September 22, 2021 • 42 mins
Boners after death are the topic of the day and everyday. And a lady who has a cosmetics and poison company in Renaissance Italy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
School of Humans. Hello everyone, Welcome to Cadaver Gaws, the
podcast where we talk about all of the ways that
people have died throughout history to cope with our own mortality.
I'm your host, Taylor, along with Gabby Hi and Nika Hello.
Oh hello. Okay, So today we're going to hear about
(00:30):
the death of an eighteenth century thief and a murderous woman.
Oh loved one. A woman is murderous. Yeah. So today's
trigger warnings. They're intense, you guys. They include poison, hanging,
explicit talk of penis and vagina, murder, vagina, and rape penis.
(00:53):
So these are bad. Yep. Rape, that's really bad. Oh
my god. Yep, it's intense. So you've been warned. Cue
the music. Okay, we loved that music as usual. Before
(01:19):
we get into it, I'm just really curious, Gabby. I
need to know how you came across your story today.
We all have our ways of finding things, but I'm
just I just feel like you you've found this in
a weird way or something. I don't know. Uh, well,
I googled Boner death, okay, and so this is how
I got to this one. You know, you do that
(01:39):
and then you look at Wikipedia for a while, and
then you're like, oh, here's something interesting, and then you
kind of like go off. You just go off, and
that's what happened. That's our very journalistic way of researching. Great. Yeah,
and one day I will donate to Wikipedia, but it
is not this day. But you just like randomly thought
bone or death. You were like, hmm, well, I have
(02:03):
been thinking a lot about boners in space for like
this joke I've been doing. So I was like, we
already had done some space death, so I was like,
what about boner, just regular bone, because you can't get
a boner in space, which I know is disappointing to everyone.
You can, but it's very hard. It's hard to get
very hard, like like hard in the Hahaway or hard
in the It's difficult to get hard in space because
(02:25):
like your testosterone also like ladies are people with vaginas
also difficult to get around. So it's just also in space,
you just your your libido drops loots, so you don't
even want to have sex in space. So I don't
know why we're going honestly, okay, literally elon musk, think
about that. How are we going to procreate if we
cannot get horny in space. That's true. That's the thing,
(02:47):
you know, because it's like, I can't mess around with
these limp dick motherfuckers anymore. So it's actually really sad
too because I was thinking about my sexual attraction to
the aliens and alien and now that makes me sad
because I'm like, wait, would I not be horny for
them in space? Would they have to come down to
Earth to ravish me? Yeah? That's why I had to
save the planet. Is so because the best boner you
can get is on this planet. So that's my appeal
(03:09):
to people. Okay, anyway, this is this is you know,
Taylor was like, let's not have a chaotic intro, but
I'm glad it then became a chaotic post intro. So
this is actually we're going to the eighteenth century. Okay,
no space, there's no space in this just boners maybe
space spoiler space. Is there more babies? There were more
(03:34):
babies orphan children, Yeah, because people were actually horning in
the eighteenth century, but most of them like died. It's
like one in five children at this point. We're probably
dying of smallpox. So this is like seventeen early seventeen hundreds,
and we're talking about this guy named Jack Shepherd, and
he was a super famous thief. He had like a
(03:55):
great moment in like seventeen twenty four because not only
was he a thief, he also was able to escape
from prison four times. Good for him, good for fucking him.
But yeah, so he was He was born into a
pretty poor family and started working in carpentry. But then
you know, he started boozing and getting getting with the
ladies of the night, you know, as you be doing.
(04:18):
And one time at this bar he would go to,
he met this dude who was like, hey, you should
just like start stealing stuff if you want money. So
he was like, that's a great idea. Um. So you know,
he was thieving and ship. But you know, he got arrested,
right But that's when, you know, he started escaping from
prisons and he did it, as I said, four times,
which is incredible. The first time, what he did was
(04:39):
he crawled through the ceiling of his cell because it
was just like a bunch of wood. And then it
was funny because there's like a crowd that gathered around
the prison. They're like, hey, someone's escaping up there. But
he had already kind of escaped and gotten down from
the roof, and he joined the crowd and he was like, yeah,
someone's escaping. We gotta go find him, dude, Oh my god.
And then he scampered away because you know, he was
(05:01):
good at distracting people, you know, a little misdirect little
thief act there like a magician. Yeah, he was great.
And the second time, he and his lady lover, who
was a lady of the night, they both were arrested
and basically he was able to get out of the window.
And you know, he had tied all like the bed
blankets together as like a rope. And something that people
always remarked on was like he was a very small
(05:23):
dude and his lady lover was a very large lady.
So people were like, wow, he's so strong lowering his lady.
Love love that. That's great. Also, I am trying to
find pictures of him to see if he was hot.
It seemed like he sported a buzz cut at one point,
which I mean, no, he had a pony tail and stuff.
He just had like some people said, like his hairline
was really far back, but they say he was very handsome,
(05:46):
so short King life I suppose short king and lack
of hairline life and well he didn't. Well now, it's
just there was this one picture of him in prison
that someone had drawn and then someone did a print
of it a few years later, and they had made
his hairline further back, and apparently that was something people
needed to call meent on as like a historical piece
(06:08):
of evidence for something. I don't know what the evidence
is or like what the representation of a like that
hair line is, but people were talking about it. Okay,
But his third time he escaped, they were like, Okay,
this motherfucker is like good at escaping, so we should, like,
you know, do take some more precautions. But they didn't
take that many precautions. What he had done is in
the door of his cell, like at the top, there
(06:31):
were some bars, and so he was able to file
one of the bars out. And then his lady lover
and this other friend of his, two women, they came
into the prison to visit him. And what they did
was one of the ladies who started flirting with the guard,
you know, to distract him, and then his ladylover gave
him a dress basically some women's clothes, so he wore
(06:53):
the women's He put the women's clothes on and snuck
out through this bar he had filed down. And you know,
if a man is just dressed in women's clothes, you
just can't tell anymore, you know, I guess. Also, it's
like two went in and three women came out. So
I'm just like, you got the dude also to file
down some bars that would probably take some time. Like
(07:14):
they weren't checking in on him, Yeah, they weren't, I
mean because he had like filed it and then he
made sure he would like put it put the bar
back in, like you know when they were like passing by.
So and also he was able to shimmy through the
space because again he was small. He was a small
little dude. The fourth time, they were like, okay, let's
take this seriously, right, And he was put into this
(07:35):
cell that was called the Castle, that was like in
the center of the prison, and he was like chained
in irons and he was like chained to the ground
and stuff. But he like was very easy. It was
very easy for him to like get out of his
chains and he would like walk around his cell being
like nah, out of him mischievoa. He was just like
I think, like if he had any sort of thing,
(07:56):
he could like pick a lock. Basically, it seemed in
anyway for this one, he like somehow like was able
to like scurry through a chimney at some point, and
then he would like go back through the prison. He
was like, oh, I need to go back to my
cell to get some things now. So I mean he
was just like walking around and just like he got
escaped again and then he like got on top of
the roof of the prison, jumped to a neighboring house,
(08:18):
broke into the house, just like walked through the house,
nobody noticed, and then just like went to go you know,
thieving and whoring, so very different just like my ex.
I think, I'm not kidding. I really think my ex
is like the reading cart down to the same name,
literally small, mischievous, same name like charismatic, ah, and you
(08:41):
are just a large lady of the night, you know.
But then anyway, Jack he then because you know, he
was like a big alcoholic and doing like very nefarious. Obviously, um,
he didn't seem to be too cautious about the hole
he was also at this point he had been like
(09:02):
sentenced to death for thieving, so he should have maybe
kept a discard up, but what he did instead was
he robbed this pawn shop and then he was like
walking around town wearing these like really fancy clothes, Like
he was wearing like a black silk suit, and he
had a sword in all these rings. And they had
these two mistresses he had been hanging out with, and
he finally was arrested again and he was like blind drunk,
(09:25):
and then they put him in like another cell where
they like chained him down with like three hundred and
fifty pounds of like irons and stuff, and then at
that point he couldn't escape. But also then like he
was already this was all happening in seventeen twenty four,
and so like he was becoming very popular, like after
his second escape, people were like this motherfucker as cool
as hell, you know, because he came from a poor
(09:45):
family and so he was like became the symbol for
like the lower class and everyone was like really on
his side. But unfortunately, the fifth time he was arrested,
he was unable to escape. He tried several times, but
it just didn't work. But it was also funny because
while he was in prison, like rich ladies would like
come and they would like pay money to like come
look at him, you know, because they're like, this guy's
so well, you know, Okay, that's interesting. Yeah, so this
(10:11):
story is kind of kind of what happened next is
very similar to that time I was talking about that
lady Elizabeth Brown Rigg who had killed her apprentice in
eighteenth century London. So he was yeah, yeah, yeah. So
he was also sentenced to hang at Tyburn, which was
like the famous gallows at that point. But he was
(10:31):
super popular and so like two hundred thousand people allegedly
came out to come see him get hanged, and that
was at the time that was a third of the
population of London Lord and also usually they would hang
a bunch of people at once, but they were just
going to hang him by himself because you know, he
was so high profile or whatever. They were like, how's
he going to escape this one? How's he gonna escape?
