July 21, 2025 • 19 mins
On this Pregame edition of the Calm Down podcast, Erin and Charissa talk about how to break up with a longtime friend, revisit childhood memories from last episode, discuss personal and professional do-overs and giving ultimatums in relationships. Also, what song was playing when Charissa danced with Mick Jagger and more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was a very very awkward.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I had to wear elastic jeans like I just my
gross spurt was weird and strange at third grade. Calm
Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Was a sad story that was.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Humh oh my god, but very sad. Oh god, I
can't remember. I'll take people I don't know for a
hundred Alex.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Kurt, you look it up.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let us know Ritchie and his brother Britchie Ballad.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
His brother was Bob no Way. His brother was named
it wise No.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Come on, welcome everybody to the Calm Down pregame where
there's a load of fun maybe not true facts. Shall
we jump right into it, my little peanut, we shall
This girl just got back from her pick a ball lesson.
We'll talk about that on the big show, because now
we're all invested.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Cutie.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think it tells you a lot about about who
you are when you're in these beginning courses.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So I'd like to discuss that. I also have to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Call Chris Meyers, who seems to be the pickleball a
fishing on, say itiato. The brother is named half brother
Bob Morales.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Wow, how where'd you pull that out of chat from no.
I know that I know that you got from the chat,
but I just mean that you even knew his name
was Bob.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
What about Bob?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Here we go al Roach twelve oh one, Carissa, Are
you still doing home renovations with your business?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's a great question. Now.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I am taking a little bit of a hiatus from
my renovations only because I went hard in the paint
the first two years. I did over forty renovations and
it was a lot. So I'm doing I'm picking the
projects that I want.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I did. I finished up my ranch stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I actually have a girlfriend who reached out to me
the other day about doing one and I'm going to
take that on, but just here and there.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm not opening it up to the general public. I
mean with all of the you know, people that just
want the services. But I will start it back up again.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
It just needs to be the right time, and definitely
not during football season. I've made the mistake of doing
that and realize that as I was I'll never forget this.
I was doing Thursday Night Football. It was when Fox
still had it, and I was doing a feature and
for a sit down interview.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I don't need to tell you did it for ten years.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
On Thursday Night Football on Fox and I was talking
to a client and I was like, no, no, And
then I had to go lead into my feature on
air and I was like, oh, excuse me for one second.
Credible did the lead in for the piece the feature.
I came back over and I was like, I'm so
sorry about that. They're like, we just saw you on TV.
We live in Chicago, We're watching the Bears game. And
I was like, so yeah, so I just let's talk
(02:50):
about that guest bedroom that you want to renovate. And
I'm like, I can't be doing this, so I will
pick it back up again, just not the same way
I did before.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I was real, ag, great, but thank you, Zach.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
By any chance, the Bears bucks game with four, when
Tom took the sack or whatever and he goes four
because he didn't know it was already four.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Maybe it was was, yeah, because it was definitely when
he was still playing, so that's crazy if it was.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Again, good pull on your memory, Dukes.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I have a question from Aaron oh Ea thirty three.
What was the biggest thing you learned about doing your
business with such a busy schedule.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Oh that was a thirty three. Thank you for that question.
I appreciate that. The biggest thing that I learned from
a great interviewer named Aaron in the follow up questions
is time management. I mean that was something that you
know that obviously was difficult. But yeah, no, I just
think I'm so passionate about home renovations. I think that
(03:51):
if you change someone's home, you can change their life.
And I don't I don't even think that's being grand.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Or my god, it's like your crazy card. It should be,
because I do.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I think that if you change the way that people live,
it can have a complete ripple effect in their life.
If they are proud of the space that they're in,
if they feel organized, if they feel like it's not
cluttered and something that they want to show off to
their friends like that has a totally like psychological impact
on you. So I'm a big believer in your home
is definitely a reflection of who you are. So yeah,
(04:23):
I think that there's the passion. Is what I learned
the most is that I really love doing it and
I'm going to pick it back up when I have
more time.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I love that, I love Okay, So Marty twenty two,
how do you break up with a longtime friend because
she's an emotional vampire? So I don't know. I feel
like you and I have been on this path for
(04:50):
a minute here where it's just like if it's just
too hard, it's not worth it, if it's here's the
thing you and I talk a lot about, like we
only have so much to give anyways in our lives.
