Episode 289: Pregame - Your Mom Must Be Proud

Unsubscribing to emails, puppies and perfecting “the pose” for Instagram are a few of the things covered on this Pregame edition of Calm Down with Erin and Charissa. They tackle the challenges of maintaining intimacy with you partner and how they deal with the few trolls they encounter at games.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I just look at them and say, your mother has
to be proud. Oh wow, calm down with Erin and
Chrissa is a production of iHeartRadio. They're rattling my cookies,
is what they're doing. You know what I mean? God,
Welcome to the pre game, everybody. I've pitched for forty

(00:20):
five minutes. No, no, no, no. I have full hair and
makeup from a shoot I did because I went and
met Steve for lunch and I haven't taken any of
the eyelashes off. So here we are. Pregame questions. Caraen
Kendrick one considering a non traditional Christmas dinner? Any suggestions
Chinese from a Christmas story that's adorable? Yeah, Kara, you

(00:43):
do you? I yeah, I don't know. I mean, do
you do traditional Christmas dinner? We don't do anything traditional
during the holidays because I can't wait for my honey
big tam. Wait, can I have one honey baked haam. Well,
Well here's my rationale. I don't really get to have
a Thanksgiving dinner because of we're working, So this is

(01:07):
where I like to have a turkey. I like to
have a honey bag camp. Honey bag camp, can you
send me one, can we figure that out? And yeah,
that's I love it. I love to do the mashed potatoes.
I'm gonna sneeze really quick on areas. At night of Thanksgiving,
we didn't have to. We did have a good celebration,
but I was way too late, excuse me, a little

(01:29):
under the weather. So any who, what was I going
to say? Yeah, so I like to have a traditional one?
What do you do? I don't. I mean, growing up,
we always went to my grandparents' house, like we did,
like the circuit, like my grand my dad's mom and
dad in the morning, our house obviously my parents, and

(01:51):
like then my Grandma's in the afternoon for dinner. But
like as an adult, I've never had like a like
traditional dinner because yeah, unless I go home to my
parent Like, yeah, I don't know. I guess I need
to start a tradition. I'm going to be in Chicago
this year. I'm going I'm going to be in Chicago
for our last game, our games on the twenty six,

(02:14):
So Steve and I are going to fly on Christmas
Eve and just make like a Chicago Christmas. So yeah,
I don't know, is there like a rules to the dinner?
Like what you're supposed to have or not have? No,
but you guys are going to be out Chicago fabulous.
Tell oh yeah, but I just need for fantastic dinner.
Like for Kara, what's a non traditional like when she's
just thinking, like, go to a restaurant. I love that.

(02:36):
Go to a restaurant, have Chinese? Have Italian? Having? Thing
you want? Do it? Girl. I have a very good
friend who used to invite us over for Thanksgiving when
we did a game in his town, Troy, and he
used to be like, hey, y'all want to come over
for Thanksgiving? And we did and he's like, we're having Italian.
Oh great, as long as you're together. It's a door

(02:57):
totally mixed. Oh god, hello, here she comes anonymous. Yes,
we love you. Help ladies. Not attracted to my partner?
Intimacy is hard? Leave? Oh is this Jarrett? No, I'm kidding, joking.
I wouldn't be attracted to myself right now. These past

(03:17):
four months, I've been a bear. Okay, stop, that's enough.
That's hard. I would try to vo to counseling. Mm hmmm.
I would say, why did you all out of unattracted
with him? What happened Yeah, there's a lot of factors here.
So I will say obviously, like my parents have been

(03:39):
your parents have been married forever. My parents have been
married forever. I don't need to know the details of
my parents' private life, that's fine, but I do know
this that my father would always make a point to
like put my mom as a priority, and I like
I did. I didn't seem like make it out, but
I always saw them like, okay, as are like hug
or whatever, and like show that intimacy. Look, if you
don't have that, then you're just best friends. And I'm

(03:59):
full encouraging of being best friends with your partner, like
that's Steve's my best friend, Jared's your best friend. Like
that's great to have that, But if you don't have
the other side, then you just are like roommates. And
I have a real problem with that. So if you're
not getting the attention or the intimacy that you want,
like saying intimacy is hard, like try to like spice

(04:22):
it up for you, like make the effort and see
if he meets you halfway. And if he doesn't meet
you halfway, then we got a bigger issue. And then
she's saying she's not even attracted to him. I know
she may not even want to spice it up. I know,
spce meter. Maybe maybe you got to remember like how
you first like became attracted to him, like if is
it go on a date maybe maybe uh, you know,