(10:52):
And like he did have a plan. He had several
plans that we're all thwarted. And then his final plan
was that they were going to let him hang and
then his friends, like after he got hanged, they were
going to cut him down and they were going to
rush him to a doctor to try to revive him,
because sometimes people would survive a hanging, and because he
was small, that meant, you know, there's going to be
less pressure, so it was more likely that he was
(11:13):
gonna not that it's likely that you were going to
survive a hanging, but it was like more likely that
you would survive because your weight is not able to
kill you, so you're just like immensely suffering or whatever,
or it just takes you a long term to die.
The problem is that everybody else who was there and
the crowd also knew that, and they're like, hey, we
need to be great to this guy. We need to
(11:34):
give him a quick death. So when he was hanged,
everyone like pulled his legs down so he would die
faster so it wouldn't be Yeah, I mean, they're trying
to be helpful, but that also like thwarted their plan.
But their plan was also probably not going to be
successful anyway. So alas he couldn't be revived, there was
no revival. But wait, there was there was some sort
(11:56):
of a revival. Okay, Basically, it was reported that when
he was hanged, he after he died, he got a boner. Okay,
here's where the boners come in. Okay, that's right. It's
a hanged man's boner. Or maybe he was a hung
man's boner. I don't know. I don't know what he had. Okay,
(12:19):
that wasn't reported, just a hairline, just as hairl But people,
I mean, there was this one documentary that apparently repeatedly
said like, yes, he had a boner after he died.
But the thing is, this is apparently very common for
people who get hanged. At some point they were saying,
like within London, like one and three people who were
hanged would have a boner. Of dudes, they would get
(12:40):
a boner after they were hanged. Oh goodness. So just
because I guess it like feels really good. No, And
this thing is called it's called a death erection or
they also call it angel lust. Cute cute little name
for it. And what they're thinking that kind of happens.
It's like the pressure on the Sarabelle. I'm like from
(13:01):
the noose. And this is also like associated like people
who don't die. This is all dis associated with people
who have spinal cord injuries or sometimes you will just
randomly get a boner, and that's also called priapism, which
is where you get like a boner for too long,
and usually it's not coming from like sexual stimulation, So
it's a thing where people sometimes they just be having
(13:22):
boners out of nowhere, a nowhere boner painful, that sounds uncomfortable, Yeah,
And also priapism is named after the Greek god Priapus,
who was the protector of male genitalia. Basically, he had
been cursed by hara Zeus's wife to have inconvenient impetus,
(13:45):
so basically he would never be able to get aroused
when he wanted to, but then all the rest of
the time he was cursed of like having a huge
boner erection. So what a joker she was, is what
a silly gal? Yeah, And then so Priapus was like
thrown down to earth and he was obviously really mad
that he couldn't of you know, sex when he wanted to.
(14:07):
And this one time he tried to rape this other goddess,
but then this donkey I started braying and so she
woke up, so he wasn't able to do that. Um,
and that's why he hated donkeys. And he was like, yeah,
you sacrificed donkeys to me because they got in my way,
got in the way of my rape. So pri a puss?
(14:28):
What a guy? What a guy? Yeah? And also I
mean this can happen to women too, where you like
get horny by accident and you don't want to and
that's called pria pussy. Um no, it's not, it's not,
but that was fun for me to say, you're silly
with hanged women. It does happen where it's just like
you're parts of your vagina can get engorged and sometimes
(14:52):
like people have seen like redness in the labia and
then also like um, sometimes you bleed from your vagina
when you get hanged. So oh my gosh. So I'm
just saying if anyone's kind of like, you know, you're
kind of like a private person and you're getting hanged
like with dudes, I would suggest like maybe wearing some
loose clothing, you know, probably like don't get hanged in
(15:12):
like a latex suit or people will see, you know,
your boner. You know, maybe just a loose pant will
be good for you. Just some advice heard her, good
to know. And also like when Nico, you know, during
that story with Elizabeth Nico was talking about how like
people would go and like touch dead men after they're
hanged for like medicinal purposes. You know, people obviously also thought,
(15:34):
you know, these boners were good luck. So there have
been a few cases where they were chopped off and
people got to have the boners and they were And
there was this museum in London that recently acquired an
eighteenth century boner and I am furiously google it and
(15:55):
it's funny because it was also the boner was like
pretty expensive, so they had to like rent it for
like twenty five hundred pounds or something to put it
on display. So oh my gosh, I found it. Yeah,
they don't know if they don't know if it's for real,
but they're like pretty sure it's a real boner. But
you guys, yesterday I was with my best friend and
we are planning this trip to Iceland, and so we
(16:18):
were like looking at stuff in Iceland and there is
this there's a penis museum, and it's like all of
the different kind of mammal species penis and that are
in Iceland in this museum. So we're like, because we're
trying to okay, but we were like we were sitting
there and we were like, okay, I mean obviously we
go and then we were like, but wait a minute,
but then we've wasted time in Iceland at a Penis museum.
(16:41):
Question mark not wasted time, dude, I used successfully. Also,
this boner almost made me throw up. I truly almost
threw up in my in my mouth. The it is.
We're gonna post it on Instagram, but we're gonna we're
gonna end up being reported, but we'll post on Instagram. Anyways,
did you drop because the Maji gag, you know, like no,
(17:02):
it literally I it's vany okay black and like, um,
you can see some redness in like the veins where
like Paria blood was. It's rock hard. But I personally
I'm not into it. Yeah, thank you, but I mean
that's thing they haven't verified, you know, how real this
boner is, so we don't know just yet. Um great,
(17:27):
but uh, priapism is something that does be happening. And
this one little last thing I want to say is
that it can also result or the death erection can
also result from other injuries you might have, particularly ones
that affect the spine. And one last thing I will
say is that there was a lot of art during
the Renaissance period that portrayed Jesus Christ as having a
(17:49):
big ass boner in the resurrection. A lot of that
was suppressed by the Church obviously because they don't want
to be seen. Also, baby Jesus awesome had Like baby
Jesus would have like a big dick too, and like
a lot of this art, and so you know, maybe
like a crucifixion or like him being resident, you know,
(18:11):
maybe he had a bone or two when he came back.
I don't know. Apparently these Renaissance people thought that was
the case. I mean, they're trying to be like, let's
show his humanity. Um, and I guess humanity is having
a boner. So yeah, apparently humanity means you're well endowed. Yeah, humanity.
I guess all of my exes aren't human. No, I'm
(18:32):
just kidding, um, very but yeah, but talk about let's
talk shit about our exes this episode. But yeah, I
just think it's there was this dude though, who wrote
a whole book about Jesus boners in Renaissance art. And
you know it's like some dudes will just like write
(18:52):
a whole book about Jesus Jesus's Boner when they could
just like go to therapy instead. But you know, and
you can find that book at CADAH. It was written
by Gabby Watts m when I was four years old.
So yeah, okay, that's the the Hanged Man's Boner. Thank
you story. That was fantastic. I feel like we're all
(19:15):
the wiser now. Yes, thank you for that. We'll be
right back. Welcome back everyone. I hope you still are
still listening. Gabby was very kind to send me a
ted talk to further elaborate on some other strange medical phenomena.
So orgasms yay. So apparently there's this spot on the
(19:40):
lower part of your back that, if stimulated, can result
in an orgasm. And so this area is the sacral nerve,
which is send me the link. It gets yeah, it
gets better. So it's called the sacral nerve and it
is located like in the lower part of your back
and it descends down into the pelvis. So I was like, okay,
(20:00):
that's interesting. So then I come across this woman's video
that's that she was like with this guy and he
started kind of like rubbing her lower back with like
the palm of his hand and she was like, okay,
this is great. Love this. And so apparently she was
like how did you do that? Where did this come from?
(20:21):
And so he was like, yo, I learned it in
like Kamasutra or whatever. And so so apparently there's this
spot in the lower part of your back then that
can help you to orgasm if stimulated properly. Nice. Yeah,
So in two thousand and four, there was this woman
who went to the doctor for chronic back pain. So
they did us They were like doing this study and
(20:43):
so they did this spinal cord stimulator thing that was
surgically placed in her lower back area. It's like the
size of a pacemaker and like you have this remote
control that triggers these electrodes, which successfully reduced her back pain.
