January 20, 2025 • 60 mins
If your parents don’t do things that drive you absolutely nuts, you’re lying. Jess & Camilla call on the crew to share the most annoying parental habits out there, including something Camilla’s kids should one day be terrified for!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome
to another episode of Call It What It Is. You
know what, I just realized the pause was for a reason.
This is our first episode together in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I thought it as I said hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like, wait.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Welcome twenty twenty five. You twenty twenty five. It kind
of a dick.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
You've feel a huge dick, dude.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, yeah, you've made uh like very hard and sad
and challenging and scary.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah we should have joined. Okay, so here here, here's
the real deal. You guys. We always plan an episode
just and I get into it and we figure out
a fun subject and we reach out to you. We
reach out to you guys, and we plan these episodes
and we get so excited and so we do have
an episode that we are going to do. We are
going to do the episode we plan today. However, twenty
(01:19):
twenty five did a derailing of a lot of people's lives,
and so we're going to derail the top of this
episode to talk just.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Talking about what's been going on.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we
have been dealing. We haven't been watching the news or
haven't yeah, have had the TV off. We've been dealing
with fires, active fires that are still active right now.
In fact, I my house as I'm talking right now,
is still under a an evacuation warning. The block over
(01:54):
is a mandatory evacuation. They can't even come go home
right now. So let's talk about sort of what happened.
Just you were in New York, but you have family here.
Your community was the Palisades, which is an area that
was severely affected. You want to talk a little bit
about that. Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
As these things are.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's sick.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You remember the day before, so many people that I
do business with are in Los Angeles. It's the beginning
of the new year. Obviously, there's so many phone calls
where you're just you know, checking in, here's the beginning
of the new year. Here's what's happening. And it was all,
you know, invigorated, and people were excited to get back
to work and everything else. And then as I remember it,
(02:40):
it was like the whisperings of like, hey, there's this
fire that's happening, and then it was I think physically
in person, and then obviously word of mouth, and then
the way that things came in through the news. It
went from like there's a little fire to there is
a fire raging and and taking down everything in its path,
(03:03):
and very quickly because of what comes every single year,
which is the Santa Ana wins, and they are very
very fast winds that pick up any little thing. So
in this case, it picked up all the embers and
took them through a large, large, large amount of space,
(03:29):
densely populated, and there were multiple fires. The fire that
was in the area that I spent my high school years.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
And then you know, yeah, I remember sending Jess last
week a list of places in the Palisades, which I
wasn't familiar with. That's a little far from me. But
actually when we had done the jingle ball, I had
stayed with you at your family's house and the Palisades
and we sort of like ventured around, but I'd sent
you a list of places that I knew had gone
within I mean, I want to say, within twenty four hours,
(04:01):
and you were like, wow, these are these are all
the places that I took my kids to this was
my life when I lived in Los Angeles, and this
area's gone right.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Which I had a very very strange relationship with because
I this is so not about me, and I was
far away and I was getting this information, and I
was very mindful and clear that the only thing that
mattered in these initial moments was life and those who
(04:33):
were in peril, getting people out of the way and
containing it. Because it was so clear how devastating it
was and how quickly it was taking things down, and
because so many of my friends and loved ones are
still there, I then again not understanding because you also
have to remember, I can't tell you how many times
(04:56):
I evacuated my house from when I was fifteen, from
when I was you know, twenty, my whole life, you've
evacuated because you're near the canyons and that's where the
fires come, and they it just it was nothing unfamiliar.
But what was unfamiliar was then how quickly I was
being sent videos from friends of completely destroyed, like everything
(05:21):
was flattened. There was not there wasn't anything. And one
particular video I got had you couldn't tell where you
were where it was being taken from and then all
of a sudden, you see this corner and I saw
this small white brick like kind of pony wall that
wrapped around this corner, because again I couldn't figure out
(05:42):
which street they were videoing, and I was like, oh,
I know where I am. That's the white brick pony
wall that my kids would stand on top of and
foot over foot. They would use the way that kids
do walk the balance beam and we would go to
Beach Street Peace and then we'd grab frozen yogurt at
(06:02):
the yogurt shop, and yeah, everything was gone. It was
completely completely gone.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I do not live in the Palisades, but I think,
you know, we, like Jessica said, we've had fires here before.
I've never had to evacuate. I've never had an evacuation
warning or anything. And I think you you always feel like, Okay,
at some point it's sort of out of the way
and it's going to be contained, and it's they're going
to send out these warnings, but they'll figure it'll be
(06:32):
figured out. And I think that it happened so fast
and there was so much destruction so quick.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You're making me think of talking to friends who on
the day because it was happening so fast, got the
faatall from a school in the palasaids saying come pick up,
you know if you got to go, and the the
the deluge of people in that state of mind trying
to get their children and then oh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You mean just grab their children from taking their children
up to get them out, and then just just like
the orderliness.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Of it or lack thereof. And then I know many
people who once they got their kids, got onto sunset
and there was fire all around and they actually had
to make the decision to pull their car over and
get out of the car. And there were people running
in the streets and they were running down towards the
water and then to phs further and then back up
(07:29):
to their homes if they were not in the evacuation zone.
I mean it just listen. These these kinds of situations
are just horrific. They're your worst nightmare. And and not
being there and hearing about it, but knowing so specifically
the places that this was all happening, Yeah, yeah, it
(07:50):
was it. And again, like I said, not about me,
not about me or my feelings about it at all.
All I cared about was how is this being contained,
How are people safe and what are they going to
do now? And I and it seems like that's what
people are focusing on right now, is like what are
the next best steps? Because the entirety of it is insane.
(08:11):
And then you saw what was happening on social media
and people were posting things and it just you.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Know, I also feel like what people that don't live
here maybe don't know is that it wasn't just one
fire too. What was happening was fires were picking up
over in Pasadena, which is really far from the Palisades.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And then the.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Eaton, I mean it was written there are so many
different fires everywhere, and it traveled so fast in those
winds that it was not a lot of time before
we saw it the smoke up on the hills. I
could see the flames, and then we all got the
notices and we had to go. And in that situation,
also I realized I'm absolutely fucking terrible in an emergency.
(08:52):
First Off, I'm not someone that wants to leave. I
don't want to leave. I was, but I was happy
to be home because you would need.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Me in this situation.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But I need you. Let's go. We are leaving no
that's what Matt was like. We got the notice and
he was like, we're gone. We're going right now.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Also, growing up in LA maybe it just got ingrained.
Not growing up, I grew up everywhere, but having gone
to high school in Los Angeles, it was ingrained in me.
Like I knew where you always had a double bag.
That was the earthquakes and fires. You just were ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Here's the thing, though, I did think about this. Earthquakes, yes,
but in an earthquake situation, we have like a closet
full of stuff. But I don't have anything in my car.
I did not have a bag packed. I packed some
somewhat of a bag very very fast. I grabed shit
that didn't freaking matter. I grabbed a fing curling iron,
(09:46):
no deodorant, no bra. But I don't know what. It's
like a salon where I'm going. I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, you're not thinking, you're not thinking straight. No one's
thinking straight.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No, no, And now I'm they don't feel out of
it is the truth. Because we have the warning. Still,
I'm taking my dogs everywhere with me because people got
the evacuation. If you get a mandatory evacuation, we're in
a warning. Right now, you can't get back into your
house if your pets are there. They won't let you
go into your home. It's too dangerous. So the dogs
(10:20):
are with me everywhere. I mean, I have like five
dogs on my lap drive.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Wait, let's talk about these unbelievable I already have just
a resting, static, deep admiration for firefighters.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
But in these situations, they are superheroes. To me, they
are superheroes, and it's all been documented. My feeling that
they are superheroes is absolutely true. I've seen it on film,
I've seen it in stills. I mean, what these women
and men are doing to help save people from these
(10:55):
fires is absolutely herculean. It is superhero shit. And I
mean I just honestly it makes it. It makes me
feel really emotional. I know it made me.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
It is amazing. And also I have to shout out.
Canada and Mexico sent help. I saw the I could
see from our uh from upstairs, from our bedroom, I
could see the Canadian super Scoopers, which I had never
heard of before. And there are these huge planes that
were going and scooping water from Santa Monica and the
(11:28):
ocean and bringing it back to the valley and it
felt like it felt like miracle had arrived, like it
felt it just and and and it's not over. Yeah, Yeah,
it's still happening. They're still fighting what needs to be bought.
We still have winds.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Well, we have lots of resources that were lucky to
pull together.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yes, please go to our call at what it is Instagram.
We are going to be putting links to.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Many different organizations.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, different resources at are helping with all the different
things that people need to be helped with right now.
And so please go check it out. Yeah, and anything
any little amount can can help go a long way
at this point.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And I also, I mean personally, just to throw this
out there, I have multiple friends who have personal friends
that have forwarded me their go fund me pages. I
think that when you when you actually know a person
that knows the person, it gives me great comfort to
(12:37):
know that it's going to be getting to the right place.
And I think that there's just there's no too small amount.
It's it's really just about all coming together and giving
whatever it is that you can.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And I have to say that's about Los Angeles. I've
always felt like the city was super magical, and I
did not grow up here in it. I felt like
very welcomed by this city and the community across the
entire city has come together. There's so much I know,
it sounds so like cheesy le lab and it feels
(13:09):
there's so much love happening right now in Los Angeles
that I don't know. I just had to say that
because I'm proud of the city.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
With that being said, Yes, I We've done an episode
where we were just I mean, lots of stuff comes
up about parenting and we were talking and I was
kind of like, Okay, we can talk about how our
kids drive us nuts or the things that the kids
you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Do, which we've done. We've yeah, we've done yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, Yeah, You've been very I've brought my full authentic.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Self to those conversations. Yeah. I probably there's probably my
Polly shouldn't have said, but I've said it, and the
okay you it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It's okay, it's okay, And it just made me wonder, Mmmm.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's the possible.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh is that the first of twenty five the first?
Oh my god, I wonder back guys, we're back.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Wonder I wonder what our kids would say drives them
nuts about us because I can hear it, and if
I can, if I can say.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Rude, rude, you should just be grateful.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I'm gonna edit this down in like two minutes. You're
welcome giving you life there.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, because listen, I think parents can drive kids crazy too.
We see it all the time. And I've been honest,
there's also some parents that can drive me crazy when
I watch them parenting their.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Kids, and if you know, stop it. But if you
listen to this pod, you know that Martin Leunnington and
still drives me crazy. And I am four.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I sometimes do the awful thing where You'll be in
a restaurant and I'll be like an infant and it'll
be crying and crying and crying and crying, and part
of me really just wants to be like, just give
me the baby, Just give me the baby. Y, do
you have a baby, I'm going to help you out here,
or I kind of want to say, like the baby's hungry,
just give the baby, give the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I would love to see that happen, just see I
would start recording that, like you know what go do that?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Can you imagine I don't know what response I would get.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
No, I wont you of your advice. Back in one
of our early episodes, I don't know why, when you
were like, we're like, how do you meet people? And
you're like, go to the movie theater and strike up
a conversation, Like why don't you do that, Jess?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, so you think it's not a good idea to
take someone's baby and feed.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Them without no. No, So like, next time we're together,
why don't you be like just go feed them?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yeah, baby, your baby's hung or your mayby's tired, your baby's.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Tired, you should definitely vocally give advice like that.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Okay, but here's the thing. Parents drive kids crazy, right,
they're constantly nagging, or they're telling you what to do,
or maybe they're not listening to the kid's opinions. Maybe
they're comparing their kids to other kids, or they're being
overprotective I get that one, or not respecting their privacy,
not growing with them into their next maturity level and
(16:27):
letting them kind of like bigger up right, or giving
unsolicited advice. And as we know, this can carry on
into your forties. I've spoken about the suggestion box and
when it's been open to my parents being overly controlling
(16:48):
or feeling to see their kids for who they are
or wanting them to be different, and so I, you know,
I'm sort of curious about, you know, the kids. How
do the kids feel? How do the kids feel about
the parents I have recently?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think I don't know if it's doctor Becky there, somebody,
I mean, what we a Lisa Pressman. We need to
have all the parents.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I want them to so much.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I did ask the kids. I've asked them a couple
of times now, and I felt like I was doing
such a good parenting job and I was like, you guys, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You are, you are whatever it was, you are whatever?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, yeah, you know. I was like, you guys, it's
time for mom and dad feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Why don't you just let us know you send this
to your kids?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah. I was like, let us know how we can improve.