We're trying to be well. I am trying to be
a better partner, a better mother. I know the storm
ahead that's coming for me with football. You know your schedule,
(05:10):
which is a lot more than mine.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's the same. I have only so much to give.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
And I think I'm not gonna say because you know,
we're older and we're wiser, but I just feel like
this would be less emotional for me to do a
breakup at this stage of my life.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You, yeah, I don't know. That doesn't answer the question
at all.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
No, I think we've talked about this because both of
us have admittingly said like we've sort of phased some
people out. And that's not saying like, oh, they didn't
make the cut. It just if it doesn't serve.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You then that's a no for me.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Then it's okay to sort of, you know, recalibrate the
friendships in your life. And in this particular case, if
this person is just sucking the energy out, I always
equate things to bank accounts right where it's like I
love that. If they're constantly taking withdrawals and there's not
a lot of deposits going on, I think you need
to at least give the friend if they're a good friend,
and opportunity to explain or you know, maybe they're going.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Through a lot so they need a lot from you.
That's fine.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
But if it's constantly like you're giving in this friendship
and you're not getting a lot back, well, then what's
the point. Like they need a therapist, not a friend.
They need someone that's going to listen to all their
problems and take all that and at this point, like
the scale's not balanced. So I would say, Marti twenty two,
how do you break up with them? I'd first have
a real honest conversation, allow the other person to explain
(06:34):
their position, and if they don't get it, or you're
just like, hey, this is like really hard to be
your friend. This is like taking a toll on me.
I want to be there for you, but you're draining,
and so how can we make this work? Because you
matter to me, And if the person gets defensive and
all that other shit, well then they're out anyways. So
just be honest, have an honest conversation, and then just
(06:55):
take a step back and see if they make the
effort to come towards you. And if they don't, then
they really own a good friend.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
So go easy on yourself about making this move because
you're obviously feeling this way for a reason and it's valid.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yep, gee yea ya, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know,
ggg ygi. What is your do over for anything personal
or professional? We know my personal But okay, with that said,
I was just about to name a thousand with mine.
We wouldn't be where we are if we hadn't gone
through the shit we've had to go through. Now, look,
(07:31):
there's stuff in my life, stalking national trial, like a
freaking federal trial.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Like there's shit, but it's also like it's kind of
made you who you are. I wish I hadn't gone
through that for my parents' sake. I don't know I
could have, should have, would a there's a million things.
I think the biggest thing for me and I don't
want to get as deep as like personal shit that's
happened to me, but like.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Enjoying the ride a little more.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You and I always say that I was proud of
us this past Super Bowl. You and I really were, like,
let's take a step back, like this is fucking awesome.
Where our company treats us, where our company supports us,
the way we get to the way our relationships with
our coworkers. I mean, you know, I talk about it
all the time. Those guys are brothers to us. Our
bosses are very close with us, are you know? So
(08:21):
I'm grateful of that. I wish I had enjoyed it
a little bit more instead of being like, oh my god,
I need this intro to my future to be perfect,
and like I have to have eighteen stories and I
have to nail this coaches interview.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I will, but just enjoy it.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's freaking fun, It's football and the relationships that we've
made because of our jobs. I would just you know,
obviously I joke a lot, and I find levity in
my mistakes that I've made throughout my life. I have
to or else I would be in a fetal position,
like crying. That's the way that I deal with at
the range of emotions that I have. I get sad,
(08:55):
I get angry, and then I laugh. So I would
definitely I would just say on the personal side, I
wouldn't do things because the partner I was with wanted
to do them. I definitely acquiesque to like, oh, well,
I'll let the person have this because that's what they want.
I'm a little bit more firm and I know what
I want as far as like the no marriage, no kids,
(09:18):
those kinds of things. And you know, people ask Steve
and I all the time. I feel like this is
a redundant conversation, but it still gets brought up where
it's like, oh, you, why aren't you guys gonna get married?