(04:44):
have a glass of wine and see if it's like
let me just see if I can get back in
the mood or whatever. I don't know. That's really hard,
so I know you're asking us for suggestions. I would
say that just you try to make an extra effort
and see if he meets you halfway and if he doesn't,
like then you just have to talk about to be like, hey, look,
we haven't had seen you going through six months or whatever,
like what's happening? Like what can I do? Because if

(05:07):
we get here's the thing. Ladies and gentlemen do not
get too comfortable with not doing that, because then the
longer and longer you go, no, you gotta like want
to throw it in. And I get it if you've
been together a while, like after a while you're like, okay,
I got to do something, but no, you got to
make sure that you know what's going on foe outside
the sheets before you jump in the sheets. Chelsea Blackney

(05:29):
adopting my first Golden Retriever puppies this weekend. Any advice,
Oh my god. First of all, I'm so jealous, Chelsea. Yeah,
I would just saying the other day I want another puppy.
I haven't had a puppy since Willis. All the dogs
I've ever had, like after Willis have like come full grown.
Oh I haven't had a puppy. And I like, that's
like having a baby. Yeah, it is. It's like having

(05:49):
a baby that bites and things like baseboards and chairs
and shoes. It is a full time job. And one
piece of advice my mom game actually about when we
had our when we got Howie, was do not allow
Howie permission of the entire house at once. Good keep
him in a small area because he's got to learn

(06:13):
he is pooping and peeing and all the things. Also,
the other thing I highly recommend, and we did a
really really really good job house breaking Howie. We took
him out all the time, all the time. We always
took him out, like we were walk and walk and
walk and walk and walk. Like peeing and pooping inside
is not an option. Also, create training. I crate trained Willis,

(06:33):
and I like was very consistent, like all you want
to do is especially like at nights, like snuggle your
puppy and like Heven falls sleep on you and all that. Yeah,
his sense to go back in that create and then
they learn like that's their little like safe spot. Yeahs,
So what do you think about they want to be alone?
I didn't realize this too, Like my doc Walker eased
to tell me, like the average dog sleeps twelve hours
a day sometimes fortunately, like they want to be left

(06:54):
alone sometimes. So yeah, setting boundaries, crate training and oh
my god, please send us a picture, sure, because oh
my god, a little baby puppy retreat are the keydice.
The other thing I would say about create training is
it's so important, especially if you have to go out
of town and you can't take your puppy. That's like
their home that you're bringing to wherever you're taking them,

(07:15):
for somebody to look after them. That's what dog trainers. Sure,
and look at us. We can't answer questions about intimacy,
but dog training we are. We are on top of it.
Go for it, girl, all right. Julia Kennedy. A couple
of weeks ago, you talked about how much you study
now versus back in college as a current sports reporter,
What exactly are you studying? Well, I'm having a bit

(07:38):
of anxiety today because I haven't read my articles yet
on the Buffalo Bills, who we have this weekend in
Los Angeles. I'm studying that. I am reading probably four
different types of periodicals. I don't know. I hit the Athletic,
I hit the USA today, I hit ESPN. I read

(07:59):
all the Buffalo articles that we get sent to US.
I go to the team's website. I watch every single shit.
I got to text Derek Boyko with the Buffalo Bills crap,
writing it down. This is what I'm talking about. I
can't get ahead of shit today doing because I need
to interview an offensive and defensive player this week away

(08:20):
from talking to Josh Allen, Joe Brady, and Sean McDermott.
I read articles specific to them. I watch all their
press conferences in front of their lockers. That's what I do.
And I haven't done anything today, and I feel like
I'm gonna be so unprepared for my game that's in
five days. Okay, Well, you've got lots of time, You're okay,

(08:41):
I get it. Though, if you do feel like you're
overwhelmed the press conferences, where do you get those from?
I don't ever watch any of They are so helpful
and so amazing. I watch them on the team site. Oh,
they a lot of teams. Dallas. We just have the
Dallas Cowboys this, you know, Thanksgiving. They are so helpful
because they usually have like six to seven guys and

(09:02):
they're just this scrum in front of their locker with
the local media and things like. You know. I talked
to CD Lamb over the weekend or before that game,
but then I also saw on the scrum that he
was like, this is the most banged up I've been
in my career. I have an AC joint, I have this,
this and this, and then towards the end of the
game he wasn't really used and I was like, I

