July 9, 2025 • 25 mins
Hey y'all! This week, Jess is helping out a listener who found a GOODT man, but he's not really what she's attracted to. Do you need help trying to navigate a similar situation? Tap in!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can'tfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects. And just like that, we're back with
yet another carefully reckless episode with a girl just hilarious.
(00:20):
What are you doing? I'll be fixing mess and I'm
gonna jump right in. This is a long ass written story. Okay,
she should have sent me in a mother fucking voice. No,
but this girl can spell. I don't see too many
punctuation marks, but at least she can spell. So we're
just gonna get it popping like this.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
All right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey, Joss, I am so happy to hear that your
baby girl came out healthy, beautiful and loved.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh thank you boo.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just want to start out by saying that before
I start my question and story. I recently had my
baby about two years ago, and unfortunately her father and
I split up when she was a month old. I
moved to Georgia, started over and started living with my mother.
Things have been peaceful for me and my child. She
hasn't been around any toxicity at all. I took these
(01:07):
two years to be by myself, single and find myself
back right with God, going to church, and I see
what happens when you don't put periods or fucking commas
or semi colon's or exclamation points. I need something, And
I've had the pleasure in meeting an amazing guy. Now
he is completely what I am not used to. Lord Jesus,
(01:34):
I've had the pleasure in meeting an amazing guy. Now
he is completely what I am not used to physically
and mentally, mentally and emotionally, he is the best. He
covers me with flowers. What I'm getting so pissed the
fuck off? Yo, because people be sending me shit, y'oll
(01:57):
and it's like, Yo.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I'm gonna do something else.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I'm gonna have to take this ship on the road
and have bitches doing the ship live and give them
the mic. Now you tell me your story, or you
read what the fuck you wrote that ship?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You wrote it?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Now you read it? God damn, How the funk are
supposed to fix this girl?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
God damn. So I'm on this part right here, like
just that, like do you try to read it? You
try to read that things have been.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Peaceful for me and my child. She hasn't been around
any Texas city. Oh. I took these almost two years.
She had to put the almost these almost two years
to be myself single and find myself back right with God,
going to church, and I've had the pleasure of meeting
an amazing guy.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
This is a run on sentence. An amazing guy.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Now he is completely why I am not what I
am not used to physically, Okay, so now he is
completely what I am not used to physically and mentally
and emotionally.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
He mentally, but don't give over that second.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Mentally mL Shoot, when I'm not used to physically and
mentally mentally, I got but emotionally, she meant to say,
but not in emotionally he is the best. Covers me, Yeah,
covers me, gives me flowers, loves my daughter.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Like she is his. Okay, he has no children. He
is awesome.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I can't. I can't explain that enough. That's literally I can't.
And then she used the period there, Oh, I can't.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I can't explain that enough. Physically he is so he
is white, so I'm not used to that. And also
he is overweight.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Okay, she using periods in this, I.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Am She just said he white and fat. No me,
not ever, that's probably one of your friends. No, it's
not know me, not ever. Being with a white man
is very different knowing me not being with Okay, also
because he's not rich white boy, he is you know,
(04:05):
trailer park kind of raised, if you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So he grew up in the trenches, so you can
kind of relate. But he's still white.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So I will say that black people hood and white
peoplehood are completely two different things. Absolutely, black people some
black people some black people.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Black people you can't really tell.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
You tell, you know, they from the hood or they
still in the hood. You know, they keep theirself up.
Black people you can't really tell. I'm a paraphrase. I
think if you're saying black people, you could tell, you
can't really tell that they're from the hood because they'll
keep themselves up.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
They keep their clothes together, their teeth together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
That's not all that.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
But whenever you go to the white side, you know,
you start to see a little you know, some things
they don't really care about, like close haircuts, et cetera,
or smell. Yeah, so I'm finding myself starting to say
little things about his weight, which I really don't like
that I'm doing. But he doesn't bring up the fact
that he wants to work out or he wants to
(05:15):
be better for himself. And I'm not just saying that
he needs to lose weight to look better for me.
You know, I'm saying you need to have some pride
in yourself and you know, love yourself, pour into yourself
because when it comes to me and my daughter, got it,
memory is downpacked.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Hmm. What look if you made tail us say what Because.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
When it comes to me and my daughter, he got it,
memory downpacked. Get okay. He's remembering everything when it okay.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
So he's remembering everything when it comes to my daughter,
But when it comes to himself, he doesn't put effort.