And I'm like, cause I already did that, and like
it doesn't It doesn't serve me anymore to have a
piece of paper or a title of marriage. But like,
I don't know, I think that I did that for
(09:38):
the last one because I thought that person wanted that.
So in my life now personally, I'm stand up more
for what I want and I'm a little bit more
selfish about it. But that's yeah, and I don't apologize
for it anymore. I'm like, sorry, this is like I'm
the author of my stary. This is the you know.
But and that's if Steve wanted that. If Steve wanted
kids or wanted to get married, then he should find
(10:00):
different partner. But yeah, I think that in short the changes. Yeah,
I definitely would make some adjustments. But I agree with
you that things happen for a reason. And just make
sure you always, guys, you get a prenup. You know.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Cheers to me, as Niley Cyrus says, it's all about
the climb. That's a great tune. By the way, super Emo.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Almost was my freestyle and Dancing with the Stars. Whoa, whoa?
What was your freestyle?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It was a heart song hard it was.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, long story there, whoa perfect We'll get after the break. Sure,
all right, Chloe, here's a long one. I'm twenty six.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven and
a half years. Okay, we talked about getting married and
(10:58):
having kids since we first art dating back in college.
Right now, he's saying he does not want to get engaged,
not in the right spot financially, we're still young, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'm about to uproot my life.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
And by Jarrett, I'm about to uproot my life and
move to be with him. I don't like ultimatums, but
I told him I want to be engaged by July
twenty twenty six, so that's in a year. This has
caused a huge, huge fight, and now I'm looking for advice.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
CHRISA, Yeah, yeah, gl you go because you is this
feels like similar to what you would the Jared saying no,
not the engage part, but like you were moving across country.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Remember I was.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Going New York to LA. It's expensive, and I'm also like,
what am I doing? What are we doing here? I
didn't put an ultimatum on being engaged, but we also
weren't dating.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
For seven and a half years.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's a long time, girl, friend. This is your stand
the financial part of it to you, who's to say, mah,
I's gonna say, who's to say you have to have
a big wedding or the wedding of your dreams? But
what if you want to? You also don't want to
go into this when the other person isn't feeling the
same way, right.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I do not believe in ultimatums. I do not believe it.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
There was a show actually on Netflix where it was
like an ultimatum where it's like, you, you know, either
you do this or I'm doing that. I'm like, I
have a very simple adage. If they want to, they will.
If he wants to propose.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
To you these sayings today, I can't wait to get
life advice from you later. Yeah, I can't s your
therapist appointment going over sit on my life made it
a perchase.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
That's not a wishless.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
The idea that it's like an ultimatum, that's never good.
I think it's I think it's important to say, like, hey,
what are we doing here?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like I'm about to uproot my life.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
We've been together for seven and a half years and
you're only twenty six years old, baby girl, like you
got that is a that is one third of your life,
one fourth of your life that you've been like with
this person.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So it's okay.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I think that's a reasonable ask to say, what's the
direction of our relationship?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
But I will say we.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Would say, hey, what's going on over here? Yeah, Hey,
what's exactly our favorite phrase.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I just think that you should not force him into
a corner and say, if you don't do this by
this date, I'm out of here. I say, you just
don't give a date or time and just say if
you're not feeling that way, then I need to step
away and I need to go a different direction, because
then you'll see how much he really like loves you.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm all about like.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Not threat, it's not a threat, it's just like, hey,
if you can't do that, And going back to what
I said previously, like be selfish, this is your life.
Why do you have to keep putting your life on
hold for somebody else? Like if he's not ready, then
he's not ready, and you are. You've already invested a
lot of time and energy into this person, and obviously
you love them. But I think it's okay to be
(13:56):
selfish and say if that's not where you are at, well,
then I need to go a different direction and I
need to start looking at a different path that my
life needs to go down, and see.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
How much you very much you love you then?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
But yeah, no, I'm bummed for you that you're in
that position, But I think that you I mean, number one,
you've got to be honest with him, but do not
give him an ultimatum that you have to move there, yeah,
or that I mean, but I just don't. I don't
ultimatums is not my I don't know. I don't think
like threatening someone is good, Like if you don't do
this then, because that's going to create resentment, and you
(14:30):
don't want to start your life together with someone like
being resentful. So let us know, let us please, Chloe,
We're here for you. H We've got best bet twenty two.
