October 6, 2025 • 46 mins
Camilla and Jess have ‘thoughts’ about posting protocol.
The Call it Crew debates the do’s, don’ts, and double taps of social media. Find out who checks with who for quality control and what Crew member gets post-click jitters after clicking ‘share.’
From sweaty pits to throwing fits, hear about Chris O’Donnell’s unexpected brush with a social media moment and Jess and Camilla's go-to platforms for scrolling and posting!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Lettington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Well, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It Crew, and welcome to.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Another episode of Call It What It Is.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The Social Media Edition.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, we've talked about this a little or a lot
in terms of youth right and its effect on youth
and then and then we had some conversations this week,
and then we thought we'd deep dive into like the
adultness of it all and adulting in the world with
social media. But I'm gonna lie, we use it how
(00:49):
it affects us it totally.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah. Yeah, So, well, this particular subject came from personal
experience this week. Great, So I had a moment where
you know, when you're when you're launching a show, you're
I mean I personally, just to set up how I
use my social media, I'm I pretty much mostly use Instagram.
(01:15):
I also use TikTok or I'll sometimes you know, share
the same reel or TikTok.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know on both you cross promote, I cross.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Promote, I cross pollinate. And you actually were the one
that brought me into making it fun and and having
the opportunity to put together reels that actually were a
little bit like it's me, but it's not me, Like
it's me playing a version of me, and then kind
(01:44):
of coming up with these situations where you're either you know,
picking up on a trend that is, you know, fun
and interesting and kind of like you can step into
another persona right, whether it's using another audio or whether
it's another person's idea that you're sort of dovetailing on.
And that part for me was really great because it
(02:07):
let me step out of myself because I found that
if I was only posting for me as Jessica Capshaw,
I felt a little self conscious. I felt a little vulnerable.
I felt a little bit like what who cares like?
Or what what am I posting a picture of my food? Yeah,
my interests, my kids, my work. Like it was like
(02:28):
there's just too much. So you actually were the person
that pulled in and pulled me into it and made
it fun. When I came back to Grays and we
did the Barbie video, that was like the first one
that I was this is fun and I really if
you my memory was I just did whatever you told
me to do.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You did you did?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I see it as I mean, I can appreciate the people,
and I think it's really vulnerable for the people that
are out there really truly like blogging their lives right,
and they are putting them they're.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Full authentic selves on social media.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think of my social media as an extension of
like another way of performing in a way, and it's
just fun and you get to promote and show different
sides of yourself. And you know, we both work on
you know, dramatic shows, and I wanted to be like, well,
and here's here's the comedy.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
That I like to play with too.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, I think that the podcast ends up being Camilla
showing up. But the social media, to me, is an
extension of performance.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah yeah, Camilla as an actress who plays different parts. Yes,
but you're still You're still you, right because you Yeah,
you're in charge. And that's what I think is really
important about social media is that you are in charge.
I mean, how how you decide to curate your feed,
whether it's your static feed or your stories is it's
your choice. I mean, no one's You're doing it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
But you're not going to know how I'm feeling that
week off of my reels. No, if you listen to
call at what it is. You're going to have an
idea of how I'm feeling that week. But if you're
looking at my reels, it's it's a whole different.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Medium for me, right, Yes, And when.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I look at yours, they're without artifice. I don't see
you putting anything on. I see you just having fun
and telling a story. Yes, No, so it's not I
don't think it's inauthentic. I don't think it's you know, no,
not you. I just think it's like this, this performance.
So anyways, I have been engaging in all of that,
just a little bit more and leaning into it. And
(04:35):
full disclosure, my kids don't have it. My daughters don't
have it, And and by the way, they still figure
out how, how and what is happening on there?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I don't know, because their friends probably have it and
there they work around.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, of course, yeah, do they want it? Wait, I'm
interested they what do they want?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
They want? Instagram? What the what is it that they
would want?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
The threshold line right now is being held at Snapchat.
So because that's how they that's how they communicate.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I learned this, by the way, when I was with
your children.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was like, so deeply confused, and they had to
tell me over and over again what was happening.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I was like, I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Still, yes, and that's just Luke and Eve because it
feels age appropriate for them, right, but it's not the youngers.
And we are again full disclosure or like there's a
real plan and there's a real, carefully considered amount of
screen time and exposure. I do think that there's some
(05:39):
aspects of it that are just you know, really need
to be examined by parents. And it's your choice, and
you know, you go get the information and you do
with it what you will. Anyways, so this week, yes,
you would love Instagram. Instagram. Okay, I would argue that
Instagram is probably exactly what she does not need.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
It, But truth is, we don't need any of it.
But what was it?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
What is interesting is we have we've covered this, we've
covered the teen element, and we've we've talked about like
the I have like I've pledged the oath like no, no,
and you haven't done that because yes, and you were
explaining your reasons why you didn't do that, and I
was explaining the reasons for it was pretty close by
the way, Yeah, yeah, The adulting of it, though, is
(06:23):
what we're really deep diving into. Do you want to
say sort of more on what happened this week?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Okay? So Eve finds this trend which is throwing a fit,
and she's like, I think that this is the one.
So you know, we're playing around and we're at work
and we're doing a bunch of stuff, and you know,
I pulled Chris into it, and I pulled Chris Odon
into it, and he's like, totally game to do this
this piece of it, and then we did it all
(06:49):
together and then I see the final product, and for
whatever reason, I have a completely unreasonable what would we
call it? Because I called you did it? What did
it sound like to you?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I mean it's you were over analyzing, overthinking like it
like it's like inside out like anxiety and inside out too.
It just reminded me of anxiety and inside out too.
You're like, what do you think about this? But what
about this part of it? What is part of it?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
You know?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
And it's like as an outsider, you're like, it's cute,
it's funny, it's fine, it's just posted like there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
It's all cute, you know, and.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
It's like you start to I will say, in our defense,
you are posting to a lot of people you're not
posting to.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Like Aunt Bev. And then it's you know what I mean,
like and that's all that's gonna see it. I do
you think there are elements?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Sometimes I post this is from the show and I'm like,
oh my god, what's in the background.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Is there a spoiler? Like I'm thinking in terms of that, yes,
that adds.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
To it, for sure.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
It was a side of you that I rarely see.
And You're like, I have true anxiety right now in
my world, and I was like, welcome to the dark side.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I was like, listen, you've got anxiety.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I know what that is, because when we were starting
out this podcast, by the way, you would say, I'm
not someone that has a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, yes, well, And then I got very curious. I mean,
I've gotten very curious about anxiety because I have so
many people who I love that are negotiating it, and
I want to be there for them in the best
way that I can, because evidently it's not to tell
the person who's worried to stop worrying. Yeah, that's evidently
not the right answer or to even tell them it's
(08:27):
all going to be okay. That's also not a you know,
great answer for someone who's genuinely worrying. But something rang
really true for me, which was that in that moment,
I wasn't having a worry. I wasn't having a singular worry.
It wasn't like, I'm worried about this, and that's my
body and brains natural process of letting me know that
there's a disturbance in the force and I need to
(08:49):
pay attention to it. I was worrying. I was I
was having more than one worry. And the worries were
all in the future. They were how was going to
play out, not what it was. It wasn't about the
present tense and the intent of this cute little reel
or how it came together or what it looked like
(09:10):
it was like, but what will And evidently, by the way,
this worrying and the perseverance of the worry, all those,
all those the way you don't want to go is
all the what ifs. Like as soon as you start
saying what if this and what if that, you're definitely
going down the road of just letting that worry get
bigger and bigger and bigger. So I found myself worrying
(09:33):
and in unfamiliar territory because I didn't know how to
stop the worry. And so I called you because you
also are a social media expert. And I said, as
my social media expert and my bestie, what can you
help me with this? Yeah? And what did you say?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Well, first off, I saw the reel because I thought
it was super cute before you posted it.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
And I think we should acknowledge that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
These are these, these will this is what's in I
was thinking about anxiety.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
These are not.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
World like crazy houses on fire problems, right, Oh, but
your body feels like it is. This is what I
deal with anxiety. A very tiny thing could really step
me off, where it's like this is the end.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Of the world, right, and it's not, and it's tiny
and really not and.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's and in this case, it was a social media
post and you had started to like overanalyze, right, Yeah,
And so I said to you, I know that it
doesn't help anybody to see like it's great, it's fine,
just post it, right, because you're futurizing.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
You told me that you were futurizing.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I was, and without even telling me what exactly those
futurizing things were I said to you, which we've talked
about on the pod before, ask yourself what else is true?
Because it sort of grounds you back, like okay, what
if you know, like what if the social media post
go you know, like leads to.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Blah blah blah blah, Well, what's true?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
You know?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
And so I I literally wrote out for you in
a text what I thought was all true about it,
Like why it's it's true, this is a cute post.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
What else is true? You have to promote your show?