And it was like such a bullshitty response. I'm asking
like four and seven year olds.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
They're like, I feel like Hayden probably had like a
list ready to go, and Lucas was kind of what.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was all bullshit. It was all like, let us
stay up later.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, yeah, I want candy for bread, and I was like,
never mind, yeah, yeah, we're not ready for this. Nope, no,
I know what, I'm just kidding. I take it back.
I don't want your feedback. Okay, was there anything that
your parents drove did that drove you crazy when you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Were kidding me?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Are you a million things again? Martin Lueddington, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Oh, the luds. The luds, I mean, you know, tweets
their own. I mean, it's it's much easier. My mom
have four kids. You have four kids. You know what
it's like, she have four kids, I would have lost
my mind. And my parents regularly, uh lost their shit,
you know, like it was. You know, we were annoying
(18:31):
and we had a small we were in close quarterers
with them. And I think one of the most annoying
things though, is my dad Martin luds. He does tend
to think that he is an expert and he's always
been this way on everything. Yeah, that he's had, Like
(18:51):
it doesn't matter what job, like coding, you I mean,
like he would know how to code. He has, no,
he can't even I don't even know if he knows
how to turn all laptop at this point. But if
I got into coding, he would know the better way
to code. And he's been like that since I was little.
So even when I was like little taking acting.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Classes, he was doing scene study with you.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I'm not kidding. Yes he would. I would like do
a little like monologue or whatever. And now I'm young,
like twelve, and he'd like, kime, let me just have
a go of this. And you think I'm lying, You
think I'm just like making this a good story. Yeah,
And his well, he always tells me he's taking on
(19:30):
a character in Little Women. Yeah, he's like Joe Moot,
hand it over. He tells me that he was in
one fucking play back in high school and it was
like some Shakespeare thing and that was his moment. And
I don't know, and so he knows better. And so
the advice, the advice part of the know it all
(19:52):
advice part was really irritating. What about you growing up? Like,
what was the thing?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Same theme, It's the same theme. It's the unsolicited advice.
It's the lecturing, Like even when they're so well meaning
and mine all are, you know, like, even when they
really are just doing it for your benefit, it still
feels like a lecture when you're a teenager. And then
I think, because this is just sort of how it goes,
(20:20):
they as the youth start to gain independence. I feel
like I do this in my own parenting. You like
see this window closing, and you're like, oh my god,
I need to download all this important information otherwise my
child is going to perish in the world. And so
I need to like get it all in, even though
(20:41):
I was putting it in for the past, yes whatever,
however many years, but I need to really really cram
it in now. And I feel like that last horizon
is usually like sex and alcohol or.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Draw and our drugs. Right, Okay, so let me ask
you this question. If if you have a conversation with
your kids about sex, do they want to die a
little bit inside?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I mean, I'm assuming they probably do.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay, we had Luke and Eve, those are her two
oldest kiddos. If we had them on the show right
now and we said, what is the thing that mom
does that annoys you the most? What do you think
their answers would be?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
It's actually not the open conversations about the sex or alcohol.
I like, I will buy that. Maybe I'm totally wrong,
but I always kind of think that I come in
low pro like not too smooth, not like, guys, I
got this, but like I feel like.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I do think you have it.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yeah you were by the way, remember when you were
in the car and huh.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, you guys had a great we.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Were having a conversation, and I think I'm pretty good
at just like listening. Yeah, and then yeah, then I
share my feelings if I get my feelings hurt or
if I've hurt feelings, I deeply believe in the in
the repair and the reset and or getting a redo
like I might have totally shit the bed on that one,
let's take it back. So yeah, I feel like I
(22:08):
have an open suggestion box for them. Doesn't mean I'm
always gonna, you know, the regularity with which I read
the suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's open, but it's dusty.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's a little dusty.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, but I think that uh, I think the things
that start to become Because I said this before and
you really didn't like it, but little kids, little problems,
big kids, big problems.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Right, I don't like it, I know, but I'm just saying,
like little kids.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You're there at the park with them, saying like don't
go down the slide right behind someone so that you
know you don't have a pile up or you hurt
each other. And that would really just be like an ouch.
But then when they get big, you're talking about you know,
you're talking about sex, you're talking about alcohol, you're talking
about drugs. One of my biggest and the things that
(22:56):
my girlfriends and I talked about that I think is
so hard is is the two things can be true.
I can say to you, I don't think you should
do X Y and Z. I don't want you to
do X Y and z. If you do X Y
and Z, please know that I'm here to talk to
you about it or help you or pick you up
(23:19):
or all that. Like, it's a very mixed message. I
think when they get older and it's not just an
ouch on a slide, it's a real no.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I know big. I mean you talked about like even
Luke driving. I mean, now you're dealing. I get it,
Like I understand why big problems, right. I don't like it.
I don't want to hear it. But driving a car, yeah,
that's that's some serious stuff. Obviously. I have to say
my parents were really good. There was four of us
and you have you know, your parents have eighteen kids.
(23:51):
They're really good at not hitting sailings against each other.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
We never had that, No, But I think I don't
know if it was doctor Becky or someone recently, and
they were talking about sibling rivalry. It's not even what
the parents do to the kids. I mean, I'm sure
there are kids where parents might not handle it in
the most fist kid way. But even in a family,
if like let's say the parents are really even, like
(24:16):
very even distribution of praise, love, all the things, the
kids are still looking at their siblings, like who's got
the stronger connection?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
There's rivalry.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, yeah, they're like who's in pole position right now.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's funny though, because I don't I never felt that.
Did you feel that growing up? I did not feel
that growing up, probably because I felt the best.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was gonna say that's probably because felt like we were.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I was very goal oriented, and I didn't like getting
in trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble, so getting
inside stuff that as much as I could, I was not. No,
I did not like getting in trouble. I also think
in the disciplining, very early on, I mean what nerd
buckets we were. But like I truly think Luke was
six months old when Christopher and I took a parenting
(25:11):
class and it was with the most amazing woman named
Mary Hartzel who wrote this incredible book and then she
wrote another book with this incredible doctor, doctor Dan Siegel.
But I remember the very most important first class lynch
pin moment and it was up on the chalkboard or
(25:32):
dry erase board, whatever it was, and it was the
definition of discipline and it is to teach. And I
remember that staying with me because I think as a kid,
I really thought discipline was like consequences, Yeah, good old
fashioned stanking and just being like I am afraid and anyways,
(25:58):
so I did always think about it. That is sort
of a launching pad and to discipline with the kids
where I'm like, okay, if someone if one of the
kids has done something really naughty or terrible or has
some big fallout or whatever, like what do they need
to learn to not do it again? Right? Like what's
the teaching what's the teaching piece? And each kid is
(26:19):
different each and because each kid learns differently, so I mean, yeah,
I think you know.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
What I love this is off subject a little bit,
but I'm just like, this is what I love about
us being friends because we're so similar in so many
ways and we're so different. You took a parenting class
at nine months old six six, sorry six, way too late.
At nine you would have missed the window. I didn't
(26:48):
read a single book. I got all the books sent
to me right like what to expect. Didn't give a shit.
I was like, I'll expect whatever it is it comes
and single Lama's class.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I just figured I'll get in the room and people
have been doing this forever, and I'll figure out the
breathing and I'll just push.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Now.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Really, I was starting to really understand our trips together.
When we land in a new house, well, when we
land in a new city, yeah, And I say, what
would you like to do? And you're like, I'm just
like the windw blow us in the right direction. Yeah yeah,
Or you'll carry me. I'll just jump on your back
and you'll walk and carry me wherever I need. But
(27:29):
I need a you.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's why I need a you, because I would end up,
you know, on the wrong part of town.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Well, and I need a willing participant, that's just gonna
listen to me. Tell them that they're gonna have Tai
food for dinner tonight.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I'm like, sounds good, That's great.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
I'm allergic to that, but I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Was there anything that your parents did that you actually
loved that you now might do with your kids.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I loved so many things. I think the main thing
that I really loved is they truly made me feel
made all of us feel like we could do anything. Yes,
mine too like anything, which is why I came here
with zero money and was like, Oh, how take it
in Hollywood? I think it. I mean it might have
(28:30):
been slight delusion, by the way, but delusion is necessary
in that situation for sure, not grandiosity.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I never thought I was bigger than the moment. Like
I never thought like, oh, I'm so fantastic. I will
clearly master this and they will all be watching. I
just felt that I could meet the challenge, like I
had the confidence to meet the challenge and know that however,
I was going to make it through it. I was
(28:58):
going to make it through it, like I didn't know
I'd be successful.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Truly, if we're going to call what it is, I
think I had a little bit of grandiosity. You did, Okay,
yeah I did because I came and I when for actors,
you hear the statistic that it's like, you know, point
zero zero two percent of people ever even can make
a living out of acting, right, And I came and
I thought like, I'm gonna take over a stout watch
out because Camilla's arrived. And I was walking around, truly
(29:28):
with so much confidence that it was going to happen that,
you know, when I was waiting tables and they're like, oh,
how long have you worked too, I'm like, don't worry
about it. I'm going to be an actress. It wasn't
about fame, and it wasn't about like winning awards. It
was just like, this was my calling. I was going
to do it and I'm great at it. But my parents,
(29:48):
my parents made me feel that way. So I want
I want my kids to have that same feeling.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Yeah, that the possibilities are are are endless for them.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
And if you if you put hard work in, no
matter where you're starting from, I believe that you can
you can achieve. I don't know what level, but I
do believe you can achieve. And you and I say
this about ourselves a lot as adults, even which I
hope hopefully we've earned. Right is I I don't find
(30:24):
myself in situations often where I don't believe that it
won't it won't end up being okay. Like I if
I get stuck in the mountain, I'm getting down. I
don't know how it may but it maybe you know.
I don't know, but I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
It's funny you see this because this is off subject too,
but I've I recently read about and well, let's do
an episode on this because I find it so interesting.
I think part of that for me, that feeling for
me is faith and like the universe figuring it out,
which some people will think it's very woo wo, but
that's how I feel. And I read about this lady
(31:07):
and she was called the competition Queen, I want to say,
and it was basically it's a woman that came up
with this formula of entering competitions and winning it and
it was through visualizing, really believing in what was going
to happen. And she won everything she'd entered, including a house,
and she wrote a book and it's the same as
sort of the secret that you know we all heard
(31:29):
about back in you know, the two thousands. But I
think that you can manifest stuff for yourself. Now we're
off subject. We need to do a whole manifesting episode.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Yeah, and what that even means, because there's a way
to do it.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, No, she has a specific way of doing it.
