June 23, 2025 • 37 mins
Serena Kerrigan is an actress, creator, and ultimate cool girl, and yes we’re taking notes! Hear how she turned growing up into glowing up, from clubbing as a teen to conquering NYC.
Meanwhile, Serena reveals the major Bravo series she turned down and why! Plus, she lets us in on the Peacock project she shot with her hot younger man!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Casual Chaos.
This week, I have someone very exciting. You might have
seen her new show on Peacock Come Out, Older, Wiser,
and Hotter, Serena Carrigan. Welcome to Casual Kay Queen, how
are you? I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm good. I'm so glad to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm so excited for you to be here. How has
everything been with the show coming out?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
It's been amazing.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It was three years in the making, so it's crazy
for it to like finally be out for people to
see it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And I'm so proud of what we made. And did
you enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I loved it. I was binge watching all of last
night and on my ride here I was on episode five.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Okay, great, it gets kind of crazy after episode five.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well you just buried your ex. I did just do
that and made it to the show and Ali.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Isn't it a great idea to just like bury our
axes for them?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Very important?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And I love how Felix was like, I really don't
need to know about your past.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
You though it's part of my pot, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
And that killed me. It's the plot. It's literally my
pot I need to say that more writing. But you
are known as the Queen of confidence. What mind shift
did you have to really get you into that? Or
have you always been this confident?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Definitely not.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I feel like I wrote that on my Instagram bio
in like twenty seventeen. I was like, I'm the Queen
of confidence and I saved a seat for you at
my throne because I wanted to embody that, not because
I was that or I'm like coming from a place
of authority. Literally, I just wanted to become that and
realizing that I had tools that helped me become confident
that I could like help other people. And I think
for me, confidence means becoming your own best friend. Do
(01:37):
you always like your best friend? Does she piss you off?
Does she annoy you? Do you think that she has
an ugly outfit?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Sometimes?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
But do we go to bat for her? Do we
ride for her? Do we pick her up when she's down,
like if she got ghosted?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Do we say like yeah, like you're not gonna end
up with anyone, or we're like that guy, like let's
go on a day, let's.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Go have fun, Let's go out with our friends, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, So that's really what I think confidence is, and
like talking to myself in that way of being my
own best friend is really what helped me get there.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Everyone always says that you have to love yourself first
to be able to move on in a relationship anything.
So I love that whole thing because you really do
have to love yourself and be confident with yourself, because
then you're never gonna your own person.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Right And it's like not realistic that you're going to
love yourself all the time, but you could be your
best friend all the time.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Percent. So when was your rise to influencing This.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Is kind of crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So I was working at Refounding twenty nine as a
video producer for three and a half years. Two weeks
before the pandemic, I quit my job and I was like,
I want to build my empire.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
And the head of my department.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Was like what Like he like laughed, he was like okay,
And I was like I had no idea what that meant,
but I knew that I had to do with confidence,
Little Dino. It actually had to do with dating too,
and I love talking about dating, and I think that
my advice for anyone who wants to jump from their
corporate job or try something or create something is really
just like think about what you love to do and
what you love to talk about, what brings you joy,
you know, And so when I thought about that, confidence
(02:53):
was one of those things. But two weeks after I
quit my job, lockdown happened. So I was jobless, single,
stuck in the Lower East Side apartment and you know,
really confused, as many of us were, And I started
going live on Instagram every day. It was called Quarantini's
at the SFK, like five pm of like get up?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
When did SFK happen?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
When I got to college, I was like I could
literally lie about anything.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I'm just gonna tell everyone my middle name is.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
It was really me talking to myself in like your
screen of Amar again, like hyping myself up and having
this like persona that I could just kept tapping into.
Little did I know, like ten years later, I'm thirty
one and I'm still using something that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Really helped me as now like my career.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So I was getting drunk on Instagram Live and then
I was like what are single people doing? And I
had someone set me up on Instagram Live date a
blind date.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So I would go.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Live and then someone would be like, this is the
username and a purpose and would pop in and I
called that show Let's say date and I did fifteen
men in twenty twenty. We had three seasons of the
show Bumble bought like a month of episodes, like it
was crazy. I hired a producer so to vet all
the guys because it was completely blind.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Wait.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, so people would like submit their restaurants and stuff.
People were tuning the fends and neither did my boyfriend
and I was like, what were you during the lockdown?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I was like I had a tiktoks. I was doing
writing gang exactly literally same.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
But after a while I was like, okay, I'm not
a dancer, so I'm going to date professionally.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So did a network see you doing this on Instagram
live or did you go to producer saying this is
what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
At the time, like everything was on pause.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
So I hired a freelance producer and I said like,
can you help me out and bat all these men?
Like we had like an email that was like dat
ak I g I think that because the world was
ending at that time or so we thought, yeah, people
were just like, I'll do it. I'm down, And it
was kind of crazy because you were like on your
couch during lockdown watching me go on these live dates.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Well it was comical too, probably crazy.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's so funny, such a time completely unedited and it
was just like you were fly on the wall watching
me date. So that was really how it took off.
And then that kind of segued into my card games.
I have Let's Date, I've given that to you. Let's
I just gave to you. And these are games that
are like really created to help you on dates or
you know, after.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
The date I was my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Absolutely, you will have the best sex to real life,
but use protection because there have been pregnancies from this game.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
There's been proposals, pregnancies, bed's been broken, I've gotten invoices
for beds, like literally, I've like gotten pictures being like
what did you do? And I was like, I'm sorry,
I'm just a matrician. No, literally, there's magic sprinkled in
those cards. So that's really like how it took off.
Really just like I love dating, I love connecting with people,
I love talking to people, and I wanted to make
them feel more confident on dates. That's really like how
(05:22):
it became so the queen of Confidence thing kind of
trickled into that.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I love that. I mean not for a nothing. Now
I'm obsessed with card games and doing that stuff because
you love it. I don't know what it is, but
when you're like reading something with your partner and doing it, it's, oh,
well the game is telling me to do it. Let's
do it for the game exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
That's literally why.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah, none of the questions in my card game or
like action, it's not like be like, you know, like
give them blowjobs.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It's like not in there if you want to do that.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It's all actually like about intimacy and just creating connection.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And it leads to it leads to that, like there's
one question at the end of let's say it.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
That's like, what is one thing you've wanted to ask
me but you haven't yet? And that's when the guy
proposed is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That so cute?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Okay, wait, that's cute?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Really right? I was like, am I visually the wedding?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well, you're basically matchmaking at this point. Literally that should
be a second career. Have you ever cringed at yourself
on TikTok, especially from doing like the dating lives that
I had no idea about, Like did you ever sit
back and be like, well, this was all worth it,
but this was also cringe.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Oh my god, it's so cringe, all of it really,
you know. And the funny thing about TikTok is like
the algorithm just.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Feeds you old videos.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So I see people liking a video from like twenty nineteen,
I'm like, I don't even look.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Like myself anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Like I used to have bleach blonde hair, eyelash extensions
like Translas.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Everyone went through that phase and it was honestly, I
did that my senior year of high school, so five
years ago. It was the thing.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
It was a thing. It was a time.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
But in general, yeah, like a lot of the content
I've made is cringe, But who cares?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Like, once you realize that.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
No one actually cares about what you're making or who
you are, like they're really thinking about themselves, it's so liberating.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, Like people don't actually care.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
They might leave a comment, they might see something mean,
they might set it to their friends, but like they're
really thinking about themselves.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And the way that.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I proved this theory is, I want you to tell
me three Instagram stories that you tapped through yesterday verbadeim
like text on screen?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Who said it? What do they say?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I tap all the time, but can you remember?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So now you can't remember single, no, not one of them,
but you probably remember the stories you posted yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Oh probably, Yeah, that's only worry about yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So how liberating is that?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Like you're tapping all day and you don't even like,
you don't even remember what you're seeing. So that really
goes to show you that no one cares. And like,
so what I would say is like it's okay to
be cringe.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Also it's okay to delete the video if you don't
like it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
But like I never was afraid of just going out
there and doing it. That dating show so funny, it's
so cringey, Like I think it brought people a lot
of joy during a dark time.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And also it.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Definitely cemented me as like I don't want to call
myself a dating expert, but like I dated a lot
of guys and I loved that the dates were blind
and I really went into a open minded.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
But did you actually ever meet these guys? Oh? I decided?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Oh, I did, oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
For the last season, I had my audience pick a
winner because I couldn't, and they picked a winner and
he ended up flying out to New York till for
the finale, got him a hotel production budget. Oh well,
just me, yeah, like me to stay at the hotel
with you. He's like no, and I was like, okay, fair.
It didn't work out, but like the audience was like
so obsessed with it, and I thought I was in love.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I wasn't. I figured that out later.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But then he went on too Hot to Handle and
I'm like, no, I made I set you up for them.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Oh yeah, like literally, there's Jaws being dropped in the studio.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
No. Literally, I was fuming. I was like, do I
get some kind of credit? But then he like got
kicked off the show as a villain, so it was
for the best. I think it was more about confidence
in dating and realizing that, like you're gonna date a lot,
and like you might not like the person, it doesn't
mean that they're a bad person, just means that they're
not for you. And that's the same thing when someone
rejects to you. It doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.
It just means that the person didn't like you that much,
(08:35):
and that's okay, there's someone that will.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I feel like COVID also it either made people have
tough skin or made them fall off the ladder right.
