December 10, 2024 • 22 mins
Previously Recorded
Happy Hump Day Y'all! Today, Jess is helping some people with sibling rivalry and a baby mama that's toooo close for comfort. Tap in!!
**Correction at 16:38 - Her name is Sheree
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Canfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects. Oh shit, back on the air, Welcome
back to you had another catholic reckless episode with your
girl Jess. Hilarious session. Fixed my mess. Here we are
(00:22):
and we got some voice notes today. Thank god I
ain't got to read. Thank god I can just focus
on fixing. All right, good, here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey, Jess, I want to see if you can fix
my mess.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I wanted to know what is your best suggestion on
cutting off family members that are always around. Like I
have a lot of sisters, and I'm friends with all
my sisters except for one of them.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
She's just really shady and she talks about us to
her mom.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
We have the same die, but we don't have the
same mom, and she talks about us. And like I
remember one time it went on a trip and her
phone was like out and our cousin saw that she
was texting her mom saying, oh, I'm not light her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm not like these other girls.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Like I don't drink, I don't smoke like I'm good,
you know what I mean? Like number one, why are
you telling your mom that we drink and we smoke?
Like we come from a really religious family, and I
could come back to our mom. Number one, you're telling
our business to your mom. And number two, why are
you talking shit about your own fucking blood?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Like that's so weird to me.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I've never in my life said anything bad about any siblings.
And I'm the type of person like if you whatever
energy you give me, I will get back to you.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's just like one of the shitty things that she's done.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And number two, she's just like really shitty to everybody.
This girl never keeps any friends because people always cut
her off because of the way that she asks, like
she'll talk shit about you, she'll tell your business. And
another thing that she did that just threw me off
recently is one of her friends got rejected by her
guy friends, and she calls her guy friends and was like,
oh my god, like laughing, like why.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Would she do that?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Like it's just like, I'm like, girl, you're so you're
such a fucking pickny.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I'm like, she grew up around boys, and I grew
up around girls, so I know how to be a
good friend, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
At the end of the day, the way that she
grew up.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
She never really had like females around her, so she
didn't really know.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She doesn't really know how to act. But I don't
really like her.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
And also there's another thing that she did, like her
mom sent one of our brothers, our half brothers, to
our family's business and tried to like steal our clients.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
And I think that she gets like she gets all
the shady behavior from her mom.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Her mom is just mad at my mom because she
was the other woman, you know what I mean. So
I think that's why she hates us so much, and
that's why my sister acts like that towards.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Us to like obviously be on her mom's side.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
But it's just like I don't like that fucking talkic shit.
Like whatever our parents have, it shouldn't come in between us,
you know what I mean. At the end of the day,
we're siblings. She doesn't really look at us that way.
She looks at us as the enemy because her mom
looked at us as the enemy, you know what I mean.
She's just projecting all of that onto us.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But honestly, like I can never get away from this girl.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I don't talk to her, I don't text her, but
every time that I go to her city to visit
my other sister, She's always blowing up my phone and
I just ignore all her calls, and then like she
called my sister and then it's like I'm kind of
just like in between. I'm kind of like in between
that and I can't really escape her. Do you think
I should just tell her like, yo, don't I don't
(03:21):
want to fuck with you, like I'm good off of you?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Or should I just play nice?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Because obviously she's friends with my sisters, and I love
my sisters to death, They're like my best friends. But
I don't like her, and all my other sisters don't
like her either, but they just kind of they just
like deal with her.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I can't do that, Like, that's not the type of
person I am.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I'm not the type of person to sit here and
laugh at somebody and play with them and be cool
with them even though I fucking.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Hate them in the inside. Like I'm a Sagittarius.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It's just it's hard for me, like to not tell
people how I feel. Do you think that just because
she'll she'll never change, I should just accept her for
the way that she is, or should I just fucking
check her and be like, bitch, like this is what
you did, this the way you did. I don't fuck
with you and put it all out there.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Or should I just let it go.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Let me clarify on that one part where I said
that one of our moms was the other woman that
was shade. Neither of our moms were the other women.
Our father married for women. I'm not sure if it
was at the same time or I'm not sure, but
if you know anything about Muslims, men are allowed to
(04:29):
marry up to four women, and both of our mothers
have kids close in age, so I'm assuming that our
dad married my sister's mom and my mom around the
same time, if not the same year.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So yeah, I just wanted to clarify on that part.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Thank you, no problem, money. I love that. I love
the clarification because listen, you sent me the other part
on a whole other day. You sent me the first
story a whole other day, and then you just sent
your correction not too long ago. Oh, I do understand
the shade was thrown. You were just in your feelings.