(09:24):
can add ce. D Lamb talked to reporters and me
this week and said, this is the most banged Like
you never know and that's how you're gonna get Yeah,
because there's always so much information, It's like, if one
little thing happens in the game, I want to have
the answer to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good to
have the answer to the test. Yeah, I just I've
never thought about listening to the press. I record a

(09:44):
lot of the show. I mean there is like we're
inundated with shows, which is great because you love the NFL.
I go back, like part of my homework in addition
to the sports Scan articles that were set just by
being on the list and all like from Amazon is
like we have NBC access to like their researchers that information,
so they send us out everything for Amazon, and then

(10:05):
we have at Fox also our own stuff that's set.
But I go back and watch a lot. I record
them all week and then just watch them like a
couple of days. We'll go by and then go back
and take notes and do things like that off of
shows and just different seeing what different people are saying
different stuff like that, because yeah, to your point, you
never know where you're going to get the information. Also too,

(10:26):
if you're like the over consumption of shows, but like
all of the lower thirds sometimes on those shows have
a lot of good information and stats. It's not even
just what the people are set like other people are saying,
it's the graphics. Does that make sense? I will say
this to Julia Kennedy when you are doing your studying.

(10:46):
Sometimes it is a problem because you feel like you
are overloaded and you're like, holy shit. Sometimes enjoyed like
having two games close to each other because you couldn't
do all the crazy over prepping. Like I felt like,
holy shit, how am I going to do this Dallas game?
Because we just got done doing a Green Bay you know,
with the hell they pay San Francisco game. I'm not ready.

(11:08):
But it was almost like I had to just concentrate
on this stuff that I had to get done and
not worry about all the extra stuff. Blah blah blah.
Gay's last question, because this is just my curiosity. I
don't feel it was a million years ago that I
did your job. When did it become a thing where
you have to like set up additional conversations with players.

(11:29):
I just feel like I've always done that, But I
would like, oh, no, it was I did that before.
I did it before, because it's like, here's the thing,
like if if something happens on the field, Kevin and
well not Tom because he's not on our calls, but
Kevin can always add, or Joe and Troy could always add,
or Gregan, Kevin could always add. I want to be
able to give some information that they didn't have before. No.

(11:52):
I also another thing is like being a thing. Yeah,
I just do it just because I like to drive
myself crazy, you know. No, I don't know this is
all I mean, it's all great stuff. I'm just was
curious if that was like a post COVID because you
couldn't see them at the facility or whatever. Because that's
the other thing too, like being a reporter for a
specific team. I'm not sure what Julia is, but like

(12:14):
that's so different. When I was a Rockies reporter, I
was traveling with the team, like you're just it's always
with the same team and access the information as opposed
to like for us every week. It's a different situation. Yeah,
okay next Melanie D ten twelve. Do the fans ever

(12:36):
distract you from doing your job funny stories? Yeah, people
say yell at me and say not yell at me.
They're like Aaron, not so much anymore since I cut
my hair. But yeah, like they used to like say
like my name that I was you. They don't distract
me from doing my job. I think like I love

(12:57):
like I love the nonsense. Sometimes you get to like
occasional like jackass that wants to say something that thinks
like I actually am offended by it, and then I
just pretend like I don't hear it. But no, I
just look at them and say, your mother has to
be proud when they add, like the video, Oh, I've
seen your video. Yeah, your mom has to be so
proud of you. Yeah, because back in the day when

(13:17):
I worked for ESPN, a fan at the College World
Series was talking about how they saw my stocker video yeah,
and I turned around. I went right after them and
people were videoing it. But I was like, good for you.
But now you just do the Your mom must be
so proud. That's what I hear. That's very mature of you.
Mine's just avoidance. I'm just like like, I don't even
hear them. Yes, I love the fans. The fans are great. Yeah.

(13:41):
I get so embarrassed when, you know, sometimes if it's
quiet on my side of the field, like if they're
not playing well or you know, like yeah, and then
they're like, ed, we love you, You're the best, and
like they're down by thirty and I'm like, great. I

(14:04):
feel bad for players, though I know it's part of
the gig, but I always feel really sad when they're
just like you suck, you suck, like you know, they
start booing guys, And I get it, it's part of
the gig. But I'm always like, you get out there
and do it. I think about that one player, Like
when I feel sad for guys, they have a family. Look,
I mean even with the Daniel Jones situation, Like I

(14:25):
felt bad for him and I know that it's like, Okay,
you didn't you got all this money and you didn't
live up to your you know, expectations, and you disappointed
all that kind of stuff. And this was Rian Fitzpatrick
shed a lot of light on this because he most
of his career was a backup quarterback and having to
go to each new place and being a backup, it's
like you're not the starter, and so dealing with like

(14:46):
letting your team down or not being the guy, or
having to deal with disappointments sometimes he's like that sucks,
Like that sucks going into a locker room and been like, oh,
you're demoted or like and then you still got to
show up and be a good teammate and be a
good guy. And like, I don't know, I just think
about like, wonder if we got demoted in our job,
right and still have to go out onto the field.