Also with that, though, everyone was I think more confident
doing that because it was behind a screen.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
For sure, there was a full audience watching them.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Though I literally would have to be like, don't read
the comments, because you know, the comments would come up
and people would like have them so much fun like
commenting that was also part of the show.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But I would always be like, over the comments, just
look at me.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah, but yeah no, I mean like I had to
be funny, engaging, pay attention to the audience, pay attent
to the producer it's texting me. But also like make
them feel comfortable on a date, because it's important too that,
like they're a human being and they deserve that.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And maybe everyone just was in a moment, because.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I think ever was the moment. I still wish they were.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I feel like the internet's gotten a little scarier since COVID.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
One hundred percent. I also feel like dating in general,
I don't think it's easy at all. R Right now,
my friends are like, Giya, you're so lucky that you
have a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
How did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I met him at the Jersey Shore going into college.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
This is what I would say to your friends.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Stop saying it's hard, because you create your plot, like
you literally, like your words really cement your reality. And like,
if you keep saying that dating is hard, it's going
to be hard. If you say it's an adventure, it
can be challenging on figuring it out. It'll happen when
it's supposed to happen. That's a way better outlook, and
that energy like will make you magnetic.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I agree that's the whole thing too, though I feel
like you do have to love yourself too, and to
be that confident person out.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
In the dating world, you have to know that your
person is out there.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah, because I also just feel like when you're not
confident with yourself and you go out and try to date,
your insecurities like almost radiate from your body for sure.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And also you settle for less than you deserve because
you're like, oh my god, like there's no other guy
out here that's like paying attention to me, so like
I have to just like panner to him. And like like, no,
you really do have to be at a place where you.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Know what you deserve so important?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How did you ever get over worrying about what people
thought of you? Like do you read the comments, like
even now with your show Aeron on Peacock, does that
overwhelm you? Because this show obviously is so important to
you and you've been working three years on it, so
with everything, and you know your personality and your confidence,
do you ever think you mask that.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I actually like wish I had thicker skin. I'm so
sensitive and I think that.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
That's why I had to build a SFK persona. No,
I'm such a teddy bear. Like that's what my boyfriend
calls me. He calls me a teddy bear, Like I'm
so sensy. And yeah, like I obviously seen some you know,
like reviews or comments or things from the show, and
it is hurtful, but it's also like then you go
make it, Like it was really hard to make this show,
and it was like an incredible process and I had
(11:06):
a joy making it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's so easy to stait and criticize something.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Of course, the amount of people that worked on it,
the amount of crew that were so incredible to work with.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
It's art, and like that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
When you create something and you put out into the world,
people are going to say, you know, their thoughts. You
have to also realize that, like it comes with the territory,
as you know, you better build a thick skin because
that's what this world is.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
My parents said something great.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
They were like, at least people are talking about your
show and reviewing it, Like people would killed to have
something reviewed of themselves, right, whether it's a product or show, whatever,
it is.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
The fact that it's just out in the world being
talked about and you're getting the press about it. Take it.
Take it for sure, and take the negative comments with
a grain AsSalt one hundred percent. It's just not even
worth it. And it's so incredible that you even created
this production in general, and that you can say this
is my show, and that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I appreciate that so much, and it's such an important
reminder that like people are gonna always talk, so you
might as well just do what you want.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
To do exactly right. I mean I felt it comments
at this point.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Same And people are like, you're deleting your comments, and
first of all, it's my page it's my video. I
don't even see them. Yeah, of course we're gonna filter them.
Why do I need your bad energy?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I get those comments all the time. Oh, Gia, come on,
you're deleting your comments. I'm like, no, babe, honestly, the
abs deleting them for me exactly. So you don't want
to go onto your photo and you're like, oh, this
was such a cute post and see negativity. What you
don't see is better And I think it makes me
healthier and just more stable not seeing them rather than
seeing that.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Out of sight, out of mind.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
And it's so because like the amount of amazing positive
feedback I've gotten about my show, it's so incredible, and
then you get that one mean comment and it just
like sticks in your head and that sucks. So it's
like it really is about filtering it out for sure.
Like I'm not one of those people. So I gooes that,
like goes on Reddit and reads itarch Like, why would
you invite that negativity into your Like you have people.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
In your life. I hope you do.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
You know whoever's listening that like are supportive of you
and will give you constructive feedback. I think it is
good to be surround yourself. People that aren't yes man no,
I will like tell you hey, like you could have
done this better, or like I think you could say
this in a different way.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Those are people that you care about. Their opinions.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
You can't take, you know, crop from people you don't
even know that are like user of five four three
two one.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I'm like, who are you get a username? Stay on business?
If you want to talk to me, let's have a conversation,
Let's have a zoom. But you won't do that.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Come on Instagram live with me. Literally. I feel like
a lot of people love to know what influencer events
are like, and if they're all, you know, talked up
to what they are, I feel like it's a hit
(13:32):
or mess right. Sometimes you go there, do what you
gotta do and leave. Other times I really do enjoy myself.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Did you enjoy yourself at my niches and nooks? And
you're amuzing like you come in in your energy. It's
such beautiful energy. And it's hard because you know what
is the intention behind an influencer event, usually just to
get content or to meet the brands.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It really is as much as people think it's social
hour for us it's really not. Half the time I'm
walking into an influencer event to meet the social media coordinator,
the person that handles their brand partnerships. Because it's a
business meeting, you're going in there as almost like after
your corporate job, you go out for drinks with your coworkers,
(14:15):
or you go meet up and have a meeting with
another company. You're forming a relationship. And then, yes, do
you meet other influencers there. Sure, it's really fun for
us to you know, meet other influencers form relationships, like
that was my first time meeting you, but we hit
it off, you know, and it is fun to meet
other people, But you really are going there to form
(14:36):
a relationship with the brand.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I think it's inherently transactional, and so that's why that
we've heard we've seen many videos of people complaining and
feeling like people aren't spreading the love.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Which like, is so fair. Also, I remove myself from
some of those events.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Sometimes I come in with a clear goal, like is
my goal to make friends, or is my goal to
meet the brand reps? Is my goal to take content?
Like you have to really go in with it. But
it is a job, and I think that that's the mistake.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
They think that we're just oh invited and it's for
the brand and that's it, and there's a lot behind it.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm very also much team like not talking shit about
other influencers, Like I don't like doing that online, like
going online.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I think that we have to protect one another.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I think it's the first female founded industry where like
we are dominating this industry and it's important to like
stick up for one another. I know that's not really
the question that you asked, but I think it is
important to note.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
What was your take on, you know, the New York
influencer drama that we're.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
All boring, all boring.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm no influencer, I'm an icon, So like, I don't
know what to say about that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
I felt so bad because this past weekend at Parker House,
I actually met Danielle. They're the best, by the way,
so sweet, and she looks at me and she was
like to her boyfriend like she's more famous than me,
and I go, girl, no, like, don't even say that.
She was so beautiful, so sweet, great, And I think
everyone just has their own way of creating content, but
I also their content comes up on my free page
(15:52):
that's the type of content that I genuinely like to see. Lifestyle, beauty, fashion,
That's what I enjoy. So everyone enjoys different content, But
why are you gonna call like just oh, this group
of friends boring.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I also think like at the end of the day,
women get a lot for like being successful.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I think it's hard. I think that it's such a
new industry.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
And also I think the thing about it, it's like
it's democratized, right, like anyone could blow up overnight, anyone
could be the next Alex or so because of that,
there's a lot of animosity towards people that have made
it or have followings that are like why not me?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Why her?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And then that creates that like feeling of jealousy, and
I think that that's what it is. Do I think
that like, yes, there needs to be more people of
color and black creators in the spotlight, and typically the
algorithm might favor white creators absolutely, And I think that
that's part of what the conversation was. But in general,
like these blanket statements of like all in NYC in
placers are boring, is just.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like become one and make it less boring.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, it's so easy to criticize kind on It is true.
It really does take a lot, you know, every day
for us to like get up preate content post. Some
days we don't feel like doing it. Some days maybe
we don't want to post online and see the comments
and deal with it. They probably felt so just marriage
to post online for a little bit, because why would
you want to receive the hate and then you know what,
(17:04):
they honestly picked back up better than ever.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
It could be a scary space, but you also just
like have to trust you of the best intentions and
like show up as a nice person. Yeah, I think,
like if you don't talk about people and like your
supportive of others, Like I don't know, I think that
that's like the best you can do.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I agree, you talked about having a major glow up
and you are stunning. We need to know the tips
and tricks, so don't tell everyone, Okay what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I think like the eyelash extension is over.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I used to bleach blonde hair like chopped, although I
love a bob, but I don't know. I think it's
about leaning more into like your natural.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Features, if that makes sense. Not to say that I
don't have a lash live lesson I have highlights.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Like when I say natural, I mean that very I
don't mean that like actually a surface level. I made
a video like, you know, kind of making fun of
how I used to look and someone calm day. You know,
you shouldn't put your former, younger self down, And I
think there is some validity to that where it's like
being in your twenties and even your thirties, whatever age
you're at, like it's about experimenting with your look and
figure out who you are. And I feel like I'm
(18:03):
more comfortable with myself now, but like it's okay to
try different things, die your hair, like figure who you are.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
That would be the tip for the glove, I agree.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I mean even now, just little things. I don't learn
nearly as much makeup. You know, I'll do a skin
tint instead of foundation. It just makes the world of
a difference. You know, why take it on when you
can just you know, have your natural skin coming through.
You also have a new book coming out, Let's Date.
What is your best piece of dating advice?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
The one that I said earlier, which is like the
way you talk about your dating life is so important.
It really creates the reality so like really try to
refrain from saying things like it sucks, I'm never going
to meet someone.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
It's so hard.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Stop saying that that's bad energy. You got to like
really change the way your mindset and your mentality, because
I think that you become more open too. I think
obviously you have to really work on the relationship with
yourself because if you don't, then like you will accept
things that you don't deserve. And it could be very
subtle things, but you'll kind of like turn a blind
eye to like, you know, maybe him not being as
responsive or like, and then I would say, like for
(19:00):
a first date, two drinks and ditch, Like, you do
not need a third drink. Nothing good ever happens after
the third drink. They need to earn their time with you.
