January 4, 2023 • 33 mins
Happy New Year y'all!! Jess is starting off fixing mess with a bang! This week's episode features one veryyyy interesting story about polygamy. This what y'all out here doing?! Tap in!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back
on the air. We're gonna jove right and we got
a voice submission and it's pretty long, so that's just listen, y'all. Hey, Jess,
(00:22):
I want to reach out to say that I love
you so much and I have a story to tell you,
and it's a lot. I did send it as a message,
but it's too much information and I wouldn't even read
all of it. So I'm just going to try to
tell you and see if he can fix my mess
or just help me with some type of advice on
healing from this situation and where I should go from there.
(00:45):
So to start off, I am about to be twenty
seven years old and I had had a stew past
tips a best friend that I had for ten years.
He was a male guy, and he was a great friend,
Like he was an amazing friend, and I didn't have
any doubts about him. I never thought twice or anything like,
(01:07):
never question anything about his character anything like that. So
to start off, remind you again, we've been friends for
ten plus years, literally strictly just friends in my head.
I don't see nothing more, nothing less, literally just a
friend of friend zone. That's where he is. Don't even
found you attractive. So fast forward to a year now,
(01:28):
which is three, and in April, he decided he's alreadys
been like expressing how he felt about me or just
like sending all type of messages about how much he
loves me or inspire him and doing these things like
sitting all type of every time I post a picture,
he's sitting all types of things, like all the hard
(01:50):
eyes is super supportive. Like, but I knew that he
was floating with me for a very very long time.
But again, remind you, I friend zone that man. So
I'm not paying attention to any of it. He has girlfriends,
multiple girl friends. I'm cool with all. With some of
his girlfriends, they didn't told me so many things that
he didn't they don't went through. So I went to doctors,
(02:11):
depotments and everything with certain females that he used to date,
and they were like he they would burn each other like.
It was just so much stuff like I that I
knew about him and how he moved with women, and
he like he was he was one of those people
that could never settle down with just one woman and
be happy. He needs multiple That is something that I
know for sure, is that he needs a person at
(02:34):
all times. One person is not good enough for him.
So with me knowing that knowledge, I took into myself
and said that I would never date this guy. I
would like he is a great friend, but I don't
never see myself dating him because I've seen all the flags.
I've seen all the red flags. We talked about a lot,
we talked about both of our dating lives, we talked
(02:55):
about a lot of things to each each other. So
I always say that I would never date him because
of how he treated women. And he's one of those
guys that has money, so he thinks that he could
just buy people off or I buy this and she
wou'd be okay, like, oh, I take on a trip,
and she did get over it. So he's definitely one
of those people. So back in April, he decided to well,
(03:19):
he already knows that I like girls, So I me
and him were just talking a lot, and he kept
he was flirting more and more, and I really didn't
know about the situation that he had going on at home,
so I was just peeping that he was flirting way
more than usual. So I had said something to him like,
and I have really went back on all the messages
to see like because I didn't really remind you I
(03:41):
had of my friend zone, so I didn't see him
like flirting with me. I just was like, oh, thank you, Like, oh,
this is my friend. Like anytime he's sitting hard heart
emotives or things like that, I was just like, oh,
thank you, like I appreciate that, Like, because we're friends,
I would do the same thing. So I didn't think
that it was like flirting because I literally had strictly
in the friend zone. Everything was cut off. So we
decided to get in a pologams relationship in April with me,
(04:04):
him and his girlfriend at the time, and everything was
going good. Everything was going good, Everything was going great.
Our communication was good. Me and her, we're talking, We
were taking the kids out on play dates. We were
all three going dates together. We would do separate dates.
Were like. It was just a good vibe. For probably
two months, me and him went to Atlanta for some reason,
(04:28):
she did not go. When we got to Atlanta, everything
was cool, but his energy was off, like something was
giving me. You're being sneaky, and I was confused on
while you're being sneaky, if we all three communicate properly
and know what's going on, everything was okay. The trip
started getting messy after I posted a picture. I had
posted a picture on social media because my one of
(04:50):
my shirts had got wine spilt over it. So I
asked him for one of his shirts, and I still
used it as a nice outfit. Put it together and
I used one of his shirts. His girlfriend realized that
I had one in shirts, and then it turned left.
But remind you, we all agreed to this polygamous relationship,
so I'm confused on what's going on. Don't get me wrong,
I'm not a victim in this situation, because again I
(05:13):
walked into the situation knowing that they are in a
relationship and I'm just another person that's being added to it.
So I never was one of those people to like
cock block on their situation or if she ever felt uncomfortable,
I wanted her to voice it to me so I
can notice step back and things like that. So we
get back from Atlanta, all of a sudden, they announced
(05:35):
that she's pregnant. Didn't tell me anything about it, didn't
keep me in a loop. So it was like a
slap in the face. So me and him ended up
getting into a little disagreement, I want to say, an
argument or anything like that, because we were redep good
with communication, like we communicated very well with each other.
And it just threw me off because why wouldn't you
tell me, like, I know, y'all in a relationship, so
(05:56):
why did you just let me know? Like I'm not
a hating as bitch. So I congratulated them. I don't
want my kids right now. I already have a four
year old, so it's like, it ain't me that got pregnant.
So I'm not tripping. So we fast forward again, move
up some We all went to Vegas. Vegas was amazing. Um,
(06:18):
we went to Vegas for Mother's Day. He asked me
on that trip. I want to point this out. Every
trip that he ever asks me to go one, it
was never like he flew me out. I always paid
my half on everything anything we did. We always went
Dutch or and I always paid my half. It was
never like him doing everything for me unless it was
(06:40):
him like, oh no, let me pick this up. And
I felt like that was a man being a man.
You're doing your manly duties. We came back from Vegas
and then that's when we did the gender reveal. I've
been invited to the gender reveal. I literally helped set
up the gender reveal, helped tear down the gender reveal.
I'm near the whole time. Everything's great, everything's cordial, everybody's
talking to each other. I'm helping as much as I can.
(07:01):
I'm making sure the kid is good while they do
the thing, like just being the best person as I can,
like doing my duties, like I'm only gonna be as
genuine as I can be. So everything was okay, and
then all of a sudden, she just started getting rockier
and rockier, Like you can tell her energy changed up
and things like that. But then again, I know her
(07:23):
energy was gonna change up because you're pregnant, So now
your feelings are going to change. She agreed to the
pologamous relationship before she was pregnant, So now you are
pregnant and your feelings are changing. So I'm like, would
you like me to step back from the situation. She's
telling me, no, everything's fine. She just want to get
(07:43):
an understanding, like so now nothing is clear to her
anymore of what's really going on? One, what's the deal
of us? What we're doing, what we're are we dating?
Or am I just sucking on them? And or excuse me,
am I supposed to? Because am I just messing on them?
Until she drops the baby, like she started getting in
like if he on both of us, like and it
wasn't just me, it was both of us, Like we
(08:04):
were both confused, and we're like, what's going on? If
we all sat down and had an agreement, like where
all these feelings coming from? Now? Like is it the hormones?
Is that this? Is this? Do you want me to
just back off? Because I can do that as well.
She tells me, no, don't back off. Everything's fine, Everything's okay.
