Club Kid "LOVELINE" Part 1

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Hello, Lover! Slip into an ethically made negligee and get comfortable because we are back in the boudoir with our annual Club Kid LOVELINE call-in episode. We don our Esther Perel hat and discuss how to find sperm, s**tting on the first date, greater Boston love triangles, squirting (again), off-grid courtship, how to get over a toxic crush, and–last but not least–ethical non-monogamy. BESOS!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and we've got books
and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books,
it's gossip.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm shook. It's memoirs Martini.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Celebrity Puff Club, Read it while it's hot. Celebrity Puff Club.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Tell your secrets.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
We won't talk celebrity books.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
No boys are a loud celet book say it loud
and cloud.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Celebrity Book Club.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Buzz me in. I brought the queer foe. Hey, best friend?

Speaker 5 (00:41):
Are you?

Speaker 6 (00:43):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'm so good.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm so wet and dry. It won'ts a web. I'm
so dry winter you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Right?

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh, I'm so chopped. Why don't you moisturize me everywhere?
Heavy use for drying cracks.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Actually so funny because I just put on a moisturizer.
I was in the steam room at the gym. Then
I used the sure else did you use? And okay,
this is so crazy. I brought my own moisturizer to
the gym to put on after core.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, okay, they have your new gym, not have it does.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Have like it does have, but it's like kind of
like thick, and I don't know if it's so face.
Do you know what I mean? It's not for face.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Well that's also so this is when you're like randomly
like not gay and or so straight. I feel like
you are so like accidentally putting like.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
No, I'm not trying to. I don't want to put
the body in my face. So that's why I brought
some Ole Hendrickson, like vitamin C serrum and then this
like snail.

Speaker 7 (01:54):
Like it's like like fullilu where you love this can
you're in.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
A woman with a bun splashing your face being like ola.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Anyway, So I did this mix with this like snail
cream I got on the beach of Mexico or no
Abaloni cream okay, And I just threw that on. So
I am feeling you look.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Like you're glowing.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Yeah, you're literally going. I feel so dry. I have
a okay, Yeah, let's talk about like bodies and destigmatizing things.
I have a cold star right now.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Oh my god, I hadn't noticed at all.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
It's pretty and I guess you thought I'd be embarrassed
if you'd mentioned it.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
And it's like I just didn't want you to think
about it because I knew it's not a big deal,
and I was like, I need to draw attention to it. Right,
You're not cold sort girl.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm not cold store girl. TBT. When I was like nine,
some father of a child at my school said, you
have a little tomato sauce on your face.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Oh and it was a cold sore.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
Oh okay, And I told that to my dad and
he was like, oh, we're being literally hate crime for
being Italian because you're just some little Ruffian walking around
with marinera.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
He just assumed that it was marinery Yeah, because I'm
always stuffing my face pizzas. In his defense, you were
carrying a meat ball in your hand at the time.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Raw have you Valentine in the Red Rooms?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
So romantic?

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Do you have any plans for Valda?

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, not to be weird, but I'm going to Vermont
with like four gig guy.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Okay, yeah, it's addicted.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
I'm just trying to make use of my body. You
all still have it. These are my golden years and
I'm winter maxing.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Or as I like to call it, second home maxing.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Which everyone should be doing as much as possible.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
If you have a second home. Okay, so it's more
about group for you.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
It's kind of a group Valentine's dag.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yes, like saunas.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Listen, I'm chocolate covered strap. I mean every to be
so dense, savage. But it's about avoid all the dinner
now the trappings, yeah, of Manhattan and trying to get
a reservation. Also because Valentine and Friday night, every single
restaurant in New York is gonna be mobs.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
What are your plans? You're like, I have a table
at Borgo.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Imagine I'm like eight pm table at Borgo. Like I
paid through the resiapp like one thousand dollars. I literally have.
Maybe this will change by the time this comes out.
I haven't really made any any arrangements. I got invited.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Welcome to the doughouse population you except for.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Like this may come up. This is our love line
episode in a relationship of past I was always like
taught to be so like stupped animal and reservation of
Valentine Day.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
And Geff does not feel that way.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
No, she's yeah, she's a little more like Parks and
Racket is a like group holiday for girls to get
together and like watch bad movies.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeh's rent out of theater, right.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
And so I don't know. I was invited to a
Valentine's Day part by a lesbian couple. Okay, cool, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
So we're keeping it gender over here for a.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Meal and seriously, but then I also was thinking of
having not on the day, but on the weekend a
Bloody Mary contest party because it's like red and doing
the Reba. Okay, I love that Sunday bloody Sunday.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Wow. Okay, So what you think in colors yourthesia and.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
It's like I'm walking through I'm like red. Why do
I see everything in red?

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Bloody Araic just sounds super fun. I wish I could
be there.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah. Sorry, it's like only for awesome folks.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
So have this memory of this bloody Mira had once
at a political event, like a fundraiser at someone's house
when I was very young in my career, and it
was so delicious, and the maker of the Bloody Mary
told me that it had beef stock.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
That's a thing.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, and I just gave this depth of flavor that
was incredible.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
No, I would say the best bloodies have beef stock, horseradish, tomato.

Speaker 7 (05:59):
Juice, tons of really good horse radish, which soy sauce,
and you cannot find that ship at the supermarket is
not You need to go to a farmer's working and
get some like woman's tangy horse radish, because it's so
much better than micro.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
Plane Frank's hot lemon juice.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
I feel like there needs to be some sort of
briny thing in there that's not lemon juice, like a
more salty vinegar, like some sort of like you know,
picly I like doing.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
If you have let's say, banana peppers or like you know, gadaniera,
do a little of that juice from the jar in
the bloody marau. So make your lover a bloody marrit,
you know, for Vona's day. I love a high low.
I love its champagne.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
At the movies, that is so fun. And you all
out the mini moet.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah it's phrased everywhere. You make out in the back
of the theater at a sketchy, sketchy movie theater.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
That's so fun. Let's go do that right now.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
Yeah, okay, but let's get into our sexy so question.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
You guys called in. You left us so many smells.
We have our brilliant and international, glamorous producer on the
line with us right now, Darby Masters. Well, hello, Derby,
you've pre screened screen Yes, I have.

Speaker 8 (07:15):
I have pre screened everything. Every time that we do this,
I have such a hard time narrowing it down. And
I know I said this last time. It was really tough,
but I did it. And if you didn't get in
the episode, I apologize aut of time. But your your
voice call was definitely listened to and appreciated.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
It's all appreciated.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
It was all appreciated. It all listened to and loved.
And you need to know that you are being heard
by Darby even if your call is not played on
this episode. And I do think we'll probably listen to
the leftover ones on our Patreon.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
And that doesn't mean like who's as better if it's
main episode or Patreon exactly.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's not a qualitative analysis.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's just what happens.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
It's just how I went down. And also, and you
can blame Darby.

