November 6, 2023 • 14 mins
It’s the Pregame! And it kicks off with Erin sharing her latest “Mack Moment” which every mom can relate to. Charissa joins in as they answer your questions including when it’s appropriate to start decorating for the holidays, and the worst type of people you can run into at the nail salon. Don’t miss out on Erin trying to prevent Charissa from making a major mistake!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're gonna motherfuck everybody, and that's not our fault, it's
your fault. Calm down with Erin and Carissa is a
production of iHeartRadio. Hi doll, Oh my god, I look
like death. Well you don't, don't you don't. I look purple.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I was just saying, because we're just jumping right into it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I am today because this is.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
My shirt that came out of the dryer, and you
know I'm a big vintage tea gel Oh keem go.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hi, welcome everybody to the pre game.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hi, welcome. Ten minutes of fun. What day is it? It's
not important. And then for the big show we will
get into more of all the activities for the week.
But I said, before we came on, she said, you
were saying, why am I talking for you? You were holding
Mac and oh. Our boss called, and I was trying
(00:56):
to be a good mother because I just got home.
I've been gone for four days in Philadelphia and I
just got home and I was like, okay, I'm home
for an hour and a half before we have to
do the podcast and be really present. Well, the boss called,
I don't want to like be like throw the kid
to the nanny. So I'm trying to, you know, do
what mothers do and just do two things at once.
And while he's talking to me about business, Mac pisses
(01:17):
himself and then he puked.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh my shirt, So whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, So I just put out this little whereby EA
pullover on that'll mask all puke and piss and stay
fashionable and comfortable, all while rooting on your team at
the same time. Go to NFL shop dot com or
fanatics dot com swipe up what up girl? Okay here,
I'm going to pull up our pregame questions because I
haven't even done that yet, so I'm excited. Okay, you
(01:45):
start go grump Pass sixty nine. I don't know if
there's a hidden meeting in that, because I'm terrible about this.
Would either one of you like to do an overseas game, Yes,
you got to do one with my crew?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I did.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I did a game in Life London years ago because
Aaron was working baseball and football and so I filled
in for her and it was so much fun. They
still say it's one of their best games ever. And
I was like, fine, we'll just ask her to do
this season. Then you don't need me. Fine, I heard
two things. She had great outfits and a lot of luggage.
(02:19):
Well that was because there was a time in my
life I had a lot of baggage. Those were emotions
in that second bags were stolen. Who exactly? I'm still
waiting for that coach to be a return. I hate Mercury.
The game was fantastic, but I would love to do
a game in Germany. You guys, you have to how
come you haven't had one since then? That was like
a decade ago that I filled in for you. I'm
(02:41):
not sure what the wait for it logistics are, but
for some reason, the NFL network is doing all of them.
I don't know why we don't get them. I will
tell you what was pretty great though, and we could
talk about this on the Big Show. Was that woke
up on the East coast. We got an extra hour
of sleep. I'll get in to our dinner festivities on
(03:02):
the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Wow, Aurora on third. I'm sorry Aroma on third, but
I hold up.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, I woke up on Sunday morning and the game
started at nine point thirty. We had an extra hour
of sleep. All of us were in our jammi's in
the meeting room watching it.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Together. It was so fun. Oh that's really cute.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay, save the good stuff for the big show, because
that'll just make you guys tune in on Thursday. Here
we go pregame ten Minutes of Fun where we answer
your guys' questions again. You can submit anonymously if you
do not want to list your actual handle name. Captain
Bigwood has a question for us, Yeah, he does. Can
rival fans date Eagles fans and Coboys fans? Yeah, of course.
(03:44):
It's like if your house is like divided, if one's
a liberal on's you know, a Republican. I feel like
that might be a little bit more difficult controversial in
terms of politics. But yeah, I mean they always call
it a house divided. I remember, I mean growing up
in Seattle, it was like half the house of my
house was washed and huskies and half of them were cougars,
so not actual cougars. Me like, yeah, yeah, you know
(04:06):
what I mean, Washington State. So yeah, great, thank you can. No,
I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Also.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Side note, music at Eagles games fire just fire, Like
the atmosphere great, like just the lights go off after
a touchdown and you're like, oh my god, what's going on.