Like haircut, I have to remind him to shave his beard
sometimes I have to, you know, kind of bring up
the conversation of him exercising. Gave him some ozembic shots
before and he didn't like it, so he stopped and
was And it was the point that he actually asked me,
(06:08):
do you like the way I look? I'm sad to say,
but my little comments are making him insecure and I
do love him, but I don't want him to be
unhealthy too. Mmmm. He put two oh two, yes, she says.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh shit, So she put the wrong.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
All right. If you know one day kind of not
be attracted to you know, one day kind of not
be attracted to him or not because the face card
his face card is banging ice what?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Oh no, keep going you almost done?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Kind of not be attracted one Okay, I call that,
you know, one day kind of not be attracted to
him or not because the face card his face card
is being eyes cute?
Speaker 4 (07:09):
What does that even mean? He's a ginger all that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I just feel like I'm gonna get tired of looking
at that. And I know I sound horrible. I know
it sounds horrible. God forgive me. She reached herself a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Also, my Balby daddy is forty seven and I'm twenty eight. Okay,
excuse me.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I'm kind of used to being with men that
have more than me and teaching me things, but that
don't work work out because most of the time men
with money become controlling.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
In my situation.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Now, I'm with this twenty five year old that has
stepped up more than her own father and don't have
a lot of money or the best job.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
She's talking about her white guy, right yeah, okay, he's
twenty one, twenty five, twenty five, and how old is she?
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Twenty eight?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Okay, and don't have a lot of money or the
best job, but it's at the job every day doing overtime.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
It's just little things I'm concerned about.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I know, I could try to motivate him to work
out or work out with him, but it's the fact
that I'm trying to do that for him. Chance me off.
I can get that though. Yeah, I understand that last part.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Okay, Oh so that was it? Yeah, all right, So
what does she want?
Speaker 4 (08:22):
I guess what should she do with her feelings towards
the white guy? Kind of?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So pretty much, I think in a nutshell, after we
tried our best, we fought through that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I think I get what she's saying.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So basically, she got out of a relationship with her
child's father, who is twenty years older than her, and
because that's what she's usually used to. But this new guy,
he is amazing. She met him at her church or
something like that, or after she took two years off
to be single or whatever and get to know herself
and be by herself, she met this amazing guy. She
(08:57):
did call him amazing, you know, before saying he is
white and fat, and she's trying to not insult him,
but in ways motivate him to take initiative to get
on the fitness journey, you know, so he can start
looking better, he can start you know, I could get the.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
How being confident, but I could get how.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
That's tiring. Yeah, yeah, they're very draining.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Like you want to then begin, I guess you want to.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Like the fact that she said he's amazing and she
gave him all this praise, and then.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Let's just less. You know, nobody is perfect, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Because whatever what out weighs what baby girl like does
the disadvantages way, you know, outweigh the advantages.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You know, how does he treat you?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know, and you said he does more for you
than for you and the baby then the baby's dad.
If I'm not mistaken, Yeah, I think that's what you said. Yeah,
they doing more. I mean he's doing more now if
it's just honestly, I get how draining it could be.
But if it's honestly just his appearance, him being fat
(10:18):
and him not having a haircut, and I guess the
way he dressed or whatever the fuck right.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And the fact that he's white too.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
All of that can be fixed except for him being
white and he don't God damnay, you're gonna wake up
and he black, you know, or brown or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
But you can change that. Y'all can work out together,
because I would hate for you.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
But I think she's saying that she don't want to
keep like.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Having to She don't want to have that responsibility of
being like his trainer or his life coach or in
a sense.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
She wants him to take the initiative. But what if
he's just not that person. Yeah, he's not the person.
And also he's three years younger than her. What if
he just ain't that person, he ain't growing to that.
Yeah he's twenty five. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
But that comes to a discussion about like relationships though, because
compromises sacrifice and he wants to be look better also
for it's like one of those I think maybe he's
feeling like, well, if you love me like you love
me the way I am in a sense, so he
doesn't feel like he needs to change or something.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yeah, versus oh she likes that, let me keep that up.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, it's like he's not seeing it.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
What I will go back to is when she was
like kind of comparing, you know, black peoplehood versus white peoplehood,
white people from the hood versus black people from the hood.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yes, it's very different growing up in Baltimore City.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yes, our hoods are two totally different places.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
White people, that's South Baltimore. You know, you got that
South Baltimore is where all the white people was at,
where all the crab spots ats. So it already smelled
fishy going down there. And then you know, you got
white people too. If that ain't you know, if the
fish ain't bad enough, the seafood ain't bad enough to
smell because it's raw and it's fresh, then you got
white people living on each end, and they are the
(12:05):
drug addict white people you see. Yes, Yeslia, Oh my god,
oh my god. Yes, I know about Kessinton. Yes, Lord,
I got family in Philly. Yes, I used to go
to Philly when I was little. No, I don't got family.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And Consinson don't look at me because you look over
like oh Ill, like don't okay.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
It's just saying like.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yeah, that's a different I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
We would have to like go past that like we
would see like see them you know out there.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Lord.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
But yeah, and I know every city has their their
white they're hood whites or whatever. But they also the
same motherfuckers who'll be saying nigga, but they say it differently.