What song was playing when you dance with Mick Jagger? Oh?
My god, I blacked out. I don't even remember, honestly
I do. I have no recollection of what the song was.
(14:51):
I just was in the moment with him and was
so excited that it was the legend. I just can
we just talk about him for a second? Sure, this
man performing for five decades, for over fifty years, this
guy has been like, isn't he still like touring?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I mean, isn't arn't the Rolling Stones like still? I'm
not sure it were recently. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I just think like energy, I'm only what forty three,
only forty three, and I'm like sometimes I'm like I'm
tired and I'm like tired. This guy has been performing
on the world's biggest stages longer than I've been alive.
You're not tired when you're around mc Jagger. That guy's
got endless energy. So I don't remember the song, but
I will always remember the moment.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
That is incredible. This one looks fun.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I only saw the first part of it. Shelb relating
to the childhood trauma stories from last week. So last
week I told a story and it wasn't childhood trauma.
It's just weird. Why did I choose to do that.
We had just moved to San Antonio. We had driven,
you know, kind of halfway across the country from Maine
to San Antonio. My mom had said the moving truck
(15:59):
was laid, hadn't gotten there, and I was on my
last pair of undies.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
My sister and I were talking about this.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yesterday, I went on the bus, went to school and
my undies the elastic just kept it was shot and
they just fell fell fell down my legs as I
was walking the class, and I didn't want to pull
it up because I didn't want people to see my
bum because I was in a dress. So Shelby says,
in kindergarten, my parents got confused about the rules or
something and had me wear a uniform to public school
(16:28):
every day for three months. I was the only kid
at school who wore a uniform while all my class
mates wore regular clothes, and I got made fun of.
I never actually asked my parents about it. Is it
too late to ask why they did it?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
No Ah, Yeah, well, and I there's some confusion the
first week, but three months feels like a long time
to commit to the uniform. If you come home and
you're like, hey, mom and Dad, no one else is
wearing this outfit, I wonder, Yeah, Nasha Dunny.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We has them? I mean, did they? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Side story here, Shelby. I wish my schools had uniforms.
I wish I was in the school because then thinking
about all the pressure is off of you to have
to buy the cool and also off the parents. We
were always having to like, Mom, I need the new this,
or I need the new that, or Timmy is wearing
this outfit, I want.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
To wear that.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Like no, just the simplicity of a uniform, I'm all
about that. I feel like every every school should mandate uniforms.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I feel like in this day and age too, with
bullying and you know, different people have different incomes, I
feel like it would just be such a good idea,
even if it's a white T shirt and a black
pair of shorts or something totally I would have loved
to have done that, because, as we've discussed, I was
a very very awkward. I had to wear elastic jeans,
like I just my gross spurt was weird and strange
(17:47):
at third grade, and I would have loved to have
worn where everybody else were.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
There's also in the Steve Jobs book he talks about
why he wore a black turtleneck and black jeans, and
he was just saying because because because it was then,
you didn't have to think, he didn't have to use
his creativity on his outfit. It was like, this is
what I'm wearing every day, and so I can spend
the energy and time on other things. And so it
was just for simplicity reasons and also to like spare
(18:12):
yourself the like mental brain power that you need to
be like what am I wearing?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Like this and this and this.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So it's like when you throw on a uniform for
these kids and they don't have to think about it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I don't know. I'm all about starting a potential whole.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Thingforms blacktop, black blazer, black shoes.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
All right, y'all, thank you guys for running in. We
love when you guys do that. Make sure Chloe you
follow up on what's happening there. We're sorry you're going
through that. Join us on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
We will. We're getting closer and closer to the season,
but we will still express.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
We have a running list of things that we talk about.
I'm just looking at the things that are off of
our list. One of them is Aaron wants to know
how she can get on the rips Carlton.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Everybody's going on it for free influencers.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
We'll do a podcast. How do we get on this?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
This is insane? We'll talk about it on the Big Show.