You were very upset, obviously something had just happened, and
(05:07):
you just you reacted. I understand, and I do respect,
I love and respect how you still respect her mother
enough to come back and correct that, like, no, okay,
she wasn't the other woman. Neither was my mom. You know,
we're Muslim, so dad is allowed to have more than
one wife or you know, or what have you. I
don't want to mess it up because I do not
(05:27):
want no smoke with no damn Muslims. All right, So
we're gonna keep it moving there. We're gonna get off
the Muslim part, all right. Listen, Okay, I want you
to have an open mind when I'm telling you this,
But your sister, do you sometimes feel that because you
and your other sisters, who are so close and tight
knit and just loyal to one another and thriving, you
(05:51):
have obviously a big part in the family business. And
you know, you're very well articulate, you sound very intelligent.
Do you think with that family dynamic over there, you
guys are by the same woman and man, same mom
and dad, and then her with a different mom and
a different household, you know, not as structured as what
(06:13):
it sounds like. And I'm basing that solely off of
her social skills and how you said she wasn't raised
around women, so she doesn't really know how to navigate
with all these feminine feelings and all this shit and
how the sister cold goes, you know, so she wouldn't
really know how to be a sister. Okay, growing up?
(06:33):
How was it? Because do you think that she could
sometimes feel like a black sheep? I don't know if
your dad still stayed with her mother after her mother
gave birth to her, or did he break up with
the mother and stay with your mother or how was it? Also,
was she around you guys growing up? Was she coming
to get dropped off? Did she spend holidays with you guys?
(06:54):
And did you guys go over there to her house
or whatever? Or you know, were you guys raised as
close sisters although you guys come from two different households.
Did she ever feel included in anything? Not justifying the
bullshit and the talking shit and all of that. But
is it possible that she could have grew up disliking
(07:15):
you guys because you have each other and she just
has her She doesn't have other sisters outside of her
dad and on her mom's side. I think you said
she has brothers. And let me tell you something right now,
I didn't grow up around girls either, but I know
not to do that shit. That's why I guess I'm
so rough and tough and I'm real quick on my feet,
and you know, I can spawl with the best of
(07:36):
these Nicholas out here because I grew up around guys.
I have brothers, you know, I have boy cousins. Now
I have female cousins too, But I was a tom
girl for the majority of my life. Like girl, I
didn't start wearing makeup and all that shit until I
got on wilding out. That's for real, and that's literally
like what six years ago. I was never into anything girly,
didn't even desire to hang around girls. Me and my
(07:58):
cousin London, and I had one female best friend named
Jasmine growing up two homegirls and like eighty fucking o boys,
never ever even desired to be around girls, hang around girls,
you know, no particular reason. I just like basketball and
shit better. So I'm not gonna say that doesn't have
anything at all to do with why she asks the
(08:19):
way she does. But I'm telling you it's different for everybody.
It's different for different people. I don't think that that
plays a part in it. I think she wants to love.
And I think you hit it on the head when
you said she's a pick me. It's like she's a
fucking pick me. Yeah, because I don't feel like she's
ever felt like she was picked before. You know what
I'm saying. That also can have an effect on you.
(08:40):
Pick Mees generally are the black sheeps, are the underdogs,
are the people that gotta fight harder to be seen.
They seem like they're attention seeking, and they are because
they never really got attention, You get what I'm saying.
And then if her mother was such an angry bitch,
no joking, sorry for mother was such an angry person
(09:02):
all her life from what you can remember, not all
her life. But you say like she's an angry person,
she's mean, she's nasty. If a child is growing up
around that, that child is going to be conditioned to
be the same way, even if our mother didn't teach
her to be that way. That's my mother, So I
inherit that I see that, I watch that, I learn
(09:24):
her behavior and she doesn't even really realize she's teaching
it to me. And maybe she did teach it on purpose,
But I don't drink and all that you know all
that shit comes from her mother. You guys are living life, chilling,
having fun, thinking y'all can trust y'all sister to have
fun with y'all too. Have y'all ever sat down and
talked to her? Literally, have y'all ever just just sat down?
(09:48):
I think that would be great. And honestly, I know
you don't like her. I know your sisters don't like her.
I don't think she likes y'all either, But that has
to stop. And you know you can't save every relationship.
You can't save every friendship, you can't even save every
family ship. But to be honest with you, I think
(10:08):
you even writing me is a sign that you do
want to fix it, because you asked me. Should I
just say fucking them off of you? Or should I
just continue to play nice? I don't think you should
do either. Hey, I don't think you should break up
with your sister. No, I don't half sister whatever. I
don't think you should break up with her. And I
also don't think you should play nice, because that's being phony.