She just wanted a better understanding. So basically, I realized
that more of the stories. She only really wanted me
(08:25):
close because he told her that me and her, me
and him are friends, and then she realized that me
and him had an actual bondy and we've been friends
for ten years, so she really just wanted to get
the inside scoop on what was really going on between
me and him. Remind you, me and him, they never
touched each other none of that ship until she approved
on the pologamist relationship, and then that's when we all
three decided to touch each other. Once she starts tripping
(08:45):
and switching up, I fell back. I feel back from her,
And that's where I messed up on my end, because
I should have fell back from both of them. But
knowing that he's been my best friend for ten plus years,
me and him still at our friendship going now, I'm
not gonna lie. We definitely still was messing on each
other whenever we got a chance or whatever like that.
(09:08):
And she knows this like she knew everything. I always
communicated everything with her like when we were together, so
she won't feel like she's down or alone or she's
being not included. So anytime that we would make plans,
I would invite her. Any time he made plans, um
they would invite me. But every time she decided to
make a plan, she would invite me or nothing to
be added to it. So I already knew that she
(09:29):
had some type of feelings going on, something was going on,
but she was not trying to communicate that at all.
Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good,
but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. We're gonna move to July.
July six, She's texting my phone reminds me, I'm still
think everything is quartil. She has not told me that
she doesn't like me, that she has beef with me,
(09:51):
that she just don't like this situation. She has not
said any of this to me at all, So I'm
still thinking everything's courtial. I'm still going over their house.
If they call them they need something, like I'm doing,
I'm helping them. If I call them and I need something,
they're helping. Like it was just so mutual. It was
still mutual. Nothing was like weird. Her energy was weird,
like when I stepped around, but everything was still of cordial. Well,
(10:11):
still do play dates with the kids. Everything was still fine.
So I thought everything was still cordroo and adult and
everybody could still talk to each other. That day, she
decided to text me, Hey, I wanted to plan a
play date with the kids. Her daughter wanted to see
my son. So we text each other set up a
play date. I think it was urban arrow or a
(10:33):
park or something like that, and I'm like, okay, cool,
Like I'll let you know, like when we can meet,
what time we meet up and things like that. She
was like, okay, cool that night I can say, like
eleven o'clock at night, I smoke, so I'm out going
to go get my stuff that I need to run
into the store getting my woods, gonna go pick up
what I need to And she decides to text my phone,
(10:55):
Hey can we meet? I want to talk to you.
So I'm like okay, sure, like yeah, we can meet,
Like I have no problem, Like what's up? Like what's wrong?
You want to talk? Like everything? Okay? Is the baby
all right? Like remind you she's fool going pregnant at
this time, she's eight months. So I'm like, it's everything okay,
as you are right, like it's late, like what's going on?
She like, I just feel like y'all playing in my
(11:15):
face and like that, like you really playing with me
and you trying me? And I'm like, how am I
trying you? Like? How am I playing with you? If
everything was agreed upon, we all talked about this situation
like it was nothing like spontaneous. Oh he cheating with
a savage. He was never allowed to touch me, none
of that. Until she knew that he had feelings for me,
(11:37):
and this is what he really wanted. And he had
to sit down with her to tell her that he
had feelings for me, and this is what he wanted.
Everything's cool. We're talking. Remind you I did some stupid ship.
So I get out my car, get into that of
her car, and we're just talking like everything's cordial. We're
talking super calm to each other. We're getting out all
of the things that we're talking about. I'm letting her speech,
(12:00):
let me speak, like we're not raising our voice at all.
Like everything super, super grown in cordial. All of a sudden,
I see a red car pull up. It's her best friend.
I said, what is this. She's like, oh no, my
phone went dead and she was the last person I
was on the phone with and she has my location,
(12:20):
so she just pulled up here. Instantly knew that was bullshit.
Her friend decides to get out of the car, so
I got her, got out of her car, and start
walking towards my car because I'm like, this is a setup,
So I'm just gonna walk away, like you're not about
to set me up. I'm not about to fight you.
I'm not about to do none of that, like you
full blown pregnant. I'm not about to do that. I'm
not abo to disrespect you. You pregnant as fun, and
(12:40):
you are my best friends woman. I'm not about to
disrespect you in no type of way like ever, because
then it's gonna mess up our refriendship and that's what
I don't want. Like, so I'm gonna keep it cordially
and keep it respectful because I will never disrespect you
like that and I will never put my hands on
a pregnant woman. So get out of her car. Going
to my car, I'm sitting there trying to find my keys,
about to drive off her friends. She's standing at my door.
(13:03):
I don't have my door shut because she's standing in
my doorway and refuses to let me close my door.
So I'm trying to find my keys in the dark
as all of this is going on. So now she's
trying to argue with me, and I'm like, no, I'm
not about to argue with you. I'm not about to
fight you, Like, can you please close my door. I'm
not about to do this. We're not about to do this, like,
let me go. I'm not even about to play these games.
(13:26):
This is petty. I'm not about to put my hands
on nobody, because if I feel like I have to
put my hands on somebody, I'm not stopping. So once
I found my keys, I closed my door. That's when
she went left. Once I put my keys in my
ignition and I closed the door, she decides to hit me.
As I'm sitting down in my car, window down, she
(13:47):
decides to hit me. My tooth falls out. I instantly
decided to put my tooth back in my mouth, like
it literally fell out from the root. So it's my shift.
It's not broke or anything. It literally fell out from
the root. She hit me like closer to of my
nose area, like in the nerve spot, so my tooth
fell out. I put it back in my mouth like
in the heat of the adrenaline. I literally shoved my
(14:08):
tooth right back in my mouth and pulled her inside
of my car through the window and start beating her
ass instantly on spot. So that's when her friend decided
to get in and was like, no, you're not gonna
put your hands on her. You're not gonna hit her.
This girl just decided to put her hands on me,
And you think I'm not about to protect myself. It's
two against one, y'all. Not about to do this to
(14:29):
me at a twelve o'clock in the morning. No, So,
as I'm on my way home, I'm calling my friend.
So I'm calling his phone, like what's going on? Like
calling him, texting me, trying to figure out, like what
the funk? Like do you even know that your girl
just came all the way on the whole other side
of town to come fight me? Like on some like
what type of ship does this? You're pregnant woman at that?
(14:50):
Let her come out the house to come fight me?
Like what type weird as ship is this? Like? What type? Me?
And whatever? Let they grow they pregnant woman leave out
the house damn near one o'clock in the morning to
go fight a motherfucker. Since when do people that she
like that go down? But I realized that she had
his phone the entire time. So every time and I'm
(15:10):
texting his phone, calling his phone, that's her replying. She's
declining all calls. So I realized that's when everything was
coming to me like boom, this is a setup. I
completely understand that. So he has nothing to do with this.
This was all her and her friend agenda. I come home,
I pressed charges because remind you this bit my tooth
fell out my mouth. So now I have to go
get surgery. I have to get an emergency surgery, and
(15:31):
I have to pay for all of this stuff. I
didn't pay literally sin with all of this stuff going on,
I didn't pay over probably fat thousand on surgeries, them
to appointments, things like that, just to make sure that
I'm great. And I'm just confused on what's going on
because he has not said anything to me, Like he
apologized on the situation and everything like that, but as
(15:54):
far as him being a man and laying she'd go down,
it was like, God, damn, was I really your friend?
Like what the fun type ship is this? But I
don't want to give you anymore on that situation. I
want to really get something on my part, Like I
just want some advice one what I should do now.