It's very interesting. Okay, so we threw it out to
the crew.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
We did. Oh, I just want to say this one
other piece, which is when I think about the times
that I have made mistakes with my kids, Like I've
actually named a couple of them on the show at
different episodes. But when I've just gotten it wrong right,
I've yelled at the wrong kid, or I've been in
my own personal crisis and taken it out on someone,
or my patience just wasn't where I wanted it to be.
(32:11):
I have said it before and I'll say it again.
I'm a huge fan of the redo. It's not even
the reset, it's a redo, it's the you know what,
I really got that wrong? I yelled at you, or
I blamed you, or I wasn't even listening to you,
and I got it wrong, and I think that people
(32:34):
often do get it wrong because that's life, and then
they think that's it right as parents, like I completely
fucked up my kid, the moment of be yelling is
going to live in perpetuity in their mind and it's
going to shame them and they're going to have issues
around whatever that issue was for the rest of their life.
And I think that that's crap. I think that's total bullshit.
(32:55):
I think you can go back, and it's hard because
it's not fun to have a reckoning with your own wrongness,
But I think you really can go back and be like,
I messed it up, And if I could do it
over again, I would ask this, I would have said
this and have that moment, because I do think that
that's the key to you know, fostering and developing young
(33:21):
people who can communicate efficiently and talk.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
And I had this moment actually about three days ago.
We'd evacuated. We were out, and my kids have been stuck.
You know, we only had one day of school here
in Los Angeles and there everything's shut down. So my
kids have been together NonStop, right and at this point
they want to kill each other. There's no doubt right.
They're arguing over everything. We were in the car driving
(33:47):
and I was exhausted and all the things, and they
were arguing. They'd found this little squidgy toy that had
like dog hair on it at the bottom of their
seat in the car, and they decided that that was
the most important thing they'd ever seen in their lives
and it definitely belonged to them, right, And so this
argument ensued, and they've been arguing over every single toy
(34:10):
that's mine, now, that's your. You gave it to me,
you promised me that. And I just lost it, Like
I flawn yelled and I was yell. I couldn't stop.
There was not the decibel was at like explosive right
hours I and it lasted. The yelling lasted a good
(34:31):
three full minutes, like I couldn't stop, and they were stunned.
And I was like, then that's what you get kind
of thing, you know. Not that I was, but that
was the vibe. And I came. I came back to
where we were staying and I said to Matt, like,
I feel so guilty because they're in it's like a
(34:54):
pressure cooker here and it's just of course these arguments are.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We're all tired, we're all we've on top of each other.
And so I bought the kids back in and into
the room and I said, you know, I'm really sorry,
I'm really stressed out, and I'm really sorry to that
I had. I had to redo. And it looks at me.
She's so cude. She's like, mom, I get it. Yeah,
(35:19):
little seven year old. Just like again, they do.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
And hopefully given that you are her you know, truest
north and her role model, and I know how much
she loves you. You you gave her permission in a
future moment that she doesn't even know yet to know
that saying that you were wrong is yeah, the right
thing to do. Yeah, I just revisit it, and I
(35:42):
think that it's really people don't say they're wrong. People
have a really hard time with saying that they're wrong,
that they got it wrong, or that they need help.
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I actually it is hard. I in my twenties I
really had a hard time saying I was wrong. For sure.
I have learned that it's such a release, honestly, to
admit fault. I think that it like really takes the
pressure off to be able to say, like own the
stories feels good. It really feels good to be like,
(36:16):
I'm sorry that. I don't know why I said that,
as opposed to like standing your ground in it when
you're when you've reached the point of like you're starting
a question. You know, back in the day, when I
was like arguing with the boyfriend, it didn't whatever that
was that I had said. I was like, now you've
got to stick, you know, you've gotta.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Oh, it's the hell you'll die on. You're not abandoning
your That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You're not abandoning No, no, no, even when they've shown
you the actual proof that you're wrong, You're like.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That, no, no, no. And I love debate. I'll go,
I'll go, I'll go all day every day.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Let's go another hill, another one.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Okay, right, so now back to where our crew. Let
us know what really annoys them about your parents.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
We asked the tweens, the teens, and the adolescents of
the Call It crew, and here is what they had
to say.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Clara said, my parents annoy me so much when they'd
either tell me that I'm out too much or when
I stay home that I stay in too much. So
what exactly am I supposed to do here? Oh, Clara,
I need more specifics? Yeah, where are you going? And
then what are you doing when you're home? Because if
you're like looking off and like playing video games and like,
(37:30):
you know, acting with a general sloth when you're home,
then they're there. They might be right to get you.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I love a sloth, though I know you do.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
You're much more slothy than me.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
I'm way more slothy. Okay, I never heard the.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Term couch rot before.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yeah, bedrot, couch rot. Yeah, it's in baby. Thank god,
I'm finally on trend.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Oh my god. Okay, tell me what Kyla said.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Kyla said, my mother will ask me what I'm doing,
and I will say I'm sitting down relaxing, and she
will reply, well, I was too funny. Poor woman must
have sore legs and feet. I gotta say this was
my dad. My dad is someone that if I was
sitting on the couch, I would feel very guilty. He
would vacuum right by my feet around the toes, you know,
(38:17):
just to make sure I knew that he was up
and doing something that I could have also been doing.
That's why I love. That's why when I have my
own place now, I love it. I can see the
couch now. I was going to vacuum my toes.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I know my family is very much that way too.
It was like that. I remember there was at one
point it was like, if you're if you're if you're leaning,
you should be cleaning. If you're if you've got time
to lean, you've got time to clean. I just want
to lean. I want to lean. Wow, Laura says. Whenever
(38:53):
my parents get upset about small things in restaurants, like
not enough ketchup or something similar, they call the waiter
and complain and argue. I know they're right because they
paid for the dish, but I feel ashamed when they
argue in front of everyone because I would have let
it go. And in those moments, I want the earth
to swallow me up.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I'm with you, Laura, and Laura, I'm with you, and
I have this parent. My dad is a oh yeah,
he's a ketchup complainer, oh big time. In fact, he'll
look and it's this is a real story. He came
to the restaurant that I was waiting tables at, and
I waited on him, and he complained to my manager
(39:30):
about me. That's a true story. Well that's real and
lud oh yeah, and it is embarrassing. It's definitely embarrassing
and they need to chill out, do you know what
I mean. We're not even at a fancy restaurant, you
know what I mean, Like, we're you know, Chili's. And
he's like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Also, I really do believe that people who complain at
restaurants never worked in restaurants. It's why I feel that
all my kids need to be in food service at
some point, because it teaches you how to treat people
who are there to be of service. And by the way,
this isn't to say that I haven't had shitty waiters
and waitresses.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I have and I have.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
You know, I mean whatever, I think that there's ways
you can get back.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It's not about like, it's not about you know, your
food's cold and you got to send it back. It's
just there's My dad does it in a way where
he feels as soon as he sits down in that seat,
he give you it chuck e cheese, and he feels
entitled right like the world is serving him.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Oh mart, oh god, okay, the mart Okay, Destiny said,
being overbearing. I'm twenty two and I haven't lived with
my mom since I was nineteen. We're trying to have
a relationship again because I just want a mom and
she just is so narcissistic and overbearing. I don't know
how to have a normal relationship with her when she
can't see her own faults. It's hot. This is like
(40:54):
the sorry part really right.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Like, well, I mean, I don't know if we're ready
to go into this, but I'm really desperate to have
a guest whose name is mel Robbins talk about her
let them theory.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What's the let them theory?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Well, I really want to have her on to describe,
but I will just say in this instance, I would
say that, I mean, everybody wants to have a mom,
But if your mom is narcissistic and overbearing and can't
get out of her own way, you kind of just
got a letter and then it's up to you what
(41:29):
kind of relationship you want to have with that. Like,
if she's gonna always, if she's being her right, that's
truly who she is, then you're likely not going to
change her.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So to let them is almost like the letting go
of trying to change them in a way it's hard.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Yeah, two step process, which is there is because you
could just become a doormat if you really just let
everyone do everything right. It's a let them, like, let
them be who they're gonna be, right, the friend that's
always late, the friend that doesn't show up for you,
the parent that behaves in such a way to let them,
let them be who they are. But then it's let
me figure out whether or not I want to participate
(42:09):
in it, or what boundary I want to be put
up and be like I don't want to like when
you make everything about you or when you're telling me
everything that's wrong with me and what I should do.
I have a choice. I don't have to be with you,
and the chances of me changing you are pretty small
given human behavior. So I just think that I've been
(42:30):
thinking about it a lot, and it really does seem
to kind of like permeate every circumstance between being like
annoyed in the checkout line by the person who's you know,
putting their groceries on the belt at a glacial pace. Yeah,
you just like interrupt the cycle and you're like let
them I'm just gonna take a breath. I'm gonna pick
(42:53):
up my phone and maybe do something I wasn't going
to do before. But like, okay, like I'm not going
to control this when am I gonnah and puff behind
them like I'm gonna like what are you gonna do?
There's certain things you just gotta let go. Okay, we
need it on, yes I do.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Please please mell Robin's now, Robin's your next.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Okay. So Petro wrote in and said, my parents change
the Netflix password when they're mad at my siblings and I.
It's immature and silly, and I'm with them.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
That's quite funny. That's quite good.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Actually, I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
I'm sure that's funny. That is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
It is.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
It is immature and silly, and I'm gonna support it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Oh I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Okay. Lauren said, whenever we go on holiday as a family,
my parents suddenly lose all sense of direction and common sense.
How we ever got anywhere when we were younger is
a mystery. That's really funny and so annoying.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Then they they need you to become the team leader.
They're just they need you to get out your phone.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Like like I do when we go play. You're just
google maps it. I'm speaker. That's very funny, Lauren, I'm sorry,
but yeah, that is funny, okay.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Inter Ellie says when they act like they didn't do
anything wrong when they were younger, or when they act
like they didn't do much worse things than we're doing.
I know my parents misbehaved as teens. They were not perfect.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
They weren't perfect.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
No one was no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Some stupid shit, And I hope all I can do,
honestly is really just pray that my kids don't do
as much stupid shit as I do did.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, I'm not at that point yet where I have
teens where I have to figure out, like I put
myself in some pretty bad jam, I know, like to
what extent do you share how how stupid you were?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Do you mention it all? Do you say it all? Or
do you sort of? Is there a censorship inappropriate?
Speaker 1 (45:09):
It started to come out because again I am a
seventeen year old and I have a fourteen year old. Yeah,
I found myself in a super like moment because I
have to tell me, I gotta walk my talk. And
I'm like, yeaven with my kids and I'm honest with.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Them, and.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
There's a moment where they're like, so, how old were
you and you had sex?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
And You're like, god, you're like one.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Thirty damn And I am sex positive right, and I go,
but I'm not the thing. All this shit really like
comes that flies in your face because you're like, oh
my gosh, the things I say don't actually match the
things that I would do, or my idea being sex positive,
or my idea that everyone should have a healthy relationship
with sex and the connection and everything all the bloody
(46:03):
blah blah blah. But then you're like, my baby, You're like,
because these young people are just babies.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Oh god, yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I don't I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
I got to figure out. I thought everything moves up
a little bit, right, you got to add two years,
two or three years to everything. When there's the first
time you drank. I've never drink never, Okay, Carmel said,
this might sound dumb, but it makes me upset when
my parents open my door to talk. Then don't close
(46:38):
the door when they leave. I find it so rude.