Speaker 8 (08:05):
Okay, are you ready for the very first call?

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Evere readier? Okay, let's do it. O. Wait, sorry, Okay, Steve,
I'm in.

Speaker 9 (08:17):
Tast Stephen and Lily, I'm the squirter who called into
your very first loved Line episode, calling again because my
wife and I want to start thinking about having kids,
and I really don't want to go to a sperm mink.
I want to use like a known donor, but we
don't really have that many men in our lives. So

(08:37):
I was wondering if you guys had any advice on
how and where a lesbian couple can go me the
guy for that purpose.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Thanks boy, I love you guys, because this is club kids,
this squirter call. Whenever I think when we do this episode,
they are the goat of callers.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's really insane to be like, Hi, I'm the squirter.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
We're looking to have family. That is the craziest sense
I've ever heard of my life.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
And yet it makes a sense, you know what I mean?
Like she's squirting and now she wants to squirt out
something a little bit bigger.

Speaker 3 (09:07):
Yeah, Like they're already got the waterproof sheets. They're ready
for a home verse and also honestly, they're making each
other so happy, so they're ready to expand the family.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yes, because what is a baby if not an expression
of your erotic success? So you're looking for come head
over to the steam room.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
And ye fly come here.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Yeah, get a cup and get a broom, get a room,
money right in huh okay, I think I'll come.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Where is it if you do want someone? You know?
I actually think it's good that you don't really have
any men in your life, because I think you honestly
should just like send an email yes lesbian stuff. See,
I mean these are lesbians. Who is squirting? What do
you know?

Speaker 1 (09:55):
BCZ email to just like all the guys you know,
be like, hey, anyone.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Our child friends. It's more about like expanding the network,
being like do you guys know of anyone like super random?

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Like they need to be random.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah, like super random.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
But like the criteria where you're.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Like, wait, hold on, someone might be like, oh, my
cousin's coworker. Maybe it's like go kind of the step.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Cousins coworker is interesting. It's so unvetted. It's a little
bit like at that point, what's the difference between the
binder of metal? Well, it's free, Oh, because your paying
for the binder cost a lot? Is it like a thousand?

Speaker 3 (10:37):
Yeah, if not more? And it depends obviously there's cheaper ones.
But if they went to college, if they went to
you know McGill for instance.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
That McGill sperm is gonna run up the tab. Okay,
I guess I see where you're coming from, because I
feel like I know a lot of gay guys who
are always like saying that they're getting someone pregnant, or
like a friend has reached out and they're like they
are going to use my spurm. And I don't know
if it's ever happened for any of them, but I like,
I feel like I've had come many different gig guys
where they're.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Like same, where they're in the process.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
There is something about it where it's like, how can
you be so sure that this person is going to
be the like the level of fatheriness that you want,
because like the gay guy is thinking, Okay, I'll come
say hi occasionally, but like maybe he's gonna feel weird
about it and then not want to say hi at all,
or maybe he's going to become a little bit too
into it and you're gonna be like can you back off?

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah, when you do that, you like set up a
contract because you have to, right, And if you don't
think the lesbians are setting up contracts, sure but there
was like this crazy like documentary about the first like
lesbian coupling gay guy who did do this, and it turned.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Out so messy because the gay guy, like.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Then he was like, wanted to be more of a fault, right,
he started being yeah to involved, and they were like, oh,
we liked when you were like this type of involved.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Because here's the thing. Think about these gay guys. It's
like they're thirty five, they're thirty nine. They're like, sure,
i'll give my sperm. I'm al still a hot young buck.
I can jerk off all over the place. Cut to
twelve years later, this gay guy is now fifty one.
He's looking around and going, wait a minute, I don't
have kids. I feel unfulfilled in my middle age and

(12:15):
I want something to burnish my legacy. Wait a minute,
I have a kid. Okay, I'm gonna go get involved
in this kid's life.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
And then the lesbians are so like, well, actually we
have a pretty planned year. Yeah, the kids are all right, right,
And then he comes in with his brawny arms.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
And then your girlfriend leaves you for the donor. And
that's the real list.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
And it's a gay guy and a lesbian together, which
has happened.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
So that's why I'm kind of like, maybe cousins coworker
does have this valaance.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
How's this villains of like maybe a little.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Bit of start at cousin.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Let's start a cousin and then move to coworker.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah, so why don't you just email your cousins?

Speaker 3 (12:53):
I mean maybe they'd be down.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, and then they are in the breakroom at the
cousin workplace.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Well, but I'm saying you could also have a male cousin,
then you would share the DNA if that's something you're into.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
Obviously, not your male cousin. Your partner's male cousin, is
what you're saying. The carriers, Yes, the CA carriers partner's
male cousin.

Speaker 10 (13:10):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
I mean at the same time people were marrying their
cousin for.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
Sure, could be the carrier's cousin.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Really bought that meg up a deal.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
Don't get too hung up on it, Like, think about
what you want.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Yeah, I just remember what I said about the gay
friend watch out.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
And like how much involvement you want this man to have?
And if you want none, maybe just go a sperm donor.
And it's kind of fun because then you can be
so tender about it.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Yeah, Or at the same time, adopt don't shop and
you can go so expensive. Maybe do a go fund.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Me or find a random pregnant woman.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Oh, just like on the street. Just be like you
don't want that to you.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, keep us updated.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Squirter is no squirter. I hope your kid is also
a squirter one day. Okay, next call hey.

Speaker 11 (13:54):
Best friends, huge, huge, huge fan here you inspired me
to go from high bed to low bed.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Long story.

Speaker 11 (14:03):
My sister's boyfriend I really really don't like. I think
he had a huge dweed.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
All been there.

Speaker 11 (14:09):
Unfortunately, they recently got engaged and are potentially planning a
cross country move for Dweeds said job. Should I say
anything to her before I think she makes a mistake
in marrying him? Or should I let it lie? If not,
risk my sister in my relationship.