Oh no, but oh no, I'm scared. When they tried
it there, the doctor was like, okay, she likes and
(21:05):
moaning and like hyperventilating, and so she like stopped it
and she was like, what's going on, and she said,
please teach my husband how to do this. And so
they basically put a vibrator in her back. Yeah, so
her brain basically, so it reduced your back pain too.
She was like back pain less of a thing, and
(21:27):
then but her brain interpreted it as also an orgasm,
so they decided to call this device the orgasmatron. Oh
my gosh us yeah, because I mean it can like
there's all these you know when you like you like
I don't know, say, like you pull a hair or
(21:47):
something on your leg, but then like you feel it
somewhere else. It's crazy, you know, no fucking idea what
you're talking about that, But yes, I hear you. No,
like if you have yeah, if like with acupuncture and
stuff where you have like different pressure points in your
body and like being like acupunctured, you can then like
that changes things up here, you know shit like that.
(22:09):
What if that happens like at the chiropractor though, like
he's chiropracting you and then and then does the orgasmic
sacral whatever. I don't think. No, I'm gonna put it
on TikTok, dude, trust the chiropractor. They're all over TikTok.
That's actually true. And they're all super buff for no reason,
and they're all just like really like, BROI dudes, we're
gonna back or she's like and then they're just like
(22:32):
we're gonna keep doing it anyway, So the orgasmatron there,
we have it. Okay, so this device has actually been
approved by the FDA for bladder problems in back pain,
but side effects orgasm. But literally you have this like
remote control that like turns it on or off. So
you can literally have this remote control that triggers an orgasm.
(22:56):
And so anyway, so back to this ted talk that
Gabby scent Um was with Mary Roach, and she suggested
that an instance is where a person has died but
is on a ventilator, you know, to keep organs alive
for like transplant and stuff. Suggested that you could give
a cadaver an orgasm by stimulating this sacral nerve. So
(23:20):
I'm talking about but like it, see it's seemingly somehow
probably related to this um hanging boner problem, right perhaps
is it a problem? I mean, I don't know. Basically
we're talking about boners from the great beyond yea. So
(23:42):
so anyway, so Mary wrote she like suggests this, and
she's like we should do a study, and they're like, okay,
you get that approved. Like I'm not going to do that. Like,
so so anyway, to be completely clear, it would be
with the orgasmatron right, not like with someone's hands, just
like jacking a corpses. No, yeah, no, no no, it
(24:02):
would be to massage the sacral nerve or use okay, yes,
not like okay, I love the scientific language. You just
use jack the cadavers, cock or whatever. No no, no, no,
no no, no no JCC. That is like, if you are
applying for research for this topic, that's probably not the
(24:22):
language you should use. All this actually this ted talk Gabby.
I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, you're
gonna stress me out with this, but it was actually
very interesting. She had She explained a few different instances
of people having unique orgasmic situations, if you will. Another
one that she had mentioned is this woman who sadly
(24:43):
or not sadly, I guess depends on how you look
at it. Every single time she brushed her teeth, she
got an orgasm. I digress, Mika, feel free to change
the topic if you will with I'm so ready to
change the topic. I have a story. I have a
story that does not involve Dix unless you're talking about
men in general, because then it doesn't ball dis Okay,
(25:06):
So we're going back to the year sixteen twenty Yes, Pleo, Italy,
where this woman called Julia Tofana was born. Yes, we're
going all the way back now. Not much is known
about her upbringing other than the fact that she grew
up around apothecaries and became very knowledgeable implants and herbs
and medicines, and she worked with her mother. She was
(25:28):
a witch? She no, Okay, well, I mean maybe, but
who knows but her mother She also knew a lot
about oh my god, potion making, so I guess maybe
they were witches. Okay, anyway, now this became even more
apparent when her mother poisoned her husband and obviously Julia's
dad in sixteen thirty three, when Julia was only thirteen
(25:50):
years old. Sad, so she was sentenced to swift execution,
which left Juliet orphand but not to worry, because thanks
to her time with her mom at the apothecaries, she
had all the tools that she needed to take care
of herself and kind of throw five. And so she
started a cosmetics business which ran successfully for twenty years.
(26:11):
Good for her, yeah, girl, exactly. She got married, she
moved to Naples, She had a daughter. She eventually became widowed.
She killed her husband and was very successful and in
demand in her career. And this specifically was because she
wasn't just selling makeup, you guys. She was selling a
(26:34):
poison that either her or her mother invented, and she
named it aquatofana. Love that a great name. Isn't that
a great It's a sexy name. I mean that's good
to have. Also, like that passive income, you know, along
with the big cosmet you have, like the other small business.
And the point that makes sense exactly. It was this odorless, colorless,
tasteless and deadly concoction. It left no trace in victims organs,
(26:59):
making it the perfect murder weapon and made her very
very well off. This was at a time when financial
independence for women was very rare, and she was just
thriving with her daughter and herself selling this poison. I'm
like so proud of her. You know. Um At was
made up of some arsenic lead and deadly nightshade, which
(27:20):
is this toxic plant. Also really cool name. I like,
love all these names. I'm so happy about it, seri
esthetically pleasing. And the really cool thing about it too,
is that the symptoms were really slow to come about
and they involved vomiting and agonizing pains in the stomach.
But the symptoms were also spread out over a couple
of weeks, so it made it seem very normal, like, oh,
we live in you know, the sixteen hundreds, it's normal
(27:42):
to die, exactly a lot to die. It is normal
to die the sixteen hundreds and to die period. We
all die. That's true. Also, if it does, if you like,
that means you just like don't know what could have happened,
because if it's because like if it's immediate, you're like,
who's the people immediately around me? And shit? But exactly
(28:04):
it was very well thought out. Yeah, it was very successful. Now, obviously,
Italy in the sixteen hundreds was going through the Renaissance period,
so it's a very enlightened time. It was fueled by
a love of art and architecture, beauty, literature, all that
good stuff. But women for the most part, yeah, and murder.
(28:25):
But women for the most part were still obviously treated
like objects, and they were expected to be quiet and
look pretty and not in a kinky way, in a
degrading way. Women's prospects were very limited. Obviously. They either
got married, became sex workers, or were widowed, and this
happened to women of all classes. Obviously, abuse within the
(28:46):
household was common, and it was kind of like, oh,
boys will be boys. It was very normalized. But Julia
was not having it. Okay, girl bosses don't have that.
That's not okay. She sold the poison in Naples and
later in Rome, and she would package it in glass
bottles with a photo of Saint Nicholas on the front
of it and labeled it Manna Saint Nicholas a bari,
(29:06):
which was a popular blemish ointment at the time. She
used a photo. How did she have a photo back then?
Or I think she like probably engraved it like Saint
Nicholas or something like that. I just I saw the
bottles though, they're really pretty. I also like how that's
like some discreet packaging too. I appreciate. Oh yeah, so cool.
And then she also sometimes converted the poison into powder,
(29:27):
and she would sell it in little compacts for women,
like little blush compacts, so you could do the thing
where you like open it and you could just like
blow it onto people, Like exactly, how did she so
when you got said compact, what would you do? Just
scrape a little bit into their soup. Yeah, well that
was more for like yourn. So with the compact, I
(29:50):
think that was more for hidden purposes. So like she
would do the compacts to not attract any idea that
it was a it was a poison. And then they
would put the powder actually usually into soups funny enough
or drinks or whatever you want for their husbands. And
then if it was the ointment, that would come in
liquid form and they would put just a couple of
(30:10):
drops here and there in the foods. And she said
they could dilute it, so like put it in like
a big soup or whatever and just give it to
them over a course of some weeks or some days
or whatever, or do like a big dosage, but just
make sure your soup is very flavorful. Question, So you think,
do you think if a man was like, I have
(30:31):
this little blemish and I want to like sneak into
my wife's makeup to try and like cover it up.
What if he like accidentally like used it and then
like killed himself. I mean, there aren't any recorded cases
of that, but I would not be surprised if it happened. Yeah,
or like a quirky story where it's like you know,
she's selling the compacts and then she likes mixes them
(30:52):
up and she's like, I don't know if it is
this the poisoner, is this the makeup? And it's like,
oh no, yes, well, I mean that probably did happen
at some point. But also the sixteen hundreds, as I said,
dying was all now it's just not in fashion. It's
just not as fashionable anymore. But yeah, so she would
hide it really really well, and so these wives husbands
(31:14):
never thought to check on, you know, the wives vanities,
tables and stuff, because the poison was perfectly hidden in
plain sight and it was easily available, and it was
really cute. Okay, I think the package is adorable, and
we're posting a picture of it because it's cute. And
then she also had a soft spot for women in
dire financial circumstances, so she'd sometimes just give the poison
(31:34):
away to women who needed it, which is really great.
