May 10, 2023 • 23 mins
Hey y'all! Jess is fixing a kind of mess that I don't think we've heard before ..AND a fellow Carefully Reckless listener has a message for the ladies! TAP IN!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
in the Black Effects.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And just like that, we're back on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to yet another Canfully Reckless episode with your
girl Jess Hilarious. I'm gonna be fixing mess today. We're
gonna jump straight in. We got a voice memo. Y'all know,
I love these, I love these. I love these real
quick before we jump straight in. Listen, y'all know, y'all
girl got that third spot on Breakfast Club. Right, it's
not official, it's not official. It's actually an unofficial offer,
but it ain't official yet. But I'm claiming it and
(00:39):
I'm speaking it into existence because you're supposed to speak
of things as though they were and I got that
from the good Lord upstairs and from that good Bible.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So yeah, I need for y'all to go spam whoever
comments y'all feel like, y'all need to go spam Charlemagne
fucking be Et, fucking Breakfast Club, DJ Envy spam everybody.
Y'all need to spam. I don't give a fuck viacom
VH one. I heart spam everybody shit because that's my
third spot right there. Okay, that's my third spot. Now
(01:10):
we're gonna get it pop in here we go. First person, Hey.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Jess, So there's a situation with this guy that in
my delusional mind I kind of want to get with him,
but my realistic mind wants to just work with him
because he is a successful up and coming artist. It's
funny enough he was on Wilden Out he recent me.
(01:35):
But yeah, I've been listening to him for years and
for some reason. Actually, I know exactly why I caught
a crush on him, because when my grandma died from
cancer in January, I was listening to his music on
the road trip home and it just it gave me
all the vibes I needed, and so like I just
really started liking him. It was like he comforted me.
(01:56):
His music confident me, and uplifted me when I needed
it the most. And I started to see him in
a new light, especially like once I started watching interviews,
and I think that's when I like caught feelings or whatever,
just like like if I watch your interviews, I learn
more about you. If I listen to your podcasts and
watch your show, like I feel like I'm best friends
(02:18):
with you in London and Prince and I feel like
I'm I'm a consciousance with Rome because he's a little mean,
but I love all of you guys, and so I'm
just that type of person. So I get like, I
understand the concept of a parasocial relationship and like I
like someone they don't really know me, or they they
(02:40):
don't know me like that, and I understand boundaries, right,
But like with him, it's a little different because this artist,
like he interacted with me. I found out that he
liked to read, so I sent him my book and
he was like thank you. And you know, at the show,
he was pointing at me because he was there's only
white people voiced basically at the show, and he said
(03:00):
he's saying something about black women and pointed at me.
So like, I'm not being delusional like he was. Actually
I was the only one he could have been pointing
at basically. So we had that moment. And then when
I comment sometimes he'll like he likes a lot of comments,
but like he will actually respond to mine, and he
(03:21):
interacts with his fans in general. But you know, he
made me feel really special, and so I guess my
problem is I want to network with him and stay
top of mind without being annoying and without being thirsty
and honestly like I, like I said, like I had
this huge crush on him, and I'm like, I don't
(03:42):
want to like ruin things by just falling all over
myself and not knowing how to move. So I guess
my question would be, like, how do I build the
raport naturally without like overthinking it? And I know that
you'd understand because not only are you a successful woman
(04:02):
who was highly sought after, I'm sure you have your
fair share of interactions with fans of the opposite sex, right,
but you know what it's like to deal with a
guy who has clout and hos and like shit to do.
And you just strike me as like you're that bitch,
like you know how to move in any situation and
you just have like this energy, you know, And it's like,
(04:24):
I'm still building up my bad bitch energy.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I'm still very much like.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
You know, trying to find myself I guess, and my
confidence and my feminine power or whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Yeah, so Jess, please fix my mess.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Thank you for your time, and that I hope to
you hear from you soon. Oh and so the last
part of the situation too, I WoT to mention so
like it's like he was replying to my dms a
lot more at first, and then it's like it kind
of became like it was like my like I would
DM him a few times or like reply to his story,
(05:04):
like over the course of a few days, and then
he would reply with like a few words or like
an emoji, you know, just like it's just been like
that for the past few weeks. And I'm like falling
back now because I'm like, bro, I don't want to
be annoying. And I literally told him, like listen, like
the music is my life and you're one of my
influences and I want to connect with you and impress you.