What else is true?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
You look great, Chris looks great, Like it's fun, it's light,
there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
And so we broke it down. And then I think
that it helped.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
It absolutely helped because it brought me back to the
present tense, and it brought me back to I was
going into I'm wrong or I could be wrong or
I or you know, I mean to put a finer
point on it, you know, I think it was like,
do I look like a big old ing dong? Do
I look like I'm taking myself seriously? Do I look
(11:35):
like that was like a big one for me? Do
I look like I'm taking myself seriously? And I think
I'm all that I've been a bag of shifts, you know,
walking down and also by the way, throwing a little
let them. You can't control it, right, once you put
stuff on social media, you can't control what the comments are.
You can't control how someone sees it, and it's not
yours to to do that, right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I also do think I want to give you some
credit for this, for feeling this way, because I also
do think that when you're like twenty two, strut in
your stuff and like a black it's like, oh, yeah,
she's young, she's feeling herself, and there is and we've
talked about this, there is and I hope hopefully it's
not it's it's we're all steering away from this. But
I do think there's a party of where it's like
(12:16):
I'm getting older, like I'm in my forties, like, and
I'm feeling myself, Like can I feel myself?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Does it look lame that I'm feeling myself?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But I but I feel like there is this element
of that in it too. It's like a layer right
right as a female, which I really don't like. I
hope we're strutting like that in a short dress at eighty.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Just yes, and.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
We will be. We will be arms linked wherever we are,
whatever fabulous place we've gone to. I mean that's what
I want for us.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I think does it manifest for you physically, because we
haven't talked about you having an idea.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
I feel like this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I like my somatic response is instance, sweaty armpits. Yeah,
it's real sexy, it's instant sweaty armpits. And then I
think I feel it in my stomach and my chest.
Yeah yeah, and it's weirdly linked to it always goes
back to the same thing, which is like have I
done something wrong?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
And it's like, yes, what what?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Why? What? Why am I bringing that in? So it's
interesting because we started with saying social media can be
this incredible expression, and for us it can be these
moments where we can not just perform at work, or
we can be in charge of a performance, or we
can curate and find funny, cute little ideas that we
then take on and make our own. And that is
(13:40):
really fun. And as someone who enjoys, you know, going
on for a scroll, I really love finding the humor
on Instagram. I mean, I think there are some incredible
mediums out there that think of things and do things
in way.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I think that like humanity is hysteric. That's what I've
learned from That's my favorite thing I've gotten from social media.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Humanity is looking funny.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Oh and you don't have to be you know, there
isn't Well doesn't feel like to me and the things
I'm watching, it's not the funny parts. For me, it
has nothing to do with status. They have nothing to
do with who you are. It's how you're doing it right.
You're either making someone laugh or you're not. It's not
about you know who you were when you did it.
(14:24):
I mean, it's it's really just and then and then
of course there's the animal content and also that little
tiny chef. He's so funny.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
You love it?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, But I think that that's the thing that I
just love, love love.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I think what was so interesting about the conversation we
had after you were feeling this way because we had
a different episode kind of we're thinking, different episode being
planned today, is that we it suddenly occurred to me like, wait,
I never hear about the social media anxiety for adults, right,
(15:12):
And I was like, let's deep dive into that because
we hear about it. We've talked I'm repeating myself, we've
talked about it for the kids, but like, oh my god,
it's it's giving adults anxiety too, and what does that
look like? So we did some deep diving for this episode,
and what would you guess without looking just how what
(15:35):
a percentage of adults in the US use social media?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Do you know this already?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I read it once, but I well, I did read
it once and I remember it being around sixty five percent.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Sixty nine yeah, yeah, yeah, yea yeah. So that's a
lot of people.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And social media has been linked to obviously poor sleep,
memory issues, and academic or work struggles. What I found
the most interesting is this article from May first, twenty
twenty five the Northeastern Global News, and it talked about
a study in which thirty five thousand participants were randomly
(16:12):
assigned to deactivate Facebook or Instagram for six weeks versus
a control group, and they showed very clear, significant improvements
in their happiness, depression, anxiety, and deactivation was about fifteen
percent of Facebook and twenty two for Instagram.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And it was as effective. This blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It was as effective as average psychological interventions like CBT
or mindfulness, just deleting, just deleting it. And here's what's crazy,
because we're talking about adults on social media having anxiety.
The benefits from deactivation were more pronounced in users over
thirty five.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And I don't know why that is.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I want thinking.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I so it's not woven into our DNA in the
same way that like the youth, yeah is experiencing right now.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
But we didn't grow up with the tiny screens that
had We.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Didn't grow up with the tiny screens, We didn't grow
up with the tiktoks of the instagrams. So I think
that maybe it's that maybe it frees us back to
like feeling a little more old school. What's your because
that was so fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I mean I do
as a mainstay in my whole life, no matter what
department you're talking about, I do always find myself attracted
to the middle like reduction not abstinence in pretty much anything. Yeah,
and again I would I would say, or I would
(17:50):
report that when I use social media mindfully, and that
means to me, you know, I don't know, cumulatively twenty
to thirty minutes a day, like not more than that
a day. I'm I'm good to go, but I mean
(18:11):
that requires discipline, that requires me putting on a timer,
because it can go like that. And I've done the
other where I just you know, I mean, here I
am on, you know, working again, and you do have
downtime and if it's your lunch hour and all of
a sudden, you know, but and it completely has been
the thing that is the you know, it's rerouted where
(18:32):
I go for the filling in of space. I mean,
I love reading, and now I just carry books around
because once you pick up your phone, if you start
on one of them, it just ends up being the thing.
Also because you know all the things that they say
your phone learns you, and once it knows you, it
(18:54):
does actually give you things that are nutritive for you.
So you know, I follow who I follow and and
and they really I must confuse the system because it
is everything from you know, the claimation tiny chef to
you know, animal animal follies and then like you know,
you know, doctor Peter Tilla, and then it's Brene Brown
(19:16):
and then it's you know, it's I'm so all over
the place that it gives me at my news outlets,
like it gives me all the things, and it gives
me in the bite sized morsels that we're all use,
we've all grown accustomed to taking them in as so
it's hard. So I would say, in a perfect world
(19:38):
for me, it's moderation, not abstinence, and so I and
that just has to be really looked after for me,
like I have to. I have to say this is
how it's going today, and this is how it's going
tomorrow or whatever it is, because I do know, and
I've already told this story a million times, but I can,
if left with no restriction, and you know, absolutely convince
(20:02):
myself after an hour of being on Instagram that everyone's
life is better for doing things that are way more fun.
That there are parties that I wasn't invited to, That
there are friendships that mean so much more than the
ones I have, That.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
That we should be on a yacht, a yachting.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
We should be yachting.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
I don't know why I'm doing the school run.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yes, how did you end up there?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
What is that like?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But I mean even even just the like, I remember
when it first started feeling like you know this this
this content is you know, content rains, and so you're
supposed to at every part of your life be getting
the content, which completely takes me out of being present
in any moment. Right the minute that you're filming the thing,
you're not in the thing. So that's why I do
(20:53):
it works for me to have the moderation and then
uh sort of like designated chunks where I'm like, this
is when we're going to grab a bunch of stuff,
we're gonna have a little fun, we're going to film
it all and it's going to be in this you know,
a little this period of time, and then we're going
to take all of it and we're going to figure
out what to do with it and which you know,
(21:13):
which which trends worked, which audio worked, what makes sense,
and you know, sometimes you do end up using it,
sometimes you don't. And then I think that I consider it.
That being said, that's that's just my process. So I'm
actually interested from our listeners because I think that this
actually should be in we haven't had we haven't done
this in a while. But I actually think this is
a conversation and I think that people I know that
(21:36):
people are really asking themselves questions and or struggling and
maybe getting to social media being part of the struggle.
And I would love to hear from people what they
how they do it and what what works for them.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Do you think I'm curious. I have a couple of
questions for you.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Do you think that there is as much pressure sure
on women anybody. Our age to post the life is
perfect in comparison to like the younger generations, because as
a part of me, that almost feels like there's more
in a weird way.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, I think that's also a generational difference. I think
that we were sort of grown in the era of presentation.
You know, presentation dictated whether you got the job, It
dictated whether you you know, how people saw you, I mean,
what you're what your image was. And now I think
it's that that images can be so different and there's
(22:38):
actually there's actually value in it. But that was going
to go back to this, which is that I don't
I don't feel like everything has to be perfect that
we put out or that I put out. And yet
when we're shooting something and I've already been through like
hair and makeup, and of course I'm in this altered reality.