Third rule of girl bossing give back. She had a
really tight circle. I know, she does seem sweet. She
had a really tight circle of women who helped distribute it,
including her daughter and a Catholic priest, and lots of
women knew about it, but never said anything because they
were super grateful for her, and they were like, yeah,
(31:56):
you know, she was able to free me from my
terrible marriage but still get the you know, the money
from the man and all that sort of stuff, which
is great. And she actually did this for fifth years,
which was very impressed. That's a long time. It is,
especially on a time where death was popular. Yep. So eventually,
and then she was killing so many people too, Yeah, exactly.
(32:18):
So Eventually, a woman who was about to kill her
husband with a bowl of soup, she regretted it, and
she began yelling at him and telling him not to
eat the soup, and he became very suspicious of her, obviously,
and started beating her until she told the truth, girl,
you should have killed him. The woman was arrested and
tortured until she finally spilled the beans. But by then
Julia already knew what was happening, and she fled to
(32:39):
a church for sanctuary. The church took care of her
and wouldn't allow the authorities in. Remember this was a
time when the church was also very powerful, so she
kept the operation going with nuns distributing the poison. Yes queens, yes, queens,
but sadly, a rumor started going around that she had
poisoned the water supply, which was not true. Why would
(33:00):
she do that? And the church was invaded and she
was arrested, and then after being tortured, she confessed to
killing over six hundred men between sixteen thirty three and
sixteen fifty one. She was executed along with her daughter
and three other women in her circle. And that's what
happens when you girl boss too close to the sun. Woyeah,
(33:22):
that's a good lesson for us all. Yeah, absolutely be
a girl boss. Been not too much of a girl
got too much, like just kill like three hundred people,
you know, like, yeah, you're trying too hard a little exactly,
six hundred is a little excessive, you know. But you know,
she broke the glass ceiling. So proud, very inspired. I'm
very inspired too. Thank you, Nika. That was wonderful. We'll
(33:45):
be right back. Welcome back all. You could have her pals,
So good news. Makeup is really, as far as we
know no longer Dadley, Um, thank goodness, because well some
of it can like irritate your skin, that's true, but
Dudley less so. But obviously back in the medieval times
(34:07):
and same as now, it's no surprise why people did this.
It was to basically look younger and to attract a
mate and whatnot. Even men would use it a mate.
That's what they used to do it for. That's whenever
I put eyeliner on, I'm like, I'm ready to attract
my mate now. But now it's just we obviously we
(34:30):
use it for ourselves, but also to make us feel
confident and feel but I don't know. We use it
for whatever we want to use it for. But back
in the day it was only for mate attraction pretty
much to make them think that you're young anyway, but
they so. And it was also back back in the day,
you know, God was like, hey, you are given this
particular look for a reason. Do not enhance it, do
(34:52):
not cover it up. This is how this is how
you are, so deal with it. God. Wow. I know,
well the choice God exactly. But God created you as
you are and you in your partet and you shouldn't
have to do this. But then the church was like, um,
no covering up your face anyway. Women didn't listen, and
(35:12):
especially Queen Elizabeth the First and she was obsessed with
looking young. She is frequently depicted with very pale, very
pale skin. Okay, so back in the day, much of
the makeup was saturated with lead, mercury, sulfur, and or turpentine.
Other rituals included rubbing animal poo or blood on their faces. Yeah,
(35:37):
people still do that, right, They do the blood thing, right,
they do the vampire facials. That is no, but it
is not real and is it actually blood? Yes, they
take your blood and then they process it through. I
don't know what exactly they do, but basically they make
it with good nutrients and then they put it back
on your skin. So I don't like that and I
(35:59):
probably will never do that, but um I would Okay,
Well back in the day they would use like animal
blood and stuff and they would like like, hell, I
would do that too. Okay, Well anyway, fine, that's what
they did, stuff like that. But also their makeup had
lead in mercury and sulfur and stuff. That's bad. That's bad.
So anyway, Queen Elizabeth the First refused to post mortem
(36:22):
to be conducted, which I guess is an autopsy back
of the day and anyway, so they don't actually know
the cause of her death. However, they think that is
quite possibly because of her makeup. That's what got her. However,
she did die at the age of gabby are you
ready nine? Yes queen literal queen yes, which is old
(36:44):
for as we discussed, since death was so popular. Ye. So.
But back in her twenties, she contracted smallpox, which almost
took her out. She pulled through, however, left some pretty
crazy scars. So what she would do is use this
product called Venetian cyrus. Say rus, I think is how
you pronounce it. I don't know. We're probably wrong. We're
(37:05):
always wrong. We're always wrong. We love ourselves. I don't
know how to pronounce things. Sorry. So it's also known
as the Spirits of Saturn, and basically it was like
a skin whitener that was lead based and also had
vinegar because the pale white skin was super in vogue
at the time. So Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth would use
(37:28):
this religiously to cover up her smallpox scars, and at
her death it was reported that she had an inch
of this makeup caked on her face. That's a lot
to put on your face every day, an inch because
like so, lead poisoning and so they think that she
perhaps had lead poisoning. So this product caused anemia, high
(37:51):
blood pressure, abdominal pain, memory loss, muscle weakness, all kinds
of stuff. But it also discolored your skin, hair loss,
erosion of enamel on your teeth. So like what she's
putting on her face is basically just disintegrating her, and
so like it made her put on more. So I
(38:12):
guess that's what the inch of makeup was about. She
didn't even have a face by the end. Literally by
the end, she was she had very few teeth, her hair,
she was losing her hair, so she was just in
very bad shape. But so a lot of people say
that that's probably what killed her. However, there was another
(38:32):
So for her coronation ring, she didn't take off for
forty five years and it was like embedded into her skin,
and so they like kind of undid that, and they
think that she also could have gotten like an infection
or something from that, or perhaps it was cancer. They
don't really know, but they most popular that it was
the makeup that actually got to her. The okay, with
(38:54):
the coronation ring, did they just think it was infected,
Was it made of something that could hurt her or
was it. No, it's because they like tried to cut
it out of her skin, you know, and so then
you know, open wounds how they I'm sorry, this is
really gross, and it's really gross. She was just walking
around living like that. Yeah, it seems miserable anyway, So
(39:15):
I kind you guys, I mean, I get it. Smallpox though,
could really make you look pretty freaky, so you'll know,
I kind of understand where she's coming from. Yeah, exactly,
beauty kills it does. I got curious, so today's Queen Elizabeth,
her majesty, the Queen. I was like, what is her
(39:37):
makeup routine? So I googled that, you guys, it's not
it's not super spiss, it's not like confirm roomed, and
there's not like all of these super specifics. But here
is what I found. First of all, I imagine she
would smell so lovely and clean and whatnot. And so
she uses a or reportedly a rhubarb in rose bath
(39:58):
in shower gel by Molton Brown. Okay, her ou de
toilette is London, which is a white rose scent. I
figured she would go for a rose actually saying you
were talking, yeah, same makes sense. Um, And she apparently
uses Clarence, which I've never heard of, probably because it's
associated with like royal makeup. Um, and I'm not royal.
(40:22):
That's what spoiler alert, I'm not royal. You are a treasure, though, Taylor,
she's not old enough to be almost wait two more years, okay,
and then she has also reportedly the ever matt powder
is a must for her majesty. Her nail color is
(40:43):
Essie's Ballet slipper color. That's so boring. I want to
see some acrilics on her. That's some hot pink acrylics
on the Queen. You know she's not going to do that.
Does one nail color ever? Yeah, a lot of people
do that, I think. Oh true. And her lipstick though,
she uses pink variations of Elizabeth Arden, and I loved
this fact. She uses the world's hair brush ever manufactured,
(41:07):
which is the Oval Cherrywood Hairbrush, which is seventy five
dollars on Amazon if you want it. Oh my god.
But actually, shockingly, all of these products are relatively affordable
so you can look and smell just like her Majesty,
the Queen. Oh yeah, I definitely want to look just
like her, because, like you know, my curlic nails. I
(41:27):
need my curlic nails. Then I need my tangle teaser too.
I don't use this oval whatever. What does a tangle teezer? Finest? Oh?
It untangles your hair. It's such a good brush. Okay,
where you supposed to brush your hair? Yes? Usually anyway,
thank you all for listening. If you did, fantastic Taylor.
(41:49):
If they're hearing you, they're still listening. Yeah, but fair enough. Okay, whoa,
stop the bullying. I'm not a bullying girl. I'm trying
to tell Taylor to be secure in herself. Okay. Thank
you all for listening. I know you're all so happy
that you stuck through this whole episode until next week. Bye,
(42:18):
Gooder gal Godaver Gals is a production of School of
Humans and iHeartRadio. It's hosted and produced and mixed and
all kinds of crazy things by Gabby Watts, Nika Dark,
and Taylor Church. Please follow us on Instagram in Twitter
at Cadaver Galls
School of Humans. Hello everyone, Welcome to Cadaver Gaws, the
podcast where we talk about all of the ways that
people have died throughout history to cope with our own mortality.
