancing when I was twenty one? Or dancing with
the stars? That is no. No, My hips are definitely
n I can feel it, feel um. But okay, so
(04:44):
what's new with you? Like? I uh, you're definitely missed
on the show. You know obviously you know that was
back in the past for you. But you've done such
amazing things and I love everything you represent. So you
want to tell our listeners how you're doing well. I
have apreciate that. I, you and I go back so
far in time. I feel like we were babies when
(05:06):
we were dancing together, and then of course our you know,
longtime lifetime stint on the show and so many great memories.
Life changed a lot. I mean, I feel like I
measure it all by ages of kids. Crazy, like the
last time you saw Shy. I hate to say it.
I think I was wearing him while I was training
with their learning how to dance, like like he was
(05:29):
three months old, Cheryl. Which doesn't mean that you and
I grow up. But yeah, but life is good. I'm
in Melbourne, I'm engaged, getting congratulations. That's amazing. How many
times have you been engaged? Too many? Don't be ashamed
by it. I want to know because I still believe
(05:51):
I'm a hopeless romantic. Okay, well so am I. Then
let's have a real conversation. Um, who's counting? But sex
maybe for you? You know what I I you know,
you know I care about you. You know I think
I feel like you're like my little sister from the mother.
Everybody always thought we related the books. In the books.
(06:13):
I thought I would never get married. Again. I mean
I would have I would have said never, and I
accidentally met Scott and we kind of just leaned into
it with an open heart. And now here we are,
and um, it's happening, and he's amazing and we have
a big, blended family of six kids and it's wonderful
and he really is all of the things that others
(06:34):
were not. And I think sometimes you just kind of
get ready and you expect the unexpected. And I would
have four years ago has told you that I would
never get married again. Three years ago, I told you
I would never get married again. Um, So you know what,
here we are and you just you don't know what's coming, babe.
You we can't predict, and we can't control, and we
(06:56):
can't determine who somebody is going to be in our
lives and not, and we can only control how we
react to it and how we learn, how we and
how we evolve. I was reading some of the things
that you wrote recently, and you know, I'm really proud
of you for that. We we take the pain, and
we take the journey. We take all of the experiences
and what do we do with them? We decide what
we do with them, and you either let it define
(07:18):
you or um, you just learned from it, right, Like
failure is success in that sense, um, And I guess
for me it's Um, yes, of course it's heartache and
it's not what we expected, and it's not you don't
marry somebody thinking you're going to get a divorce, right
So um And then obviously with the history that means
my ex had as you know, I think you were
maybe I think I met you either when I first
(07:40):
dated him back in the day or about to do
it again for the second time. But um, you know,
it is a sense of empowerment in the weird way
as well, Like there is that sense of like, wow,
you know, I'm choosing me in my sobriety and I
don't think I could have said that a few years ago.
And with you, you know, did you have what we're Like?
(08:02):
I know you've been through two divorces, but like is
one harder than the other? Like how do you feel
about this whole thing? Well, that's what a question. Um.
First of all, I'm so proud of you, like just
for your perspective on all of this, because I know
it's hard to easier, like you're just in it. Right now,
in hindsight, I can look back and give you quite different.
(08:25):
They were both so different. I think I was so
young and so numb and just trying to manage everything
and raise kids, you know, in the beginning, and you know,
you know what it's like to be in the industry
and to be juggling the profession, and then I sprinkle
in a family, you know, and all of that. I
think I was surviving the first one. I think the
second one was really the biggest growth period in my life. Um,
(08:49):
David and I fortunately have a great friendship. We were
we are better friends than we were a husband and wife,
and there were so many things to each other, great parents,
but we just just wasn't working. So I really had
to learn. I had to like go deep inside and
figure out, wouldn't that marriage represent what wasn't What wasn't it?
What were My challenge is what we're his? How do
(09:12):
I grow as a woman? What did I learned about myself?
What do I need to spend more time kind of dissecting?
And I think I kind of segued all of that
struggle and pain and the redesigning of my life into
the business that I'm in now. And wellness and working
with other women and working on transformation that's not just
(09:34):
the body, but it's sort of the mind, body, spirit,
and you know, all of those things that come with
growing up, all coming home really your own identity, even
like this is just we all evolve. We're never we're
not the same person as we were ten years ago
or let alone three years ago. I mean yeah, I
(09:55):
mean same, you know, I mean you you change, you grow.
If you're lucky, you we've volved. If you're lucky and
you take the challenges. I don't like the word failure,
but let's get meal. You take the failures and you
can learn from them and then you grow. Um and
failure is just what I learned from my last guest,
Peter Crone. Failure is isn't a personality trait. It's an event, right,
(10:16):
So like, yes, you failed to win a mirror Ball trophy,
or you've failed you didn't get this audition. It doesn't
define you. Yeah, I like, I like, yeah, I like
how you how you say that? It's it's so true.
I mean even in my classes when I'm doing body
work with women, I invite them to fail, and they're like,
that's what do you mean, like, you gotta fail sometimes
you have to to learn. There is no success without it.
(10:39):
I agree. Yeah, So what did you learn most about yourself? UM?
I guess during this change in your life when you
were evolving from you know, being married to not I
know you have kids and I can't relate, but I
know my listeners can. I guess what was the biggest
hurdle for you? Um? And what was one thing you
(11:00):
took away from each divorce? Gosh? Um, I would Well,
I'll start with the first one. I think I Um,
I didn't know who I was. I think I was
a young woman, you know. Garth and I got together
when I was twenty seven, you know, and separated in
the thirties. I think I was still um searching. I
don't even think I was searching for myself. I think
(11:22):
I didn't know what the how I was at that time,
and I was committed to being a mother and working
my tail off, and I just wasn't fully awake. You know.
I really hate totally the second time around, UM, I
learned a lot about This might be a little deep,
but I learned a lot about masculine, feminine energy, and
(11:42):
I felt very feminine at that time in my life.
I think in fact I was, and because I didn't
really know how to lean into the energy of a
man and how to surrender and how to be kind
of a bad bitch boss lady mom like professional boss
and yet still be feminine. Yeah. And I use the
(12:03):
word feminine lightly because it's such an interesting time right
now to be a woman totally proud, like we're proud
to be women, but still I am, and I'm raising
three daughters, four daughters now, and it's you know, there's
a fine line of losing, you know, that sense of
the blessings of being a woman and still being a
powerful independent um boss. So I didn't I don't think
(12:27):
I understood that dance at the time. And um now
I'm with a man that I feel very safe with.
He's very powerful. It allows me to be equally feminine,
yet I can still be powerful and be on apologetically meed,
which is like, that's so beautiful you. It's amazing too
to live in a space where you can be loud,
(12:49):
be who you are, find your freedom, screw it up, um,
fall deeply in love, you know, reckless, abandoned, like all
of the things that you know, hopeless, romantics, like, you know,
really thriving. So I I have I found my freedom
with this man, and that's a beautiful thing for me.
That's I'm so happy for you and that is the
(13:11):
ultimate goal, now, did you Because I also have this
struggle of you know, um being the breadwinner in all
of my relationships, I think that obviously that is a pattern,
and obviously it's because I don't want to lose control,
thinking that my lazy brain meaning my subconscious which I'm
trying to rewire at the moment um money equals control,
(13:33):
you know. So like my mother, Sherry Burke, I live
your mom, but she was you know, she is the breadwinner,
you know, and I you are who you're raised by
and unless you consciously want to change it and you
want to retrain the brain and rewire it. But um,
when you say the whole like femininity tapping into that
versus being a boss, But how do you do that
(13:55):
alone without a person like without um? Without I guess,
like I really because I'm going through at the moment
like it's beautiful that you have, Scott, and I'm so
happy for you, and I guess I also want to
know what was it like the in the in between. Yeah, God,
you're loading a bit, you're loading. No, no, no, I'm
so obsessed with with the woman. I'm so obsessed with
(14:20):
the integrity of a woman in the composition of the female.
Um power right now that I love these conversations. So UM,
I'll tell you, I think it's incredible to be an
indeprependent woman, and it's okay to be a breadwinner. It's
also amazing to meet someone that rises to the occasion
(14:42):
and can level up and can raise your average together.
So like when you meet I don't want to say equal,
because I don't know that. I believe in equality and
balance and all that. But when you meet someone who's
powerful in their own right, um, and I'm speaking to
men and women out there, I think it allows you
to be powerful as well. And you meet each other
without resistance and with how he go, but with full acceptance,
(15:04):
and it's very rare, it's very special, and it's very powerful,
and it allows you to do even more so. Um,
whether I am the breadwinner, a breadwinner, contributing, not contribue.
We just get to be who we are and accomplishing
all these fabulous things. And you know there's times in
life where you're crushing it, and there are times in
life when you're struggling. I mean, look at our business,
there's times when we can't get arrested and we we
(15:26):
can't do it from work. It's just how it goes.
So you kind of gotta dig deep and and have
your foundation and know what defines you. That's not money,
that's not work, that's not industry, that's not the man
that you are with or not with. It's really who
you are alone in your room when you wake up
(15:46):
in the wee hours of the morning and when you
go to bed at night. How do I feel, you know,
listening to my heartbeat and my own peace with myself.
So that's a lot that is exactly and and I know,
and I I'm I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I
have two therapists of a cognitive therapist and a Semitic therapist.
And um, I am all. I'm a sponge right now.
(16:10):
I love to learn and that's all I care about,
is like really um and even it started like in
the pandemic, I would say, when things started getting a
little um bumpy, And even though we did dancing stars,
even with the pandemic, even with a busy schedule. I
really had um only myself, you know, at that time.
(16:33):
And I'm not saying, you know, my X wasn't there.
Of course he was there. But sometimes you can be
there and it's a body, or you can be there
right as somebody or like an actual physical body, or
you can be with somebody. And unfortunately, at that moment,
it was just a body. And I since then have
learned so much with what you just said, which is
(16:55):
so beautiful that you know it is not You're not
defined by your past. You're not defined by you know,
your outside sources or anything outside of you. And when
you really point the finger at yourself and take accountability,
take responsibility, that's the work, you know, Like, that's the
work sometimes you have to face, whether you like it
(17:17):
or not, because at the end of the day, you
can only change yourself. You cannot change anybody. You really can't.
And I've tried it all. I've tried it, all of this.
I I I love hearing that. And you're so brave
and vulnerable to show that, you know with your listeners,
and you're brave to do the work because it's way
easier to not do the work. Yes, mine, is the
(17:37):
work's coming up, whether you like it or not, whether
it's now or later, or whether you tip your toes
in it. Um long ago. I mean all the drama,
all the drama, all the history, all the stuff, the store.
We're choosing people. I think. I'm no experts. I'm just
like you. I'm sharing them. I've learned along the way.
But you know, we choose people, I think subconsciously for
(17:58):
lessons for growth. Yes, well that trigger us, like I
phase in my life right now where I'm like, that's
a struggle or that doesn't feel good Earth, I don't
like that, going back in weard and going why don't Why?