I think you should set her ass down, you and her,
(10:31):
not all the sisters. I think she needs to have
an individual conversation with each of you and then you
guys can come together and talk. And the reason why
I say that and is hear me out, because she
could possibly feel like with all of y'all talking to
her at the same time, y'all are going to go
back and talk about her when she gets up and leave,
(10:52):
because she is the only one that's divided. There is
a division there, you know that was created because of Dad.
So real, no one is to blame, not the mother,
not your mother, not the sister. But then again, we
can't even really blame Dad because it's religion that you
don't have to abide by one wife or one you
(11:15):
know so, and he was married to four women, as
you said, So these are divisions created because of religion.
I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that confidently because
that's and all be all in a nutshell, that's what
it is. I can't deem it to say it's wrong. However,
I'm not a Muslim, I'm Christian, and you can't have
(11:36):
more than one wife. You can't do that. Now, niggas
do it all day. Men cheat, men do this, but
it's not right in my religion. So what I'm saying
to you is. I think it should be an individual conversation.
You should go and talk to her, then your other
(11:57):
sister go and talk to her. Then the other sister
go talk to her, and then the other sister go
talk to he. I don't know how many of y'all
it is Papa rolling stonehead ass stamp, but I do
think that that would birth a whole new perspective about
you guys to her and then you never even know.
She could probably be wanting the love from y'all so bad,
(12:19):
but she doesn't want to be the bigger person. She
wants y'all to pull it out of her. You know,
she wants y'all to make the first step, and it's
okay in doing that. Y'all been playing nice all this
damn time. Why knowing y'all don't like the girl, and
knowing the girl don't like y'all, have a conversation with her. Hey, look,
and then you don't got to be nice in the conversation. Shit, you,
my sister, I'm gonna talk to you like a real
grown ass woman. Listen. I don't like that you talk
(12:43):
about me and our always include her. You want to
use words like our as mad as you may be
in this conversation as mad as you always probably feel that.
You know, you don't want to claim her or whatever,
or she's not like you. Yeah, she's not like you
because y'all don't have the same mother, but y'all got
a same dad. Trust me, you are more of your
(13:04):
mother than you are your father. I'll always believe that.
I don't care. You lived in her belly for nine months. Yes,
he helped create you, but you were bonded to your
mother for nine months. You were held by your mother
immediately after birth. You're a breastfait. Whether you're breastfed or not,
you bond skin to skin. So she's more of her
(13:26):
mother than your father. You're more of your mother than
y'all father. You understand. So sit down and talk to her,
you say, hey, what is it? Or you can just
start the conversation like that. What is it? What is
it about me that you hate? Why do you hate me?
Why do you dislike me? What is wrong? What did
I do to you? Why do you snitch on me?
(13:48):
Why do you think you're so different? What is the
problem with us? What is the underlying issue? Does it
have anything to do with our dad?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
You know?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Give her a chance to talk. Also, things may get
a little heated. I know, y'all better not put your
hands on each other, but that's not what sisters do.
Even half sisters don't suppose to do that. Okay, have
a conversation. Go to your other sisters, encourage them to
talk to her. Y'all don't have to fight fire with fire.
Let hollo ass beat the fire, put that shut out,
(14:16):
extinguish that shit. And if it doesn't work, even after
a sensible, civilized conversation, then fall back, I would say,
and let her come around. Don't treat her in no
different way. You just learn how to deal with it
with a long and destphone. Deal with her at a distance.
Love your sister from a distance. Okay, so check back
(14:36):
in with me, baby girl. That was a good one.
And she's so beautiful too. All right, we're gonna do
one more and we're gonna get out of here. Hold up,
hold up, I know this shit getting good, but listen
to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you
love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Moving on, Hey, jas, Okay, I'm gonna get right into it.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Twenty six years old and I'm dating a guy.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
He's really nice.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
He's not one of the.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Typical cool guys at date. He actually is shit.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Most of the guys you know, we tend to go after.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I tend to go after ain't shit, but.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Just one of her.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
He's doing pretty good either way. Anyways, he has a
three year old. I have no kids at all, and
he's real cool with his baby mother, and anybody else
will be great to not be going through baby mama drama.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But they a little too cool.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
They give their three year old, they.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Sit pictures down in front of her and give her
a choice of where she wants to go to different countries,
and she picks and they go as a family. And
I'm dating you, So it's kind of hard for me.
What should I do? How should I feel? I'm happy
that he's not having drama with his baby mother, but I.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Think that's a little bit much.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, so you cut that off and listen. I don't
even need you to finish. Girl, Leave that motherfucker alone.
Let's just what that is. Uh uh huh? This seme?
What the fuck this look like? Over this?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Please? What you date them? Is he your boyfriend? Because
to be honest with you, oh yeah, I'm coming with
y'all too. The fuck, I ain't never been to Somaliah.