That's a big teenager move. The teenager move. Yes, you've
got to reclose the door.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
The threshold moment when it's almost like true whenever it happens,
it happens completely until it's over. But they go from
being totally down to have whatever door open whenever, yeah,
to being like, as you're walking out the door, can
you please close my door?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
And oh my god, wow, okay, of where's have you
ever such a rejection? Have you ever knocked on the
door to go in and they've not let you in?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
No?
Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, no, no, no, no, okay no. But I actually and Christopher
and I are different in this way. I always do knock.
I might, I might knock and then open like it
might need one motion. But I always give like a
little bit of a I'm coming. I'm not worried that
they're hiding anything. I just I believe in privacy.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Yeah, well, I mean there could be changing or something too.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
You can make it.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
In your room, right does CHRISTA would do like the Seinfeld,
like you know that guy's Seinfeld that like slid in
with the door, just open it a little bamboozle.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, just open it.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Sometimes there's a bamboozle. Yeah. I don't know. Man and I.
If Man and I had this conversation right now, I'm
telling you, he'd be like, I'm not knocking. Yeah, but
it's gonna change.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
It's gonna change, and your kids change it for you too,
because some of them won't.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
They just won't.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
That will not be okay with them.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Now we're gonna hear. We're gonna get that the suggestion box.
We'll get the feedback, get the feedback back.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Michaela wrote in and she said, I'm nineteen and a
sophomore in college. My parents still track my phone and
call me when I'm out late. I understand it's out
of love and they want to protect me, but they
use it against me. They also pay for my school,
So at what point is it not okay anymore for
them to stalk me?
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Mikaela, this is what I'm going to be doing. I will,
but we've talked about this. I'm a tracker, yeah, and
it's probably and call on you're out, I mean, nineteen
year in college. I don't know if I'm assuming that
you're in college and that's what you're talking about Yeah,
I'm not going to call them if they're out late,
probably just because I won't know. But am I going
(48:55):
to track? Yeah, I'm tracking.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
I have a conflicted relationship with this.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
I know we we we were not the same. You're
on a tracker?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Really well no, but I well, I think my conflicted
relationship is I am I mean, in my heart of heart,
it's what I want to do. Is I want to know.
I don't want to I don't want to check the tracking.
I just want to know that if we were in
a situation where on a expected communication wasn't happening right,
(49:28):
like hey where are you and I didn't hear back,
and then it was like really abnormal and they weren't
answering me, I would want to know that I could
track them. He also just I've heard so many stories
about the tracking being able to really make a difference
(49:49):
for someone who is in a little bit of trouble.
Of course, so as much as I mean, Mikayla, I listen,
I don't. I would hope to not use the tracking
against my child, but I would hope to use the
tracking for my child, like to to help, not to
like penalize or.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the the penalizing is annoying
unless you're lying. If you're like, hey, I'm at Ralph's
grabbing a sandwich and then you can see that you're
downtown at the club.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
That would happened to me as a kid. Hold on,
I'm just ordering my I'm sorry, ordered my frozen yogurt.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah, I'm not a double so like what kind of
yoga is that?
Speaker 1 (50:37):
It's no, you don't.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Worry about it. No, I I'm gonna be a bad tracker.
I already know, like you know the little like you
know the little I've the Apple trackers. I'm gonna be
putting those. I'm gonna dig out a little hole in her.
You're gonna tacks. I'm gonna air attack or.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
STI people who their kids, especially at like Disneyland or whatever.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Oh air tags all over show? Are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yeah, yeah, Lise. When my parents compare how they were
as young adults compared to my generation, which is gen
Z like getting a house at a young age, or
not being sensitive work ethic, et cetera. Like, clearly we
are living in different times. Rent was a dollar fifty
back then and now it's a million.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Dollars for a one bedroom.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
Gen Z is more emotionally aware and outspoken, not sensitive
in finding work is a lot more competitive, with everyone
requiring years of experience. It drives me nets. Please don't compare.
Times are different, that's true. You gotta grow, Yeah, you
gotta come on.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
I don't know, though, I'm you know, I'm of the millennials,
and we can relate to this. I think the millennial
parents are not the it's the boomers really that had
that like amazing situation where the rent was a dollar fifty.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Yeah, and they all worked really hard.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
It was really hard. It works really hard, really hard.
And I walked miles to school.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah. And they had babies young.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah they did. Yeah, and that they had a house.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Things were just so much more. I mean, good news,
bad news. Things were so much more.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
I feel like maybe stable, I don't know what the
word is.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Yeah, but like the like there wasn't as much possibility
to be something outside of what had come before you.
It was like there was a prescription on some level,
like what was going to happen. You were going to
have you were gonna get married, you were gonna have kids,
and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
The expectations maybe were different, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because my generation would be
the one that then is in that Sandwich generation where yeah,
we didn't have I mean I was still pretty young
when I had kids, but a lot of people in
my generation didn't have kids until they were in their thirties.
And now they've got parents that are aging and maturing
(52:50):
at the same time that they're really raising young kids.
So yeah, sort of that's the generation that has a
hard time figuring out how to take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, you're the Sammy NAMMY's Okay, Courtney, say, ah.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
My dad still buys me dolls. I am twenty three
years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items. What are we
talking about here, like a what do we like? A
Cafish patch? What do we say?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
American girl?
Speaker 4 (53:24):
Doll?
Speaker 2 (53:25):
American girl.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
That's cute, though, I mean, but I can see very annoying.
I mean, if you're twenty three, yeah, that's pretty annoying. Yeah,
it is annoying, all right, Hannah, I'm with you, Courtney.
Hannah said, Hey, Jess and Camilla, I'm sixteen, almost seventeen,
and something my parents do that absolutely makes me insane
is when I have my AirPods in listening to music
(53:46):
and they insist on having a conversation. If I don't
have them in, it's silent, But for some reason they
choose to talk to me about things while I'm mid
Taylor Swift. It's so annoying. How do I tell them
to stop in a way that doesn't mean As a
future surgeon who looks up to your characters.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
I love the pod and Grace, I love you, well,
we love a future surgeon, Yes we do.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Uh yeah, I would just I think I would like
point to the ear. I would like point to my
ear and be like, yeah, I can't hear you.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
Oh, because that's gonna go down. Well, like you're a
sixteen year old and your mom's like and you're like,
I just sorry, these are in Yeah, that's gonna be
definitely respected. Sorry, just just literally tap on them. Just
so annoying. This is this is tale as old as time.
Don't think I didn't have a CD, A Walkman, yep,
(54:36):
a CD, little disc Man Discman and the things on.
And I mean those things were obvious, you can even
they weren't hidden whatsoever. And the parents still wanted to
have a convo, and I was mid you know the
Britney Spears.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Yeah, hit, maybe one more time.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
I'm trying to think of the Maybe it's this, maybe
you announce like, hey guys, I'm gonna listen to my
album right now. I'm just meaning a little peace to myself.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
So there's a.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Little announcement that happens. Hey guys, I'm gonna take this
time to like listen to my music. Do you guys
have any questions for me? Right now? Ray? Great? Me
and Taylor are off to the races. Okay, Clarissa, I'm
the middle child. Shout out to middle children. Hello, and
(55:23):
a family of five. Me and my oldest sister are
only fourteen months apart, meaning we are practically treated like twins. However,
I am the total opposite of her. While she is
valedictorian and studying to be an engineer. I do decent
in school and do theater while studying journalism. What drives
me nuts is we are constantly told that we have
(55:46):
the support of everyone, but I have been called the
figure it out, do it yourself kid, meaning I don't
have the support of my family. Favoritism is the word
for it. My mom will spend hours of her day
cleaning my sister's room and doing her homework. But for me,
I get scolded that my room is a mess. What
should I do? I want an out, But at the
same time, they are my family. Well, the cleaning of
(56:08):
the room is Derella. Yes, seriously, the Cinderella story. I
don't like the cleaning of the room. That does feel
like favoritism. And I think that that's a conversation. If
you haven't had that, you bring up that's a suggestion box.
Speaker 1 (56:22):
It's like, yeah, it sounds like it sounds like a
team meeting.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
This does not. But also I don't understand why you're
to figure it out do it yourself. Well, I don't
understand why your family is in supporting you.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
I think you need some answers. I think you need
a team meeting, and I think you need to just
I love the eye statements. I feel like, yes is
what happens, And I don't want to feel this way,
but I do feel this way, and like, what can
we do to help me not feel this way?
Speaker 2 (56:50):
Yes, I would hope that if Hayden was feeling this
way that we could have a team meeting. They should
because sometimes I think that parents. You're in a family
of five, right, the chaos is probably happening. I feel
like sometimes parents just are not in their own resilient
zone and know what's going on and are tracking all
of the things, and they might not even be aware
(57:12):
of how this is making you feel. So a sit
down convo and hopefully they're open to it. Clarissa, Yeah,
you're real.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
If you lead with your feelings, I would imagine that
most people you know would lean into the conversation. And
I don't think that any parent is intending to have
that be the story that you tell about your family.
No want that now.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
Oh my gosh. I love hearing all these me too.
It feels good to be back you guys. I'm gonna
I'm gonna be honest when I was don't lie. I'm
not lying. I'm gonna call it what it is. Today,
I wanted to just be in bed, That's all I
wanted to do. It's been a week and I just
wanted to call into bed and fall asleep because I
love my bed and avoid the world. And this has
(58:00):
forced me to not do that, and I'm very grateful.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Yeah, it's very nice to be back with you. You know,
I had to do one on my own, and it
wasn't as much fun.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I loved Brookshields.
Speaker 1 (58:10):
She was fun and she was fantastic. She brought a
ton to it, but I missed my girl.
Speaker 3 (58:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
I listened to that podcast, and I was hoping you'd
be terrible by yourself and it would be very obvious
that you like desperately need me. And it was annoyingly good.
It actually did irritate me a little bit.
Speaker 1 (58:29):
Well, take the compliment, but I will hope that we
do not find ourselves faced with that situation again.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
No no, no, no, no no no, I don't want
to do it about myself.
Speaker 1 (58:42):
We're peanut butter and jelly. To say, I named all
the things, What would you say that we were? I said,
peanut butter and jelly.
Speaker 2 (58:49):
Who are you? Which one are you though? The peanut butter,
the jelly. I don't think you about this Jelly.
Speaker 1 (58:56):
I don't know. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
We've gotta figure out which one we are? Call it crew.
Who's peanut? Who's the peanut butter?
Speaker 1 (59:02):
I think I'm a smooth, kind of like salty sweet
peanut butter.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
I was thinking you're the peanut butter.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (59:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Is not funny how it becomes obvious what you are.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because you're a little you've got
a little bit more together than I have. Oh, call
it crew.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
We love you, we missed you, We missed you, We
love you. That's manifest a great, great, fantastic twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
And please please please hit up our call it what
it is Instagram page and look at the resources that
we've posted. And to send California some some love right.
Speaker 1 (59:42):
Now, so much love, a heart full of love and
a big, big, big hook. Wrap your arms around, California,
and this too shall pass.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
All right, let's call it the end of the episode.
Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Keep and eat.
Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camil Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well, hello, Hello, Hello, Hello Call It crew, and welcome
to another episode of Call It What It Is. You
know what, I just realized the pause was for a reason.