(05:26):
And I just felt like radical honesty was the best
way to go.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
So I just admitted that. But I was like, yeah,
I didn't mean to be annoying, so like I unsent
some stuff. I'm sorry if that's weird.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And then so he hasn't really said much since then,
and I feel like embarrassed, Like I just like I said,
I just don't want to do too much.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Hold up, hold up, I noticed shit getting good, but
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, baby girl, I just want to say thank you
so much for writing me. And I did listen to
your first message, but I didn't put it in here
because that was the person knowing that was to me,
and I won't.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Let you know. I love you too.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And Prince in London and Rome, I'm sure will be
happy as hell to even hear that you even spoke
their names, because these people they crazy, girl. They feel
like don't nobody know them or remember them because we
only did one season of Reckless I said, shit, that
touched a lot of people. You don't know, motherfucker. That's
why Reckless Discussions Season two is coming back.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I just had to let y'all know that. Clap up,
clap but up.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Season two. Reckless Discussions is coming back, motherfucker. All right anyway,
so let me tell you this also. I know you
said you're still trying to find your bad bitch energy.
We're gonna move out of that. You know why, I
don't consider myself a bad bitch because you know what,
when we really define what a bad bitch is, it's
(06:45):
actually very harmful to the culture. And I don't want
to be of that definition anymore. You know what I mean,
And I'm growing into who I am as well. I'm
a thirty one year old black goddess and I'm a
very power woman. I am very motivated. I am ambitious
the amount of tenacity that I have for my loungevity.
(07:07):
You know, I know I'm going TI a lot. I'm
gonna going TI here with the words, but I mean
everything I say. We're gonna move out of that bad
bitch energy because we don't need to do that. I'm
gonna say to you, you're still trying to find your
goddess energy. What a goddess is, by definition, a woman
who is adored especially for her beauty and brains. That
(07:31):
is equivalent to what people think a bad bitch is.
That's what a bad bitch supposed to be. But the
fact that the word bad and the word bitch total
opposite of everything I just said to you, of everything
a goddess really and truly is, you don't want to
be that. So let's move out of that space. Let's
move out of that space, beautiful black woman. Now, I
(07:54):
know who you talking bad. I know, I know, I know,
I know I know who you're talking about out, and
yes he is. He's extremely talented. He's a newer member
on wild'n Out. He's been there for like the past
two or three seasons. I'm gonna say too, but yes,
I do know what you're talking about. And music is
(08:15):
also his life as well. He's actually really cool with me.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I like him too. He's cool. I mean, I
don't like him like you like him, but I like
him too.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know, he's definitely a strong influence on music and instruments.
If I think if I'm talking about the right person,
I think you're talking about the Hispanic fella. Yeah, and
he plays an instrument. Or am I putting too much
health here? I don't know, girl, I don't know. I
don't know, but yeah, he is fine or whatever. What
I want you to do is stop being scared. I
(08:44):
want you to find that confidence. Find that confidence. I
guess that was that bad bitch energy he was talking about.
Now find that confidence, okay, because trust me, it's some
bad bitches out here who ain't got confidence.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Their confidence is shit. That's why they are bad bitches.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Uh huh. They conform as low as they can go.
They conform to the lowest vibrations to be accepted by men.
And that's where you have, bad bitch. No, no, you're
not confident. That's why you unsent messages and all that shit.
That's why you got scared. When he minimized what he
was saying, his responses went from you know, lengthy to
(09:19):
a couple of words and an emoji here and there.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
That does not mean he does not like you.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That does not mean that he ain't paying attention to you,
or he can really just look at you the way
he's looking at every other woman in his DM. You
know why, because he's also a guy on the come up.
So if that comes a lot of women cloud chasers,
comes a lot of those bad bitches you was talking about.
(09:44):
Uh huh, the comes a lot of you know, ig
models and girls who just looking for either some dick,
some cloud or some money.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And it's probably so many of them in his DM
he hasn't really had time to decipher, or he probably
don't want to decipher because there's been a bad stigma
put on dms. A lot of love can be found
in DMS, just like it can be a lot of
love found in person. It can be money found in
dms like it can be a lot of money found
(10:13):
on the streets.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You know what I'm saying, dms are not a bad thing.
Look at it like this.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Social media ain't nothing but a dating app. That's how
motherfuckers link up, That's how motherfuckers go.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You know what I'm saying. It ain't safe, but what
dating app is safe?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
In fact, you're safe for meeting the motherfucker on Instagram
than you are on Christian mingle fuck because people can
disguise who they are. You understand what I'm saying. So
I'm not saying that you should give up on trying
to talk to him, but I think you should really
know what you want first, because you said you like him,
but you also business wise, you would like to connect
(10:50):
with him on a business level as well.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You have to figure out.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Which one is more important to you, though, because if
I were him reading your DMS, I wouldn't know whether
you like me or whether you wanted to do business.