I'm your host, Taylor, along with Gabby Hi and Nika Hello.
Oh hello. Okay, So today we're going to hear about
(00:30):
the death of an eighteenth century thief and a murderous woman.
Oh loved one. A woman is murderous. Yeah. So today's
trigger warnings. They're intense, you guys. They include poison, hanging,
explicit talk of penis and vagina, murder, vagina, and rape penis.
(00:53):
So these are bad. Yep. Rape, that's really bad. Oh
my god. Yep, it's intense. So you've been warned. Cue
the music. Okay, we loved that music as usual. Before
(01:19):
we get into it, I'm just really curious, Gabby. I
need to know how you came across your story today.
We all have our ways of finding things, but I'm
just I just feel like you you've found this in
a weird way or something. I don't know. Uh, well,
I googled Boner death, okay, and so this is how
I got to this one. You know, you do that
(01:39):
and then you look at Wikipedia for a while, and
then you're like, oh, here's something interesting, and then you
kind of like go off. You just go off, and
that's what happened. That's our very journalistic way of researching. Great. Yeah,
and one day I will donate to Wikipedia, but it
is not this day. But you just like randomly thought
bone or death. You were like, hmm, well, I have
(02:03):
been thinking a lot about boners in space for like
this joke I've been doing. So I was like, we
already had done some space death, so I was like,
what about boner, just regular bone, because you can't get
a boner in space, which I know is disappointing to everyone.
You can, but it's very hard. It's hard to get
very hard, like like hard in the Hahaway or hard
in the It's difficult to get hard in space because
(02:25):
like your testosterone also like ladies are people with vaginas
also difficult to get around. So it's just also in space,
you just your your libido drops loots, so you don't
even want to have sex in space. So I don't
know why we're going honestly, okay, literally elon musk, think
about that. How are we going to procreate if we
cannot get horny in space. That's true. That's the thing,
(02:47):
you know, because it's like, I can't mess around with
these limp dick motherfuckers anymore. So it's actually really sad
too because I was thinking about my sexual attraction to
the aliens and alien and now that makes me sad
because I'm like, wait, would I not be horny for
them in space? Would they have to come down to
Earth to ravish me? Yeah? That's why I had to
save the planet. Is so because the best boner you
can get is on this planet. So that's my appeal
(03:09):
to people. Okay, anyway, this is this is you know,
Taylor was like, let's not have a chaotic intro, but
I'm glad it then became a chaotic post intro. So
this is actually we're going to the eighteenth century. Okay,
no space, there's no space in this just boners maybe
space spoiler space. Is there more babies? There were more
(03:34):
babies orphan children, Yeah, because people were actually horning in
the eighteenth century, but most of them like died. It's
like one in five children at this point. We're probably
dying of smallpox. So this is like seventeen early seventeen hundreds,
and we're talking about this guy named Jack Shepherd, and
he was a super famous thief. He had like a
(03:55):
great moment in like seventeen twenty four because not only
was he a thief, he also was able to escape
from prison four times. Good for him, good for fucking him.
But yeah, so he was He was born into a
pretty poor family and started working in carpentry. But then
you know, he started boozing and getting getting with the
ladies of the night, you know, as you be doing.
(04:18):
And one time at this bar he would go to,
he met this dude who was like, hey, you should
just like start stealing stuff if you want money. So
he was like, that's a great idea. Um. So you know,
he was thieving and ship. But you know, he got arrested,
right But that's when, you know, he started escaping from
prisons and he did it, as I said, four times,
which is incredible. The first time, what he did was
(04:39):
he crawled through the ceiling of his cell because it
was just like a bunch of wood. And then it
was funny because there's like a crowd that gathered around
the prison. They're like, hey, someone's escaping up there. But
he had already kind of escaped and gotten down from
the roof, and he joined the crowd and he was like, yeah,
someone's escaping. We gotta go find him, dude, Oh my god.
And then he scampered away because you know, he was
(05:01):
good at distracting people, you know, a little misdirect little
thief act there like a magician. Yeah, he was great.
And the second time, he and his lady lover, who
was a lady of the night, they both were arrested
and basically he was able to get out of the window.
And you know, he had tied all like the bed
blankets together as like a rope. And something that people
always remarked on was like he was a very small
(05:23):
dude and his lady lover was a very large lady.
So people were like, wow, he's so strong lowering his lady.
Love love that. That's great. Also, I am trying to
find pictures of him to see if he was hot.
It seemed like he sported a buzz cut at one point,
which I mean, no, he had a pony tail and stuff.
He just had like some people said, like his hairline
was really far back, but they say he was very handsome,
(05:46):
so short King life I suppose short king and lack
of hairline life and well he didn't. Well now, it's
just there was this one picture of him in prison
that someone had drawn and then someone did a print
of it a few years later, and they had made
his hairline further back, and apparently that was something people
needed to call meent on as like a historical piece
(06:08):
of evidence for something. I don't know what the evidence
is or like what the representation of a like that
hair line is, but people were talking about it. Okay,
But his third time he escaped, they were like, Okay,
this motherfucker is like good at escaping, so we should, like,
you know, do take some more precautions. But they didn't
take that many precautions. What he had done is in
the door of his cell, like at the top, there
(06:31):
were some bars, and so he was able to file
one of the bars out. And then his lady lover
and this other friend of his, two women, they came
into the prison to visit him. And what they did
was one of the ladies who started flirting with the guard,
you know, to distract him, and then his ladylover gave
him a dress basically some women's clothes, so he wore
(06:53):
the women's He put the women's clothes on and snuck
out through this bar he had filed down. And you know,
if a man is just dressed in women's clothes, you
just can't tell anymore, you know, I guess. Also, it's
like two went in and three women came out. So
I'm just like, you got the dude also to file
down some bars that would probably take some time. Like
(07:14):
they weren't checking in on him, Yeah, they weren't, I
mean because he had like filed it and then he
made sure he would like put it put the bar
back in, like you know when they were like passing by.
So and also he was able to shimmy through the
space because again he was small. He was a small
little dude. The fourth time, they were like, okay, let's
take this seriously, right, And he was put into this
(07:35):
cell that was called the Castle, that was like in
the center of the prison, and he was like chained
in irons and he was like chained to the ground
and stuff. But he like was very easy. It was
very easy for him to like get out of his
chains and he would like walk around his cell being
like nah, out of him mischievoa. He was just like
I think, like if he had any sort of thing,
(07:56):
he could like pick a lock. Basically, it seemed in
anyway for this one, he like somehow like was able
to like scurry through a chimney at some point, and
then he would like go back through the prison. He
was like, oh, I need to go back to my
cell to get some things now. So I mean he
was just like walking around and just like he got
escaped again and then he like got on top of
the roof of the prison, jumped to a neighboring house,
(08:18):
broke into the house, just like walked through the house,
nobody noticed, and then just like went to go you know,
thieving and whoring, so very different just like my ex.
I think, I'm not kidding. I really think my ex
is like the reading cart down to the same name,
literally small, mischievous, same name like charismatic, ah, and you
(08:41):
are just a large lady of the night, you know.
But then anyway, Jack he then because you know, he
was like a big alcoholic and doing like very nefarious. Obviously, um,
he didn't seem to be too cautious about the hole
he was also at this point he had been like
(09:02):
sentenced to death for thieving, so he should have maybe
kept a discard up, but what he did instead was
he robbed this pawn shop and then he was like
walking around town wearing these like really fancy clothes, Like
he was wearing like a black silk suit, and he
had a sword in all these rings. And they had
these two mistresses he had been hanging out with, and
he finally was arrested again and he was like blind drunk,
(09:25):
and then they put him in like another cell where
they like chained him down with like three hundred and
fifty pounds of like irons and stuff, and then at
that point he couldn't escape. But also then like he
was already this was all happening in seventeen twenty four,
and so like he was becoming very popular, like after
his second escape, people were like this motherfucker as cool
as hell, you know, because he came from a poor
(09:45):
family and so he was like became the symbol for
like the lower class and everyone was like really on
his side. But unfortunately, the fifth time he was arrested,
he was unable to escape. He tried several times, but
it just didn't work. But it was also funny because
while he was in prison, like rich ladies would like
come and they would like pay money to like come
look at him, you know, because they're like, this guy's
so well, you know, Okay, that's interesting. Yeah, so this
(10:11):
story is kind of kind of what happened next is
very similar to that time I was talking about that
lady Elizabeth Brown Rigg who had killed her apprentice in
eighteenth century London. So he was yeah, yeah, yeah. So
he was also sentenced to hang at Tyburn, which was
like the famous gallows at that point. But he was
(10:31):
super popular and so like two hundred thousand people allegedly
came out to come see him get hanged, and that
was at the time that was a third of the
population of London Lord and also usually they would hang
a bunch of people at once, but they were just
going to hang him by himself because you know, he
was so high profile or whatever. They were like, how's
he going to escape this one? How's he gonna escape?