This is our first episode together in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I thought it as I said hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like, wait.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Welcome twenty twenty five. You twenty twenty five. It kind
of a dick.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
You've feel a huge dick, dude.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, yeah, you've made uh like very hard and sad
and challenging and scary.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah we should have joined. Okay, so here here, here's
the real deal. You guys. We always plan an episode
just and I get into it and we figure out
a fun subject and we reach out to you. We
reach out to you guys, and we plan these episodes
and we get so excited and so we do have
an episode that we are going to do. We are
going to do the episode we plan today. However, twenty
(01:19):
twenty five did a derailing of a lot of people's lives,
and so we're going to derail the top of this
episode to talk just.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Talking about what's been going on.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
So for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we
have been dealing. We haven't been watching the news or
haven't yeah, have had the TV off. We've been dealing
with fires, active fires that are still active right now.
In fact, I my house as I'm talking right now,
is still under a an evacuation warning. The block over
(01:54):
is a mandatory evacuation. They can't even come go home
right now. So let's talk about sort of what happened.
Just you were in New York, but you have family here.
Your community was the Palisades, which is an area that
was severely affected. You want to talk a little bit
about that. Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
As these things are.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It's sick.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
You remember the day before, so many people that I
do business with are in Los Angeles. It's the beginning
of the new year. Obviously, there's so many phone calls
where you're just you know, checking in, here's the beginning
of the new year. Here's what's happening. And it was all,
you know, invigorated, and people were excited to get back
to work and everything else. And then as I remember it,
(02:40):
it was like the whisperings of like, hey, there's this
fire that's happening, and then it was I think physically
in person, and then obviously word of mouth, and then
the way that things came in through the news. It
went from like there's a little fire to there is
a fire raging and and taking down everything in its path,
(03:03):
and very quickly because of what comes every single year,
which is the Santa Ana wins, and they are very
very fast winds that pick up any little thing. So
in this case, it picked up all the embers and
took them through a large, large, large amount of space,
(03:29):
densely populated, and there were multiple fires. The fire that
was in the area that I spent my high school years.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
And then you know, yeah, I remember sending Jess last
week a list of places in the Palisades, which I
wasn't familiar with. That's a little far from me. But
actually when we had done the jingle ball, I had
stayed with you at your family's house and the Palisades
and we sort of like ventured around, but I'd sent
you a list of places that I knew had gone
within I mean, I want to say, within twenty four hours,
(04:01):
and you were like, wow, these are these are all
the places that I took my kids to this was
my life when I lived in Los Angeles, and this
area's gone right.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Which I had a very very strange relationship with because
I this is so not about me, and I was
far away and I was getting this information, and I
was very mindful and clear that the only thing that
mattered in these initial moments was life and those who
(04:33):
were in peril, getting people out of the way and
containing it. Because it was so clear how devastating it
was and how quickly it was taking things down, and
because so many of my friends and loved ones are
still there, I then again not understanding because you also
have to remember, I can't tell you how many times
(04:56):
I evacuated my house from when I was fifteen, from
when I was you know, twenty, my whole life, you've
evacuated because you're near the canyons and that's where the
fires come, and they it just it was nothing unfamiliar.
But what was unfamiliar was then how quickly I was
being sent videos from friends of completely destroyed, like everything
(05:21):
was flattened. There was not there wasn't anything. And one
particular video I got had you couldn't tell where you
were where it was being taken from and then all
of a sudden, you see this corner and I saw
this small white brick like kind of pony wall that
wrapped around this corner, because again I couldn't figure out
(05:42):
which street they were videoing, and I was like, oh,
I know where I am. That's the white brick pony
wall that my kids would stand on top of and
foot over foot. They would use the way that kids
do walk the balance beam and we would go to
Beach Street Peace and then we'd grab frozen yogurt at
(06:02):
the yogurt shop, and yeah, everything was gone. It was
completely completely gone.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I do not live in the Palisades, but I think,
you know, we, like Jessica said, we've had fires here before.
I've never had to evacuate. I've never had an evacuation
warning or anything. And I think you you always feel like, Okay,
at some point it's sort of out of the way
and it's going to be contained, and it's they're going
to send out these warnings, but they'll figure it'll be
(06:32):
figured out. And I think that it happened so fast
and there was so much destruction so quick.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
You're making me think of talking to friends who on
the day because it was happening so fast, got the
faatall from a school in the palasaids saying come pick up,
you know if you got to go, and the the
the deluge of people in that state of mind trying
to get their children and then oh.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You mean just grab their children from taking their children
up to get them out, and then just just like
the orderliness.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Of it or lack thereof. And then I know many
people who once they got their kids, got onto sunset
and there was fire all around and they actually had
to make the decision to pull their car over and
get out of the car. And there were people running
in the streets and they were running down towards the
water and then to phs further and then back up
(07:29):
to their homes if they were not in the evacuation zone.
I mean it just listen. These these kinds of situations
are just horrific. They're your worst nightmare. And and not
being there and hearing about it, but knowing so specifically
the places that this was all happening, Yeah, yeah, it
(07:50):
was it. And again, like I said, not about me,
not about me or my feelings about it at all.
All I cared about was how is this being contained,
How are people safe and what are they going to
do now? And I and it seems like that's what
people are focusing on right now, is like what are
the next best steps? Because the entirety of it is insane.
(08:11):
And then you saw what was happening on social media
and people were posting things and it just you.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Know, I also feel like what people that don't live
here maybe don't know is that it wasn't just one
fire too. What was happening was fires were picking up
over in Pasadena, which is really far from the Palisades.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And then the.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Eaton, I mean it was written there are so many
different fires everywhere, and it traveled so fast in those
winds that it was not a lot of time before
we saw it the smoke up on the hills. I
could see the flames, and then we all got the
notices and we had to go. And in that situation,
also I realized I'm absolutely fucking terrible in an emergency.
(08:52):
First Off, I'm not someone that wants to leave. I
don't want to leave. I was, but I was happy
to be home because you would need.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Me in this situation.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
But I need you. Let's go. We are leaving no
that's what Matt was like. We got the notice and
he was like, we're gone. We're going right now.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Also, growing up in LA maybe it just got ingrained.
Not growing up, I grew up everywhere, but having gone
to high school in Los Angeles, it was ingrained in me.
Like I knew where you always had a double bag.
That was the earthquakes and fires. You just were ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Here's the thing, though, I did think about this. Earthquakes, yes,
but in an earthquake situation, we have like a closet
full of stuff. But I don't have anything in my car.
I did not have a bag packed. I packed some
somewhat of a bag very very fast. I grabed shit
that didn't freaking matter. I grabbed a fing curling iron,
(09:46):
no deodorant, no bra. But I don't know what. It's
like a salon where I'm going. I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, you're not thinking, you're not thinking straight. No one's
thinking straight.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No, no, And now I'm they don't feel out of
it is the truth. Because we have the warning. Still,
I'm taking my dogs everywhere with me because people got
the evacuation. If you get a mandatory evacuation, we're in
a warning. Right now, you can't get back into your
house if your pets are there. They won't let you
go into your home. It's too dangerous. So the dogs
(10:20):
are with me everywhere. I mean, I have like five
dogs on my lap drive.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Wait, let's talk about these unbelievable I already have just
a resting, static, deep admiration for firefighters.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
But in these situations, they are superheroes. To me, they
are superheroes, and it's all been documented. My feeling that
they are superheroes is absolutely true. I've seen it on film,
I've seen it in stills. I mean, what these women
and men are doing to help save people from these
(10:55):
fires is absolutely herculean. It is superhero shit. And I
mean I just honestly it makes it. It makes me
feel really emotional. I know it made me.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
It is amazing. And also I have to shout out.
Canada and Mexico sent help. I saw the I could
see from our uh from upstairs, from our bedroom, I
could see the Canadian super Scoopers, which I had never
heard of before. And there are these huge planes that
were going and scooping water from Santa Monica and the
(11:28):
ocean and bringing it back to the valley and it
felt like it felt like miracle had arrived, like it
felt it just and and and it's not over. Yeah, Yeah,
it's still happening. They're still fighting what needs to be bought.
We still have winds.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Well, we have lots of resources that were lucky to
pull together.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yes, please go to our call at what it is Instagram.
We are going to be putting links to.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Many different organizations.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, different resources at are helping with all the different
things that people need to be helped with right now.
And so please go check it out. Yeah, and anything
any little amount can can help go a long way
at this point.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
And I also, I mean personally, just to throw this
out there, I have multiple friends who have personal friends
that have forwarded me their go fund me pages. I
think that when you when you actually know a person
that knows the person, it gives me great comfort to
(12:37):
know that it's going to be getting to the right place.
And I think that there's just there's no too small amount.
It's it's really just about all coming together and giving
whatever it is that you can.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And I have to say that's about Los Angeles. I've
always felt like the city was super magical, and I
did not grow up here in it. I felt like
very welcomed by this city and the community across the
entire city has come together. There's so much I know,
it sounds so like cheesy le lab and it feels
(13:09):
there's so much love happening right now in Los Angeles
that I don't know. I just had to say that
because I'm proud of the city.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
With that being said, Yes, I We've done an episode
where we were just I mean, lots of stuff comes
up about parenting and we were talking and I was
kind of like, Okay, we can talk about how our
kids drive us nuts or the things that the kids
you know.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Do, which we've done. We've yeah, we've done yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, Yeah, You've been very I've brought my full authentic.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Self to those conversations. Yeah. I probably there's probably my
Polly shouldn't have said, but I've said it, and the
okay you it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
It's okay, it's okay, And it just made me wonder, Mmmm.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
That's the possible.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh is that the first of twenty five the first?
Oh my god, I wonder back guys, we're back.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Wonder I wonder what our kids would say drives them
nuts about us because I can hear it, and if
I can, if I can say.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Rude, rude, you should just be grateful.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I'm gonna edit this down in like two minutes. You're
welcome giving you life there.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, because listen, I think parents can drive kids crazy too.
We see it all the time. And I've been honest,
there's also some parents that can drive me crazy when
I watch them parenting their.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Kids, and if you know, stop it. But if you
listen to this pod, you know that Martin Leunnington and
still drives me crazy. And I am four.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I sometimes do the awful thing where You'll be in
a restaurant and I'll be like an infant and it'll
be crying and crying and crying and crying, and part
of me really just wants to be like, just give
me the baby, Just give me the baby. Y, do
you have a baby, I'm going to help you out here,
or I kind of want to say, like the baby's hungry,
just give the baby, give the baby.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I would love to see that happen, just see I
would start recording that, like you know what go do that?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Can you imagine I don't know what response I would get.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
No, I wont you of your advice. Back in one
of our early episodes, I don't know why, when you
were like, we're like, how do you meet people? And
you're like, go to the movie theater and strike up
a conversation, Like why don't you do that, Jess?