Because you're very beautiful and he's handsome, you could be
a person that's just trying to use business to get
close to him.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
You got to think from both ends of.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
The spectrum, you know, got to think from his perspective
and then also from yours as well. I don't think
you should have undersent anything, because now that is your nervousness,
your anxiety, and your pride also getting it away because
you don't want to seem thirsty.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You don't want to see girl, what the hellever? It
don't matter. Women can be thirsty just like man.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Girl, I've been thirsty a few times in my day,
and I'm even still thirsty right now for somebody I
ain't never gonna have. But shit, it don't matter, girl,
lorenz Tatus who I've been thirsty after ever since I
was like fourteen years old. But whatever, he's married, and
I will never ever show my thirst to this marriage. Man.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
That's just disrespectful as fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
But I'm just saying, like, that's somebody who I've always
had a crush on, and shit like that. You seem
like you have a crush on this guy. And I
don't doubt at all that he was talking of you.
I don't doubt at all for one second that he
pointed at you and that audience.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I don't think you're delusional.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Stop giving me disclaimers, Stop putting out so many disclaimers.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
If you felt like that man was looking at you.
He was fucking looking at you.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
If you like that nigga jumping that goddamn DM, if
he say two the goddamn words back to.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You, you still bet not unsind shit.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Let him know, look I like you, and then if
it ever comes to a point where he ain't showing you,
you move on to the goddamn next. It's okay for
you to like somebody and them not like you back
the way that you like them. That's the world. That's
not rejection. That's literally life. It's life, and it's okay.
(12:42):
It's okay. It's okay for you to be pressed. It's
okay for you to be I'm talking to a guy
right now, right and he told me something that was
so cute. I'd never heard a man say this shit ever.
He had called me, blew my fucking phone up, and
I couldn't answer.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I was doing something. So when I finally called.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Him back, I said, damn, your pressed ass called me
four times in a row. He said, yeah, so what
I'm pressed? You dang right, I'm pressed. I'm pressed because
I'm gonna make you mine. If I ain't pressed, I'm
a fuck around and lose you. I like that if
I ain't pressed, I'm a fuck around and lose my spot.
I'm like, damn, that shit made my goddamn vagina so moist.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I was like, oh my god, like really late, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I'm saying, because I'm so sick of these stigmas and
these these these prideful ass people acting like they can't
express how they really fucking feel. He said, shit, I
guess you can call me or I'm gonna be a
pressed nigga because I want you girl, and to stop
playing with me what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Shit, No, that's not toxic. That's really a man letting
me know how to fuck he feel, and he don't
give a fuck with nobody else feel.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
He likes me, he wants me.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I don't know if this is the guy for me
or whatever, but I know I like that. That's different.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Nobody has ever said that to me before. Nobody has
ever you know what I mean. And it's something so simple. Now,
he didn't buy me no bag. He didn't say oh girl, yeah,
let me take you out the dinner and alledge. I
mean he already did that. But it's like the small
things that matters, you know, because he's not trying to
fit in with the society and what is accepted and
(14:26):
what is not accepted, you know, and what is frowned
upon or what the other niggas ain't gonna like or
what niggas don't usually do and all of that. That's
why it ain't no real relationships. It's hardly any real
relationships that we see because everybody got pride and everybody
ain't pressed, and everybody don't you know. And I ain't
trying to look like no clown and I ain't trying
(14:48):
to that's the men talking.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I ain't trying.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I ain't no clan, I ain't chasing no bitch, and
no the only thing I chase is money and then women.
I don't need a nigga for shit, and I don't
want cut it the fuck out, got it the fuck out.
Everybody wants to be loved everybody. I don't care what
nobody say. Everybody wants that person. I don't give a
(15:10):
fuck everybody. But my advice to you is just that
don't unsend no messages. Re send that guy that goddamn message,
let him know you like him, because he probably didn't
even fucking see it and then also imagine how many
goddamn dms he getting and he just getting tired of
looking at him. So but he don't want to be rude,
(15:32):
so he responds, and he probably responds just like, you know,
just just so he won't leave nobody on sin or red,
just you know, out of generosity.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But I think a clothes mouth don't get fed.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
And even sometimes rejection, even if you do get rejected,
say you hit him up and you be honest with him,
and you just say, I'm not really looking for anything
right now. Or he may have a fucking girlfriend, or
the nigga may be gay. Girl, you up, you all
in your head, psyching yourself out. You don't even know,
you don't even know. Or he might just like you,
he might start talking to you.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You never know.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But don't be scared, because I'd rather say I tried
and failed than to say I was too scared to
try it all.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Boom. I love you. Check back in with me, girl.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Moving on.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Hey, Jess, I do not need you to fix my mess,
because I don't have one.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
My life is amazing. But I just wanted to.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Drop this for you and all the beautiful young women
that I hear talking on your show that you know
you want a health that you have advice for. I'm
fifty two and I didn't get all the way up
to this big age. But all picking up a few
things and life and love is not meant to be
a struggle. We have glamorized this sense of struggle love
(16:55):
where you forgive him and taken back from cheating and
taking back from the outside baby, and all of this
is be engaged for five years why he won't marry me?
