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March 1, 2023 21 mins

Hey y'all! This season is almost about to wrap, but Jess it still out here cleaning up your mess. TAP IN to hear this week's stories. 

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect. Oh shit, we wanna air. Welcome
back to yet another actually the second to last episode

(00:20):
of season two's Carefully Reckless. What's Your Girl? Just hilarious.
Now we're gonna jump right into just fix My Mess.
As I told y'all, I was just a renewed for
a season three, So I ain't going nowhere. I'm gonna
be right here with y'all, and I'm going to keep
on fixing y'all mess until y'all ain't got no more
mess to fix. All right, We're gonna jump right in.
We do not have voice memos again this week, because

(00:41):
I said, these people is these these females and these males,
they're catching on, y'all voice, y'all, they're catching on. So
y'all might have to go back to just strictly typing
unless you don't care. Here we go. I've been raising
my ex wife's daughter for over fifteen years. She's nineteen now.
She doesn't know that I'm not her real father, and
up until recently, I haven't had any problem doing so.

(01:03):
But her mother and her family all of a sudden
wants to invade and come in between me and my
daughter when they didn't care or help me raise her
in the first place. I want custody of her and
my other children after the divorce. I'm stuck going through
this inside battle of whether or not I should inform
her that I'm not her real father, or should I
just keep it quiet, because lately she's been interacting with

(01:26):
her mother and that side of the family more and
she's acting different. So that's all he said. All right,
all right, now, listen, I just want to first and
foremost say thank you, brother for submitting your story. You
are a man, and I often say men do not
open up and they do not open up to women.
So I want to first and foremost recognize you for

(01:49):
being vulnerable enough to give me this story, you know,
and to let me hear your story or whatever, because
I know this is not something that you would probably
just go around telling people, you know, whether that be
your friends, your barber, your pastor whoever you confide and
whatever guy you can fide. And I thank you for
coming to me. Okay, now, this is not your biological daughter,

(02:10):
but you have raised her for fifteen years. You met
her mother and she was four when you met her mother,
you married her mom, and you took her on as
one of your children, and you have other children biologically
with her mother as well. Who was your wife? Who
is now your ex wife? All right now, from what
I just read, it seems like you are currently in
the middle of the divorce. Let me ask you a
couple of questions, because you gave me a short breath,

(02:33):
you got straight to the point. But I just have
a little bit of questions and I would like for
you to follow up with me in this. So what
first of all caused you to to split? If you
don't mind me asking that, if it has nothing to
do with you know, your daughter you feel like or
you know, if it has nothing to do with why
you think your ex wife is acting this way, you know,

(02:55):
putting stuff in your daughter's head, because that's what could
be going on. If you feel like the re and
that you guys end it doesn't have anything to do
with how your daughter is acting now or what your
wife could have your ex wife could have told her,
then we don't have to go into it. But why
what ended you? Guys? Also, do you think that her
mother has reconvened not reconciled, but I mean reconvene, like

(03:17):
just reach out with her ex and this is your
daughter's biological father. Do you think that there has been
some conversation between your ex wife and him that what
prompt him to want to meet his daughter or be
in his daughter's life. Or do you think that your
ex wife is just being bitter trying to take the

(03:38):
only child that's not biologically yours from you because she
knows that's a way to hurt you. You have to
think of all these things, you know, and then you
didn't quite ask me a question as it relates to advice,
But I think that you will want to know where
you go from here. It's gonna be hard getting custody
of your daughter because she's not by logically yours, and

(04:00):
we know how fucked up the court system can be
and unfair they can be when it comes to situations
like this. Unfortunately, she would have to sign her rights
over to you because you are not baby girl's real father,
you know, biological I don't want to say real father,
because you are indeed a real father to her. I

(04:21):
don't have a doubt about that in my mind. You're
sitting here telling me you want to get custody of her,
and you've raised her for fifteen for fifteen years when
nobody else did anything, and you stepped in and you
did that, and that little girl is always going to
love you for that. But I also can't ignore when
you said she is now acting funny. Now take into

(04:42):
account her age. She's nineteen. She's just seen her parents split.
You know, you two, you and her mother, you got split.
I don't know how nasty the divorce was. I don't
know how much she was exposed to. I don't know
if she saw the negative of it and didn't see
it in a positive light. You guys were together since
she was or you are all she knows, you know.
So I don't know if this divorce is playing a

(05:06):
big part in how she's acting. You know, maybe she
just wants you two together. Maybe people are putting things
in her head. She's been spending a lot of time
with her mom in that side, and and you know,
she may be even getting a little curious because she
may have heard someone say that, ain't your dad, that's
just your your mom's ex husband. You were already here

(05:28):
when she met your father. You know what I'm saying,
you were already here when she met you. Know your name.
I don't want to say your name. Well, actually don't
know it, but you know, I want to keep this
all anonymous. I think also another way to look at
her acting funny and you being a little up in
the air with telling her that you're not our real father,
her biological father, in her seeking whoever he is or whatever.