(10:52):
And like he did have a plan. He had several
plans that we're all thwarted. And then his final plan
was that they were going to let him hang and
then his friends, like after he got hanged, they were
going to cut him down and they were going to
rush him to a doctor to try to revive him,
because sometimes people would survive a hanging, and because he
was small, that meant, you know, there's going to be
less pressure, so it was more likely that he was
(11:13):
gonna not that it's likely that you were going to
survive a hanging, but it was like more likely that
you would survive because your weight is not able to
kill you, so you're just like immensely suffering or whatever,
or it just takes you a long term to die.
The problem is that everybody else who was there and
the crowd also knew that, and they're like, hey, we
need to be great to this guy. We need to
(11:34):
give him a quick death. So when he was hanged,
everyone like pulled his legs down so he would die
faster so it wouldn't be Yeah, I mean, they're trying
to be helpful, but that also like thwarted their plan.
But their plan was also probably not going to be
successful anyway. So alas he couldn't be revived, there was
no revival. But wait, there was there was some sort
(11:56):
of a revival. Okay, Basically, it was reported that when
he was hanged, he after he died, he got a boner. Okay,
here's where the boners come in. Okay, that's right. It's
a hanged man's boner. Or maybe he was a hung
man's boner. I don't know. I don't know what he had. Okay,
(12:19):
that wasn't reported, just a hairline, just as hairl But people,
I mean, there was this one documentary that apparently repeatedly
said like, yes, he had a boner after he died.
But the thing is, this is apparently very common for
people who get hanged. At some point they were saying,
like within London, like one and three people who were
hanged would have a boner. Of dudes, they would get
(12:40):
a boner after they were hanged. Oh goodness. So just
because I guess it like feels really good. No, And
this thing is called it's called a death erection or
they also call it angel lust. Cute cute little name
for it. And what they're thinking that kind of happens.
It's like the pressure on the Sarabelle. I'm like from
(13:01):
the noose. And this is also like associated like people
who don't die. This is all dis associated with people
who have spinal cord injuries or sometimes you will just
randomly get a boner, and that's also called priapism, which
is where you get like a boner for too long,
and usually it's not coming from like sexual stimulation, So
it's a thing where people sometimes they just be having
(13:22):
boners out of nowhere, a nowhere boner painful, that sounds uncomfortable, Yeah,
And also priapism is named after the Greek god Priapus,
who was the protector of male genitalia. Basically, he had
been cursed by hara Zeus's wife to have inconvenient impetus,
(13:45):
so basically he would never be able to get aroused
when he wanted to, but then all the rest of
the time he was cursed of like having a huge
boner erection. So what a joker she was, is what
a silly gal? Yeah, And then so Priapus was like
thrown down to earth and he was obviously really mad
that he couldn't of you know, sex when he wanted to.
(14:07):
And this one time he tried to rape this other goddess,
but then this donkey I started braying and so she
woke up, so he wasn't able to do that. Um,
and that's why he hated donkeys. And he was like, yeah,
you sacrificed donkeys to me because they got in my way,
got in the way of my rape. So pri a puss?
(14:28):
What a guy? What a guy? Yeah? And also I
mean this can happen to women too, where you like
get horny by accident and you don't want to and
that's called pria pussy. Um no, it's not, it's not,
but that was fun for me to say, you're silly
with hanged women. It does happen where it's just like
you're parts of your vagina can get engorged and sometimes
(14:52):
like people have seen like redness in the labia and
then also like um, sometimes you bleed from your vagina
when you get hanged. So oh my gosh. So I'm
just saying if anyone's kind of like, you know, you're
kind of like a private person and you're getting hanged
like with dudes, I would suggest like maybe wearing some
loose clothing, you know, probably like don't get hanged in
(15:12):
like a latex suit or people will see, you know,
your boner. You know, maybe just a loose pant will
be good for you. Just some advice heard her, good
to know. And also like when Nico, you know, during
that story with Elizabeth Nico was talking about how like
people would go and like touch dead men after they're
hanged for like medicinal purposes. You know, people obviously also thought,
(15:34):
you know, these boners were good luck. So there have
been a few cases where they were chopped off and
people got to have the boners and they were And
there was this museum in London that recently acquired an
eighteenth century boner and I am furiously google it and
(15:55):
it's funny because it was also the boner was like
pretty expensive, so they had to like rent it for
like twenty five hundred pounds or something to put it
on display. So oh my gosh, I found it. Yeah,
they don't know if they don't know if it's for real,
but they're like pretty sure it's a real boner. But
you guys, yesterday I was with my best friend and
we are planning this trip to Iceland, and so we
(16:18):
were like looking at stuff in Iceland and there is
this there's a penis museum, and it's like all of
the different kind of mammal species penis and that are
in Iceland in this museum. So we're like, because we're
trying to okay, but we were like we were sitting
there and we were like, okay, I mean obviously we
go and then we were like, but wait a minute,
but then we've wasted time in Iceland at a Penis museum.
(16:41):
Question mark not wasted time, dude, I used successfully. Also,
this boner almost made me throw up. I truly almost
threw up in my in my mouth. The it is.
We're gonna post it on Instagram, but we're gonna we're
gonna end up being reported, but we'll post on Instagram. Anyways,
did you drop because the Maji gag, you know, like no,
(17:02):
it literally I it's vany okay black and like, um,
you can see some redness in like the veins where
like Paria blood was. It's rock hard. But I personally
I'm not into it. Yeah, thank you, but I mean
that's thing they haven't verified, you know, how real this
boner is, so we don't know just yet. Um great,
(17:27):
but uh, priapism is something that does be happening. And
this one little last thing I want to say is
that it can also result or the death erection can
also result from other injuries you might have, particularly ones
that affect the spine. And one last thing I will
say is that there was a lot of art during
the Renaissance period that portrayed Jesus Christ as having a
(17:49):
big ass boner in the resurrection. A lot of that
was suppressed by the Church obviously because they don't want
to be seen. Also, baby Jesus awesome had Like baby
Jesus would have like a big dick too, and like
a lot of this art, and so you know, maybe
like a crucifixion or like him being resident, you know,
(18:11):
maybe he had a bone or two when he came back.
I don't know. Apparently these Renaissance people thought that was
the case. I mean, they're trying to be like, let's
show his humanity. Um, and I guess humanity is having
a boner. So yeah, apparently humanity means you're well endowed. Yeah, humanity.
I guess all of my exes aren't human. No, I'm
(18:32):
just kidding, um, very but yeah, but talk about let's
talk shit about our exes this episode. But yeah, I
just think it's there was this dude though, who wrote
a whole book about Jesus boners in Renaissance art. And
you know it's like some dudes will just like write
(18:52):
a whole book about Jesus Jesus's Boner when they could
just like go to therapy instead. But you know, and
you can find that book at CADAH. It was written
by Gabby Watts m when I was four years old.
So yeah, okay, that's the the Hanged Man's Boner. Thank
you story. That was fantastic. I feel like we're all
(19:15):
the wiser now. Yes, thank you for that. We'll be
right back. Welcome back everyone. I hope you still are
still listening. Gabby was very kind to send me a
ted talk to further elaborate on some other strange medical phenomena.
So orgasms yay. So apparently there's this spot on the
(19:40):
lower part of your back that, if stimulated, can result
in an orgasm. And so this area is the sacral nerve,
which is send me the link. It gets yeah, it
gets better. So it's called the sacral nerve and it
is located like in the lower part of your back
and it descends down into the pelvis. So I was like, okay,
(20:00):
that's interesting. So then I come across this woman's video
that's that she was like with this guy and he
started kind of like rubbing her lower back with like
the palm of his hand and she was like, okay,
this is great. Love this. And so apparently she was
like how did you do that? Where did this come from?
(20:21):
And so he was like, yo, I learned it in
like Kamasutra or whatever. And so so apparently there's this
spot in the lower part of your back then that
can help you to orgasm if stimulated properly. Nice. Yeah,
So in two thousand and four, there was this woman
who went to the doctor for chronic back pain. So
they did us They were like doing this study and
(20:43):
so they did this spinal cord stimulator thing that was
surgically placed in her lower back area. It's like the
size of a pacemaker and like you have this remote
control that triggers these electrodes, which successfully reduced her back pain.