So I decided to break off all ties with both
(16:17):
of them. So it's a protection order on her and
the whole situation from April to now. He handled me
completely wrong. For us to be best friends for as
long as we did, he handled me completely wrong. He
disrespected me. He put me in situations that I should
never have been in. And it was like, after all
the ship and that I've told you, talk to you about,
and things that I've vinted to you about, and you
(16:40):
literally put me in the same predicaments. So I walked
away from everything. So now I'm asking for just to
either fix my mask or just give me some advice,
like at this point, because I don't have no friends,
like I don't have no female friends, I don't have
no male friends, I don't have no friends. So I
literally just be in the house with my son, my
four year old son, um cleaning business, and then I
(17:02):
work at the same time, like a little part of time,
a little something, So I try to keep myself busy
as much as possible. But I want to know, like
from your perspective, with this whole pologamy relationship, I know
I shouldn't have got into it. I know that for
a fact, because I can, I can answer my own
questions on that the part that I need help with
leaving that friendship completely, Like I literally dropped the friendship
(17:24):
completely just off of how he handled it, and he
wanted to point the finger at me like I was
the bad guy and he tried to make me seem
like I broke up his household, I messed up everything
that he had gone on. He literally pointed the finger
at me for everything. Like I know I could take
accountability for meeting up with the girl at one o'clock
(17:44):
in the morning, two o'clock, like twelve, I take accountability
for that, But I did not know that this girl
wanted to fight me, had been for me animosity, Like
I didn't know all of that. I knew she was
like feeling some type of way, but we kept trying
to get the information out of her, like what's going on?
And talk to us if you want me to fall
back out? Fall back? Like what is it? Like? She
was not communicating, So how can I know all of
this information? So now I'm stuck here with no friends.
(18:08):
Imagine my friend for teen plus years is now gone.
I don't have a bond with him anymore. I don't
even care to talk to him be around him, like
it discussed me now, Like to know that he's living
with a person that set me up and he's still
trying to be friends with me. Like you literally living
in the household with a person that's literally using you,
(18:29):
taking advantage of you. He tried to say that I
was using him for his money and things like that.
Remind you go back everything that we did since April
and it's December. I went Dutch or I paid my half,
no matter what. Every trip that we took, I paid
for my own flights, I paid for my own food.
I paid for my own stuff. Anything that we need,
I pay for my own stuff, no matter what. It
(18:50):
was just like I was getting fed up of a
lot of ships, like how he was like being so
nonchalant over so much stuff without a courtship that we
was going through. He wasn't a he and apologize until
someone else has said something to him. And it literally
made him put himself in my position to realize what
how he would have handled it, because he was telling
me if it was him on the other foot, he
(19:11):
would have just shot her. I said, exactly, But I'm
wrong for beating her ass doing that. She's pregnant. But
if I would have had my gun a bit, you
be dead. But let's not say that though. But just
I just want some anybody, if you would like to
hear a part two to get more information, I would
definitely send you apart too. This is a lie, and
I do apologize, but I just shoot, at this point,
(19:32):
I could have just talked to you over the phone
so I could just really figure out what's going on
so you can hear the full story. Again, I take
accountability for the things that I've done, But when will
people take accountability for the things that they do. I'm
tired of being treated like bullshit by people like you
invited me into this. Both of y'all invited me into this.
Y'all knew what was up. Y'all know what goes on.
This man fell in love with me, and now you
(19:53):
and your feelings, and it's just like damn. So now
I'm just like by myself and I'm just trying to
figure out should I should I really leave that friendship
completely alone or should I just like handle it from
a distance. I just need some help. I just really
need some help because again, that was my that was
my good, good, good friend. Um, so I just really
(20:15):
need some help on that. Now we got a commercial,
and if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm
gonna beat your ass. Listen, girl, that's the whole goddamn episode.
I can't even fit in another story, but listen, I
know you're saying that you only need help on one part.
But you shouldn't have told me all that ship because
I got something to say about everything. Everything, everything. So
(20:36):
you're gonna listen. You already seen pretty smart, You already
know exactly you know what you want to do. Okay,
so you stop talking to the friend. Let's start from
the fucking beginning, because I got a couple of jokes
for you. First of all, you called this nigga a
mail guy, as if that's not the same thing. So
you basically said this is a man man. All right, Cool,
that was just for a little after y'all been best
(20:56):
friends for templus gears. Okay, so you were prone to
exactly how he treated women before, you know, since high school,
you guys have been knowing each other like you had
the best seat in the house to see exactly how
he treated women. So if you keep that in the
back of your fucking mind, you should totally not be
shocked at anything that he does even now to take
an accountability for anything that he have me may be
(21:18):
contributed to which resulted and you getting you goddamn teeth
knocked out the fuck. He's always been non faithful, He's
always had money. So we know guys who have money,
they use that. Not all of them, a lot of
them use that as power over other people, you know,
whether that be women or men, whatever, but mainly women.
And that is a woman's weakness. A man with money,
(21:40):
I don't give a fuck. Not every woman, but a
lot of women, okay, especially these days, a man with money, okay,
because everybody's looking to be taken care of instead of
taking care of their motherfucking selves. But you also bought
to my attention that he wanted to be more than
best friends for a long time, and you kept friends
zoning it. And you also told me that you like women.
(22:00):
Obviously you're not gay, though you're bisexual, or you wouldn't
have been sucking him at any point in time because
gay is just gay by you know what that is. Okay,
So you were into women, but you were also into
men as well, had to be. So when he got
this this girlfriend who deemed it to be okay for
the polly relationship, that now was not just a girlfriend
(22:23):
and boyfriend, that was girlfriend boyfriend girlfriend. So that was
all three of y'all out of nowhere, right, And then
you said the first trip to Atlanta. He was being sneaky.
The girlfriend didn't come, and that's because she was pregnant,
you know, and just probably didn't want to travel there
and have her hormones everywhere or mourning sickness or whatever.
But you were upset first red flag. They didn't tell
(22:43):
you she was pregnant. I think if this was a
polygamous relationship, and y'all are practicing true polygamy, everybody is
supposed to know everything. It's just like a regular relationship
with just two people. You have to be honest with
your mates or mates in this case, you know every bud.
He shouldn't know everything you know, so nobody is shocked
or nobody has hurt, or nobody is betrayed or feels
(23:04):
betrayed when anything comes out. Okay, you felt betrayed, and
you did feel some type of way. You said that
you got upset. Why did you get upset if you
then turned around and said that you didn't give a
fund because you weren't the one pregnant. Was it more
so that they didn't keep it real with you. They
kept from you that they were pregnant. Is that why
you're upset? Was it upset because you felt like you
would now be less interesting to the both of them
(23:26):
because they now have a baby on the way, you know,
between them too, Like, what exactly frustrated you? Why? I mean,
why did you get so upset with that? If it
wasn't all about them just keeping it a hunted Let
me know, Hey, I'm in this relationship too. Why didn't
I know that she was having a baby. You said
Vegas was nice? Then at the gender reveal, you were
doing your duties as the second girlfriend, you know, as
(23:47):
the other girlfriend. I don't see how the funk if
you were so upset about this pregnancy, you still was
at the gender reveal doing everything you said. You helped
put it up, you helped take it down. Jesus Christ,
you involved yourself for a lot. Wait, let's just go
back a little bit. I think that you also involved
yourself in this guy's relationships before this one a little
too much. You told me that she was going to
(24:08):
the doctors with the pitches and ship because he was
burning them left and right. You were a way too
involved with the girlfriends, way way way way too involved.
But that was then. This is now okay, going forward.