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, so you think it's not a good idea to
take someone's baby and feed.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Them without no. No, So like, next time we're together,
why don't you be like just go feed them?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yeah, baby, your baby's hung or your mayby's tired, your baby's.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Tired, you should definitely vocally give advice like that.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Okay, but here's the thing. Parents drive kids crazy, right,
they're constantly nagging, or they're telling you what to do,
or maybe they're not listening to the kid's opinions. Maybe
they're comparing their kids to other kids, or they're being
overprotective I get that one, or not respecting their privacy,
not growing with them into their next maturity level and
(16:27):
letting them kind of like bigger up right, or giving
unsolicited advice. And as we know, this can carry on
into your forties. I've spoken about the suggestion box and
when it's been open to my parents being overly controlling
(16:48):
or feeling to see their kids for who they are
or wanting them to be different, and so I, you know,
I'm sort of curious about, you know, the kids. How
do the kids feel? How do the kids feel about
the parents I have recently?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think I don't know if it's doctor Becky there, somebody,
I mean, what we a Lisa Pressman. We need to
have all the parents.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I want them to so much.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I did ask the kids. I've asked them a couple
of times now, and I felt like I was doing
such a good parenting job and I was like, you guys, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
You are, you are whatever it was, you are whatever?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, yeah, you know. I was like, you guys, it's
time for mom and dad feedback.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Why don't you just let us know you send this
to your kids?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah. I was like, let us know how we can improve.
And it was like such a bullshitty response. I'm asking
like four and seven year olds.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
They're like, I feel like Hayden probably had like a
list ready to go, and Lucas was kind of what.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was all bullshit. It was all like, let us
stay up later.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, yeah, I want candy for bread, and I was like,
never mind, yeah, yeah, we're not ready for this. Nope, no,
I know what, I'm just kidding. I take it back.
I don't want your feedback. Okay, was there anything that
your parents drove did that drove you crazy when you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Were kidding me?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Are you a million things again? Martin Lueddington, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Oh, the luds. The luds, I mean, you know, tweets
their own. I mean, it's it's much easier. My mom
have four kids. You have four kids. You know what
it's like, she have four kids, I would have lost
my mind. And my parents regularly, uh lost their shit,
you know, like it was. You know, we were annoying
(18:31):
and we had a small we were in close quarterers
with them. And I think one of the most annoying
things though, is my dad Martin luds. He does tend
to think that he is an expert and he's always
been this way on everything. Yeah, that he's had, Like
(18:51):
it doesn't matter what job, like coding, you I mean,
like he would know how to code. He has, no,
he can't even I don't even know if he knows
how to turn all laptop at this point. But if
I got into coding, he would know the better way
to code. And he's been like that since I was little.
So even when I was like little taking acting.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Classes, he was doing scene study with you.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I'm not kidding. Yes he would. I would like do
a little like monologue or whatever. And now I'm young,
like twelve, and he'd like, kime, let me just have
a go of this. And you think I'm lying, You
think I'm just like making this a good story. Yeah,
And his well, he always tells me he's taking on
(19:30):
a character in Little Women. Yeah, he's like Joe Moot,
hand it over. He tells me that he was in
one fucking play back in high school and it was
like some Shakespeare thing and that was his moment. And
I don't know, and so he knows better. And so
the advice, the advice part of the know it all
(19:52):
advice part was really irritating. What about you growing up? Like,
what was the thing?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Same theme, It's the same theme. It's the unsolicited advice.
It's the lecturing, Like even when they're so well meaning
and mine all are, you know, like, even when they
really are just doing it for your benefit, it still
feels like a lecture when you're a teenager. And then
I think, because this is just sort of how it goes,
(20:20):
they as the youth start to gain independence. I feel
like I do this in my own parenting. You like
see this window closing, and you're like, oh my god,
I need to download all this important information otherwise my
child is going to perish in the world. And so
I need to like get it all in, even though
(20:41):
I was putting it in for the past, yes whatever,
however many years, but I need to really really cram
it in now. And I feel like that last horizon
is usually like sex and alcohol or.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Draw and our drugs. Right, Okay, so let me ask
you this question. If if you have a conversation with
your kids about sex, do they want to die a
little bit inside?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I mean, I'm assuming they probably do.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay, we had Luke and Eve, those are her two
oldest kiddos. If we had them on the show right
now and we said, what is the thing that mom
does that annoys you the most? What do you think
their answers would be?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
It's actually not the open conversations about the sex or alcohol.
I like, I will buy that. Maybe I'm totally wrong,
but I always kind of think that I come in
low pro like not too smooth, not like, guys, I
got this, but like I feel like.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I do think you have it.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yeah you were by the way, remember when you were
in the car and huh.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, you guys had a great we.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Were having a conversation, and I think I'm pretty good
at just like listening. Yeah, and then yeah, then I
share my feelings if I get my feelings hurt or
if I've hurt feelings, I deeply believe in the in
the repair and the reset and or getting a redo
like I might have totally shit the bed on that one,
let's take it back. So yeah, I feel like I
(22:08):
have an open suggestion box for them. Doesn't mean I'm
always gonna, you know, the regularity with which I read
the suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's open, but it's dusty.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's a little dusty.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, but I think that uh, I think the things
that start to become Because I said this before and
you really didn't like it, but little kids, little problems,
big kids, big problems.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Right, I don't like it, I know, but I'm just saying,
like little kids.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You're there at the park with them, saying like don't
go down the slide right behind someone so that you
know you don't have a pile up or you hurt
each other. And that would really just be like an ouch.
But then when they get big, you're talking about you know,
you're talking about sex, you're talking about alcohol, you're talking
about drugs. One of my biggest and the things that
(22:56):
my girlfriends and I talked about that I think is
so hard is is the two things can be true.
I can say to you, I don't think you should
do X Y and Z. I don't want you to
do X Y and z. If you do X Y
and Z, please know that I'm here to talk to
you about it or help you or pick you up
(23:19):
or all that. Like, it's a very mixed message. I
think when they get older and it's not just an
ouch on a slide, it's a real no.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I know big. I mean you talked about like even
Luke driving. I mean, now you're dealing. I get it,
Like I understand why big problems, right. I don't like it.
I don't want to hear it. But driving a car, yeah,
that's that's some serious stuff. Obviously. I have to say
my parents were really good. There was four of us
and you have you know, your parents have eighteen kids.
(23:51):
They're really good at not hitting sailings against each other.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
We never had that, No, But I think I don't
know if it was doctor Becky or someone recently, and
they were talking about sibling rivalry. It's not even what
the parents do to the kids. I mean, I'm sure
there are kids where parents might not handle it in
the most fist kid way. But even in a family,
if like let's say the parents are really even, like
(24:16):
very even distribution of praise, love, all the things, the
kids are still looking at their siblings, like who's got
the stronger connection?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
There's rivalry.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, yeah, they're like who's in pole position right now.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's funny though, because I don't I never felt that.
Did you feel that growing up? I did not feel
that growing up, probably because I felt the best.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was gonna say that's probably because felt like we were.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I was very goal oriented, and I didn't like getting
in trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble, so getting
inside stuff that as much as I could, I was not. No,
I did not like getting in trouble. I also think
in the disciplining, very early on, I mean what nerd
buckets we were. But like I truly think Luke was
six months old when Christopher and I took a parenting
(25:11):
class and it was with the most amazing woman named
Mary Hartzel who wrote this incredible book and then she
wrote another book with this incredible doctor, doctor Dan Siegel.
But I remember the very most important first class lynch
pin moment and it was up on the chalkboard or
(25:32):
dry erase board, whatever it was, and it was the
definition of discipline and it is to teach. And I
remember that staying with me because I think as a kid,
I really thought discipline was like consequences, Yeah, good old
fashioned stanking and just being like I am afraid and anyways,
(25:58):
so I did always think about it. That is sort
of a launching pad and to discipline with the kids
where I'm like, okay, if someone if one of the
kids has done something really naughty or terrible or has
some big fallout or whatever, like what do they need
to learn to not do it again? Right? Like what's
the teaching what's the teaching piece? And each kid is
(26:19):
different each and because each kid learns differently, so I mean, yeah,
I think you know.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
What I love this is off subject a little bit,
but I'm just like, this is what I love about
us being friends because we're so similar in so many
ways and we're so different. You took a parenting class
at nine months old six six, sorry six, way too late.
At nine you would have missed the window. I didn't
(26:48):
read a single book. I got all the books sent
to me right like what to expect. Didn't give a shit.
I was like, I'll expect whatever it is it comes
and single Lama's class.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I just figured I'll get in the room and people
have been doing this forever, and I'll figure out the
breathing and I'll just push.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Now.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Really, I was starting to really understand our trips together.
When we land in a new house, well, when we
land in a new city, yeah, And I say, what
would you like to do? And you're like, I'm just
like the windw blow us in the right direction. Yeah yeah,
Or you'll carry me. I'll just jump on your back
and you'll walk and carry me wherever I need. But
(27:29):
I need a you.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's why I need a you, because I would end up,
you know, on the wrong part of town.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Well, and I need a willing participant, that's just gonna
listen to me. Tell them that they're gonna have Tai
food for dinner tonight.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I'm like, sounds good, That's great.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
I'm allergic to that, but I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Was there anything that your parents did that you actually
loved that you now might do with your kids.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I loved so many things. I think the main thing
that I really loved is they truly made me feel
made all of us feel like we could do anything. Yes,
mine too like anything, which is why I came here
with zero money and was like, Oh, how take it
in Hollywood? I think it. I mean it might have
(28:30):
been slight delusion, by the way, but delusion is necessary
in that situation for sure, not grandiosity.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I never thought I was bigger than the moment. Like
I never thought like, oh, I'm so fantastic. I will
clearly master this and they will all be watching. I
just felt that I could meet the challenge, like I
had the confidence to meet the challenge and know that however,
I was going to make it through it. I was
(28:58):
going to make it through it, like I didn't know
I'd be successful.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Truly, if we're going to call what it is, I
think I had a little bit of grandiosity. You did, Okay,
yeah I did because I came and I when for actors,
you hear the statistic that it's like, you know, point
zero zero two percent of people ever even can make
a living out of acting, right, And I came and
I thought like, I'm gonna take over a stout watch
out because Camilla's arrived. And I was walking around, truly
(29:28):
with so much confidence that it was going to happen that,
you know, when I was waiting tables and they're like, oh,
how long have you worked too, I'm like, don't worry
about it. I'm going to be an actress. It wasn't
about fame, and it wasn't about like winning awards. It
was just like, this was my calling. I was going
to do it and I'm great at it. But my parents,
(29:48):
my parents made me feel that way. So I want
I want my kids to have that same feeling.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Yeah, that the possibilities are are are endless for them.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
And if you if you put hard work in, no
matter where you're starting from, I believe that you can
you can achieve. I don't know what level, but I
do believe you can achieve. And you and I say
this about ourselves a lot as adults, even which I
hope hopefully we've earned. Right is I I don't find
(30:24):
myself in situations often where I don't believe that it
won't it won't end up being okay. Like I if
I get stuck in the mountain, I'm getting down. I
don't know how it may but it maybe you know.
I don't know, but I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
It's funny you see this because this is off subject too,
but I've I recently read about and well, let's do
an episode on this because I find it so interesting.
I think part of that for me, that feeling for
me is faith and like the universe figuring it out,
which some people will think it's very woo wo, but
that's how I feel. And I read about this lady
(31:07):
and she was called the competition Queen, I want to say,
and it was basically it's a woman that came up
with this formula of entering competitions and winning it and
it was through visualizing, really believing in what was going
to happen. And she won everything she'd entered, including a house,
and she wrote a book and it's the same as
sort of the secret that you know we all heard
(31:29):
about back in you know, the two thousands. But I
think that you can manifest stuff for yourself. Now we're
off subject. We need to do a whole manifesting episode.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Yeah, and what that even means, because there's a way
to do it.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, No, she has a specific way of doing it.