What is it about that for you that's rocking my
world in that? Or what is it that makes me
want to run? Or what is it that makes me
(18:19):
want to stick? So I'm I'm really fascinated right now,
um about the girl inside and the woman inside of
that is kind of operating this whole thing. And I'm
of discovery. And that's all we're doing, Cheryl, That's all
we're doing is learning and becoming more and becoming more
tuned in and and hopefully evolving and becoming greater. And
(18:42):
it's hard, It is sprin hormones and love and you
know gray hairs, yeah, and that all that, but those
are all easy fixes that that material side, right, like
you just get some hair dye from CVS and call
it a day, but like, yeah or that, but you
know I do. I love the path that you're on
(19:04):
and we need to actually hang up because I need
more women like you in my life. And it is
really excuse my language hard, because it's and it is sometimes,
you know, discouraging. You have those discouraging moments where you're
just like h or you feel like you're stagnant, and
that was the feeling for me in my relationship and
(19:27):
then all of them really not just this last one specifically,
but you get to the point where you feel where
I felt stagnant and I don't like that feeling. And
I'm willing to do this work and I have to
because I owe it to myself, like I always put
everybody in front of me, including my occupation, every single
(19:51):
person's feelings because I also felt some of these people's feelings,
and then I would take in the feeling and then
it was like, but how about me? You know, And
I have to say that I the last since we
separated in the end of January February. I've been alone,
but I haven't been lonely. And that's there's two different meanings,
(20:12):
you know, they're it's just me and my dog. And
I don't think I could have done this if this
happened a few years ago, um, because I would numb.
Like I'm a professional number. So with my sobriety as well,
I my head is cleared, and it's been interesting to
like redefine who I am in a way from not
like hi, I'm Cheryl berknow that's just like a name,
(20:33):
but like really redefined my my own identity really, so
I you remind me. You remind me so much right
now on this moment of me when I was going
through my my separation because the last one figure this
last one, sorry, yeah, this last one. I was trying
to figure out, um how to not be lonely in
(20:57):
my loneliness, and I was really bad at it. And
I was a really bad picker and like you without
sharing too much, like we love then, right, and there
was a whole you know, the whole collection of them
that will be sure us that just for certain needs
at certain times, and I spent um not quite a year,
(21:18):
but a respectable amount of time that I forced myself
to spend by myself. Um, not gonna lie. A lot
of tears, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of work,
a lot of um, really deep soul work as a woman.
It was really hard. I had to go through it.
It's not a rite of passage for a woman. It
(21:38):
is not fun. It is way easier to get out
there and just none. Like you said, I made myself
do it and it was the greatest learning season of
my life. Um. And I was really proud of myself
after doing that. And you know, to share with you also,
I read a book about sobriety during that time. I
(21:58):
wasn't sober and I did and have an addiction of
any kind. But I had a very close friend who
did and it has been sober for probably twenty years.
And she goes, you should really read the principles of sobriety.
And she gave me a book. And I was, just
like you, like a sponge and seeking and learning, and
I liked practices from all things, whether it was and
(22:19):
that like you get bits and pieces right. And I
read it and I and I was fascinated and blown
away at how the steps and the twelve principles of
that that moves to life. Everybody needs to do the
twelve step program. I think, like honestly sober or not,
like whatever your jam is. Like I was like, I
learned so much from that. So I wanted to compliment
(22:39):
you and commend you on that because it sounds like
all of this work is therapeutic and all of this
work is necessary. And you are so right when you
say when you get clear and you're not foggy, you
start to learn, you start to be able to listen,
you start to just settle the dust and be able
to to really listen. And that's the hard space to
live in, being complete, being in discomfort. We don't want
(23:02):
to do that. Yeah, but there's no growth without it.
It's like stretching shell. There's no growth about it. If
you don't still don't stretch, as that the other day.
If you don't, you don't stretch, Cheryl girl. So I
actually I do now because I'm ready. I'm regretting that
I didn't stretch for all these years. You don't have
to stretch because you're naturally like, oh, I'm not actually no,
(23:23):
I'm not not especially my light area. Got a nice
flexible back. But that's it. You're thinking it great, UM,
And I do want to spend time with you, and
I do want you to come and spend time in
my space and with the women that I have in
my life, because in my thirties I didn't have that tried.
In my forties, my life was about work and my
man kids came first. I shouldn't say it in that order.
(23:45):
It was family love, um, and all of them were demanding,
and so I had very little time for everything else.
And because you're such a powerful woman, and let's just
be real, because you're such a beautiful, powerful, bad women,
it's very hard to find other women that will support you,
uplift you, celebrate your level up and raise your average.
(24:07):
I keep saying that because I really, I really want
you to take that. And I have a fabulous trip
of women in my life, and I have them in
my life because we celebrate each other and you need that.
You need that during this time, and you need that
during times of of amazingness in your life. You deserve it,
and you know what we're worthy of that as women,
(24:29):
and it's hard to find that when you do, UM,
we just learned from each other and it's awesome. So
I want you to come and and yes, oh my god,
I would love that so much. I mean, you know,
oh my god, I would love nothing more than that.
But it's been really interesting because I've also chosen to
um well with my sobriety. I've been diagnosed with sociophobia
(24:50):
UM and I can. I now know that the drinking
I thought was helping me, you know, get out there.
And I was like, oh, whenever, like the old executives
of Dancing with Stars like this is how you need
to be in your interviews, and I was like, oh,
I guess I should just be drunk all the time, right,
But I get it, like especially in the beginning, like
I really came here to Los Angeles from Harlem with
(25:11):
my competitive partner, literally with no identity. I had an
English act. You should see my very first interview. It
was interesting, but it's it's I'm also so proud of me,
you know, because of that, like I and I also
think Dancing with the Stars for helping me. I had
to come out of my shell because I had to
speak up for myself. I had to have an opinion
(25:31):
and I didn't know what that was because in the
competitive world, I've always said this and I don't regret
saying it, and I truly believe it's a man's world still,
which is beautiful but also not at the same time,
you know, and so like nothing was ever asked of
me when I was competing until I was here and
I had to be my own person and um, and
then it was my own person but numbing. And mind you,
(25:53):
I can still numb through productivity. I can stay busy
all day long, and that is also another vice. I
am really good at staying busy. Man, I would be
an amazing assistant if I wasn't. I knew we needed
on the ability a little bit to allow us to
do what we did. Yes, I've said that before. I
(26:13):
don't know if the audience can relate, but I know
you can't. I remember going through therapy and being I
don't want to say grossly disconnected, but kind of disconnected
is one which allowed me to do all of these
crazy scary things in my professional I remember saying to
my parents, if I get really connected, am I still
gonna be able to do what I do? No? What
(26:36):
did she say? She was like, Yeah, You're gonna be
even better at it and oh my god, it's all
really scary and really, oh that's interesting. So like you
subconsciously you were nervous that if you were really grounded,
that maybe when you would be like, where what am
I doing? Just present right? You know. It's almost like
it's almost like the moment where you get introduced to yourself,
(27:00):
right when you meet yourself for the first time, where
you're able to find your stillness and was just writing
something about that, and you're really able to just slow
down and listen and slow down and listening, you're learning,
you're remembering, you're hearing the good stuff, the bad stuff
that pains, some stuff, the stuff you're in denial about,
the stuff that you just you know you don't want
to deal with. But it's really only in those moments
(27:20):
that we start to discover and understand. And it's a process. Girl.
I just say, when I separated with my ex um,
I started transpidental meditation and it saved my life. A
part of that, I mean, obviously a bunch of proud
of you, get work, have your look, I'm fifty, I'm
about to be fifty, thank you, But I um, it's
(27:43):
I started connecting the dots in these recent years. And Um,
it was because of heartache, it was because of failure.
It was because things didn't go the way that I
thought they would. I had to really learn how to
start surrendering and accepting things. And I don't mean acting
them and just like being okay with everything. I mean
doing the work and controlling only what I could. That's me,
(28:06):
I know, you know that, and then accepting the other things.
And you know it sounds a little cheeky, but there's
there's you know, there's a body of work and something
that I say often, and you know, I became a
breathwork coach through my own Oh god, I need to
take classes. I need love her. I'd love to do
a session with you. But I became that, um because
I wanted to incorporate that into the work that I
(28:27):
do in my problemless business. But i's because it saved
my life. Sounds so totally. One of the things that
I always say is, um, people don't break your hearts,
they just break your expectations a man, sister, you know.
And it's so I tell it to I say that
to my daughters. It's like that is so true. It
(28:47):
is so true people. We expect them to be like Yes,
we expect and love like us. We expect them to
commit like us. We expect them to show up loyalty
meet us with who no like we have to find
a way to to accept people for there or we're not. Yes,
we're not well, we're not changing people. We're not changing.
(29:08):
We're not the powerful, and we're also not monks to
not have because I've been really into Buddhism lately and
I was baptized Catholic, but I've got like Buddha's all
over my home because I just love the way that
they they their belief system. You know, it's just something
that I relate to. I'm not saying that I am
a Buddhist, but um what I what I do know ideally.
(29:28):
But we're also not monks and we're not like living
which I wish one day just to like have no
noise around me, no technology. Yeah. Yeah, we should definitely
do something like I would love to actually try and
do a silent retreat because I think if I do
need to just be silent, it's fascinating. I've done portions,
(29:50):
so I started guiding female retreats right after work work
body and then I was guiding them, and then I
was learning so much about myself from other women, and um,
I would make them do these silent walks and there
were a couple of properties and we have these morgeous
labyrinths where you're sort of walking back to the center
of yourself. It was so hard and so challenging because
we want to put words to thinks. Sometimes there's a
(30:11):
silent language, a silent understanding where we don't have words.
Sometimes we don't have words in an English language, for sure.
Other languages are have more choices we have. We don't
always have words for emotion, which is actually that's always
the hard part. Yeah, it's a struggle. I'm coming out
with a dance program, which is all It's not dance.
I don't like to say dance. It's a movement program
(30:33):
called body language, which is can I want because it
also sounds cliche, but dance has saved my life and
for many reasons, and um, I want to come. I
am launching this hopefully next year beginning of next year,
but it's been like ten years in the making, and
it's all about body language. Like I know, there's no
need for sound to come out of our mouth, like
we if we were to actually take a step back
(30:54):
and observe um, which is what I'm trying to do.
Also with my thoughts, because we're not our thoughts. But God,
I wish I was taught that I was taught this
in like sixth grade, because I swear that would have helped.
I love. I love what you're saying. It's so funny.
I am actually working on something also, movement in mantras.
So I've been writing in the classes that I teach,
(31:15):
changing the brain game, the inner dialogue, and the self talk,
putting positive mantras with movement. It sounds so firl. We
need to We need to get together for many reasons,
but I need to meet. And yesterday I was teaching
my class, um anybody that's in the Los Angeles area.
I teach Wednesdays a public class at Rocky Lounge. But
I started the class out and had everybody get grounded
(31:36):
and like hold their space, And the whole messaging was
about our body language and how our body language dictates
the story and narrates our story, and our story changes
when we decide how we want to tell it. So
you know, the body language of power, and so even
if you don't feel it, even if you don't feel it,
like you don't need to feel confident walking into a meeting,
(31:58):
but if you if you look it, you will feel it.
It's so fascinating because there's no And I found this
out when I did a live stage show in Japan
um that I created with a few people called um
Love on the Floor. And you know, Asian women, because
I come from the Asian culture, it's really hard to
get them to cry. For example, right like, we don't cry,
we don't really hug. We also pat on the back
(32:20):
a lot. But it's okay, and I love it. But
I got these women, like I would say, middle aged women.