You said the girlfriend eventually started acting different, out of nowhere.
Y'all just kept asking her, what is the problem? Do
(24:28):
you want me to step back? Do you instead of
waiting for her to tell you that? I think you
just should have. You just should have. You didn't really
tell me that he had a lot to say, but
from woman to woman, from her to you, I think
you should have kind of read the room, because with
you telling me this, I even already figured it out.
She was upset because she had only did this polygamous
(24:50):
relationship for him. She was never into women. I'm gonna
tell you that. That's why she had that best friend
come and whoop your ass. Sorry, she did not whoop
your way as girl. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But if
you knock a bitch tooth out, that's automatic you won.
I don't give a funk what I did to you
after you knocked my tooth out. But you'd beat my
ass if you knocked my tooth out, because you can
go and help from the bruises. I can't help from
(25:11):
a missing tooth. Jesus. So, okay, I'm sorry. We're gonna
back it up a little bit more. This story is crazy,
all right. She was never into women. She compromised herself
for your best friend with the money and the person
taking care of her, and the person that was winding
and dinning and wooing her. I also think that he
may have told her all the feelings that he has
(25:32):
had for you, because he's obviously an honest person. He
just don't give a funk because he got money. He
like I can tell his bitch is the truth and
where they're going nowhere. So I think that he literally
may have confessed to her his real love for you
and how long that he was probably chasing you, and
how you are probably the only woman that understands him
because you were his best friend for a long time,
(25:52):
and in your story that's what I got. You were
maybe the only woman that showed him that you understood him,
and you still obliged to even get a three way
relationship with him and his girlfriend and be having sex
with both of them. Now understand, when she got pregnant,
she started acting different because now I'm pregnant, now, I
don't want to bring a baby in the world with
a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I was only doing this
(26:13):
ship for you, Marquise, I just gave him my name.
I was only doing this ship for you, Marquise, but
now you're your best friend. Gonna have to stop sucking,
and we're gonna have to stop all working together. I
have a baby, I'm pregnant. Now. I want to take
our relationship and subtract her and it can just be
us and we can finally live a regular relationship life.
I think that's what she's always wanted, but she just
(26:35):
wasn't truthful enough to say it, and then she probably
felt like it wasn't her place to dismiss you, to
break up with you. The idea was brought by him,
so I think that she had already been telling him
how she felt the whole time. He just didn't tell you.
I think he knew that she didn't want polygamy anymore.
I think that he just never told you because it's
something that he enjoyed. So that's why you and him
(26:56):
were still fucking off. He never told you how she felt,
but you, in the back of your mind, you knew
exactly how she felt because in your story you're telling me,
you could have easily guessed this girl was uncomfortable with
this ship. Now it's ran its course, it's not fun anymore.
It probably was never fun, but for a man, you
tend to do anything to make him happy and to
(27:17):
keep him happy so he can keep you happy. Get
what I'm saying now. When she called and met up
with your ass, and you went, you ran to our
rescue because you still just loved her, you know, and
or whether you loved he or not, you were still
concerned about her because you seem to be a really
really good person. You just like what you like, but
you seem to be a really genuine person. So you
(27:38):
went to see what was up. You didn't know what
she had to talk to you about. I agree that
they set you up. She had her best friend come
because this nigga never relayed the message to her that
he had told you how she felt. He was supposed
to tell you. Look, look, look y'all, I think that
we just got chilled until she had a baby or
we just can't do this ship no more. That was
(27:58):
too much like right. He would have never did that, obviously,
and he probably lied to her and told her that
he did tell you that, and she just probably think
that you didn't give a fuck and you just kept
sucking him because obviously, if she had his phone to
answer text messages and all that she's been going through
the phone and y'all probably was still meeting up and
sucking all that type of ship. So she felt like
(28:18):
y'all was playing in her face, hence why she said
it t y'all playing in my face. And then da,
You're like, how, how? How? When really there was no
communication between you two girls. He knows everything, but he's
only telling one side to one person. You understand what
I'm saying, making you think that she is still sweet,
but you knew in the back of your mind it wasn't.
So the best friend, not your motherfucking teeth, felt you
(28:39):
beat her ass. You gotta restrain a note on the
girl and look card he said it best, got a
bag and fixed my teeth. Hope you hold No, it
ain't cheap, you tell on you five thousand dollars, dun
teeth ain't cheap. Okay, I'm tripping off the fact that
you shoved that motherfucker back up in your mother. Girl.
You could have sucked up that route. You could have
sucked it up they girl, you could have sucked up
your gums. You don't be doing that ship. You put
(29:02):
it back in your off like it was a piece
of track. Girl, what the fuck? Mm hmm. And then
another thing, I'm almost done with you. Another thing you
keep saying, Oh, he was my best friend. He's my
best friend. He's the one who got me in this.
You know what I'm saying, And he's not a taken accountability.
I did take accountability, but he's my best friend. I
didn't expect this. Listen, the moment y'all started sucking, y'all
got into a relationship, whether that be three way, four way,
(29:24):
or g one back and forth, whatever, he wasn't your
best friend no more. You don't fuck your best friend.
You can suck your best friend, but then y'all are
no longer real best friends. You understand what I'm saying.
That's hard to do. He fell in love with you, Yes,
I believe he's in love with both of y'all. That's
why he doesn't want to let you go. That's why
he got so angry with you, because the ship ain't
(29:46):
working out no more. In his perfect world, he can
have both of y'all together. He would probably even marriable
for y'all. But listen, because they have a baby, and
because they are still living together, you will never be
able to have him without her even as your best friend,
because now they have an obligation. They have a child,
and they'll probably have more. Who knows. He'll probably even
(30:06):
try another polygamy relationship with her because she did it
the first time and he enjoyed it so fucking much.
It just didn't work out with his best friend. You.
You should have left the friendship alone, and I think
you should stay gone. And then you kept saying, oh,
she's sneaky and she using him and all of that.
But when y'all all three were together, you knew all
this because that was your girlfriend too, Okay, So I
(30:30):
just think that you did what you were supposed to do.
Keep that motherfucking piece order, restraining order, whatever, because you
definitely got set up. Keep away from him. I get it.
You're gonna miss him, You're gonna you're you know, you
love him, You're concerned, you care about him. Yeah, and
I believe that he loves you and he cares about
you too. But what y'all went through, it's too damaging
to come back from with her. Definitely for her, but
(30:53):
also for you too. You understand what I'm saying. I
think that's a friendship that YA can maybe revisit later
on in life, like later, later later, right now, it's
still fucking fresh. All this just happened months ago, baby girl.
I think you need to keep that and they're going
on some ice. Even if he does call you feeding
with a long hand of spoon, you know, keep your distance.
You know, if he just has to be your friend,
(31:15):
keep your distance. But I don't think it's it's good
that you guys are friends at all, um right now,
and then you're gonna say if you want the parts two,
it's a motherfucking part two. Yes, please send me the
part two, but this is all I got for you
right now. Check back in send apart too. And I
talked to your ass next week. Girl. You'd took up
all my damn time. And just like that, we come
to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl.
(31:37):
Just hilarious. Make sure you watch Reckless Discussions tonight. It
airs only on YouTube, and make sure you catch co
parents and Therapy. Me and Jerome are setting down with
other couples that are trying to co parent effectively with
their exes. Tune into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday.
On your way to work washing clothes or whatever you
do and whatever you find your podcast, make sure you
(31:58):
always tune in in my deepest pay but with peace. Yeah.