Speaker 10 (14:32):
Let me know what you think.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
EXO, Hey, best friend, just to let it lie, let
it play out.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
People have to make their own mistakes.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
Just be the ear when she wants to make fun
of him. And also if they're moving across country, like
they must break up anyway.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
If they deal with it sounds.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
Good, I mean it sounds like you want to hang
with your ciss more, but it's like this is actual
an opportunity. Then you can be like, hey, let's do
a girl's sister's weekend in Montreal. Yeah, you don't have
to like go to their house for dinner.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, it's just like you know, your sister's always going
to be your sister no matter what. And that's the
beautiful part about family.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
Blood is everything.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
And I think for that reason, it's actually probably more
common that people tend to like dislike their siblings' partners,
even like more so than their like friends partners, because
they can't unsibling their sibling, and so there's a mandatoriness
to it that where they're like, oh, fuck, I have
to deal with this person.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
You have to see this guy.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Think about all your friends and all their partners, You
probably would maybe like some of their partners less if
you had to like see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas
in the way that you would your sister's fiance. But
that's just the way the cookie crumbles. And I also
think it's like, I don't know, it's cool to get married,
it's cool to get divorced, it's cool to get married.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Again, Like and then you can be so like if
they do break up, oh good riddance, then you have
this party burning his clothes. Yeah, it sounds like your
use of dweve just means like he's I'm just like
loser and annoying and it's not doing anything actively bad.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Interesting. I want to lock into that because we to
me suggest.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
That asshole's not jerk.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
It just means like, yeah, I'm hearing nerd, I'm hearing legos,
I'm hearing.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
I'm also hearing maybe like he's not even nerdy enough.
It's just kind of like.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
He's not smart enough. Maybe he's just a little bit meepy.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Bad jokes, meepy, like even trivia.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
And yet perhaps her use of dewep is her way
of saying asshole but not just very nice about it. Yeah,
and like maybe he's just like this controlling dick.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Here's the thing. You always want to be an open ear.
If your sister knows that you don't like him, then
she's not going to complain about him to you, yes,
because she's gonna be like, oh, I know, she's just
gonna say I told you so. Yeah, and then she's
going to keep it private. Yeah, which is not good
for anyone.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
No, it's not. You don't want tonipulate her away from
even like seeing you. As Lily says an open ear,
I will say, like if do we mean something like
more serious and like you think that he is actually
like super controlling and you're seeing your sister kind of
like fade away.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
Also, watch the show Bad Sisters, Bad Sisters. Yeah, the
Utter Show with se Horgan. I'm starting Sharon Horgan.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Okay, I love her.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
It's about like sisters who hate one of their sister's
husband's sisters sister stuff.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
But yeah, I let it ride, Sis, and like sorry,
like start picking out your bomb ass wedding dress now
that you're gonna go in and you're gonna like kill
just a dance floor.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Used to be like I'm bringing my craziest gay friend
to their dowee be wedding.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, okay, good luck.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
Next Darby Blues, Hey, best friend.

Speaker 12 (17:51):
Just a quick question about off grid living.

Speaker 5 (17:54):
How do I.

Speaker 12 (17:54):
Make it sexy?

Speaker 3 (17:56):
We're the express You.

Speaker 12 (17:58):
Have a composting toilet. I live in the woods, and
I do have a composting toilet, which essentially is just
a bucket unfortunately, and I do have to take the
bucket out back to the composting crib to like dump
it out. I'm trying to have a lot of hot
dates over here because my place wasn't. That is like
so cute, but like, how do you make it sexy

(18:19):
for the girls? How do you tell them about it?

Speaker 6 (18:22):
Is that first date and knowledge?

Speaker 12 (18:24):
Do I drop that on the first date or do
I wait?

Speaker 5 (18:26):
Anyways, Thanks Beth composting off grid toilet.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Thank you for listening. Yeah, if you're off grid and
still on.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Our grid, I love that you're getting reception out there.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
My question is because I've done business and some.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Lesbians composting toilets.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Yeah, but it was an outdoor toilet. Oh yeah, so
you still had to walk to it and it's like
a shed.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, and it's nothing about it. It was sexy. This sounds
like it's in the inside the house and it's in
her tiny house.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
And it's composting toilet and then she has to leave
and take the bucket.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Are you taking the bucket out every time?

Speaker 3 (19:06):
I don't think you do, because you still flush with
composting toilets of I'm correct? Or is it just bucket
more porter body?

Speaker 1 (19:15):
She said the word bucket, I don't know what you're flushing.
In the context of a bus by park.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
They also have these like green toilets of us that
do flush. You're so creepy just talking about different sheds.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Sorry, you're taking this like dumping prospect park. You're taking
out by the playground. Okay, French Coat.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
Look, I think have the date. I guess the date
has to be at your home, is the thing.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
She's trying to take a date home, So maybe they're
going to a cool non alcoholic local bar and wyoming
or whatever.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
They get on the truck and come to the home.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
She's trying to take a bit home. But then like
you take her home, and then at some point the
girl needs to do her business and she's like, oh,
so it's just a bucket, and you're like yeah, because
that is that weird moment where then your date is like, oh,
this just got too real.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
First too, like you're off GrITT and that's cool, and
I've seen instagrams of that.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
It's too far.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
If they are also upstate, I think they will get it.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
I think you see to do a little bit of
politicking here. I think you need to try and get
hr to shit before she comes home. And so really
kind of pushed the bathroom idea at the bar, be like, oh,
you have to check out the bathroom with ridiculous you know,
just kind of seed that a little bit. So then
she goes and uses the bathroom because I think ideally

(20:40):
she just doesn't have to use the bathroom on the
first night, because I think my second night, then you
can have that conversation be like, so, this is so
funny and I don't even know if you use my bathroom,
not that I would have checked or whatever, but I
actually have a composing toilet. It's like this weird thing
about it, but like you'll figure it out, like you'll see,
you get it, and that by the time she's already
bought in a little bit, so she'll be like a
little bit more okay with it.

Speaker 3 (20:58):
That's an amazing shit before you come back, I mean,
and most likely, like I've never like shit at someone's
house on the first night.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
That's so Kate Hudson of you.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
Yeah, like most aphabs are not shitting at someone's house
on the first night.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
You since you're like laying down.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Just like I having like diarrhea. Ina Barnes and Noble like,
you know, when it happens, it happens. I don't have
any control over it.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
Control. Yeah, I just think you can bank on that
and then just talk about your tale of home ownership
off grid as a way to mention it. Possibly too,
you could be like, it's crazy living off grid, you know,
between you know, the boiler and having to have a
composting toilet, but bury that under like and then I

(21:46):
refinished the floors.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yes, So in critique we always talk about the compliment sandwich,
where you do compliment and then a criticism and then
another compliment. And so I think you could kind of
adapt that to like positive thing twilight, the positive thing
low bed composentory let refinished four, and then you.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
Could double down with the you should check out this bathroom.
There's vintage Playboy posters.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Now, yes, And that's actually this is a great ancillary
point here, which is I think she's also asking a
little bit like, is there any way touge up the
toilet room the water closet itself that kind of minimizes
the grossness of the compost pill it So, but I
think like the vintage Playboy's cool anything that's sexy, right,
So instead of like having it be so dead flowers

(22:30):
and like candles or whatever, candles maybe, but like I
think like let's actually like bump up the sex appill
a little.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Bit, n like maybe like a deep kind of pink.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Yes, any warm collars, red orange paint like salmon, like
those just like are really flattering on skin tones like
those are great things to have in a bathroom. But like,
stay away from Grandma, stay away from popa ree, stay
away from like little old framed like you know, lithographs
and paintings of.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
Cows lithograss only interlus and get like maybe do.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Like Marilyn Monroe smoking stick.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
So basically it's gonna be so barlice designed by Mattie Fenny. Yes,
And then I think, get tobacco kind of musky scented candle.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
That's more wood, yeah, woody, woody.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
Scent wood, tobacco, whiskey.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
You can do some palaceand I keep palisando in my bathroom.
If you do that too, and people know how to
use it.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
Certainly you do too.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Be the lighter there. I think you'll figure it out.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
Mini fridge, tons of celsius.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
Flat screen. Oh good luck. We salute you and the
work you're doing.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
I would love to just to stand a photo of
the washroom.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah with the bucket knights and full let's.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
See it full bucket bucket picks celebrity.