(05:52):
I think that you should look at it this way.
I watch a lot of paternity court and honey, and
that is not your life. I'm not trying to, you know,
and inflict anything on you or project what I have
seen on you, because I don't know your situation up
and down, back and forth, inside and out. I know
what you told me, But you have to leave room
for a child who never knew or never have been

(06:17):
close or had a close relationship with one of her
biological parents. You have to leave room for them to
want to do that, to grow up and actually want
to know who their real dad is, especially if someone
already put that bug in their ear that ain't your
real dad, so and so ain't your real dad. That's
going to open me up to you know, me speaking
as your daughter. That's going to open me up to, oh, well,

(06:39):
who is my real dad? And it's going to be
no love loss for my dad that has raised me,
the only dad that I've known. But I would like
to know where I come from. I would like to
know why I act this way sometimes and I don't
get it from my mother. I would like to know
why the other half of me is this way and

(07:00):
it's not like you, dad. Maybe she has questions that
she would like to ask this man, why haven't you
ever come for me? Why did you let another man
take on the role of my real father? Why did
you let another man raise me? But what happened? What
did I do? You know? Maybe she just has these questions.
She's nineteen, you know, so she is growing into a
young adult, and she is well entitled to know her

(07:26):
biological father. This may not be something that you want
to hear, and then, you know, it could be many
reasons why you don't even want her to go down
that road or why you don't you know, don't think
it's it's suitable for her to meet him or to
take him on as a dad or start a relationship
with him. You may know things about him. Let me
put her in danger, you know, You may know things

(07:49):
about him that that's not good for her, that you
don't want her to be exposed to. You may not
just want her to be let down again because this
man has done this shit to her before for a
fucking fourteen years. So I do understand why you're trying
to protect your baby girl. She is definitely entitled and
well within her right to know who her biological daddy is,

(08:10):
and that doesn't take anything from you. I think you
need to go and take your baby to lunch, and
you need to talk to her and try to get
inside of her head. You've been raising her for the
last fifteen years. You know her, you know her, you
know that's how you're able to see that she's acting funny.
Take her and sit her down and talk to her.
That's your daughter. She may not be yours biologically, but
you are her daddy. So I think that you should

(08:32):
talk to her without her mom. Without you know, she's
old enough to understand everything that you'll ask her, Ask
her what's going on, and get inside of her mind.
Let her know you'll always be there for her, but
let her know it is indeed her decision if she
wants to meet her real father. I think you should
be honest with her and tell her that, no, I
am not your biological father, but I raised you since

(08:56):
you were four. I cannot stop looking at you like
you're not mine. You are mine, but I'm willing to
share you with your biological dad if that's what you want,
Because at the end of the day, it's all about her.
Forget the wife or you know, forget her mom, forget
you know. This is about you and your baby and
whatever she wants, you have to support her in that.

(09:16):
So I want you to do that, and I want
you to answer those questions for me, write me back,
update me if you can, and if you want to.
Like I said, you're already doing something that you probably
don't usually do, and that's open up about your personal life.
You know so, and I totally commend you on raising
someone else's child as yours. Honestly, that's why a lot
of men don't get married to women with a lot

(09:38):
of kids, or even just one kid. My son's dad
don't even like dating women with children, as if he
ain't got eighty five of them. But sometimes that's just
the man's preference, and we have to respect that, just
like we have to respect a woman's preference, we have
to respect a man's preference as well. Talk to her,
talk to your baby. You seem like you want well,
you mean well, and you seem like you do well

(10:00):
by her. You do great by her. So I'm check
back in with me. Thank you. If you love me,
you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right
back moving on. Oh look, did she getting straight to
the point. Honey? She said, I need in baby daddy
got weird after I bossed up and got a tax company.
He's in the streets and was taking care of me.