It's very interesting. Okay, so we threw it out to
the crew.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
We did. Oh, I just want to say this one
other piece, which is when I think about the times
that I have made mistakes with my kids, Like I've
actually named a couple of them on the show at
different episodes. But when I've just gotten it wrong right,
I've yelled at the wrong kid, or I've been in
my own personal crisis and taken it out on someone,
or my patience just wasn't where I wanted it to be.
(32:11):
I have said it before and I'll say it again.
I'm a huge fan of the redo. It's not even
the reset, it's a redo, it's the you know what,
I really got that wrong? I yelled at you, or
I blamed you, or I wasn't even listening to you,
and I got it wrong, and I think that people
(32:34):
often do get it wrong because that's life, and then
they think that's it right as parents, like I completely
fucked up my kid, the moment of be yelling is
going to live in perpetuity in their mind and it's
going to shame them and they're going to have issues
around whatever that issue was for the rest of their life.
And I think that that's crap. I think that's total bullshit.
(32:55):
I think you can go back, and it's hard because
it's not fun to have a reckoning with your own wrongness,
But I think you really can go back and be like,
I messed it up, And if I could do it
over again, I would ask this, I would have said
this and have that moment, because I do think that
that's the key to you know, fostering and developing young
(33:21):
people who can communicate efficiently and talk.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
And I had this moment actually about three days ago.
We'd evacuated. We were out, and my kids have been stuck.
You know, we only had one day of school here
in Los Angeles and there everything's shut down. So my
kids have been together NonStop, right and at this point
they want to kill each other. There's no doubt right.
They're arguing over everything. We were in the car driving
(33:47):
and I was exhausted and all the things, and they
were arguing. They'd found this little squidgy toy that had
like dog hair on it at the bottom of their
seat in the car, and they decided that that was
the most important thing they'd ever seen in their lives
and it definitely belonged to them, right, And so this
argument ensued, and they've been arguing over every single toy
(34:10):
that's mine, now, that's your. You gave it to me,
you promised me that. And I just lost it, Like
I flawn yelled and I was yell. I couldn't stop.
There was not the decibel was at like explosive right
hours I and it lasted. The yelling lasted a good
(34:31):
three full minutes, like I couldn't stop, and they were stunned.
And I was like, then that's what you get kind
of thing, you know. Not that I was, but that
was the vibe. And I came. I came back to
where we were staying and I said to Matt, like,
I feel so guilty because they're in it's like a
(34:54):
pressure cooker here and it's just of course these arguments are.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We're all tired, we're all we've on top of each other.
And so I bought the kids back in and into
the room and I said, you know, I'm really sorry,
I'm really stressed out, and I'm really sorry to that
I had. I had to redo. And it looks at me.
She's so cude. She's like, mom, I get it. Yeah,
(35:19):
little seven year old. Just like again, they do.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
And hopefully given that you are her you know, truest
north and her role model, and I know how much
she loves you. You you gave her permission in a
future moment that she doesn't even know yet to know
that saying that you were wrong is yeah, the right
thing to do. Yeah, I just revisit it, and I
(35:42):
think that it's really people don't say they're wrong. People
have a really hard time with saying that they're wrong,
that they got it wrong, or that they need help.
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I actually it is hard. I in my twenties I
really had a hard time saying I was wrong. For sure.
I have learned that it's such a release, honestly, to
admit fault. I think that it like really takes the
pressure off to be able to say, like own the
stories feels good. It really feels good to be like,
(36:16):
I'm sorry that. I don't know why I said that,
as opposed to like standing your ground in it when
you're when you've reached the point of like you're starting
a question. You know, back in the day, when I
was like arguing with the boyfriend, it didn't whatever that
was that I had said. I was like, now you've
got to stick, you know, you've gotta.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Oh, it's the hell you'll die on. You're not abandoning
your That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You're not abandoning No, no, no, even when they've shown
you the actual proof that you're wrong, You're like.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
That, no, no, no. And I love debate. I'll go,
I'll go, I'll go all day every day.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Let's go another hill, another one.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Okay, right, so now back to where our crew. Let
us know what really annoys them about your parents.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
We asked the tweens, the teens, and the adolescents of
the Call It crew, and here is what they had
to say.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Clara said, my parents annoy me so much when they'd
either tell me that I'm out too much or when
I stay home that I stay in too much. So
what exactly am I supposed to do here? Oh, Clara,
I need more specifics? Yeah, where are you going? And
then what are you doing when you're home? Because if
you're like looking off and like playing video games and like,
(37:30):
you know, acting with a general sloth when you're home,
then they're there. They might be right to get you.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
I love a sloth, though I know you do.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
You're much more slothy than me.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
I'm way more slothy. Okay, I never heard the.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Term couch rot before.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Yeah, bedrot, couch rot. Yeah, it's in baby. Thank god,
I'm finally on trend.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Oh my god. Okay, tell me what Kyla said.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Kyla said, my mother will ask me what I'm doing,
and I will say I'm sitting down relaxing, and she
will reply, well, I was too funny. Poor woman must
have sore legs and feet. I gotta say this was
my dad. My dad is someone that if I was
sitting on the couch, I would feel very guilty. He
would vacuum right by my feet around the toes, you know,
(38:17):
just to make sure I knew that he was up
and doing something that I could have also been doing.
That's why I love. That's why when I have my
own place now, I love it. I can see the
couch now. I was going to vacuum my toes.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
I know my family is very much that way too.
It was like that. I remember there was at one
point it was like, if you're if you're if you're leaning,
you should be cleaning. If you're if you've got time
to lean, you've got time to clean. I just want
to lean. I want to lean. Wow, Laura says. Whenever
(38:53):
my parents get upset about small things in restaurants, like
not enough ketchup or something similar, they call the waiter
and complain and argue. I know they're right because they
paid for the dish, but I feel ashamed when they
argue in front of everyone because I would have let
it go. And in those moments, I want the earth
to swallow me up.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I'm with you, Laura, and Laura, I'm with you, and
I have this parent. My dad is a oh yeah,
he's a ketchup complainer, oh big time. In fact, he'll
look and it's this is a real story. He came
to the restaurant that I was waiting tables at, and
I waited on him, and he complained to my manager
(39:30):
about me. That's a true story. Well that's real and
lud oh yeah, and it is embarrassing. It's definitely embarrassing
and they need to chill out, do you know what
I mean. We're not even at a fancy restaurant, you
know what I mean, Like, we're you know, Chili's. And
he's like, well, yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Also, I really do believe that people who complain at
restaurants never worked in restaurants. It's why I feel that
all my kids need to be in food service at
some point, because it teaches you how to treat people
who are there to be of service. And by the way,
this isn't to say that I haven't had shitty waiters
and waitresses.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
I have and I have.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
You know, I mean whatever, I think that there's ways
you can get back.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
It's not about like, it's not about you know, your
food's cold and you got to send it back. It's
just there's My dad does it in a way where
he feels as soon as he sits down in that seat,
he give you it chuck e cheese, and he feels
entitled right like the world is serving him.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Oh mart, oh god, okay, the mart Okay, Destiny said,
being overbearing. I'm twenty two and I haven't lived with
my mom since I was nineteen. We're trying to have
a relationship again because I just want a mom and
she just is so narcissistic and overbearing. I don't know
how to have a normal relationship with her when she
can't see her own faults. It's hot. This is like
(40:54):
the sorry part really right.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Like, well, I mean, I don't know if we're ready
to go into this, but I'm really desperate to have
a guest whose name is mel Robbins talk about her
let them theory.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
What's the let them theory?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Well, I really want to have her on to describe,
but I will just say in this instance, I would
say that, I mean, everybody wants to have a mom,
But if your mom is narcissistic and overbearing and can't
get out of her own way, you kind of just
got a letter and then it's up to you what
(41:29):
kind of relationship you want to have with that. Like,
if she's gonna always, if she's being her right, that's
truly who she is, then you're likely not going to
change her.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
So to let them is almost like the letting go
of trying to change them in a way it's hard.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Yeah, two step process, which is there is because you
could just become a doormat if you really just let
everyone do everything right. It's a let them, like, let
them be who they're gonna be, right, the friend that's
always late, the friend that doesn't show up for you,
the parent that behaves in such a way to let them,
let them be who they are. But then it's let
me figure out whether or not I want to participate
(42:09):
in it, or what boundary I want to be put
up and be like I don't want to like when
you make everything about you or when you're telling me
everything that's wrong with me and what I should do.
I have a choice. I don't have to be with you,
and the chances of me changing you are pretty small
given human behavior. So I just think that I've been
(42:30):
thinking about it a lot, and it really does seem
to kind of like permeate every circumstance between being like
annoyed in the checkout line by the person who's you know,
putting their groceries on the belt at a glacial pace. Yeah,
you just like interrupt the cycle and you're like let
them I'm just gonna take a breath. I'm gonna pick
(42:53):
up my phone and maybe do something I wasn't going
to do before. But like, okay, like I'm not going
to control this when am I gonnah and puff behind
them like I'm gonna like what are you gonna do?
There's certain things you just gotta let go. Okay, we
need it on, yes I do.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Please please mell Robin's now, Robin's your next.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Okay. So Petro wrote in and said, my parents change
the Netflix password when they're mad at my siblings and I.
It's immature and silly, and I'm with them.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
That's quite funny. That's quite good.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Actually, I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
I'm sure that's funny. That is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
It is.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
It is immature and silly, and I'm gonna support it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Oh I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Okay. Lauren said, whenever we go on holiday as a family,
my parents suddenly lose all sense of direction and common sense.
How we ever got anywhere when we were younger is
a mystery. That's really funny and so annoying.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
I think that.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Then they they need you to become the team leader.
They're just they need you to get out your phone.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Like like I do when we go play. You're just
google maps it. I'm speaker. That's very funny, Lauren, I'm sorry,
but yeah, that is funny, okay.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Inter Ellie says when they act like they didn't do
anything wrong when they were younger, or when they act
like they didn't do much worse things than we're doing.
I know my parents misbehaved as teens. They were not perfect.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
They weren't perfect.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
No one was no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Some stupid shit, And I hope all I can do,
honestly is really just pray that my kids don't do
as much stupid shit as I do did.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, I'm not at that point yet where I have
teens where I have to figure out, like I put
myself in some pretty bad jam, I know, like to
what extent do you share how how stupid you were?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Do you mention it all? Do you say it all? Or
do you sort of? Is there a censorship inappropriate?
Speaker 1 (45:09):
It started to come out because again I am a
seventeen year old and I have a fourteen year old. Yeah,
I found myself in a super like moment because I
have to tell me, I gotta walk my talk. And
I'm like, yeaven with my kids and I'm honest with.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Them, and.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
There's a moment where they're like, so, how old were
you and you had sex?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
And You're like, god, you're like one.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Thirty damn And I am sex positive right, and I go,
but I'm not the thing. All this shit really like
comes that flies in your face because you're like, oh
my gosh, the things I say don't actually match the
things that I would do, or my idea being sex positive,
or my idea that everyone should have a healthy relationship
with sex and the connection and everything all the bloody
(46:03):
blah blah blah. But then you're like, my baby, You're like,
because these young people are just babies.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Oh god, yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I don't I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
I got to figure out. I thought everything moves up
a little bit, right, you got to add two years,
two or three years to everything. When there's the first
time you drank. I've never drink never, Okay, Carmel said,
this might sound dumb, but it makes me upset when
my parents open my door to talk. Then don't close
(46:38):
the door when they leave. I find it so rude.