It's just great you got Dom. The security guard shout
out to Dom with the eagles. It's just the fucking man, like.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
What's dobup to Dom? Spirit right?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Getting us hit our restaurant reservations? His wife on the sideline,
it comes say hi to me in her ct cute
little teddy bear dress with her little Swede like boots,
and I just eagles are great, but I mean so
were cowboys. But it was just I hadn't been there
in a why it was fine. It was a good time,
really cute.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Okay. Yeah, So the answer to that question is sure,
you can't.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Sure? Next Oh, I'll let you handle this one, Okay,
Chris Vaspin, when do you start decorating?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
My beauty has already done it? When did that go
up yesterday?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I'm going to tell you why I already I First
of all, for the last few years, it's been well documented,
I have been the Grinch who stole Christmas, and I've
been very unhappy in my life. So now that I'm happy,
it's joy to the world in my falla la la lackhup.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
So I'm going to be gone and busy the next
few weekends, and then I leave for Thanksgiving, and so
I'm like, why am I gonna be smart?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So on Saturday, I said Steve, we've got half the day.
Let's go out that cherry out of storage and let's
just get going. We ordered eggnog, we got a little
tip tip tipsy and decorated together and we had the
best time. And it's fucking seven hundred degrees outside and
my bikini.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Literally, I was like, shut the doors and turn on
the ac. We're gonna pretend that it's freezing inside this house.
But it was.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And so now all my decorations are up. I don't
have a ton, but like, I just feel like I've
already like I'm gonna be really organized this year. I'm
gonna get my Christmas shopping done early. I'm gonna do
everything because I just I'm over rushing around and then
you know that feeling I'm Gonnactually, I want to save
this with the big show where you're rifling through shit
looking for gifts because you found that one gift for someone.
Now you're like, I know there's a bottle of wine
(06:06):
around here somewhere that's not ten dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
But I went on.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
My for my six hour flight today, which I feel
like I should be in Paris by the time I landed,
but I was at Lax. I looked at Oprah's Favorite
Things list to start getting some mykeyas going. I got
already one idea for mom and dad, but it's not
very glamorous and I can't say what it is because
my dad is an avid.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Listener, So there you go.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I also love when Steve Andrews text us suggestions of
shows to watch and you never reminded.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Oh she got on the side.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I was like, no, I didn't because you asked on
the podcast. It was so cute. So our health slights
are going up this week. Jared asked me when I
was on, said is it too soon? I said no,
it's the same way. It's like it's November, What the
hell is it?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Six?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And before we know it? I mean, yeah, it's not
so early. You gotta do it. No, the half half happiest.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
No one's going anywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Christiano one oh fives it ends, Thank God, cut them
or leave them be. I'm so glad you asked this
question because my hair is soaking wet right now. I
finally drug my ass the gym because I haven't been
going and I've been just like not feeling the best,
and so I was like, all right, get your ass
to the gym. You're paying for a membership every month.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
So I just did a circuit. I did twenty minutes
on the on the whatever staremaster thing. I did twenty
minutes intervals running back and for like I do the
speed up, speed down, and then just some weights, and
I was it's disgusting how out of shape I am
right now. Anyways, I took a shower and I remember thinking,
I was like, I have to tell you about this
on the podcast. I'm at that point in the season
(07:41):
which I get bored the way I look, and I
was about to I was like, if I had scissors
up here, I'm Chris, look at all this breakage that's
happening with the story of my life. And I was like,
you know, why don't I just cut bangs. I was like,
they're so cute on some people, you're gonna hate it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I already have them.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I know I'm getting them too. It's from my breakage
as well. Oh my bang is great, she missed. So
I was like, you know what, Thank god, I don't
have scissors up here because I would have had to
explain to you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I know, but look at this.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Make rose for your present. Don't cut your hair. Stop
being crazy. Don't do that because I already know what's
gonna happen to me. It's gonna be in your eyes
for Thursday night football and you're gonna be pissed off
and then you're gonna have to wear wait for it,
a bret to hold it back, and you're gonna be
annoyed and you're gonna motherfuck everybody. And that's not our fault.
(08:32):
It's your fault that you cut them with kid scissors.
All I can think of is Kelly Stafford when she
cut bangs last year and we both said to her,
what were you doing?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And then now this is where I'm at. Don't do
it for the way I look. I'm okay. Then change
your nail color. Were a bigger hoop. Don't fucking cut
your hair. Are you insane? Put that down? Put it down.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
She knows me so well. All I wear is hoops
and change the nail color back. All right, Well, don't
left my own devices. Steve is out of town, and
so it's like, right now, I'm like, what else could
I do?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Don't you dare? Stop it all right?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Cow friends col met, I don't know, friends call me
dray oh jes, why.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
What about dry?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Any advice for handling questions from family about finding a
husband or having kids? Tell I'm to fuck off, but no,
it's just a la la la la la la. Who
no one's going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Bend over and I'll show you.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
This is so touchy. I'm so lucky because my parents
didn't bug me about it. They just were like whatever.