Oh no, but oh no, I'm scared. When they tried
it there, the doctor was like, okay, she likes and
(21:05):
moaning and like hyperventilating, and so she like stopped it
and she was like, what's going on, and she said,
please teach my husband how to do this. And so
they basically put a vibrator in her back. Yeah, so
her brain basically, so it reduced your back pain too.
She was like back pain less of a thing, and
(21:27):
then but her brain interpreted it as also an orgasm,
so they decided to call this device the orgasmatron. Oh
my gosh us yeah, because I mean it can like
there's all these you know when you like you like
I don't know, say, like you pull a hair or
(21:47):
something on your leg, but then like you feel it
somewhere else. It's crazy, you know, no fucking idea what
you're talking about that, But yes, I hear you. No,
like if you have yeah, if like with acupuncture and
stuff where you have like different pressure points in your
body and like being like acupunctured, you can then like
that changes things up here, you know shit like that.
(22:09):
What if that happens like at the chiropractor though, like
he's chiropracting you and then and then does the orgasmic
sacral whatever. I don't think. No, I'm gonna put it
on TikTok, dude, trust the chiropractor. They're all over TikTok.
That's actually true. And they're all super buff for no reason,
and they're all just like really like, BROI dudes, we're
gonna back or she's like and then they're just like
(22:32):
we're gonna keep doing it anyway, So the orgasmatron there,
we have it. Okay, so this device has actually been
approved by the FDA for bladder problems in back pain,
but side effects orgasm. But literally you have this like
remote control that like turns it on or off. So
you can literally have this remote control that triggers an orgasm.
(22:56):
And so anyway, so back to this ted talk that
Gabby scent Um was with Mary Roach, and she suggested
that an instance is where a person has died but
is on a ventilator, you know, to keep organs alive
for like transplant and stuff. Suggested that you could give
a cadaver an orgasm by stimulating this sacral nerve. So
(23:20):
I'm talking about but like it, see it's seemingly somehow
probably related to this um hanging boner problem, right perhaps
is it a problem? I mean, I don't know. Basically
we're talking about boners from the great beyond yea. So
(23:42):
so anyway, so Mary wrote she like suggests this, and
she's like we should do a study, and they're like, okay,
you get that approved. Like I'm not going to do that. Like,
so so anyway, to be completely clear, it would be
with the orgasmatron right, not like with someone's hands, just
like jacking a corpses. No, yeah, no, no no, it
(24:02):
would be to massage the sacral nerve or use okay, yes,
not like okay, I love the scientific language. You just
use jack the cadavers, cock or whatever. No no, no, no,
no no, no no JCC. That is like, if you are
applying for research for this topic, that's probably not the
(24:22):
language you should use. All this actually this ted talk Gabby.
I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, you're
gonna stress me out with this, but it was actually
very interesting. She had She explained a few different instances
of people having unique orgasmic situations, if you will. Another
one that she had mentioned is this woman who sadly
(24:43):
or not sadly, I guess depends on how you look
at it. Every single time she brushed her teeth, she
got an orgasm. I digress, Mika, feel free to change
the topic if you will with I'm so ready to
change the topic. I have a story. I have a
story that does not involve Dix unless you're talking about
men in general, because then it doesn't ball dis Okay,
(25:06):
So we're going back to the year sixteen twenty Yes, Pleo, Italy,
where this woman called Julia Tofana was born. Yes, we're
going all the way back now. Not much is known
about her upbringing other than the fact that she grew
up around apothecaries and became very knowledgeable implants and herbs
and medicines, and she worked with her mother. She was
(25:28):
a witch? She no, Okay, well, I mean maybe, but
who knows but her mother She also knew a lot
about oh my god, potion making, so I guess maybe
they were witches. Okay, anyway, now this became even more
apparent when her mother poisoned her husband and obviously Julia's
dad in sixteen thirty three, when Julia was only thirteen
(25:50):
years old. Sad, so she was sentenced to swift execution,
which left Juliet orphand but not to worry, because thanks
to her time with her mom at the apothecaries, she
had all the tools that she needed to take care
of herself and kind of throw five. And so she
started a cosmetics business which ran successfully for twenty years.
(26:11):
Good for her, yeah, girl, exactly. She got married, she
moved to Naples, She had a daughter. She eventually became widowed.
She killed her husband and was very successful and in
demand in her career. And this specifically was because she
wasn't just selling makeup, you guys. She was selling a
(26:34):
poison that either her or her mother invented, and she
named it aquatofana. Love that a great name. Isn't that
a great It's a sexy name. I mean that's good
to have. Also, like that passive income, you know, along
with the big cosmet you have, like the other small business.
And the point that makes sense exactly. It was this odorless, colorless,
tasteless and deadly concoction. It left no trace in victims organs,
(26:59):
making it the perfect murder weapon and made her very
very well off. This was at a time when financial
independence for women was very rare, and she was just
thriving with her daughter and herself selling this poison. I'm
like so proud of her. You know. Um At was
made up of some arsenic lead and deadly nightshade, which
(27:20):
is this toxic plant. Also really cool name. I like,
love all these names. I'm so happy about it, seri
esthetically pleasing. And the really cool thing about it too,
is that the symptoms were really slow to come about
and they involved vomiting and agonizing pains in the stomach.
But the symptoms were also spread out over a couple
of weeks, so it made it seem very normal, like, oh,
we live in you know, the sixteen hundreds, it's normal
(27:42):
to die, exactly a lot to die. It is normal
to die the sixteen hundreds and to die period. We
all die. That's true. Also, if it does, if you like,
that means you just like don't know what could have happened,
because if it's because like if it's immediate, you're like,
who's the people immediately around me? And shit? But exactly
(28:04):
it was very well thought out. Yeah, it was very successful. Now, obviously,
Italy in the sixteen hundreds was going through the Renaissance period,
so it's a very enlightened time. It was fueled by
a love of art and architecture, beauty, literature, all that
good stuff. But women for the most part, yeah, and murder.
(28:25):
But women for the most part were still obviously treated
like objects, and they were expected to be quiet and
look pretty and not in a kinky way, in a
degrading way. Women's prospects were very limited. Obviously. They either
got married, became sex workers, or were widowed, and this
happened to women of all classes. Obviously, abuse within the
(28:46):
household was common, and it was kind of like, oh,
boys will be boys. It was very normalized. But Julia
was not having it. Okay, girl bosses don't have that.
That's not okay. She sold the poison in Naples and
later in Rome, and she would package it in glass
bottles with a photo of Saint Nicholas on the front
of it and labeled it Manna Saint Nicholas a bari,
(29:06):
which was a popular blemish ointment at the time. She
used a photo. How did she have a photo back then?
Or I think she like probably engraved it like Saint
Nicholas or something like that. I just I saw the
bottles though, they're really pretty. I also like how that's
like some discreet packaging too. I appreciate. Oh yeah, so cool.
And then she also sometimes converted the poison into powder,
(29:27):
and she would sell it in little compacts for women,
like little blush compacts, so you could do the thing
where you like open it and you could just like
blow it onto people, Like exactly, how did she so
when you got said compact, what would you do? Just
scrape a little bit into their soup. Yeah, well that
was more for like yourn. So with the compact, I
(29:50):
think that was more for hidden purposes. So like she
would do the compacts to not attract any idea that
it was a it was a poison. And then they
would put the powder actually usually into soups funny enough
or drinks or whatever you want for their husbands. And
then if it was the ointment, that would come in
liquid form and they would put just a couple of
(30:10):
drops here and there in the foods. And she said
they could dilute it, so like put it in like
a big soup or whatever and just give it to
them over a course of some weeks or some days
or whatever, or do like a big dosage, but just
make sure your soup is very flavorful. Question, So you think,
do you think if a man was like, I have
(30:31):
this little blemish and I want to like sneak into
my wife's makeup to try and like cover it up.
What if he like accidentally like used it and then
like killed himself. I mean, there aren't any recorded cases
of that, but I would not be surprised if it happened. Yeah,
or like a quirky story where it's like you know,
she's selling the compacts and then she likes mixes them
(30:52):
up and she's like, I don't know if it is
this the poisoner, is this the makeup? And it's like,
oh no, yes, well, I mean that probably did happen
at some point. But also the sixteen hundreds, as I said,
dying was all now it's just not in fashion. It's
just not as fashionable anymore. But yeah, so she would
hide it really really well, and so these wives husbands
(31:14):
never thought to check on, you know, the wives vanities,
tables and stuff, because the poison was perfectly hidden in
plain sight and it was easily available, and it was
really cute. Okay, I think the package is adorable, and
we're posting a picture of it because it's cute. And
then she also had a soft spot for women in
dire financial circumstances, so she'd sometimes just give the poison
(31:34):
away to women who needed it, which is really great.