Then that's when I at least want to make it funny,
you know, like I just don't. Maybe that was my
(23:00):
even my push pull with that particular video, like I
didn't want anyone to think that. I thought, like, Okay,
I am at work. I've already worked this morning, and
I'm already in hair and makeup, and now it's like
and now we're going we're streatting our stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But I think that that's I think that's where you.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
And I lean into.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We always lean into the comedy of it because it's
the exact opposite, like we know that we're in full
comb yeah, and like it's like we have to sort
of make fun of it a little bit, right, Yes,
I do think. I do think what's happening on social
media for our generation, and I think I don't know
where it started. Maybe it started with like the Kardashian
(23:37):
I don't know where it started. But the decorating, right
I listen, I'm ready for Halloween right now.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I do love it.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
But then for me, it's not really like the yacht
Vacasians or the diamonds that I'm like to us over.
I'm like, what do they do to their house? How
do they get that how they get that spider out there.
Everything can just can just be more elevated. Always, whatever
you're doing, there's a more elevated version that you're going
to scroll through and you're gonna want to do that, right.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, the dances, Oh my gosh, I can't the dances.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
All of it?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Oh yeah, pressed send on your post. Yeah, and again
it's just a social media post. But this is why
anxiety is so interesting. Yeah, did your anxiety lift? Were
you able to let it go? Or did you need
to like see the comments to like see if you
felt okay about it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's been the interesting thing about what I've been experiencing
lately is that and I'm gonna grow. I'm going to
learn I have faith in myself and I'm bet on
myself here. That's where the anxiety is getting me. I'm
because it's also it's it's not it's not just happening
to me, it's reported from all over from the front lines.
(24:45):
It's that there's a component of avoidance. So when you
part of the perseveration, part of the asking yourself the
what if, what if? What if? What if? Is actually
avoiding making a decision. And once you what I'm finding
is once I do make the decision and I press send,
and I've really considered it clearly because I've just almost
had it. Yeah, I've almost taken myself down in the process,
(25:06):
and I've leaned on and I've gone to I hope
you know, I think smartly and I and this is
what I'm really grateful for is the people in my
life and the support systems in my life so that
I can go to you and know that you're going
to help me. And that's the relationship piece.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I also give you a very real answer. There was
anything about any video I'd like cut.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
That, dude?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yes, Well that's also the that's that's the trust, right,
But the trust is in the relationship. And so once
I had avoided making the decision and perseverated and worried,
and then you had introduced this idea that I could
also instead of thinking what if the worst happens? What
if I flipped it and said, what if the best happens? Yeah?
(25:51):
What if this thing is? Also? What if this is true?
What if this other thing is?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
What's real in this moment? Like what are the facts?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, what's bigger than my worry? Then I was able
to see it and once I press sent, I actually
didn't have anxiety. I did not have worry. I stopped
worrying about it because I made the decision.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
So, for you, is your anxiety sitting in the in between.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yes okay, and the avoidance and the avoidance of doing
the hard thing or doing the thing, sitting in the unknown,
doing the thing that you're not sure what comes next,
because there could be a bunch of things that come
next and you're not in control of them. And I
(26:34):
we all wrestle with control. That's human. I definitely have
had like waves of wanting or feeling like having more
control would keep me in more in control. I don't
think it's been like the top note of my life.
That's not been my experience of me. That being said,
(26:55):
I don't know throw in there that we laugh about
this all the time, like if you open up my refrigerator,
it's I'm a very organized person. Is that control? Is
it not? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, this is so interesting for me because we talk.
I'm type B. Obviously we all know.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So what does a type A person that likes to
be in control about a lot of stuff when they
bump up against anxiety.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
It's just interesting hearing that experience.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah yeah, and add in that your I think that
that's maybe that that's why I got to the what
I what I do wrong is that I actually know
I'm very aware of it not being helpful. I'm very
aware that this is not good for me. And it's
not often that I will choose to do the thing
(27:43):
that I know is not good for me, and yet
in this moment, I can't control it. The thought is coming,
the worry is coming, and then the worrying is coming.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Does your anxiety manifest as a separate voice to you,
almost like devil on your shoulder kind of thing, or.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Does it take over?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Because sometimes I can literally have like I can feel
the pull of like Camilla grounded in the argument with
anxiety almost Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah, I think that I still have an understanding of
what is not right, but what is what is true?
You know, going back to your point of bringing yourself
back to what is true? I think I do. And
yet the what if, the idea of the future what
(28:31):
if is so real to me that it's it's it's
a real match, like it's a real it's a real
force that's reckoning with what I think is true. So
I become locked and as it's and sometimes overpowered, and
it's interesting because it's really unenjoyable.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte.
I'm so excited to share that I got to sit
down with incredible Bridget moynihan, who plays Natasha Bigg's wife.
She is telling stories from the very beginning, like why
she almost left the audition.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I'm calling my agents.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I'm like, guys, I have to go to the other one.
And they're like, stay for this, you need to stay
for this. I'm like, well, can't be late for the
next one.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
She shares her thoughts on the big and Carry affair.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I think I actually said out loud sometimes like no,
she was having an affair with my husband.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Let's break this down.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
And what it was like coming back to the show
when we did, and just like that.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I love that it's Natasha who is caring for her.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yes, I mean there really is that bond between them.
You can't miss this.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Do you think that you have anxiety later in life
because you know more.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I also think I probably didn't completely represent like when
I say, like, I don't think that I walk around
there aren't a ton of things that worry me or
make me. But absolutely like when the kids were younger,
like did I run?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, of course that's normal. I'm talking about what you're
experiencing now.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah. Yeah, No, I've had it before in my life.
I've had it before in my life. Yeah, I have,
I have. I mean I think I just I think
that I figured out how to write yeah, or it
was just not as strong. I think that. I think
it just I think that it goes in ways. I
(30:50):
think it is your management of it. I think that
it's it's it's something that we do have the I
want to hope that it's it's something that we do
have the ability to work through.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I wonder if that's also an element of like, you
are part of a new show that's launching, that's huge,
that's so exciting, and there's an anticipation that comes with
that that's can sometimes manifest as anxiety.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I think it's just I mean, I think it's that
whenever you're sitting in expectation.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And you're I mean, whether you're insert the thing right,
You're about to get married, you're about to host a
big party, you're going to have a big presentation. I mean,
you have this conversation with yourself about your expectation. And
I guess that's the thing is like there's a reasonable, yes,
feeling of nervousness when you're about to sure go into
(31:50):
a scene, like how will I sound? How will this
play out? Will my scene partner, you know, pick up
on what I'm picking up? Will they give me something?
Like all the things? And that actually I think is
fuel for perform for doing well wherever you are, if
you're in if you're a job, a deak job, if
(32:12):
you're in a home job, if you're whatever. But again,
there's this other thing that happens. And I think that
recognizing what a reasonable amount of nerves looks like versus
an unreasonable amount of nerves. And what I was experiencing
when I called you, I actually did know was an
unreasonable amount of nerves. So I could say to you,
(32:34):
I'm having this unreasonable experience and I just sort of
and you gave me exactly what I needed, which is
what is true? Like what is true, what else is true?
And also it's you know, it's the whole name entertainment.
I say it all the time because it really does help, Like,
don't be afraid to say what it is. Whatever it is, whatever,
(32:55):
if you think it's ugly, if you think it's dark,
it's just a word, right, Like I'm mad, I'm jealous,
I'm that name it and it sort of does lose its.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Umph, it does, it does. I mean, I definitely do
that with Matt. I definitely name it well because it's
there all the time. It's not there all the time.
It's not there all the time, but it helps me
to say, like, hey, I just need to say.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Right now, this is how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It's unreasonable sometimes I'll even I've been doing this about
health recently. I'm like, I just had a heart flutter,
So in my head, I think I might be having
a heart attack or an aneurysm, and I know that's crazy,
and just saying it out loud.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
And hearing the crazy helps me.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, I'm curious because obviously we don't have the same therapist,
and so when you talk to your therapist about anxiety,
what is something that is it?
Speaker 3 (33:46):
She? She she what is something that she tells you.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
To do or with some coping macnet like what is
what are your marching orders for that?
Speaker 1 (33:58):
It's not dissimilar. It's not dissimilar. It's wrapped in a
different package and it's a little bit more. Uh, it's
very straightforward. It's the it's the futurizing. When I futurize,
when I go into the what if, when I go
into the how it's going to roll out, and I
start playing out a future that has not happened yet. Yeah,
(34:20):
I don't imagine. I can, I can go to a
place where I don't imagine good results and then I
start to experience them as though they're true. And so
the advice really is about stopping that.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
So I'm wondering, like what technique she gives you, because
for me, I'm someone that like needs a technique, So
like the what else is truth makes me.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Spit out the facts of the situation.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I'm wondering if there's something because I know that I'm futurizing.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I know that I'm doing it.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
Yeah yeah, but I need like the interrupter, the like
the technique out of it, the way that the door
on the handle that get me out of here. Yes,
and that really helps me, right because then I'm forced
to the things and I'm wondering if she has.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I mean, I I've done if. It's been a bunch
of different things, and I think it's been very much
like you know, trial by error. And again this is
sort of a new ish moment. So I actually thank
you for helping me put something on my to do
list for this week's therapy. But it's, you know, so
(35:23):
far it's been. I guess it's started off as and
now it sits in what do I do when I
go to the what ifs and go to the future
and how do I interrupt that cycle? And what is?
