April 26, 2023 • 20 mins
Hey y'all! Jess fixed 3 messes today! ....well, maybe only 2 because that last story still has us f*d up! Tap in!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
The Black Effects. Before we get into this episode, y'all,
let me tell you so. We had the first ever
Black Effect podcast festival, and y'all know, me and Charlamagne
(00:22):
hosted it, well technically me. Charlamagne was reading the cause
like he was hooked on phonicshaw And I was so
nervous because that was my first time ever doing that shit, right,
you know, and I'm too I'm not, you know, I'm
transparent enough to let y'all know that. I was very nervous.
But when I got there and like the just to
see how the crowd embraced me, yo, it was amazing.
I had so much fun. We had Porscha Williams, Robin Dixon,
(00:44):
Giselle Bryant, Michelle Williams, Mandy and Weezy. What the fuck? Listen? Listen, y'all.
I got the footage, some footage coming. Make sure you
visit the Can'tfully Reckless page. The girls from Horrible Decisions
They had my ass up there, walking them like dogs.
Mandy and licked my damn shoe. They's some freaky holes, okay, theys,
some freaky bitches I lovem'na have to go. I'm gonna
have to go on horrible decisions. I'm gonna have to
(01:06):
you it may be a good decision for me to
go on horrible decisions. I ain't gonna lie. I like
them girls, Man, Tam, Bam, and aj. It was so
many black creators up in the house. Shout out to
Black Effect y'all. That is not the only festival. We're
coming back doing this shit yearly. And yes, your girl
Just Hilarious will be hosting next year too. I mean
they don't know yet, but y'all gotta put y'all bidding.
Y'all gotta let them know. Just Larious needs to host
(01:28):
every Black Effect podcast festivals. And just like that, we're
back on the air. Might check once you want two
A real bitch spent the black. What is you gonna do?
(01:50):
You're gonna listen, Ain't you're gonna listen because we're back
with Just Fix My Mess. Another catholic, reckless episode coming
to you right now. We're gonna jump straight in and
this episode we got people writing me. God damn it,
y'all don't want to send in y'all voices. Now listen,
Like last season, I said, I'm gonna keep on saying it.
I will read, Yes, I will read it. Ain't like
I don't want to. I will read as long as
(02:11):
y'all sound smart enough, as long as y'all writing this
shit smart, okay, because I don't want to sound a
literate when I'm trying to help y'all fix y'all mess shit.
A lot of y'all need to get hooked throwing motherfucking
phonics before y'all try to send me some goddamn mess
all these long run on essay sentences. How's somebody gonna
write me a whole fucking Oh this this shit is juicy,
but it ain't not one punctuation mark in this motherfucker
(02:34):
Jesus Aret. Hey, Jess, I've been dealing with this situation
where my family has been treating my as a toddler. Okay,
she must admit herself. My family has been treating me
as a toddler, and I honestly can't stand it. I
may only be eighteen. Oh yeah, she was definitely talking
about herself. I may only be eighteen, but I don't
even get treated like an eighteen year old. Keep in mind,
(02:57):
I'm not even the youngest child. There are many kids
born after me. My family keeps talking about marriage, and
my ex's mom is convinced that I could possibly be pregnant.
But I'm going through college and I would like to
form my life in a way where if I were
to get pregnant, it would be at a time where
I could give my child everything or she needs as
(03:21):
a mother and be different. Girl. I don't want to
give up on my family, and I really value you
and your opinion. But how do I get my family
to stop treating me like I'm still in eighth grade
and trust me enough to make decisions for myself that
require simple common sense. I've prayed about it, but I
feel like I need another woman's perspective. I may not
(03:43):
be grown, but I deserve my credit where it's due.
I'm not still messing with my ex. I have value.
I know that's right, Boogie. I have moved on, but
I'm gonna have to break up with his mom at
this point. Ooh, okay, so you're still close with his mom. Okay.
First of all, I love that you reached out to me.