I want to do it, Okay, join us then, bye, guys.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I was a very very awkward.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I had to wear elastic jeans like I just my
gross spurt was weird and strange at third grade. Calm
Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Was a sad story that was.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Humh oh my god, but very sad. Oh god, I
can't remember. I'll take people I don't know for a
hundred Alex.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Kurt, you look it up.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let us know Ritchie and his brother Britchie Ballad.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
His brother was Bob no Way. His brother was named
it wise No.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Come on, welcome everybody to the Calm Down pregame where
there's a load of fun maybe not true facts. Shall
we jump right into it, my little peanut, we shall
This girl just got back from her pick a ball lesson.
We'll talk about that on the big show, because now
we're all invested.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Cutie.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I think it tells you a lot about about who
you are when you're in these beginning courses.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So I'd like to discuss that. I also have to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Call Chris Meyers, who seems to be the pickleball a
fishing on, say itiato. The brother is named half brother
Bob Morales.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Wow, how where'd you pull that out of chat from no.
I know that I know that you got from the chat,
but I just mean that you even knew his name
was Bob.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
What about Bob?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Here we go al Roach twelve oh one, Carissa, Are
you still doing home renovations with your business?
Speaker 1 (01:35):
It's a great question. Now.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I am taking a little bit of a hiatus from
my renovations only because I went hard in the paint
the first two years. I did over forty renovations and
it was a lot. So I'm doing I'm picking the
projects that I want.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I did. I finished up my ranch stuff.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I actually have a girlfriend who reached out to me
the other day about doing one and I'm going to
take that on, but just here and there.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm not opening it up to the general public. I
mean with all of the you know, people that just
want the services. But I will start it back up again.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
It just needs to be the right time, and definitely
not during football season. I've made the mistake of doing
that and realize that as I was I'll never forget this.
I was doing Thursday Night Football. It was when Fox
still had it, and I was doing a feature and
for a sit down interview.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I don't need to tell you did it for ten years.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
On Thursday Night Football on Fox and I was talking
to a client and I was like, no, no, And
then I had to go lead into my feature on
air and I was like, oh, excuse me for one second.
Credible did the lead in for the piece the feature.
I came back over and I was like, I'm so
sorry about that. They're like, we just saw you on TV.
We live in Chicago, We're watching the Bears game. And
I was like, so yeah, so I just let's talk
(02:50):
about that guest bedroom that you want to renovate. And
I'm like, I can't be doing this, so I will
pick it back up again, just not the same way
I did before.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
I was real, ag, great, but thank you, Zach.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
By any chance, the Bears bucks game with four, when
Tom took the sack or whatever and he goes four
because he didn't know it was already four.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Maybe it was was, yeah, because it was definitely when
he was still playing, so that's crazy if it was.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Again, good pull on your memory, Dukes.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I have a question from Aaron oh Ea thirty three.
What was the biggest thing you learned about doing your
business with such a busy schedule.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Oh that was a thirty three. Thank you for that question.
I appreciate that. The biggest thing that I learned from
a great interviewer named Aaron in the follow up questions
is time management. I mean that was something that you
know that obviously was difficult. But yeah, no, I just
think I'm so passionate about home renovations. I think that
(03:51):
if you change someone's home, you can change their life.
And I don't I don't even think that's being grand.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Or my god, it's like your crazy card. It should be,
because I do.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I think that if you change the way that people live,
it can have a complete ripple effect in their life.
If they are proud of the space that they're in,
if they feel organized, if they feel like it's not
cluttered and something that they want to show off to
their friends like that has a totally like psychological impact
on you. So I'm a big believer in your home
is definitely a reflection of who you are. So yeah,
(04:23):
I think that there's the passion. Is what I learned
the most is that I really love doing it and
I'm going to pick it back up when I have
more time.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
I love that, I love Okay, So Marty twenty two,
how do you break up with a longtime friend because
she's an emotional vampire? So I don't know. I feel
like you and I have been on this path for
(04:50):
a minute here where it's just like if it's just
too hard, it's not worth it, if it's here's the
thing you and I talk a lot about, like we
only have so much to give anyways in our lives.