And I think that's it helps to have like a
little bit of a mantra. I also am very curious.
I have never felt successful at meditation. Have you ever
(35:44):
tried it? No? I feel like I feel not good
at it, and I.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
You know what, I can't say that I've tried it.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I can't say that. I really I think I probably
tried it twice in my life. But like I truly
don't know how you silence your mind. Yes, that's I
don't know how happens because I'm thinking of all the things.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Yes, so there's no meditating. I'm just sitting still.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Well, but I think that's part of it. I was
asking chat about it last night. Actually tell me, I mean, well,
I mean you're picking you know, well, you also have
to pick your which which kind of meditation are you
going to focus on? And then there are teachers. But yes,
it is the it's your mind gets busy, and there
are ways of meditating. Thinking about meditating where you you
(36:30):
acknowledge that. I don't think that anyone who meditates says yes,
and I sit on my pillow and I instantly fall
into my meditative state. At least that in the beginning
is my understanding. So I think you have to work
on it. And I do think you know, the numbers
can't be wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I would find it very hard to meditate my way
out of anxiety.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I'm I'm telling myself that story too. I'm not sure
how that works. I believe, I believe people when they
say it does.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
I believe it can work.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I just I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Right. The voice is so loud for me. Yeah, yeah,
the voice is so loud for me.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Wait. I wanted to not take a U turn, but
just take a little side rock because I want to
go back to social for a second. So you so
Instagram would be kind of where the only one that
I've let into my real like rotation. You love TikTok.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I here's why I like TikTok and and I rarely
really scroll Instagram. I'm very rarely on Instagram. I love
posting on there, but it's just TikTok feels like all
the things that I watch have absolutely nothing to do
with me. They're not remotely in my world. So I
(37:44):
love it well. I love like the ones where it's like, hey,
I'm a mom of five kids, and here's what I'm
making for dinner real quick, and it's like, you know,
I'm just like so fascinated with like, okay, five ingredients
she's going to put together this thing because I can't cook,
So what is that? So I actually love it because
I feel like it's less of a slice of like
(38:04):
Los Angeles or the entertainment industry or our world and
more just maybe people live in their lives and putting
it off. There's something I'm just I don't know what
it is. I can't describe it, but I like it better.
I'm sure that's what the algorithm feeds me too. Obviously
your experience would be totally different, but I feel like
(38:27):
Instagram feels a little more shiny and curated than TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yes, yes, for sure.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
I do think it's worse though, because I think I can.
I can spend way more time on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Well that's what they're trying to do, aren't they. I
don't know who they are, but it's then.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
It does not give me anxiety though Instagram. Instagram is
the I've gone on vacation and I'm in Paris, France
wherever I'm in, can't you know? It's like and then
all the actors and their makeups, and then I'm like, well,
why is it mine?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
And maybe do I need to go blonde? Do I
need bang?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
It's like, you know, I'm all those I feel like
there's a more superficial element to it when I'm scrolling
through that makes me think, like, I don't know it.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Just I prefer the tiktoks.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
All right, Well, this is one where I really do
I'm I'm I'm committed to it. I want to know
how social media is living in all of your old lives.
If you're if you're interested in.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Sharing, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
I feel like I want to do a follow up
episode with everybody because we are always hearing about what
it does to the youth, but like, what is it
doing to the moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas
and everybody else? Yes?
Speaker 1 (39:39):
And what are the answers to these questions? What are
you interested in trying? Are you interested in, you know,
quitting cold Turkey? And do you wish you didn't have it?
And do you delete it often? I know people who
do that all the time, that will delete it for
a month and then they kind of come back to it.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I've taken it off my phone. I took X off
my phone and I never put it back on.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, that's why I'm not on there. X x X
really gave me a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It was way too mostly news outlets. Yeah, it was
just a lot of It was just a lot. I
think I felt like there was a lot of aggression
on there. And I'm sure you can find it on
any app, but it just felt like a lot to me.
I will say, what's tricky for us a little bit
as people in the entertainment industry is it feels like
(40:23):
you have to be on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and it's it's really a non negotiable for part of
your job.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yes, well, I mean I feel that way about launching
this show next week nine pm.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Do in one Nashville. But it feels like, yeah, it
feels like part of the job.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Of course it's And I think it started off with
ABC TG I T you know, scandal was they were
the ones that really.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Is Harry Washington.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
She was so great and smart.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
She made it feel joyous. It was smart, it was tight.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
It was also a different time than where it didn't
field joyous, And now it feels it's.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
It's I think that that might have been part of
my the my existential crisis.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
It was.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I really actually only want to I can say this
with total authority. I only want to put things on
social media that feel like are either or are on
some level a pathway to joy Like whether you're laughing
at me or yeah, you're laughing with me, I want
it to be joyous. I want it to be hey,
(41:29):
come look at this other thing. That's that's the only
way that I see it. So I sort of definitely,
I don't sort of definitely I reject the idea that
you that one should use social media for aggression or
any kind of unkindness.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
No, but I think back in like the t G
A T time, it was more like, hey, for the
first time ever, we can not like, you know, get
stopped on the street by fans, like we can just
like we can.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Interact with fans. Is the shows air like? How amazing?
Speaker 1 (42:01):
The live tweeting?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Right, yeah, the live tweeting, and then I think all
the other things have sort of taken over, right and muddy.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
They love live tweeting, I actually really did.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I loved live tweeting, the.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Instagram version of life watching live.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Well, I get, I mean there probably is some version
of threads, I guess, but I don't have X so
I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
You guys can't do it.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Well. I think this is a conversation to be continued.
I think that it affects us all differently. I do
think that we cannot I mean, you did, you helped me,
so I hope that we can all help each other
in it. And you know, I don't know. You don't
all have to look at it the way that I do.
But I do think that we're living in a time
where the path to joyce seems like Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
One of the reasons why I wanted to do this
episode today is because I do think the impression always
is is that like you're in the industry, you're an actor,
like obviously you're like bam posted like you know, and
you're not You're not ever second guessing, and you're not
ever really like you know, oh my god, you're not
(43:10):
getting anxiety from like hitting send or something, and it
happens to all of us Champagne problems. But like these
things are really honestly causing people anxiety. I mean, there
are studies on it. So I do want to hear
more from everybody.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
And again, as you pointed out, if it's happening to adults,
imagine what it's happening No, I know, you know, adolescent
brains that really don't have the tools to you know,
to phone the friend, to self talk to look for support.
I mean, and these are oftentimes adolescents that are living
in homes that are full of love and in communities
(43:48):
that are full of love. But then they can go
on and have this like split second.
Speaker 6 (43:55):
Full body, full mind response to this tiny little post
that it makes them feel like that post means more
than all the love and all the support in their
lives or the.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Reality of what's around them.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
The little thing that you're holding in your hand, Yes,
takes over too much from like the actual reality around
you that you're living. Yeah, this is one of those
episodes where we just really wanted to be like, hey,
this is sort of what's been going on this week
with us.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Yeah, yeah, this.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Is where we're at. This is these are the conversations
we're having.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
No joke, I you you really helped a sister out
of a jam.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
Listen, if you've got anxiety, you know who to go.
But you did.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Not to minimize that. And I understand it is not it's yes,
and by the way, of course, so do I. These
are not these are not grave problems, these are these
are the.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
But I think these are the things that are triggering
people all the time.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Is the point, the things that happen in between our ears.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
And that's what's shocking, because you're like, there's there's not
an earthquake, but.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
My body feels like there's an earthquake.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
It feels like there's an earthquake. And then think about
this is where I think you do get into how
the domino effect, you know, or what happens in the
domino effect is that that state of mind goes out
into the world and it's contagious, right, Like that person
has been made worried and worrying and they're no longer
(45:21):
in their state of path to joy and they're going
out and they're the person that's like cutting you off
on the highway. They're a person that's stepping on your front.
I'm not saying sorry. They're the person that's not holding
the door. I'm obviously making all this up, but I
just I think there's a connection.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
No, I think you're absolutely right. Yeah, it manifests into
the energy of your day, and then that affects you
an X person, that affects an next person, and there's
a cumulative.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Effect for sure.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yes, all right, we want to hear from you. This
is a to be continued to be see.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
All right, Well, let's call it the end of the episode.