Being as young as you are, I know y'all can
(04:05):
have a lot of pride oh my god, and y'all
don't want nobody in y'all business. Although y'all put it
all a little Instagram and shit, I'm not putting you
with them. I'm just saying, y'all because you is one
of them, all right. But I absolutely love how you
are mature enough to reach out to me on this
platform and that you don't mind sharing your story because
there are other teenagers that I'm pretty sure feel this
way and get treated like a baby, and you know,
(04:27):
they actually want to grow up. I have one of
my friends. Her daughter is nineteen, and she will not
let this little girl grow up. She will not the
girl to my baby girl to moved out. Well that's
her baby girl too, but she's my baby girl too.
She has moved out of her mom's house and everything,
you know, and the mom just still comes over her house.
And this is one of my friends. So I try
(04:50):
to talk to her all the time, like, yo, let
that girl grow up. Let her grow up. She has
a job, she's making her own money, she got her
own car, she's working. He's not in college, but she
is an entrepreneur. She has her own business. And these
are all qualities that her mom instilled in her, but
she's just not ready to see her grow up. Also,
I'm gonna give you this advice coming from a mother
(05:13):
to someone that's not a mother yet. I have an
eleven year old, okay, and I know it's gonna be
hard for me to just see him leave the nest.
He's my only child, and you know, I'm a boy mom,
and he is a mama's boy. You know what I'm saying.
And it's hard. It's hard. My dad babied me until
(05:34):
I was until I got pregnant with my son. That's
when I officially was not a baby in my dad's
eyes anymore. And that was at twenty years old. I
got pregnant at twenty. You know, my dad did not
want me to move out. My dad actually got upset
with my mom because she let me move out. She
didn't fight me on it. Look, that's enough about my
father child, because I can go all day on being
a daddy's girl and just you know, growing up like that.
(05:56):
Back to you, now, you're not gonna like this pool.
But you are only eighteen. No, you're not legally grown.
You are a young lady, but you're not a I
can't even say you're not a one. I want to
say that you're not a woman yet, babe, You're not
not just yet. I would say twenty one, twenty one,
(06:17):
You got another three years until you can go buy
some drinks. You got another three years until you can
even get in a goddamn club. Girl. You got three years,
three years until your parents are gonna say that you
word grown, okay, And I want to say this, Hey,
at least you still got your parents. You know, a
lot of eighteen year olds are out here having to
(06:39):
fend for themselves and are wishing to have parents that
could still treat them like a baby. You know, I
love that, the fact that you're being nurtured. It's a
lot of shit going on out in this world, sex trafficking,
young women and children are being targeted by older men,
you know what I'm saying, and out the country both
it used to be outside the country more. But what
(07:02):
social media has done, which can sometimes be a gift
in the curse that social media, it has opened up
our eyes to see what is more publicized now, and
that is crime, a lot of fucking crime. You gotta
be careful. These men are praying on y'all. Young girls,
on these dating apps and on social media, and they're
watching what y'all post, y'all revealing y'all body parts, and
like not saying you, but I'm saying y'all because you
(07:23):
are eighteen, so you're a part of the you know,
the younger generation, you know, the millennials. I'd say, but
I want you to be more grateful for that than
upset about it, because there will be one day that
you look back and you're gonna be like, it wasn't
so bad. It wasn't so bad. They've done well with
(07:46):
you to this point. You know, they have done well
with you. You seem to be a great young lady,
and I'm gonna give that credit to your parents, you know,
and then just you growing up figuring out who you are.
You know, you got three more years for that. You
got well the rest of your life for that. But
you got three more years until you'll be on your
own for everything, with everything. So I don't have advice
(08:08):
on how you can be growner or show that you
are so grown that you don't need them to be
on your back all the time. No, I say I
love it. I say I love it. H And if
you value me in my opinion, then you would love
what I just said to you. Okay, baby girl, Now
what's all this about this ex mama who thinks that
(08:31):
you are pregnant and all of that shit? What the
hell's going on with that? I need to see what's
going on. And then that also tells me. If the
mom thinks that you're pregnant, then you two are having sex?
Is what that means? And that also promised me to
ask you, is that why you think you so damn
grown and that they shouldn't baby you all the time?
