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September 16, 2024 42 mins

The recent author gets raw about her emotional healing journey, how she almost skipped out on "Dancing With The Stars" and how she REALLY feels about controversial figure Anna Delvey joining the cast this season!

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camel Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Call It crew.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Jessica and I are in Los Angeles, California.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
We're to go nothing virtual about this.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is straight up together forever. I feel like they're
feeling the chemistry. Just listening.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the chemistry. This is sort
of a big week, right. We just had the presidential debates.
The VMA's are this weekend, Emmys are this weekend. There's
just Los Angeles is a buzz.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, what happened is is you landed in La just
some it literally timed out with some something huge that happened, which.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
We have to talk about. Yes, for sure.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
So well, the headline would be the presidential debate. The
aftermath was that Taylor Swift took to social media to
say who she was going to cast her vote for
in a very eloquent post. I might add that Lady's
got away with words I found. What did you think

(01:15):
of the post?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Well, first off, if I were her, I would have
done it too, where I posted with the picture of
a cat and then signed off like childless cat. Lady Yeah,
I thought that was got a sense of humor. Obviously
genius and we all know what that's referring to.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
I thought it was incredible because I thought that she said.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Who she was going to vote for, Kamala Harris, but
she also encouraged everyone to do their research, talked about
how you can register early for voting yep, and gave
all the information within her reveal of who she was
voting for so important because people need to still be
educated on how to do all those things.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yes, and obviously it was you know, she's an incredibly
you know what, respected human being on the planet, and
so she knew that. My guess is that she knew
that expressing her opinion would certainly be of influence. I
too love that, likely knowing what her power is in
just everyone's mind right now.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
I loved that the most.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Important and first thing she said was that you need
to do your research, and that everybody gets a vote,
and that you need to register to vote, and for
first time voters, make sure you're registered, yes, and vote early.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
I mean, just I loved that.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
I just loved the that while she was saying who
she was going to vote for, it felt the post
felt very inclusive to just voters in general. That's what
I like, encouraging voting, being a part of the process,
having your voice be heard. And then she was telling
us who you know who who her pick was. So
I just I thought that the whole thing was Actually
I thought that the whole thing was beautiful and very

(02:55):
very well executed. So yay Taylor Swift, Swift, Ya Taylor Swift,
Taylor Swift for the win.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
And then again she's just so funny, like childless cat
lady like take that.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I mean, was there any other picture to post? There's
no other picture to post. You had to post the
gorgeous photo shoot from.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
The cat with the cat.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
I can't. I know, I know it was great. It
was great.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
And then she's so she's not I think she's not
performing at the VMA's, but she's gonna be there. In
addition to having a big week just in general. Here
in Los Angeles, California, we have a guest that I
am a super fan of.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
I think I can say that with absolute authority.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
She sings, she dances, she she's a trouble threat acts.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, she inspires me to exercise.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
She I watch her exercise and then I think about exercising,
I consider it.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
I look at her and I look at her fitness
level and what she's capable of and.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
How she uses her body, and I just didn't. I'm
quite frankly, I'm and all of it.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
And so yeah, please please please welcome Julianne Huff.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Hello, with that haircut. With that haircut, it's just so chic.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Okay, I have to tell you, Okay, Hi, welcome to
call it what it is. Jessica has been talking about
your haircut morning. She wants to go straight from heir
to the hairdressers and get it done all.

Speaker 4 (04:23):
I mean, I think you should. There's something about short
hair that like it's for the woman, right because like
your partner loves long hair and all that stuff. But
I'm like having short hair is like I feel the
most free, the most sassy, the most confident I ever
feel when I have short hair. So go do it,
chop it off.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
And you know what, let me just say that from
the outside watching you, it looks like it.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
I don't even know where to start.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
But let's just talk about the fact that you are
singing and writing and dancing.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
I mean, we want to know what you don't do.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, is there something that you're Is there something you're
terrible at?

Speaker 3 (05:02):
What is the thing that you were absolutely terrible at?

Speaker 4 (05:04):
You know, I am terrible at throwing and catching things?

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh really?

Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yeah, Like sports is not my jam, Like I like
wish that I could catch a ball or like play volleyball,
Like you do not want to pick me on your team.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
You two have met. We just met the summer.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
I can't believe that it's taken that long though, because
I feel like we have so many mutual friends and yeah, yeah,
it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Well you also just probably felt my energy just like
watch again at the parasocial relationships where you watch someone
and you think that you're a part of their life.
So when I saw you this summer, I was like, oh, yeah, hi,
we're friends.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
We know each other absolutely. I know where you were
last week.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
And you don't even need to rely on paparazzi anymore,
although you actually have what you choose to post and
then and then you also have paparazzi.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
I mean yes, but also like I don't feel like
the paparazzi game is as strong as it was ten
years ago, which I'm grateful for.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
Yeah, but then The.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
Double edged sword to that is you almost feel like
social media is now another job and careerly like do
and so you're like, wait, I didn't sign up for
this job, but I have it now? Wait what?

Speaker 3 (06:24):
And it feels like and it feels like a full
time job. It does?

Speaker 4 (06:28):
It is?

Speaker 1 (06:29):
It is you almost feel like in your workday you
haven't you like, haven't hit that, you haven't checked the
box until you've like either post posted or strategized about
the post. Sorry I'm giving away this how the sausage
is made. But it's like there's thought that goes into
the it's.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Its own business.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
Well, I think for people listening, I'm sure they're probably
even better at it than like I am, because like
I feel like it is it's not my second nature.
And I look at amazing influencers that I'm like, wow,
I am so blown away by your ability to like
be structured and strategic and like you're all marketers, Like
you're amazing, and like I like wish I had.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
That skill set. Yeah, yeah, no, I know.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Well, we talk a lot about my personal relationship with balance, right,
like how do we balance all of these things? And
I have said timetime again because it is my truth
that I don't ever actually feel like I'm balancing anything
on any given day. I'm sort of better at one
thing than another. For you right now, because it just
really does seem like you're doing it all.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, how do you negotiate that? Like, is there is
there a balance in your days?

Speaker 4 (07:35):
There isn't true, Like just balance, like that's that's made
up and trying to be perfect and that's there's no way.
So when I think about it, I'm like, it's just
day to day being present in that moment because I
feel like, you know, I was just on my book
tour for everything we never know, and it's like, I'm
not going to be balanced during that week because that

(07:58):
week is I'm up at three thirty in the morning,
I'm doing press, I'm you know, pounding some caffeine and
doing what I need to do, you know. And then
but I think what I'm trying to do is during
that press week, even though I know it's not going
to be balanced, Like how can I actually just enjoy
the moment and take it in because I can't go
for a run or I can't I don't have the

(08:20):
time to do my journaling and stuff like that. You know,
so like, how can I just take in the moment
and be very present and enjoy the moment, and then
when I'm done with it, like reflect on it and
like take some time to let it integrate versus just
like onto the next thing. You know. So I think
that's what I try to do more so, of of like,
it's harder said.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Than done, though.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's really hard to be crazy. It's hard to be.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Present, of course, Well, I I, yeah, I get that.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
I am again. I saw you this summer and I
got your book and I read it and it's so
wonderful and I highly recommend it to anyone who has
not already bought it or download it or anything like that.
I just so it hats off to you, because of
course I was because I think probably like many people,
there was this book and I had your name on it,

(09:08):
and I was like, she can't write books too?

Speaker 4 (09:11):
Coming on, Well, it's funny, I mean, like the what
it's been kind of confusing, I think for a lot
of people is and even for myself, is like how
do I identify myself?

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Like?

Speaker 4 (09:23):
Am I a dancer, an actor, a singer, you know,
an entrepreneur? And then I was like No, I'm a storyteller,
Like I like telling stories and whatever medium it is, like,
I want to create worlds for people to be able
to see themselves in that story and relate to it

(09:44):
and have it resonate and have it inspire some sort
of activation of self discovery or I feel seen or wow,
like anything as possible. So you know, I'm thirty six
now it's like throughout my twenties it was all about
performing and and just trying to like figure out what
to do next, And now it's sort of like what

(10:04):
is my what do I want to put out in
the world, and what's the through line? Even though I
love and I have so many different passions of how
it's expressed, Like what am I actually trying to say?
And I think it's self discovery, transformation, healing, like we
all have the we all have it within us, and
so if people can see that and that can be

(10:24):
my way of contributing, you know, lessons that I've learned
along my journey, then let me just do it through
any form of storytelling.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
So yes, and you and you are doing that.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Is there any medium that has intimidated you more than others?
I mean, obviously you come so naturally to dance, and
you've been doing it for forever. But when you know,
when you first got into the recording studio, what was
that moment?