Speaker 13 (24:06):
Okay, next one, hey, best friend, second time caller. I
called in to profess my love for Lily, and I
think we can all see where that went mad atop
on your engagement. I am a bisexual woman. Sorry, I

(24:28):
don't know that either of you long term relationship. Haven't
asked bitches will have any insight on this question. But
recently I got involved in two dating situations sort of
concurrently with two different CIS men who both are interested

(24:50):
in E M M. I am neurospicy and can't bring
myself to even finish the first chapter poly secure and
like it's all chill, but I don't really know, Like
what are we supposed to do? Disgusting to.

Speaker 6 (25:10):
My parents are Catholic? Like I don't understand it's gonna work.
I don't. It's fine, it isn't a problem. So like,
how do you just dive into ethical non monogamy from
the jump? I thought that you were supposed to be
in a monogamous relationship. Get bored and seek something to

(25:31):
distract you from the inevitable end of your first relationship.

Speaker 10 (25:35):
Yeah, I'm thirty six.

Speaker 6 (25:38):
Does that help?

Speaker 1 (25:40):
I love I'm thirty Does that help? It usually doesn't. Unfortunately, Listen,
do you even like these guys? That's what I'm I'm
hearing this, and I'm seeing this kind of like this
frustration over the whole concept of ethical monogamy and it's
culture we're living in now, and how am I supposed
to like date multiple guys and keep it sexy? But
I just think it's just about being in touch with

(26:02):
your desire. I think all noomonogamy at its best is
a way of allowing for a multiplicity of desires. So
do you have the desire or you into both these guys?
Do you find them attractive? Do you have this sexy,
firtatious romance? Is that there? If it's there with both
of them, then I think you just need to, you know,
tap into your French side and get into playing the

(26:24):
field a bit. And I would really highly suggest avoiding
the kind of classic pitfalls about the glomnomy as much
as possible, with the scheduling and the spreadsheets and like,
you know, getting too into scheduling as kink and like
keeping them all separate or whatever. It's like, if you
have like two boyfriends and you want to be so

(26:44):
till to swinton about it, then I think.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
See what in Scotland, see one in Frank.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah, like get into it, but really interroor get your
own desire in this circumstance.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
First off, thank you for your love bisexual and catholic.
You know, we've never met me in this color, so
you know in another life.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
She definitely seems like you're type bial. No I know.

Speaker 3 (27:06):
I was like, well, yeah, if this is any comfort,
you sound like my type, but no, I am betrothed.
The guys saying E and M. This to me is
like I think kind of just also like new lazy
guy stuff.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
They just don't want to commit.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
They don't want to commit, and they know like that's
only the nineties to not want to commit, so they
think it makes them see so progressive and cool to
be like I'm actually ethically normenogamist and that's my thing,
And it's like, no, you just want to be able
to like throw some therapy language when you actually just
like are kind of probably also thirty six and don't

(27:39):
want to commit. That's what I think. So if you're
also not even attracted to these guys, then screw both
of them period.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Like you are young, yay, thank you. Thirty six is
so young. You're not thirty seven yet. Yeah, I still
have a few months left.

Speaker 3 (27:52):
But if you are into one of these E and ms,
also like maybe be like buying Catholic and fab and
be like, look, fuck your E and M. That's not
my thing.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
You are thinking, maybe she doesn't want to be Polly.
It's just the guys who like have this poly energy.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Yeah, or she would be if there was like reason
to it.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Doesn't E and M just mean that you're dating and
just aren't exclusive to start out?

Speaker 3 (28:20):
E and M is so annoying, but it's like everyone everybody, Yeah,
it's like that's what I'm saying. Why don't you say, Tom,
be like, let's date and then we can get to
your E and M wishes later?

Speaker 5 (28:30):
Right?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Because E and M is almost saying like, uh, we're
going to be exclusively non exclusive. It's like, so what
is the point date?

Speaker 3 (28:36):
But it's almost even more serious because you have to
be Yeah, yeah, so I'm actually E and M.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Yeah, I have three partners.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
And it's also a way so like this guy doesn't
have to like break it off with like some girl
he met in Santa Fe.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, and he's still santafane well, trying to get your
delicious Albuquerque. I think your suspicion is well founded. But
I also think that you, if you are into it,
then you need to kind of push past that suspicion
and follow your desire and let your desire run rampant,

(29:10):
let it ribble down your chin.

Speaker 3 (29:13):
Like be so I I'm about it, and be like,
okay for number one, meet me in a church parking
lot at one pm.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, it's interesting you bring up the Catholicism. I think
there's something there. I think there's some hidden arrows there.
So it's mine that.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Let's mine the arrows.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Let's get your deacon on. Dicking down with the deacon,
make him wear a robe on. Fry me up, fry
fry me up.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Friar, would I say in bed?

Speaker 1 (29:41):
I think yeah, even for a neurospicy individual such as yourself,
I think there's hope. I think there's a lot of
I mean, she's already bagged two guys.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Yeah, so you already have them brag right, So it's like.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
She's still trying to bag you. She's trying to let
you know.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Look, I have like these two guys.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, all right, do you want to do this or not?

Speaker 3 (30:02):
It's on. I'm here.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
Good luck, best of luck, stay horny, stay catholic.

Speaker 5 (30:10):
Okay, next call hi, Stephen. And really that's an honor
to talk at you on a long time Nashvillian. And firstly,
just want to say, we've got to get you away
from Broadway and the gults next time you come. You
really need to go to East Nashville or the Nations.