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Lettington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Well, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It Crew, and welcome to.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Another episode of Call It What It Is.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
The Social Media Edition.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, we've talked about this a little or a lot
in terms of youth right and its effect on youth
and then and then we had some conversations this week,
and then we thought we'd deep dive into like the
adultness of it all and adulting in the world with
social media. But I'm gonna lie, we use it how
(00:49):
it affects us it totally.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah. Yeah, So, well, this particular subject came from personal
experience this week. Great, So I had a moment where
you know, when you're when you're launching a show, you're
I mean I personally, just to set up how I
use my social media, I'm I pretty much mostly use Instagram.
(01:15):
I also use TikTok or I'll sometimes you know, share
the same reel or TikTok.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You know on both you cross promote, I cross.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Promote, I cross pollinate. And you actually were the one
that brought me into making it fun and and having
the opportunity to put together reels that actually were a
little bit like it's me, but it's not me, Like
it's me playing a version of me, and then kind
(01:44):
of coming up with these situations where you're either you know,
picking up on a trend that is, you know, fun
and interesting and kind of like you can step into
another persona right, whether it's using another audio or whether
it's another person's idea that you're sort of dovetailing on.
And that part for me was really great because it
(02:07):
let me step out of myself because I found that
if I was only posting for me as Jessica Capshaw,
I felt a little self conscious. I felt a little vulnerable.
I felt a little bit like what who cares like?
Or what what am I posting a picture of my food? Yeah,
my interests, my kids, my work. Like it was like
(02:28):
there's just too much. So you actually were the person
that pulled in and pulled me into it and made
it fun. When I came back to Grays and we
did the Barbie video, that was like the first one
that I was this is fun and I really if
you my memory was I just did whatever you told
me to do.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You did you did?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I see it as I mean, I can appreciate the people,
and I think it's really vulnerable for the people that
are out there really truly like blogging their lives right,
and they are putting them they're.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Full authentic selves on social media.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think of my social media as an extension of
like another way of performing in a way, and it's
just fun and you get to promote and show different
sides of yourself. And you know, we both work on
you know, dramatic shows, and I wanted to be like, well,
and here's here's the comedy.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
That I like to play with too.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah, I think that the podcast ends up being Camilla
showing up. But the social media, to me, is an
extension of performance.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah yeah, Camilla as an actress who plays different parts. Yes,
but you're still You're still you, right because you Yeah,
you're in charge. And that's what I think is really
important about social media is that you are in charge.
I mean, how how you decide to curate your feed,
whether it's your static feed or your stories is it's
your choice. I mean, no one's You're doing it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
But you're not going to know how I'm feeling that
week off of my reels. No, if you listen to
call at what it is. You're going to have an
idea of how I'm feeling that week. But if you're
looking at my reels, it's it's a whole different.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Medium for me, right, Yes, And when.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I look at yours, they're without artifice. I don't see
you putting anything on. I see you just having fun
and telling a story. Yes, No, so it's not I
don't think it's inauthentic. I don't think it's you know, no,
not you. I just think it's like this, this performance.
So anyways, I have been engaging in all of that,
just a little bit more and leaning into it. And
(04:35):
full disclosure, my kids don't have it. My daughters don't
have it, And and by the way, they still figure
out how, how and what is happening on there?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I don't know, because their friends probably have it and
there they work around.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah, of course, yeah, do they want it? Wait, I'm
interested they what do they want?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
They want? Instagram? What the what is it that they
would want?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
The threshold line right now is being held at Snapchat.
So because that's how they that's how they communicate.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I learned this, by the way, when I was with
your children.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was like, so deeply confused, and they had to
tell me over and over again what was happening.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I was like, I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Still, yes, and that's just Luke and Eve because it
feels age appropriate for them, right, but it's not the youngers.
And we are again full disclosure or like there's a
real plan and there's a real, carefully considered amount of
screen time and exposure. I do think that there's some
(05:39):
aspects of it that are just you know, really need
to be examined by parents. And it's your choice, and
you know, you go get the information and you do
with it what you will. Anyways, so this week, yes,
you would love Instagram. Instagram. Okay, I would argue that
Instagram is probably exactly what she does not need.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
It, But truth is, we don't need any of it.
But what was it?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
What is interesting is we have we've covered this, we've
covered the teen element, and we've we've talked about like
the I have like I've pledged the oath like no, no,
and you haven't done that because yes, and you were
explaining your reasons why you didn't do that, and I
was explaining the reasons for it was pretty close by
the way, Yeah, yeah, The adulting of it, though, is
(06:23):
what we're really deep diving into. Do you want to
say sort of more on what happened this week?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Okay? So Eve finds this trend which is throwing a fit,
and she's like, I think that this is the one.
So you know, we're playing around and we're at work
and we're doing a bunch of stuff, and you know,
I pulled Chris into it, and I pulled Chris Odon
into it, and he's like, totally game to do this
this piece of it, and then we did it all
(06:49):
together and then I see the final product, and for
whatever reason, I have a completely unreasonable what would we
call it? Because I called you did it? What did
it sound like to you?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I mean it's you were over analyzing, overthinking like it
like it's like inside out like anxiety and inside out too.
It just reminded me of anxiety and inside out too.
You're like, what do you think about this? But what
about this part of it? What is part of it?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
You know?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
And it's like as an outsider, you're like, it's cute,
it's funny, it's fine, it's just posted like there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
It's all cute, you know, and.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
It's like you start to I will say, in our defense,
you are posting to a lot of people you're not
posting to.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Like Aunt Bev. And then it's you know what I mean,
like and that's all that's gonna see it. I do
you think there are elements?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Sometimes I post this is from the show and I'm like,
oh my god, what's in the background.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Is there a spoiler? Like I'm thinking in terms of that, yes,
that adds.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
To it, for sure.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
It was a side of you that I rarely see.
And You're like, I have true anxiety right now in
my world, and I was like, welcome to the dark side.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I was like, listen, you've got anxiety.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I know what that is, because when we were starting
out this podcast, by the way, you would say, I'm
not someone that has a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yes, yes, well, And then I got very curious. I mean,
I've gotten very curious about anxiety because I have so
many people who I love that are negotiating it, and
I want to be there for them in the best
way that I can, because evidently it's not to tell
the person who's worried to stop worrying. Yeah, that's evidently
not the right answer or to even tell them it's
(08:27):
all going to be okay. That's also not a you know,
great answer for someone who's genuinely worrying. But something rang
really true for me, which was that in that moment,
I wasn't having a worry. I wasn't having a singular worry.
It wasn't like, I'm worried about this, and that's my
body and brains natural process of letting me know that
there's a disturbance in the force and I need to
(08:49):
pay attention to it. I was worrying. I was I
was having more than one worry. And the worries were
all in the future. They were how was going to
play out, not what it was. It wasn't about the
present tense and the intent of this cute little reel
or how it came together or what it looked like
(09:10):
it was like, but what will And evidently, by the way,
this worrying and the perseverance of the worry, all those,
all those the way you don't want to go is
all the what ifs. Like as soon as you start
saying what if this and what if that, you're definitely
going down the road of just letting that worry get
bigger and bigger and bigger. So I found myself worrying
(09:33):
and in unfamiliar territory because I didn't know how to
stop the worry. And so I called you because you
also are a social media expert. And I said, as
my social media expert and my bestie, what can you
help me with this? Yeah? And what did you say?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Well, first off, I saw the reel because I thought
it was super cute before you posted it.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
And I think we should acknowledge that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
These are these, these will this is what's in I
was thinking about anxiety.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
These are not.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
World like crazy houses on fire problems, right, Oh, but
your body feels like it is. This is what I
deal with anxiety. A very tiny thing could really step
me off, where it's like this is the end.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Of the world, right, and it's not, and it's tiny
and really not and.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's and in this case, it was a social media
post and you had started to like overanalyze, right, Yeah,
And so I said to you, I know that it
doesn't help anybody to see like it's great, it's fine,
just post it, right, because you're futurizing.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
You told me that you were futurizing.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I was, and without even telling me what exactly those
futurizing things were I said to you, which we've talked
about on the pod before, ask yourself what else is true?
Because it sort of grounds you back, like okay, what
if you know, like what if the social media post
go you know, like leads to.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Blah blah blah blah, Well, what's true?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
You know?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
And so I I literally wrote out for you in
a text what I thought was all true about it,
Like why it's it's true, this is a cute post.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
What else is true? You have to promote your show?