They don't call you a nigga. They call each other
niggas too, like, man, get the fuck on my face, nigga,
you know things like that. Now, what if he's one
of those white boys.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Well she didn't say nothing about that.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That's pretty because she liked that part. But I really know,
I think she she says.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
She never dated a white boy either.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
For her, I know, maybe it's just her coming to
realize that maybe this is not what she wants or something.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Maybe, but baby girl, I would hate for her to
lead that man, right, and then he go fucking level up,
boss up, he work out, He start, you know, really
looking the fuck good, and you know, he go from
Bubba Spoks to Check Hanks. Yeah, and it's like, hey,
you know what I'm saying, Like he's not about to
(13:40):
be like hey, bighead, you know what I mean? Like,
because everything else is great he does for her, her daughter,
Everything is just his confidence. And I'm just gonna just
chalk it up as his confidence, like it's his fucking confidence.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Yeah, yeah, well she should do Hold.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Up, Hold up, I know the shit getting good, But
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
If you love me, you'll listen. Well she should do
I don't know what the fuck. I don't know. And
I know I'm a specialist, but I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I feel like, wow, I don't know how long she's
I know what she should do, well, I'm not I
know what I would do.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I would help that nigga, Like I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I know it gets draining, mama, and I know you
got a kid, but if he helped with the kid
and everything, and you know what I'm saying, it's like
I just would hate for her to throw it away
over appearance. And and she don't have to say thing
because she said she's starting to insult him, you know
what I mean, Her little remarks are making him insecure.
(14:43):
You don't gotta do it like that, Just be like, yo,
let's go to the gym, fuck or let's let's ragaby steps.
The gym is a big step for somebody who I
guess not you know, walk him, like, walk him into
that shit.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Set it up a certain way.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Ya ain't gotta start with the gym, you know, ain't
got to be too intimidating, start with chain eating habit
for like a month. You know what I'm saying, all right,
but we're not doing for our foods this month. All right,
We're gonna do vegetables and fruits. We're gonna chest this week.
That I guarantee you. She she said, deliver the right way.
She delivered it the right way. It's gonna get through
to them. And if not, then you fucking leave. You
(15:17):
don't just throw in a towel over and no ship like that.
You feel me like, I don't think so. I wouldn't
do that again. I don't give these people advice off
of like I guess what they should do, what I
what I would do, un less unless it's just obvious,
like bitch lave them, you know, But no, sometimes.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It is that obvious.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But I really feel like it is love here for sure,
you know, because you know, when we were trying to
decipher through what she was saying and the passage, she
do seem to care for him a lot, and you
know he treats her, well, she loves him.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
He loves her. This is the first white guy girl. Listen.
She I feel like all of that stuff is stuff
you can change.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
People are in relationships not being able to do certain
things like they there. Some people are in relationships trying
to make it work and the person ain't never going
to change. They're not happy because they they know the
person ain't never gonna change.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
This ship is fixable. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Have you ever been with somebody that you was about
to leave over something that was fixable?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You know, something that you you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I mean, I've lost attraction to someone, well, okay, but.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You you you've lost attraction in somebody. Okay. So it
was that a weight thing? Was that, like hot?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What what made you want? There had to be something
that you were attracted to, what made them on the track?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
This back when I was in high school for the
most part, like the guy was with he was sweeting
everything else like that, but he just wasn't that much
ambitious that I need him to be.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
And then on top of that too, like it was
a little bit temptation, like he was my first boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I went on a college tour like a black college
tour thing, and I see all these like black men
trying to like and go. Like he couldn't relate in
a sense, like he was just happy, which is I
guess also an encompassment. He was just happy graduating high school. Yeah,
and I want him to like, well, why don't.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
You go further?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
But I mean they say college is been for everybody
and everything else, but I just didn't want that. Yeah,
he didn't have like a a path, it seemed like,
or a plan wanted to.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Like you said, no ambition, not like he was just
like I'll go with the flow type of person.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Yeah, okay, let me just get this job.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Like comfortable, very comfortable. Yeah, Like I like, have a passion.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
For something, yeah yeah, And that's usually what I see.