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Were you like or were you like yes or somewhere
in between.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
I think because all of those things happened at such
an early age, I was like fearless then, you know,
like I didn't have the years of like, you know,
getting rejected in the industry yet, you know, so I
just was like going and like fearless and just it
was an exciting time. So but I think writing this
book it was it was way more vulnerable because again

(11:15):
I've spent my years performing and like doing other people's work,
and even when I had my music, I didn't write
those songs, and so I connected with them, but it
didn't come from me. So like this book and this story,
it really was like half lived experience and then I

(11:37):
fictionalized it and it came through my own form of
expression versus and more artistry versus performer.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
It's so personal.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
I mean, you're you're really you're trusting people with something
that's so so personal.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Can you tell our listeners what the book is about?

Speaker 4 (11:56):
Absolutely? So it's about a woman who seemingly has everything
to get. She's got the perfect house, perfect marriage, perfect job.
And at a banquet one night where she's receiving an award,
she goes up on stage and she starts having these
supernatural experiences where she sees this man and she sees
an aura around him. She starts hearing you know, a

(12:18):
woman's voice saying save him, Henry, save him, Help, Help,
and she starts tasting salt water and feels like she's drowning.
And so she's having like all of her senses activated.
And then when he leaves, they all go away, and
she's like, what just happened to me? And as she's
kind of curious about this, she doesn't want to talk
about it with her friends or her husband because she

(12:40):
also is like, I feel crazy, this is this is insane.
So she goes on this sort of exploration and she
finds this like town witch in this in the city
of where she lives, in Gardenvale, and she starts, you know,
being mentored by this woman and she starts doing breath
work and meditation and stuff and thinking that, oh am,

(13:00):
I supposed to be healing people because I'm having these
experiences where I could have helped this person and they
just had something happen to them. But I could have
prevented that if I would have listened to these senses.
So as she's like trying to cultivate these new found powers,
she realizes, obviously, I can't heal anybody until I heal myself,
and so she goes on this journey of healing for herself.

(13:24):
And it's very you know, heightened fantasy. So it's it's
her healing through that natural elements earth, fire, water, and air,
and so she uses the elements to help her on
her own healing journey.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
And it's very so creative.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
I mean, the way that you did this is so
creative and so many different you know, modalities of understanding
and sense and all that. And then you know, I
don't want to give it away, but it's just it's
so wonderful.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
What part of it was inspired by your life? Are
you able to say, like specifically.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
Yeah, yeah, So I think that thematics, you know, like
her journey, she was avoiding a lot of like pain,
and she suppressed a lot of things. So like, you know,
I've talked openly about it, but I you know, I
had violation happen to me as a child, and so
she also has that in the book that she has
to address and with her family system, and that's the
earth Lesson that she goes through, which is like her

(14:31):
roots and the family dynamics. Water is obviously the grief
and the loss and being able to have the emotions
come through her fire lesson is about like her visceral
like healthy anger that comes through, and standing up for yourself.
Air is about using your voice and also standing up
for yourself. Those are all universal themes that I think

(14:53):
we all experience in certain ways, and I've had my
own versions of that. And so instead kind of, you know,
writing an autobiography where people are going to read my
story and see my see me in this story, I
wanted to write something where I experienced these themes of

(15:13):
loss and grief and abandonment and violation and all these things.
But I want the reader to see themselves in the
story and so that they can go on the journey
instead of, oh, this is Julianne's story, No, this is
all of our story. We all go to a hero's journey.
We all experience a lot of the same emotions in
our life. We just have different circumstances of how we've

(15:35):
experienced it. So that was my reason for writing it
as a fiction. But I definitely you know, and then
I also had some supernatural experiences at the time when
I was having like this, you know, for lack of
better you know, words or a sentence, my spiritual awakening,
and it like popped open this like next layer of

(15:55):
healing that I went through. And so I was like, well,
this is a great way for you know, it doesn't
have to be so heavy when you go through a
healing journey. It can be really powerful and amazing and
mystical and magical.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
And it was the shared experience voices so mine.

Speaker 4 (16:15):
I'm a very kinesthetic person, so I feel a lot
of things and even I don't know if you know
about like synesthesia. It's like where if you you can
like you can smell color or like you can y. Yeah,
found it's like I'm fascinatle so like I would like
I would I wouldn't actually see like pink around somebody,

(16:36):
but I knew it was pink around them. I could
feel that there was pink, and like I could sense
that that was the color or you know, I could
smell and I could hear, you know, just intuitive knowing,
and so you had.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
That your whole life, where you had that during your
you're awakening.