What else is true?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
You look great, Chris looks great, Like it's fun, it's light,
there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
And so we broke it down. And then I think
that it helped.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
It absolutely helped because it brought me back to the
present tense, and it brought me back to I was
going into I'm wrong or I could be wrong or
I or you know, I mean to put a finer
point on it, you know, I think it was like,
do I look like a big old ing dong? Do
I look like I'm taking myself seriously? Do I look
(11:35):
like that was like a big one for me? Do
I look like I'm taking myself seriously? And I think
I'm all that I've been a bag of shifts, you know,
walking down and also by the way, throwing a little
let them. You can't control it, right, once you put
stuff on social media, you can't control what the comments are.
You can't control how someone sees it, and it's not
yours to to do that, right.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I also do think I want to give you some
credit for this, for feeling this way, because I also
do think that when you're like twenty two, strut in
your stuff and like a black it's like, oh, yeah,
she's young, she's feeling herself, and there is and we've
talked about this, there is and I hope hopefully it's
not it's it's we're all steering away from this. But
I do think there's a party of where it's like
(12:16):
I'm getting older, like I'm in my forties, like, and
I'm feeling myself, Like can I feel myself?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Does it look lame that I'm feeling myself?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But I but I feel like there is this element
of that in it too. It's like a layer right
right as a female, which I really don't like. I
hope we're strutting like that in a short dress at eighty.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Just yes, and.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
We will be. We will be arms linked wherever we are,
whatever fabulous place we've gone to. I mean that's what
I want for us.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I think does it manifest for you physically, because we
haven't talked about you having an idea.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
I feel like this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I like my somatic response is instance, sweaty armpits. Yeah,
it's real sexy, it's instant sweaty armpits. And then I
think I feel it in my stomach and my chest.
Yeah yeah, and it's weirdly linked to it always goes
back to the same thing, which is like have I
done something wrong?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
And it's like, yes, what what?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Why? What? Why am I bringing that in? So it's
interesting because we started with saying social media can be
this incredible expression, and for us it can be these
moments where we can not just perform at work, or
we can be in charge of a performance, or we
can curate and find funny, cute little ideas that we
then take on and make our own. And that is
(13:40):
really fun. And as someone who enjoys, you know, going
on for a scroll, I really love finding the humor
on Instagram. I mean, I think there are some incredible
mediums out there that think of things and do things
in way.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I think that like humanity is hysteric. That's what I've
learned from That's my favorite thing I've gotten from social media.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Humanity is looking funny.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Oh and you don't have to be you know, there
isn't Well doesn't feel like to me and the things
I'm watching, it's not the funny parts. For me, it
has nothing to do with status. They have nothing to
do with who you are. It's how you're doing it right.
You're either making someone laugh or you're not. It's not
about you know who you were when you did it.
(14:24):
I mean, it's it's really just and then and then
of course there's the animal content and also that little
tiny chef. He's so funny.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
You love it?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, But I think that that's the thing that I
just love, love love.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I think what was so interesting about the conversation we
had after you were feeling this way because we had
a different episode kind of we're thinking, different episode being
planned today, is that we it suddenly occurred to me like, wait,
I never hear about the social media anxiety for adults, right,
(15:12):
And I was like, let's deep dive into that because
we hear about it. We've talked I'm repeating myself, we've
talked about it for the kids, but like, oh my god,
it's it's giving adults anxiety too, and what does that
look like? So we did some deep diving for this episode,
and what would you guess without looking just how what
(15:35):
a percentage of adults in the US use social media?
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Do you know this already?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I read it once, but I well, I did read
it once and I remember it being around sixty five percent.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Sixty nine yeah, yeah, yeah, yea yeah. So that's a
lot of people.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
And social media has been linked to obviously poor sleep,
memory issues, and academic or work struggles. What I found
the most interesting is this article from May first, twenty
twenty five the Northeastern Global News, and it talked about
a study in which thirty five thousand participants were randomly
(16:12):
assigned to deactivate Facebook or Instagram for six weeks versus
a control group, and they showed very clear, significant improvements
in their happiness, depression, anxiety, and deactivation was about fifteen
percent of Facebook and twenty two for Instagram.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And it was as effective. This blew my mind.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
It was as effective as average psychological interventions like CBT
or mindfulness, just deleting, just deleting it. And here's what's crazy,
because we're talking about adults on social media having anxiety.
The benefits from deactivation were more pronounced in users over
thirty five.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
And I don't know why that is.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I want thinking.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I so it's not woven into our DNA in the
same way that like the youth, yeah is experiencing right now.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
But we didn't grow up with the tiny screens that
had We.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Didn't grow up with the tiny screens, We didn't grow
up with the tiktoks of the instagrams. So I think
that maybe it's that maybe it frees us back to
like feeling a little more old school. What's your because
that was so fascinating to me.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, I don't, I don't know. I mean I do
as a mainstay in my whole life, no matter what
department you're talking about, I do always find myself attracted
to the middle like reduction not abstinence in pretty much anything. Yeah,
and again I would I would say, or I would
(17:50):
report that when I use social media mindfully, and that
means to me, you know, I don't know, cumulatively twenty
to thirty minutes a day, like not more than that
a day. I'm I'm good to go, but I mean
(18:11):
that requires discipline, that requires me putting on a timer,
because it can go like that. And I've done the
other where I just you know, I mean, here I
am on, you know, working again, and you do have
downtime and if it's your lunch hour and all of
a sudden, you know, but and it completely has been
the thing that is the you know, it's rerouted where
(18:32):
I go for the filling in of space. I mean,
I love reading, and now I just carry books around
because once you pick up your phone, if you start
on one of them, it just ends up being the thing.
Also because you know all the things that they say
your phone learns you, and once it knows you, it
(18:54):
does actually give you things that are nutritive for you.
So you know, I follow who I follow and and
and they really I must confuse the system because it
is everything from you know, the claimation tiny chef to
you know, animal animal follies and then like you know,
you know, doctor Peter Tilla, and then it's Brene Brown
(19:16):
and then it's you know, it's I'm so all over
the place that it gives me at my news outlets,
like it gives me all the things, and it gives
me in the bite sized morsels that we're all use,
we've all grown accustomed to taking them in as so
it's hard. So I would say, in a perfect world
(19:38):
for me, it's moderation, not abstinence, and so I and
that just has to be really looked after for me,
like I have to. I have to say this is
how it's going today, and this is how it's going
tomorrow or whatever it is, because I do know, and
I've already told this story a million times, but I can,
if left with no restriction, and you know, absolutely convince
(20:02):
myself after an hour of being on Instagram that everyone's
life is better for doing things that are way more fun.
That there are parties that I wasn't invited to, That
there are friendships that mean so much more than the
ones I have, That.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
That we should be on a yacht, a yachting.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
We should be yachting.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
I don't know why I'm doing the school run.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yes, how did you end up there?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
What is that like?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
But I mean even even just the like, I remember
when it first started feeling like you know this this
this content is you know, content rains, and so you're
supposed to at every part of your life be getting
the content, which completely takes me out of being present
in any moment. Right the minute that you're filming the thing,
you're not in the thing. So that's why I do
(20:53):
it works for me to have the moderation and then
uh sort of like designated chunks where I'm like, this
is when we're going to grab a bunch of stuff,
we're gonna have a little fun, we're going to film
it all and it's going to be in this you know,
a little this period of time, and then we're going
to take all of it and we're going to figure
out what to do with it and which you know,
(21:13):
which which trends worked, which audio worked, what makes sense,
and you know, sometimes you do end up using it,
sometimes you don't. And then I think that I consider it.
That being said, that's that's just my process. So I'm
actually interested from our listeners because I think that this
actually should be in we haven't had we haven't done
this in a while. But I actually think this is
a conversation and I think that people I know that
(21:36):
people are really asking themselves questions and or struggling and
maybe getting to social media being part of the struggle.
And I would love to hear from people what they
how they do it and what what works for them.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Do you think I'm curious. I have a couple of
questions for you.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Do you think that there is as much pressure sure
on women anybody. Our age to post the life is
perfect in comparison to like the younger generations, because as
a part of me, that almost feels like there's more
in a weird way.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, I think that's also a generational difference. I think
that we were sort of grown in the era of presentation.
You know, presentation dictated whether you got the job, It
dictated whether you you know, how people saw you, I mean,
what you're what your image was. And now I think
it's that that images can be so different and there's
(22:38):
actually there's actually value in it. But that was going
to go back to this, which is that I don't
I don't feel like everything has to be perfect that
we put out or that I put out. And yet
when we're shooting something and I've already been through like
hair and makeup, and of course I'm in this altered reality.
Then that's when I at least want to make it funny,
you know, like I just don't. Maybe that was my
(23:00):
even my push pull with that particular video, like I
didn't want anyone to think that. I thought, like, Okay,
I am at work. I've already worked this morning, and
I'm already in hair and makeup, and now it's like
and now we're going we're streatting our stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But I think that that's I think that's where you.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
And I lean into.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We always lean into the comedy of it because it's
the exact opposite, like we know that we're in full
comb yeah, and like it's like we have to sort
of make fun of it a little bit, right, Yes,
I do think. I do think what's happening on social
media for our generation, and I think I don't know
where it started. Maybe it started with like the Kardashian
(23:37):
I don't know where it started. But the decorating, right
I listen, I'm ready for Halloween right now.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I do love it.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
But then for me, it's not really like the yacht
Vacasians or the diamonds that I'm like to us over.