We're trying to be well. I am trying to be
a better partner, a better mother. I know the storm
ahead that's coming for me with football. You know your schedule,
(05:10):
which is a lot more than mine.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's the same. I have only so much to give.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
And I think I'm not gonna say because you know,
we're older and we're wiser, but I just feel like
this would be less emotional for me to do a
breakup at this stage of my life.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
You, yeah, I don't know. That doesn't answer the question
at all.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
No, I think we've talked about this because both of
us have admittingly said like we've sort of phased some
people out. And that's not saying like, oh, they didn't
make the cut. It just if it doesn't serve.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You then that's a no for me.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Then it's okay to sort of, you know, recalibrate the
friendships in your life. And in this particular case, if
this person is just sucking the energy out, I always
equate things to bank accounts right where it's like I
love that. If they're constantly taking withdrawals and there's not
a lot of deposits going on, I think you need
to at least give the friend if they're a good friend,
and opportunity to explain or you know, maybe they're going.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Through a lot so they need a lot from you.
That's fine.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
But if it's constantly like you're giving in this friendship
and you're not getting a lot back, well, then what's
the point. Like they need a therapist, not a friend.
They need someone that's going to listen to all their
problems and take all that and at this point, like
the scale's not balanced. So I would say, Marti twenty two,
how do you break up with them? I'd first have
a real honest conversation, allow the other person to explain
(06:34):
their position, and if they don't get it, or you're
just like, hey, this is like really hard to be
your friend. This is like taking a toll on me.
I want to be there for you, but you're draining,
and so how can we make this work? Because you
matter to me, And if the person gets defensive and
all that other shit, well then they're out anyways. So
just be honest, have an honest conversation, and then just
(06:55):
take a step back and see if they make the
effort to come towards you. And if they don't, then
they really own a good friend.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
So go easy on yourself about making this move because
you're obviously feeling this way for a reason and it's valid.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yep, gee yea ya, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know,
ggg ygi. What is your do over for anything personal
or professional? We know my personal But okay, with that said,
I was just about to name a thousand with mine.
We wouldn't be where we are if we hadn't gone
through the shit we've had to go through. Now, look,
(07:31):
there's stuff in my life, stalking national trial, like a
freaking federal trial.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Like there's shit, but it's also like it's kind of
made you who you are. I wish I hadn't gone
through that for my parents' sake. I don't know I
could have, should have, would a there's a million things.
I think the biggest thing for me and I don't
want to get as deep as like personal shit that's
happened to me, but like.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Enjoying the ride a little more.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You and I always say that I was proud of
us this past Super Bowl. You and I really were, like,
let's take a step back, like this is fucking awesome.
Where our company treats us, where our company supports us,
the way we get to the way our relationships with
our coworkers. I mean, you know, I talk about it
all the time. Those guys are brothers to us. Our
bosses are very close with us, are you know? So
(08:21):
I'm grateful of that. I wish I had enjoyed it
a little bit more instead of being like, oh my god,
I need this intro to my future to be perfect,
and like I have to have eighteen stories and I
have to nail this coaches interview.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I will, but just enjoy it.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's freaking fun, It's football and the relationships that we've
made because of our jobs. I would just you know,
obviously I joke a lot, and I find levity in
my mistakes that I've made throughout my life. I have
to or else I would be in a fetal position,
like crying. That's the way that I deal with at
the range of emotions that I have. I get sad,
(08:55):
I get angry, and then I laugh. So I would
definitely I would just say on the personal side, I
wouldn't do things because the partner I was with wanted
to do them. I definitely acquiesque to like, oh, well,
I'll let the person have this because that's what they want.
I'm a little bit more firm and I know what
I want as far as like the no marriage, no kids,
(09:18):
those kinds of things. And you know, people ask Steve
and I all the time. I feel like this is
a redundant conversation, but it still gets brought up where
it's like, oh, you, why aren't you guys gonna get married?
And I'm like, cause I already did that, and like
it doesn't It doesn't serve me anymore to have a
piece of paper or a title of marriage. But like,
I don't know, I think that I did that for
(09:38):
the last one because I thought that person wanted that.