And I think that two drinks two hours is enough
for a first day.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And every time I've stayed longer, I've read.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
It and like, I don't know, it's just like it's
not your best self. If we're talking about heterosex relations,
like they're men, Like they're hunters. If they want to
see you again, they will text you twenty four hours
and they'll see you again.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I couldn't agree more. You're now in an amazing healthy relationship.
But what was your worst New York City dating story?
Oh my god, I have so many Wait how many
people have you dated?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
They will like literally like five hundred, Like my diary
goes nuts.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
This is why I have to write the book.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like I was like, I'm ready, the memoir is gonna
go crazy too, but that I need some more time.
I dated fifty people alone on Instagram Live and twenty twenty.
So think about how many other people I've dated. It's
had so much experience.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I've only had two boyfriends. Love love that for you,
But I'm like to my sisters, you guys come to
me for everything. I know everything, Maybe I.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Don't you do, Like it's listen, it's about having a
healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think I did a lot of things for the plot.
This is in the show. It's an EPI five. Basically,
I just remember, like I met this guy. We went
on this first date. I had the best time, and
then for the second day he was like, I'm gonna
cook dinner at your apartment, which like seemed really romantic,
but like it wasn't because like I don't own like
anything for the kitchen, so like I spent like literally
hundreds of dollars like pots, pans, like serving bulls because
(20:18):
I wanted to seem so legit.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
He cooked me pasta which was like sex scene.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Sweet, but then like didn't clean up, and so it
was like the next morning was just like gross in
my kitchen?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Or was that my job?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
And then he ghosted, so I was like, I don't know,
Like the pasta.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Was good, but it wasn't that good, you know?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
And also why couldn't you go to his apartment.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
He didn't have a kitchen. No, no, like I can't.
I feel like you just used me for my kitchen.
Now that I'm thinking maybe he needed dinner. He was
probably hungry. Yeah, oh my god. Okay, so your boyfriend
Felix is younger than you. Yeah, are there any times
where you feel the age gap? Only like when I
want to watch movies, I'm like, have you seen like
Sex and the City, which is fair like he's a guy,
(20:57):
so like it's like but we played the first couple times,
so he's like.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It kind of like looks like old. I'm like, no, no,
like that gets iconic, or like the movie White Chicks.
Have you ever seen.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Of course it's a classic.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay, Like he hasn't seen it?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Why, Like I don't know, like how old to say?
He's twenty five, Oh okay, so like around my age.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But well now, like I'm like, what's his excuse?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, no, he doesn't have an agass movie ever. My boyfriend,
for example, didn't watch Greece, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Like, how okay, he's definitely hasn't seen Grease. It's literally
my favorite movie ever. Or sound in music like, but
those are more like girly. I guess those are for
the girls a little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, musicals, I guess. But then him and I were
Greece probably yeah, a couple of years ago, and I'm like,
do you even know who you are? No idea.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I think that that's only the times that comes up
where we'll like be looking for a movie and it
was like made in like twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
He's like, oh, like, look, let's get something more current.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
I'm like, okay, Honestly, like I think, if anything, it's
more like a lot of people are like when are
you gonna get married? When are you gonna get engaged?
I really don't feel a rush. We haven't even hit
two years yet, so like there isn't a rush. I
think because of my age, people would assume that that's
what I want. Obviously I've talked about it. It's definitely
gonna happen. Maybe if he was in as thorties, it
would happen faster and it would accelerate. But like, we're
going on our pace and there's no right pace to
(22:05):
go out.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Are you looking to have kids and stuff?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I'm mad for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Wow, a whole big family.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, well we're both only children, so like we're like,
hell no, we gotta have more than no way.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, okay, wait, so you really want your kids to
have a sibling?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
What would be your perfect number if you could, like,
you know, light your scratch.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Two or three? What about you? Like, what was your experience?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
I'm forever grateful that I have four sisters, so we're
all best friends. The house is never quiet, you're never bored.
You always have a sibling to go to.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
So sisters is iconic.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
It's great, it's so fun. You have to like, first
of all, be like very financially well off to take
care and provide for your four children. Me just watching
my mom over the years college closed, especially if you
have girls. Girls are so much more expensive than guys
and traveling. Thank god, we've always been Okay, I can't speak,
but my mom always says that she was the one
(22:54):
running around taking care of all of us, and my
dad was like by the bar enjoying a drink. So
my perfect number is like two. My boyfriend wants three,
and I'm like, but then the odd numbers.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Start the problem.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Me and my boyfriend were both born and raised New
York City, so we're going to be here, and I
feel like having three in New York is like crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
So where did you grow up in New York?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I grew up on the Upperast Side and then he
grew up in Brookland.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So he's always been in the city. Yeah that's how
you met him. Yeah, I went on his podcast. I
literally didn't what I was talking into.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Neither did he.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Honestly, he thought I was interesting, but I don't think
he was trying to like sleep with me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I love that. So is he in the influencing world?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
He does podcast and then he's like in venture and
like is really interested in like building businesses and stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Oh so cool. So like a lot of like entrepreneurial
all shit stuff Oka.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
But I do bring him to a lot of the
influencer events.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
And stuff, and I mean that's fo he wants to
go with you. My friend thinks like, oh gee, I'm
like invading your space.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I'm like, no, no, no, what does your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So he has his own live streaming network for sports cars.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah, it's really nice to be with men that are
like doing their own thing. And I have like our
entrepreneurs in that sense because we're so independent too.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
You know what makes your relationship work and how is
it different from your past relationships? Like do you think
he's the one? Do you really see a future with him?
Even though of the age difference.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
The age difference, like isn't a thing, Like we're six
years apart. Our parents were both six years apart. Like
I think majority. I always used to think it was age,
And I think he supersedes my level. I think he
has the majority of a forty year old. That's just
because of his upbringing. He's also European, He's French. And
this is actually a great piece of dating advice. I
used to set my hinge to like if I was
twenty nine or like thirty and above, like I would
never go younger. I was like, there's no way, Like
(24:33):
I have a business, I'm like a battie, Like I
need like an older guy. Younger guys won't get it,
and like that was a big misstep on mine because
I just completely exed out a whole group of incredible
men that, yeah, might be younger, but we all met,
you know, men in their thirties forties that are still
like babies, right, So and so I think it's about
really like opening up, letting go of your prejudice, which
I had. And I remember when we first started dating
(24:55):
and I found out his age, I was like, oh
my god, what.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And then like when he reassured me, it was like,
it's not the thing.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
A lot of my girlfriends have been older, or like,
I'm just very mature for my age. I was like, cool,
it literally hasn't come up except for like white chicks. Yeah,
what made him different? I think it's that from the beginning,
I wasn't editing myself. I wasn't pretending, I wasn't acting,
I wasn't s FK. I really was me, and he
saw me for me and he loved me for that.
And I think that that's what you really need to
look for. I found that before when I date, I
(25:20):
would always want to say the right thing, the right joke,
like make myself a certain way, and like you really
have to just be yourself, which is such a like
corny thing to say, but it's really true. And I
think another thing that makes us where like we're really
really excellent communicators. So like things come up, conflict comes up,
and I think that I grew up with divorce parents,
so I thought that like conflict like meant the end
you have to do whatever you can do to not
(25:42):
have conflict in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But that's never going to happen. It's actually about how
you work through.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
How we are able to like have a disagreement and
we don't like yell at each other or like get
upset about it. I had a relationship when I would
get in a fact with my boyfriend, he would like
leave or like and I couldn't reach him for days.
I'm like, that's crazy, Like you have to be able
to really work through.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Leave or you scream at each other and or the
one silent tree when the one person always has to
be right.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Oh no, no, no, So with us, it's like when we
have a problem.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
We both want the resolution to be where we're both happy,
not I was right, You're wrong.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
It's like how can we see ey to eye?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Hear?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
But that also creates such a healthy, stable, just environment
for your relationship. But it also probably makes the both
of you also so confident in your relationship. For sure,
when you're doing like that toxic fighting both go crazy,
then it makes you both insecure in the relationship terrible.
So you grew up in New York City and your
mom actually created the show My Super.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Sweet Sixteen, and she works out on TV and she
created that show. She didn't let me have one because
she was afraid that, like I would come off as
a brat, which is fair, Like they did make the
girlly scene that way. It's a reality show about girls
that would have their sweet sixteen. They would always get
a range Rover. They would also like get like a
pimple before like the party, and like it was like drama,
but it was like tonic. She was just like, you
can't be honest, we don't have the typonoey. We're not
spending like hundreds of thousands of dollars on a party.
(26:53):
But it was so epic.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah, because well, the parents would obviously pay for all
of it. Yeah, of course. So what was your child's
like growing up living in New York City. I always
imagine growing up in New York City like a girl.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I mean, like I didn't have that kind of money,
but a lot of my friends did. It was a
level of wealth that was like kind of insane, but honestly,
like worked out.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
In my favor because that's why I had so much drive.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Honestly, like growing up like that, I was like, whoa,
I want some of these things, you know, but it
was like everyone had at Hampton's house. A lot of
my friends had drivers, like so much.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Access to money.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
And while that could be great on some level, also
the downfall was I think that instead of parents giving
the kids attention they would give them money, they were
really actually losing out on what.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
They needed the most.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
And a lot of people that I knew, you know
growing up, like ended up going to rehab or like
having serious drug problems, just like had no drive, no anchor, right,
and so that was the downfall. Also very awesome world,
but yeah, like we didn't have basements to drink in
like in New Jersey, like we did go clubbing. Couldn't
even go to bars, like in New York you could
go clubbing because they wouldn't care. Like I remember once
I went to Lavo and I like handed in my
(27:58):
fag idea. I was six sixteen. I was like, also
the girl that got everyone in the fake id's like
they were so bad. He looked at it, he goes,
you've ever been arrested before? And I literally snatched the
idea and like I literally ran home. Growing up in
the private school system, like that was very gossip girl.