My parents said that when I called them and told
him I got married, they go whatever. And then they
said the same thing when I called them and said
I was getting a divorced, they said whatever. Whatever's there's just
literally like whatever with this fucking chick?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Will my cup bangs? Whatever? So you think your brad
pitt whatever?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Whenever?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Shouldn't I w that lyric?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Ye? Anyways, I my parents are not that my I
feel very lucky too.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They're just happy like that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I'm alive still at this point, so I never had
any of that nagging stuff. But you know, you see
all the movies or like any of that stuff where
it's like the parents are all up in your business,
especially like moms like, when are you getting married when
you have a kids? So sorry, friends, call me Dre.
I got nothing for you there. All I would say
is this is just be like, I'm on my own path,
and the more you press me on it, the longer
it's going to be, and the more frustrated I'm going
(10:28):
to get.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
So please just let me do my own thing right,
the more anxiety you're giving me.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
My dad one time tried to give me advice on dating,
and I said, Dad, I take all your advice. And
I think I've said this before. I said, but I'm
not going to take your advice on dating. You met
mom when you were eleven years old. You guys got
married when you were eighteen. You have never dated, so
I'm not going to take advice from you in a
category that you have never experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So call me Dre. I would say, tell your.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Parents to relax. I feel you what else we got here?
Lisa man A Lisa in the culture. Wait, I have
a little story. I can't give up the name or
likeness is that it anyways, But we have somebody on
our crew that's a little older that's dating and he's
dating a girl kind of the same age in the forties,
(11:19):
so that's me. And he was saying that this experience
is a little interesting because she's very forthcoming and very
blunt with questions. She wants answers to things like tell
me about and he's like, this is like a lot
of all at once. And I said, you know what,
I don't blame her. She's probably like, I've been doing
this shit for a while. I want to knock out
(11:40):
the crap. I want to go through my checklist and
see if you're worth the time all the things. I
don't have a lot of time to waste. I was like,
this is what happens when you don't date twenty year olds.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, I don't know. I was into it.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I think that's totally fine. We ain't got no time
to waste it that much. I agree, But.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
He's used to dating younger girls. That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Well, I would equate it to this when you go
to the doctor office and you're filling out the questionnaire.
Do you have family history of this? Do you have
any you know, have you had any surgeries? Have you
had any this? We're just getting all the information out there.
Why are we making the doctor guess what you have
or you haven't had in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Right now, I don't blame it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So we can give the best diagnosis, okay, and create
a clean bill of health and you can have a
happy relationship because I'm going to tell you from experience
what I don't want to have happened. I don't want
you saying that these wedding rings were free and clear
of debt, because they're not. And then I'm going to
find out later that you took out a loan. So
let's just put all the information on the table and
then I get all the sirens on a table or out,
(12:34):
and we got a full house and a royal flush.
So yeah, take that double down and circle around fuck that, yep.
I need full transparency. Lift up that hood to the car.
Is this a lemon or is it not? I know
we make lemons out of time, but I want to
answer this question because I feel strong about it.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Lisa van der Veer, nail Salon's awkward or relaxing.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I gotta tell you the asshole that busts out their
phone and talking on it at the nail salon, can
you just like read the room, put the thing away,
do the quick little whisper I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I'm getting my nails done. Can I call you back?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Like like stop, I don't want to hear. And also
this goes right along with the girl that's facetiming but
doesn't have headphones on, so I hear the other person's conversation.
I'm not interested. I'm in a nail salon. I want
to close my eyes for five seconds while they're ripping
the shit out of my cuticles and asking me if
I want my calluses done and I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I don't know anyone that does, because you know what,
I just don't. I don't want anyone shaving anything in there.
All that thought, I have so many things to discuss
because you know my affinity for a nail salon.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Join us on the Big Show for.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
All things Palaces, dating in your forties and lifting up
the hood to find out what's under there. And also
I'm going to tease something for the big Show. I
got a little something something I'm gonna be on next
week and I'm excited for everyone to watch.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
End of view. So check out the Big Show so
I can tell you where I'm going to be.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Now you need to tease this hair, all right, Bye.
Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
You're gonna motherfuck everybody, and that's not our fault, it's
your fault. Calm down with Erin and Carissa is a
production of iHeartRadio. Hi doll, Oh my god, I look
like death. Well you don't, don't you don't. I look purple.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I was just saying, because we're just jumping right into it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I am today because this is.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
My shirt that came out of the dryer, and you
know I'm a big vintage tea gel Oh keem go.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hi, welcome everybody to the pre game.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Hi, welcome. Ten minutes of fun. What day is it? It's
not important. And then for the big show we will
get into more of all the activities for the week.
But I said, before we came on, she said, you
were saying, why am I talking for you? You were holding
Mac and oh. Our boss called, and I was trying
(00:56):
to be a good mother because I just got home.
I've been gone for four days in Philadelphia and I
just got home and I was like, okay, I'm home
for an hour and a half before we have to
do the podcast and be really present. Well, the boss called,
I don't want to like be like throw the kid
to the nanny. So I'm trying to, you know, do
what mothers do and just do two things at once.
And while he's talking to me about business, Mac pisses
(01:17):
himself and then he puked.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh my shirt, So whatever.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Yeah, So I just put out this little whereby EA
pullover on that'll mask all puke and piss and stay
fashionable and comfortable, all while rooting on your team at
the same time. Go to NFL shop dot com or
fanatics dot com swipe up what up girl? Okay here,
I'm going to pull up our pregame questions because I
haven't even done that yet, so I'm excited. Okay, you
(01:45):
start go grump Pass sixty nine. I don't know if
there's a hidden meeting in that, because I'm terrible about this.
Would either one of you like to do an overseas game, Yes,
you got to do one with my crew?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I did.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I did a game in Life London years ago because
Aaron was working baseball and football and so I filled
in for her and it was so much fun. They
still say it's one of their best games ever. And
I was like, fine, we'll just ask her to do
this season. Then you don't need me. Fine, I heard
two things. She had great outfits and a lot of luggage.
(02:19):
Well that was because there was a time in my
life I had a lot of baggage. Those were emotions
in that second bags were stolen. Who exactly? I'm still
waiting for that coach to be a return. I hate Mercury.
The game was fantastic, but I would love to do
a game in Germany. You guys, you have to how
come you haven't had one since then? That was like
a decade ago that I filled in for you. I'm
(02:41):
not sure what the wait for it logistics are, but
for some reason, the NFL network is doing all of them.
I don't know why we don't get them. I will
tell you what was pretty great though, and we could
talk about this on the Big Show. Was that woke
up on the East coast. We got an extra hour
of sleep. I'll get in to our dinner festivities on
(03:02):
the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Wow, Aurora on third. I'm sorry Aroma on third, but
I hold up.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, I woke up on Sunday morning and the game
started at nine point thirty. We had an extra hour
of sleep. All of us were in our jammi's in
the meeting room watching it.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Together. It was so fun. Oh that's really cute.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay, save the good stuff for the big show, because
that'll just make you guys tune in on Thursday. Here
we go pregame ten Minutes of Fun where we answer
your guys' questions again. You can submit anonymously if you
do not want to list your actual handle name. Captain
Bigwood has a question for us, Yeah, he does. Can
rival fans date Eagles fans and Coboys fans? Yeah, of course.
(03:44):
It's like if your house is like divided, if one's
a liberal on's you know, a Republican. I feel like
that might be a little bit more difficult controversial in
terms of politics. But yeah, I mean they always call
it a house divided. I remember, I mean growing up
in Seattle, it was like half the house of my
house was washed and huskies and half of them were cougars,
so not actual cougars. Me like, yeah, yeah, you know
(04:06):
what I mean, Washington State. So yeah, great, thank you can. No,
I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Also.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Side note, music at Eagles games fire just fire, Like
the atmosphere great, like just the lights go off after
a touchdown and you're like, oh my god, what's going on.