(30:33):
There's so many other little burrows for you to check out. Yeah,
and my question is I've been invited to a kink
club and I really want to go with my partner,
but I'm nervous to bring it up or definitely a
vanilla couple, but I would like to, you know, insert

(30:54):
some excitement into.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Our second you'd like to insert something.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
But I'm just nervous to bring it up to them,
And I would like your advice on how to broach
that topic. Love, y'all.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Like a sex party club sounds like there's a membership
with regular meetings.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
I feel like it is like probably a kink.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
But she's referring to it's a venue and it's a
night out of venue.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
It's a night out of venue. That's a kink knight.
Or it's like maybe at you know, like a space
and you get an invite it's a kink club. Okay,
this is what I think.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
You have a lot of experience in this. I'm curious.
I'm curious what you think.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
You first go to Costa Rosa.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Okay, to Miranda riding downtown Nashville.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
The king club is the hostess stand at Jason Alten's.
I honestly think you should start with a conversation of
what are your desires?

Speaker 5 (31:55):
Right?

Speaker 3 (31:56):
And he says his and then you're like, oh my god,
you could be fun to get a club.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
He's like, might love to have a nice massage by
the fire. Well we watch Pretty Woman and she's like,
oh my god, wait, we should totally do that. Also,
what about a kink club, Like we go to this
night at this kink club.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
So random I just thought of that.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
I'm just like, I don't know, like my good fingered
by like two guys while you watch, like just thinking,
I don't know, that's the fantasy that I have. Anyway,
let's do both of our fantasies. Yeah. Done?

Speaker 3 (32:29):
You know he wants to please you?

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yes, yes, let us not forget the partner aims to
please listen. I think that you can have a conversation.
If it's a little awkward, it's totally okay because relationships
crave honesty. A relationship thrives on honesty. And when your
partner can see that you're being like genuinely in your realness,

(32:53):
like they respond with comfort and joy and acceptances, you
can be so real And so I think that yes,
they may not be into it a little bit, or
you can say, I don't know, it's just I think
it could be cool, and they might be like, oh
maybe I don't know.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Oh no, if I want to see, like fucking dude, yes,
their swords and you don't.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Have to push it so much, but just kind of
like get it out there and then like bring it
up and then like maybe he can, like you know,
playfully jab you about it, or like you guys are
making love one night and he like you know, pulls
the stuffed animal off the shelf. He's like, oh, is
this what you want? Like another person in the room
and then you guys do something really naughty with your
stuffed animal.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Oh yeah, and it's a really like high grade beautiful
stuffed animal.

Speaker 1 (33:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
I think also, you know, when you're talking of this fantasy,
like it's not like the first time, you can be like, oh,
and we're gonna go and I'm I'm gonna get like
fucked by it too.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah, it can just be explorative.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
Literally you're like, I just want to be with you, yes,
and go.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I'll say this now as someone who has had some
experience at a cank club at Nashville kink clubs, I think,
like you know, when you're in a sort of somewhat
group public space with the partner and there's sexual things happening,
partners can react in all sorts of different ways that
you might not anticipate, and that might seem a little

(34:14):
bit odd to you at the time, and they can
be nervous or insecure, and that might not have anything
to do with you, it might partly have stuff to
do with you, And I think you just need to
like allow for that to happen. Like I'm saying, if
you actually do go to this kin club, don't be like, wait,
let's go here, let's do this. Why aren't you doing this?
Be just a little bit like whatever happens happens, be

(34:36):
like open to everyone's level of comfort or discomfort, and
then you just lesbian processed it afterwards and it'll be fine.
And I think, like, I just like, you know, I've
been circumstances where the other person or maybe we're both
being kind of like, ooh, we're being a little bit
jealous and weird and like we feel weird together, we
want to be apart. But then other circumstances, sometimes you're like, oh,

(34:57):
I feel weird apart. I only want to be together.
It varies, and it depends on a lot of different
like other factors. Don't have in your head, like the
kind of idealized version of how this is gonna go,
and you're both gonna like be so sexy and like
into each other, but also and everyone else. I think

(35:18):
just see, and I will say, over time, if you
continue to engage in like sort of like, it gets
better group sex activities with your partner, it does get
better and easier and hotter and sexier and more fun.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
You know, your first kink club, you're gonna be calling
us back in three years being liked.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Be like, oh, I'm actually a dungeon master.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
I just watched this episode of the OC where Sandy
and Kristen go to a swinger's party, the parents and
the OC, and.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
They're being like, oh, like, we're too old for this.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
No, And then they do go and they're both like
flirting with other like sexy parents.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
And forgot it. This is like season three.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Yeah, it's such a good episode. And then ultimately they
like just go home with each other, but you know
the thrill, Yeah, just testing it out.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Yeah, so watch that episode. God speed.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
That's why I always say when I leave Nashville the
two times i've been is I still have so much
to do here, have so.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
Much a lot of kinks.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Oh yeah, so yeah, just send us an invite and
signal to the kink club that you and your partner
will be attending and we will be there just mostly
doing desk kind of front.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
Stuff, administrative think work, wristbands, et cetera. Which is your
good luck?

Speaker 10 (36:33):
Next call Hi and Lily, Happy Valentine's Day. I am
a gay man of transgender experience. I'm like post top surgery,
I'm a few years on hormones, and I'm like starting
to have my kind of gay sex renaissance amazing, and
I hook up with mainly this gay guys. I'm also

(36:53):
in Los Angeles, which I think is crucial information. Well,
my question for you guys, I hope you're doing and
maybe specifically Stephen, but I won't leave Lily on this.
What basically is crucial that I should know about fifty
gay guys when having this.

Speaker 5 (37:09):
Like flat phase.

Speaker 10 (37:10):
What are the stumbling blocks that you guys have run
into when sleeping or trying to sleep with gay men?
Up gay guys in real life is thrown the apps,
which feels like kind of the serious to me on
a train guy especially, I can't imagine the only transfag
club kid either. So we have a lot appreciate it

(37:31):
if you do it for all of us.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
What are the stumbling on?

Speaker 3 (37:33):
Congrats that you're in your gay sex renaissance.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yeah, it sounds like you're already sleeping with guys, so
you're kind of figuring it out.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
Maybe I've had a lot of roadblocks sleeping with gay men.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
For instance, once we were at a hotel once and
I wanted to go in the sauna and they said no.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
That was at the gathering. Yeah, I mean, I don't
know gay guys are sluty. I guess I would say,
you know, in terms of the apps, I mean, listen,
you know, I'm in such a long term relationship. I
don't even go on the apps anymore. If I ever,
like engage in any sort of flirtation with another man,
it's only in real life. Because I'm such a romantic

(38:14):
and I have such sort of a European kind of lifestyle,
I do feel like it's good to kind of figure
out how to present yourself, especially in the apps, in
like a top versus bottom way. I think that like
the more like clearly that comes across, I just feel
like the more bites you get.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
And honestly, I think because even though I.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Do think like should more, yeah, and because I think, like,
you know, most people are like some level of verse
or whatever, but it's like nobody wants that in that
moment when they're on the app, like they want a
certain thing they want to like fuck or get fucked,
And so I think it gets important to decide every
time you log on what you want to be, who
you want to be, and like what you're looking for,

(38:56):
and that will like get you definitely more action. I
think on that level. If you say I'm a bottom,
I'm a trans guy bottom, You're gonna get a lot
of n la. Oh my god, my god, I'm like
so many like tops. If you say, like I'm a
top and I want to fuck you, like honey, there's
bottoms everywhere and they'll be very down to serve. So

(39:16):
I think like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, that
might sound unromantic, but it sounds like you're not looking
for romantic No, it.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
Sounds like the phrase gay sex renaissance. Yeah, you're more
just like, what are roadblocks on the apps?