They were just crying through movements through this story that
we were told that we were saying and telling through movement,
only it had a beginning, middle, and end about love
in the many stages we go through, and it was
just so powerful and I knew right then and there,
(32:42):
like I know that there is no need to speak
to anybody. There's no need to speak. It's amazing. I mean,
you're so lyrical in your expression. I can remember watching
you in the ballroom and trying to emulate those news
and trying to tell learn how to tell my own story,
not being a dancer, learning to unity and the power
of that. But it's so true. In my classes, women
(33:06):
often get really emotional and they always asked me what
is it about fitness and that why am I crying?
Like I feel so silly And I'm like this in
the hips, the drama, the trauma, the god, it wakes
up so many things in our body. So I'm kind
of obsessed with not kind of I'm obsessed in in
that and connecting those dots between the mind and the body.
(33:26):
You know, it's totally and it heals trauma. That's my
whole thing. I mean, this is why I'm seeing my
somanic therapist who is just focuses on the body, right,
because you can heal trauma through wherever you're if you
really stay in tune with your body. You know, like, oh,
I've got knots here. I hold all my trauma in
my neck and shoulders and there is a way to
release it without having to put words, which has helped
(33:48):
with my cognitive therapists have been with for the last decade.
But like it is nice as a dancer like I
when it comes to just first step is to have
body awareness in order to get you know your journey
going when it is to healing through movement, and think
about how many people don't even know what that means.
Like I can remember training with Derek and he trying
to create momentum and movement for me and none of
(34:11):
it makes sense in my brain. You wouldn't know because
you guys moved through it. Well, we've been trained like
this for like I love, I love what you're talking about.
We we have to connect this place space because I
you know, I do so much on my appen in
the space and in person, in the community and even
at my home in my backyard, which I would love
for you to come and experience this community circle and
(34:34):
sound baths and I love sound baths. I go to
the one, I go to that one in Malibu, wh
they offer yeah, yeah, they're great. Yeah I do. And
so tell us, um about Brooke Burke body. That's hard
to say, I know people be I don't know be
they body. So I started with about three years ago
(34:55):
and which I you'll get like it was my therapy.
It was my gentle therapy, all the adrenale and in
all um, you know everything that I was going through
UM in the rebuilding of my life. But it's really
for everyone. You don't have to be a fitness guru.
It's for every age at every stage. And we've got
little bite size burns and target toning programs, challenges for
(35:15):
the abs, for the booty. Mindful fitness is really what
I'm into. Um, we're starting to incorporate and increase the meditation,
you know, parts of it, but it's it's head to
toe and it's for a woman. And then it's really
for everyone to figure out how to care for themselves
at home, how to design their own personal wellness commitments
(35:35):
and get it done. So I'm outside a lot, I'm
in the backyard, I'm on the beach, I'm hardly ever
in a studio because I'm I really wanted to be
a visual experience, but it's a digital gym at home
and we need it. You know, pandemic showed us how
important that shift was. Um. You know, I do some
live classes and retreats, like we said, which is really
(35:56):
my passion to connect with women, and I definitely want
to do our silent retreat if you ever do. That's
similar about what you're saying, you know, it's it's breath, movement, mantra,
sweat and connecting all of those things and learning how
to shift ourselves into a different space. And so many
cool things are happening because of it. I launching any day,
(36:16):
actually hopefully this month, a new product and collab that
I did with the Big Body and Longevity. Will send
you an invite. Powder, its super foods, energy, It's focused.
It's like everything we need for our brain. I put
a couple of scoops that it's like, it's like my
recipe for like in my shake in the morning, for myself.
All of these things that we do that make us
(36:38):
feel good, to give us age, to give us clarity, mobility,
like all this stuff we you know, we we we
need it. We need to take care of ourselves, right,
So what does that entail? Exactly? Because I heard one
of your interviews in UM, I fall into this category. Unfortunately,
there is a sphere with doctors for me. UM. It's
not like I don't neglect myself at all, but I
(37:00):
definitely have fear, you know, and I think I want
to just yeah, yeah, I mean there's so many different
types of medicine. Right now, I try to be are
you holistic? Are you only I'm just gonna say I
try to be as holistic as I can. But on
the other side of that, I have so many autoimmune
challenges and certain things that I can't get away from
(37:24):
an approach in a holistic manner. So I have respect
for both sides. I kind of know you have an
autoimmune like would you like signs before obviously being diagnosed,
But I mean so many Remember when I went through
my thyroid urge me on the show, so that was
Hashi Motos, that was thyroid cancer, that was thyroidectomy. I
have IBD. I have like gut things. You're not cancer
for you, right, I'm cancer afraid. I've got like to
(37:46):
being to ligo on it. I've got like white spot
like it's all. But it's stuff that you had to
go to a doctor to know something that feeds the other.
So I'm pretty diligent about the basic bare necessities of
medicine and the markers that you can get in our
body and you know, the colon austerdays in the endoscopies.
Nothing fun. But on the other side of that, I
(38:08):
believe in energy and um changing my own frequency, which
sounds oh my god, felling I believe in the mental
part of wellness. So I haven't heard of the Rasha
Brook No, oh my god, Okay, I just talked about
this in my intro. When you say frequency, you haven't
heard of the Russia? Are you okay? I need a text.
(38:31):
I just did three sessions. It's changed my life. It
works with your frequency and hold on. I'm like, I
don't want to define it in the wrong way, but
it is definitely a new type of technology, and it's
all science based. It looks like like an eighth grade
science project really that it's like built that you're hooked
up to. You were like a vest that maybe like
gamers where where you feel this vibration you have headphones
(38:53):
on and it's like by neural but in this case
it's try neural beats, I think. And you have this
thing hooked up to your heart and it helps with PTSD,
it helps heal your ancestral trauma list And I know
it sounds really hippy dipping copy to people, but this
is crazy. No, this is backed by science what I'm saying.
(39:13):
Yet I get yeah, I get it. I mean, I
you should see my garage, Charlotte. It's like a bio
we need to buy one. We need to come over
because I've done the headphone orchestra frequency shift with vibrations
to the body. Yes, it's similar, and I I like, like,
I don't have body experience. No, I saw things I
(39:36):
do like my fam or at home. I do that.
I do the red light, I do that by vacuations,
do all of that stuff because I'm fascinated by bio
hacking and fascinating yes science, I'm fascinated about how we
shift our body into different spaces with movement, breath, with frequencies,
with all of this. So yeah, I believe that I'm
(39:57):
gonna send you. I'm gonna send you the link right now. Um,
you know, Jenny McCarthy is a huge I didn't know
the main Jenny used to be really good friends. But
then as soon as I put in the rush, literally,
I just did the last three sessions in the last
three days because um, by the time this airs, people
will know I'm not Dancing on the Stars again. And
let me ask you a question. Do you feel like
you've done everything that you wanted to do in the
ballroom or they're still like something Because I look back,
(40:20):
I look back even at my dancing, which I'm not
you know, comparing the process by any means, if I
had one more time that God, I wish I could
do it, you would do it again. Not not that
I would do it again, but I mean in going back,
I was so terrified and green and like you don't
you're you know, for the celebrities that don't know what
the hell that we're so taken out of the that
(40:40):
we're so scared. But that's beautiful. Though we're so scared,
it is beautiful. Fear is beautiful. But do you feel
like there's anything that you haven't done that you want
to do in the ballroom, I want to be able
to show that body language is an actual thing and
you're so powerful you could totally do that. I love
the staith and that you know, I faith is probably
(41:01):
you know, you gotta partner up with faith right now
in your whole process, at this time in your life exactly.
And like you said, people come into your lives, you
learn lessons, even if maybe on paper, I'm like I
don't want that person, you know, it doesn't That is
just there is a reason for this frequency because all
we are our energy, this tiny little speck on this
whole place we call Earth, spinning around in many many
(41:25):
circles constantly, and yet everything revolves around me sometimes, you know,
like everything, I get so caught up and it's just
a great Um, I don't know. And I also have
reached a point to where I realize I'm going to
have to hang up my dance shoes. And I guess
another question before we were at here, I mean, I
would never hang up my dance shoes, but like, come on,
(41:47):
but you know, I do believe that there is another
there's more out there, and I'm not saying more and like,
oh there's better. No, I've done twenty six seasons and
I can be okay with saying you know what, Okay cool.
I will always have a place for dancing in my heart.
But I also know that with everything I've learned throughout
the years and this constant like me wanting to evolve,
(42:08):
I want to help more people and maybe that is
through body language, and um, I love all the celebrities
I've danced with, don't get me wrong, but I know
that because of the platform that I've been blessed and
given through Dancing on the Stars, there's more and and
more meaning. Like I want to help more people, not
just one person a season. You're smart to approach it
that way. I mean, look, anyway we slice said, you
(42:30):
know after seven eighth seasons, even hosting, deep down inside
I'm not gonna lie. I was like, oh, I kind
of want to do something else. You're like, yeah, what
you wish for, you know? And then that went away.
But going back, like when you look at that platform
and all your fans and the people that love you,
that opens up a whole loud conversation for you to
go out and do all of those things that that
you want to do, you know. And so how did
(42:52):
you handle your transition? Yeah, how did you handle your
transition from because like dancing, it does consume your life
and you think that that it is scary. There is
a scary that fear of the uncertainty. But we are
but this is the life we live in. Everything is
on tomorrow is uncertain, in a minute from now is uncertain.
That was one of the greatest lessons um and love
(43:14):
and divorce, And even in my experience in the ballroom
was partnering up with uncertainty. I was not good at that.
I think it forced me to go out and explore
a lot of other things. I think we so often
take things from granted in our business, you know, having
an opportunity to be on that show and host that show,
a live show like that, there aren't you know, there
aren't many live shows happening. Everybody else is in a
(43:36):
studio for fifteen eighteen hours a day. We like had
the greatest gig of all time. Um So I love
that and I take it with me for all of
the amazing parts of it. It was such a an
incredible experience, and those kind of shows are are really
hard to come by, but it allowed me at the
time and energy to go out and build a business
(43:57):
that I think I'm touching a lot of women's lives.
It's such an active service from love the work that
I'm doing in my app. I love the work that
I'm doing in the wellness space with women. It's very
fulfilling for me. It actually brings me so much joy.
It's very similar to what you're saying. It makes me
feel good to do something purposeful with the community of women.
(44:20):
So I'm so serious, Yeah, and I um, I'm kind
of grateful for all the things that I've done in
my career. For one reason or the other, and you know,
to be I'm gonna knock on what I've learned to
choose my word. So I hope that I will and
I will work in the industry. But at the same time,
(44:40):
I love what I'm doing right now and i'm the
freedom that I have to design my days, and um,
you know how limited we are, Cheryl, when we're on
an under contract and we have a commitment and we're
professional and I honor it and we do it well.
But it's first priority over your kids, sometimes over your family.
They expect that you know, you know, I mean I.
(45:01):
I think I've shared this before, so I don't want
to repeat oldness. But one of the most beautiful, touching
conversations that I had with my daughter Rain after I
left the show, because you remember, I raised Naraya and
Sierra hosting probably two or three shows at the same time,
missing car pool, missing certain things. Being the best mom
I could, gave myself grace to be a mom and
(45:22):
a businesswoman. So I never looked back and feel guilty
about what I missed. I managed at all to the
best of my ability. But with Rain, after leaving the show,
when I was going through the what's next to you.