I ain't never been a Saint Lucia. I never been
to Arabia. The fuck. Like, no, put some pictures in
front of me, motherfucker, and I'm going that sounds like
some Will Smith Jada Pinka. Shit, damn, what is this?
(16:18):
Because you know Will Smith has an older son right
before Jada. His name is Trey. Now. Will was married
to his mother before. Look the Baltimore was coming out
of me. Will was married to this woman before. Okay,
and I just watched a little snippet of Red Table
Talk where she actually came on. I think her name
(16:39):
is Lisa. I do not want to screw this woman's
name up. I think his first wife's name was Lisa.
She comes on the show and Jada says, oh, they
take trips together and everything like I did to go
out the country together. And then so Lisa said, you know,
you're gonna have to clear this up, right, Like, No,
that's your husband. Yes, he was mine before, but he's
your husband. You know you said stuff like that, You're
(17:00):
gonna have to clear it up. No, we don't just
go on trips because we're you know, like we fucking around,
nothing like that. No, I think they had some type
of like their business partners or something like that. But
either way, I don't care. Jada is so secure in
herself because she ain't really She don't give a damn
by no damn Willie, so she don't care. Right, she
got a few entanglements of her own still going on
(17:22):
that we don't know about yet that she probably will
tell us, because she tell us every damn thing, even
shit that she shouldn't tell us. But that's neither here
or there. She doesn't mind will traveling the world with
his baby mother and the son don't even be there
because the sun is grown, So imagine that I wouldn't
even do that shit. As comfortable as I am with
(17:44):
my son's father, me and my son and his dad
will never go out the country. If I'm dating someone,
we'll never go out the country together unless he taking
his girl and I'm taking my man. There's no way.
I don't care. That's just the respect level that I
(18:05):
would have for my man and that he's supposed to
have for his woman. That's just what that is. Girl,
lead that nigga alone, especially if he ain't inviting you
and when they go out the country together, do he
call you? Do he talked to girl? Look? Fuck that
lead that, nigga, that's just what that is. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now you cut your
story off. But I ain't even need to hear nothing else.
(18:26):
Fuck that lead that shit alone, because I don't have
time to girl. I ain't got time for that shit.
Did y'all hear that? That just pissed me off? I
want to know how serious you guys are. And when
you say dating, dating to me just means you're getting
to know a person. You know. You could be dating four, five,
six people, you know what I'm saying. You could be
(18:47):
dating a lot of people. You could be dating one
person if you choose a date one person. But are
you in a relationship. That's the difference, because if you're
actually in a relationship, that's unacceptable. I mean, come on,
come on, seriously, ask him? Would he allow the same?
If y'all are even on those terms, have you ever
bought this up to him before or is this your
(19:09):
first time even taking it outside of your relationship bringing
it to me? I think there needs to be a
communication level established. I don't think there is one? The
fuck and you say it like this is a regular
thing that they just be doing, and shit, that can't
be healthy. You can't like possibly be happy. The fuck?
I don't know. You said they're a little too cool?
(19:30):
Do you see any other signs of anything going on?
Like what the hell? And then and then hold up,
hold up, let me, I think this shit just clicked.
I'm gonna say this to y'all. I'm gonna leave on
this note. Is this nigger rich? And is that why
you fucking with him? Because he got money? Because if
he is frequently taking his family, because that's what it is, honey,
(19:52):
his family out the country, and the way he's presenting
the destination is setting pictures in front of a baby,
a three year old who don't even know how to
say country, probably much less spell it. The fuck this
nigga got some fucking money. What if she picked Egypt?
Is he was just gonna go over there because them
(20:13):
flights high as hell? Because that's where I'm going next week?