But on the flip side, like growing up in New York,
the wonderful thing about it is like taking the subway
when you're like twelve years old, you're around every type
of ethnicity, race, socioeconomic class. Like you're really like you're
(28:20):
so not judgmental because you're not in a car, Like
you're literally like rubbing elbows with every.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Type of person.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
And I think that that's what's so beautiful about growing
up here, and the level of independence.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
That you have at such a young age can only imagic,
like all the time, like just so independent.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
And I think at the end of the day, like
if you have great parents that raise you and like
that you know, care about your well being, like you're good.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
You made such a good point though, because you really
do open up your children just so many different things.
But then I do also see the downfall of not
showing your kids the love. That makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I know that is very awesome girl too. It's
very like Chuck Bass coded. Oh yeah, there's so many
of him.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
And Blair when she was like begging for it for sure,
I know it really was.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Everyone asked me that, and honestly, it's true. There was
a lot of similars. And also the show was filming
when I was in high school. I was obsessed. Also,
my name is Serena. My mom's name was Lily, like
the main character show God.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Which is crazy. There was like a lot of weird overlaps.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, when they brought the show back, I actually ended
up meeting the creator, Josh Schwartz is his name.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I was like, can I please come on make a
cameo music? For sure? And then the show got canceled.
Did you watch the reboot?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No? I didn't. I was in like the background because
my mom would bring me on auditions and all the
time in New York, it's literally on Housewives. My agent
at the time called my mom and like, did you
want to be an extra Gossip Girl? I was like yes,
and I'll watch gossip Girl over and over again till
the end of time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
And Felix is kind of giving Dan right, like with
the Brooklyn.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Thing podcast was a writer, same thing. What was the
most New York City thing you did as a child
that you didn't realize at the time?
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Clubbing at sixteen? Like that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I really did not go to the clubs until like
I was twenty. Yeah, but I would never even try,
like a whole broken bar or a Jersey shore bar
until I was twenty one. That would just never happen.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
But think about it, these kids would just be like you,
here is my card, and the clubs don't care, like
they would get paid.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
That was insane, Like thinking back, oh, crazy.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Prom We like took a yacht sailing around the Hudson River,
Like it was nuts.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Like there was moments like that that were really iconic.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I don't know what happen now anymore because of social
media and stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Even the little things like renting a shorehouse. My boyfriend's
cousin all their friends rents at a Shorehouse. They're seniors
in high school. They got kicked out within hours of
them being there. Right, are you a Bravo fan? And
what is your favorite franchise? I heard you were also
asked to be on Summerhouse, but you turn it down.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
First of all, it's so weird because, like I legit
feel like I watched you grow up, which is so
crazy because like you're such a mature, young, lovely woman.
But like, I literally can't watch your mom's season obviously
all of them when I was younger, and your mom
is an icon, but we're so fucking cute.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Obviously I love all the Housewives. I stopped watching now.
I will say nothing's like the OG, which I'm sure
you can agree. I could agree nothing's like the OG Summerhouse.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I mean listen, Like, did they offer and I turned
it out? No, they asked to jump on.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
The call with me and like kind of do that
interview process?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah, and I've done it and I've definitely entertained it.
They asked me for Housewives too, I'm like, I'm not
house I feel like for the pot. I think for me,
it's like my mom worked on TV, worked in unscripted Yeah,
So I saw the behind the scenes a lot, and
I think that it's a scary thing when you're on
these shows which like you can attest to and you
don't have control over your edit, and you.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Also really need to be open with letting your entire
life out there, like everything rrect and if you don't
want something aired or brought up, choice, sorry if someone
brings it up and it's juicy and.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
You have no control of your edit.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
So I think that I owe it because of that,
because of her influence on like my mom.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
It's just like I feel like I've never been able to.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I think it would be really fun, yeah, but I
also think, like again, I'm sensitive and I don't know
if I'm ready for that. Like I think the Housewise
themselves are amazing, but I think the show isn't as
good because maybe it's that like want to control over
how you're perceived.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
That's where the ganging up and investigation also comes in.
So it's like, Okay, we'll team up these four girls
to go against those three girls and gather all the
stuff that we can on those three because there's always
a person every season that gets ganged up on this season, Ah,
they trashed my mom, all right, they went at her.
(32:12):
Then next season it'll be this person. And that's how
it is. Every season. They'll you'll have your down seasons,
or you'll have your seasons where they make you look
really good and you have a great edit. But I
feel like housewives, the women are obviously older. I know
they're trying to make it more into a younger demographic
or you're not even younger demographics. Maybe because I kind
(32:33):
of know how to like play the game a little obviously,
if there was something in my life that I was
like no, But I'm already at this point where my
life is so public and I really do give my
audience everything and give my fans everything. I really don't
hide anything. I wouldn't say I would be opposed to it.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I love it, and I'd watchings.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
As you were saying, like the og is better like
housewives that have families and young children and kids. It's
more enjoyable to watch them from the start to the end.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So true, and that's why I.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Feel like, you know, if one day that ever happened,
like me becoming a housewife, I think that would be
Andy Cochen's dream. They need thing Jersey back, how did
you come up with the idea of your show, because
it really kind of is like an autobiography in a way. Yeah,
so like how did that all come into play?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
So I did a confidence comedy like one woman show.
I've done it like all over the country. I've never
done it in LA before. So I knew that I
wanted to use all of that, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
As a tool. You're also kind of manifesting your dream
right of going to LA.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Exactly, it was a two for one deal. And then
so I knew I wanted that to be in the show,
but it couldn't be the whole thing. Like I didn't
want it to be like a comedy special. I wanted
there to be a binary between SFK and Serena and
like feeling you have this persona online that you're playing
because I think that's relatable. I think y'all can relate
to that somemree and then the person that you're in
real life like that kind of like friction and tension
between the two. And so I knew that I wanted
(33:55):
to ce screen in real life. And then when I
was thinking about what that story was was brainstorming. I
was talking to the development executive NBC because I was
stressed about it.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I was like, I don't know what to do for
the other part. And he was like, you know what,
let's not focus on the show. Let's just talk about
your life, what's been going on?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Catch me up, which was so great because it almost
when you're so trying to like find an answer, like
you can't so like take yourself out of it. And
I was like, oh, you know, I'm so exhausted, like
I just did this road trip with Felix, like by accident,
our flight got canceled. We drove from Montreal to New York.
It was like hailing, like we couldn't see. I can't drive.
And he was like, that's the show. That's sow you
going to LA is the show. And I was like,
oh my god. And so then it was so fun
(34:31):
to write because I was really like.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Wait, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah, right, it was literally an experience of my life.
And I was like, you're right, that's so interesting. Like
we're driving to LA. Everything goes wrong, We're being tested.
And you know, when you're taking a road trip with anyone,
like or a trip in general.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
People always say it you either know if you're gonna
like be friends with this person for life, be with
this person for life after a trip.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
So that's really what it was. And I really wanted
it to feel real. Like someone asked me, oh, was
it a reality show? I'm like no, but I mean
you write what you know, and I wanted it to
feel real, authentic to like what I'm going through because
I knew that people would then like relate to it
versus trying to create like some kind of dramatic, you
know story. It was really like a very simple story
about like a couple going to LA together and then
(35:12):
like them being confronted with things in the relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And it was fun to have Feelix act. But she
did a great job.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I was like, we're going to acting school because I
didn't even think for a second like Kenny act Like.
I was like, can you do this with me? And
he was like for sure, just like an amazing partner.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Support too with everything. That's awesome. That's all you could ask. No, literally,
you have a saying to do it for the plot? Yes,
what is the craziest thing you've ever done for the plot.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Recently went to a restaurant and I heard the Taylor
Swift was there and I was like, I have to
give her my card game, and so Felix was at home.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I put my card game. It's such a story. He
put my card game in an uber package.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
I left the restaurant. Millions of Pop Rozzy fans already
waiting outside. So I was like, Okay, she's here. I
grabbed the card game and I'm sitting there and we
went to the corner store, eating everything, drink everything.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Everyone's filing out of the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
All of a sudden, I see like Blake Livez's incredible
hair or somebody.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Were there when they left the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, no, no, I wasn't just there.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I was.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was there. I would never go up to someone ever.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
I knew she was going to exit and I was
sitting at the bar, so I knew she was going
to pass right by me.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So it was Ryan, Blake, Taylor, and Travis and I literally.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Was like, Hi, I'm such a fan, and I created
this car gament. I think you'd really love it. And
she literally looked at it and she goes, oh my god,
thank you so much, but no thank you, but think
like it was so sweet. I don't think she could
take it from me. If she started taking things from fans,
she'd probably be dead, Like I think it would be
too much. It could have been like poison. It looks
like a cigarette, yeah, like a box, which was on purpose.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It was probably.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Terrified the level in which she actually like responded and
was so sweet. But guys, my friend was like secretly
recording it and my face like when she was like
thank you, but like no.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I was mortified.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
This is the worst of my life.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I put her in this position where she had to
say no, like I like. But then I got over
because it's such an iconic story for the plot.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Like who cares it?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
She said, She's tell her face And by the way,
I kept the game that she rejected. One day, I'm
going to meet her and I'm gonna be like, funny
story and We're going to be it's all good. I
was so scared. Even afterwards, I was obviously felt about like,
oh my god rejection, but I was like, wait, this
was literally so sick and like we interacted. You miss
one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. I'm
so glad that I know, but the fact that you
(37:13):
did it, it's like, I.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Mean she wait to see this clitch. She will she
cut it down.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
My mom actually met her at Coachella one year and
she knew who my mom was, so I was like, Okay,
maybe she will see this cloud?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Does it live? And feel to live my dream? Gossip
girl Taylor Love obsessed.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
And that is all we have today. But Serena, thank
you so much for coming on today's episode of Casual Chaos.
You were such an amazing guest.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
You're so wonderful, truly you and best of luck with everything.