I remember my little girl and leaning over to me
in the car and going along and this is the
greatest year of my life. What do you mean? Because
I was in the struggle of no totally and she
(45:46):
was like, oh, this has just been so much like
I'm in the car picking up and doing this in
the I and I have goose bumps. But I had
to put into perspective that things changed for reasons at
times in our life. And you know, it's not that
cheeky one or closes one. Okay, we know that, we
know that if we're positive. But if you look at
seasons in your life of change and why people pain, um,
(46:09):
professional triumphs um. You know, just everything comes into our life.
Things shift, I think for valuable reasons, and we have
to look for those lessons. We have to ask for
eyes to see those messages and trust that there is
a power greater than ourselves. Without saying the word God,
(46:30):
you know, yeah, that's right. I believe that. I mean,
I I have a lot of faith, um, and all
things energy God like. I actually love the Buddhist practice
as well. Um. We have to pay attention to those
messages and those signs and you know, and look for people,
look for helpful or helpers in your life when people
are letting you down and rocking your world and breaking
(46:51):
your expectations, and when you go, god, do I even
know what love is? Do I even know who that
person is? Like? Those are honest, real questions and disappointment,
and then you look for good people. Yeah, well, good
good people come into your life and show you what
loyalty and love looks like. And I feel you like
I feel you in that I didn't know what love
(47:11):
looked like. I thought I did, and then I was like,
I don't know what forever looks like. Well, I also
didn't know what self love was, and I did know
and I do know this intellectually then that I will
forever work on. But I'm really working on now is
self is self love? Self respect? Because how do you
love anybody if you can't love yourself? You know, like
there really is? That is not an option And I've
(47:33):
realized that, um, and I think that is maybe why
I'm like, oh, what does that feel like when you're
really when you've met your soul mate? Like all those
like you know, movie hopeless romantic, I say, I'm a
hopeless romantic, But I'd like to say I'm a realist
romantic because like I am right, like everyone must have
be in the notebook, Like I'd love to be slammed
(47:54):
up against that truck because that's what I remember by
Ryan Gosling. But but you know, at the end of
the day, that is just pretend and really goes back
to that. It has to go do not let no
comparison in any ways. I that's not real. It was
(48:16):
my sole nt. Yeah at that time. Yes, he wasn't
my life partner. Yeah, So the romantic part of me
thought I was supposed to marry the soule nate woman
inside of me, and the realists realized I was able
to differentiate. Now there's a difference, but you also grew
and evolved. Maybe you were different back then. I was. Yeah,
(48:37):
I was. And when you talk about self love as
a woman now, as a motified, powerful woman, if you
really want to be a badass, you dive into self
love and you don't straight for that, and then you
demand the people in your life to love you, and
you teach them how to love you preach it's it's
it's called energy frequency. Like you are what you put
out there, and you're also going to get back what
(48:59):
you put out. And if you don't know how to
love yourself, you don't know how to show any to
somebody else how to love you. Like I'm no expert,
but that I know that I know is real and
productive and that works, like you gotta you gotta love yourself,
and what does that consist of for you? Like as
far as how do you give back to yourself when
(49:19):
you're so busy and you have kids and everything. I
create boundaries. I lead by example with my kids. Um,
I let myself come first. Sometimes not in a selfish way.
I carve out time for me. I have like I
do not to start that's on right now. All my
kids override it. So I literally I thought, sounds good.
Do not call me for the next hour, in case
it's in a viergency. Do the same thing. Rooster knock
(49:43):
on my bedroom door. Don't come into my bathroom. Girls,
I'm gonna go take an ups and self off and
light my candle and put my old in there and
burn my stage and like all my ship that I do.
Just leave. Give mom some time because I need to
recharge and reboot. I guess I allow myself to recharge.
With reboot, I get a lot of my I fill
my cup when I teach in my classes because I
(50:05):
I really loved that time with other women and I
can't out time for romance, for meantime for health, for
wellness to escape. I take my my wellness very seriously.
And I think that's probably why going back to Scott like,
that's probably how you attracted that. You know as well,
because like I hope you know, it sounds like that
(50:26):
you guys are in a very healthy relationship and that's
beautiful and that is I think solely because you gave
that love to yourself and that's what you now expect
in a healthy way. Your expectations are not unrealistic. You
know boundaries. I mean that's a huge thing I'm working
and boundaries. Look deal breakers? What are your deal breakers?
(50:50):
I'm working on a body of work right now. I'll
share with you it's at the soul contract and it's
really the value woman of a writing a binding contract
off and defining your deal breakers, your boundaries. Who gets
to journey with you? Um? Who edits it with you?
When you read what do you tweak? Like? It's the
(51:11):
same way we would approach with our legal team. A
real freaking contract. We do it for we enter into
a marriage for God's sakes, right, But what about what
about our soul contract? So I'm obsessed with that right now?
What are my deal breakers? Like change? But my deal
breakers are um, honesty, loyalty, um um. Loving kindness and
(51:34):
loving kindness is actually a real thing. It's a real
word and kind of loving kindness. I know I'm worthy
of it, and I deserve it. I give it and
I I asked for that. I met Scott, I asked
for a loving I asked for a hottie first hot look,
I love it. Let me real girl, hottie, get specific girl. Um,
(51:58):
But I I you gotta know your basic needs. And
I say this carefully because if you write your list
of who you want, what you're looking for, you do
rule out all these other possibilities. To some people say,
don't be so specific. I think you have to be
specific in your basic and your minimum needs. There's non negotiables.
(52:21):
I've realized that the minimum needs are big, Like loving
kindness is like come on, I mean yeah, because what
is the opposite of that? Like nobody wants that? But
but yet we accept it. But that is a but
that's also maybe because too, that's what we think of ourselves, right,
(52:43):
like we don't deserve it. So that goes back to
self love maybe, yeah, I mean, I I know it
does for me. I think I accepted a lot of
abuse both physically and mentally in my mind of all
my exes. I'm not saying any of these specifics. It
don't go crazy people, but like, really it does. You know,
it goes back to that because that was my definition
of love. You know, I'm trauma bonding and it's a
(53:06):
freaking real thing. Oh hold on, yeah, that's the real thing.
It's like, look, it's so it's so well that I've
lost you know, have passed away. Um. You know, people
who are on are on medicinal journeys that think they
fall in love when they're tripping. People that are just
got sober, that need to hold onto similarity. I mean,
(53:28):
for the opposite, when a nice person comes in my life,
I am so turned off. Not now, but I was
so turned off by that. I was like even a
dance partner, I'd be like, gross, why is this guy? So,
you know, because I didn't know that it felt like unfortunately,
what home felt for me was abuse. It's familiarity. Yeah, now,
I totally and I'm so glad you're looking into this
(53:50):
and and recognizing that and and say for you Brooke
like I you know, I'm so grateful. I mean, I
feel like I can actually connect with you in this sense.
And you know, I definitely different than maybe some of
our conversations we've had before, but I do believe people
come into each other's lives for a reason, and I
(54:11):
would love to continue our friendship. Um, And so let's
touch Thank you for doing this. I mean in so
many ways, Cheryl, I'm totally here and you know I
don't say it lately. We go way back. So um,
let's meet not on the digital screen induce work. But
I love but I love doing this and I'm so
proud of you for telling your story and for being
vulnerable simultaneously well being the baddest that you are un
(54:35):
for healing and just sharing your story with with with people.
I've learned that women learned from other women, UM, and
I know women like us we have a responsibility to
share that and I think it really matters. So thanks
for just letting me do the show. And you know,
have this conversation with you and we'll continue it absolutely.
I'm gonna text you all about the Russia. You saw
(54:56):
the same number. I'm assuming you know all right, I'll
tell see you later. I love you so much. Thank
you for all your work. Okay, thank you so much.
To our special guest, Brooke Burke. I love her and
(55:19):
it's so interesting to like catch up with, you know,
old co workers in a way, because um, I could tell,
even just for myself, how much I've evolved and how
people really do come into their lives, into each other's lives,
I think at the right time. And you know, I
wasn't able to really sit down and talk to Brooke
back in the day when she was a host or
when she was obviously competing um as a contestant, because
(55:42):
you know, time is limited on Dancing with the Stars.
But I just love that she is doing the work
that she's doing and I can't wait to add her
to my very small, uh list of friends. Um anyway,
so thank you again to Brooke for coming on Broke
in the game. At the end of every episode, we
need to ask the listeners the question of the week,
(56:03):
as you all know, and this week's question is our
kids a factor and staying in a marriage and why
I don't have kids, so um, I can't really answer it. However,
I coming from a divorce family. My mother and my
real father divorced when I was two, I would say
no because I think that I look at it at
(56:24):
look is it ideal? Yes? But is it necessary and
sacrificing your own you know, mental health as a that
whoever decides to divorce. If I think it's worse to
stay in a marriage if your kid is witnessing, because
you know kids are smart and if you are around
if that kid or kids they're surrounded in that environment
(56:44):
of abuse, I would say no, it is not a
factor and staying in a marriage. But again I don't
have kids, so I would love to learn. I would
love to hear from you, our listeners again the question
of the week is our kids a factor and staying
in a marriage and why? So we want to hear
from you as always, email us at Burke in the
Game at I Heart radio dot com or d m
(57:04):
us on Instagram at Burke in the Game. I love
you guys. Bye, thanks for listening and coming along this
journey with me. If you like what you hear, then
feel free to give this podcast five stars. You can
also follow along with my journey on Instagram at burke
in the Game and if you have any advice or
want to write in, then email me at burke in
the Game at i heeart radio dot com
This is Burke in the game and I heard radio podcast.
Hey guys, welcome to Burke in the Game. Speaking of
Burke's we're having Brooke Burke. I love her so much.
We are sisters from another mr and um basically you know,
we go way back because of Dancing with the Stars
and um, no, she's not my long lost sister, even
(00:25):
though I wish because she's dropped dead gorgeous. But um, anyway,
going back to how I'm doing I am currently, I
would say I'm okay, like I'm I'm at peace where
I'm at right now, but you know, I have a
little anxiety because of a job that's coming up. But
other than that, I'm doing okay. I um actually met somebody,
(00:51):
not not like that hold your horses. Um, I met somebody,
a woman, another woman from a friend who in reduced
me to this thing called the rassha. And I know
it sounds woo, but it's actually science based and what
it is basically, and I'm not probably saying this right
and you should definitely google it, the rassha, and you
(01:13):
you get hooked up to this like gaming vest that
people wear for like the gamers, all my gamers out there,
it like vibrates your whole body and you are listening
to like by neural beats. In this case, it's trying
neural beats, I believe, and it sends frequency through your
body that honestly helps with PTSD and helps with trauma.
(01:38):
I know that sounds crazy, and I know everyone's probably like,
there are no quick fixes to creating peace and harmony
when it comes to any type of trauma. And I
know that. Obviously I'm still in therapy. I still have
my two therapists, but this has honestly changed my life.