(08:54):
It's because you out here having sex? Is that? Why
does that have anything to do with it? And then
that much to have come from her son, your ex
boyfriend if she thinks it, unless you done gave her
some type of little inkling to think that you're pregnant,
she ain't gonna thank you pregnant for no reason pool
mm hm. So you need to figure that out, and
I need to know if you are as well, because
(09:16):
that also is gonna be a reason that that also
could be a reason why you don't want nobody to
baby you because you got a little baby in you
and you bet not. Okay, you got college and some
good things and some businesses to run and some shit
to do before you need to sit down and have
a baby. Okay, And I know I'm not the only
one that has told you this. Okay, Actually that ex'es
(09:37):
mom need to be telling you this. I don't know
if she's one of them that's trying to be your
fucking friend or what you know, and trying to be
so cool with your little ass that she don't want
to tell you that this is wrong. And look at
the bigger picture. I want to also know how old
her ass is and did you did y'all have sex
in her house? And uh uh huh, because it don't
(09:57):
seem like you could be having sex and you are
not with your parents ban all over your back, which
is a good thing and my opinion, So check back
in with me. I love you, I love you. I
love you. This is not me coming down hard on you.
This is not me trying to sound like everybody else.
This is just the truth and cold hard facts. Be
careful out here, Do not try to grow up too fast.
Be careful, Be careful for as long as you can
(10:20):
hold up. Hold up. I noticed shit getting good. But
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If
you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, guys, Hey, Jess,
my bestie of over a decade became friends with this
girl that really hurt me and bullied me for years.
This girl, let's call her Shila, has even snaked my
(10:40):
best friend let's call her Mira as well. Mira and
I had a falling out and recently picked up where
we left off, and she told me that her sisters
is friends with Shila, but she is not. Mia posted
on her ig both of them going out to eat.
I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I
love her, but I cannot continue to be friends with
someone that is friends with Sheila. Mara texted back, ensuring
(11:03):
me that she has no problem cutting her off for
me because she is loyal to me. I said, okay, cool.
She started making me feel weird and made it seem
like I forced her to cut her off and I
did not. All I said was I do not want
to be associated with someone that is comfortable being friends
with someone that hurt me, and she's the one that
decided to cut her off and keep me as her friend.
(11:25):
Mara doesn't have me on Snapchat anymore since we fell
out last time, but I still remember her snap name.
I had a weird feeling one day I looked up
her name and saw that she posted up at Shyla's house. Dumb.
I screenshot at the snaps and texted her that I
am not interested in being friends with her anymore and
broke down in tears because I felt that in my
(11:45):
soul that our friendship was really done this time. I'm
so sad, but I also feel like I'm starting to
have standards for myself, and I'm a little proud of
myself for deciding to no longer deal with fake friends.
My question is am I wrong in this situation. I've
never had real friends before because I used to be
the type of person to be friends with anyone. Now
(12:06):
that I'm twenty seven, I'm finally figuring out what type
of people I want in my circle, and be that
as it may. You are right, Okay, No, you are
not wrong in this situation, baby girl. First of all,
thank you for sending in your story. You're twenty seven. Yes,
you're still young. You know you're not a teenager, but
you are a young woman, and I think this is
(12:29):
the good time. What better time. It's a perfect time
to be growing in to the woman that you want
to become, you know, because you got three more years
until thirty. And they say, you know, and based off
of my own experience around that time at twenty seven,
twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, I started losing friends. I
started losing you know. I was what they call a
hopeless romantic in relationships and friendships as well. I would
(12:52):
give anybody a chance to be my friend, backstab me,
do this, do that, and you know, fuck around with
people who I You know, I've been in your situation
before around that same age. And so you're doing everything
that you can do possibly right to set standards for yourself.
That's good. You're figuring out who you are, like you said,
(13:13):
and everybody can't come with you. People outgrow people. I
just got finished telling a friend this the other day. Yes,
people do outgrow each other. You know. That goes for relationships,
that goes for family members, that goes for friendships. You know,
everybody's not going to be on your level, whether you're
higher or lower, whether you're the one taking forever to
evolve or whether they're the ones that's taking forever to evolve.
(13:35):
Everybody can't stay glued together, you know, because people have
to go separate ways to grow and then you come back.
You can revisit a friendship. But sometimes it's not meant
for you guys to stay as close or to be
as close as you guys once were. Sometimes you have
to be friends from a distance. You don't have to be.
But that can be that homegirl that you call every
(13:56):
now and then to check on, and it's like no
bad blood, but no harm done, no harm, no foul,
no love lost. You know, you could be the homegirl
that she calls every now and then. I'm just calling
to check on you, see where you are in your life.