She's so happy for you.
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Casual Chaos.
This week, I have someone very exciting. You might have
seen her new show on Peacock Come Out, Older, Wiser,
and Hotter, Serena Carrigan. Welcome to Casual Kay Queen, how
are you? I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm good. I'm so glad to be here with you.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm so excited for you to be here. How has
everything been with the show coming out?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
It's been amazing.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It was three years in the making, so it's crazy
for it to like finally be out for people to
see it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And I'm so proud of what we made. And did
you enjoy it?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I loved it. I was binge watching all of last
night and on my ride here I was on episode five.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Okay, great, it gets kind of crazy after episode five.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Well you just buried your ex. I did just do
that and made it to the show and Ali.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Isn't it a great idea to just like bury our
axes for them?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Very important?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And I love how Felix was like, I really don't
need to know about your past.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
You though it's part of my pot, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
And that killed me. It's the plot. It's literally my
pot I need to say that more writing. But you
are known as the Queen of confidence. What mind shift
did you have to really get you into that? Or
have you always been this confident?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Definitely not.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I feel like I wrote that on my Instagram bio
in like twenty seventeen. I was like, I'm the Queen
of confidence and I saved a seat for you at
my throne because I wanted to embody that, not because
I was that or I'm like coming from a place
of authority. Literally, I just wanted to become that and
realizing that I had tools that helped me become confident
that I could like help other people. And I think
for me, confidence means becoming your own best friend. Do
(01:37):
you always like your best friend? Does she piss you off?
Does she annoy you? Do you think that she has
an ugly outfit?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Sometimes?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
But do we go to bat for her? Do we
ride for her? Do we pick her up when she's down,
like if she got ghosted?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Do we say like yeah, like you're not gonna end
up with anyone, or we're like that guy, like let's
go on a day, let's.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Go have fun, Let's go out with our friends, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, So that's really what I think confidence is, and
like talking to myself in that way of being my
own best friend is really what helped me get there.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Everyone always says that you have to love yourself first
to be able to move on in a relationship anything.
So I love that whole thing because you really do
have to love yourself and be confident with yourself, because
then you're never gonna your own person.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Right And it's like not realistic that you're going to
love yourself all the time, but you could be your
best friend all the time.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Percent. So when was your rise to influencing This.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Is kind of crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
So I was working at Refounding twenty nine as a
video producer for three and a half years. Two weeks
before the pandemic, I quit my job and I was like,
I want to build my empire.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
And the head of my department.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Was like what Like he like laughed, he was like okay,
And I was like I had no idea what that meant,
but I knew that I had to do with confidence,
Little Dino. It actually had to do with dating too,
and I love talking about dating, and I think that
my advice for anyone who wants to jump from their
corporate job or try something or create something is really
just like think about what you love to do and
what you love to talk about, what brings you joy,
you know, And so when I thought about that, confidence
(02:53):
was one of those things. But two weeks after I
quit my job, lockdown happened. So I was jobless, single,
stuck in the Lower East Side apartment and you know,
really confused, as many of us were, And I started
going live on Instagram every day. It was called Quarantini's
at the SFK, like five pm of like get up?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
When did SFK happen?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
When I got to college, I was like I could
literally lie about anything.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I'm just gonna tell everyone my middle name is.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
It was really me talking to myself in like your
screen of Amar again, like hyping myself up and having
this like persona that I could just kept tapping into.
Little did I know, like ten years later, I'm thirty
one and I'm still using something that.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Really helped me as now like my career.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
So I was getting drunk on Instagram Live and then
I was like what are single people doing? And I
had someone set me up on Instagram Live date a
blind date.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
So I would go.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Live and then someone would be like, this is the
username and a purpose and would pop in and I
called that show Let's say date and I did fifteen
men in twenty twenty. We had three seasons of the
show Bumble bought like a month of episodes, like it
was crazy. I hired a producer so to vet all
the guys because it was completely blind.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Wait.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, so people would like submit their restaurants and stuff.
People were tuning the fends and neither did my boyfriend
and I was like, what were you during the lockdown?
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I was like I had a tiktoks. I was doing
writing gang exactly literally same.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
But after a while I was like, okay, I'm not
a dancer, so I'm going to date professionally.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
So did a network see you doing this on Instagram
live or did you go to producer saying this is
what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
At the time, like everything was on pause.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
So I hired a freelance producer and I said like,
can you help me out and bat all these men?
Like we had like an email that was like dat
ak I g I think that because the world was
ending at that time or so we thought, yeah, people
were just like, I'll do it. I'm down, And it
was kind of crazy because you were like on your
couch during lockdown watching me go on these live dates.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Well it was comical too, probably crazy.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's so funny, such a time completely unedited and it
was just like you were fly on the wall watching
me date. So that was really how it took off.
And then that kind of segued into my card games.
I have Let's Date, I've given that to you. Let's
I just gave to you. And these are games that
are like really created to help you on dates or
you know, after.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
The date I was my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Absolutely, you will have the best sex to real life,
but use protection because there have been pregnancies from this game.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
There's been proposals, pregnancies, bed's been broken, I've gotten invoices
for beds, like literally, I've like gotten pictures being like
what did you do? And I was like, I'm sorry,
I'm just a matrician. No, literally, there's magic sprinkled in
those cards. So that's really like how it took off.
Really just like I love dating, I love connecting with people,
I love talking to people, and I wanted to make
them feel more confident on dates. That's really like how
(05:22):
it became so the queen of Confidence thing kind of
trickled into that.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I love that. I mean not for a nothing. Now
I'm obsessed with card games and doing that stuff because
you love it. I don't know what it is, but
when you're like reading something with your partner and doing it, it's, oh,
well the game is telling me to do it. Let's
do it for the game exactly.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
That's literally why.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah, none of the questions in my card game or
like action, it's not like be like, you know, like
give them blowjobs.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
It's like not in there if you want to do that.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It's all actually like about intimacy and just creating connection.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
And it leads to it leads to that, like there's
one question at the end of let's say it.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
That's like, what is one thing you've wanted to ask
me but you haven't yet? And that's when the guy
proposed is.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That so cute?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Okay, wait, that's cute?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Really right? I was like, am I visually the wedding?
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Well, you're basically matchmaking at this point. Literally that should
be a second career. Have you ever cringed at yourself
on TikTok, especially from doing like the dating lives that
I had no idea about, Like did you ever sit
back and be like, well, this was all worth it,
but this was also cringe.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Oh my god, it's so cringe, all of it really,
you know. And the funny thing about TikTok is like
the algorithm just.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Feeds you old videos.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
So I see people liking a video from like twenty nineteen,
I'm like, I don't even look.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Like myself anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Like I used to have bleach blonde hair, eyelash extensions
like Translas.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Everyone went through that phase and it was honestly, I
did that my senior year of high school, so five
years ago. It was the thing.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
It was a thing. It was a time.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
But in general, yeah, like a lot of the content
I've made is cringe, But who cares?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Like, once you realize that.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
No one actually cares about what you're making or who
you are, like they're really thinking about themselves, it's so liberating.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, Like people don't actually care.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
They might leave a comment, they might see something mean,
they might set it to their friends, but like they're
really thinking about themselves.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
And the way that.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I proved this theory is, I want you to tell
me three Instagram stories that you tapped through yesterday verbadeim
like text on screen?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Who said it? What do they say?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I tap all the time, but can you remember?
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So now you can't remember single, no, not one of them,
but you probably remember the stories you posted yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Oh probably, Yeah, that's only worry about yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So how liberating is that?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Like you're tapping all day and you don't even like,
you don't even remember what you're seeing. So that really
goes to show you that no one cares. And like,
so what I would say is like it's okay to
be cringe.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Also it's okay to delete the video if you don't
like it.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
But like I never was afraid of just going out
there and doing it. That dating show so funny, it's
so cringey, Like I think it brought people a lot
of joy during a dark time.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And also it.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Definitely cemented me as like I don't want to call
myself a dating expert, but like I dated a lot
of guys and I loved that the dates were blind
and I really went into a open minded.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
But did you actually ever meet these guys? Oh? I decided?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Oh, I did, oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
For the last season, I had my audience pick a
winner because I couldn't, and they picked a winner and
he ended up flying out to New York till for
the finale, got him a hotel production budget. Oh well,
just me, yeah, like me to stay at the hotel
with you. He's like no, and I was like, okay, fair.
It didn't work out, but like the audience was like
so obsessed with it, and I thought I was in love.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I wasn't. I figured that out later.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But then he went on too Hot to Handle and
I'm like, no, I made I set you up for them.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Oh yeah, like literally, there's Jaws being dropped in the studio.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
No. Literally, I was fuming. I was like, do I
get some kind of credit? But then he like got
kicked off the show as a villain, so it was
for the best. I think it was more about confidence
in dating and realizing that, like you're gonna date a lot,
and like you might not like the person, it doesn't
mean that they're a bad person, just means that they're
not for you. And that's the same thing when someone
rejects to you. It doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.
It just means that the person didn't like you that much,
(08:35):
and that's okay, there's someone that will.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I feel like COVID also it either made people have
tough skin or made them fall off the ladder right.