Women desire a man who has a passion or who
has a purpose, and even if you don't know what
his purpose is, he's destined to find it. Like he
is purposeful in trying to figure out what his purpose is,
you know what I'm saying, Like he's very intentional about
finding out what that is.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
So I definitely understand that. But how old were.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
You then, maybe be like seventeen eighteen girl?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Uh? Uh, First of all, when I was seventeen, I
really wasn't worrying about a nigga being passionate about something. Fuck,
because I knew what I wanted or why, Like I
was going to college.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You didn't know what you wanted when you were seventeen
years old, Taylor and a man.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Yeah, I did, though, or at least that aspect of it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
All Right, So look, do you know it's the same
thing that she wanted me you were seven seen in
the man, the same thing you want to and be
honest that don't you answer the question to prove you right,
don't ever try to be right?
Speaker 4 (19:00):
And it says I still.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Want a man that is like or I need a
man that's passionate about what you want to do, like
I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You were just very ahead of your time and very
mature to be seventeen, because I said the way I
thought I was very say, like I was like twenty
five or twenty six.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
You were a fucking teenager. You didn't even you weren't
even graduated from my high school yet. Yeah, but worrying.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
About I knew going to the next level, that's where
that's where it's going to because the next level is
college because you were a senior seventeen, right, yeah, a
senior in high school.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, so you were already thinking about the next chapter
of what your life is going to be and who
you would want to be compatible.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
With, like who you went, and I was I was
having those conversations with my parents, like, so what do
you want to do with this councteamers that were having
I was having where I don't think his family was
having that. It was like one of those like Okay,
you about to yeah, get out of high.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
School with like blossoming into blossom into the next phase
of your life, which is Kyle and moving out possibly
or whatever you know, and you okay, well, yeah you
get great with you honestly, that's really good.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
But thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
But I don't be wrong though, Like I definitely was
more lustful when I was younger, right, right, but.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You just always kind of knew what you wanted and
what you were going for and what you wouldn't go for.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, got you, that's what's up. Meanwhile, girl, seventeen, I
was somewhere.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Trying to coke. Yeah wait what Yeah, I'm not gonna
repeat it. The fuck you rewinded for didn't ship. That's it.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I didn't do judge until I got to college.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Kid like okay, bitch, all right, oh yeah, I ain't.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I ain't do that because yo, I don't understand, like
my how I was like, dare I took that serious?
Like I'm not gonna do and I was really into
also running track then whatever. Yeah. So, and it was
Ryan people that probably did it, but that just wasn't
(21:12):
because even like I remember I through a house party
and I remember something, and I went to white school
some white kids like we're doing weed and everything like that,
but I just wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
That wasn't like that didn't make you say, oh that
wasn't that didn't influence you to do that ship?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, okay, got you?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
All right, Well what the fuck did we even start
with the white guy?
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Okay, So I think it's fixable. I think she should
definitely fix that about it.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
She got a what kind of because she went into
person because I think attraction does have an effect on
the relationship. Yeah yeah, I wonder if she just kind
of fell for like you know what, now I think
about it. It wasn't even just in high school when
(22:07):
I first moved up here, I lost attraction for a
person like I think she might maybe she fell in
love with like this is the personality how he was
treating her versus like.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Women look like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But then later yeah, she was Okay. Now that I'm
feeling out of love and we I've been seeing you more.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I really been seeing you.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I haven't like I've done that before where I like
how this guy's been treating me and he was still
at tracked at a point.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
But then I realized, like you don't know how to.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Grow beards, like certain things you start to pick apart
when you get to know a person.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah I got you. Yeah, so maybe it's not.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Maybe he's not the total package for her, you know
what I mean, because I've done that too. But if
he is, don't throw on a towel or you know,
if you if there's love there and you still feel
you know, unless you are, just like with Taylor saying
and what I I just came to the conclusion of
it was like, all right, this is not my total package.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
He came and he wound me.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I love some things about him, However, this is not
who I see myself, who I see myself continuing with
then I get it. Leave fine, but you know, because
that's not what I'm getting from your story. Taylor is
getting that, but I wasn't getting that. I was getting that.
You do love him and you want to be with him,
you want to explore what a life together would be like.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
However, you just don't like the fact that he's fat
and he has no desire to like work out or
you know, you want him to have some type of
self dignity. You want him to take initiative to do
better with his health and fitness journey or whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
You know what I'm saying. Because you want your man
to lead you, you want your man to look good
doing it. I get it, So try to help him,
try to help more.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Talim.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Look, I'm gonna leave you if you don't lose some weight.
I'm sorry, That's just what it.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Is, babe.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Damn Let him up and watch how fast he found
a fucking treadmill. And just like that, we've come to
the end of yet another canfully reckless episode with your girl.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
When I'll be doing I'll be fixing mess and my
girls tailor here with me, y'all say by the Tailor
tail Say bye, Pace, We'll see y'all next week. Can't
(25:25):
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Welcome to Can'tfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects. And just like that, we're back with
yet another carefully reckless episode with a girl just hilarious.