Speaker 4 (16:52):
Yeah, I was during that sort of Have.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
You ever connected with Laurel and Jackson?

Speaker 4 (16:56):
I haven't.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
No.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
Laura and Jackson.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
She she I also met through Amy Griffin.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
She wrote a book called.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Signs Okay and Uh, And she is a medium and
she does a lot of oural work and is just
fascinating and just an incredibly wow just yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
And I had a reading with her and it was
pretty mind blowing.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
I mean, look, I I have always felt like that's
been a part of my family. My mom like would
literally like look at us and be like I think
you have a strep throat, or like she would you know,
or like she'd look into my eyes, or she would
like rub my feet and I'd be like ow and
she'd like, ooh, something's wrong with your kidney, like sort

(17:43):
of like a medical medium she just knew as well.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's just that witchy.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
I feel like we you know, in our and do
you have that too where sometimes you ever, well do
you feel like you do?

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Do you have like the the witchy?

Speaker 4 (17:56):
Absolutely do? And I like every everybody has it. I
think it's more just. And that's where your book is,
which is like, because of our childhood, we're so connected, right,
but then we build up layers of protection to fit
in to its necessary, adopt for your wounds, Like I
want to belong, so I'm gonna put this layer of

(18:17):
protection on me so fit in. Or and so we
get further and further away from that, or we get
further and further closed off to what's possible. And so
this whole book is about delayering all of those conditions
and patterns and beliefs to like get back to this
you know, really open channel and vessel of what's possible.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
I think, which it takes a lot of trust because
the armoring up is what keeps us safe, right, or
you are brave enough to take the armor off and
use your own knowing and your own words and your
own voices to say what you need to say.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
In your twenties, I'm I turned forty. I feel like
I peel off more the older I get.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Yeah, well, because I feel like it's all like learning. Know,
you're like building up all these layers and then it's
all about taking them away.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
A friend of mine calls it the upgrades, Like every
birthday brings an upgrade, and you sort of like reboot
the system and you find yourself, you know, a little
more trusting, a little more totally.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
Those like what you were just saying about armor, it's
like that comes from a place of defense versus like offense.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
You know.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
It's like defense is like I'm going to say no
and protect myself this way. But like when you're connected
to your truth, you can say no from a very
healthy place. It's not about being in a defensive place.
It's it's just a no before you have to be
in a defensive place.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
Going back to being present, you don't know when you're
going to get there. It's sort of this silent upgrade.
Like I think you do your work. I think everybody
needs to be doing their work. I think a lot
of times when I feel like I'm doing extra work
in a relationship, it might be because the other person isn't.
I can you do the work too, please, because this
is well, that's a whole lot of that's a whole
lot of situation.

Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh yeah, oh.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, I'm doing work for the both of us, and
while I can, I don't want to.

Speaker 3 (20:09):
You didn't have to do it for yourself.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
Meet me where I'm at, that'd be great.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, But just even what you just said, we're recently
just feeling like in times where my expectations or my
hopes or my desires are are in conflict with someone else's,
instead of being defensive or having it be a thing,
I can really sit and be present and be like,
I see how you see it, and.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
No, yeah, and that's okay. We yea to this spot,
and like, I don't have to now win you over
and adapt to be what you need to be so
that we shift our energy to match. No, I'm going
to say where I'm at, and if we don't match,
it's just a not matching situation. It's not right or wrong.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I feel like I spent so much in my twenties
trying to do exactly that, trying to match other people's energy, yes,
which is exhausting, and just not it doesn't it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yes, And then sort of in the silent hours of
the night, you find yourself asking yourself, like, what do
I want? And it's the more that you act like that,
the further you get from what do I want?

Speaker 3 (21:19):
And being able to answer it. Yes, you're like, oh,
I want what I When.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
We talk about all the time with you know, social media,
it's like I want what you know, what that person
has or that person has a better life for that
persons whatever, and you compare, and like comparison is just
the thief of joy and honesty because it's like what
do I want? Maybe I want that, Maybe I actually don't.
Maybe I just got carried away in the moment.

Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yeah, and that's okay. Like that's what I always like
think about too, is like you don't know what you know.
You don't know until you know it, and so everybody's
doing the best that they can. But once you get
like an insight of like, wow, I really I really
trust myself. Like you can't go back. Even your patterns

(22:02):
try to come back in and you you almost slip
up and try to like you repeat something. You're like,
I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
You cannot unread.