If you need anything, love your girl, talk to you soon.
It could be that it doesn't have to be a beef,
but it doesn't necessarily have to be a best friendship either.
Also in her defense, in Mira's defense, I can understand
(14:22):
if she's the type of female that feels like this
she hurt you, she didn't hurt me. We were all
friends at one point, and this girl hurt you, she
didn't hurt me. I can tell her about herself all
goddamn day. I can tell her my opinion on how
she did you as my friend and how she did
(14:42):
our friend. That was fucked up, that was wrong. Maybe
she realized that it was wrong. But you didn't want
to be Shayla's friend anymore because of how badly she
treated you as a friend once before, bullied you and
all that. She could have grown out of that, but
you don't want. You don't have no words for her
because you can't forgive that and be that as it may.
(15:03):
Maybe you can't forgive that. But if Mia and Sheila
were friends before, they could still have a friendship, and
Marra could still be loyal to you as long as
Sheila don't talk shit about you to Mirah. I think
they're good, you know, I think I think that's how
Mara feels. And I think Mara just was caught in
(15:24):
a situation where she didn't want you to be mad
at her, because you obviously are one of her good friends,
and she's obviously one of your good friends too, you know,
or was one of your good friends. You know. She
just was caught in the middle, and she didn't want
to choose, so she was sneaking going to hang with Sheila.
Her and Sheila could have a bond, They could do
something for each other. She could be a good that
(15:46):
that confidant for Sheila. She Shyla could be that for her,
you know, you know, I think that you kind of
made it about her being friends with Sheila instead of
making it about the loyalty and the friendship in the
bond that you and Mirah made. Because nothing can break that,
not even a bitch that don't like you, not even
a bitch you don't like. It's supposed to be able
(16:07):
to come in between you and your good friend, you know.
And do you feel that they talk about you? Do
you feel shayless still? You know, talks about you to Mirah.
Do you feel like they set up and key key
about you and shit like that. If that's the case,
then know you're not wrong in this situation. And then
you just need to leave both of them alone. You know,
you need to leave Miraa alone. But y'all don't have
to beef. Y'all could just be long distance homegirls, you know,
(16:29):
homegirls from a distance associates if you will, you know,
but check back in, let me know, let me know.
I am all for you growing into the woman that
you want to become, and I'm all for you setting
these standards because at some point in our lives. We
all have to do that. Okay, I love your girl.
Check back in with me. If you love me, you'll
(16:50):
listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back
and the last story moving on. This is a quick one. Hey, Jazz,
I'm just going to get straight into it. I need
you to fix my mess. I've been dealing with this
guy for six years. Damn, you just been dealing with
him for six years? What the fuck? And we made
it official two years ago. I just found out that
(17:13):
he was married. So now I literally don't know what
to do. After six years of knowing him and growing
to be in love with him, two years of being official,
it's just hard to walk away. Uh well, bitch, throw
on some skates and roll the fuck on out. What
the hell is going on? What do you mean? You
(17:33):
found out he was married, so you've been a mistress.
You've unknowingly been a mistress for six years, and you
didn't know how to fuck You ain't know what the
fuck his wife is a What the fuck? What is she?
A deaf mute? How to fuck you that live in Antarctica?
How the fuck you don't know? Oh my god, I
(17:55):
need to talk to him. Now, how to fuck you
to the hats? What you done? Hit somebody for six years?
You hit two women for six years? Unless the wife
knew about you? How the hell did he hide the
wife from you for six years and hid you from
the wife for six years? What the fuck? Girl? Just leave?
(18:16):
I don't have no advice for that other than leave, girl,
fucking leave, leave, leave, leave, leave leave. I got so
many questions. Did you meet the wife yet? How did
you find out about the wife? Does he live with her?
What the hell is happening? How old are you? Shit?
How old is he? We all live? What y'all be doing? God? Damn, girl,
(18:37):
you don't got much fucking but did he? Oh my god?
Does he have kids with the wife? Do y'all have children? What? Girl?
You're gonna send me four sentences and say help me?
What the fuck? And just like that we come to
the end of another girl. I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here this shit. Just tune
in next week. I hope this bitch come back with something.