It's just great you got Dom. The security guard shout
out to Dom with the eagles. It's just the fucking man, like.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
What's dobup to Dom? Spirit right?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Getting us hit our restaurant reservations? His wife on the sideline,
it comes say hi to me in her ct cute
little teddy bear dress with her little Swede like boots,
and I just eagles are great, but I mean so
were cowboys. But it was just I hadn't been there
in a why it was fine. It was a good time,
really cute.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Okay. Yeah, So the answer to that question is sure,
you can't.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Sure? Next Oh, I'll let you handle this one, Okay,
Chris Vaspin, when do you start decorating?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
My beauty has already done it? When did that go
up yesterday?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I'm going to tell you why I already I First
of all, for the last few years, it's been well documented,
I have been the Grinch who stole Christmas, and I've
been very unhappy in my life. So now that I'm happy,
it's joy to the world in my falla la la lackhup.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
So I'm going to be gone and busy the next
few weekends, and then I leave for Thanksgiving, and so
I'm like, why am I gonna be smart?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
So on Saturday, I said Steve, we've got half the day.
Let's go out that cherry out of storage and let's
just get going. We ordered eggnog, we got a little
tip tip tipsy and decorated together and we had the
best time. And it's fucking seven hundred degrees outside and
my bikini.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Literally, I was like, shut the doors and turn on
the ac. We're gonna pretend that it's freezing inside this house.
But it was.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And so now all my decorations are up. I don't
have a ton, but like, I just feel like I've
already like I'm gonna be really organized this year. I'm
gonna get my Christmas shopping done early. I'm gonna do
everything because I just I'm over rushing around and then
you know that feeling I'm Gonnactually, I want to save
this with the big show where you're rifling through shit
looking for gifts because you found that one gift for someone.
Now you're like, I know there's a bottle of wine
(06:06):
around here somewhere that's not ten dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
But I went on.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
My for my six hour flight today, which I feel
like I should be in Paris by the time I landed,
but I was at Lax. I looked at Oprah's Favorite
Things list to start getting some mykeyas going. I got
already one idea for mom and dad, but it's not
very glamorous and I can't say what it is because
my dad is an avid.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Listener, So there you go.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I also love when Steve Andrews text us suggestions of
shows to watch and you never reminded.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Oh she got on the side.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I was like, no, I didn't because you asked on
the podcast. It was so cute. So our health slights
are going up this week. Jared asked me when I
was on, said is it too soon? I said no,
it's the same way. It's like it's November, What the
hell is it?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Six?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And before we know it? I mean, yeah, it's not
so early. You gotta do it. No, the half half happiest.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
No one's going anywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Christiano one oh fives it ends, Thank God, cut them
or leave them be. I'm so glad you asked this
question because my hair is soaking wet right now. I
finally drug my ass the gym because I haven't been
going and I've been just like not feeling the best,
and so I was like, all right, get your ass
to the gym. You're paying for a membership every month.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
So I just did a circuit. I did twenty minutes
on the on the whatever staremaster thing. I did twenty
minutes intervals running back and for like I do the
speed up, speed down, and then just some weights, and
I was it's disgusting how out of shape I am
right now. Anyways, I took a shower and I remember thinking,
I was like, I have to tell you about this
on the podcast. I'm at that point in the season
(07:41):
which I get bored the way I look, and I
was about to I was like, if I had scissors
up here, I'm Chris, look at all this breakage that's
happening with the story of my life. And I was like,
you know, why don't I just cut bangs. I was like,
they're so cute on some people, you're gonna hate it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I already have them.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I know I'm getting them too. It's from my breakage
as well. Oh my bang is great, she missed. So
I was like, you know what, Thank god, I don't
have scissors up here because I would have had to
explain to you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I know, but look at this.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Make rose for your present. Don't cut your hair. Stop
being crazy. Don't do that because I already know what's
gonna happen to me. It's gonna be in your eyes
for Thursday night football and you're gonna be pissed off
and then you're gonna have to wear wait for it,
a bret to hold it back, and you're gonna be
annoyed and you're gonna motherfuck everybody. And that's not our fault.
(08:32):
It's your fault that you cut them with kid scissors.
All I can think of is Kelly Stafford when she
cut bangs last year and we both said to her,
what were you doing?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
And then now this is where I'm at. Don't do
it for the way I look. I'm okay. Then change
your nail color. Were a bigger hoop. Don't fucking cut
your hair. Are you insane? Put that down? Put it down.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
She knows me so well. All I wear is hoops
and change the nail color back. All right, Well, don't
left my own devices. Steve is out of town, and
so it's like, right now, I'm like, what else could
I do?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Don't you dare? Stop it all right?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Cow friends col met, I don't know, friends call me
dray oh jes, why.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
What about dry?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Any advice for handling questions from family about finding a
husband or having kids? Tell I'm to fuck off, but no,
it's just a la la la la la la. Who
no one's going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Bend over and I'll show you.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
This is so touchy. I'm so lucky because my parents
didn't bug me about it. They just were like whatever.