(33:12):
Carefully Reckless is a production of I heart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio
and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back
on the air. We're gonna jove right and we got
a voice submission and it's pretty long, so that's just listen, y'all. Hey, Jess,
(00:22):
I want to reach out to say that I love
you so much and I have a story to tell you,
and it's a lot. I did send it as a message,
but it's too much information and I wouldn't even read
all of it. So I'm just going to try to
tell you and see if he can fix my mess
or just help me with some type of advice on
healing from this situation and where I should go from there.
(00:45):
So to start off, I am about to be twenty
seven years old and I had had a stew past
tips a best friend that I had for ten years.
He was a male guy, and he was a great friend,
Like he was an amazing friend, and I didn't have
any doubts about him. I never thought twice or anything like,
(01:07):
never question anything about his character anything like that. So
to start off, remind you again, we've been friends for
ten plus years, literally strictly just friends in my head.
I don't see nothing more, nothing less, literally just a
friend of friend zone. That's where he is. Don't even
found you attractive. So fast forward to a year now,
(01:28):
which is three, and in April, he decided he's alreadys
been like expressing how he felt about me or just
like sending all type of messages about how much he
loves me or inspire him and doing these things like
sitting all type of every time I post a picture,
he's sitting all types of things, like all the hard
(01:50):
eyes is super supportive. Like, but I knew that he
was floating with me for a very very long time.
But again, remind you, I friend zone that man. So
I'm not paying attention to any of it. He has girlfriends,
multiple girl friends. I'm cool with all. With some of
his girlfriends, they didn't told me so many things that
he didn't they don't went through. So I went to doctors,
(02:11):
depotments and everything with certain females that he used to date,
and they were like he they would burn each other like.
It was just so much stuff like I that I
knew about him and how he moved with women, and
he like he was he was one of those people
that could never settle down with just one woman and
be happy. He needs multiple That is something that I
know for sure, is that he needs a person at
(02:34):
all times. One person is not good enough for him.
So with me knowing that knowledge, I took into myself
and said that I would never date this guy. I
would like he is a great friend, but I don't
never see myself dating him because I've seen all the flags.
I've seen all the red flags. We talked about a lot,
we talked about both of our dating lives, we talked
(02:55):
about a lot of things to each each other. So
I always say that I would never date him because
of how he treated women. And he's one of those
guys that has money, so he thinks that he could
just buy people off or I buy this and she
wou'd be okay, like, oh, I take on a trip,
and she did get over it. So he's definitely one
of those people. So back in April, he decided to well,
(03:19):
he already knows that I like girls, So I me
and him were just talking a lot, and he kept
he was flirting more and more, and I really didn't
know about the situation that he had going on at home,
so I was just peeping that he was flirting way
more than usual. So I had said something to him like,
and I have really went back on all the messages
to see like because I didn't really remind you I
(03:41):
had of my friend zone, so I didn't see him
like flirting with me. I just was like, oh, thank you, Like, oh,
this is my friend. Like anytime he's sitting hard heart
emotives or things like that, I was just like, oh,
thank you, like I appreciate that, Like, because we're friends,
I would do the same thing. So I didn't think
that it was like flirting because I literally had strictly
in the friend zone. Everything was cut off. So we
decided to get in a pologams relationship in April with me,
(04:04):
him and his girlfriend at the time, and everything was
going good. Everything was going good, Everything was going great.
Our communication was good. Me and her, we're talking, We
were taking the kids out on play dates. We were
all three going dates together. We would do separate dates.
Were like. It was just a good vibe. For probably
two months, me and him went to Atlanta for some reason,
(04:28):
she did not go. When we got to Atlanta, everything
was cool, but his energy was off, like something was
giving me. You're being sneaky, and I was confused on
while you're being sneaky, if we all three communicate properly
and know what's going on, everything was okay. The trip
started getting messy after I posted a picture. I had
posted a picture on social media because my one of
(04:50):
my shirts had got wine spilt over it. So I
asked him for one of his shirts, and I still
used it as a nice outfit. Put it together and
I used one of his shirts. His girlfriend realized that
I had one in shirts, and then it turned left.
But remind you, we all agreed to this polygamous relationship,
so I'm confused on what's going on. Don't get me wrong,
I'm not a victim in this situation, because again I
(05:13):
walked into the situation knowing that they are in a
relationship and I'm just another person that's being added to it.
So I never was one of those people to like
cock block on their situation or if she ever felt uncomfortable,
I wanted her to voice it to me so I
can notice step back and things like that. So we
get back from Atlanta, all of a sudden, they announced
(05:35):
that she's pregnant. Didn't tell me anything about it, didn't
keep me in a loop. So it was like a
slap in the face. So me and him ended up
getting into a little disagreement, I want to say, an
argument or anything like that, because we were redep good
with communication, like we communicated very well with each other.
And it just threw me off because why wouldn't you
tell me, like, I know, y'all in a relationship, so
(05:56):
why did you just let me know? Like I'm not
a hating as bitch. So I congratulated them. I don't
want my kids right now. I already have a four
year old, so it's like, it ain't me that got pregnant.
So I'm not tripping. So we fast forward again, move
up some We all went to Vegas. Vegas was amazing. Um,
(06:18):
we went to Vegas for Mother's Day. He asked me
on that trip. I want to point this out. Every
trip that he ever asks me to go one, it
was never like he flew me out. I always paid
my half on everything anything we did. We always went
Dutch or and I always paid my half. It was
never like him doing everything for me unless it was
(06:40):
him like, oh no, let me pick this up. And
I felt like that was a man being a man.
You're doing your manly duties. We came back from Vegas
and then that's when we did the gender reveal. I've
been invited to the gender reveal. I literally helped set
up the gender reveal, helped tear down the gender reveal.
I'm near the whole time. Everything's great, everything's cordial, everybody's
talking to each other. I'm helping as much as I can.
(07:01):
I'm making sure the kid is good while they do
the thing, like just being the best person as I can,
like doing my duties, like I'm only gonna be as
genuine as I can be. So everything was okay, and
then all of a sudden, she just started getting rockier
and rockier, Like you can tell her energy changed up
and things like that. But then again, I know her
(07:23):
energy was gonna change up because you're pregnant, So now
your feelings are going to change. She agreed to the
pologamous relationship before she was pregnant, So now you are
pregnant and your feelings are changing. So I'm like, would
you like me to step back from the situation. She's
telling me, no, everything's fine. She just want to get
(07:43):
an understanding, like so now nothing is clear to her
anymore of what's really going on? One, what's the deal
of us? What we're doing, what we're are we dating?
Or am I just sucking on them? And or excuse me,
am I supposed to? Because am I just messing on them?
Until she drops the baby, like she started getting in
like if he on both of us, like and it
wasn't just me, it was both of us, Like we
(08:04):
were both confused, and we're like, what's going on? If
we all sat down and had an agreement, like where
all these feelings coming from? Now? Like is it the hormones?
Is that this? Is this? Do you want me to
just back off? Because I can do that as well.
She tells me, no, don't back off. Everything's fine, Everything's okay.
She just wanted a better understanding. So basically, I realized
that more of the stories. She only really wanted me
(08:25):
close because he told her that me and her, me
and him are friends, and then she realized that me
and him had an actual bondy and we've been friends
for ten years, so she really just wanted to get
the inside scoop on what was really going on between
me and him. Remind you, me and him, they never
touched each other none of that ship until she approved
on the pologamist relationship, and then that's when we all
three decided to touch each other. Once she starts tripping
(08:45):
and switching up, I fell back. I feel back from her,
And that's where I messed up on my end, because
I should have fell back from both of them. But
knowing that he's been my best friend for ten plus years,
me and him still at our friendship going now, I'm
not gonna lie. We definitely still was messing on each
other whenever we got a chance or whatever like that.