The hell do this nigga got money? And is that
the reason why you fucking with him? Because if that
is the reason why you fucking with him, girl, you
might as well, stay where you at if that's the reason. Shit,
if you really love him and you really value loyalty
and you value faithfulness, leave But if you just with
(20:35):
a nigga for his money, you can be cool with
your baby ba all day. Baby. Matter of fact, why
y'all go on the trip, send me on one so
I ain't even got to think about y'all me. I
ain't gotta go where y'all go. Just send me on
my own and give me another ticket so I can
take a nigga the fuck girl, get your life. But
chuck back in because I need to know, dude, this
nigga has somebody shit. And just like that, we're gonna
(20:57):
end this episode on that note. Y'all tuning every Wednesday
to Carefully Reckless, whether you're on your way to work
at the gym, sitting there doing paperwork, on your way
to take your babies to school. Whenever you want to
listen to my podcast, it's here and it's available, and
in my deepest paning voice, can't Fully Reckless is a
(22:27):
production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows,
Welcome to Canfley Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
the Black Effects. Oh shit, back on the air, Welcome
back to you had another catholic reckless episode with your
girl Jess. Hilarious session. Fixed my mess. Here we are
(00:22):
and we got some voice notes today. Thank god I
ain't got to read. Thank god I can just focus
on fixing. All right, good, here we go.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Hey, Jess, I want to see if you can fix
my mess.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I wanted to know what is your best suggestion on
cutting off family members that are always around. Like I
have a lot of sisters, and I'm friends with all
my sisters except for one of them.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
She's just really shady and she talks about us to
her mom.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
We have the same die, but we don't have the
same mom, and she talks about us. And like I
remember one time it went on a trip and her
phone was like out and our cousin saw that she
was texting her mom saying, oh, I'm not light her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I'm not like these other girls.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Like I don't drink, I don't smoke like I'm good,
you know what I mean? Like number one, why are
you telling your mom that we drink and we smoke?
Like we come from a really religious family, and I
could come back to our mom. Number one, you're telling
our business to your mom. And number two, why are
you talking shit about your own fucking blood?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Like that's so weird to me.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I've never in my life said anything bad about any siblings.
And I'm the type of person like if you whatever
energy you give me, I will get back to you.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
That's just like one of the shitty things that she's done.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
And number two, she's just like really shitty to everybody.
This girl never keeps any friends because people always cut
her off because of the way that she asks, like
she'll talk shit about you, she'll tell your business. And
another thing that she did that just threw me off
recently is one of her friends got rejected by her
guy friends, and she calls her guy friends and was like,
oh my god, like laughing, like why.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Would she do that?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Like it's just like, I'm like, girl, you're so you're
such a fucking pickny.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I'm like, she grew up around boys, and I grew
up around girls, so I know how to be a
good friend, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
At the end of the day, the way that she
grew up.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
She never really had like females around her, so she
didn't really know.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She doesn't really know how to act. But I don't
really like her.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
And also there's another thing that she did, like her
mom sent one of our brothers, our half brothers, to
our family's business and tried to like steal our clients.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
And I think that she gets like she gets all
the shady behavior from her mom.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Her mom is just mad at my mom because she
was the other woman, you know what I mean. So
I think that's why she hates us so much, and
that's why my sister acts like that towards.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Us to like obviously be on her mom's side.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
But it's just like I don't like that fucking talkic shit.
Like whatever our parents have, it shouldn't come in between us,
you know what I mean. At the end of the day,
we're siblings. She doesn't really look at us that way.
She looks at us as the enemy because her mom
looked at us as the enemy, you know what I mean.
She's just projecting all of that onto us.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But honestly, like I can never get away from this girl.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I don't talk to her, I don't text her, but
every time that I go to her city to visit
my other sister, She's always blowing up my phone and
I just ignore all her calls, and then like she
called my sister and then it's like I'm kind of
just like in between. I'm kind of like in between
that and I can't really escape her. Do you think
I should just tell her like, yo, don't I don't
(03:21):
want to fuck with you, like I'm good off of you?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Or should I just play nice?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Because obviously she's friends with my sisters, and I love
my sisters to death, They're like my best friends. But
I don't like her, and all my other sisters don't
like her either, but they just kind of they just
like deal with her.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I can't do that, Like, that's not the type of
person I am.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I'm not the type of person to sit here and
laugh at somebody and play with them and be cool
with them even though I fucking.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Hate them in the inside. Like I'm a Sagittarius.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
It's just it's hard for me, like to not tell
people how I feel. Do you think that just because
she'll she'll never change, I should just accept her for
the way that she is, or should I just fucking
check her and be like, bitch, like this is what
you did, this the way you did. I don't fuck
with you and put it all out there.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Or should I just let it go.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Let me clarify on that one part where I said
that one of our moms was the other woman that
was shade. Neither of our moms were the other women.
Our father married for women. I'm not sure if it
was at the same time or I'm not sure, but
if you know anything about Muslims, men are allowed to
(04:29):
marry up to four women, and both of our mothers
have kids close in age, so I'm assuming that our
dad married my sister's mom and my mom around the
same time, if not the same year.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So yeah, I just wanted to clarify on that part.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Thank you, no problem, money. I love that. I love
the clarification because listen, you sent me the other part
on a whole other day. You sent me the first
story a whole other day, and then you just sent
your correction not too long ago. Oh, I do understand
the shade was thrown. You were just in your feelings.