I did three sessions in three days, and I want
(02:02):
before I continue to talk about it, I do want to,
you know, obviously, do more research and let you know
how I am in a month from now. Any who
somethinked us to Google called the rassha r A s
h A. Now back to my sister from another Mr
Brooke Burke. She is a television personality, fitness personality, author,
actress and businesswoman and she's known for hosting Wild Honey,
(02:26):
one of my favorite shows back in the day, and
obviously she hosted Dancing with the Stars and she won
Dancing with Derek. I think it was Derek's first win
out of his hundred wins on Dancing with the Stars,
which was the seventh season. She um has launched Brooke
Burke Body in two thousand seventeen, which is basically a
fitness app with workout videos, which is amazing because she's
(02:47):
in the best shape ever. Brooke has been married twice before.
Her first marriage was in two thousand one to Garth Fisher,
a plastic surgeon, and unfortunately they divorce or fortunately probably
fortunately they divorced. In two thousand five and two thousand six,
she married actor and singer David Serve and they have
two children together. After seven years of marriage, they divorced
in and she's now engaged to Scott riggsby Um. You know,
(03:10):
I just cannot wait to talk to Brooke because I
just love how her whole messaging is about really dedicating
her life to helping women have become aware of their
bodies and the importance of health and mental health. So
let's welcome Brooke Burke, my sister from a getting mother.
(03:39):
I know, seriously, how are you? You look beautiful as always?
Thank you you look beautiful to pretty. Welcome to Burke
in the game. This could be your you could take over.
Oh listen, well we'll double seem. But I've been watching
on your TikTok, so I feel like I see you
every follow that many people. But like my family and
a couple, you know, randoms and you right, it's all
(04:01):
about breakups and heartbreak and because I'm obviously going through
a divorce myself up, so it has been an interesting ride.
So you're in Malibu right now. I'm in Malibu. I'm
at home in between kids in life and yeah, you
know about chils. It's just so crazy right now. We
just started a new school rains driving nor as a freshman.
(04:22):
What oh my god? That makes you feel so old?
How old were they when you did dancing? I am old.
I'm thirty eight years old. Can you believe it? I
started dancing when I was twenty one? Or dancing with
the stars? That is no. No, My hips are definitely
n I can feel it, feel um. But okay, so
(04:44):
what's new with you? Like? I uh, you're definitely missed
on the show. You know obviously you know that was
back in the past for you. But you've done such
amazing things and I love everything you represent. So you
want to tell our listeners how you're doing well. I
have apreciate that. I, you and I go back so
far in time. I feel like we were babies when
(05:06):
we were dancing together, and then of course our you know,
longtime lifetime stint on the show and so many great memories.
Life changed a lot. I mean, I feel like I
measure it all by ages of kids. Crazy, like the
last time you saw Shy. I hate to say it.
I think I was wearing him while I was training
with their learning how to dance, like like he was
(05:29):
three months old, Cheryl. Which doesn't mean that you and
I grow up. But yeah, but life is good. I'm
in Melbourne, I'm engaged, getting congratulations. That's amazing. How many
times have you been engaged? Too many? Don't be ashamed
by it. I want to know because I still believe
(05:51):
I'm a hopeless romantic. Okay, well so am I. Then
let's have a real conversation. Um, who's counting? But sex
maybe for you? You know what I I you know,
you know I care about you. You know I think
I feel like you're like my little sister from the mother.
Everybody always thought we related the books. In the books.
(06:13):
I thought I would never get married. Again. I mean
I would have I would have said never, and I
accidentally met Scott and we kind of just leaned into
it with an open heart. And now here we are,
and um, it's happening, and he's amazing and we have
a big, blended family of six kids and it's wonderful
and he really is all of the things that others
(06:34):
were not. And I think sometimes you just kind of
get ready and you expect the unexpected. And I would
have four years ago has told you that I would
never get married again. Three years ago, I told you
I would never get married again. Um, So you know what,
here we are and you just you don't know what's coming, babe.
You we can't predict, and we can't control, and we
(06:56):
can't determine who somebody is going to be in our
lives and not, and we can only control how we
react to it and how we learn, how we and
how we evolve. I was reading some of the things
that you wrote recently, and you know, I'm really proud
of you for that. We we take the pain, and
we take the journey. We take all of the experiences
and what do we do with them? We decide what
we do with them, and you either let it define
(07:18):
you or um, you just learned from it, right, Like
failure is success in that sense, um, And I guess
for me it's Um, yes, of course it's heartache and
it's not what we expected, and it's not you don't
marry somebody thinking you're going to get a divorce, right
So um And then obviously with the history that means
my ex had as you know, I think you were
maybe I think I met you either when I first
(07:40):
dated him back in the day or about to do
it again for the second time. But um, you know,
it is a sense of empowerment in the weird way
as well, Like there is that sense of like, wow,
you know, I'm choosing me in my sobriety and I
don't think I could have said that a few years ago.
And with you, you know, did you have what we're Like?
(08:02):
I know you've been through two divorces, but like is
one harder than the other? Like how do you feel
about this whole thing? Well, that's what a question. Um.
First of all, I'm so proud of you, like just
for your perspective on all of this, because I know
it's hard to easier, like you're just in it. Right now,
in hindsight, I can look back and give you quite different.
(08:25):
They were both so different. I think I was so
young and so numb and just trying to manage everything
and raise kids, you know, in the beginning, and you know,
you know what it's like to be in the industry
and to be juggling the profession, and then I sprinkle
in a family, you know, and all of that. I
think I was surviving the first one. I think the
second one was really the biggest growth period in my life. Um,
(08:49):
David and I fortunately have a great friendship. We were
we are better friends than we were a husband and wife,
and there were so many things to each other, great parents,
but we just just wasn't working. So I really had
to learn. I had to like go deep inside and
figure out, wouldn't that marriage represent what wasn't What wasn't it?
What were My challenge is what we're his? How do
(09:12):
I grow as a woman? What did I learned about myself?
What do I need to spend more time kind of dissecting?
And I think I kind of segued all of that
struggle and pain and the redesigning of my life into
the business that I'm in now. And wellness and working
with other women and working on transformation that's not just
(09:34):
the body, but it's sort of the mind, body, spirit,
and you know, all of those things that come with
growing up, all coming home really your own identity, even
like this is just we all evolve. We're never we're
not the same person as we were ten years ago
or let alone three years ago. I mean yeah, I
(09:55):
mean same, you know, I mean you you change, you grow.
If you're lucky, you we've volved. If you're lucky and
you take the challenges. I don't like the word failure,
but let's get meal. You take the failures and you
can learn from them and then you grow. Um and
failure is just what I learned from my last guest,
Peter Crone. Failure is isn't a personality trait. It's an event, right,
(10:16):
So like, yes, you failed to win a mirror Ball trophy,
or you've failed you didn't get this audition. It doesn't
define you. Yeah, I like, I like, yeah, I like
how you how you say that? It's it's so true.
I mean even in my classes when I'm doing body
work with women, I invite them to fail, and they're like,
that's what do you mean, like, you gotta fail sometimes
you have to to learn. There is no success without it.
(10:39):
I agree. Yeah, So what did you learn most about yourself? UM?
I guess during this change in your life when you
were evolving from you know, being married to not I
know you have kids and I can't relate, but I
know my listeners can. I guess what was the biggest
hurdle for you? Um? And what was one thing you
(11:00):
took away from each divorce? Gosh? Um, I would Well,
I'll start with the first one. I think I Um,
I didn't know who I was. I think I was
a young woman, you know. Garth and I got together
when I was twenty seven, you know, and separated in
the thirties. I think I was still um searching. I
don't even think I was searching for myself. I think
(11:22):
I didn't know what the how I was at that time,
and I was committed to being a mother and working
my tail off, and I just wasn't fully awake. You know.
I really hate totally the second time around, UM, I
learned a lot about This might be a little deep,
but I learned a lot about masculine, feminine energy, and
(11:42):
I felt very feminine at that time in my life.
I think in fact I was, and because I didn't
really know how to lean into the energy of a
man and how to surrender and how to be kind
of a bad bitch boss lady mom like professional boss
and yet still be feminine. Yeah. And I use the
(12:03):
word feminine lightly because it's such an interesting time right
now to be a woman totally proud, like we're proud
to be women, but still I am, and I'm raising
three daughters, four daughters now, and it's you know, there's
a fine line of losing, you know, that sense of
the blessings of being a woman and still being a
powerful independent um boss. So I didn't I don't think
(12:27):
I understood that dance at the time. And um now
I'm with a man that I feel very safe with.
He's very powerful. It allows me to be equally feminine,
yet I can still be powerful and be on apologetically meed,
which is like, that's so beautiful you. It's amazing too
to live in a space where you can be loud,
(12:49):
be who you are, find your freedom, screw it up, um,
fall deeply in love, you know, reckless, abandoned, like all
of the things that you know, hopeless, romantics, like, you know,
really thriving. So I I have I found my freedom
with this man, and that's a beautiful thing for me.
That's I'm so happy for you and that is the
(13:11):
ultimate goal, now, did you Because I also have this
struggle of you know, um being the breadwinner in all
of my relationships, I think that obviously that is a pattern,
and obviously it's because I don't want to lose control,
thinking that my lazy brain meaning my subconscious which I'm
trying to rewire at the moment um money equals control,
(13:33):
you know. So like my mother, Sherry Burke, I live
your mom, but she was you know, she is the breadwinner,
you know, and I you are who you're raised by
and unless you consciously want to change it and you
want to retrain the brain and rewire it. But um,
when you say the whole like femininity tapping into that
versus being a boss, But how do you do that
(13:55):
alone without a person like without um? Without I guess,
like I really because I'm going through at the moment
like it's beautiful that you have, Scott, and I'm so
happy for you, and I guess I also want to
know what was it like the in the in between. Yeah, God,
you're loading a bit, you're loading. No, no, no, I'm
so obsessed with with the woman. I'm so obsessed with
(14:20):
the integrity of a woman in the composition of the female.
Um power right now that I love these conversations. So UM,
I'll tell you, I think it's incredible to be an
indeprependent woman, and it's okay to be a breadwinner. It's
also amazing to meet someone that rises to the occasion
(14:42):
and can level up and can raise your average together.
So like when you meet I don't want to say equal,
because I don't know that. I believe in equality and
balance and all that. But when you meet someone who's
powerful in their own right, um, and I'm speaking to
men and women out there, I think it allows you
to be powerful as well. And you meet each other
without resistance and with how he go, but with full acceptance,
(15:04):
and it's very rare, it's very special, and it's very powerful,
and it allows you to do even more so. Um,
whether I am the breadwinner, a breadwinner, contributing, not contribue.
We just get to be who we are and accomplishing
all these fabulous things. And you know there's times in
life where you're crushing it, and there are times in
life when you're struggling. I mean, look at our business,
there's times when we can't get arrested and we we
(15:26):
can't do it from work. It's just how it goes.
So you kind of gotta dig deep and and have
your foundation and know what defines you. That's not money,
that's not work, that's not industry, that's not the man
that you are with or not with. It's really who
you are alone in your room when you wake up
(15:46):
in the wee hours of the morning and when you
go to bed at night. How do I feel, you know,
listening to my heartbeat and my own peace with myself.
So that's a lot that is exactly and and I know,
and I I'm I'm a huge advocate for therapy. I
have two therapists of a cognitive therapist and a Semitic therapist.
And um, I am all. I'm a sponge right now.
(16:10):
I love to learn and that's all I care about,
is like really um and even it started like in
the pandemic, I would say, when things started getting a
little um bumpy, And even though we did dancing stars,
even with the pandemic, even with a busy schedule. I
really had um only myself, you know, at that time.