Third rule of girl bossing give back. She had a
really tight circle. I know, she does seem sweet. She
had a really tight circle of women who helped distribute it,
including her daughter and a Catholic priest, and lots of
women knew about it, but never said anything because they
were super grateful for her, and they were like, yeah,
(31:56):
you know, she was able to free me from my
terrible marriage but still get the you know, the money
from the man and all that sort of stuff, which
is great. And she actually did this for fifth years,
which was very impressed. That's a long time. It is,
especially on a time where death was popular. Yep. So eventually,
and then she was killing so many people too, Yeah, exactly.
(32:18):
So Eventually, a woman who was about to kill her
husband with a bowl of soup, she regretted it, and
she began yelling at him and telling him not to
eat the soup, and he became very suspicious of her, obviously,
and started beating her until she told the truth, girl,
you should have killed him. The woman was arrested and
tortured until she finally spilled the beans. But by then
Julia already knew what was happening, and she fled to
(32:39):
a church for sanctuary. The church took care of her
and wouldn't allow the authorities in. Remember this was a
time when the church was also very powerful, so she
kept the operation going with nuns distributing the poison. Yes queens, yes, queens,
but sadly, a rumor started going around that she had
poisoned the water supply, which was not true. Why would
(33:00):
she do that? And the church was invaded and she
was arrested, and then after being tortured, she confessed to
killing over six hundred men between sixteen thirty three and
sixteen fifty one. She was executed along with her daughter
and three other women in her circle. And that's what
happens when you girl boss too close to the sun. Woyeah,
(33:22):
that's a good lesson for us all. Yeah, absolutely be
a girl boss. Been not too much of a girl
got too much, like just kill like three hundred people,
you know, like, yeah, you're trying too hard a little exactly,
six hundred is a little excessive, you know. But you know,
she broke the glass ceiling. So proud, very inspired. I'm
very inspired too. Thank you, Nika. That was wonderful. We'll
(33:45):
be right back. Welcome back all. You could have her pals,
So good news. Makeup is really, as far as we
know no longer Dadley, Um, thank goodness, because well some
of it can like irritate your skin, that's true, but
Dudley less so. But obviously back in the medieval times
(34:07):
and same as now, it's no surprise why people did this.
It was to basically look younger and to attract a
mate and whatnot. Even men would use it a mate.
That's what they used to do it for. That's whenever
I put eyeliner on, I'm like, I'm ready to attract
my mate now. But now it's just we obviously we
(34:30):
use it for ourselves, but also to make us feel
confident and feel but I don't know. We use it
for whatever we want to use it for. But back
in the day it was only for mate attraction pretty
much to make them think that you're young anyway, but
they so. And it was also back back in the day,
you know, God was like, hey, you are given this
particular look for a reason. Do not enhance it, do
(34:52):
not cover it up. This is how this is how
you are, so deal with it. God. Wow. I know,
well the choice God exactly. But God created you as
you are and you in your partet and you shouldn't
have to do this. But then the church was like, um,
no covering up your face anyway. Women didn't listen, and
(35:12):
especially Queen Elizabeth the First and she was obsessed with
looking young. She is frequently depicted with very pale, very
pale skin. Okay, so back in the day, much of
the makeup was saturated with lead, mercury, sulfur, and or turpentine.
Other rituals included rubbing animal poo or blood on their faces. Yeah,
(35:37):
people still do that, right, They do the blood thing, right,
they do the vampire facials. That is no, but it
is not real and is it actually blood? Yes, they
take your blood and then they process it through. I
don't know what exactly they do, but basically they make
it with good nutrients and then they put it back
on your skin. So I don't like that and I
(35:59):
probably will never do that, but um I would Okay,
Well back in the day they would use like animal
blood and stuff and they would like like, hell, I
would do that too. Okay, Well anyway, fine, that's what
they did, stuff like that. But also their makeup had
lead in mercury and sulfur and stuff. That's bad. That's bad.
So anyway, Queen Elizabeth the First refused to post mortem
(36:22):
to be conducted, which I guess is an autopsy back
of the day and anyway, so they don't actually know
the cause of her death. However, they think that is
quite possibly because of her makeup. That's what got her. However,
she did die at the age of gabby are you
ready nine? Yes queen literal queen yes, which is old
(36:44):
for as we discussed, since death was so popular. Ye. So.
But back in her twenties, she contracted smallpox, which almost
took her out. She pulled through, however, left some pretty
crazy scars. So what she would do is use this
product called Venetian cyrus. Say rus, I think is how
you pronounce it. I don't know. We're probably wrong. We're
(37:05):
always wrong. We're always wrong. We love ourselves. I don't
know how to pronounce things. Sorry. So it's also known
as the Spirits of Saturn, and basically it was like
a skin whitener that was lead based and also had
vinegar because the pale white skin was super in vogue
at the time. So Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth would use
(37:28):
this religiously to cover up her smallpox scars, and at
her death it was reported that she had an inch
of this makeup caked on her face. That's a lot
to put on your face every day, an inch because
like so, lead poisoning and so they think that she
perhaps had lead poisoning. So this product caused anemia, high
(37:51):
blood pressure, abdominal pain, memory loss, muscle weakness, all kinds
of stuff. But it also discolored your skin, hair loss,
erosion of enamel on your teeth. So like what she's
putting on her face is basically just disintegrating her, and
so like it made her put on more. So I
(38:12):
guess that's what the inch of makeup was about. She
didn't even have a face by the end. Literally by
the end, she was she had very few teeth, her hair,
she was losing her hair, so she was just in
very bad shape. But so a lot of people say
that that's probably what killed her. However, there was another
(38:32):
So for her coronation ring, she didn't take off for
forty five years and it was like embedded into her skin,
and so they like kind of undid that, and they
think that she also could have gotten like an infection
or something from that, or perhaps it was cancer. They
don't really know, but they most popular that it was
the makeup that actually got to her. The okay, with
(38:54):
the coronation ring, did they just think it was infected,
Was it made of something that could hurt her or
was it. No, it's because they like tried to cut
it out of her skin, you know, and so then
you know, open wounds how they I'm sorry, this is
really gross, and it's really gross. She was just walking
around living like that. Yeah, it seems miserable anyway, So
(39:15):
I kind you guys, I mean, I get it. Smallpox though,
could really make you look pretty freaky, so you'll know,
I kind of understand where she's coming from. Yeah, exactly,
beauty kills it does. I got curious, so today's Queen Elizabeth,
her majesty, the Queen. I was like, what is her
(39:37):
makeup routine? So I googled that, you guys, it's not
it's not super spiss, it's not like confirm roomed, and
there's not like all of these super specifics. But here
is what I found. First of all, I imagine she
would smell so lovely and clean and whatnot. And so
she uses a or reportedly a rhubarb in rose bath
(39:58):
in shower gel by Molton Brown. Okay, her ou de
toilette is London, which is a white rose scent. I
figured she would go for a rose actually saying you
were talking, yeah, same makes sense. Um, And she apparently
uses Clarence, which I've never heard of, probably because it's
associated with like royal makeup. Um, and I'm not royal.
(40:22):
That's what spoiler alert, I'm not royal. You are a treasure, though, Taylor,
she's not old enough to be almost wait two more years, okay,
and then she has also reportedly the ever matt powder
is a must for her majesty. Her nail color is
(40:43):
Essie's Ballet slipper color. That's so boring. I want to
see some acrilics on her. That's some hot pink acrylics
on the Queen. You know she's not going to do that.
Does one nail color ever? Yeah, a lot of people
do that, I think. Oh true. And her lipstick though,
she uses pink variations of Elizabeth Arden, and I loved
this fact. She uses the world's hair brush ever manufactured,
(41:07):
which is the Oval Cherrywood Hairbrush, which is seventy five
dollars on Amazon if you want it. Oh my god.
But actually, shockingly, all of these products are relatively affordable
so you can look and smell just like her Majesty,
the Queen. Oh yeah, I definitely want to look just
like her, because, like you know, my curlic nails. I
(41:27):
need my curlic nails. Then I need my tangle teaser too.
I don't use this oval whatever. What does a tangle teezer? Finest? Oh?
It untangles your hair. It's such a good brush. Okay,
where you supposed to brush your hair? Yes? Usually anyway,
thank you all for listening. If you did, fantastic Taylor.
(41:49):
If they're hearing you, they're still listening. Yeah, but fair enough. Okay, whoa,
stop the bullying. I'm not a bullying girl. I'm trying
to tell Taylor to be secure in herself. Okay. Thank
you all for listening. I know you're all so happy
that you stuck through this whole episode until next week. Bye,
(42:18):
Gooder gal Godaver Gals is a production of School of
Humans and iHeartRadio. It's hosted and produced and mixed and
all kinds of crazy things by Gabby Watts, Nika Dark,
and Taylor Church. Please follow us on Instagram in Twitter
at Cadaver Galls
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