(00:20):
What are you doing? I'll be fixing mess and I'm
gonna jump right in. This is a long ass written story. Okay,
she should have sent me in a mother fucking voice. No,
but this girl can spell. I don't see too many
punctuation marks, but at least she can spell. So we're
just gonna get it popping like this.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
All right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Hey, Joss, I am so happy to hear that your
baby girl came out healthy, beautiful and loved.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh thank you boo.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just want to start out by saying that before
I start my question and story. I recently had my
baby about two years ago, and unfortunately her father and
I split up when she was a month old. I
moved to Georgia, started over and started living with my mother.
Things have been peaceful for me and my child. She
hasn't been around any toxicity at all. I took these
(01:07):
two years to be by myself, single and find myself
back right with God, going to church, and I see
what happens when you don't put periods or fucking commas
or semi colon's or exclamation points. I need something, And
I've had the pleasure in meeting an amazing guy. Now
he is completely what I am not used to. Lord Jesus,
(01:34):
I've had the pleasure in meeting an amazing guy. Now
he is completely what I am not used to physically
and mentally, mentally and emotionally, he is the best. He
covers me with flowers. What I'm getting so pissed the
fuck off? Yo, because people be sending me shit, y'oll
(01:57):
and it's like, Yo.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I'm gonna do something else.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I'm gonna have to take this ship on the road
and have bitches doing the ship live and give them
the mic. Now you tell me your story, or you
read what the fuck you wrote that ship?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You wrote it?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Now you read it? God damn, How the funk are
supposed to fix this girl?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
God damn. So I'm on this part right here, like
just that, like do you try to read it? You
try to read that things have been.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Peaceful for me and my child. She hasn't been around
any Texas city. Oh. I took these almost two years.
She had to put the almost these almost two years
to be myself single and find myself back right with God,
going to church, and I've had the pleasure of meeting
an amazing guy.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
This is a run on sentence. An amazing guy.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Now he is completely why I am not what I
am not used to physically, Okay, so now he is
completely what I am not used to physically and mentally
and emotionally.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
He mentally, but don't give over that second.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Mentally mL Shoot, when I'm not used to physically and
mentally mentally, I got but emotionally, she meant to say,
but not in emotionally he is the best. Covers me, Yeah,
covers me, gives me flowers, loves my daughter.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Like she is his. Okay, he has no children. He
is awesome.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I can't. I can't explain that enough. That's literally I can't.
And then she used the period there, Oh, I can't.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I can't explain that enough. Physically he is so he
is white, so I'm not used to that. And also
he is overweight.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Okay, she using periods in this, I.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Am She just said he white and fat. No me,
not ever, that's probably one of your friends. No, it's
not know me, not ever. Being with a white man
is very different knowing me not being with Okay, also
because he's not rich white boy, he is you know,
(04:05):
trailer park kind of raised, if you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So he grew up in the trenches, so you can
kind of relate. But he's still white.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So I will say that black people hood and white
peoplehood are completely two different things. Absolutely, black people some
black people some black people.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Black people you can't really tell.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
You tell, you know, they from the hood or they
still in the hood. You know, they keep theirself up.
Black people you can't really tell. I'm a paraphrase. I
think if you're saying black people, you could tell, you
can't really tell that they're from the hood because they'll
keep themselves up.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
They keep their clothes together, their teeth together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
That's not all that.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
But whenever you go to the white side, you know,
you start to see a little you know, some things
they don't really care about, like close haircuts, et cetera,
or smell. Yeah, so I'm finding myself starting to say
little things about his weight, which I really don't like
that I'm doing. But he doesn't bring up the fact
that he wants to work out or he wants to
(05:15):
be better for himself. And I'm not just saying that
he needs to lose weight to look better for me.
You know, I'm saying you need to have some pride
in yourself and you know, love yourself, pour into yourself
because when it comes to me and my daughter, got it,
memory is downpacked.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Hmm. What look if you made tail us say what Because.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
When it comes to me and my daughter, he got it,
memory downpacked. Get okay. He's remembering everything when it okay.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
So he's remembering everything when it comes to my daughter,
But when it comes to himself, he doesn't put effort.