Then you win and you get him, and you have
to keep fighting and keep doing And no, that's not
what real love is.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
And you don't have to do that.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
When a man wants you, he wants you, and you
don't have to lower yourself to just be competing all
the time for him. So basically what I'm saying is
we have this thing about where relationships are work, yes,
but they're not the hardest work ever.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
They're not like.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Working in a coal mine where you get all dirty
and you might die.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Of black lung disease.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
It's like working out where it's good for you and
it makes you stronger and it makes you a better person.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
That's the type of work that.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Real relationships, real love should be. So I just want
to encourage you young women. Don't settle for anything. Don't
just settle for the mess. And I don't mean like
having these high ass, ridiculous ass standards about how much
money he's got a maid, what kind of mansion, what
kind of may.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Bok and all this stuff.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
No standards about what kind of quality man you want,
loves God, loves.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
His mom, takes care of his kids, has.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
A sense of purpose, wants to be a good man,
a father, a husband. That's what you want, okay. And
I'm giving you this because I wish somebody had given
it to me and I hadn't wasted so much time.
But if you are wondering if a man cares about you,
he doesn't. Any man that cares about you lets you know,
(18:35):
and it is obvious to you and the world. There
are no mixed messages. The message is he don't like
you like that. So, like Maya Angelo often quoted, when
people show you who they are, believe them. Stop wasting
your time trying to.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Make people better than they even.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Want to be. I love you young ladies. God bless
you and may you find you're happy. Oh and I
meant to say this. I don't mind telling you I'm
fifty two because I don't look it. So Also, I
just got married last year. I got my degree in
twenty ten when I was thirty nine going on forty,
(19:14):
and at the end of this year I will be
going back for a master's in data analytics.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
And also, as of Saturday.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
I just crossed Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated through my
local alumni chapter. And I'm saying all that to say
this as well. Stop setting timelines and acting like thirty
thirty five forty is the end of your life. As
long as you have breath in your body, you can
keep going and accomplish whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (19:43):
So sisters, never give up.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Ever you can be, have and do whatever you see
it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
It will be for yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Love you, Oh my god, I love you to miss woman. Listen,
and now I hope all of y'all listening to that,
because look I was and I am speechless, and that
brings me to the end of this.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Oh my god, that was amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Look she said, I ain't got no mess, baby, I'm
fifty two, and I ain't get fifty two without picking
a couple things up. And I'm gonna let y'all know
what I picked up, and that you can. I'm gonna
drop it right here. You can pick it up if
you want, or you can step over it. But somebody
else gonna pick it up that needed. And like she said,
she wished that somebody would have dropped these jewels and
told her, if you are wondering, if you have to wonder,
(20:31):
if you're wondering whether or not a man cares about you,
he don't, because why are you wondering, They're gonna show.
They're gonna tell you. They're gonna prove it. It's in
their actions. It's in their words, it's in their mannerysms.
It's in the movements that they make. It's in their
head nods. It's in them kisses that he give you.
It's in that hug, it's in that dick you ride.
(20:52):
It's in everything, everything from the flowers he gets you,
to the way he opened your door, to that good
morning text to the good night all of that you
should get and deserve all that you should and vice versa. Men,
if you gotta wonder if a woman really really love
you or not.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
She don't, she don't move on because it's somebody else
that will.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
And I love y'all so much. You're beautiful people. You're
beautiful Black women and men. You are beautiful white women
and men, and your beautiful others. I mean, because there's
so many of them, you know what, I'm gonna take
that back, because I don't need the Chinese motherfuckers coming out.