You were very upset, obviously something had just happened, and
(05:07):
you just you reacted. I understand, and I do respect,
I love and respect how you still respect her mother
enough to come back and correct that, like, no, okay,
she wasn't the other woman. Neither was my mom. You know,
we're Muslim, so dad is allowed to have more than
one wife or you know, or what have you. I
don't want to mess it up because I do not
(05:27):
want no smoke with no damn Muslims. All right, So
we're gonna keep it moving there. We're gonna get off
the Muslim part, all right. Listen, Okay, I want you
to have an open mind when I'm telling you this,
But your sister, do you sometimes feel that because you
and your other sisters, who are so close and tight
knit and just loyal to one another and thriving, you
(05:51):
have obviously a big part in the family business. And
you know, you're very well articulate, you sound very intelligent.
Do you think with that family dynamic over there, you
guys are by the same woman and man, same mom
and dad, and then her with a different mom and
a different household, you know, not as structured as what
(06:13):
it sounds like. And I'm basing that solely off of
her social skills and how you said she wasn't raised
around women, so she doesn't really know how to navigate
with all these feminine feelings and all this shit and
how the sister cold goes, you know, so she wouldn't
really know how to be a sister. Okay, growing up?
(06:33):
How was it? Because do you think that she could
sometimes feel like a black sheep? I don't know if
your dad still stayed with her mother after her mother
gave birth to her, or did he break up with
the mother and stay with your mother or how was it? Also,
was she around you guys growing up? Was she coming
to get dropped off? Did she spend holidays with you guys?
(06:54):
And did you guys go over there to her house
or whatever? Or you know, were you guys raised as
close sisters although you guys come from two different households.
Did she ever feel included in anything? Not justifying the
bullshit and the talking shit and all of that. But
is it possible that she could have grew up disliking
(07:15):
you guys because you have each other and she just
has her She doesn't have other sisters outside of her
dad and on her mom's side. I think you said
she has brothers. And let me tell you something right now,
I didn't grow up around girls either, but I know
not to do that shit. That's why I guess I'm
so rough and tough and I'm real quick on my feet,
and you know, I can spawl with the best of
(07:36):
these Nicholas out here because I grew up around guys.
I have brothers, you know, I have boy cousins. Now
I have female cousins too, But I was a tom
girl for the majority of my life. Like girl, I
didn't start wearing makeup and all that shit until I
got on wilding out. That's for real, and that's literally
like what six years ago. I was never into anything girly,
didn't even desire to hang around girls. Me and my
(07:58):
cousin London, and I had one female best friend named
Jasmine growing up two homegirls and like eighty fucking o boys,
never ever even desired to be around girls, hang around girls,
you know, no particular reason. I just like basketball and
shit better. So I'm not gonna say that doesn't have
anything at all to do with why she asks the
(08:19):
way she does. But I'm telling you it's different for everybody.
It's different for different people. I don't think that that
plays a part in it. I think she wants to love.
And I think you hit it on the head when
you said she's a pick me. It's like she's a
fucking pick me. Yeah, because I don't feel like she's
ever felt like she was picked before. You know what
I'm saying. That also can have an effect on you.
(08:40):
Pick Mees generally are the black sheeps, are the underdogs,
are the people that gotta fight harder to be seen.
They seem like they're attention seeking, and they are because
they never really got attention, You get what I'm saying.
And then if her mother was such an angry bitch,
no joking, sorry for mother was such an angry person
(09:02):
all her life from what you can remember, not all
her life. But you say like she's an angry person,
she's mean, she's nasty. If a child is growing up
around that, that child is going to be conditioned to
be the same way, even if our mother didn't teach
her to be that way. That's my mother, So I
inherit that I see that, I watch that, I learn
(09:24):
her behavior and she doesn't even really realize she's teaching
it to me. And maybe she did teach it on purpose,
But I don't drink and all that you know all
that shit comes from her mother. You guys are living life, chilling,
having fun, thinking y'all can trust y'all sister to have
fun with y'all too. Have y'all ever sat down and
talked to her? Literally, have y'all ever just just sat down?
(09:48):
I think that would be great. And honestly, I know
you don't like her. I know your sisters don't like her.
I don't think she likes y'all either, But that has
to stop. And you know you can't save every relationship.
You can't save every friendship, you can't even save every
family ship. But to be honest with you, I think
(10:08):
you even writing me is a sign that you do
want to fix it, because you asked me. Should I
just say fucking them off of you? Or should I
just continue to play nice? I don't think you should
do either. Hey, I don't think you should break up
with your sister. No, I don't half sister whatever. I
don't think you should break up with her. And I
also don't think you should play nice, because that's being phony.