So in my life now personally, I'm stand up more
for what I want and I'm a little bit more
selfish about it. But that's yeah, and I don't apologize
for it anymore. I'm like, sorry, this is like I'm
the author of my stary. This is the you know.
But and that's if Steve wanted that. If Steve wanted
kids or wanted to get married, then he should find
(10:00):
different partner. But yeah, I think that in short the changes. Yeah,
I definitely would make some adjustments. But I agree with
you that things happen for a reason. And just make
sure you always, guys, you get a prenup. You know.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Cheers to me, as Niley Cyrus says, it's all about
the climb. That's a great tune. By the way, super Emo.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Almost was my freestyle and Dancing with the Stars. Whoa, whoa?
What was your freestyle?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
It was a heart song hard it was.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, long story there, whoa perfect We'll get after the break. Sure,
all right, Chloe, here's a long one. I'm twenty six.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven and
a half years. Okay, we talked about getting married and
(10:58):
having kids since we first art dating back in college.
Right now, he's saying he does not want to get engaged,
not in the right spot financially, we're still young, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'm about to uproot my life.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
And by Jarrett, I'm about to uproot my life and
move to be with him. I don't like ultimatums, but
I told him I want to be engaged by July
twenty twenty six, so that's in a year. This has
caused a huge, huge fight, and now I'm looking for advice.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
CHRISA, Yeah, yeah, gl you go because you is this
feels like similar to what you would the Jared saying no,
not the engage part, but like you were moving across country.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Remember I was.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Going New York to LA. It's expensive, and I'm also like,
what am I doing? What are we doing here? I
didn't put an ultimatum on being engaged, but we also
weren't dating.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
For seven and a half years.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That's a long time, girl, friend. This is your stand
the financial part of it to you, who's to say, mah,
I's gonna say, who's to say you have to have
a big wedding or the wedding of your dreams? But
what if you want to? You also don't want to
go into this when the other person isn't feeling the
same way, right.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I do not believe in ultimatums. I do not believe it.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
There was a show actually on Netflix where it was
like an ultimatum where it's like, you, you know, either
you do this or I'm doing that. I'm like, I
have a very simple adage. If they want to, they will.
If he wants to propose.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
To you these sayings today, I can't wait to get
life advice from you later. Yeah, I can't s your
therapist appointment going over sit on my life made it
a perchase.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
That's not a wishless.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
The idea that it's like an ultimatum, that's never good.
I think it's I think it's important to say, like, hey,
what are we doing here?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like I'm about to uproot my life.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
We've been together for seven and a half years and
you're only twenty six years old, baby girl, like you
got that is a that is one third of your life,
one fourth of your life that you've been like with
this person.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So it's okay.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I think that's a reasonable ask to say, what's the
direction of our relationship?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
But I will say we.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Would say, hey, what's going on over here? Yeah, Hey,
what's exactly our favorite phrase.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I just think that you should not force him into
a corner and say, if you don't do this by
this date, I'm out of here. I say, you just
don't give a date or time and just say if
you're not feeling that way, then I need to step
away and I need to go a different direction, because
then you'll see how much he really like loves you.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm all about like.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Not threat, it's not a threat, it's just like, hey,
if you can't do that, And going back to what
I said previously, like be selfish, this is your life.
Why do you have to keep putting your life on
hold for somebody else? Like if he's not ready, then
he's not ready, and you are. You've already invested a
lot of time and energy into this person, and obviously
you love them. But I think it's okay to be
(13:56):
selfish and say if that's not where you are at, well,
then I need to go a different direction and I
need to start looking at a different path that my
life needs to go down, and see.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
How much you very much you love you then?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
But yeah, no, I'm bummed for you that you're in
that position, But I think that you I mean, number one,
you've got to be honest with him, but do not
give him an ultimatum that you have to move there, yeah,
or that I mean, but I just don't. I don't
ultimatums is not my I don't know. I don't think
like threatening someone is good, Like if you don't do
this then, because that's going to create resentment, and you
(14:30):
don't want to start your life together with someone like
being resentful. So let us know, let us please, Chloe,
We're here for you. H We've got best bet twenty two.