(16:33):
And I'm not saying, you know, my X wasn't there.
Of course he was there. But sometimes you can be
there and it's a body, or you can be there
right as somebody or like an actual physical body, or
you can be with somebody. And unfortunately, at that moment,
it was just a body. And I since then have
learned so much with what you just said, which is
(16:55):
so beautiful that you know it is not You're not
defined by your past. You're not defined by you know,
your outside sources or anything outside of you. And when
you really point the finger at yourself and take accountability,
take responsibility, that's the work, you know, Like, that's the
work sometimes you have to face, whether you like it
(17:17):
or not, because at the end of the day, you
can only change yourself. You cannot change anybody. You really can't.
And I've tried it all. I've tried it, all of this.
I I I love hearing that. And you're so brave
and vulnerable to show that, you know with your listeners,
and you're brave to do the work because it's way
easier to not do the work. Yes, mine, is the
(17:37):
work's coming up, whether you like it or not, whether
it's now or later, or whether you tip your toes
in it. Um long ago. I mean all the drama,
all the drama, all the history, all the stuff, the store.
We're choosing people. I think. I'm no experts. I'm just
like you. I'm sharing them. I've learned along the way.
But you know, we choose people, I think subconsciously for
(17:58):
lessons for growth. Yes, well that trigger us, like I
phase in my life right now where I'm like, that's
a struggle or that doesn't feel good Earth, I don't
like that, going back in weard and going why don't Why?
What is it about that for you that's rocking my
world in that? Or what is it that makes me
want to run? Or what is it that makes me
(18:19):
want to stick? So I'm I'm really fascinated right now,
um about the girl inside and the woman inside of
that is kind of operating this whole thing. And I'm
of discovery. And that's all we're doing, Cheryl, That's all
we're doing is learning and becoming more and becoming more
tuned in and and hopefully evolving and becoming greater. And
(18:42):
it's hard, It is sprin hormones and love and you
know gray hairs, yeah, and that all that, but those
are all easy fixes that that material side, right, like
you just get some hair dye from CVS and call
it a day, but like, yeah or that, but you
know I do. I love the path that you're on
(19:04):
and we need to actually hang up because I need
more women like you in my life. And it is
really excuse my language hard, because it's and it is sometimes,
you know, discouraging. You have those discouraging moments where you're
just like h or you feel like you're stagnant, and
that was the feeling for me in my relationship and
(19:27):
then all of them really not just this last one specifically,
but you get to the point where you feel where
I felt stagnant and I don't like that feeling. And
I'm willing to do this work and I have to
because I owe it to myself, like I always put
everybody in front of me, including my occupation, every single
(19:51):
person's feelings because I also felt some of these people's feelings,
and then I would take in the feeling and then
it was like, but how about me? You know, And
I have to say that I the last since we
separated in the end of January February. I've been alone,
but I haven't been lonely. And that's there's two different meanings,
(20:12):
you know, they're it's just me and my dog. And
I don't think I could have done this if this
happened a few years ago, um, because I would numb.
Like I'm a professional number. So with my sobriety as well,
I my head is cleared, and it's been interesting to
like redefine who I am in a way from not
like hi, I'm Cheryl berknow that's just like a name,
(20:33):
but like really redefined my my own identity really, so
I you remind me. You remind me so much right
now on this moment of me when I was going
through my my separation because the last one figure this
last one, sorry, yeah, this last one. I was trying
to figure out, um how to not be lonely in
(20:57):
my loneliness, and I was really bad at it. And
I was a really bad picker and like you without
sharing too much, like we love then, right, and there
was a whole you know, the whole collection of them
that will be sure us that just for certain needs
at certain times, and I spent um not quite a year,
(21:18):
but a respectable amount of time that I forced myself
to spend by myself. Um, not gonna lie. A lot
of tears, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of work,
a lot of um, really deep soul work as a woman.
It was really hard. I had to go through it.
It's not a rite of passage for a woman. It
(21:38):
is not fun. It is way easier to get out
there and just none. Like you said, I made myself
do it and it was the greatest learning season of
my life. Um. And I was really proud of myself
after doing that. And you know, to share with you also,
I read a book about sobriety during that time. I
(21:58):
wasn't sober and I did and have an addiction of
any kind. But I had a very close friend who
did and it has been sober for probably twenty years.
And she goes, you should really read the principles of sobriety.
And she gave me a book. And I was, just
like you, like a sponge and seeking and learning, and
I liked practices from all things, whether it was and
(22:19):
that like you get bits and pieces right. And I
read it and I and I was fascinated and blown
away at how the steps and the twelve principles of
that that moves to life. Everybody needs to do the
twelve step program. I think, like honestly sober or not,
like whatever your jam is. Like I was like, I
learned so much from that. So I wanted to compliment
(22:39):
you and commend you on that because it sounds like
all of this work is therapeutic and all of this
work is necessary. And you are so right when you
say when you get clear and you're not foggy, you
start to learn, you start to be able to listen,
you start to just settle the dust and be able
to to really listen. And that's the hard space to
live in, being complete, being in discomfort. We don't want
(23:02):
to do that. Yeah, but there's no growth without it.
It's like stretching shell. There's no growth about it. If
you don't still don't stretch, as that the other day.
If you don't, you don't stretch, Cheryl girl. So I
actually I do now because I'm ready. I'm regretting that
I didn't stretch for all these years. You don't have
to stretch because you're naturally like, oh, I'm not actually no,
(23:23):
I'm not not especially my light area. Got a nice
flexible back. But that's it. You're thinking it great, UM,
And I do want to spend time with you, and
I do want you to come and spend time in
my space and with the women that I have in
my life, because in my thirties I didn't have that tried.
In my forties, my life was about work and my
man kids came first. I shouldn't say it in that order.
(23:45):
It was family love, um, and all of them were demanding,
and so I had very little time for everything else.
And because you're such a powerful woman, and let's just
be real, because you're such a beautiful, powerful, bad women,
it's very hard to find other women that will support you,
uplift you, celebrate your level up and raise your average.
(24:07):
I keep saying that because I really, I really want
you to take that. And I have a fabulous trip
of women in my life, and I have them in
my life because we celebrate each other and you need that.
You need that during this time, and you need that
during times of of amazingness in your life. You deserve it,
and you know what we're worthy of that as women,
(24:29):
and it's hard to find that when you do, UM,
we just learned from each other and it's awesome. So
I want you to come and and yes, oh my god,
I would love that so much. I mean, you know,
oh my god, I would love nothing more than that.
But it's been really interesting because I've also chosen to
um well with my sobriety. I've been diagnosed with sociophobia
(24:50):
UM and I can. I now know that the drinking
I thought was helping me, you know, get out there.
And I was like, oh, whenever, like the old executives
of Dancing with Stars like this is how you need
to be in your interviews, and I was like, oh,
I guess I should just be drunk all the time, right,
But I get it, like especially in the beginning, like
I really came here to Los Angeles from Harlem with
(25:11):
my competitive partner, literally with no identity. I had an
English act. You should see my very first interview. It
was interesting, but it's it's I'm also so proud of me,
you know, because of that, like I and I also
think Dancing with the Stars for helping me. I had
to come out of my shell because I had to
speak up for myself. I had to have an opinion
(25:31):
and I didn't know what that was because in the
competitive world, I've always said this and I don't regret
saying it, and I truly believe it's a man's world still,
which is beautiful but also not at the same time,
you know, and so like nothing was ever asked of
me when I was competing until I was here and
I had to be my own person and um, and
then it was my own person but numbing. And mind you,
(25:53):
I can still numb through productivity. I can stay busy
all day long, and that is also another vice. I
am really good at staying busy. Man, I would be
an amazing assistant if I wasn't. I knew we needed
on the ability a little bit to allow us to
do what we did. Yes, I've said that before. I
(26:13):
don't know if the audience can relate, but I know
you can't. I remember going through therapy and being I
don't want to say grossly disconnected, but kind of disconnected
is one which allowed me to do all of these
crazy scary things in my professional I remember saying to
my parents, if I get really connected, am I still
gonna be able to do what I do? No? What
(26:36):
did she say? She was like, Yeah, You're gonna be
even better at it and oh my god, it's all
really scary and really, oh that's interesting. So like you
subconsciously you were nervous that if you were really grounded,
that maybe when you would be like, where what am
I doing? Just present right? You know. It's almost like
it's almost like the moment where you get introduced to yourself,
(27:00):
right when you meet yourself for the first time, where
you're able to find your stillness and was just writing
something about that, and you're really able to just slow
down and listen and slow down and listening, you're learning,
you're remembering, you're hearing the good stuff, the bad stuff
that pains, some stuff, the stuff you're in denial about,
the stuff that you just you know you don't want
to deal with. But it's really only in those moments
(27:20):
that we start to discover and understand. And it's a process. Girl.
I just say, when I separated with my ex um,
I started transpidental meditation and it saved my life. A
part of that, I mean, obviously a bunch of proud
of you, get work, have your look, I'm fifty, I'm
about to be fifty, thank you, But I um, it's
(27:43):
I started connecting the dots in these recent years. And Um,
it was because of heartache, it was because of failure.
It was because things didn't go the way that I
thought they would. I had to really learn how to
start surrendering and accepting things. And I don't mean acting
them and just like being okay with everything. I mean
doing the work and controlling only what I could. That's me,
(28:06):
I know, you know that, and then accepting the other things.
And you know it sounds a little cheeky, but there's
there's you know, there's a body of work and something
that I say often, and you know, I became a
breathwork coach through my own Oh god, I need to
take classes. I need love her. I'd love to do
a session with you. But I became that, um because
I wanted to incorporate that into the work that I
(28:27):
do in my problemless business. But i's because it saved
my life. Sounds so totally. One of the things that
I always say is, um, people don't break your hearts,
they just break your expectations a man, sister, you know.
And it's so I tell it to I say that
to my daughters. It's like that is so true. It
(28:47):
is so true people. We expect them to be like Yes,
we expect and love like us. We expect them to
commit like us. We expect them to show up loyalty
meet us with who no like we have to find
a way to to accept people for there or we're not. Yes,
we're not well, we're not changing people. We're not changing.
(29:08):
We're not the powerful, and we're also not monks to
not have because I've been really into Buddhism lately and
I was baptized Catholic, but I've got like Buddha's all
over my home because I just love the way that
they they their belief system. You know, it's just something
that I relate to. I'm not saying that I am
a Buddhist, but um what I what I do know ideally.
(29:28):
But we're also not monks and we're not like living
which I wish one day just to like have no
noise around me, no technology. Yeah. Yeah, we should definitely
do something like I would love to actually try and
do a silent retreat because I think if I do
need to just be silent, it's fascinating. I've done portions,
(29:50):
so I started guiding female retreats right after work work
body and then I was guiding them, and then I
was learning so much about myself from other women, and um,
I would make them do these silent walks and there
were a couple of properties and we have these morgeous
labyrinths where you're sort of walking back to the center
of yourself. It was so hard and so challenging because
we want to put words to thinks. Sometimes there's a
(30:11):
silent language, a silent understanding where we don't have words.
Sometimes we don't have words in an English language, for sure.
Other languages are have more choices we have. We don't
always have words for emotion, which is actually that's always
the hard part. Yeah, it's a struggle. I'm coming out
with a dance program, which is all It's not dance.