(18:57):
Shit next week, y'all, next week? Out of here? Peace
(20:12):
can't fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
The Black Effects. Before we get into this episode, y'all,
let me tell you so. We had the first ever
Black Effect podcast festival, and y'all know, me and Charlamagne
(00:22):
hosted it, well technically me. Charlamagne was reading the cause
like he was hooked on phonicshaw And I was so
nervous because that was my first time ever doing that shit, right,
you know, and I'm too I'm not, you know, I'm
transparent enough to let y'all know that. I was very nervous.
But when I got there and like the just to
see how the crowd embraced me, yo, it was amazing.
I had so much fun. We had Porscha Williams, Robin Dixon,
(00:44):
Giselle Bryant, Michelle Williams, Mandy and Weezy. What the fuck? Listen? Listen, y'all.
I got the footage, some footage coming. Make sure you
visit the Can'tfully Reckless page. The girls from Horrible Decisions
They had my ass up there, walking them like dogs.
Mandy and licked my damn shoe. They's some freaky holes, okay, theys,
some freaky bitches I lovem'na have to go. I'm gonna
have to go on horrible decisions. I'm gonna have to
(01:06):
you it may be a good decision for me to
go on horrible decisions. I ain't gonna lie. I like
them girls, Man, Tam, Bam, and aj. It was so
many black creators up in the house. Shout out to
Black Effect y'all. That is not the only festival. We're
coming back doing this shit yearly. And yes, your girl
Just Hilarious will be hosting next year too. I mean
they don't know yet, but y'all gotta put y'all bidding.
Y'all gotta let them know. Just Larious needs to host
(01:28):
every Black Effect podcast festivals. And just like that, we're
back on the air. Might check once you want two
A real bitch spent the black. What is you gonna do?
(01:50):
You're gonna listen, Ain't you're gonna listen because we're back
with Just Fix My Mess. Another catholic, reckless episode coming
to you right now. We're gonna jump straight in and
this episode we got people writing me. God damn it,
y'all don't want to send in y'all voices. Now listen,
Like last season, I said, I'm gonna keep on saying it.
I will read, Yes, I will read it. Ain't like
I don't want to. I will read as long as
(02:11):
y'all sound smart enough, as long as y'all writing this
shit smart, okay, because I don't want to sound a
literate when I'm trying to help y'all fix y'all mess shit.
A lot of y'all need to get hooked throwing motherfucking
phonics before y'all try to send me some goddamn mess
all these long run on essay sentences. How's somebody gonna
write me a whole fucking Oh this this shit is juicy,
but it ain't not one punctuation mark in this motherfucker
(02:34):
Jesus Aret. Hey, Jess, I've been dealing with this situation
where my family has been treating my as a toddler. Okay,
she must admit herself. My family has been treating me
as a toddler, and I honestly can't stand it. I
may only be eighteen. Oh yeah, she was definitely talking
about herself. I may only be eighteen, but I don't
even get treated like an eighteen year old. Keep in mind,
(02:57):
I'm not even the youngest child. There are many kids
born after me. My family keeps talking about marriage, and
my ex's mom is convinced that I could possibly be pregnant.
But I'm going through college and I would like to
form my life in a way where if I were
to get pregnant, it would be at a time where
I could give my child everything or she needs as
(03:21):
a mother and be different. Girl. I don't want to
give up on my family, and I really value you
and your opinion. But how do I get my family
to stop treating me like I'm still in eighth grade
and trust me enough to make decisions for myself that
require simple common sense. I've prayed about it, but I
feel like I need another woman's perspective. I may not
(03:43):
be grown, but I deserve my credit where it's due.
I'm not still messing with my ex. I have value.
I know that's right, Boogie. I have moved on, but
I'm gonna have to break up with his mom at
this point. Ooh, okay, so you're still close with his mom. Okay.
First of all, I love that you reached out to me.
Being as young as you are, I know y'all can
(04:05):
have a lot of pride oh my god, and y'all
don't want nobody in y'all business. Although y'all put it
all a little Instagram and shit, I'm not putting you
with them. I'm just saying, y'all because you is one
of them, all right. But I absolutely love how you
are mature enough to reach out to me on this
platform and that you don't mind sharing your story because
there are other teenagers that I'm pretty sure feel this
way and get treated like a baby, and you know,
(04:27):
they actually want to grow up. I have one of
my friends. Her daughter is nineteen, and she will not
let this little girl grow up. She will not the
girl to my baby girl to moved out. Well that's
her baby girl too, but she's my baby girl too.