I think you should set her ass down, you and her,
(10:31):
not all the sisters. I think she needs to have
an individual conversation with each of you and then you
guys can come together and talk. And the reason why
I say that and is hear me out, because she
could possibly feel like with all of y'all talking to
her at the same time, y'all are going to go
back and talk about her when she gets up and leave,
(10:52):
because she is the only one that's divided. There is
a division there, you know that was created because of Dad.
So real, no one is to blame, not the mother,
not your mother, not the sister. But then again, we
can't even really blame Dad because it's religion that you
don't have to abide by one wife or one you
(11:15):
know so, and he was married to four women, as
you said, So these are divisions created because of religion.
I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that confidently because
that's and all be all in a nutshell, that's what
it is. I can't deem it to say it's wrong. However,
I'm not a Muslim, I'm Christian, and you can't have
(11:36):
more than one wife. You can't do that. Now, niggas
do it all day. Men cheat, men do this, but
it's not right in my religion. So what I'm saying
to you is. I think it should be an individual conversation.
You should go and talk to her, then your other
(11:57):
sister go and talk to her. Then the other sister
go talk to her, and then the other sister go
talk to he. I don't know how many of y'all
it is Papa rolling stonehead ass stamp, but I do
think that that would birth a whole new perspective about
you guys to her and then you never even know.
She could probably be wanting the love from y'all so bad,
(12:19):
but she doesn't want to be the bigger person. She
wants y'all to pull it out of her. You know,
she wants y'all to make the first step, and it's
okay in doing that. Y'all been playing nice all this
damn time. Why knowing y'all don't like the girl, and
knowing the girl don't like y'all, have a conversation with her. Hey, look,
and then you don't got to be nice in the conversation. Shit, you,
my sister, I'm gonna talk to you like a real
grown ass woman. Listen. I don't like that you talk
(12:43):
about me and our always include her. You want to
use words like our as mad as you may be
in this conversation as mad as you always probably feel that.
You know, you don't want to claim her or whatever,
or she's not like you. Yeah, she's not like you
because y'all don't have the same mother, but y'all got
a same dad. Trust me, you are more of your
(13:04):
mother than you are your father. I'll always believe that.
I don't care. You lived in her belly for nine months. Yes,
he helped create you, but you were bonded to your
mother for nine months. You were held by your mother
immediately after birth. You're a breastfait. Whether you're breastfed or not,
you bond skin to skin. So she's more of her
(13:26):
mother than your father. You're more of your mother than
y'all father. You understand. So sit down and talk to her,
you say, hey, what is it? Or you can just
start the conversation like that. What is it? What is
it about me that you hate? Why do you hate me?
Why do you dislike me? What is wrong? What did
I do to you? Why do you snitch on me?
(13:48):
Why do you think you're so different? What is the
problem with us? What is the underlying issue? Does it
have anything to do with our dad?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
You know?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Give her a chance to talk. Also, things may get
a little heated. I know, y'all better not put your
hands on each other, but that's not what sisters do.
Even half sisters don't suppose to do that. Okay, have
a conversation. Go to your other sisters, encourage them to
talk to her. Y'all don't have to fight fire with fire.
Let hollo ass beat the fire, put that shut out,
(14:16):
extinguish that shit. And if it doesn't work, even after
a sensible, civilized conversation, then fall back, I would say,
and let her come around. Don't treat her in no
different way. You just learn how to deal with it
with a long and destphone. Deal with her at a distance.
Love your sister from a distance. Okay, so check back
(14:36):
in with me, baby girl. That was a good one.
And she's so beautiful too. All right, we're gonna do
one more and we're gonna get out of here. Hold up,
hold up, I know this shit getting good, but listen
to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you
love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Moving on, Hey, jas, Okay, I'm gonna get right into it.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
Twenty six years old and I'm dating a guy.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
He's really nice.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
He's not one of the.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Typical cool guys at date. He actually is shit.
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Most of the guys you know, we tend to go after.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I tend to go after ain't shit, but.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Just one of her.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
He's doing pretty good either way. Anyways, he has a
three year old. I have no kids at all, and
he's real cool with his baby mother, and anybody else
will be great to not be going through baby mama drama.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But they a little too cool.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
They give their three year old, they.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Sit pictures down in front of her and give her
a choice of where she wants to go to different countries,
and she picks and they go as a family. And
I'm dating you, So it's kind of hard for me.
What should I do? How should I feel? I'm happy
that he's not having drama with his baby mother, but I.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Think that's a little bit much.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, so you cut that off and listen. I don't
even need you to finish. Girl, Leave that motherfucker alone.
Let's just what that is. Uh uh huh? This seme?
What the fuck this look like? Over this?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Please? What you date them? Is he your boyfriend? Because
to be honest with you, oh yeah, I'm coming with
y'all too. The fuck, I ain't never been to Somaliah.