(10:22):
Now I'm making my own bag and he even acting
funny with my son. Helped me with like thirty two
exclamation points. Okay, so girl, you gave me a little bit,
but I understand what you gave, but you could have
gave me a little bit more. Girl. I need to
figure girl, I'm gonna get your ass all right. So
you said your baby daddy got weird after you bossed

(10:43):
up and got your own company. You got a tax company. Okay, cool,
So for everybody who needs their taxes done. Damn, I
can't even put your business out there. I can't even
you know, help you grow your business, get you some clients,
because this is anonymous and I will not say your name. Okay, okay,
you have a tax company and your baby daddy is
in the streets on the other hand, so he is

(11:04):
doing his thing out there in the streets or whatever,
and he was taking care of you. But you bossed
up on him and you you went legit. You wanted
a legitimate business, and I guess he got tired of
you not needing him anymore, is what it sounds like,
because he wanted you to need him. Guys really like that.
They wanted to have a sense of power and not
saying want to control you. But maybe that's really what

(11:26):
it was about him. He wanted he wanted you to
need him for something. You have his child, so that's
an obligation right there. That's an attachment factor right there.
You guys have a baby and you said your son,
So your baby boy, he's not even doing anything for
him anymore because he's very spiteful and bitter at the
fact that you bossed up and now you don't need him.

(11:48):
I feel like you're leaving some shut out. I feel
like something is it that that ain't that ain't unless
he ain't in his right mind, he should want his
baby mama to boss up legitimately. That could motivate him
to get off there, or even to clean his money,
as they say, because you know how a nigga always
want to clean his money baby through somebody that's legit. However,
you ain't say all of that. You ain't say a

(12:08):
lot of shit, and I think you're keeping it away.
You asked me to help you. I don't know how
to help your ass. I mean, you ain't telling me nothing.
You ain't telling me nothing, and I know you ain't,
and I don't care. So I ain't gonna give you
no advice as of right now until you come back
and you let me know the real all right, you
let me know exactly what's going on. What did you
do to him? What did he do to you? What

(12:29):
do you think it is other than you bossing up?
Did you meet somebody? Did he find out that she
was sucking with somebody else? Did you go back to
an X? Did you something? Did you constantly put him
down when he was in the streets when you went
legit when you got your tax company, did you down
him because he was still in the streets? Did you
try to degrade him in any way because you said

(12:50):
he took care of you. He took care of you,
because if that happened, he could in return feel like,
oh bitch, I was saying, can you wasn't You weren't
shriving off the street money when it was taking of you?
You know what I'm saying. When you was living the
lavish lifestyle. I don't know how lavish it was, but
you said he took care of you. You didn't have
anything to say about it, or maybe you did as
something to say about it, but you ain't had that

(13:11):
much to say where you wanted me to stop because
you were being taken care of. Now you get your business,
and that was fuck me, tell me what happened, because
there's something you ain't saying, baby girl. And when you
do give me more clarity, I will help you fix
your mess up and down. Now we got a commercial,
and if you click off of this podcast, I swear
I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, moving on, I'm submitting

(13:35):
my story and I don't think anyone can fix this
mess at all. My kids. Dad is only top tier
when we are fucking period. He thinks he can just
get whatever he wants regarding our kids and disappear when
he wants, pay what he wants, get them when he wants,
throws court up in my face. He done been with
multiple stalker women, women that have threatened my kids, and
he continues to be a terror. I want nothing more

(13:58):
for us to be friends and raise our kids. He
needs to hear how dumb he's being. We used to
be able to co parent to a degree. Now it's
all bad. I really need a phone conversation to provide detail.
But we need Jesus and a public eye. Well, first
of all, you're gonna have to pick. You can't have
Jesus and a public eye all at the same time,
because it gotta be something private enough for you to

(14:20):
get this shit together behind closed doors and then bring
it to the forefront so y'all can be ready to
teach others who's going through this ship right now that
y'all going through. So you find Jesus first and then
a public eye in that order, is what I'm talking about.
But first we're gonna start with me trying to fix
your mess, all right, So in the beginning, that was
very interesting. I think I read a story like this

(14:41):
before you say no, you don't think nobody can fix
this at all. And listen, that tells me that it
is fresh and new because you wanted to just be
over with like a snap of a finger, and it
don't go like that. You and this man obviously have
been together for a long time. You guys not only
have one kid, you have kids. And what I mean
when I say fresh, I mean you guys are freshly done,