My parents said that when I called them and told
him I got married, they go whatever. And then they
said the same thing when I called them and said
I was getting a divorced, they said whatever. Whatever's there's just
literally like whatever with this fucking chick?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Will my cup bangs? Whatever? So you think your brad
pitt whatever?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Whenever?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Shouldn't I w that lyric?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Ye? Anyways, I my parents are not that my I
feel very lucky too.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They're just happy like that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I'm alive still at this point, so I never had
any of that nagging stuff. But you know, you see
all the movies or like any of that stuff where
it's like the parents are all up in your business,
especially like moms like, when are you getting married when
you have a kids? So sorry, friends, call me Dre.
I got nothing for you there. All I would say
is this is just be like, I'm on my own path,
and the more you press me on it, the longer
it's going to be, and the more frustrated I'm going
(10:28):
to get.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
So please just let me do my own thing right,
the more anxiety you're giving me.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
My dad one time tried to give me advice on dating,
and I said, Dad, I take all your advice. And
I think I've said this before. I said, but I'm
not going to take your advice on dating. You met
mom when you were eleven years old. You guys got
married when you were eighteen. You have never dated, so
I'm not going to take advice from you in a
category that you have never experienced.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
So call me Dre. I would say, tell your.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Parents to relax. I feel you what else we got here?
Lisa man A Lisa in the culture. Wait, I have
a little story. I can't give up the name or
likeness is that it anyways, But we have somebody on
our crew that's a little older that's dating and he's
dating a girl kind of the same age in the forties,
(11:19):
so that's me. And he was saying that this experience
is a little interesting because she's very forthcoming and very
blunt with questions. She wants answers to things like tell
me about and he's like, this is like a lot
of all at once. And I said, you know what,
I don't blame her. She's probably like, I've been doing
this shit for a while. I want to knock out
(11:40):
the crap. I want to go through my checklist and
see if you're worth the time all the things. I
don't have a lot of time to waste. I was like,
this is what happens when you don't date twenty year olds.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You know, I don't know. I was into it.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I think that's totally fine. We ain't got no time
to waste it that much. I agree, But.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
He's used to dating younger girls. That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Well, I would equate it to this when you go
to the doctor office and you're filling out the questionnaire.
Do you have family history of this? Do you have
any you know, have you had any surgeries? Have you
had any this? We're just getting all the information out there.
Why are we making the doctor guess what you have
or you haven't had in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Right now, I don't blame it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So we can give the best diagnosis, okay, and create
a clean bill of health and you can have a
happy relationship because I'm going to tell you from experience
what I don't want to have happened. I don't want
you saying that these wedding rings were free and clear
of debt, because they're not. And then I'm going to
find out later that you took out a loan. So
let's just put all the information on the table and
then I get all the sirens on a table or out,
(12:34):
and we got a full house and a royal flush.
So yeah, take that double down and circle around fuck that, yep.
I need full transparency. Lift up that hood to the car.
Is this a lemon or is it not? I know
we make lemons out of time, but I want to
answer this question because I feel strong about it.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Lisa van der Veer, nail Salon's awkward or relaxing.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I gotta tell you the asshole that busts out their
phone and talking on it at the nail salon, can
you just like read the room, put the thing away,
do the quick little whisper I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I'm getting my nails done. Can I call you back?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Like like stop, I don't want to hear. And also
this goes right along with the girl that's facetiming but
doesn't have headphones on, so I hear the other person's conversation.
I'm not interested. I'm in a nail salon. I want
to close my eyes for five seconds while they're ripping
the shit out of my cuticles and asking me if
I want my calluses done and I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I don't know anyone that does, because you know what,
I just don't. I don't want anyone shaving anything in there.
All that thought, I have so many things to discuss
because you know my affinity for a nail salon.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Join us on the Big Show for.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
All things Palaces, dating in your forties and lifting up
the hood to find out what's under there. And also
I'm going to tease something for the big Show. I
got a little something something I'm gonna be on next
week and I'm excited for everyone to watch.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
End of view. So check out the Big Show so
I can tell you where I'm going to be.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Now you need to tease this hair, all right, Bye.
Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
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Hosts And Creators
Erin Andrews
Charissa Thompson
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