Speaker 4 (22:12):
And it's hard because you're so familiar with doing it
a certain way for so long that you think that
that's what feels safe when it's actually not the right thing.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
You know, Yeah, it's just a pattern.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, you seem like you are in the most incredible place.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
You're so sweet.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
I mean, what is that like, I mean new relationships
and being in this space.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
Yeah, I do feel that, and I think that, like
even some of my relationships from my past are coming
back up around and you know, things sometimes shift and.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Then Ryan secret. Sorry, I just have to say it
because I was a really big fan of you guys.
I shipped you, you know I did.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
I'm gonna be honest. Here's what happened. We walked in
this morning.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Everyone knew we're going to talk to you, and we
are iHeart and Bourbank. Everyone here the entire building would
like you to it back with Ryan Seacrest. We're like,
we're even the security guy we're like walking through and
he is like, are they getting back together?

Speaker 3 (23:06):
And I'm like, I don't know, we can ask.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
This is really funny.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
You're super fans over here.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
No, clearly people are interested in that.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
So not interested.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
I mean, it's like a whole It's like you're shipping
it like you're a TV Yeah couple exactly.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
But I mean, like truly, like on Gray's Anatomy, I
ill obviously it was a fake relate. I'm not fake,
but it was a imagined relationship, but I too.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
I mean, I can't tell you how many times.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And by the way, it was an imagined relationship and
people were coming up to me and being.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Like, but just why, like why are you together? Like, well,
first of all, I'm not her.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah I can fall that's a question for someone above
my pay grade. Yeah, we need to talk to a
writer about that.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'm curious.

Speaker 2 (24:01):
What is Was there a moment that you felt started
your healing journey where you're like, I got to take
care of this.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
I mean it's there. Wasn't like a It was more
like back in twenty thirteen, I went to a Tony
Robbins seminar and that was like the beginning of like
my cognitive awareness of like belief systems, and I was like, wow,
like I had a totally different belief Like my whole
drive and ambition to do. What I did was basically

(24:33):
to say f you to certain people and say watch
me because you said I couldn't. Like that got me
really far, but that's not sustainable. They still had the power,
you know what I mean. And so when I figured
that out at like twenty five, I was like, WHOA.
I had to like refall in love with I with
what I did from.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
A place I figured that out at twenty five. Yeah,
I figured that out like last year.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
Yes, I feel like she figured out. Guess I'm still
forging about that.

Speaker 4 (25:02):
That was sort of that was back in twenty thirteen.
So that shifted my whole like perspective of like why
do what I do? And I lost my motivation for
a few years because I was like, I don't know
what's driving me.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
So yeah, well that's and that can sometimes be a
result of a saying that I like to pull out
of my back pocket all the time, which is oftentimes
when I feel very overwhelmed and I don't know what
I want to do, and I'm looking at everybody else,
like what does everybody else want to need? And I
want to make it all good and fix and please
and all this stuff, and I'm like, hold on, I
am setting myself on fire to keep everybody else warm.

Speaker 3 (25:35):
And I will no longer exist if I allow this
to continue.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
And it's a real and it's you have to have
a real diligence, if to have a real discipline with
yourself and with your thoughts, because oftentimes I think also
these thoughts become habits more than actual real feelings, and
we just sort of, you know, we habituate them and
then we fall right back into them.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Okay, we have to talk about Dancing with the Stars.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yes, absolutely, I love it.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
And I came to it late translator. I was a
day wanner. I was not a day wanner.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
You are in a day wanner when a day wanner.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
My kids brought me into it. So the girls, Eve
and Poppy and Josephine started watching it, and they were probably,
I don't know, maybe like six or seven episodes in.
And I just always feel like when they're watching something
is when I'm like getting stuff done.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
So it's like, okay, they're fine.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
And I must have just like put my feet up
on the couch and was like, what do you watching?
And I was fully fully hooked and then managed to
because all the seasons are just sitting there right at
wherever you extreme things. We went back, we went forwards,
We went to just put different performances. We did actually
rewatch the finale, Poppy and I did in preparation, but

(26:54):
she is so excited and she they just loved you
last season and it looked so exciting. We really like
the outfit with the hood thing. All of it was
just fucking on fire.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
You ate that up.