(15:04):
not just fresh meeting each other. I'm talking about y'all
can't seem to let each other go. And that's probably
where the women comes in. He's trying to use the
women as a distraction to get over you because you're
still fucking him. Like you said, he's only compliant when
we're fucking stop fucking him and stand on it and
stand by it. You know, feelings get all involved and shit,

(15:27):
and you probably a little bit more over him than
he is over you. So he gets upset every time
you go sleep with him, thinking that it's hope for
y'all to get back together. And when you shut it down,
he shut you down and the kids, which is not bad.
I'm not justifying it. Believe that pussy out of the equation. Girl,
you better wrap that snap and turt up. Get a

(15:48):
damn turtleneck for it. You don't need to be sleeping
with him. You know he hain't in his right mind. Shit,
he got bitches threatening your damn babies. All of that. Now,
I don't think that he would ever let me ask
you that. I don't even know, y'all, But do you
think he would let actually let a woman hurt you
guys children? You know your children. Do you think that

(16:11):
he would actually really do that? Or if this is
something just to get back at you? You know what
I'm saying, because I feel like he is very bitter
because and then I can't even say he better because
you're the one leading them on. I think I think
you don't know how strong that shit is in between
your legs. I really feel like you don't know. I
feel like you use him for sexual convenience and he
wants more, and I feel like you're done there, or

(16:32):
you use him for is sex. You just want him
to be a great daddy to your kids and a
great daddy in the bed every now and then, which
you can't have that, and expect for him to act
saying I need for you to cut all of that
shit out that you got going on. That's where it starts,
but on a more serious, serious series. And I was

(16:53):
serious about everything I say. I trust and believe. But
on a more serious, serious note, he needs to check
the women that he is bringing around the kids. I
wouldn't be okay with no other woman being around my children.
If you're threatening my children, you know that means he
doesn't have his children's best interest. And have you brought

(17:14):
this up to him? Have you guys talked about it?
Like like what is it? And then how is he
throwing court up in your face? Court? Court? Court? Like?
What is he threatening to take the children? As he
threatening to get joint custody? Is he threatening to take
you down to How does he threaten you with court?
I want to know that. And you said multiple stalker women?
So now are they stalking you? Are they stalking you

(17:35):
and the kids? Are they stalking him? I need to know.
I need to God damn no, And are you dating somebody?
I need to know that as well, because that also
will play a part in his bitterness as well, because
he may feel like, damn, how the fucking you just
feel like you can fuck me when you want? Then
you dating this person, and they're not supposed to be
just in complying over here. Just got it like he's
too deep in his feelings to separate Daddy from Zaddy.

(18:00):
I like that he's too in his feelings to separate
Daddy from Zaddy. Okay, And it's like you ain't helping it,
miss ma'am. And you know this man more than any
of these other women know this man, So I think
you know what you're doing. You just want to be
able to have your cake and eat it too, and
you're not ready to assess him when he has these

(18:21):
little temper tantrums and shit, because that's exactly what it is.
You said that he continues to be a terror and
you want nothing more than for you guys to be friends.
It sound like y'all need to come on co parenting
with me at Rome. That's what the hell is sound like.
It's sounding like that. So I need for when you
update me, miss ma'am, you need to let me know
where you are and how we can get you on
the show. You and him then if he's willing to

(18:43):
do so. Because you said you need a public eye, honey,
I'm gonna put you in front of a public eye.
All right, I'm gonna give you the public eye. I
just need for you to stop sleeping with him, especially
if you really, really really want that bond with him
outside of intimacy, if you really really want to look

(19:04):
up and be like me and Rome, we're really really
good friends. We will never stop being good friends. It
is what it is. It's always going to be that way.
If you really want that, you have to stop intimately
messing with him like you. You can't sleep with him bad,
you can't. Now. If that's what you want, then go
get your man, go get your baby daddy and make
them your man again. But if that ain't what you want,

(19:24):
that can't be what you end up getting when you
just want some sexual pleasures. Okay, all right, so write
me back and let me know. We've come to the
end of the second to last episode of season two
of Carefully Reckless with your Girl Jess hilarious and look,
I'll be right back. I'll be right back. So we
got the last episode next week and then I'm going

(19:44):
straight into season three. You know why, because I love
y'all so much and I found my niche with this thing.
I think I think I'm gonna think we're gonna be good,
but I think we're gonna be good. We're gonna be
all right. And with that being said in my deepest
pam Boys piece, Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio

(21:12):
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