(09:08):
And she knows this like she knew everything. I always
communicated everything with her like when we were together, so
she won't feel like she's down or alone or she's
being not included. So anytime that we would make plans,
I would invite her. Any time he made plans, um
they would invite me. But every time she decided to
make a plan, she would invite me or nothing to
be added to it. So I already knew that she
(09:29):
had some type of feelings going on, something was going on,
but she was not trying to communicate that at all.
Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good,
but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen. We're gonna move to July.
July six, She's texting my phone reminds me, I'm still
think everything is quartil. She has not told me that
she doesn't like me, that she has beef with me,
(09:51):
that she just don't like this situation. She has not
said any of this to me at all, So I'm
still thinking everything's courtial. I'm still going over their house.
If they call them they need something, like I'm doing,
I'm helping them. If I call them and I need something,
they're helping. Like it was just so mutual. It was
still mutual. Nothing was like weird. Her energy was weird,
like when I stepped around, but everything was still of cordial. Well,
(10:11):
still do play dates with the kids. Everything was still fine.
So I thought everything was still cordroo and adult and
everybody could still talk to each other. That day, she
decided to text me, Hey, I wanted to plan a
play date with the kids. Her daughter wanted to see
my son. So we text each other set up a
play date. I think it was urban arrow or a
(10:33):
park or something like that, and I'm like, okay, cool,
Like I'll let you know, like when we can meet,
what time we meet up and things like that. She
was like, okay, cool that night I can say, like
eleven o'clock at night, I smoke, so I'm out going
to go get my stuff that I need to run
into the store getting my woods, gonna go pick up
what I need to And she decides to text my phone,
(10:55):
Hey can we meet? I want to talk to you.
So I'm like okay, sure, like yeah, we can meet,
Like I have no problem, Like what's up? Like what's wrong?
You want to talk? Like everything? Okay? Is the baby
all right? Like remind you she's fool going pregnant at
this time, she's eight months. So I'm like, it's everything okay,
as you are right, like it's late, like what's going on?
She like, I just feel like y'all playing in my
(11:15):
face and like that, like you really playing with me
and you trying me? And I'm like, how am I
trying you? Like? How am I playing with you? If
everything was agreed upon, we all talked about this situation
like it was nothing like spontaneous. Oh he cheating with
a savage. He was never allowed to touch me, none
of that. Until she knew that he had feelings for me,
(11:37):
and this is what he really wanted. And he had
to sit down with her to tell her that he
had feelings for me, and this is what he wanted.
Everything's cool. We're talking. Remind you I did some stupid ship.
So I get out my car, get into that of
her car, and we're just talking like everything's cordial. We're
talking super calm to each other. We're getting out all
of the things that we're talking about. I'm letting her speech,
(12:00):
let me speak, like we're not raising our voice at all.
Like everything super, super grown in cordial. All of a sudden,
I see a red car pull up. It's her best friend.
I said, what is this. She's like, oh no, my
phone went dead and she was the last person I
was on the phone with and she has my location,
(12:20):
so she just pulled up here. Instantly knew that was bullshit.
Her friend decides to get out of the car, so
I got her, got out of her car, and start
walking towards my car because I'm like, this is a setup,
So I'm just gonna walk away, like you're not about
to set me up. I'm not about to fight you.
I'm not about to do none of that, like you
full blown pregnant. I'm not about to do that. I'm
not abo to disrespect you. You pregnant as fun, and
(12:40):
you are my best friends woman. I'm not about to
disrespect you in no type of way like ever, because
then it's gonna mess up our refriendship and that's what
I don't want. Like, so I'm gonna keep it cordially
and keep it respectful because I will never disrespect you
like that and I will never put my hands on
a pregnant woman. So get out of her car. Going
to my car, I'm sitting there trying to find my keys,
about to drive off her friends. She's standing at my door.
(13:03):
I don't have my door shut because she's standing in
my doorway and refuses to let me close my door.
So I'm trying to find my keys in the dark
as all of this is going on. So now she's
trying to argue with me, and I'm like, no, I'm
not about to argue with you. I'm not about to
fight you, Like, can you please close my door. I'm
not about to do this. We're not about to do this, like,
let me go. I'm not even about to play these games.
(13:26):
This is petty. I'm not about to put my hands
on nobody, because if I feel like I have to
put my hands on somebody, I'm not stopping. So once
I found my keys, I closed my door. That's when
she went left. Once I put my keys in my
ignition and I closed the door, she decides to hit me.
As I'm sitting down in my car, window down, she
(13:47):
decides to hit me. My tooth falls out. I instantly
decided to put my tooth back in my mouth, like
it literally fell out from the root. So it's my shift.
It's not broke or anything. It literally fell out from
the root. She hit me like closer to of my
nose area, like in the nerve spot, so my tooth
fell out. I put it back in my mouth like
in the heat of the adrenaline. I literally shoved my
(14:08):
tooth right back in my mouth and pulled her inside
of my car through the window and start beating her
ass instantly on spot. So that's when her friend decided
to get in and was like, no, you're not gonna
put your hands on her. You're not gonna hit her.
This girl just decided to put her hands on me,
And you think I'm not about to protect myself. It's
two against one, y'all. Not about to do this to
(14:29):
me at a twelve o'clock in the morning. No, So,
as I'm on my way home, I'm calling my friend.
So I'm calling his phone, like what's going on? Like
calling him, texting me, trying to figure out, like what
the funk? Like do you even know that your girl
just came all the way on the whole other side
of town to come fight me? Like on some like
what type of ship does this? You're pregnant woman at that?
(14:50):
Let her come out the house to come fight me?
Like what type weird as ship is this? Like? What type? Me?
And whatever? Let they grow they pregnant woman leave out
the house damn near one o'clock in the morning to
go fight a motherfucker. Since when do people that she
like that go down? But I realized that she had
his phone the entire time. So every time and I'm
(15:10):
texting his phone, calling his phone, that's her replying. She's
declining all calls. So I realized that's when everything was
coming to me like boom, this is a setup. I
completely understand that. So he has nothing to do with this.
This was all her and her friend agenda. I come home,
I pressed charges because remind you this bit my tooth
fell out my mouth. So now I have to go
get surgery. I have to get an emergency surgery, and
(15:31):
I have to pay for all of this stuff. I
didn't pay literally sin with all of this stuff going on,
I didn't pay over probably fat thousand on surgeries, them
to appointments, things like that, just to make sure that
I'm great. And I'm just confused on what's going on
because he has not said anything to me, Like he
apologized on the situation and everything like that, but as
(15:54):
far as him being a man and laying she'd go down,
it was like, God, damn, was I really your friend?
Like what the fun type ship is this? But I
don't want to give you anymore on that situation. I
want to really get something on my part, Like I
just want some advice one what I should do now.