Speaker 4 (27:07):
Well, by the way, you have to come to the
show then don't know my whole body, and like you're
going to.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
Have a blast.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
I don't know like what you know she's into. So
like there's different themes each week, and so you know
pick now that you guys are fans, Like there's like
most most memorable you know week, which is like all
the backstories. There's Disney Week, There's week Love the Disney Week.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Oh my gosh, there's no way in the world that
I'm not taking you up on that.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
I might. You might just open up your trailer door
and I'll just be sitting there. You might end up
on it. You're gonna end up on it. Yeah you too.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Dancing might be my kryptonite. And here's the most unjustice,
that's what.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
But by the way, those are the people that I
want to see so far.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
But by the way, talk about when I was saying
earlier about like my through line, it's like I want
to tell stories of transformation and self discovery. People think
this is a dance show. It's not a dance shows me.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Oh, I'm all ready to be transformed, but.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
Like on the insight and your confidence and like feeling
alive and sexy and like are you? It's so fun
it is, Well, how did I think.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
I'm just partner?

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Is that? In my mind? I am a phenomenal dancer.
In my mind, I'm a phenomenal singer. And when I
go to do the thing, I'm really glad there's no
cameras around because I can still think I'm great and
not be great at the same time.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
I want to know how you And because there's only
so many spots, right, how did you and your brother
end up on it?

Speaker 3 (28:40):
That's so wild?

Speaker 4 (28:41):
So obviously my brother and I we we competed in
London and we trained our whole lives basically to do
what we do. And when I moved back, my brother
still stayed in London, and my dance partner was there too,
Mark Ballas, and I came out to la to act
and to sing, and I wasn't planning on dancing, but
I obviously needed to pay my rent, and so I

(29:03):
would do these dancing jobs for commercials or whatever, and
I got offered to go on the Dancing with the
Stars tour as a company dancer. When I was eighteen
and when I was on the tour, the producers of
the show saw me asked me to be on the show.
I said no, because I want to be a respected
actress and seeing like if I go on a reality show,

(29:23):
like I'm going to have a certain you know, narrative
of that and I'm never gonna be able to act.
And then at the time, I was like, there's twenty
million viewers watching this show every single week. It's it's
more than a reality show. It's a competition show. Like
there's real talent, it's my skill set. I was like,
I do need to pay my rent. So so I

(29:43):
went on the show in season four and I told
them about my brother and like, you know Mark, and
they ended up reaching out and he came the season
after that.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
So, by the way, that is a story of you
certainly showing them, I mean, going on on show like
that and doing what you've done, wanting to be you know,
an actor and finding your way there through that.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's just incredible.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
Well and I think that okay, So again, that was
when I was eighteen, and when I was twenty five
is when I figured out the other part of like
I'm doing this for everybody. I got to find it
within myself, and I had this mindset that like, if
I did this, I can't do that. But the truth
is is we can do whatever we want, and we
have the power to have our own narrative. And yes,

(30:30):
there are certain pathways that people take because that's how
it was done. But the people that create new pathways
are the ones that you end up following as a
role model or you know, as a model of how
to get to the next place. And so I was like,
I'll just do it different, you know, like, and it
hasn't been easy because again people are like, wait, what
does she do? But the thing with Dancing with the

(30:51):
Stars is like I am so grateful for the show
and like just the just everything that it is like
brought to my life as like an embarrassment of riches,
Like I am so blessed to be a part of
this show.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
It reminds me that I was just telling the story
the other day that when I first graduated college and
I came out to Los Angeles to be an actress
and yes, I need to pay my bills too, and
I was like, well, okay, was this going to go?
And everybody was doing you know, movies, and they were
doing either studio movies or they were doing indie movies,
but it was all movies and movies, movies. And I
three months of auditioning and I hadn't gotten anything. And

(31:27):
I was like three months by the way, it was
like a second and I was like, I'm a failure.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
It's all over.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
I'm hanging up.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
I'm hanging it up. But I remember my agent saying, well,
what do you want to do? And I was like, well,
I mean, okay.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
This this world does not seem to be welcoming me
like I thought it might, and so what else could
I do?