I don't like to say dance. It's a movement program
(30:33):
called body language, which is can I want because it
also sounds cliche, but dance has saved my life and
for many reasons, and um, I want to come. I
am launching this hopefully next year beginning of next year,
but it's been like ten years in the making, and
it's all about body language. Like I know, there's no
need for sound to come out of our mouth, like
we if we were to actually take a step back
(30:54):
and observe um, which is what I'm trying to do.
Also with my thoughts, because we're not our thoughts. But God,
I wish I was taught that I was taught this
in like sixth grade, because I swear that would have helped.
I love. I love what you're saying. It's so funny.
I am actually working on something also, movement in mantras.
So I've been writing in the classes that I teach,
(31:15):
changing the brain game, the inner dialogue, and the self talk,
putting positive mantras with movement. It sounds so firl. We
need to We need to get together for many reasons,
but I need to meet. And yesterday I was teaching
my class, um anybody that's in the Los Angeles area.
I teach Wednesdays a public class at Rocky Lounge. But
I started the class out and had everybody get grounded
(31:36):
and like hold their space, And the whole messaging was
about our body language and how our body language dictates
the story and narrates our story, and our story changes
when we decide how we want to tell it. So
you know, the body language of power, and so even
if you don't feel it, even if you don't feel it,
like you don't need to feel confident walking into a meeting,
(31:58):
but if you if you look it, you will feel it.
It's so fascinating because there's no And I found this
out when I did a live stage show in Japan
um that I created with a few people called um
Love on the Floor. And you know, Asian women, because
I come from the Asian culture, it's really hard to
get them to cry. For example, right like, we don't cry,
we don't really hug. We also pat on the back
(32:20):
a lot. But it's okay, and I love it. But
I got these women, like I would say, middle aged women.
They were just crying through movements through this story that
we were told that we were saying and telling through movement,
only it had a beginning, middle, and end about love
in the many stages we go through, and it was
just so powerful and I knew right then and there,
(32:42):
like I know that there is no need to speak
to anybody. There's no need to speak. It's amazing. I mean,
you're so lyrical in your expression. I can remember watching
you in the ballroom and trying to emulate those news
and trying to tell learn how to tell my own story,
not being a dancer, learning to unity and the power
of that. But it's so true. In my classes, women
(33:06):
often get really emotional and they always asked me what
is it about fitness and that why am I crying?
Like I feel so silly And I'm like this in
the hips, the drama, the trauma, the god, it wakes
up so many things in our body. So I'm kind
of obsessed with not kind of I'm obsessed in in
that and connecting those dots between the mind and the body.
(33:26):
You know, it's totally and it heals trauma. That's my
whole thing. I mean, this is why I'm seeing my
somanic therapist who is just focuses on the body, right,
because you can heal trauma through wherever you're if you
really stay in tune with your body. You know, like, oh,
I've got knots here. I hold all my trauma in
my neck and shoulders and there is a way to
release it without having to put words, which has helped
(33:48):
with my cognitive therapists have been with for the last decade.
But like it is nice as a dancer like I
when it comes to just first step is to have
body awareness in order to get you know your journey
going when it is to healing through movement, and think
about how many people don't even know what that means.
Like I can remember training with Derek and he trying
to create momentum and movement for me and none of
(34:11):
it makes sense in my brain. You wouldn't know because
you guys moved through it. Well, we've been trained like
this for like I love, I love what you're talking about.
We we have to connect this place space because I
you know, I do so much on my appen in
the space and in person, in the community and even
at my home in my backyard, which I would love
for you to come and experience this community circle and
(34:34):
sound baths and I love sound baths. I go to
the one, I go to that one in Malibu, wh
they offer yeah, yeah, they're great. Yeah I do. And
so tell us, um about Brooke Burke body. That's hard
to say, I know people be I don't know be
they body. So I started with about three years ago
(34:55):
and which I you'll get like it was my therapy.
It was my gentle therapy, all the adrenale and in
all um, you know everything that I was going through
UM in the rebuilding of my life. But it's really
for everyone. You don't have to be a fitness guru.
It's for every age at every stage. And we've got
little bite size burns and target toning programs, challenges for
(35:15):
the abs, for the booty. Mindful fitness is really what
I'm into. Um, we're starting to incorporate and increase the meditation,
you know, parts of it, but it's it's head to
toe and it's for a woman. And then it's really
for everyone to figure out how to care for themselves
at home, how to design their own personal wellness commitments
(35:35):
and get it done. So I'm outside a lot, I'm
in the backyard, I'm on the beach, I'm hardly ever
in a studio because I'm I really wanted to be
a visual experience, but it's a digital gym at home
and we need it. You know, pandemic showed us how
important that shift was. Um. You know, I do some
live classes and retreats, like we said, which is really
(35:56):
my passion to connect with women, and I definitely want
to do our silent retreat if you ever do. That's
similar about what you're saying, you know, it's it's breath, movement, mantra,
sweat and connecting all of those things and learning how
to shift ourselves into a different space. And so many
cool things are happening because of it. I launching any day,
(36:16):
actually hopefully this month, a new product and collab that
I did with the Big Body and Longevity. Will send
you an invite. Powder, its super foods, energy, It's focused.
It's like everything we need for our brain. I put
a couple of scoops that it's like, it's like my
recipe for like in my shake in the morning, for myself.
All of these things that we do that make us
(36:38):
feel good, to give us age, to give us clarity, mobility,
like all this stuff we you know, we we we
need it. We need to take care of ourselves, right,
So what does that entail? Exactly? Because I heard one
of your interviews in UM, I fall into this category. Unfortunately,
there is a sphere with doctors for me. UM. It's
not like I don't neglect myself at all, but I
(37:00):
definitely have fear, you know, and I think I want
to just yeah, yeah, I mean there's so many different
types of medicine. Right now, I try to be are
you holistic? Are you only I'm just gonna say I
try to be as holistic as I can. But on
the other side of that, I have so many autoimmune
challenges and certain things that I can't get away from
(37:24):
an approach in a holistic manner. So I have respect
for both sides. I kind of know you have an
autoimmune like would you like signs before obviously being diagnosed,
But I mean so many Remember when I went through
my thyroid urge me on the show, so that was
Hashi Motos, that was thyroid cancer, that was thyroidectomy. I
have IBD. I have like gut things. You're not cancer
for you, right, I'm cancer afraid. I've got like to
(37:46):
being to ligo on it. I've got like white spot
like it's all. But it's stuff that you had to
go to a doctor to know something that feeds the other.
So I'm pretty diligent about the basic bare necessities of
medicine and the markers that you can get in our
body and you know, the colon austerdays in the endoscopies.
Nothing fun. But on the other side of that, I
(38:08):
believe in energy and um changing my own frequency, which
sounds oh my god, felling I believe in the mental
part of wellness. So I haven't heard of the Rasha
Brook No, oh my god, Okay, I just talked about
this in my intro. When you say frequency, you haven't
heard of the Russia? Are you okay? I need a text.
(38:31):
I just did three sessions. It's changed my life. It
works with your frequency and hold on. I'm like, I
don't want to define it in the wrong way, but
it is definitely a new type of technology, and it's
all science based. It looks like like an eighth grade
science project really that it's like built that you're hooked
up to. You were like a vest that maybe like
gamers where where you feel this vibration you have headphones
(38:53):
on and it's like by neural but in this case
it's try neural beats, I think. And you have this
thing hooked up to your heart and it helps with PTSD,
it helps heal your ancestral trauma list And I know
it sounds really hippy dipping copy to people, but this
is crazy. No, this is backed by science what I'm saying.
(39:13):
Yet I get yeah, I get it. I mean, I
you should see my garage, Charlotte. It's like a bio
we need to buy one. We need to come over
because I've done the headphone orchestra frequency shift with vibrations
to the body. Yes, it's similar, and I I like, like,
I don't have body experience. No, I saw things I
(39:36):
do like my fam or at home. I do that.
I do the red light, I do that by vacuations,
do all of that stuff because I'm fascinated by bio
hacking and fascinating yes science, I'm fascinated about how we
shift our body into different spaces with movement, breath, with frequencies,
with all of this. So yeah, I believe that I'm
(39:57):
gonna send you. I'm gonna send you the link right now. Um,
you know, Jenny McCarthy is a huge I didn't know
the main Jenny used to be really good friends. But
then as soon as I put in the rush, literally,
I just did the last three sessions in the last
three days because um, by the time this airs, people
will know I'm not Dancing on the Stars again. And
let me ask you a question. Do you feel like
you've done everything that you wanted to do in the
ballroom or they're still like something Because I look back,
(40:20):
I look back even at my dancing, which I'm not
you know, comparing the process by any means, if I
had one more time that God, I wish I could
do it, you would do it again. Not not that
I would do it again, but I mean in going back,
I was so terrified and green and like you don't
you're you know, for the celebrities that don't know what
the hell that we're so taken out of the that
(40:40):
we're so scared. But that's beautiful. Though we're so scared,
it is beautiful. Fear is beautiful. But do you feel
like there's anything that you haven't done that you want
to do in the ballroom, I want to be able
to show that body language is an actual thing and
you're so powerful you could totally do that. I love
the staith and that you know, I faith is probably
(41:01):
you know, you gotta partner up with faith right now
in your whole process, at this time in your life exactly.
And like you said, people come into your lives, you
learn lessons, even if maybe on paper, I'm like I
don't want that person, you know, it doesn't That is
just there is a reason for this frequency because all
we are our energy, this tiny little speck on this
whole place we call Earth, spinning around in many many
(41:25):
circles constantly, and yet everything revolves around me sometimes, you know,
like everything, I get so caught up and it's just
a great Um, I don't know. And I also have
reached a point to where I realize I'm going to
have to hang up my dance shoes. And I guess
another question before we were at here, I mean, I
would never hang up my dance shoes, but like, come on,
(41:47):
but you know, I do believe that there is another
there's more out there, and I'm not saying more and like,
oh there's better. No, I've done twenty six seasons and
I can be okay with saying you know what, Okay cool.
I will always have a place for dancing in my heart.
But I also know that with everything I've learned throughout
the years and this constant like me wanting to evolve,
(42:08):
I want to help more people and maybe that is
through body language, and um, I love all the celebrities
I've danced with, don't get me wrong, but I know
that because of the platform that I've been blessed and
given through Dancing on the Stars, there's more and and
more meaning. Like I want to help more people, not
just one person a season. You're smart to approach it
that way. I mean, look, anyway we slice said, you
(42:30):
know after seven eighth seasons, even hosting, deep down inside
I'm not gonna lie. I was like, oh, I kind
of want to do something else. You're like, yeah, what
you wish for, you know? And then that went away.
But going back, like when you look at that platform
and all your fans and the people that love you,
that opens up a whole loud conversation for you to
go out and do all of those things that that
you want to do, you know. And so how did
(42:52):
you handle your transition? Yeah, how did you handle your
transition from because like dancing, it does consume your life
and you think that that it is scary. There is
a scary that fear of the uncertainty. But we are
but this is the life we live in. Everything is
on tomorrow is uncertain, in a minute from now is uncertain.
That was one of the greatest lessons um and love
(43:14):
and divorce, And even in my experience in the ballroom
was partnering up with uncertainty. I was not good at that.