So I decided to break off all ties with both
(16:17):
of them. So it's a protection order on her and
the whole situation from April to now. He handled me
completely wrong. For us to be best friends for as
long as we did, he handled me completely wrong. He
disrespected me. He put me in situations that I should
never have been in. And it was like, after all
the ship and that I've told you, talk to you about,
and things that I've vinted to you about, and you
(16:40):
literally put me in the same predicaments. So I walked
away from everything. So now I'm asking for just to
either fix my mask or just give me some advice,
like at this point, because I don't have no friends,
like I don't have no female friends, I don't have
no male friends, I don't have no friends. So I
literally just be in the house with my son, my
four year old son, um cleaning business, and then I
(17:02):
work at the same time, like a little part of time,
a little something, So I try to keep myself busy
as much as possible. But I want to know, like
from your perspective, with this whole pologamy relationship, I know
I shouldn't have got into it. I know that for
a fact, because I can, I can answer my own
questions on that the part that I need help with
leaving that friendship completely, Like I literally dropped the friendship
(17:24):
completely just off of how he handled it, and he
wanted to point the finger at me like I was
the bad guy and he tried to make me seem
like I broke up his household, I messed up everything
that he had gone on. He literally pointed the finger
at me for everything. Like I know I could take
accountability for meeting up with the girl at one o'clock
(17:44):
in the morning, two o'clock, like twelve, I take accountability
for that, But I did not know that this girl
wanted to fight me, had been for me animosity, Like
I didn't know all of that. I knew she was
like feeling some type of way, but we kept trying
to get the information out of her, like what's going on?
And talk to us if you want me to fall
back out? Fall back? Like what is it? Like? She
was not communicating, So how can I know all of
this information? So now I'm stuck here with no friends.
(18:08):
Imagine my friend for teen plus years is now gone.
I don't have a bond with him anymore. I don't
even care to talk to him be around him, like
it discussed me now, Like to know that he's living
with a person that set me up and he's still
trying to be friends with me. Like you literally living
in the household with a person that's literally using you,
(18:29):
taking advantage of you. He tried to say that I
was using him for his money and things like that.
Remind you go back everything that we did since April
and it's December. I went Dutch or I paid my half,
no matter what. Every trip that we took, I paid
for my own flights, I paid for my own food.
I paid for my own stuff. Anything that we need,
I pay for my own stuff, no matter what. It
(18:50):
was just like I was getting fed up of a
lot of ships, like how he was like being so
nonchalant over so much stuff without a courtship that we
was going through. He wasn't a he and apologize until
someone else has said something to him. And it literally
made him put himself in my position to realize what
how he would have handled it, because he was telling
me if it was him on the other foot, he
(19:11):
would have just shot her. I said, exactly, But I'm
wrong for beating her ass doing that. She's pregnant. But
if I would have had my gun a bit, you
be dead. But let's not say that though. But just
I just want some anybody, if you would like to
hear a part two to get more information, I would
definitely send you apart too. This is a lie, and
I do apologize, but I just shoot, at this point,
(19:32):
I could have just talked to you over the phone
so I could just really figure out what's going on
so you can hear the full story. Again, I take
accountability for the things that I've done, But when will
people take accountability for the things that they do. I'm
tired of being treated like bullshit by people like you
invited me into this. Both of y'all invited me into this.
Y'all knew what was up. Y'all know what goes on.
This man fell in love with me, and now you
(19:53):
and your feelings, and it's just like damn. So now
I'm just like by myself and I'm just trying to
figure out should I should I really leave that friendship
completely alone or should I just like handle it from
a distance. I just need some help. I just really
need some help because again, that was my that was
my good, good, good friend. Um, so I just really
(20:15):
need some help on that. Now we got a commercial,
and if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm
gonna beat your ass. Listen, girl, that's the whole goddamn episode.
I can't even fit in another story, but listen, I
know you're saying that you only need help on one part.
But you shouldn't have told me all that ship because
I got something to say about everything. Everything, everything. So
(20:36):
you're gonna listen. You already seen pretty smart, You already
know exactly you know what you want to do. Okay,
so you stop talking to the friend. Let's start from
the fucking beginning, because I got a couple of jokes
for you. First of all, you called this nigga a
mail guy, as if that's not the same thing. So
you basically said this is a man man. All right, Cool,
that was just for a little after y'all been best
(20:56):
friends for templus gears. Okay, so you were prone to
exactly how he treated women before, you know, since high school,
you guys have been knowing each other like you had
the best seat in the house to see exactly how
he treated women. So if you keep that in the
back of your fucking mind, you should totally not be
shocked at anything that he does even now to take
an accountability for anything that he have me may be
(21:18):
contributed to which resulted and you getting you goddamn teeth
knocked out the fuck. He's always been non faithful, He's
always had money. So we know guys who have money,
they use that. Not all of them, a lot of
them use that as power over other people, you know,
whether that be women or men, whatever, but mainly women.
And that is a woman's weakness. A man with money,
(21:40):
I don't give a fuck. Not every woman, but a
lot of women, okay, especially these days, a man with money, okay,
because everybody's looking to be taken care of instead of
taking care of their motherfucking selves. But you also bought
to my attention that he wanted to be more than
best friends for a long time, and you kept friends
zoning it. And you also told me that you like women.
(22:00):
Obviously you're not gay, though you're bisexual, or you wouldn't
have been sucking him at any point in time because
gay is just gay by you know what that is. Okay,
So you were into women, but you were also into
men as well, had to be. So when he got
this this girlfriend who deemed it to be okay for
the polly relationship, that now was not just a girlfriend
(22:23):
and boyfriend, that was girlfriend boyfriend girlfriend. So that was
all three of y'all out of nowhere, right, And then
you said the first trip to Atlanta. He was being sneaky.
The girlfriend didn't come, and that's because she was pregnant,
you know, and just probably didn't want to travel there
and have her hormones everywhere or mourning sickness or whatever.
But you were upset first red flag. They didn't tell
(22:43):
you she was pregnant. I think if this was a
polygamous relationship, and y'all are practicing true polygamy, everybody is
supposed to know everything. It's just like a regular relationship
with just two people. You have to be honest with
your mates or mates in this case, you know every bud.
He shouldn't know everything you know, so nobody is shocked
or nobody has hurt, or nobody is betrayed or feels
(23:04):
betrayed when anything comes out. Okay, you felt betrayed, and
you did feel some type of way. You said that
you got upset. Why did you get upset if you
then turned around and said that you didn't give a
fund because you weren't the one pregnant. Was it more
so that they didn't keep it real with you. They
kept from you that they were pregnant. Is that why
you're upset? Was it upset because you felt like you
would now be less interesting to the both of them
(23:26):
because they now have a baby on the way, you know,
between them too, Like, what exactly frustrated you? Why? I mean,
why did you get so upset with that? If it
wasn't all about them just keeping it a hunted Let
me know, Hey, I'm in this relationship too. Why didn't
I know that she was having a baby. You said
Vegas was nice? Then at the gender reveal, you were
doing your duties as the second girlfriend, you know, as
(23:47):
the other girlfriend. I don't see how the funk if
you were so upset about this pregnancy, you still was
at the gender reveal doing everything you said. You helped
put it up, you helped take it down. Jesus Christ,
you involved yourself for a lot. Wait, let's just go
back a little bit. I think that you also involved
yourself in this guy's relationships before this one a little
too much. You told me that she was going to
(24:08):
the doctors with the pitches and ship because he was
burning them left and right. You were a way too
involved with the girlfriends, way way way way too involved.
But that was then. This is now okay, going forward.
You said the girlfriend eventually started acting different, out of nowhere.