Speaker 3 (31:45):
Could I do? Like television? And they were like, ooh,
I don't know about television.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
I was like why and they're like, because you know,
and it was very much like go to TV because
you're the B team, And I was like, you know
what I would like to be. I would like to
be a paid actor. So if that's who's hiring me,
then I'm okay to be on the B team, and
I'll just work my way up to the A team.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
And uh.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
And I never I never drew any lines in the sand,
and I'm so grateful that I did, because that was
what started my career, and I truly like went from
I mean, I did so many pilots that didn't get
picked up, but it was like every year, and it
was a world that welcomed me and wanted me there,
which felt a whole lot better than a world that
was like you're not good enough, you're not going to
fit into right, Like oh my gosh. And back then

(32:27):
it was like you're not skinny enough, you're not pretty enough,
you're not tall enough, you're not short enough. You're all
the things that I wasn't enough of, and then there
was this world that was like, yeah, you aren't. It
was a really, really, really big difference.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Yeah, dancing with Yes.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
We put like a hierarchy of what's better. Yeah, it's
a real shame, it is because.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
It really really hurts people too. You know, our whole
call it crew.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
They write in with the most beautiful and vulnerable submissions,
and I would say one of the common themes is
like am I good enough?

Speaker 4 (32:55):
One thousand percent?

Speaker 1 (32:56):
And it's really interesting because again, in friendship, you see
what other people don't. So part of the reason that
this all got born is like I see this one
as like just the best thing that ever happened.

Speaker 3 (33:07):
She makes me laugh without even talking. She can like
move an eyeball just.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
You know, I mean, and I'm like, but okay, wait
back to just I'm sorry, just just deal with me
for a second. With the stars, the cast has been
the lineup has been revealed. One of the participants is.

Speaker 3 (33:23):
The Delvy Yes who I saw a picture. She's still
under house arrest, so she has the Some people are
some people are so angry about this. I like, are
they're angry.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
People with some people, I'm not happy. It's controversial, controversial
is but I love it.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
I'm so obsessed.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
I'm so obsessed, you guys, because I need her to win.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
I don't even know who the other contestants are. I
don't care.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
I need I just I want her to win. I'm serious.
And by the way, she could be deported any second.
Oh stop it.

Speaker 3 (34:02):
I don't know. But she had to get permission from immigration.
It is.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
It's pretty I mean talk about controversy, but again in
a way that like allows people to show their most
you know, true self. So this is a great opportunity
for her. But I just love it so much because
I was obsessed with the show and Julia Garner just
crushed it and there's there's so there's so much fun

(34:27):
to be had with it, and like she she plays
into it, which like, yeah she does.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Already did yesterday.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
You guys, I cannot.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
I wait did she could she take it off for
them to do that or did she have to like
be there?

Speaker 3 (34:46):
W she can take it off? Captraw.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
So my favorite though, it's sending it into Michaels to
be bedazzled.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
My favorite thing though, is like speaking of like wanting
to like fit in right when ever she says I
have a great outfit on, because I've seen her like
two or three times now, I'm like, oh my gosh, I.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Know you definitely do we know from the show on
the show that she has opinions.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
You tell Paw like you know, you're like.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
Paw, so you are not looking poor?

Speaker 1 (35:16):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Yes, you're not looking poor. Oh my god. Do you
ever do you still get nervous or no? Are you?
You're not nervous at all.

Speaker 4 (35:24):
I mean with anything that I do, I I have
those butterfly tingly feelings. Obviously if I don't feel prepared,
I get nervous. But but with the show like because
I've literally done every role. Now yeah, yeah, now I'm posting.
It's like I know this show so well, and the crew,
the you know, camera operators and the lighting and the

(35:46):
design and like the costume designer, Like everybody has been
there for almost I mean most people have been there
for almost the entire thirty three seasons. And so it's
like it's family and it's actually a healthy family.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
I love that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (36:02):
Like it's not like maybe your own family that's dysfunctional,
Like it's a really healthy family.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Well, the story that I'm making up in my mind,
given that I've now gotten to spend time with you.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
Is that that tracks right? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (36:14):
You being you and being in the place that you're
at and having a healthy family to work with and
be in relationship with makes sense to me.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Is it hard working with your own family?

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Am?

Speaker 2 (36:39):
I said? I feel like me and my siblings would
end up in a huge dance, huge dance.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
You have a lot of siblings too.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
We have a dance song, No, I we have a
my siblings they'll be listening right now.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
We're in a WhatsApp like group chat.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Someone you can exit the chap is like storming out right,
someone storms.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Out of our chat every other day and then.

Speaker 2 (37:04):
You have to be invited back in. So when it's
it's kind of embarrassing because you have to be like,
can I come back in your own storm out?