I'm like, what do they do to their house? How
do they get that how they get that spider out there.
Everything can just can just be more elevated. Always, whatever
you're doing, there's a more elevated version that you're going
to scroll through and you're gonna want to do that, right.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah, the dances, Oh my gosh, I can't the dances.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
All of it?
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Oh yeah, pressed send on your post. Yeah, and again
it's just a social media post. But this is why
anxiety is so interesting. Yeah, did your anxiety lift? Were
you able to let it go? Or did you need
to like see the comments to like see if you
felt okay about it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's been the interesting thing about what I've been experiencing
lately is that and I'm gonna grow. I'm going to
learn I have faith in myself and I'm bet on
myself here. That's where the anxiety is getting me. I'm
because it's also it's it's not it's not just happening
to me, it's reported from all over from the front lines.
(24:45):
It's that there's a component of avoidance. So when you
part of the perseveration, part of the asking yourself the
what if, what if? What if? What if? Is actually
avoiding making a decision. And once you what I'm finding
is once I do make the decision and I press send,
and I've really considered it clearly because I've just almost
had it. Yeah, I've almost taken myself down in the process,
(25:06):
and I've leaned on and I've gone to I hope
you know, I think smartly and I and this is
what I'm really grateful for is the people in my
life and the support systems in my life so that
I can go to you and know that you're going
to help me. And that's the relationship piece.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I also give you a very real answer. There was
anything about any video I'd like cut.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
That, dude?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Yes, Well that's also the that's that's the trust, right,
But the trust is in the relationship. And so once
I had avoided making the decision and perseverated and worried,
and then you had introduced this idea that I could
also instead of thinking what if the worst happens? What
if I flipped it and said, what if the best happens? Yeah?
(25:51):
What if this thing is? Also? What if this is true?
What if this other thing is?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
What's real in this moment? Like what are the facts?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, what's bigger than my worry? Then I was able
to see it and once I press sent, I actually
didn't have anxiety. I did not have worry. I stopped
worrying about it because I made the decision.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
So, for you, is your anxiety sitting in the in between.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yes okay, and the avoidance and the avoidance of doing
the hard thing or doing the thing, sitting in the unknown,
doing the thing that you're not sure what comes next,
because there could be a bunch of things that come
next and you're not in control of them. And I
(26:34):
we all wrestle with control. That's human. I definitely have
had like waves of wanting or feeling like having more
control would keep me in more in control. I don't
think it's been like the top note of my life.
That's not been my experience of me. That being said,
(26:55):
I don't know throw in there that we laugh about
this all the time, like if you open up my refrigerator,
it's I'm a very organized person. Is that control? Is
it not? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, this is so interesting for me because we talk.
I'm type B. Obviously we all know.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
So what does a type A person that likes to
be in control about a lot of stuff when they
bump up against anxiety.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
It's just interesting hearing that experience.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah yeah, and add in that your I think that
that's maybe that that's why I got to the what
I what I do wrong is that I actually know
I'm very aware of it not being helpful. I'm very
aware that this is not good for me. And it's
not often that I will choose to do the thing
(27:43):
that I know is not good for me, and yet
in this moment, I can't control it. The thought is coming,
the worry is coming, and then the worrying is coming.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Does your anxiety manifest as a separate voice to you,
almost like devil on your shoulder kind of thing, or.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Does it take over?
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Because sometimes I can literally have like I can feel
the pull of like Camilla grounded in the argument with
anxiety almost Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Yeah, I think that I still have an understanding of
what is not right, but what is what is true?
You know, going back to your point of bringing yourself
back to what is true? I think I do. And
yet the what if, the idea of the future what
(28:31):
if is so real to me that it's it's it's
a real match, like it's a real it's a real
force that's reckoning with what I think is true. So
I become locked and as it's and sometimes overpowered, and
it's interesting because it's really unenjoyable.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I'm Kristin Davis, host of the podcast Are You a Charlotte.
I'm so excited to share that I got to sit
down with incredible Bridget moynihan, who plays Natasha Bigg's wife.
She is telling stories from the very beginning, like why
she almost left the audition.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
I'm calling my agents.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
I'm like, guys, I have to go to the other one.
And they're like, stay for this, you need to stay
for this. I'm like, well, can't be late for the
next one.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
She shares her thoughts on the big and Carry affair.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I think I actually said out loud sometimes like no,
she was having an affair with my husband.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Let's break this down.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
And what it was like coming back to the show
when we did, and just like that.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I love that it's Natasha who is caring for her.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yes, I mean there really is that bond between them.
You can't miss this.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Listen to Are You a Charlotte on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Do you think that you have anxiety later in life
because you know more.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I also think I probably didn't completely represent like when
I say, like, I don't think that I walk around
there aren't a ton of things that worry me or
make me. But absolutely like when the kids were younger,
like did I run?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, of course that's normal. I'm talking about what you're
experiencing now.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah. Yeah, No, I've had it before in my life.
I've had it before in my life. Yeah, I have,
I have. I mean I think I just I think
that I figured out how to write yeah, or it
was just not as strong. I think that. I think
it just I think that it goes in ways. I
(30:50):
think it is your management of it. I think that
it's it's it's something that we do have the I
want to hope that it's it's something that we do
have the ability to work through.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I wonder if that's also an element of like, you
are part of a new show that's launching, that's huge,
that's so exciting, and there's an anticipation that comes with
that that's can sometimes manifest as anxiety.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I think it's just I mean, I think it's that
whenever you're sitting in expectation.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yes, yes, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
And you're I mean, whether you're insert the thing right,
You're about to get married, you're about to host a
big party, you're going to have a big presentation. I mean,
you have this conversation with yourself about your expectation. And
I guess that's the thing is like there's a reasonable, yes,
feeling of nervousness when you're about to sure go into
(31:50):
a scene, like how will I sound? How will this
play out? Will my scene partner, you know, pick up
on what I'm picking up? Will they give me something?
Like all the things? And that actually I think is
fuel for perform for doing well wherever you are, if
you're in if you're a job, a deak job, if
(32:12):
you're in a home job, if you're whatever. But again,
there's this other thing that happens. And I think that
recognizing what a reasonable amount of nerves looks like versus
an unreasonable amount of nerves. And what I was experiencing
when I called you, I actually did know was an
unreasonable amount of nerves. So I could say to you,
(32:34):
I'm having this unreasonable experience and I just sort of
and you gave me exactly what I needed, which is
what is true? Like what is true, what else is true?
And also it's you know, it's the whole name entertainment.
I say it all the time because it really does help, Like,
don't be afraid to say what it is. Whatever it is, whatever,
(32:55):
if you think it's ugly, if you think it's dark,
it's just a word, right, Like I'm mad, I'm jealous,
I'm that name it and it sort of does lose its.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Umph, it does, it does. I mean, I definitely do
that with Matt. I definitely name it well because it's
there all the time. It's not there all the time.
It's not there all the time, but it helps me
to say, like, hey, I just need to say.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Right now, this is how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It's unreasonable sometimes I'll even I've been doing this about
health recently. I'm like, I just had a heart flutter,
So in my head, I think I might be having
a heart attack or an aneurysm, and I know that's crazy,
and just saying it out loud.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
And hearing the crazy helps me.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, I'm curious because obviously we don't have the same therapist,
and so when you talk to your therapist about anxiety,
what is something that is it?
Speaker 3 (33:46):
She? She she what is something that she tells you.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
To do or with some coping macnet like what is
what are your marching orders for that?
Speaker 1 (33:58):
It's not dissimilar. It's not dissimilar. It's wrapped in a
different package and it's a little bit more. Uh, it's
very straightforward. It's the it's the futurizing. When I futurize,
when I go into the what if, when I go
into the how it's going to roll out, and I
start playing out a future that has not happened yet. Yeah,
(34:20):
I don't imagine. I can, I can go to a
place where I don't imagine good results and then I
start to experience them as though they're true. And so
the advice really is about stopping that.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
So I'm wondering, like what technique she gives you, because
for me, I'm someone that like needs a technique, So
like the what else is truth makes me.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Spit out the facts of the situation.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I'm wondering if there's something because I know that I'm futurizing.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I know that I'm doing it.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
Yeah yeah, but I need like the interrupter, the like
the technique out of it, the way that the door
on the handle that get me out of here. Yes,
and that really helps me, right because then I'm forced
to the things and I'm wondering if she has.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I mean, I I've done if. It's been a bunch
of different things, and I think it's been very much
like you know, trial by error. And again this is
sort of a new ish moment. So I actually thank
you for helping me put something on my to do
list for this week's therapy. But it's, you know, so
(35:23):
far it's been. I guess it's started off as and
now it sits in what do I do when I
go to the what ifs and go to the future
and how do I interrupt that cycle? And what is?