Just you did not say, you didn't say you love
us on the air, Okay, I love y'all too. Then
I the Spanish motherfucker. Oh the why you didn't say
you love us? So I'm like, you know I do,
(21:37):
or you know you're the Italian motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I'm sorry. I love all of y'all answers all right,
and just like that, we done, and I see y'all
next week. Peace.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Our list is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
in the Black Effects.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And just like that, we're back on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to yet another Canfully Reckless episode with your
girl Jess Hilarious. I'm gonna be fixing mess today. We're
gonna jump straight in. We got a voice memo. Y'all know,
I love these, I love these. I love these real
quick before we jump straight in. Listen, y'all know, y'all
girl got that third spot on Breakfast Club. Right, it's
not official, it's not official. It's actually an unofficial offer,
but it ain't official yet. But I'm claiming it and
(00:39):
I'm speaking it into existence because you're supposed to speak
of things as though they were and I got that
from the good Lord upstairs and from that good Bible.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So yeah, I need for y'all to go spam whoever
comments y'all feel like, y'all need to go spam Charlemagne
fucking be Et, fucking Breakfast Club, DJ Envy spam everybody.
Y'all need to spam. I don't give a fuck viacom
VH one. I heart spam everybody shit because that's my
third spot right there. Okay, that's my third spot. Now
(01:10):
we're gonna get it pop in here we go. First person, Hey.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Jess, So there's a situation with this guy that in
my delusional mind I kind of want to get with him,
but my realistic mind wants to just work with him
because he is a successful up and coming artist. It's
funny enough he was on Wilden Out he recent me.
(01:35):
But yeah, I've been listening to him for years and
for some reason. Actually, I know exactly why I caught
a crush on him, because when my grandma died from
cancer in January, I was listening to his music on
the road trip home and it just it gave me
all the vibes I needed, and so like I just
really started liking him. It was like he comforted me.
(01:56):
His music confident me, and uplifted me when I needed
it the most. And I started to see him in
a new light, especially like once I started watching interviews,
and I think that's when I like caught feelings or whatever,
just like like if I watch your interviews, I learn
more about you. If I listen to your podcasts and
watch your show, like I feel like I'm best friends
(02:18):
with you in London and Prince and I feel like
I'm I'm a consciousance with Rome because he's a little mean,
but I love all of you guys, and so I'm
just that type of person. So I get like, I
understand the concept of a parasocial relationship and like I
like someone they don't really know me, or they they
(02:40):
don't know me like that, and I understand boundaries, right,
But like with him, it's a little different because this artist,
like he interacted with me. I found out that he
liked to read, so I sent him my book and
he was like thank you. And you know, at the show,
he was pointing at me because he was there's only
white people voiced basically at the show, and he said
(03:00):
he's saying something about black women and pointed at me.
So like, I'm not being delusional like he was. Actually
I was the only one he could have been pointing
at basically. So we had that moment. And then when
I comment sometimes he'll like he likes a lot of comments,
but like he will actually respond to mine, and he
(03:21):
interacts with his fans in general. But you know, he
made me feel really special, and so I guess my
problem is I want to network with him and stay
top of mind without being annoying and without being thirsty
and honestly like I, like I said, like I had
this huge crush on him, and I'm like, I don't
(03:42):
want to like ruin things by just falling all over
myself and not knowing how to move. So I guess
my question would be, like, how do I build the
raport naturally without like overthinking it? And I know that
you'd understand because not only are you a successful woman
(04:02):
who was highly sought after, I'm sure you have your
fair share of interactions with fans of the opposite sex, right,
but you know what it's like to deal with a
guy who has clout and hos and like shit to do.
And you just strike me as like you're that bitch,
like you know how to move in any situation and
you just have like this energy, you know, And it's like,
(04:24):
I'm still building up my bad bitch energy.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
I'm still very much like.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
You know, trying to find myself I guess, and my
confidence and my feminine power or whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Yeah, so Jess, please fix my mess.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Thank you for your time, and that I hope to
you hear from you soon. Oh and so the last
part of the situation too, I WoT to mention so
like it's like he was replying to my dms a
lot more at first, and then it's like it kind
of became like it was like my like I would
DM him a few times or like reply to his story,
(05:04):
like over the course of a few days, and then
he would reply with like a few words or like
an emoji, you know, just like it's just been like
that for the past few weeks. And I'm like falling
back now because I'm like, bro, I don't want to
be annoying. And I literally told him, like listen, like
the music is my life and you're one of my
influences and I want to connect with you and impress you.