Speaker 4 (37:11):
You know about I would say about five or six
years ago. That was also like remember when Marco Polo
was like a thing Polo the app, Like we would
say yes, yes, So that's when the like people would
leave the chat and like not feel included and it
would become okay. That was like five or six years ago,
and I feel like since then, fortunately, our family we're

(37:34):
we're doing. We're on a good streak right now, so
it's good for you.

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Yeah, we're not. We're not. We'll never be.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
We like we like a little, we like arguing attle
argument with you.

Speaker 4 (37:46):
So there's always something.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
Yes, it's like how many are you? How many are you?

Speaker 4 (37:51):
So I'm the baby of five in my blood, but
then I also have nine step brothers and sisters thirty
three now use like I've never gone and on and on.
IM remarried, like a lot of people are remarried and
new family, so it's just very blended.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
That's wild.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I don't usually meet a lot of people that have
more than me. But you've got me, You've got do
you have. I'm the oldest of ten with all of
the yours, mind ours and theirs.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
We're adopted, half step all of the things.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm so excited about your book, and everyone please go
out and get it.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
Yes, it sounds inccredible book.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
I feel like people will like connect to it. Also
if if you just want a fund like escape too.
It's also fun. And then I have music that goes
along with I know coming out. You would tell us
about the music, Well, the single is out, it's like
Spotify and everything. It's same title, everything we never knew.
And then I have a song for each one of
the lessons that she goes to in the book that

(38:51):
are coming out a little bit later. I'm going to
do like a second push for oh my God holidays
and and promote the book again and and then and
promote it with the music that's coming out. It kind
of just came out of nowhere. I was like I
had another form of storytelling, and like, so some people
like to listen incredible.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
You know, yes, you're incredible.

Speaker 4 (39:10):
You're both incredible and you're thank you for us right now.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
So I know, I know, I got here last night
and I go back to New York. Well, I stop
in Chicago on the way, but I'll be back in
New York on Monday.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
But now is the most beautiful.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
New York is. Like I'm so sad because I obviously
shoot Dancing with the Stars in the fall every season now,
so it's the New York fall every year, and I'm so.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Sad, I know, but you know what, New York Spring.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
It's also great.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Not got your favorite, it has turned into maybe even
my favorite.

Speaker 4 (39:42):
Oh interesting because.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Speaking of magical, when you really lived through the four
seasons and you've you've gone through the winter, you're uniquely
aware of your surroundings.

Speaker 3 (39:50):
So you know every spot where there's.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
No foliage, where there's no green, where there's no flowers,
there's nothing, and so when they come, it's like it
is like magic. It's like you just I've been I
literally find myself googling, like I don't know a lot of.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Meanwhile, we're sitting here fall one hundred and seven to trees.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Yeah, Tommy Moore, I know right.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Well, thank you so much, and I'm going to take
you up on the Dancing with the Stars, Poppy and
Eve and Josie and I will be in the front row.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
Wait can I come too?

Speaker 4 (40:23):
Yes? Absolutely, I said yes for you, Yes, every pretty cut.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
All right, We're gonna be fun. Brok you thank you
so much, Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
Have a great day you too.

Speaker 2 (40:35):
I got to get the book, and I'm gonna tell
you why I do love supernatural stuff too.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
I know, I love a little.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
I love it and I love that she included the
elements and that and the singing and the whole.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
I mean, it's a whole experience. I love it.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
She's just I mean, what can't she do? I'm glad
she said the sports thing, because.

Speaker 3 (40:53):
Yeah she can't. She said. No, she's almost true talented.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Next time you guys see us, we may be front
row and dancing with the stars.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
Absolutely. I mean that is a that is an absolute.
That is not even like a question mark. Well, on
home team A b C. It's on home team ABC.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
But I have a question.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Will you be sat front row like wearing jazz shoes
just in case someone falls.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
In? Coach?

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (41:21):
Yeah, did Anna twist and ankle because of that? Yeah,
it's tennis all over again. It's tennis all over again.
You're in the leotard, the sparkles. They're like, why is
Jessica dressed to dance? We know why. Now My kids
really do want me to go on, but I'm telling
you it's not. It's it's not. It's fine.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
You're you're you're giving off. I know what I can
I cannot do anyway. Thank you guys so much for
joining us today. Let's call it.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Call it the end of the episode.
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Jessica Capshaw

Jessica Capshaw

Camilla Luddington

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