What song was playing when you dance with Mick Jagger? Oh?
My god, I blacked out. I don't even remember, honestly
I do. I have no recollection of what the song was.
(14:51):
I just was in the moment with him and was
so excited that it was the legend. I just can
we just talk about him for a second? Sure, this
man performing for five decades, for over fifty years, this
guy has been like, isn't he still like touring?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
I mean, isn't arn't the Rolling Stones like still? I'm
not sure it were recently. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I just think like energy, I'm only what forty three,
only forty three, and I'm like sometimes I'm like I'm
tired and I'm like tired. This guy has been performing
on the world's biggest stages longer than I've been alive.
You're not tired when you're around mc Jagger. That guy's
got endless energy. So I don't remember the song, but
I will always remember the moment.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
That is incredible. This one looks fun.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I only saw the first part of it. Shelb relating
to the childhood trauma stories from last week. So last
week I told a story and it wasn't childhood trauma.
It's just weird. Why did I choose to do that.
We had just moved to San Antonio. We had driven,
you know, kind of halfway across the country from Maine
to San Antonio. My mom had said the moving truck
(15:59):
was laid, hadn't gotten there, and I was on my
last pair of undies.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
My sister and I were talking about this.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yesterday, I went on the bus, went to school and
my undies the elastic just kept it was shot and
they just fell fell fell down my legs as I
was walking the class, and I didn't want to pull
it up because I didn't want people to see my
bum because I was in a dress. So Shelby says,
in kindergarten, my parents got confused about the rules or
something and had me wear a uniform to public school
(16:28):
every day for three months. I was the only kid
at school who wore a uniform while all my class
mates wore regular clothes, and I got made fun of.
I never actually asked my parents about it. Is it
too late to ask why they did it?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
No Ah, Yeah, well, and I there's some confusion the
first week, but three months feels like a long time
to commit to the uniform. If you come home and
you're like, hey, mom and Dad, no one else is
wearing this outfit, I wonder, Yeah, Nasha Dunny.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
We has them? I mean, did they? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Side story here, Shelby. I wish my schools had uniforms.
I wish I was in the school because then thinking
about all the pressure is off of you to have
to buy the cool and also off the parents. We
were always having to like, Mom, I need the new this,
or I need the new that, or Timmy is wearing
this outfit, I want.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
To wear that.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Like no, just the simplicity of a uniform, I'm all
about that. I feel like every every school should mandate uniforms.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I feel like in this day and age too, with
bullying and you know, different people have different incomes, I
feel like it would just be such a good idea,
even if it's a white T shirt and a black
pair of shorts or something totally I would have loved
to have done that, because, as we've discussed, I was
a very very awkward. I had to wear elastic jeans,
like I just my gross spurt was weird and strange
(17:47):
at third grade, and I would have loved to have
worn where everybody else were.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
There's also in the Steve Jobs book he talks about
why he wore a black turtleneck and black jeans, and
he was just saying because because because it was then,
you didn't have to think, he didn't have to use
his creativity on his outfit. It was like, this is
what I'm wearing every day, and so I can spend
the energy and time on other things. And so it
was just for simplicity reasons and also to like spare
(18:12):
yourself the like mental brain power that you need to
be like what am I wearing?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Like this and this and this.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So it's like when you throw on a uniform for
these kids and they don't have to think about it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I don't know. I'm all about starting a potential whole.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Thingforms blacktop, black blazer, black shoes.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
All right, y'all, thank you guys for running in. We
love when you guys do that. Make sure Chloe you
follow up on what's happening there. We're sorry you're going
through that. Join us on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
We will. We're getting closer and closer to the season,
but we will still express.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
We have a running list of things that we talk about.
I'm just looking at the things that are off of
our list. One of them is Aaron wants to know
how she can get on the rips Carlton.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Everybody's going on it for free influencers.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
We'll do a podcast. How do we get on this?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
This is insane? We'll talk about it on the Big Show.
I want to do it, Okay, join us then, bye, guys.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Erin Andrews
Charissa Thompson
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