She has moved out of her mom's house and everything,
you know, and the mom just still comes over her house.
And this is one of my friends. So I try
(04:50):
to talk to her all the time, like, yo, let
that girl grow up. Let her grow up. She has
a job, she's making her own money, she got her
own car, she's working. He's not in college, but she
is an entrepreneur. She has her own business. And these
are all qualities that her mom instilled in her, but
she's just not ready to see her grow up. Also,
I'm gonna give you this advice coming from a mother
(05:13):
to someone that's not a mother yet. I have an
eleven year old, okay, and I know it's gonna be
hard for me to just see him leave the nest.
He's my only child, and you know, I'm a boy mom,
and he is a mama's boy. You know what I'm saying.
And it's hard. It's hard. My dad babied me until
(05:34):
I was until I got pregnant with my son. That's
when I officially was not a baby in my dad's
eyes anymore. And that was at twenty years old. I
got pregnant at twenty. You know, my dad did not
want me to move out. My dad actually got upset
with my mom because she let me move out. She
didn't fight me on it. Look, that's enough about my
father child, because I can go all day on being
a daddy's girl and just you know, growing up like that.
(05:56):
Back to you, now, you're not gonna like this pool.
But you are only eighteen. No, you're not legally grown.
You are a young lady, but you're not a I
can't even say you're not a one. I want to
say that you're not a woman yet, babe, You're not
not just yet. I would say twenty one, twenty one,
(06:17):
You got another three years until you can go buy
some drinks. You got another three years until you can
even get in a goddamn club. Girl. You got three years,
three years until your parents are gonna say that you
word grown, okay, And I want to say this, Hey,
at least you still got your parents. You know, a
lot of eighteen year olds are out here having to
(06:39):
fend for themselves and are wishing to have parents that
could still treat them like a baby. You know, I
love that, the fact that you're being nurtured. It's a
lot of shit going on out in this world, sex trafficking,
young women and children are being targeted by older men,
you know what I'm saying, and out the country both
it used to be outside the country more. But what
(07:02):
social media has done, which can sometimes be a gift
in the curse that social media, it has opened up
our eyes to see what is more publicized now, and
that is crime, a lot of fucking crime. You gotta
be careful. These men are praying on y'all. Young girls,
on these dating apps and on social media, and they're
watching what y'all post, y'all revealing y'all body parts, and
like not saying you, but I'm saying y'all because you
(07:23):
are eighteen, so you're a part of the you know,
the younger generation, you know, the millennials. I'd say, but
I want you to be more grateful for that than
upset about it, because there will be one day that
you look back and you're gonna be like, it wasn't
so bad. It wasn't so bad. They've done well with
(07:46):
you to this point. You know, they have done well
with you. You seem to be a great young lady,
and I'm gonna give that credit to your parents, you know,
and then just you growing up figuring out who you are.
You know, you got three more years for that. You
got well the rest of your life for that. But
you got three more years until you'll be on your
own for everything, with everything. So I don't have advice
(08:08):
on how you can be growner or show that you
are so grown that you don't need them to be
on your back all the time. No, I say I
love it. I say I love it. H And if
you value me in my opinion, then you would love
what I just said to you. Okay, baby girl, Now
what's all this about this ex mama who thinks that
(08:31):
you are pregnant and all of that shit? What the
hell's going on with that? I need to see what's
going on. And then that also tells me. If the
mom thinks that you're pregnant, then you two are having sex?
Is what that means? And that also promised me to
ask you, is that why you think you so damn
grown and that they shouldn't baby you all the time?