Like haircut, I have to remind him to shave his beard
sometimes I have to, you know, kind of bring up
the conversation of him exercising. Gave him some ozembic shots
before and he didn't like it, so he stopped and
was And it was the point that he actually asked me,
(06:08):
do you like the way I look? I'm sad to say,
but my little comments are making him insecure and I
do love him, but I don't want him to be
unhealthy too. Mmmm. He put two oh two, yes, she says.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Oh shit, So she put the wrong.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
All right. If you know one day kind of not
be attracted to you know, one day kind of not
be attracted to him or not because the face card
his face card is banging ice what?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Oh no, keep going you almost done?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Kind of not be attracted one Okay, I call that,
you know, one day kind of not be attracted to
him or not because the face card his face card
is being eyes cute?
Speaker 4 (07:09):
What does that even mean? He's a ginger all that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I just feel like I'm gonna get tired of looking
at that. And I know I sound horrible. I know
it sounds horrible. God forgive me. She reached herself a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
Also, my Balby daddy is forty seven and I'm twenty eight. Okay,
excuse me.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So I'm kind of used to being with men that
have more than me and teaching me things, but that
don't work work out because most of the time men
with money become controlling.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
In my situation.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Now, I'm with this twenty five year old that has
stepped up more than her own father and don't have
a lot of money or the best job.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
She's talking about her white guy, right yeah, okay, he's
twenty one, twenty five, twenty five, and how old is she?
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Twenty eight?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Okay, and don't have a lot of money or the
best job, but it's at the job every day doing overtime.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
It's just little things I'm concerned about.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I know, I could try to motivate him to work
out or work out with him, but it's the fact
that I'm trying to do that for him. Chance me off.
I can get that though. Yeah, I understand that last part.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Okay, Oh so that was it? Yeah, all right, So
what does she want?
Speaker 4 (08:22):
I guess what should she do with her feelings towards
the white guy? Kind of?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So pretty much, I think in a nutshell, after we
tried our best, we fought through that.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I think I get what she's saying.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So basically, she got out of a relationship with her
child's father, who is twenty years older than her, and
because that's what she's usually used to. But this new guy,
he is amazing. She met him at her church or
something like that, or after she took two years off
to be single or whatever and get to know herself
and be by herself, she met this amazing guy. She
(08:57):
did call him amazing, you know, before saying he is
white and fat, and she's trying to not insult him,
but in ways motivate him to take initiative to get
on the fitness journey, you know, so he can start
looking better, he can start you know, I could get the.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
How being confident, but I could get how.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
That's tiring. Yeah, yeah, they're very draining.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Like you want to then begin, I guess you want to.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Like the fact that she said he's amazing and she
gave him all this praise, and then.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Let's just less. You know, nobody is perfect, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Because whatever what out weighs what baby girl like does
the disadvantages way, you know, outweigh the advantages.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You know, how does he treat you?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know, and you said he does more for you
than for you and the baby then the baby's dad.
If I'm not mistaken, Yeah, I think that's what you said. Yeah,
they doing more. I mean he's doing more now if
it's just honestly, I get how draining it could be.
But if it's honestly just his appearance, him being fat
(10:18):
and him not having a haircut, and I guess the
way he dressed or whatever the fuck right.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
And the fact that he's white too.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
All of that can be fixed except for him being
white and he don't God damnay, you're gonna wake up
and he black, you know, or brown or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
But you can change that. Y'all can work out together,
because I would hate for you.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
But I think she's saying that she don't want to
keep like.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Having to She don't want to have that responsibility of
being like his trainer or his life coach or in
a sense.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
She wants him to take the initiative. But what if
he's just not that person. Yeah, he's not the person.
And also he's three years younger than her. What if
he just ain't that person, he ain't growing to that.
Yeah he's twenty five. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
But that comes to a discussion about like relationships though, because
compromises sacrifice and he wants to be look better also
for it's like one of those I think maybe he's
feeling like, well, if you love me like you love
me the way I am in a sense, so he
doesn't feel like he needs to change or something.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Yeah, versus oh she likes that, let me keep that up.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, it's like he's not seeing it.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
What I will go back to is when she was
like kind of comparing, you know, black peoplehood versus white peoplehood,
white people from the hood versus black people from the hood.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yes, it's very different growing up in Baltimore City.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yes, our hoods are two totally different places.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
White people, that's South Baltimore. You know, you got that
South Baltimore is where all the white people was at,
where all the crab spots ats. So it already smelled
fishy going down there. And then you know, you got
white people too. If that ain't you know, if the
fish ain't bad enough, the seafood ain't bad enough to
smell because it's raw and it's fresh, then you got
white people living on each end, and they are the
(12:05):
drug addict white people you see. Yes, Yeslia, Oh my god,
oh my god. Yes, I know about Kessinton. Yes, Lord,
I got family in Philly. Yes, I used to go
to Philly when I was little. No, I don't got family.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And Consinson don't look at me because you look over
like oh Ill, like don't okay.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
It's just saying like.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yeah, that's a different I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
We would have to like go past that like we
would see like see them you know out there.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Lord.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
But yeah, and I know every city has their their
white they're hood whites or whatever. But they also the
same motherfuckers who'll be saying nigga, but they say it differently.