And I think that's it helps to have like a
little bit of a mantra. I also am very curious.
I have never felt successful at meditation. Have you ever
(35:44):
tried it? No? I feel like I feel not good
at it, and I.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
You know what, I can't say that I've tried it.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I can't say that. I really I think I probably
tried it twice in my life. But like I truly
don't know how you silence your mind. Yes, that's I
don't know how happens because I'm thinking of all the things.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Yes, so there's no meditating. I'm just sitting still.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Well, but I think that's part of it. I was
asking chat about it last night. Actually tell me, I mean, well,
I mean you're picking you know, well, you also have
to pick your which which kind of meditation are you
going to focus on? And then there are teachers. But yes,
it is the it's your mind gets busy, and there
are ways of meditating. Thinking about meditating where you you
(36:30):
acknowledge that. I don't think that anyone who meditates says yes,
and I sit on my pillow and I instantly fall
into my meditative state. At least that in the beginning
is my understanding. So I think you have to work
on it. And I do think you know, the numbers
can't be wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I would find it very hard to meditate my way
out of anxiety.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
I'm I'm telling myself that story too. I'm not sure
how that works. I believe, I believe people when they
say it does.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
I believe it can work.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I just I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Right. The voice is so loud for me. Yeah, yeah,
the voice is so loud for me.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Wait. I wanted to not take a U turn, but
just take a little side rock because I want to
go back to social for a second. So you so
Instagram would be kind of where the only one that
I've let into my real like rotation. You love TikTok.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I here's why I like TikTok and and I rarely
really scroll Instagram. I'm very rarely on Instagram. I love
posting on there, but it's just TikTok feels like all
the things that I watch have absolutely nothing to do
with me. They're not remotely in my world. So I
(37:44):
love it well. I love like the ones where it's like, hey,
I'm a mom of five kids, and here's what I'm
making for dinner real quick, and it's like, you know,
I'm just like so fascinated with like, okay, five ingredients
she's going to put together this thing because I can't cook,
So what is that? So I actually love it because
I feel like it's less of a slice of like
(38:04):
Los Angeles or the entertainment industry or our world and
more just maybe people live in their lives and putting
it off. There's something I'm just I don't know what
it is. I can't describe it, but I like it better.
I'm sure that's what the algorithm feeds me too. Obviously
your experience would be totally different, but I feel like
(38:27):
Instagram feels a little more shiny and curated than TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yes, yes, for sure.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
I do think it's worse though, because I think I can.
I can spend way more time on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Well that's what they're trying to do, aren't they. I
don't know who they are, but it's then.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
It does not give me anxiety though Instagram. Instagram is
the I've gone on vacation and I'm in Paris, France
wherever I'm in, can't you know? It's like and then
all the actors and their makeups, and then I'm like, well,
why is it mine?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
And maybe do I need to go blonde? Do I
need bang?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
It's like, you know, I'm all those I feel like
there's a more superficial element to it when I'm scrolling
through that makes me think, like, I don't know it.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Just I prefer the tiktoks.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
All right, Well, this is one where I really do
I'm I'm I'm committed to it. I want to know
how social media is living in all of your old lives.
If you're if you're interested in.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Sharing, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
I feel like I want to do a follow up
episode with everybody because we are always hearing about what
it does to the youth, but like, what is it
doing to the moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas
and everybody else? Yes?
Speaker 1 (39:39):
And what are the answers to these questions? What are
you interested in trying? Are you interested in, you know,
quitting cold Turkey? And do you wish you didn't have it?
And do you delete it often? I know people who
do that all the time, that will delete it for
a month and then they kind of come back to it.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I've taken it off my phone. I took X off
my phone and I never put it back on.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
Yeah, that's why I'm not on there. X x X
really gave me a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
It was way too mostly news outlets. Yeah, it was
just a lot of It was just a lot. I
think I felt like there was a lot of aggression
on there. And I'm sure you can find it on
any app, but it just felt like a lot to me.
I will say, what's tricky for us a little bit
as people in the entertainment industry is it feels like
(40:23):
you have to be on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and it's it's really a non negotiable for part of
your job.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yes, well, I mean I feel that way about launching
this show next week nine pm.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Do in one Nashville. But it feels like, yeah, it
feels like part of the job.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Of course it's And I think it started off with
ABC TG I T you know, scandal was they were
the ones that really.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Is Harry Washington.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
She was so great and smart.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
She made it feel joyous. It was smart, it was tight.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
It was also a different time than where it didn't
field joyous, And now it feels it's.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
It's I think that that might have been part of
my the my existential crisis.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
It was.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
I really actually only want to I can say this
with total authority. I only want to put things on
social media that feel like are either or are on
some level a pathway to joy Like whether you're laughing
at me or yeah, you're laughing with me, I want
it to be joyous. I want it to be hey,
(41:29):
come look at this other thing. That's that's the only
way that I see it. So I sort of definitely,
I don't sort of definitely I reject the idea that
you that one should use social media for aggression or
any kind of unkindness.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
No, but I think back in like the t G
A T time, it was more like, hey, for the
first time ever, we can not like, you know, get
stopped on the street by fans, like we can just
like we can.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
Interact with fans. Is the shows air like? How amazing?
Speaker 1 (42:01):
The live tweeting?
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Right, yeah, the live tweeting, and then I think all
the other things have sort of taken over, right and muddy.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
They love live tweeting, I actually really did.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I loved live tweeting, the.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Instagram version of life watching live.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Well, I get, I mean there probably is some version
of threads, I guess, but I don't have X so
I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
You guys can't do it.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Well. I think this is a conversation to be continued.
I think that it affects us all differently. I do
think that we cannot I mean, you did, you helped me,
so I hope that we can all help each other
in it. And you know, I don't know. You don't
all have to look at it the way that I do.
But I do think that we're living in a time
where the path to joyce seems like Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
One of the reasons why I wanted to do this
episode today is because I do think the impression always
is is that like you're in the industry, you're an actor,
like obviously you're like bam posted like you know, and
you're not You're not ever second guessing, and you're not
ever really like you know, oh my god, you're not
(43:10):
getting anxiety from like hitting send or something, and it
happens to all of us Champagne problems. But like these
things are really honestly causing people anxiety. I mean, there
are studies on it. So I do want to hear
more from everybody.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
And again, as you pointed out, if it's happening to adults,
imagine what it's happening No, I know, you know, adolescent
brains that really don't have the tools to you know,
to phone the friend, to self talk to look for support.
I mean, and these are oftentimes adolescents that are living
in homes that are full of love and in communities
(43:48):
that are full of love. But then they can go
on and have this like split second.
Speaker 6 (43:55):
Full body, full mind response to this tiny little post
that it makes them feel like that post means more
than all the love and all the support in their
lives or the.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Reality of what's around them.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
The little thing that you're holding in your hand, Yes,
takes over too much from like the actual reality around
you that you're living. Yeah, this is one of those
episodes where we just really wanted to be like, hey,
this is sort of what's been going on this week
with us.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Yeah, yeah, this.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
Is where we're at. This is these are the conversations
we're having.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
No joke, I you you really helped a sister out
of a jam.
Speaker 3 (44:33):
Listen, if you've got anxiety, you know who to go.
But you did.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Not to minimize that. And I understand it is not it's yes,
and by the way, of course, so do I. These
are not these are not grave problems, these are these
are the.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
But I think these are the things that are triggering
people all the time.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Is the point, the things that happen in between our ears.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
And that's what's shocking, because you're like, there's there's not
an earthquake, but.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
My body feels like there's an earthquake.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
It feels like there's an earthquake. And then think about
this is where I think you do get into how
the domino effect, you know, or what happens in the
domino effect is that that state of mind goes out
into the world and it's contagious, right, Like that person
has been made worried and worrying and they're no longer
(45:21):
in their state of path to joy and they're going
out and they're the person that's like cutting you off
on the highway. They're a person that's stepping on your front.
I'm not saying sorry. They're the person that's not holding
the door. I'm obviously making all this up, but I
just I think there's a connection.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
No, I think you're absolutely right. Yeah, it manifests into
the energy of your day, and then that affects you
an X person, that affects an next person, and there's
a cumulative.
Speaker 3 (45:46):
Effect for sure.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yes, all right, we want to hear from you. This
is a to be continued to be see.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
All right, Well, let's call it the end of the episode.
Hosts And Creators
Jessica Capshaw
Camilla Luddington
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