(05:26):
And I just felt like radical honesty was the best
way to go.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
So I just admitted that. But I was like, yeah,
I didn't mean to be annoying, so like I unsent
some stuff. I'm sorry if that's weird.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And then so he hasn't really said much since then,
and I feel like embarrassed, Like I just like I said,
I just don't want to do too much.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Hold up, hold up, I noticed shit getting good, but
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, baby girl, I just want to say thank you
so much for writing me. And I did listen to
your first message, but I didn't put it in here
because that was the person knowing that was to me,
and I won't.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Let you know. I love you too.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And Prince in London and Rome, I'm sure will be
happy as hell to even hear that you even spoke
their names, because these people they crazy, girl. They feel
like don't nobody know them or remember them because we
only did one season of Reckless I said, shit, that
touched a lot of people. You don't know, motherfucker. That's
why Reckless Discussions Season two is coming back.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I just had to let y'all know that. Clap up,
clap but up.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Season two. Reckless Discussions is coming back, motherfucker. All right anyway,
so let me tell you this also. I know you
said you're still trying to find your bad bitch energy.
We're gonna move out of that. You know why, I
don't consider myself a bad bitch because you know what,
when we really define what a bad bitch is, it's
(06:45):
actually very harmful to the culture. And I don't want
to be of that definition anymore. You know what I mean,
And I'm growing into who I am as well. I'm
a thirty one year old black goddess and I'm a
very power woman. I am very motivated. I am ambitious
the amount of tenacity that I have for my loungevity.
(07:07):
You know, I know I'm going TI a lot. I'm
gonna going TI here with the words, but I mean
everything I say. We're gonna move out of that bad
bitch energy because we don't need to do that. I'm
gonna say to you, you're still trying to find your
goddess energy. What a goddess is, by definition, a woman
who is adored especially for her beauty and brains. That
(07:31):
is equivalent to what people think a bad bitch is.
That's what a bad bitch supposed to be. But the
fact that the word bad and the word bitch total
opposite of everything I just said to you, of everything
a goddess really and truly is, you don't want to
be that. So let's move out of that space. Let's
move out of that space, beautiful black woman. Now, I
(07:54):
know who you talking bad. I know, I know, I know,
I know I know who you're talking about out, and
yes he is. He's extremely talented. He's a newer member
on wild'n Out. He's been there for like the past
two or three seasons. I'm gonna say too, but yes,
I do know what you're talking about. And music is
(08:15):
also his life as well. He's actually really cool with me.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I like him too. He's cool. I mean, I
don't like him like you like him, but I like
him too.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know, he's definitely a strong influence on music and instruments.
If I think if I'm talking about the right person,
I think you're talking about the Hispanic fella. Yeah, and
he plays an instrument. Or am I putting too much
health here? I don't know, girl, I don't know. I
don't know, but yeah, he is fine or whatever. What
I want you to do is stop being scared. I
(08:44):
want you to find that confidence. Find that confidence. I
guess that was that bad bitch energy he was talking about.
Now find that confidence, okay, because trust me, it's some
bad bitches out here who ain't got confidence.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Their confidence is shit. That's why they are bad bitches.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Uh huh. They conform as low as they can go.
They conform to the lowest vibrations to be accepted by men.
And that's where you have, bad bitch. No, no, you're
not confident. That's why you unsent messages and all that shit.
That's why you got scared. When he minimized what he
was saying, his responses went from you know, lengthy to
(09:19):
a couple of words and an emoji here and there.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
That does not mean he does not like you.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That does not mean that he ain't paying attention to you,
or he can really just look at you the way
he's looking at every other woman in his DM. You
know why, because he's also a guy on the come up.
So if that comes a lot of women cloud chasers,
comes a lot of those bad bitches you was talking about.
(09:44):
Uh huh, the comes a lot of you know, ig
models and girls who just looking for either some dick,
some cloud or some money.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You know.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And it's probably so many of them in his DM
he hasn't really had time to decipher, or he probably
don't want to decipher because there's been a bad stigma
put on dms. A lot of love can be found
in DMS, just like it can be a lot of
love found in person. It can be money found in
dms like it can be a lot of money found
(10:13):
on the streets.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
You know what I'm saying, dms are not a bad thing.
Look at it like this.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Social media ain't nothing but a dating app. That's how
motherfuckers link up, That's how motherfuckers go.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
You know what I'm saying. It ain't safe, but what
dating app is safe?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
In fact, you're safe for meeting the motherfucker on Instagram
than you are on Christian mingle fuck because people can
disguise who they are. You understand what I'm saying. So
I'm not saying that you should give up on trying
to talk to him, but I think you should really
know what you want first, because you said you like him,
but you also business wise, you would like to connect
(10:50):
with him on a business level as well.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You have to figure out.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Which one is more important to you, though, because if
I were him reading your DMS, I wouldn't know whether
you like me or whether you wanted to do business.