They don't call you a nigga. They call each other
niggas too, like, man, get the fuck on my face, nigga,
you know things like that. Now, what if he's one
of those white boys.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Well she didn't say nothing about that.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
That's pretty because she liked that part. But I really know,
I think she she says.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
She never dated a white boy either.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
For her, I know, maybe it's just her coming to
realize that maybe this is not what she wants or something.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Maybe, but baby girl, I would hate for her to
lead that man, right, and then he go fucking level up,
boss up, he work out, He start, you know, really
looking the fuck good, and you know, he go from
Bubba Spoks to Check Hanks. Yeah, and it's like, hey,
you know what I'm saying, Like he's not about to
(13:40):
be like hey, bighead, you know what I mean? Like,
because everything else is great he does for her, her daughter,
Everything is just his confidence. And I'm just gonna just
chalk it up as his confidence, like it's his fucking confidence.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Yeah, yeah, well she should do Hold.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Up, Hold up, I know the shit getting good, But
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
If you love me, you'll listen. Well she should do
I don't know what the fuck. I don't know. And
I know I'm a specialist, but I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I feel like, wow, I don't know how long she's
I know what she should do, well, I'm not I
know what I would do.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I would help that nigga, Like I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I know it gets draining, mama, and I know you
got a kid, but if he helped with the kid
and everything, and you know what I'm saying, it's like
I just would hate for her to throw it away
over appearance. And and she don't have to say thing
because she said she's starting to insult him, you know
what I mean, Her little remarks are making him insecure.
(14:43):
You don't gotta do it like that, Just be like, yo,
let's go to the gym, fuck or let's let's ragaby steps.
The gym is a big step for somebody who I
guess not you know, walk him, like, walk him into
that shit.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Set it up a certain way.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Ya ain't gotta start with the gym, you know, ain't
got to be too intimidating, start with chain eating habit
for like a month. You know what I'm saying, all right,
but we're not doing for our foods this month. All right,
We're gonna do vegetables and fruits. We're gonna chest this week.
That I guarantee you. She she said, deliver the right way.
She delivered it the right way. It's gonna get through
to them. And if not, then you fucking leave. You
(15:17):
don't just throw in a towel over and no ship like that.
You feel me like, I don't think so. I wouldn't
do that again. I don't give these people advice off
of like I guess what they should do, what I
what I would do, un less unless it's just obvious,
like bitch lave them, you know, But no, sometimes.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
It is that obvious.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But I really feel like it is love here for sure,
you know, because you know, when we were trying to
decipher through what she was saying and the passage, she
do seem to care for him a lot, and you
know he treats her, well, she loves him.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
He loves her. This is the first white guy girl. Listen.
She I feel like all of that stuff is stuff
you can change.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
People are in relationships not being able to do certain
things like they there. Some people are in relationships trying
to make it work and the person ain't never going
to change. They're not happy because they they know the
person ain't never gonna change.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
This ship is fixable. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Have you ever been with somebody that you was about
to leave over something that was fixable?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
You know, something that you you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I mean, I've lost attraction to someone, well, okay, but.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You you you've lost attraction in somebody. Okay. So it
was that a weight thing? Was that, like hot?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What what made you want? There had to be something
that you were attracted to, what made them on the track?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
This back when I was in high school for the
most part, like the guy was with he was sweeting
everything else like that, but he just wasn't that much
ambitious that I need him to be.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
And then on top of that too, like it was
a little bit temptation, like he was my first boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I went on a college tour like a black college
tour thing, and I see all these like black men
trying to like and go. Like he couldn't relate in
a sense, like he was just happy, which is I
guess also an encompassment. He was just happy graduating high school. Yeah,
and I want him to like, well, why don't.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
You go further?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
But I mean they say college is been for everybody
and everything else, but I just didn't want that. Yeah,
he didn't have like a a path, it seemed like,
or a plan wanted to.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Like you said, no ambition, not like he was just
like I'll go with the flow type of person.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Yeah, okay, let me just get this job.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Like comfortable, very comfortable. Yeah, Like I like, have a passion.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
For something, yeah yeah, And that's usually what I see.