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yes? And I think that being versus a roadblock. So
go top or bottom.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
And first then I have this huge little pot of
men to decide from. Yeah, but actually you should decide
and you can always. That's way think about a profile.
You can change it all the time. I wonder if
I'll ever turn gay.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Maybe one night, when we're asleep, I'll just stick some
sort of fouls in your mouth and see how you
respond to it.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
My small mouth, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
In your mouth's too small to be gay. Yeah, So
that's my one big o device on the apps. I
think in person.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
Housewives.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah, I know that the Housewives.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
It's huge to that culture.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Frankly, like me not knowing enough about The Housewives is
probably the biggest tumbling block in my kind of social
life in terms of gay men. It's like every day
I'm talking to a Giger who's like, oh, yeah, but
like the like Deandres said that, and I'm like who,
and they're just like.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
No, they actually get like upset. They're a little bit
like get into the homework.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah, it's like the whole class is upset that they're
like feeling like you're bringing in the class. So I
guess you need to really know who to read is
and really be aware of her RICKA Jane, Marrika Jane
and know all about them. And it's kind of like
do the work. Do the work. I guess you want.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
To be in this season, top or bottom.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
It seems like it's way more important than drag Race. Honestly,
at this point, yes, smother, even though I think both
franchises are frankly kind of like on the wing in
a major way.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
They are, But I'm saying, like past seasons it's not
been about like kind of even what's going on currently. Yeah,
it's about like season two Garcel.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, oh, knowing the backstory. But I also feel like
they are always talking like okay, but like did you
see when Lisa Barlow did this? And I'm like, no,
I didn't, and then they're like also knowing all the
backstory of everybody.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Saying backstory and this is your roadblock.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Thank god, I'm not in the dating pool anymore. It's awful. Also,
learn a language, go to the gym, get a haircut,
get a really good job, make a ton of money, travel, travel,
get lasa.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
And yeah, it's basically like work, but don't work, go
on vacations.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah, those are the main things that gig guys like,
is working, not working, vacationing.

Speaker 3 (41:43):
And wondering how you vacation with no work.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
I heard this gig idea. That's just all I heard
was I'm a stylist at Sacks. It's just like who isn't.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
No When I heard these gig guys the other day,
going do you like train travel in Europe? These are
something question you can ask your new lovers.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Yes, styline attacks, housewives, tream travel on Europe. Good luck,
good luck, slut bitch as slave, Okay, next.

Speaker 14 (42:08):
Call hi, Lily, and Stephen, thank you so much for
an amazing podcast. It's a lovely safe queer space for me.
I want to ask basically, how to get over a
massive crush.

Speaker 6 (42:20):
But I've had on this person.

Speaker 14 (42:22):
I'm not at a party, and I've never felt that
way for someone.

Speaker 6 (42:27):
I guess like.

Speaker 14 (42:28):
I was thinking about them constantly and like imagining our
future together and stuff. They're friends of a friends, so
I found out that they're in kind of two situationships
right now sound a bit toxic and also they're kind
of a very chaotic and messy person, so I don't
actually think it's like what I want. And also they

(42:49):
don't seem to be interested in me romantically. But at
the same time, they're like the hottest person I've ever seen,
And yeah, I just can't seem to like star like
thinking about them. So, yeah, do you have any advice
on how to get over the biggest crush I've ever had.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
I'm picturing this kind of very.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
I'm picturing old, but it's like older and as a
gallerist photographer or something like that, and has of course
like two lovers, and it's so messy. Can I say
something radical? Here is my answer? Don't get over this crush.
I think if in the crush, it's like so rare,
like you to feel like, actually that obsessed with someone

(43:40):
and you know what, I think you're gonna be putting
out sexual Of course, don't get too obsessed putting out
sexual energy that someone might come along and you'll be
putting out this kind of sexy energy and someone might
come along and that will be your new lever.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Yeah, and you can direct that energy somewhere else. I
have had this realization recently that I always forget to
realize again. But it's good. This might kind of go
against what you said, Well, Bet, I do think beauty
can be just appreciated and loved without needing to be

(44:19):
conquered or competed against. Sometimes I'll have a feeling, you know,
I see a hot guy and I'm like, oh, he's
so hot, and I'm like, there's part of me that's
like jealous that I don't look like that. There's part
of me that really wants to fuck him or wants
him to fuck me. What's me feel desired by that?
And then there's a third part of me that says,
wait a minute, what if he's just a beautiful thing

(44:41):
that you could admire and say that's really cool. But
he looks like that that he has this energy, and
I can just sit in the beauty of God's creation
and say nature gives us beautiful things, and how lucky
are we that we have to wear with to appreciate it,
to see it, to know that it's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
I don't think that it's only so different from what
I'm saying, because it's almost like it happens rarely that
maybe you are so taken by someone unless you because
the way she's talking about it sounds like she doesn't
get like obsessed with people all the time. Okay, well
and maybe she does, but it's just like, yeah, I
don't know, be obsessed for a while, see the beauty.