(08:54):
It's because you out here having sex? Is that? Why
does that have anything to do with it? And then
that much to have come from her son, your ex
boyfriend if she thinks it, unless you done gave her
some type of little inkling to think that you're pregnant,
she ain't gonna thank you pregnant for no reason pool
mm hm. So you need to figure that out, and
I need to know if you are as well, because
(09:16):
that also is gonna be a reason that that also
could be a reason why you don't want nobody to
baby you because you got a little baby in you
and you bet not. Okay, you got college and some
good things and some businesses to run and some shit
to do before you need to sit down and have
a baby. Okay, And I know I'm not the only
one that has told you this. Okay, Actually that ex'es
(09:37):
mom need to be telling you this. I don't know
if she's one of them that's trying to be your
fucking friend or what you know, and trying to be
so cool with your little ass that she don't want
to tell you that this is wrong. And look at
the bigger picture. I want to also know how old
her ass is and did you did y'all have sex
in her house? And uh uh huh, because it don't
(09:57):
seem like you could be having sex and you are
not with your parents ban all over your back, which
is a good thing and my opinion, So check back
in with me. I love you, I love you. I
love you. This is not me coming down hard on you.
This is not me trying to sound like everybody else.
This is just the truth and cold hard facts. Be
careful out here, Do not try to grow up too fast.
Be careful, Be careful for as long as you can
(10:20):
hold up. Hold up. I noticed shit getting good. But
listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If
you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, guys, Hey, Jess,
my bestie of over a decade became friends with this
girl that really hurt me and bullied me for years.
This girl, let's call her Shila, has even snaked my
(10:40):
best friend let's call her Mira as well. Mira and
I had a falling out and recently picked up where
we left off, and she told me that her sisters
is friends with Shila, but she is not. Mia posted
on her ig both of them going out to eat.
I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I
love her, but I cannot continue to be friends with
someone that is friends with Sheila. Mara texted back, ensuring
(11:03):
me that she has no problem cutting her off for
me because she is loyal to me. I said, okay, cool.
She started making me feel weird and made it seem
like I forced her to cut her off and I
did not. All I said was I do not want
to be associated with someone that is comfortable being friends
with someone that hurt me, and she's the one that
decided to cut her off and keep me as her friend.
(11:25):
Mara doesn't have me on Snapchat anymore since we fell
out last time, but I still remember her snap name.
I had a weird feeling one day I looked up
her name and saw that she posted up at Shyla's house. Dumb.
I screenshot at the snaps and texted her that I
am not interested in being friends with her anymore and
broke down in tears because I felt that in my
(11:45):
soul that our friendship was really done this time. I'm
so sad, but I also feel like I'm starting to
have standards for myself, and I'm a little proud of
myself for deciding to no longer deal with fake friends.
My question is am I wrong in this situation. I've
never had real friends before because I used to be
the type of person to be friends with anyone. Now
(12:06):
that I'm twenty seven, I'm finally figuring out what type
of people I want in my circle, and be that
as it may. You are right, Okay, No, you are
not wrong in this situation, baby girl. First of all,
thank you for sending in your story. You're twenty seven. Yes,
you're still young. You know you're not a teenager, but
you are a young woman, and I think this is
(12:29):
the good time. What better time. It's a perfect time
to be growing in to the woman that you want
to become, you know, because you got three more years
until thirty. And they say, you know, and based off
of my own experience around that time at twenty seven,
twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, I started losing friends. I
started losing you know. I was what they call a
hopeless romantic in relationships and friendships as well. I would
(12:52):
give anybody a chance to be my friend, backstab me,
do this, do that, and you know, fuck around with
people who I You know, I've been in your situation
before around that same age. And so you're doing everything
that you can do possibly right to set standards for yourself.
That's good. You're figuring out who you are, like you said,
(13:13):
and everybody can't come with you. People outgrow people. I
just got finished telling a friend this the other day. Yes,
people do outgrow each other. You know. That goes for relationships,
that goes for family members, that goes for friendships. You know,
everybody's not going to be on your level, whether you're
higher or lower, whether you're the one taking forever to
evolve or whether they're the ones that's taking forever to evolve.
(13:35):
Everybody can't stay glued together, you know, because people have
to go separate ways to grow and then you come back.
You can revisit a friendship. But sometimes it's not meant
for you guys to stay as close or to be
as close as you guys once were. Sometimes you have
to be friends from a distance. You don't have to be.
But that can be that homegirl that you call every
(13:56):
now and then to check on, and it's like no
bad blood, but no harm done, no harm, no foul,
no love lost. You know, you could be the homegirl
that she calls every now and then. I'm just calling
to check on you, see where you are in your life.
If you need anything, love your girl, talk to you soon.