I ain't never been a Saint Lucia. I never been
to Arabia. The fuck. Like, no, put some pictures in
front of me, motherfucker, and I'm going that sounds like
some Will Smith Jada Pinka. Shit, damn, what is this?
(16:18):
Because you know Will Smith has an older son right
before Jada. His name is Trey. Now. Will was married
to his mother before. Look the Baltimore was coming out
of me. Will was married to this woman before. Okay,
and I just watched a little snippet of Red Table
Talk where she actually came on. I think her name
(16:39):
is Lisa. I do not want to screw this woman's
name up. I think his first wife's name was Lisa.
She comes on the show and Jada says, oh, they
take trips together and everything like I did to go
out the country together. And then so Lisa said, you know,
you're gonna have to clear this up, right, Like, No,
that's your husband. Yes, he was mine before, but he's
your husband. You know you said stuff like that, You're
(17:00):
gonna have to clear it up. No, we don't just
go on trips because we're you know, like we fucking around,
nothing like that. No, I think they had some type
of like their business partners or something like that. But
either way, I don't care. Jada is so secure in
herself because she ain't really She don't give a damn
by no damn Willie, so she don't care. Right, she
got a few entanglements of her own still going on
(17:22):
that we don't know about yet that she probably will
tell us, because she tell us every damn thing, even
shit that she shouldn't tell us. But that's neither here
or there. She doesn't mind will traveling the world with
his baby mother and the son don't even be there
because the sun is grown, So imagine that I wouldn't
even do that shit. As comfortable as I am with
(17:44):
my son's father, me and my son and his dad
will never go out the country. If I'm dating someone,
we'll never go out the country together unless he taking
his girl and I'm taking my man. There's no way.
I don't care. That's just the respect level that I
(18:05):
would have for my man and that he's supposed to
have for his woman. That's just what that is. Girl,
lead that nigga alone, especially if he ain't inviting you
and when they go out the country together, do he
call you? Do he talked to girl? Look? Fuck that
lead that, nigga, that's just what that is. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Now you cut your
story off. But I ain't even need to hear nothing else.
(18:26):
Fuck that lead that shit alone, because I don't have
time to girl. I ain't got time for that shit.
Did y'all hear that? That just pissed me off? I
want to know how serious you guys are. And when
you say dating, dating to me just means you're getting
to know a person. You know. You could be dating four, five,
six people, you know what I'm saying. You could be
(18:47):
dating a lot of people. You could be dating one
person if you choose a date one person. But are
you in a relationship. That's the difference, because if you're
actually in a relationship, that's unacceptable. I mean, come on,
come on, seriously, ask him? Would he allow the same?
If y'all are even on those terms, have you ever
bought this up to him before or is this your
(19:09):
first time even taking it outside of your relationship bringing
it to me? I think there needs to be a
communication level established. I don't think there is one? The
fuck and you say it like this is a regular
thing that they just be doing, and shit, that can't
be healthy. You can't like possibly be happy. The fuck?
I don't know. You said they're a little too cool?
(19:30):
Do you see any other signs of anything going on?
Like what the hell? And then and then hold up,
hold up, let me, I think this shit just clicked.
I'm gonna say this to y'all. I'm gonna leave on
this note. Is this nigger rich? And is that why
you fucking with him? Because he got money? Because if
he is frequently taking his family, because that's what it is, honey,
(19:52):
his family out the country, and the way he's presenting
the destination is setting pictures in front of a baby,
a three year old who don't even know how to
say country, probably much less spell it. The fuck this
nigga got some fucking money. What if she picked Egypt?
Is he was just gonna go over there because them
(20:13):
flights high as hell? Because that's where I'm going next week?
The hell do this nigga got money? And is that
the reason why you fucking with him? Because if that
is the reason why you fucking with him, girl, you
might as well, stay where you at if that's the reason. Shit,
if you really love him and you really value loyalty
and you value faithfulness, leave But if you just with
(20:35):
a nigga for his money, you can be cool with
your baby ba all day. Baby. Matter of fact, why
y'all go on the trip, send me on one so
I ain't even got to think about y'all me. I
ain't gotta go where y'all go. Just send me on
my own and give me another ticket so I can
take a nigga the fuck girl, get your life. But
chuck back in because I need to know, dude, this
nigga has somebody shit. And just like that, we're gonna
(20:57):
end this episode on that note. Y'all tuning every Wednesday
to Carefully Reckless, whether you're on your way to work
at the gym, sitting there doing paperwork, on your way
to take your babies to school. Whenever you want to
listen to my podcast, it's here and it's available, and
in my deepest paning voice, can't Fully Reckless is a
(22:27):
production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts
from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows,
Host
Jess Hilarious
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