(15:07):
But they're like, Aaron, you can't, you can't be a
you can't do your job today, but you got to
still show up and sit over here in the corner.
Or it's like if I had to show up to
the studio, uh huh. If I had to show up
to studio and do different things and I couldn't actually
do my job because everyone knew that I was in
time out. Oh no, I get it. You're compensated a
lot of money though, whatever. I know, but it's still hard.

(15:30):
There's still human beings. And here's the other thing, Like
I look at Sam Donald and he what did he
say in his postgame to Pam Oliver yesterday, Like I'm
so grateful for them. That was the right system and
the right situation for him. And you look at like
what if that had never happened, Like thank god that
happened for Sam Donald, Like look at that so well,
look at you not yesterday winning in New York. Satness

(15:51):
is a team that got rid of him. It's like
if there is some retribution where yeah, if you just
find the right situation and the right coach, like a
Kevin O'Connell, who's great, you know, in restore a quarterbacks
career like Sam Donalds, and look, I get it, and
like you said, sorry, to keep this going. They're paid
really well. It's part of the gig. I understand that.
But they are human beings and if it was easy

(16:13):
to do it, we all would. And I don't know,
I I know we're in the business of winners and losers.
I feel bad when a team loses. I do. I
feel so bad when the kick game, it's like fuck,
and it's like, oh, that's why, Like for the Michigan
Ohio State kid. I was so happy for that kid,
Like imagine if he hadn't made that field goal, and

(16:34):
it's like everyone into in ann Arbor would have been like,
if you just made that field goal, we wouldn't like
especially for I know. But but the good thing about
that is that when it teaches under pressure of that
sort of magnitude and you either a come through it
or you fall, but then still able to keep going
through it, like the Sam Donald's, like the Jamots, you

(16:54):
build up some real tough skin. Sorry, last thing, I
can't let this go. I also think it. It's different
for us because we're close to this situation. You know,
I remember, I have to go out on the field,
which I'm grateful to do unless I don't get to
and interview the winners, and I remember, you know, there's
so many times you walk out there and you walk

(17:16):
smack into one of the numberbacks that lost, and it sucks.
It sucks. It's their life, it's where their family is
going to live. They may lose their job and have
to move. It's just it's I hate the winning and
the losing. It makes me sad. AnyWho I'm just thinking
about when like walking on the field of the Super
Bowl and like watching those guys like cry at the

(17:37):
end of it, so like you wait your whole life
to get there, if you're even lucky enough to get
to one. Totally, Yeah, where are we? My god? We
are at? Jennifer t Barek. I work in in an
industry where it's important to brand yourself on social media.
I find it difficult to draw the line between how
much I share personally mixed in with what I do professionally.

(18:00):
How do you distinguish between what you do not share
personally yet still remain authentic? Great question, Jennifer. I go
back and forth with this a lot me too, people,
I always have this thing. Of course, I annoy myself
sometimes on social media. This is my dilemma, I always think.
So I end up going down a rabbit hole of

(18:22):
like people's accounts where it's like, oh, they're like packing
their bag and I'm like want to watch it, or
they're doing a makeup to toil or whatever, where I'm like,
not something I would ever do, Like I've never done
a makeup to toy, like oh, help me get ready
or get ready with me of the day, like try
on all these different outfits and then have I don't
know whatever, I just like, don't do that. But then

(18:42):
I'm like, well, I like watching other people do that,
so why wouldn't should I do that? Should I be
doing more of that? Does anyone care? Does any want one?
Want more? Behind the scenes? And so then that's my
issue is like I end up just doing like the
bare minimum because it's like, oh I need to tag
an outfit or I need to whatever, or it's our job.
I mean, I don't know. I go back and forth
with that a lot. When I wasn't happy in my

(19:04):
personal life, I definitely limited the amount that I'm sharing.
But I don't even share a lot about Steve anywa.
It's not like I'm posting a picture every day with Steve.
But yeah, what is it like, the more like Instagram love,
the less you're happy. I don't know. I think it's
I just go back. I vacillate with that idea where
it's like, oh, I should share more in my life
or maybe people are interested, and then the other side
of me is like, who gives a shit? No one