Also with that, though, everyone was I think more confident
doing that because it was behind a screen.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
For sure, there was a full audience watching them.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Though I literally would have to be like, don't read
the comments, because you know, the comments would come up
and people would like have them so much fun like
commenting that was also part of the show.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But I would always be like, over the comments, just
look at me.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Yeah, but yeah no, I mean like I had to
be funny, engaging, pay attention to the audience, pay attent
to the producer it's texting me. But also like make
them feel comfortable on a date, because it's important too that,
like they're a human being and they deserve that.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And maybe everyone just was in a moment, because.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I think ever was the moment. I still wish they were.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I feel like the internet's gotten a little scarier since COVID.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
One hundred percent. I also feel like dating in general,
I don't think it's easy at all. R Right now,
my friends are like, Giya, you're so lucky that you
have a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
How did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I met him at the Jersey Shore going into college.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
This is what I would say to your friends.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Stop saying it's hard, because you create your plot, like
you literally, like your words really cement your reality. And like,
if you keep saying that dating is hard, it's going
to be hard. If you say it's an adventure, it
can be challenging on figuring it out. It'll happen when
it's supposed to happen. That's a way better outlook, and
that energy like will make you magnetic.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I agree that's the whole thing too, though I feel
like you do have to love yourself too, and to
be that confident person out.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
In the dating world, you have to know that your
person is out there.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah, because I also just feel like when you're not
confident with yourself and you go out and try to date,
your insecurities like almost radiate from your body for sure.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
And also you settle for less than you deserve because
you're like, oh my god, like there's no other guy
out here that's like paying attention to me, so like
I have to just like panner to him. And like like, no,
you really do have to be at a place where you.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Know what you deserve so important?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
How did you ever get over worrying about what people
thought of you? Like do you read the comments, like
even now with your show Aeron on Peacock, does that
overwhelm you? Because this show obviously is so important to
you and you've been working three years on it, so
with everything, and you know your personality and your confidence,
do you ever think you mask that.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I actually like wish I had thicker skin. I'm so
sensitive and I think that.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
That's why I had to build a SFK persona. No,
I'm such a teddy bear. Like that's what my boyfriend
calls me. He calls me a teddy bear, Like I'm
so sensy. And yeah, like I obviously seen some you know,
like reviews or comments or things from the show, and
it is hurtful, but it's also like then you go
make it, Like it was really hard to make this show,
and it was like an incredible process and I had
(11:06):
a joy making it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It's so easy to stait and criticize something.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Of course, the amount of people that worked on it,
the amount of crew that were so incredible to work with.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
It's art, and like that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
When you create something and you put out into the world,
people are going to say, you know, their thoughts. You
have to also realize that, like it comes with the territory,
as you know, you better build a thick skin because
that's what this world is.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
My parents said something great.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
They were like, at least people are talking about your
show and reviewing it, Like people would killed to have
something reviewed of themselves, right, whether it's a product or show, whatever,
it is.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
The fact that it's just out in the world being
talked about and you're getting the press about it. Take it.
Take it for sure, and take the negative comments with
a grain AsSalt one hundred percent. It's just not even
worth it. And it's so incredible that you even created
this production in general, and that you can say this
is my show, and that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I appreciate that so much, and it's such an important
reminder that like people are gonna always talk, so you
might as well just do what you want.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
To do exactly right. I mean I felt it comments
at this point.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Same And people are like, you're deleting your comments, and
first of all, it's my page it's my video. I
don't even see them. Yeah, of course we're gonna filter them.
Why do I need your bad energy?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I get those comments all the time. Oh, Gia, come on,
you're deleting your comments. I'm like, no, babe, honestly, the
abs deleting them for me exactly. So you don't want
to go onto your photo and you're like, oh, this
was such a cute post and see negativity. What you
don't see is better And I think it makes me
healthier and just more stable not seeing them rather than
seeing that.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Out of sight, out of mind.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
And it's so because like the amount of amazing positive
feedback I've gotten about my show, it's so incredible, and
then you get that one mean comment and it just
like sticks in your head and that sucks. So it's
like it really is about filtering it out for sure.
Like I'm not one of those people. So I gooes that,
like goes on Reddit and reads itarch Like, why would
you invite that negativity into your Like you have people.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
In your life. I hope you do.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
You know whoever's listening that like are supportive of you
and will give you constructive feedback. I think it is
good to be surround yourself. People that aren't yes man no,
I will like tell you hey, like you could have
done this better, or like I think you could say
this in a different way.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Those are people that you care about. Their opinions.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
You can't take, you know, crop from people you don't
even know that are like user of five four three
two one.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I'm like, who are you get a username? Stay on business?
If you want to talk to me, let's have a conversation,
Let's have a zoom. But you won't do that.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Come on Instagram live with me. Literally. I feel like
a lot of people love to know what influencer events
are like, and if they're all, you know, talked up
to what they are, I feel like it's a hit
(13:32):
or mess right. Sometimes you go there, do what you
gotta do and leave. Other times I really do enjoy myself.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Did you enjoy yourself at my niches and nooks? And
you're amuzing like you come in in your energy. It's
such beautiful energy. And it's hard because you know what
is the intention behind an influencer event, usually just to
get content or to meet the brands.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It really is as much as people think it's social
hour for us it's really not. Half the time I'm
walking into an influencer event to meet the social media coordinator,
the person that handles their brand partnerships. Because it's a
business meeting, you're going in there as almost like after
your corporate job, you go out for drinks with your coworkers,
(14:15):
or you go meet up and have a meeting with
another company. You're forming a relationship. And then, yes, do
you meet other influencers there. Sure, it's really fun for
us to you know, meet other influencers form relationships, like
that was my first time meeting you, but we hit
it off, you know, and it is fun to meet
other people, But you really are going there to form
(14:36):
a relationship with the brand.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I think it's inherently transactional, and so that's why that
we've heard we've seen many videos of people complaining and
feeling like people aren't spreading the love.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Which like, is so fair. Also, I remove myself from
some of those events.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Sometimes I come in with a clear goal, like is
my goal to make friends, or is my goal to
meet the brand reps? Is my goal to take content?
Like you have to really go in with it. But
it is a job, and I think that that's the mistake.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
They think that we're just oh invited and it's for
the brand and that's it, and there's a lot behind it.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
I'm very also much team like not talking shit about
other influencers, Like I don't like doing that online, like
going online.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I think that we have to protect one another.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I think it's the first female founded industry where like
we are dominating this industry and it's important to like
stick up for one another. I know that's not really
the question that you asked, but I think it is
important to note.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
What was your take on, you know, the New York
influencer drama that we're.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
All boring, all boring.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I'm no influencer, I'm an icon, So like, I don't
know what to say about that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
I felt so bad because this past weekend at Parker House,
I actually met Danielle. They're the best, by the way,
so sweet, and she looks at me and she was
like to her boyfriend like she's more famous than me,
and I go, girl, no, like, don't even say that.
She was so beautiful, so sweet, great, And I think
everyone just has their own way of creating content, but
I also their content comes up on my free page
(15:52):
that's the type of content that I genuinely like to see. Lifestyle, beauty, fashion,
That's what I enjoy. So everyone enjoys different content, But
why are you gonna call like just oh, this group
of friends boring.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I also think like at the end of the day,
women get a lot for like being successful.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I think it's hard. I think that it's such a
new industry.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
And also I think the thing about it, it's like
it's democratized, right, like anyone could blow up overnight, anyone
could be the next Alex or so because of that,
there's a lot of animosity towards people that have made
it or have followings that are like why not me?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Why her?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And then that creates that like feeling of jealousy, and
I think that that's what it is. Do I think
that like, yes, there needs to be more people of
color and black creators in the spotlight, and typically the
algorithm might favor white creators absolutely, And I think that
that's part of what the conversation was. But in general,
like these blanket statements of like all in NYC in
placers are boring, is just.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Like become one and make it less boring.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, it's so easy to criticize kind on It is true.
It really does take a lot, you know, every day
for us to like get up preate content post. Some
days we don't feel like doing it. Some days maybe
we don't want to post online and see the comments
and deal with it. They probably felt so just marriage
to post online for a little bit, because why would
you want to receive the hate and then you know what,
(17:04):
they honestly picked back up better than ever.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
It could be a scary space, but you also just
like have to trust you of the best intentions and
like show up as a nice person. Yeah, I think,
like if you don't talk about people and like your
supportive of others, Like I don't know, I think that
that's like the best you can do.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
I agree, you talked about having a major glow up
and you are stunning. We need to know the tips
and tricks, so don't tell everyone, Okay what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I think like the eyelash extension is over.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I used to bleach blonde hair like chopped, although I
love a bob, but I don't know. I think it's
about leaning more into like your natural.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Features, if that makes sense. Not to say that I
don't have a lash live lesson I have highlights.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Like when I say natural, I mean that very I
don't mean that like actually a surface level. I made
a video like, you know, kind of making fun of
how I used to look and someone calm day. You know,
you shouldn't put your former, younger self down, And I
think there is some validity to that where it's like
being in your twenties and even your thirties, whatever age
you're at, like it's about experimenting with your look and
figure out who you are. And I feel like I'm
(18:03):
more comfortable with myself now, but like it's okay to
try different things, die your hair, like figure who you are.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
That would be the tip for the glove, I agree.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
I mean even now, just little things. I don't learn
nearly as much makeup. You know, I'll do a skin
tint instead of foundation. It just makes the world of
a difference. You know, why take it on when you
can just you know, have your natural skin coming through.
You also have a new book coming out, Let's Date.
What is your best piece of dating advice?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
The one that I said earlier, which is like the
way you talk about your dating life is so important.
It really creates the reality so like really try to
refrain from saying things like it sucks, I'm never going
to meet someone.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
It's so hard.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Stop saying that that's bad energy. You got to like
really change the way your mindset and your mentality, because
I think that you become more open too. I think
obviously you have to really work on the relationship with
yourself because if you don't, then like you will accept
things that you don't deserve. And it could be very
subtle things, but you'll kind of like turn a blind
eye to like, you know, maybe him not being as
responsive or like, and then I would say, like for
(19:00):
a first date, two drinks and ditch, Like, you do
not need a third drink. Nothing good ever happens after
the third drink. They need to earn their time with you.
And I think that two drinks two hours is enough
for a first day.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
And every time I've stayed longer, I've read.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
It and like, I don't know, it's just like it's
not your best self. If we're talking about heterosex relations,
like they're men, Like they're hunters. If they want to
see you again, they will text you twenty four hours
and they'll see you again.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I couldn't agree more. You're now in an amazing healthy relationship.