That's a big teenager move. The teenager move. Yes, you've
got to reclose the door.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
The threshold moment when it's almost like true whenever it happens,
it happens completely until it's over. But they go from
being totally down to have whatever door open whenever, yeah,
to being like, as you're walking out the door, can
you please close my door?
Speaker 2 (47:07):
And oh my god, wow, okay, of where's have you
ever such a rejection? Have you ever knocked on the
door to go in and they've not let you in?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
No?
Speaker 1 (47:18):
No, no, no, no, no, okay no. But I actually and Christopher
and I are different in this way. I always do knock.
I might, I might knock and then open like it
might need one motion. But I always give like a
little bit of a I'm coming. I'm not worried that
they're hiding anything. I just I believe in privacy.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Yeah, well, I mean there could be changing or something too.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
You can make it.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
In your room, right does CHRISTA would do like the Seinfeld,
like you know that guy's Seinfeld that like slid in
with the door, just open it a little bamboozle.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, just open it.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Sometimes there's a bamboozle. Yeah. I don't know. Man and I.
If Man and I had this conversation right now, I'm
telling you, he'd be like, I'm not knocking. Yeah, but
it's gonna change.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
It's gonna change, and your kids change it for you too,
because some of them won't.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
They just won't.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
That will not be okay with them.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Now we're gonna hear. We're gonna get that the suggestion box.
We'll get the feedback, get the feedback back.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Michaela wrote in and she said, I'm nineteen and a
sophomore in college. My parents still track my phone and
call me when I'm out late. I understand it's out
of love and they want to protect me, but they
use it against me. They also pay for my school,
So at what point is it not okay anymore for
them to stalk me?
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Mikaela, this is what I'm going to be doing. I will,
but we've talked about this. I'm a tracker, yeah, and
it's probably and call on you're out, I mean, nineteen
year in college. I don't know if I'm assuming that
you're in college and that's what you're talking about Yeah,
I'm not going to call them if they're out late,
probably just because I won't know. But am I going
(48:55):
to track? Yeah, I'm tracking.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
I have a conflicted relationship with this.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
I know we we we were not the same. You're
on a tracker?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Really well no, but I well, I think my conflicted
relationship is I am I mean, in my heart of heart,
it's what I want to do. Is I want to know.
I don't want to I don't want to check the tracking.
I just want to know that if we were in
a situation where on a expected communication wasn't happening right,
(49:28):
like hey where are you and I didn't hear back,
and then it was like really abnormal and they weren't
answering me, I would want to know that I could
track them. He also just I've heard so many stories
about the tracking being able to really make a difference
(49:49):
for someone who is in a little bit of trouble.
Of course, so as much as I mean, Mikayla, I listen,
I don't. I would hope to not use the tracking
against my child, but I would hope to use the
tracking for my child, like to to help, not to
like penalize or.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the the penalizing is annoying
unless you're lying. If you're like, hey, I'm at Ralph's
grabbing a sandwich and then you can see that you're
downtown at the club.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
That would happened to me as a kid. Hold on,
I'm just ordering my I'm sorry, ordered my frozen yogurt.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah, I'm not a double so like what kind of
yoga is that?
Speaker 1 (50:37):
It's no, you don't.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Worry about it. No, I I'm gonna be a bad tracker.
I already know, like you know the little like you
know the little I've the Apple trackers. I'm gonna be
putting those. I'm gonna dig out a little hole in her.
You're gonna tacks. I'm gonna air attack or.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
STI people who their kids, especially at like Disneyland or whatever.
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Oh air tags all over show? Are you kidding?
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yeah, yeah, Lise. When my parents compare how they were
as young adults compared to my generation, which is gen
Z like getting a house at a young age, or
not being sensitive work ethic, et cetera. Like, clearly we
are living in different times. Rent was a dollar fifty
back then and now it's a million.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
Dollars for a one bedroom.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
Gen Z is more emotionally aware and outspoken, not sensitive
in finding work is a lot more competitive, with everyone
requiring years of experience. It drives me nets. Please don't compare.
Times are different, that's true. You gotta grow, Yeah, you
gotta come on.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
I don't know, though, I'm you know, I'm of the millennials,
and we can relate to this. I think the millennial
parents are not the it's the boomers really that had
that like amazing situation where the rent was a dollar fifty.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
Yeah, and they all worked really hard.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
It was really hard. It works really hard, really hard.
And I walked miles to school.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah. And they had babies young.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah they did. Yeah, and that they had a house.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Things were just so much more. I mean, good news,
bad news. Things were so much more.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
I feel like maybe stable, I don't know what the
word is.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Yeah, but like the like there wasn't as much possibility
to be something outside of what had come before you.
It was like there was a prescription on some level,
like what was going to happen. You were going to
have you were gonna get married, you were gonna have kids,
and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
The expectations maybe were different, is what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because my generation would be
the one that then is in that Sandwich generation where yeah,
we didn't have I mean I was still pretty young
when I had kids, but a lot of people in
my generation didn't have kids until they were in their thirties.
And now they've got parents that are aging and maturing
(52:50):
at the same time that they're really raising young kids.
So yeah, sort of that's the generation that has a
hard time figuring out how to take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, you're the Sammy NAMMY's Okay, Courtney, say, ah.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
My dad still buys me dolls. I am twenty three
years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items. What are we
talking about here, like a what do we like? A
Cafish patch? What do we say?
Speaker 1 (53:23):
American girl?
Speaker 4 (53:24):
Doll?
Speaker 2 (53:25):
American girl.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
That's cute, though, I mean, but I can see very annoying.
I mean, if you're twenty three, yeah, that's pretty annoying. Yeah,
it is annoying, all right, Hannah, I'm with you, Courtney.
Hannah said, Hey, Jess and Camilla, I'm sixteen, almost seventeen,
and something my parents do that absolutely makes me insane
is when I have my AirPods in listening to music
(53:46):
and they insist on having a conversation. If I don't
have them in, it's silent, But for some reason they
choose to talk to me about things while I'm mid
Taylor Swift. It's so annoying. How do I tell them
to stop in a way that doesn't mean As a
future surgeon who looks up to your characters.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
I love the pod and Grace, I love you, well,
we love a future surgeon, Yes we do.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
Uh yeah, I would just I think I would like
point to the ear. I would like point to my
ear and be like, yeah, I can't hear you.
Speaker 2 (54:14):
Oh, because that's gonna go down. Well, like you're a
sixteen year old and your mom's like and you're like,
I just sorry, these are in Yeah, that's gonna be
definitely respected. Sorry, just just literally tap on them. Just
so annoying. This is this is tale as old as time.
Don't think I didn't have a CD, A Walkman, yep,
(54:36):
a CD, little disc Man Discman and the things on.
And I mean those things were obvious, you can even
they weren't hidden whatsoever. And the parents still wanted to
have a convo, and I was mid you know the
Britney Spears.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Yeah, hit, maybe one more time.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
I'm trying to think of the Maybe it's this, maybe
you announce like, hey guys, I'm gonna listen to my
album right now. I'm just meaning a little peace to myself.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
So there's a.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Little announcement that happens. Hey guys, I'm gonna take this
time to like listen to my music. Do you guys
have any questions for me? Right now? Ray? Great? Me
and Taylor are off to the races. Okay, Clarissa, I'm
the middle child. Shout out to middle children. Hello, and
(55:23):
a family of five. Me and my oldest sister are
only fourteen months apart, meaning we are practically treated like twins. However,
I am the total opposite of her. While she is
valedictorian and studying to be an engineer. I do decent
in school and do theater while studying journalism. What drives
me nuts is we are constantly told that we have
(55:46):
the support of everyone, but I have been called the
figure it out, do it yourself kid, meaning I don't
have the support of my family. Favoritism is the word
for it. My mom will spend hours of her day
cleaning my sister's room and doing her homework. But for me,
I get scolded that my room is a mess. What
should I do? I want an out, But at the
same time, they are my family. Well, the cleaning of
(56:08):
the room is Derella. Yes, seriously, the Cinderella story. I
don't like the cleaning of the room. That does feel
like favoritism. And I think that that's a conversation. If
you haven't had that, you bring up that's a suggestion box.
Speaker 1 (56:22):
It's like, yeah, it sounds like it sounds like a
team meeting.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
This does not. But also I don't understand why you're
to figure it out do it yourself. Well, I don't
understand why your family is in supporting you.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
I think you need some answers. I think you need
a team meeting, and I think you need to just
I love the eye statements. I feel like, yes is
what happens, And I don't want to feel this way,
but I do feel this way, and like, what can
we do to help me not feel this way?
Speaker 2 (56:50):
Yes, I would hope that if Hayden was feeling this
way that we could have a team meeting. They should
because sometimes I think that parents. You're in a family
of five, right, the chaos is probably happening. I feel
like sometimes parents just are not in their own resilient
zone and know what's going on and are tracking all
of the things, and they might not even be aware
(57:12):
of how this is making you feel. So a sit
down convo and hopefully they're open to it. Clarissa, Yeah,
you're real.
Speaker 1 (57:22):
If you lead with your feelings, I would imagine that
most people you know would lean into the conversation. And
I don't think that any parent is intending to have
that be the story that you tell about your family.
No want that now.
Speaker 2 (57:37):
Oh my gosh. I love hearing all these me too.
It feels good to be back you guys. I'm gonna
I'm gonna be honest when I was don't lie. I'm
not lying. I'm gonna call it what it is. Today,
I wanted to just be in bed, That's all I
wanted to do. It's been a week and I just
wanted to call into bed and fall asleep because I
love my bed and avoid the world. And this has
(58:00):
forced me to not do that, and I'm very grateful.
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Yeah, it's very nice to be back with you. You know,
I had to do one on my own, and it
wasn't as much fun.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I loved Brookshields.
Speaker 1 (58:10):
She was fun and she was fantastic. She brought a
ton to it, but I missed my girl.
Speaker 3 (58:16):
Well.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
I listened to that podcast, and I was hoping you'd
be terrible by yourself and it would be very obvious
that you like desperately need me. And it was annoyingly good.
It actually did irritate me a little bit.
Speaker 1 (58:29):
Well, take the compliment, but I will hope that we
do not find ourselves faced with that situation again.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
No no, no, no, no no no, I don't want
to do it about myself.
Speaker 1 (58:42):
We're peanut butter and jelly. To say, I named all
the things, What would you say that we were? I said,
peanut butter and jelly.
Speaker 2 (58:49):
Who are you? Which one are you though? The peanut butter,
the jelly. I don't think you about this Jelly.
Speaker 1 (58:56):
I don't know. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
We've gotta figure out which one we are? Call it crew.
Who's peanut? Who's the peanut butter?
Speaker 1 (59:02):
I think I'm a smooth, kind of like salty sweet
peanut butter.
Speaker 2 (59:05):
I was thinking you're the peanut butter.
Speaker 1 (59:07):
Probably.
Speaker 2 (59:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Is not funny how it becomes obvious what you are.
Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because you're a little you've got
a little bit more together than I have. Oh, call
it crew.
Speaker 1 (59:22):
We love you, we missed you, We missed you, We
love you. That's manifest a great, great, fantastic twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (59:32):
And please please please hit up our call it what
it is Instagram page and look at the resources that
we've posted. And to send California some some love right.
Speaker 1 (59:42):
Now, so much love, a heart full of love and
a big, big, big hook. Wrap your arms around, California,
and this too shall pass.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
All right, let's call it the end of the episode.
Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Keep and eat.
Hosts And Creators
Jessica Capshaw
Camilla Luddington
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