Because you're very beautiful and he's handsome, you could be
a person that's just trying to use business to get
close to him.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
You got to think from both ends of.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
The spectrum, you know, got to think from his perspective
and then also from yours as well. I don't think
you should have undersent anything, because now that is your nervousness,
your anxiety, and your pride also getting it away because
you don't want to seem thirsty.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You don't want to see girl, what the hellever? It
don't matter. Women can be thirsty just like man.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Girl, I've been thirsty a few times in my day,
and I'm even still thirsty right now for somebody I
ain't never gonna have. But shit, it don't matter, girl,
lorenz Tatus who I've been thirsty after ever since I
was like fourteen years old. But whatever, he's married, and
I will never ever show my thirst to this marriage. Man.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
That's just disrespectful as fuck.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
But I'm just saying, like, that's somebody who I've always
had a crush on, and shit like that. You seem
like you have a crush on this guy. And I
don't doubt at all that he was talking of you.
I don't doubt at all for one second that he
pointed at you and that audience.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
I don't think you're delusional.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Stop giving me disclaimers, Stop putting out so many disclaimers.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
If you felt like that man was looking at you.
He was fucking looking at you.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
If you like that nigga jumping that goddamn DM, if
he say two the goddamn words back to.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You, you still bet not unsind shit.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Let him know, look I like you, and then if
it ever comes to a point where he ain't showing you,
you move on to the goddamn next. It's okay for
you to like somebody and them not like you back
the way that you like them. That's the world. That's
not rejection. That's literally life. It's life, and it's okay.
(12:42):
It's okay. It's okay for you to be pressed. It's
okay for you to be I'm talking to a guy
right now, right and he told me something that was
so cute. I'd never heard a man say this shit ever.
He had called me, blew my fucking phone up, and
I couldn't answer.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I was doing something. So when I finally called.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Him back, I said, damn, your pressed ass called me
four times in a row. He said, yeah, so what
I'm pressed? You dang right, I'm pressed. I'm pressed because
I'm gonna make you mine. If I ain't pressed, I'm
a fuck around and lose you. I like that if
I ain't pressed, I'm a fuck around and lose my spot.
I'm like, damn, that shit made my goddamn vagina so moist.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I was like, oh my god, like really late, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I'm saying, because I'm so sick of these stigmas and
these these these prideful ass people acting like they can't
express how they really fucking feel. He said, shit, I
guess you can call me or I'm gonna be a
pressed nigga because I want you girl, and to stop
playing with me what she was doing.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Shit, No, that's not toxic. That's really a man letting
me know how to fuck he feel, and he don't
give a fuck with nobody else feel.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
He likes me, he wants me.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I don't know if this is the guy for me
or whatever, but I know I like that. That's different.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Nobody has ever said that to me before. Nobody has
ever you know what I mean. And it's something so simple. Now,
he didn't buy me no bag. He didn't say oh girl, yeah,
let me take you out the dinner and alledge. I
mean he already did that. But it's like the small
things that matters, you know, because he's not trying to
fit in with the society and what is accepted and
(14:26):
what is not accepted, you know, and what is frowned
upon or what the other niggas ain't gonna like or
what niggas don't usually do and all of that. That's
why it ain't no real relationships. It's hardly any real
relationships that we see because everybody got pride and everybody
ain't pressed, and everybody don't you know. And I ain't
trying to look like no clown and I ain't trying
(14:48):
to that's the men talking.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
I ain't trying.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I ain't no clan, I ain't chasing no bitch, and
no the only thing I chase is money and then women.
I don't need a nigga for shit, and I don't
want cut it the fuck out, got it the fuck out.
Everybody wants to be loved everybody. I don't care what
nobody say. Everybody wants that person. I don't give a
(15:10):
fuck everybody. But my advice to you is just that
don't unsend no messages. Re send that guy that goddamn message,
let him know you like him, because he probably didn't
even fucking see it and then also imagine how many
goddamn dms he getting and he just getting tired of
looking at him. So but he don't want to be rude,
(15:32):
so he responds, and he probably responds just like, you know,
just just so he won't leave nobody on sin or red,
just you know, out of generosity.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
But I think a clothes mouth don't get fed.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
And even sometimes rejection, even if you do get rejected,
say you hit him up and you be honest with him,
and you just say, I'm not really looking for anything
right now. Or he may have a fucking girlfriend, or
the nigga may be gay. Girl, you up, you all
in your head, psyching yourself out. You don't even know,
you don't even know. Or he might just like you,
he might start talking to you.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You never know.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But don't be scared, because I'd rather say I tried
and failed than to say I was too scared to
try it all.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Boom. I love you. Check back in with me, girl.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Moving on.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Hey, Jess, I do not need you to fix my mess,
because I don't have one.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
My life is amazing. But I just wanted to.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Drop this for you and all the beautiful young women
that I hear talking on your show that you know
you want a health that you have advice for. I'm
fifty two and I didn't get all the way up
to this big age. But all picking up a few
things and life and love is not meant to be
a struggle. We have glamorized this sense of struggle love
(16:55):
where you forgive him and taken back from cheating and
taking back from the outside baby, and all of this
is be engaged for five years why he won't marry me?