But what was your worst New York City dating story?
Oh my god, I have so many Wait how many
people have you dated?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
They will like literally like five hundred, Like my diary
goes nuts.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
This is why I have to write the book.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like I was like, I'm ready, the memoir is gonna
go crazy too, but that I need some more time.
I dated fifty people alone on Instagram Live and twenty twenty.
So think about how many other people I've dated. It's
had so much experience.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
I've only had two boyfriends. Love love that for you,
But I'm like to my sisters, you guys come to
me for everything. I know everything, Maybe I.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Don't you do, Like it's listen, it's about having a
healthy relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think I did a lot of things for the plot.
This is in the show. It's an EPI five. Basically,
I just remember, like I met this guy. We went
on this first date. I had the best time, and
then for the second day he was like, I'm gonna
cook dinner at your apartment, which like seemed really romantic,
but like it wasn't because like I don't own like
anything for the kitchen, so like I spent like literally
hundreds of dollars like pots, pans, like serving bulls because
(20:18):
I wanted to seem so legit.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
He cooked me pasta which was like sex scene.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Sweet, but then like didn't clean up, and so it
was like the next morning was just like gross in
my kitchen?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Or was that my job?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
And then he ghosted, so I was like, I don't know,
Like the pasta.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Was good, but it wasn't that good, you know?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
And also why couldn't you go to his apartment.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
He didn't have a kitchen. No, no, like I can't.
I feel like you just used me for my kitchen.
Now that I'm thinking maybe he needed dinner. He was
probably hungry. Yeah, oh my god. Okay, so your boyfriend
Felix is younger than you. Yeah, are there any times
where you feel the age gap? Only like when I
want to watch movies, I'm like, have you seen like
Sex and the City, which is fair like he's a guy,
(20:57):
so like it's like but we played the first couple times,
so he's like.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
It kind of like looks like old. I'm like, no, no,
like that gets iconic, or like the movie White Chicks.
Have you ever seen.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Of course it's a classic.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Okay, Like he hasn't seen it?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Why, Like I don't know, like how old to say?
He's twenty five, Oh okay, so like around my age.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
But well now, like I'm like, what's his excuse?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, no, he doesn't have an agass movie ever. My boyfriend,
for example, didn't watch Greece, and I'm.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Like, how okay, he's definitely hasn't seen Grease. It's literally
my favorite movie ever. Or sound in music like, but
those are more like girly. I guess those are for
the girls a little bit.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Yeah, musicals, I guess. But then him and I were
Greece probably yeah, a couple of years ago, and I'm like,
do you even know who you are? No idea.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I think that that's only the times that comes up
where we'll like be looking for a movie and it
was like made in like twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
He's like, oh, like, look, let's get something more current.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
I'm like, okay, Honestly, like I think, if anything, it's
more like a lot of people are like when are
you gonna get married? When are you gonna get engaged?
I really don't feel a rush. We haven't even hit
two years yet, so like there isn't a rush. I
think because of my age, people would assume that that's
what I want. Obviously I've talked about it. It's definitely
gonna happen. Maybe if he was in as thorties, it
would happen faster and it would accelerate. But like, we're
going on our pace and there's no right pace to
(22:05):
go out.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Are you looking to have kids and stuff?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I'm mad for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Wow, a whole big family.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, well we're both only children, so like we're like,
hell no, we gotta have more than no way.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Yeah, okay, wait, so you really want your kids to
have a sibling?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
What would be your perfect number if you could, like,
you know, light your scratch.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Two or three? What about you? Like, what was your experience?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
I'm forever grateful that I have four sisters, so we're
all best friends. The house is never quiet, you're never bored.
You always have a sibling to go to.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
So sisters is iconic.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
It's great, it's so fun. You have to like, first
of all, be like very financially well off to take
care and provide for your four children. Me just watching
my mom over the years college closed, especially if you
have girls. Girls are so much more expensive than guys
and traveling. Thank god, we've always been Okay, I can't speak,
but my mom always says that she was the one
(22:54):
running around taking care of all of us, and my
dad was like by the bar enjoying a drink. So
my perfect number is like two. My boyfriend wants three,
and I'm like, but then the odd numbers.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Start the problem.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Me and my boyfriend were both born and raised New
York City, so we're going to be here, and I
feel like having three in New York is like crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
So where did you grow up in New York?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I grew up on the Upperast Side and then he
grew up in Brookland.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So he's always been in the city. Yeah that's how
you met him. Yeah, I went on his podcast. I
literally didn't what I was talking into.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Neither did he.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Honestly, he thought I was interesting, but I don't think
he was trying to like sleep with me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I love that. So is he in the influencing world?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
He does podcast and then he's like in venture and
like is really interested in like building businesses and stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Oh so cool. So like a lot of like entrepreneurial
all shit stuff Oka.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
But I do bring him to a lot of the
influencer events.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
And stuff, and I mean that's fo he wants to
go with you. My friend thinks like, oh gee, I'm
like invading your space.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I'm like, no, no, no, what does your boyfriend?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
So he has his own live streaming network for sports cars.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah, it's really nice to be with men that are
like doing their own thing. And I have like our
entrepreneurs in that sense because we're so independent too.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
You know what makes your relationship work and how is
it different from your past relationships? Like do you think
he's the one? Do you really see a future with him?
Even though of the age difference.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
The age difference, like isn't a thing, Like we're six
years apart. Our parents were both six years apart. Like
I think majority. I always used to think it was age,
And I think he supersedes my level. I think he
has the majority of a forty year old. That's just
because of his upbringing. He's also European, He's French. And
this is actually a great piece of dating advice. I
used to set my hinge to like if I was
twenty nine or like thirty and above, like I would
never go younger. I was like, there's no way, Like
(24:33):
I have a business, I'm like a battie, Like I
need like an older guy. Younger guys won't get it,
and like that was a big misstep on mine because
I just completely exed out a whole group of incredible
men that, yeah, might be younger, but we all met,
you know, men in their thirties forties that are still
like babies, right, So and so I think it's about
really like opening up, letting go of your prejudice, which
I had. And I remember when we first started dating
(24:55):
and I found out his age, I was like, oh
my god, what.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And then like when he reassured me, it was like,
it's not the thing.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
A lot of my girlfriends have been older, or like,
I'm just very mature for my age. I was like, cool,
it literally hasn't come up except for like white chicks. Yeah,
what made him different? I think it's that from the beginning,
I wasn't editing myself. I wasn't pretending, I wasn't acting,
I wasn't s FK. I really was me, and he
saw me for me and he loved me for that.
And I think that that's what you really need to
look for. I found that before when I date, I
(25:20):
would always want to say the right thing, the right joke,
like make myself a certain way, and like you really
have to just be yourself, which is such a like
corny thing to say, but it's really true. And I
think another thing that makes us where like we're really
really excellent communicators. So like things come up, conflict comes up,
and I think that I grew up with divorce parents,
so I thought that like conflict like meant the end
you have to do whatever you can do to not
(25:42):
have conflict in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But that's never going to happen. It's actually about how
you work through.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
How we are able to like have a disagreement and
we don't like yell at each other or like get
upset about it. I had a relationship when I would
get in a fact with my boyfriend, he would like
leave or like and I couldn't reach him for days.
I'm like, that's crazy, Like you have to be able
to really work through.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Leave or you scream at each other and or the
one silent tree when the one person always has to
be right.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Oh no, no, no, So with us, it's like when we
have a problem.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
We both want the resolution to be where we're both happy,
not I was right, You're wrong.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
It's like how can we see ey to eye?
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Hear?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
But that also creates such a healthy, stable, just environment
for your relationship. But it also probably makes the both
of you also so confident in your relationship. For sure,
when you're doing like that toxic fighting both go crazy,
then it makes you both insecure in the relationship terrible.
So you grew up in New York City and your
mom actually created the show My Super.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Sweet Sixteen, and she works out on TV and she
created that show. She didn't let me have one because
she was afraid that, like I would come off as
a brat, which is fair, Like they did make the
girlly scene that way. It's a reality show about girls
that would have their sweet sixteen. They would always get
a range Rover. They would also like get like a
pimple before like the party, and like it was like drama,
but it was like tonic. She was just like, you
can't be honest, we don't have the typonoey. We're not
spending like hundreds of thousands of dollars on a party.
(26:53):
But it was so epic.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Yeah, because well, the parents would obviously pay for all
of it. Yeah, of course. So what was your child's
like growing up living in New York City. I always
imagine growing up in New York City like a girl.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I mean, like I didn't have that kind of money,
but a lot of my friends did. It was a
level of wealth that was like kind of insane, but honestly,
like worked out.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
In my favor because that's why I had so much drive.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Honestly, like growing up like that, I was like, whoa,
I want some of these things, you know, but it
was like everyone had at Hampton's house. A lot of
my friends had drivers, like so much.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Access to money.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
And while that could be great on some level, also
the downfall was I think that instead of parents giving
the kids attention they would give them money, they were
really actually losing out on what.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
They needed the most.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
And a lot of people that I knew, you know
growing up, like ended up going to rehab or like
having serious drug problems, just like had no drive, no anchor, right,
and so that was the downfall. Also very awesome world,
but yeah, like we didn't have basements to drink in
like in New Jersey, like we did go clubbing. Couldn't
even go to bars, like in New York you could
go clubbing because they wouldn't care. Like I remember once
I went to Lavo and I like handed in my
(27:58):
fag idea. I was six sixteen. I was like, also
the girl that got everyone in the fake id's like
they were so bad. He looked at it, he goes,
you've ever been arrested before? And I literally snatched the
idea and like I literally ran home. Growing up in
the private school system, like that was very gossip girl.