Y'all just kept asking her, what is the problem? Do
(24:28):
you want me to step back? Do you instead of
waiting for her to tell you that? I think you
just should have. You just should have. You didn't really
tell me that he had a lot to say, but
from woman to woman, from her to you, I think
you should have kind of read the room, because with
you telling me this, I even already figured it out.
She was upset because she had only did this polygamous
(24:50):
relationship for him. She was never into women. I'm gonna
tell you that. That's why she had that best friend
come and whoop your ass. Sorry, she did not whoop
your way as girl. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But if
you knock a bitch tooth out, that's automatic you won.
I don't give a funk what I did to you
after you knocked my tooth out. But you'd beat my
ass if you knocked my tooth out, because you can
go and help from the bruises. I can't help from
(25:11):
a missing tooth. Jesus. So, okay, I'm sorry. We're gonna
back it up a little bit more. This story is crazy,
all right. She was never into women. She compromised herself
for your best friend with the money and the person
taking care of her, and the person that was winding
and dinning and wooing her. I also think that he
may have told her all the feelings that he has
(25:32):
had for you, because he's obviously an honest person. He
just don't give a funk because he got money. He
like I can tell his bitch is the truth and
where they're going nowhere. So I think that he literally
may have confessed to her his real love for you
and how long that he was probably chasing you, and
how you are probably the only woman that understands him
because you were his best friend for a long time,
(25:52):
and in your story that's what I got. You were
maybe the only woman that showed him that you understood him,
and you still obliged to even get a three way
relationship with him and his girlfriend and be having sex
with both of them. Now understand, when she got pregnant,
she started acting different because now I'm pregnant, now, I
don't want to bring a baby in the world with
a girlfriend and a boyfriend. I was only doing this
(26:13):
ship for you, Marquise, I just gave him my name.
I was only doing this ship for you, Marquise, but
now you're your best friend. Gonna have to stop sucking,
and we're gonna have to stop all working together. I
have a baby, I'm pregnant. Now. I want to take
our relationship and subtract her and it can just be
us and we can finally live a regular relationship life.
I think that's what she's always wanted, but she just
(26:35):
wasn't truthful enough to say it, and then she probably
felt like it wasn't her place to dismiss you, to
break up with you. The idea was brought by him,
so I think that she had already been telling him
how she felt the whole time. He just didn't tell you.
I think he knew that she didn't want polygamy anymore.
I think that he just never told you because it's
something that he enjoyed. So that's why you and him
(26:56):
were still fucking off. He never told you how she felt,
but you, in the back of your mind, you knew
exactly how she felt because in your story you're telling me,
you could have easily guessed this girl was uncomfortable with
this ship. Now it's ran its course, it's not fun anymore.
It probably was never fun, but for a man, you
tend to do anything to make him happy and to
(27:17):
keep him happy so he can keep you happy. Get
what I'm saying now. When she called and met up
with your ass, and you went, you ran to our
rescue because you still just loved her, you know, and
or whether you loved he or not, you were still
concerned about her because you seem to be a really
really good person. You just like what you like, but
you seem to be a really genuine person. So you
(27:38):
went to see what was up. You didn't know what
she had to talk to you about. I agree that
they set you up. She had her best friend come
because this nigga never relayed the message to her that
he had told you how she felt. He was supposed
to tell you. Look, look, look y'all, I think that
we just got chilled until she had a baby or
we just can't do this ship no more. That was
(27:58):
too much like right. He would have never did that, obviously,
and he probably lied to her and told her that
he did tell you that, and she just probably think
that you didn't give a fuck and you just kept
sucking him because obviously, if she had his phone to
answer text messages and all that she's been going through
the phone and y'all probably was still meeting up and
sucking all that type of ship. So she felt like
(28:18):
y'all was playing in her face, hence why she said
it t y'all playing in my face. And then da,
You're like, how, how? How? When really there was no
communication between you two girls. He knows everything, but he's
only telling one side to one person. You understand what
I'm saying, making you think that she is still sweet,
but you knew in the back of your mind it wasn't.
So the best friend, not your motherfucking teeth, felt you
(28:39):
beat her ass. You gotta restrain a note on the
girl and look card he said it best, got a
bag and fixed my teeth. Hope you hold No, it
ain't cheap, you tell on you five thousand dollars, dun
teeth ain't cheap. Okay, I'm tripping off the fact that
you shoved that motherfucker back up in your mother. Girl.
You could have sucked up that route. You could have
sucked it up they girl, you could have sucked up
your gums. You don't be doing that ship. You put
(29:02):
it back in your off like it was a piece
of track. Girl, what the fuck? Mm hmm. And then
another thing, I'm almost done with you. Another thing you
keep saying, Oh, he was my best friend. He's my
best friend. He's the one who got me in this.
You know what I'm saying, And he's not a taken accountability.
I did take accountability, but he's my best friend. I
didn't expect this. Listen, the moment y'all started sucking, y'all
got into a relationship, whether that be three way, four way,
(29:24):
or g one back and forth, whatever, he wasn't your
best friend no more. You don't fuck your best friend.
You can suck your best friend, but then y'all are
no longer real best friends. You understand what I'm saying.
That's hard to do. He fell in love with you, Yes,
I believe he's in love with both of y'all. That's
why he doesn't want to let you go. That's why
he got so angry with you, because the ship ain't
(29:46):
working out no more. In his perfect world, he can
have both of y'all together. He would probably even marriable
for y'all. But listen, because they have a baby, and
because they are still living together, you will never be
able to have him without her even as your best friend,
because now they have an obligation. They have a child,
and they'll probably have more. Who knows. He'll probably even
(30:06):
try another polygamy relationship with her because she did it
the first time and he enjoyed it so fucking much.
It just didn't work out with his best friend. You.
You should have left the friendship alone, and I think
you should stay gone. And then you kept saying, oh,
she's sneaky and she using him and all of that.
But when y'all all three were together, you knew all
this because that was your girlfriend too, Okay, So I
(30:30):
just think that you did what you were supposed to do.
Keep that motherfucking piece order, restraining order, whatever, because you
definitely got set up. Keep away from him. I get it.
You're gonna miss him, You're gonna you're you know, you
love him, You're concerned, you care about him. Yeah, and
I believe that he loves you and he cares about
you too. But what y'all went through, it's too damaging
to come back from with her. Definitely for her, but
(30:53):
also for you too. You understand what I'm saying. I
think that's a friendship that YA can maybe revisit later
on in life, like later, later later, right now, it's
still fucking fresh. All this just happened months ago, baby girl.
I think you need to keep that and they're going
on some ice. Even if he does call you feeding
with a long hand of spoon, you know, keep your distance.
You know, if he just has to be your friend,
(31:15):
keep your distance. But I don't think it's it's good
that you guys are friends at all, um right now,
and then you're gonna say if you want the parts two,
it's a motherfucking part two. Yes, please send me the
part two, but this is all I got for you
right now. Check back in send apart too. And I
talked to your ass next week. Girl. You'd took up
all my damn time. And just like that, we come
to the end of another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl.
(31:37):
Just hilarious. Make sure you watch Reckless Discussions tonight. It
airs only on YouTube, and make sure you catch co
parents and Therapy. Me and Jerome are setting down with
other couples that are trying to co parent effectively with
their exes. Tune into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday.
On your way to work washing clothes or whatever you
do and whatever you find your podcast, make sure you
(31:58):
always tune in in my deepest pay but with peace. Yeah.
(33:12):
Carefully Reckless is a production of I heart Radio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Jess Hilarious
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!