Then you win and you get him, and you have
to keep fighting and keep doing And no, that's not
what real love is.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
And you don't have to do that.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
When a man wants you, he wants you, and you
don't have to lower yourself to just be competing all
the time for him. So basically what I'm saying is
we have this thing about where relationships are work, yes,
but they're not the hardest work ever.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
They're not like.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
Working in a coal mine where you get all dirty
and you might die.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Of black lung disease.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
It's like working out where it's good for you and
it makes you stronger and it makes you a better person.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
That's the type of work that.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
Real relationships, real love should be. So I just want
to encourage you young women. Don't settle for anything. Don't
just settle for the mess. And I don't mean like
having these high ass, ridiculous ass standards about how much
money he's got a maid, what kind of mansion, what
kind of may.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Bok and all this stuff.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
No standards about what kind of quality man you want,
loves God, loves.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
His mom, takes care of his kids, has.
Speaker 5 (18:12):
A sense of purpose, wants to be a good man,
a father, a husband. That's what you want, okay. And
I'm giving you this because I wish somebody had given
it to me and I hadn't wasted so much time.
But if you are wondering if a man cares about you,
he doesn't. Any man that cares about you lets you know,
(18:35):
and it is obvious to you and the world. There
are no mixed messages. The message is he don't like
you like that. So, like Maya Angelo often quoted, when
people show you who they are, believe them. Stop wasting
your time trying to.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
Make people better than they even.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Want to be. I love you young ladies. God bless
you and may you find you're happy. Oh and I
meant to say this. I don't mind telling you I'm
fifty two because I don't look it. So Also, I
just got married last year. I got my degree in
twenty ten when I was thirty nine going on forty,
(19:14):
and at the end of this year I will be
going back for a master's in data analytics.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
And also, as of Saturday.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
I just crossed Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated through my
local alumni chapter. And I'm saying all that to say
this as well. Stop setting timelines and acting like thirty
thirty five forty is the end of your life. As
long as you have breath in your body, you can
keep going and accomplish whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (19:43):
So sisters, never give up.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
Ever you can be, have and do whatever you see
it for yourself.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
It will be for yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Love you, Oh my god, I love you to miss woman. Listen,
and now I hope all of y'all listening to that,
because look I was and I am speechless, and that
brings me to the end of this.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Oh my god, that was amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Look she said, I ain't got no mess, baby, I'm
fifty two, and I ain't get fifty two without picking
a couple things up. And I'm gonna let y'all know
what I picked up, and that you can. I'm gonna
drop it right here. You can pick it up if
you want, or you can step over it. But somebody
else gonna pick it up that needed. And like she said,
she wished that somebody would have dropped these jewels and
told her, if you are wondering, if you have to wonder,
(20:31):
if you're wondering whether or not a man cares about you,
he don't, because why are you wondering, They're gonna show.
They're gonna tell you. They're gonna prove it. It's in
their actions. It's in their words, it's in their mannerysms.
It's in the movements that they make. It's in their
head nods. It's in them kisses that he give you.
It's in that hug, it's in that dick you ride.
(20:52):
It's in everything, everything from the flowers he gets you,
to the way he opened your door, to that good
morning text to the good night all of that you
should get and deserve all that you should and vice versa. Men,
if you gotta wonder if a woman really really love
you or not.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
She don't, she don't move on because it's somebody else
that will.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
And I love y'all so much. You're beautiful people. You're
beautiful Black women and men. You are beautiful white women
and men, and your beautiful others. I mean, because there's
so many of them, you know what, I'm gonna take
that back, because I don't need the Chinese motherfuckers coming out.
Just you did not say, you didn't say you love
us on the air, Okay, I love y'all too. Then
I the Spanish motherfucker. Oh the why you didn't say
you love us? So I'm like, you know I do,
(21:37):
or you know you're the Italian motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I'm sorry. I love all of y'all answers all right,
and just like that, we done, and I see y'all
next week. Peace.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I can't believe.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Our list is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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