But on the flip side, like growing up in New York,
the wonderful thing about it is like taking the subway
when you're like twelve years old, you're around every type
of ethnicity, race, socioeconomic class. Like you're really like you're
(28:20):
so not judgmental because you're not in a car, Like
you're literally like rubbing elbows with every.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Type of person.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
And I think that that's what's so beautiful about growing
up here, and the level of independence.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
That you have at such a young age can only imagic,
like all the time, like just so independent.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
And I think at the end of the day, like
if you have great parents that raise you and like
that you know, care about your well being, like you're good.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
You made such a good point though, because you really
do open up your children just so many different things.
But then I do also see the downfall of not
showing your kids the love. That makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Yeah, I know that is very awesome girl too. It's
very like Chuck Bass coded. Oh yeah, there's so many
of him.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
And Blair when she was like begging for it for sure,
I know it really was.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Everyone asked me that, and honestly, it's true. There was
a lot of similars. And also the show was filming
when I was in high school. I was obsessed. Also,
my name is Serena. My mom's name was Lily, like
the main character show God.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Which is crazy. There was like a lot of weird overlaps.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, when they brought the show back, I actually ended
up meeting the creator, Josh Schwartz is his name.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I was like, can I please come on make a
cameo music? For sure? And then the show got canceled.
Did you watch the reboot?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No? I didn't. I was in like the background because
my mom would bring me on auditions and all the
time in New York, it's literally on Housewives. My agent
at the time called my mom and like, did you
want to be an extra Gossip Girl? I was like yes,
and I'll watch gossip Girl over and over again till
the end of time.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
And Felix is kind of giving Dan right, like with
the Brooklyn.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Thing podcast was a writer, same thing. What was the
most New York City thing you did as a child
that you didn't realize at the time?
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Clubbing at sixteen? Like that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I really did not go to the clubs until like
I was twenty. Yeah, but I would never even try,
like a whole broken bar or a Jersey shore bar
until I was twenty one. That would just never happen.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
But think about it, these kids would just be like you,
here is my card, and the clubs don't care, like
they would get paid.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
That was insane, Like thinking back, oh, crazy.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Prom We like took a yacht sailing around the Hudson River,
Like it was nuts.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Like there was moments like that that were really iconic.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
I don't know what happen now anymore because of social
media and stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Even the little things like renting a shorehouse. My boyfriend's
cousin all their friends rents at a Shorehouse. They're seniors
in high school. They got kicked out within hours of
them being there. Right, are you a Bravo fan? And
what is your favorite franchise? I heard you were also
asked to be on Summerhouse, but you turn it down.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
First of all, it's so weird because, like I legit
feel like I watched you grow up, which is so
crazy because like you're such a mature, young, lovely woman.
But like, I literally can't watch your mom's season obviously
all of them when I was younger, and your mom
is an icon, but we're so fucking cute.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Obviously I love all the Housewives. I stopped watching now.
I will say nothing's like the OG, which I'm sure
you can agree. I could agree nothing's like the OG Summerhouse.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
I mean listen, Like, did they offer and I turned
it out? No, they asked to jump on.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
The call with me and like kind of do that
interview process?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah, and I've done it and I've definitely entertained it.
They asked me for Housewives too, I'm like, I'm not
house I feel like for the pot. I think for me,
it's like my mom worked on TV, worked in unscripted Yeah,
So I saw the behind the scenes a lot, and
I think that it's a scary thing when you're on
these shows which like you can attest to and you
don't have control over your edit, and you.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Also really need to be open with letting your entire
life out there, like everything rrect and if you don't
want something aired or brought up, choice, sorry if someone
brings it up and it's juicy and.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
You have no control of your edit.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
So I think that I owe it because of that,
because of her influence on like my mom.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
It's just like I feel like I've never been able to.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I think it would be really fun, yeah, but I
also think, like again, I'm sensitive and I don't know
if I'm ready for that. Like I think the Housewise
themselves are amazing, but I think the show isn't as
good because maybe it's that like want to control over
how you're perceived.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
That's where the ganging up and investigation also comes in.
So it's like, Okay, we'll team up these four girls
to go against those three girls and gather all the
stuff that we can on those three because there's always
a person every season that gets ganged up on this season, Ah,
they trashed my mom, all right, they went at her.
(32:12):
Then next season it'll be this person. And that's how
it is. Every season. They'll you'll have your down seasons,
or you'll have your seasons where they make you look
really good and you have a great edit. But I
feel like housewives, the women are obviously older. I know
they're trying to make it more into a younger demographic
or you're not even younger demographics. Maybe because I kind
(32:33):
of know how to like play the game a little obviously,
if there was something in my life that I was
like no, But I'm already at this point where my
life is so public and I really do give my
audience everything and give my fans everything. I really don't
hide anything. I wouldn't say I would be opposed to it.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I love it, and I'd watchings.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
As you were saying, like the og is better like
housewives that have families and young children and kids. It's
more enjoyable to watch them from the start to the end.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
So true, and that's why I.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Feel like, you know, if one day that ever happened,
like me becoming a housewife, I think that would be
Andy Cochen's dream. They need thing Jersey back, how did
you come up with the idea of your show, because
it really kind of is like an autobiography in a way. Yeah,
so like how did that all come into play?
Speaker 3 (33:19):
So I did a confidence comedy like one woman show.
I've done it like all over the country. I've never
done it in LA before. So I knew that I
wanted to use all of that, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
As a tool. You're also kind of manifesting your dream
right of going to LA.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Exactly, it was a two for one deal. And then
so I knew I wanted that to be in the show,
but it couldn't be the whole thing. Like I didn't
want it to be like a comedy special. I wanted
there to be a binary between SFK and Serena and
like feeling you have this persona online that you're playing
because I think that's relatable. I think y'all can relate
to that somemree and then the person that you're in
real life like that kind of like friction and tension
between the two. And so I knew that I wanted
(33:55):
to ce screen in real life. And then when I
was thinking about what that story was was brainstorming. I
was talking to the development executive NBC because I was
stressed about it.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I was like, I don't know what to do for
the other part. And he was like, you know what,
let's not focus on the show. Let's just talk about
your life, what's been going on?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Catch me up, which was so great because it almost
when you're so trying to like find an answer, like
you can't so like take yourself out of it. And
I was like, oh, you know, I'm so exhausted, like
I just did this road trip with Felix, like by accident,
our flight got canceled. We drove from Montreal to New York.
It was like hailing, like we couldn't see. I can't drive.
And he was like, that's the show. That's sow you
going to LA is the show. And I was like,
oh my god. And so then it was so fun
(34:31):
to write because I was really like.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Wait, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah, right, it was literally an experience of my life.
And I was like, you're right, that's so interesting. Like
we're driving to LA. Everything goes wrong, We're being tested.
And you know, when you're taking a road trip with anyone,
like or a trip in general.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
People always say it you either know if you're gonna
like be friends with this person for life, be with
this person for life after a trip.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
So that's really what it was. And I really wanted
it to feel real. Like someone asked me, oh, was
it a reality show? I'm like no, but I mean
you write what you know, and I wanted it to
feel real, authentic to like what I'm going through because
I knew that people would then like relate to it
versus trying to create like some kind of dramatic, you
know story. It was really like a very simple story
about like a couple going to LA together and then
(35:12):
like them being confronted with things in the relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And it was fun to have Feelix act. But she
did a great job.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I was like, we're going to acting school because I
didn't even think for a second like Kenny act Like.
I was like, can you do this with me? And
he was like for sure, just like an amazing partner.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Support too with everything. That's awesome. That's all you could ask. No, literally,
you have a saying to do it for the plot? Yes,
what is the craziest thing you've ever done for the plot.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Recently went to a restaurant and I heard the Taylor
Swift was there and I was like, I have to
give her my card game, and so Felix was at home.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I put my card game. It's such a story. He
put my card game in an uber package.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
I left the restaurant. Millions of Pop Rozzy fans already
waiting outside. So I was like, Okay, she's here. I
grabbed the card game and I'm sitting there and we
went to the corner store, eating everything, drink everything.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Everyone's filing out of the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
All of a sudden, I see like Blake Livez's incredible
hair or somebody.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Were there when they left the restaurant.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, no, no, I wasn't just there.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I was.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was there. I would never go up to someone ever.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
I knew she was going to exit and I was
sitting at the bar, so I knew she was going
to pass right by me.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So it was Ryan, Blake, Taylor, and Travis and I literally.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Was like, Hi, I'm such a fan, and I created
this car gament. I think you'd really love it. And
she literally looked at it and she goes, oh my god,
thank you so much, but no thank you, but think
like it was so sweet. I don't think she could
take it from me. If she started taking things from fans,
she'd probably be dead, Like I think it would be
too much. It could have been like poison. It looks
like a cigarette, yeah, like a box, which was on purpose.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It was probably.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Terrified the level in which she actually like responded and
was so sweet. But guys, my friend was like secretly
recording it and my face like when she was like
thank you, but like no.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I was mortified.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
This is the worst of my life.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
I put her in this position where she had to
say no, like I like. But then I got over
because it's such an iconic story for the plot.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Like who cares it?
Speaker 3 (36:53):
She said, She's tell her face And by the way,
I kept the game that she rejected. One day, I'm
going to meet her and I'm gonna be like, funny
story and We're going to be it's all good. I
was so scared. Even afterwards, I was obviously felt about like,
oh my god rejection, but I was like, wait, this
was literally so sick and like we interacted. You miss
one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. I'm
so glad that I know, but the fact that you
(37:13):
did it, it's like, I.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Mean she wait to see this clitch. She will she
cut it down.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
My mom actually met her at Coachella one year and
she knew who my mom was, so I was like, Okay,
maybe she will see this cloud?
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Does it live? And feel to live my dream? Gossip
girl Taylor Love obsessed.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
And that is all we have today. But Serena, thank
you so much for coming on today's episode of Casual Chaos.
You were such an amazing guest.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
You're so wonderful, truly you and best of luck with everything.
She's so happy for you.
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