It could be that it doesn't have to be a beef,
but it doesn't necessarily have to be a best friendship either.
Also in her defense, in Mira's defense, I can understand
(14:22):
if she's the type of female that feels like this
she hurt you, she didn't hurt me. We were all
friends at one point, and this girl hurt you, she
didn't hurt me. I can tell her about herself all
goddamn day. I can tell her my opinion on how
she did you as my friend and how she did
(14:42):
our friend. That was fucked up, that was wrong. Maybe
she realized that it was wrong. But you didn't want
to be Shayla's friend anymore because of how badly she
treated you as a friend once before, bullied you and
all that. She could have grown out of that, but
you don't want. You don't have no words for her
because you can't forgive that and be that as it may.
(15:03):
Maybe you can't forgive that. But if Mia and Sheila
were friends before, they could still have a friendship, and
Marra could still be loyal to you as long as
Sheila don't talk shit about you to Mirah. I think
they're good, you know, I think I think that's how
Mara feels. And I think Mara just was caught in
(15:24):
a situation where she didn't want you to be mad
at her, because you obviously are one of her good friends,
and she's obviously one of your good friends too, you know,
or was one of your good friends. You know. She
just was caught in the middle, and she didn't want
to choose, so she was sneaking going to hang with Sheila.
Her and Sheila could have a bond, They could do
something for each other. She could be a good that
(15:46):
that confidant for Sheila. She Shyla could be that for her,
you know, you know, I think that you kind of
made it about her being friends with Sheila instead of
making it about the loyalty and the friendship in the
bond that you and Mirah made. Because nothing can break that,
not even a bitch that don't like you, not even
a bitch you don't like. It's supposed to be able
(16:07):
to come in between you and your good friend, you know.
And do you feel that they talk about you? Do
you feel shayless still? You know, talks about you to Mirah.
Do you feel like they set up and key key
about you and shit like that. If that's the case,
then know you're not wrong in this situation. And then
you just need to leave both of them alone. You know,
you need to leave Miraa alone. But y'all don't have
to beef. Y'all could just be long distance homegirls, you know,
(16:29):
homegirls from a distance associates if you will, you know,
but check back in, let me know, let me know.
I am all for you growing into the woman that
you want to become, and I'm all for you setting
these standards because at some point in our lives. We
all have to do that. Okay, I love your girl.
Check back in with me. If you love me, you'll
(16:50):
listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back
and the last story moving on. This is a quick one. Hey, Jazz,
I'm just going to get straight into it. I need
you to fix my mess. I've been dealing with this
guy for six years. Damn, you just been dealing with
him for six years? What the fuck? And we made
it official two years ago. I just found out that
(17:13):
he was married. So now I literally don't know what
to do. After six years of knowing him and growing
to be in love with him, two years of being official,
it's just hard to walk away. Uh well, bitch, throw
on some skates and roll the fuck on out. What
the hell is going on? What do you mean? You
(17:33):
found out he was married, so you've been a mistress.
You've unknowingly been a mistress for six years, and you
didn't know how to fuck You ain't know what the
fuck his wife is a What the fuck? What is she?
A deaf mute? How to fuck you that live in Antarctica?
How the fuck you don't know? Oh my god, I
(17:55):
need to talk to him. Now, how to fuck you
to the hats? What you done? Hit somebody for six years?
You hit two women for six years? Unless the wife
knew about you? How the hell did he hide the
wife from you for six years and hid you from
the wife for six years? What the fuck? Girl? Just leave?
(18:16):
I don't have no advice for that other than leave, girl,
fucking leave, leave, leave, leave, leave leave. I got so
many questions. Did you meet the wife yet? How did
you find out about the wife? Does he live with her?
What the hell is happening? How old are you? Shit?
How old is he? We all live? What y'all be doing? God? Damn, girl,
(18:37):
you don't got much fucking but did he? Oh my god?
Does he have kids with the wife? Do y'all have children? What? Girl?
You're gonna send me four sentences and say help me?
What the fuck? And just like that we come to
the end of another girl. I gotta get out of here.
I gotta get out of here this shit. Just tune
in next week. I hope this bitch come back with something.
(18:57):
Shit next week, y'all, next week? Out of here? Peace
(20:12):
can't fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
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