(19:26):
cares that I'm going to get coffee, No one cares
that I'm like wearing you know, these shoes with this shirt.
Like No, I don't know. The problem is I can't
make shit look cute, like I sit married on the sidelines.
Saint Jillian's like, smile, pose, and I all I think
about is it wrote? It ends and begins with Rosie right,
everything she does, from her hair to hunting. Whitely is

(19:50):
who we are talking about. Yeah, and we always goes
at Whitley. Is it Whiteley? I almost meant I forgot
to tell you the other day. She said, matter off,
it's Whitely, No Whitey, She's just anyhow, She's lovely, She
poses so effortlessly. Gillian's like on the field, she's like smile,
and I'm like, I just can't. That's not me. I'm
not that gal. I can't do it. I can't even

(20:13):
in shoots when they're like do a half smile. Nope,
it's either no smile or the joker. So I don't know.
I feel like my favorite posts on social media are
when I am absolutely like stupid, where it's like drinking
coffee and you dumped it all over yourself, like I
got to keep pumpkin Lette, Like fuck off, who cares?

(20:36):
I just miss the latte on myself. That's not us anyways.
First of all, we're not standing in front of me
hers like that's not our vibe. Don't even know how
to do the sultry face like the no, that's like
Taylor who I work with, who I love Taylor Rooks.
She's like really good at that. She like will stand
out in the middle of the field and like take
these like amazing shots. Meanwhile, I'm like she is, I

(20:57):
gotta look. Yeah, She's like great at it always like
I just can't do that. The only pictures I ever
have are at our desk, like actually, like, no, you
look so whatever. It's because there's a professional photographer. Let's
not get crazy here A shout out to Kit. I
just yeah, I don't know. I don't mind those, but like,
actually I don't know Taylor's thing. Taylor's very good. Okay, Yeah,

(21:22):
she's got the look off to the side. I see.
I can't take myself serious at all. I can't. I'm
looking off to the side, like what am I doing? What?
I know? It's that's not you and I thing. But
we have she with these great photographers on Thursday night,
Coop and Kit, and it's like they're always because sometimes
you have to get one for like an outfit, and

(21:44):
I'm good on that, but not the overpost stuff. She's
got the leg crussed over. She knows what she's doing.
I like candid ones. One came up in a memory
yesterday and I sent it to you. It was a
really cute picture of all of us that Lily took,
and Lily's great about this. At Fox, she'll always get
the like candid random ones, like one of me yesterday

(22:05):
having seventy five chins but just laughing at Terry Bradshaw
because I love them so much. Those are the ones
I'm like, candids, but what did you do for your
wedding photos? Because those were beautiful and you weren't like
trying too hard. No, well, we just took Christmas photos
out on the beach this morning. And the ones I
love are the ones that we're not even looking at

(22:27):
the camera, like Jared's throwing in the air and I'm like, whoah,
Like that's what I love. I hate the post ones.
I look like the grinch. You stole Christmas. It's terrible. Okay,
not g it off, No you don't, but I know
what you're saying. It feels like overposed. Also, I'm a
box now the Yeah, I just can't take myself here,
Like it's so bad. I'm like, you're so stupid. That's

(22:48):
how I feel about myself. So, Jennifer, again, to answer
your question, working in an industry where it's important to
brand yourself, I definitely understand that, like it is better
to cause these algorithms where it's like are you engaging
with few? You know what we're bad about. I'm bad
about responding to comments because first of all, I don't
want to see any negative comments, not letting coments you
for good comments because it's just like I don't want

(23:10):
to at the risk of saying bad ones that will
put me in a bad mood. But like you're supposed
to respond to that or whatever. I think, Jennifer, that
you show what you're comfortable with and just be authentic
in whatever you're posting. If it's something where you look
a post picture and you think you look great, then
post it. Or if it's like a personal one with

(23:31):
your family and you're comfortable doing that, like, yeah, you
can mix it in. I think it's all about what
you feel comfortable with. Love it, and with that, ladies
and gentlemen, we're going to the big show, unless you
can't because you've got a bad text. No, I'm just
looking at the rest of our question because I love
when people are like actually asking us for advice. I
want to make sure we answer it instead of our

(23:51):
own tangents. Do we answer your question? Did we answer
any of your questions? Yeah, Chelsea said, this picture of
your dog. Okay, right now? Bye? Calm down with Erin
and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
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(24:12):
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