(45:22):
I'm also gathering that it's not just hot guy. You know,
when you have a crush like that, there's an X factor.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, But the fact that she saw them at a party,
I think that it's clear. It's like when you see
someone out.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
Of it's like the fantasy.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
Interesting. They're talking to multiple people, they are engaging, they're clothes,
it's intimate, they seem you know, somewhat attainable.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Be inspired, right, Yes, us this that as a chance
to create write love letters songs. Yeah, let it be passionate.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
And I do think writing will actually also help you
get over them, because like you'll push it out there
and then.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
Push it out and it'll become less this And honestly,
it's like your friend or friend, You're probably gonna see
this person at a party again and maybe it will
die down.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
But you could also kind of slowly Taylor Swift has
this great song mastermind that's about kind of putting all
the pieces in place for romance before he even knows
it's happening, And you could do that. You could kind
of like slowly pursue this person and like figure out
how to run into them here and there of the
course of several months and talk to them under an
alias on Instagram and like figure out their likes and dislikes,

(46:30):
and like somehow you get your number and then you
start like texting, but it's all non sexual little jokes,
and then eventually you see that in another party and
you're looking really hot and you're like, we should get
a burrito sometime or sorry, we should get to like
some clussion staffer or whatever does they have in your country? Yes,

(46:50):
And then you've masterminded and it all comes into place.
So I think either or, But yeah, I think I
think that kind of.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Like I'm also a little bit like if it sound
like this person's quote unquote chaotic and in multiple relationships,
also sounds like you.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Have a chance, Yeah, you have a chance. But here's
what's gonna happen. It's like she'll sleep with her and
like it'll happen once and maybe twice. But this other
toxic Timothy Chalomee Kristen Stewart is gonna be a little
bit just like okay, bye, like cool.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Go seeing you, like maybe see you again.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, and then she's gonna be like, oh my god,
I ruined it. It's over. And then Timothy Shallome like
DM sir a week later in responsible story, just being
like haha, and then she gets all this hope up again.
So I can't see this being like a toxic cycle.
So I do think that you just need to kind
of write it out and appreciate their beauty and keep
moving and write a song a song in a poem.
I know that's a lot of conflicting advice. I think

(47:43):
you're right that it's not gonna work out and be
like your next great love. No, but I think it's
possible you could could hook up and have like, you know,
a pretty hot sex that they forget about.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
And you think about, yeah, and then it happened.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Good luck.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
We're like, have a crush. Don't have a crush as sex,
it will be bad.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
I'm just like thinking of this guy that I kind
of had this thing with.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
I'm thinking about honestly, like how obsessive. I feel like
I had crushes in like high school in middle school
and but always like hope to like run into like
this girl, like literally just like on the street and
she'd be like, wait, do you want to like come
to my house? And we're fifteen, do you like come
over in the fuck And.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
It never happened. Never happened, but you appreciate it from afar.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
Yeah, And I feel like, looking back, I'm just like, I.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Don't know, that was cool and it's okay, it's okay,
But did you like channel your appreciation to art?

Speaker 6 (48:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (48:41):
I feel like I was colladging so much journal and
writing song lyrics and being so torture and.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Now you're like so much wiser because of this. See,
there was this guy that I like so briefly had
this romance with in France and we like, you know,
we're like man, you know, like we're both living in
or say, and you know, it was kind of like
he was super hot and like we went on a
road trip together and it was and like part of
me was being like, oh my god, like husband, this

(49:09):
is so romantic, but I think he was just kind
of that kind of a person. He was like spontaneous
and like that's what attracted me to him.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Right, right, so that he would go on a road trip, right.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
And so it's like we did this and then it
was like, you know, a couple days later, I was
going to a biza and then I was like wait
a minute, like is it all over? Like do you
not care about me anymore? And like he was kind
of like what, like it doesn't matter to me, and
I was so like distraught, and I was just like
wait a minute, like I thought this could be something,

(49:38):
but now I realized like he was just like that's
just him, that was just him, and it was a
beautiful thing. And and one way I got what I wanted,
but another way I didn't get what I had fantasized about.
But I also realized that my fantasy was it.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Was not him. No, that's the thing. What you're thinking
of this dark chalom May, Danish photographer is not what
she is.

Speaker 5 (49:59):
Right.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
But I wrote about it and I got it out
of my system and then I ended up.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
Having now a major emotion picture. Thank you for the
sun Dance. Actually in a few weeks it's called the
Girl who took the Train. Okay, next call.

Speaker 15 (50:25):
Hey club kids, so hi, my friend will call her.
Julie has been dating her boyfriend James for about a year,
and in James's previous relationship, his ex girlfriend cheated on him.

Speaker 14 (50:39):
That's where they broke up.

Speaker 15 (50:40):
And this is non information. Jumped back to about two
years ago. James is dating his ex and Julie hooks
up with Tom. Tom is like a friend of a friend.
You only see him like twice a year, like when
everyone's back home for the holidays and we're all like
feeling out, very.

Speaker 14 (50:58):
Like Massachusetts town type beat. James and Tom have never met. Okay,
so fast present day.

Speaker 15 (51:06):
A couple of months ago, Julie comes to find out
that James's ex cheated on him with Tom. Now, if
you're a Julie, so your boyfriend James that you hooked
up with the man that his ex girlfriend.

Speaker 14 (51:23):
Used to seat on him.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Right.

Speaker 15 (51:25):
I hope that makes sense.

Speaker 14 (51:26):
Of you guys buy.

Speaker 15 (51:29):
Us.

Speaker 3 (51:32):
If you're Julie, do you tell or like, if you're
a Julie, I'm a Julie. That's Tom.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
I'm such a James.

Speaker 3 (51:41):
I'm definitely our caller. Okay.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
I love that she's not involved.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
I was waiting for her to be like, I'm now
dating Tom.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Oh, she's just like like the nosiest neighbors.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
Body Like, Sorry, I don't think Julie asked you. No,
I don't call us and tell us, but I'm glad
you did.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
I'm glad you've brought this to our attention. Okay, So
let's lay down the characters for a second so as
I understand it, if we're getting this correctly, Julie's just
a girl. Julie's a girl and she's dating this guy.
This guy she's dating has this trauma from getting cheated
on by his ex. It turns out that the guy

(52:23):
she cheated on him with is someone that Julie's also
slept with. Yes, so basically he has this nemesis in
his head and now is he going to find out
that his current girlfriend slept with his nemesis, and every
time they fuck, he's like, oh, was it better when.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
It was Tom.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
It's funny because Okay, I feel like I have a
lot of experience with this well.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
Because it's more gay guy in lesbian Rold, I was like,
if this was all like queer, awesome folk, I feel
like maybe the James would just find it kind of
like funny a little bit and be so the chart.
But because it's Boston, I do think this guy might
get like a little sensitive angry and he will kind
of just keep it in the.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Back of his head. Yes, but I also think tail
if the relationship is strong enough, then it will be
funny and he should know.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
Writing a map thank you.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Julie's with James, and James's ex cheated on him, and
it was always this big deal that she cheated on
him with Tom with this guy Tom now also dated Tom.
Now it's no Julie just slept with Tom once or
maybe dated him. But Tom is like so James's enemy

(53:39):
that if he knew his current girlfriend had slept with Tom,
he would be really upset. We think, we think.

Speaker 3 (53:44):
I guess the question friend club kid miss busybody. Yeah,
is Julie getting anything out of this?