Women desire a man who has a passion or who
has a purpose, and even if you don't know what
his purpose is, he's destined to find it. Like he
is purposeful in trying to figure out what his purpose is,
you know what I'm saying, Like he's very intentional about
finding out what that is.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
So I definitely understand that. But how old were.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
You then, maybe be like seventeen eighteen girl?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Uh? Uh, First of all, when I was seventeen, I
really wasn't worrying about a nigga being passionate about something. Fuck,
because I knew what I wanted or why, Like I
was going to college.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You didn't know what you wanted when you were seventeen
years old, Taylor and a man.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Yeah, I did, though, or at least that aspect of it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
All Right, So look, do you know it's the same
thing that she wanted me you were seven seen in
the man, the same thing you want to and be
honest that don't you answer the question to prove you right,
don't ever try to be right?
Speaker 4 (19:00):
And it says I still.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Want a man that is like or I need a
man that's passionate about what you want to do, like
I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You were just very ahead of your time and very
mature to be seventeen, because I said the way I
thought I was very say, like I was like twenty
five or twenty six.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
You were a fucking teenager. You didn't even you weren't
even graduated from my high school yet. Yeah, but worrying.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
About I knew going to the next level, that's where
that's where it's going to because the next level is
college because you were a senior seventeen, right, yeah, a
senior in high school.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, so you were already thinking about the next chapter
of what your life is going to be and who
you would want to be compatible.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
With, like who you went, and I was I was
having those conversations with my parents, like, so what do
you want to do with this councteamers that were having
I was having where I don't think his family was
having that. It was like one of those like Okay,
you about to yeah, get out of high.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
School with like blossoming into blossom into the next phase
of your life, which is Kyle and moving out possibly
or whatever you know, and you okay, well, yeah you
get great with you honestly, that's really good.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
But thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
But I don't be wrong though, Like I definitely was
more lustful when I was younger, right, right, but.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
You just always kind of knew what you wanted and
what you were going for and what you wouldn't go for.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, got you, that's what's up. Meanwhile, girl, seventeen, I
was somewhere.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Trying to coke. Yeah wait what Yeah, I'm not gonna
repeat it. The fuck you rewinded for didn't ship. That's it.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
I didn't do judge until I got to college.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Kid like okay, bitch, all right, oh yeah, I ain't.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I ain't do that because yo, I don't understand, like
my how I was like, dare I took that serious?
Like I'm not gonna do and I was really into
also running track then whatever. Yeah. So, and it was
Ryan people that probably did it, but that just wasn't
(21:12):
because even like I remember I through a house party
and I remember something, and I went to white school
some white kids like we're doing weed and everything like that,
but I just wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
That wasn't like that didn't make you say, oh that
wasn't that didn't influence you to do that ship?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, okay, got you?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
All right, Well what the fuck did we even start
with the white guy?
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Okay, So I think it's fixable. I think she should
definitely fix that about it.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
She got a what kind of because she went into
person because I think attraction does have an effect on
the relationship. Yeah yeah, I wonder if she just kind
of fell for like you know what, now I think
about it. It wasn't even just in high school when
(22:07):
I first moved up here, I lost attraction for a
person like I think she might maybe she fell in
love with like this is the personality how he was
treating her versus like.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Women look like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But then later yeah, she was Okay. Now that I'm
feeling out of love and we I've been seeing you more.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I really been seeing you.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I haven't like I've done that before where I like
how this guy's been treating me and he was still
at tracked at a point.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
But then I realized, like you don't know how to.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Grow beards, like certain things you start to pick apart
when you get to know a person.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah I got you. Yeah, so maybe it's not.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Maybe he's not the total package for her, you know
what I mean, because I've done that too. But if
he is, don't throw on a towel or you know,
if you if there's love there and you still feel
you know, unless you are, just like with Taylor saying
and what I I just came to the conclusion of
it was like, all right, this is not my total package.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
You know.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
He came and he wound me.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I love some things about him, However, this is not
who I see myself, who I see myself continuing with
then I get it. Leave fine, but you know, because
that's not what I'm getting from your story. Taylor is
getting that, but I wasn't getting that. I was getting that.
You do love him and you want to be with him,
you want to explore what a life together would be like.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
However, you just don't like the fact that he's fat
and he has no desire to like work out or
you know, you want him to have some type of
self dignity. You want him to take initiative to do
better with his health and fitness journey or whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
You know what I'm saying. Because you want your man
to lead you, you want your man to look good
doing it. I get it, So try to help him,
try to help more.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Talim.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Look, I'm gonna leave you if you don't lose some weight.
I'm sorry, That's just what it.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Is, babe.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Damn Let him up and watch how fast he found
a fucking treadmill. And just like that, we've come to
the end of yet another canfully reckless episode with your girl.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Just hilarious.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
When I'll be doing I'll be fixing mess and my
girls tailor here with me, y'all say by the Tailor
tail Say bye, Pace, We'll see y'all next week. Can't
(25:25):
Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
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Host
Jess Hilarious
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Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.