I think it forced me to go out and explore
a lot of other things. I think we so often
take things from granted in our business, you know, having
an opportunity to be on that show and host that show,
a live show like that, there aren't you know, there
aren't many live shows happening. Everybody else is in a
(43:36):
studio for fifteen eighteen hours a day. We like had
the greatest gig of all time. Um So I love
that and I take it with me for all of
the amazing parts of it. It was such a an
incredible experience, and those kind of shows are are really
hard to come by, but it allowed me at the
time and energy to go out and build a business
(43:57):
that I think I'm touching a lot of women's lives.
It's such an active service from love the work that
I'm doing in my app. I love the work that
I'm doing in the wellness space with women. It's very
fulfilling for me. It actually brings me so much joy.
It's very similar to what you're saying. It makes me
feel good to do something purposeful with the community of women.
(44:20):
So I'm so serious, Yeah, and I um, I'm kind
of grateful for all the things that I've done in
my career. For one reason or the other, and you know,
to be I'm gonna knock on what I've learned to
choose my word. So I hope that I will and
I will work in the industry. But at the same time,
(44:40):
I love what I'm doing right now and i'm the
freedom that I have to design my days, and um,
you know how limited we are, Cheryl, when we're on
an under contract and we have a commitment and we're
professional and I honor it and we do it well.
But it's first priority over your kids, sometimes over your family.
They expect that you know, you know, I mean I.
(45:01):
I think I've shared this before, so I don't want
to repeat oldness. But one of the most beautiful, touching
conversations that I had with my daughter Rain after I
left the show, because you remember, I raised Naraya and
Sierra hosting probably two or three shows at the same time,
missing car pool, missing certain things. Being the best mom
I could, gave myself grace to be a mom and
(45:22):
a businesswoman. So I never looked back and feel guilty
about what I missed. I managed at all to the
best of my ability. But with Rain, after leaving the show,
when I was going through the what's next to you.
I remember my little girl and leaning over to me
in the car and going along and this is the
greatest year of my life. What do you mean? Because
I was in the struggle of no totally and she
(45:46):
was like, oh, this has just been so much like
I'm in the car picking up and doing this in
the I and I have goose bumps. But I had
to put into perspective that things changed for reasons at
times in our life. And you know, it's not that
cheeky one or closes one. Okay, we know that, we
know that if we're positive. But if you look at
seasons in your life of change and why people pain, um,
(46:09):
professional triumphs um. You know, just everything comes into our life.
Things shift, I think for valuable reasons, and we have
to look for those lessons. We have to ask for
eyes to see those messages and trust that there is
a power greater than ourselves. Without saying the word God,
(46:30):
you know, yeah, that's right. I believe that. I mean,
I I have a lot of faith, um, and all
things energy God like. I actually love the Buddhist practice
as well. Um. We have to pay attention to those
messages and those signs and you know, and look for people,
look for helpful or helpers in your life when people
are letting you down and rocking your world and breaking
(46:51):
your expectations, and when you go, god, do I even
know what love is? Do I even know who that
person is? Like? Those are honest, real questions and disappointment,
and then you look for good people. Yeah, well, good
good people come into your life and show you what
loyalty and love looks like. And I feel you like
I feel you in that I didn't know what love
(47:11):
looked like. I thought I did, and then I was like,
I don't know what forever looks like. Well, I also
didn't know what self love was, and I did know
and I do know this intellectually then that I will
forever work on. But I'm really working on now is
self is self love? Self respect? Because how do you
love anybody if you can't love yourself? You know, like
there really is? That is not an option And I've
(47:33):
realized that, um, and I think that is maybe why
I'm like, oh, what does that feel like when you're
really when you've met your soul mate? Like all those
like you know, movie hopeless romantic, I say, I'm a
hopeless romantic, But I'd like to say I'm a realist
romantic because like I am right, like everyone must have
be in the notebook, Like I'd love to be slammed
(47:54):
up against that truck because that's what I remember by
Ryan Gosling. But but you know, at the end of
the day, that is just pretend and really goes back
to that. It has to go do not let no
comparison in any ways. I that's not real. It was
(48:16):
my sole nt. Yeah at that time. Yes, he wasn't
my life partner. Yeah, So the romantic part of me
thought I was supposed to marry the soule nate woman
inside of me, and the realists realized I was able
to differentiate. Now there's a difference, but you also grew
and evolved. Maybe you were different back then. I was. Yeah,
(48:37):
I was. And when you talk about self love as
a woman now, as a motified, powerful woman, if you
really want to be a badass, you dive into self
love and you don't straight for that, and then you
demand the people in your life to love you, and
you teach them how to love you preach it's it's
it's called energy frequency. Like you are what you put
out there, and you're also going to get back what
(48:59):
you put out. And if you don't know how to
love yourself, you don't know how to show any to
somebody else how to love you. Like I'm no expert,
but that I know that I know is real and
productive and that works, like you gotta you gotta love yourself,
and what does that consist of for you? Like as
far as how do you give back to yourself when
(49:19):
you're so busy and you have kids and everything. I
create boundaries. I lead by example with my kids. Um,
I let myself come first. Sometimes not in a selfish way.
I carve out time for me. I have like I
do not to start that's on right now. All my
kids override it. So I literally I thought, sounds good.
Do not call me for the next hour, in case
it's in a viergency. Do the same thing. Rooster knock
(49:43):
on my bedroom door. Don't come into my bathroom. Girls,
I'm gonna go take an ups and self off and
light my candle and put my old in there and
burn my stage and like all my ship that I do.
Just leave. Give mom some time because I need to
recharge and reboot. I guess I allow myself to recharge.
With reboot, I get a lot of my I fill
my cup when I teach in my classes because I
(50:05):
I really loved that time with other women and I
can't out time for romance, for meantime for health, for
wellness to escape. I take my my wellness very seriously.
And I think that's probably why going back to Scott like,
that's probably how you attracted that. You know as well,
because like I hope you know, it sounds like that
(50:26):
you guys are in a very healthy relationship and that's
beautiful and that is I think solely because you gave
that love to yourself and that's what you now expect
in a healthy way. Your expectations are not unrealistic. You
know boundaries. I mean that's a huge thing I'm working
and boundaries. Look deal breakers? What are your deal breakers?
(50:50):
I'm working on a body of work right now. I'll
share with you it's at the soul contract and it's
really the value woman of a writing a binding contract
off and defining your deal breakers, your boundaries. Who gets
to journey with you? Um? Who edits it with you?
When you read what do you tweak? Like? It's the
(51:11):
same way we would approach with our legal team. A
real freaking contract. We do it for we enter into
a marriage for God's sakes, right, But what about what
about our soul contract? So I'm obsessed with that right now?
What are my deal breakers? Like change? But my deal
breakers are um, honesty, loyalty, um um. Loving kindness and
(51:34):
loving kindness is actually a real thing. It's a real
word and kind of loving kindness. I know I'm worthy
of it, and I deserve it. I give it and
I I asked for that. I met Scott, I asked
for a loving I asked for a hottie first hot look,
I love it. Let me real girl, hottie, get specific girl. Um,
(51:58):
But I I you gotta know your basic needs. And
I say this carefully because if you write your list
of who you want, what you're looking for, you do
rule out all these other possibilities. To some people say,
don't be so specific. I think you have to be
specific in your basic and your minimum needs. There's non negotiables.
(52:21):
I've realized that the minimum needs are big, Like loving
kindness is like come on, I mean yeah, because what
is the opposite of that? Like nobody wants that? But
but yet we accept it. But that is a but
that's also maybe because too, that's what we think of ourselves, right,
(52:43):
like we don't deserve it. So that goes back to
self love maybe, yeah, I mean, I I know it
does for me. I think I accepted a lot of
abuse both physically and mentally in my mind of all
my exes. I'm not saying any of these specifics. It
don't go crazy people, but like, really it does. You know,
it goes back to that because that was my definition
of love. You know, I'm trauma bonding and it's a
(53:06):
freaking real thing. Oh hold on, yeah, that's the real thing.
It's like, look, it's so it's so well that I've
lost you know, have passed away. Um. You know, people
who are on are on medicinal journeys that think they
fall in love when they're tripping. People that are just
got sober, that need to hold onto similarity. I mean,
(53:28):
for the opposite, when a nice person comes in my life,
I am so turned off. Not now, but I was
so turned off by that. I was like even a
dance partner, I'd be like, gross, why is this guy? So,
you know, because I didn't know that it felt like unfortunately,
what home felt for me was abuse. It's familiarity. Yeah, now,
I totally and I'm so glad you're looking into this
(53:50):
and and recognizing that and and say for you Brooke
like I you know, I'm so grateful. I mean, I
feel like I can actually connect with you in this sense.
And you know, I definitely different than maybe some of
our conversations we've had before, but I do believe people
come into each other's lives for a reason, and I
(54:11):
would love to continue our friendship. Um, And so let's
touch Thank you for doing this. I mean in so
many ways, Cheryl, I'm totally here and you know I
don't say it lately. We go way back. So um,
let's meet not on the digital screen induce work. But
I love but I love doing this and I'm so
proud of you for telling your story and for being
vulnerable simultaneously well being the baddest that you are un
(54:35):
for healing and just sharing your story with with with people.
I've learned that women learned from other women, UM, and
I know women like us we have a responsibility to
share that and I think it really matters. So thanks
for just letting me do the show. And you know,
have this conversation with you and we'll continue it absolutely.
I'm gonna text you all about the Russia. You saw
(54:56):
the same number. I'm assuming you know all right, I'll
tell see you later. I love you so much. Thank
you for all your work. Okay, thank you so much.
To our special guest, Brooke Burke. I love her and
(55:19):
it's so interesting to like catch up with, you know,
old co workers in a way, because um, I could tell,
even just for myself, how much I've evolved and how
people really do come into their lives, into each other's lives,
I think at the right time. And you know, I
wasn't able to really sit down and talk to Brooke
back in the day when she was a host or
when she was obviously competing um as a contestant, because
(55:42):
you know, time is limited on Dancing with the Stars.
But I just love that she is doing the work
that she's doing and I can't wait to add her
to my very small, uh list of friends. Um anyway,
so thank you again to Brooke for coming on Broke
in the game. At the end of every episode, we
need to ask the listeners the question of the week,
(56:03):
as you all know, and this week's question is our
kids a factor and staying in a marriage and why
I don't have kids, so um, I can't really answer it. However,
I coming from a divorce family. My mother and my
real father divorced when I was two, I would say
no because I think that I look at it at
(56:24):
look is it ideal? Yes? But is it necessary and
sacrificing your own you know, mental health as a that
whoever decides to divorce. If I think it's worse to
stay in a marriage if your kid is witnessing, because
you know kids are smart and if you are around
if that kid or kids they're surrounded in that environment
(56:44):
of abuse, I would say no, it is not a
factor and staying in a marriage. But again I don't
have kids, so I would love to learn. I would
love to hear from you, our listeners again the question
of the week is our kids a factor and staying
in a marriage and why? So we want to hear
from you as always, email us at Burke in the
Game at I Heart radio dot com or d m
(57:04):
us on Instagram at Burke in the Game. I love
you guys. Bye, thanks for listening and coming along this
journey with me. If you like what you hear, then
feel free to give this podcast five stars. You can
also follow along with my journey on Instagram at burke
in the Game and if you have any advice or
want to write in, then email me at burke in
the Game at i heeart radio dot com
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