Speaker 1 (53:56):
But she's getting us that it gets off her chest
and she's not carrying around this secret. Well, right, but
it happened.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
We always have to think is honesty the best answer?
I think in this case, she didn't cheat on James
with Tom, so it's not such a burden.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Yeah, but she's that's something that she's thinking of, and
I think it could like be worse if you found
out someone from someone else.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
Just tell the worst part about it. Yeah, you freaking
kept this from me. And then she's like, oh, I
thought it didn't met. He's like all those times I
told you.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
About about this guy Tom that ruined my life and
you wouldn't think it mad to me.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Sitting here, Lottie freaking dah.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Oh, you're fucking diddling your clit thinking about Tom. Meanwhile,
I'm trying to keep you happy. I'm trying to put
food on this table. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
Now, it is like, if Julie sees a future with James, right,
I think she should tell him so then it doesn't
get like weird later if he does find out. I
think that he should just know and it'll be weird
you're gonna think that, like the longer you keep it.
If he does find out, then he's gonna be like, oh,
so you were in love with Tom, Like this was

(55:02):
such an insane secret. You were so into him that
you couldn't even tell me.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
Yeah, I think that you should tell and I think
it's fine. It's like, I feel like this happened multiple
times to me in multiple different ways, and it's kind
of just like it's just good to know.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
Yeah, because you're gonna be at a party.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
If I found out like, okay, you know my ex, yeah,
who kind of like left me for his coworker, I'm
aware Like if I found out that my current boyfriend
had slept with that person.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
Yeah, no, that you would go postal, but I would
call the armed Guard.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
But I would also I feel like at this point
a relationship, I would just be like, you know what,
that's the past, and like it's fine because I've also
slept with that guy.

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Yeah, But you would also still just be like, I'm
a crazy girl and I'm gonna go crazy.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
And I would, I know, and I would have my
like night of craziness, and that.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
Would be be like, oh yeah, but I sat with
him and I said, with your ex.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Yeah, and that'd be like, okay, now I get to
choose one of brekfast and sleep.

Speaker 3 (55:56):
By friends, gay guys and they're like suburban Bostonians, she said,
suburban Boston.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Stuff, the pea coat of it, all this angry folice.
Oh god, it's going to be such a thing. I
just feel like it's already such a thing where it's
like if she doesn't tell him, then it's really.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
Oh no, I was first disagreeing and now I'm agreeing
with you.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
I think she just needs to tell him, but she
needs to make it also compliment sandwich. She needs to
just be like it was bad.

Speaker 3 (56:23):
You know, this is how she alt needs to be,
so like, yeah, do you know.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
What I just realized, Yeah, oh yeah, pretend.

Speaker 3 (56:31):
Yeah, like over runs right, Oh, I actually need to
take a shower.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
No, it's actually so gross because I totally like, wait.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Hold on, I'm just realizing that your ex, that guy
that she cheated on you with, like I dated him too,
and he was so.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Like gross, such a weird place.

Speaker 3 (56:54):
I'm like so happy to be with you.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Right, Oh my god, Oh she's sood Oh sushi tonight,
just aren't talking about sushi.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
I'm so glad that part of my life is over.
That was like when I was hanging out with those
just like fucking sloppy Quincy sluts.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
It's like, literally go back to Quincy, have no lives. No,
it's actually so really sad. Yeah, I think just to
the casual reveal.

Speaker 3 (57:23):
Brunch to sushi, and I'm sure you're gonna be fucking
that brunch with your little popcorn over there collar watching
this all go down.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Nosy, nosy neighbor. I love this girl. Yeah, I love
this up and everyone's visiness.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Yeah, literally give us the chart.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Great chart, Good for you, Thank you, thank you for
your call. You luck to your friend of me.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
Honestly, Pervail, that was an amazing call to end it on. Wow,
you guys, thank you so much for being honest, for
being vulnerable, for opening up your porter potties, your out house.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
What an incredible gammange of questions. Yes, just a plethora
and a smorgath board. We heard from.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Lovers, friends, gossipers want to be lovers, people exploring their sexuality,
people afraid to explore their pectuality, people wanting.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
To explore their sexuality.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
People in Nashville. People off the grid, people in Boston.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
People on the grid, people on other people's grids.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
Kink clubs, East Nashville.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
I feel like, if I can draw a conclusion, it's
that like, twenty twenty five is the.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Year of giving yourself permission.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Yes, to be radically honest and interrogate your desire and divulge.

Speaker 3 (58:50):
What secrets you're keeping, yes and why?

Speaker 1 (58:53):
And play roles and wear hats and don't be afraid
to put a hat on and take it off.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
And I think, also, will we learned from the end
of this, like it's not gonna be the end of
the world. Usually, Yes, A lot of these questions what
if you know, what if I tell my birthfriend kink club?
What if I told my future lover that, yes, we're
gonna shit in buckets?

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yeah? And I think like, if you approach it with
confidence that it's not the end of the world, then
it won't be that devastating. They will receive and if
they don't, then that's also okay. Yeah, you'll move on.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
You'll get a new crush on like a shallow May photographer.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Ooh, I'm horny, I'm super super harded.

Speaker 3 (59:29):
I want a huge heartship box of taz reces and
I want to feed them to multiple lovers at a
kink club.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
I'm gonna head over to East Nashville with my lover
and many other lovers that we've all cheated on each
other with in the past and we're moving through that
trauma together.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
Yeah, I'm going to head over to Greater Boston just
with a group of awesome friends and just kind of
ask what secrets they have.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
We love you guys so much. If your call was
not answered.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
You can hear it on the Patriot head over to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Patreon dot com, slash CBC the pod where we are
every week releasing new episodes that you can only hear
over there on Patreon v ip lounge. You're gonna want
to get into it. We love you guys so much.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Literally, I'm in love with you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day, Best Best.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
This episode was produced by my servant, Darby Masters.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
The irony of a servant named Master, isn't it?

Speaker 14 (01:00:35):
Why ironic?

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
How delicious counterintoot A whips. Our associate producer is a
very very naughty boy. He's going to receive a right
spanking later. I'd lose that farm getting air show me up, bum,

(01:00:59):
I've got all with your name on it named a boot.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
Oh this pongas wants execute it. Produced by Dominatrix Christina Everett.
I've been a bad little boy, Christina, Are you in
a pani?

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
This episode was engineered by the man who taught me
everything I know about the leather community bead Frasier from
what whips to buy and what harnesses cause.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
Allergic reaction yes depending on the climate obviously and.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
Region, how to clean floggers, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
No, you have any questions, you gotta ham honey, god
my boy. This podcast was having the theme song that
was made.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
That was made by one of my playmates pretty badly.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Yeah, he got control of the polybasement that we used
for our playdates.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
Artwork done by the amazing Teddy Blanks who's done some
amazing work and some kink clubs really beautiful works. And
of course shout out to our former polycule the Brother Projects.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Hey playmates, if you guys are interested in wading your
whistle at over to Patreon dot com, sash CBC thepod
for more us every week