Howard "Goodbye iHeart" Stern, Part 1

Well, the cat is out of the bag. We've reached the end of our iHeart era. But fear not—CBC will continue! Get new episodes every Friday at http://patreon.com/cbcthepod. For our final day in the red studio, we're going meta with famous thorn in the side of corporate radio—Howard Stern, and his book "Private Parts." In true Stern style, we bring in our producers on the mic and take the show out into the office—including an iHeart fridge mukbang. Don't worry, Club Kids. This isn't the end. It's the beginning. Head to patreon.com/cbcthepod to embrace the future.

Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/cbcthepod

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends.
You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and we've got books
and a bottle of wine to kill.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm sure it's memoirs Martini.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Celebrity poof Club to.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Read it while it's hot.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Celebrity poop Club.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
Tell your secrets.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
We won't talk celebrity books.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
No boys are a loud celet bo say it loud
and pound Celebrity book Club.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Buzz me in. I brought the queer voe.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hey, my friend, how are you well?

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Daddy lost his job at the factory this week. Factory
done clues, no more Colon Mountain. Might have to move
my family to Winnipeg.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
You know what I've got my pocket though, a matchbook?
And why do I have a match both.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
Because I think we're about to light ship on fire
and wait to burn it all down to the.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
We're not talking about Trump's okay, you guys.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
We have sad news, but it's don't be sad. Don't
be sad, literally, don't be sad. But the fucking tissues away,
you pussy.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, unless you're about to jerk off to.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
This episode and which case gets more.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, get a rod, get a microfiber rag.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Okay, Mommy and Daddy love you very much.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
We love you very much. But sometimes mommy and Daddy
lose both their jobs. So I Heart, Yeah, they looked
at the numbers and they said something's not add enough.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
And they made the brilliant decision and honestly brave decisions,
so so so brave in this day and age to
not renework on contract.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Wait, sorry, say it against you is sorry, I'm still
in denial.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
So I heart is deciding to not renew our contract.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Imagine, I'm just hearing this the first time.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
It's for me, Yes, for you, You're like, they're renewing mine.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah. It Celebrity book Club with Steven and and you're
so John and Bush.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
And France and you're like today Scarlett Junson, it's Kevin
to Visabee. We're talking all things clibberty, bed bars, Sammy
Wats's new book about menopause.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
No, but for real, guys, So this is what's gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Okay, guys, let's break it down.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
I want you to feel safe. I don't want to
go on without you.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Feeling first of all, this podcast is not ending.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
It's not over. Okay, you think you can shut us,
shut us up.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Fucking.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
You to dead.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
So our podcast is going to continue. As you may
be aware, we have a Patreon Patreon dot complas CBC
the pod that is where our podcast is going to
continue to broadcast and release episodes every single Friday from
here until eternity day.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Did you say every single Friday?

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yeah, every single Friday.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Bitch ggif bitch.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Okay, we are going to keep doing episodes as we've
been doing for the past many years.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
You know at this juncture.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Are we gonna keep doing two episodes a week?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, because this is what was happening. We had our
iHeart contracts, so they were producing our episodes that came
out every Wednesday.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
We have amazing producers that we love and are literally
gonna miss.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Who are incredible. So let's just bring them in. Darby,
Darby are on the line. Hi, Hi, Derby, listen.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Can you believe we're being ripped apart? No, not at all.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
They're breaking up the gang.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
I feel like we're like one of those animal movies
where they're ripping up the pack.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
What one of those animal movies.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Movie someone adopts like Old Yeller or whatever, this golden
tree for sauntering off.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Listen, there's nothing wrong with adopting a solo pet. Okay,
you can break up a letter. Stop pushing your anti
solo pet propaganda. H Darby, you've been like the iHeart
Air has been incredible. You know, we had many producers before.
You also say it right now, Okay, and you're the
best or the best, you're Darby. You're so incredible the
work that this woman does with all the opens the

(04:13):
design world. And you understand humor so well, I mean,
tim you know, and to cut us off, Yes, we
record heavy, right, we do like an hour fifteen, sometimes
hour twenty even sometimes thirty.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Hour thirty, and it's like, you know, will be funnier
if you cut out, you know, twenty minutes of that.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
And whatever that may be that you're cutting whever.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
You're Lily, or if it's kind of a lot of
Stephen kind of being like weirder.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
On one or the other. Yeah, have you Lily kind
of looking through the book trying to find the page number.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Okay, enough of your page drama over here.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
No, but Derby, you're amazing and it sucks that we're
not gonna have to work with any movie, because I
really do think you bring such a brilliant eye to
the show and it's very kind fastionalism that is out
of this world.

Speaker 5 (05:07):
Thank you so much. That is very kind and so sad.
I feel like we have developed such a good rapport
back and forth. We just kind of know each other.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
What's even crazy is you live in Chicago. We didn't
even meet till I know, yeah whatever, eight months.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
In Yeah, I know, yeah, people don't know that.

Speaker 5 (05:27):
And when we do meet, it is like it feels
like friends.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
It feels different, it feels like home, like home and
Derby just to like pull the curtain back for a second.
They told you right before they told us, Is that right?

Speaker 5 (05:42):
I think the day Well, actually no, I think they
told both of us on the same day.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
That's so crazy.

Speaker 5 (05:48):
And then you two were the ones, Yeah, you two
are the ones to reach out and you were like, hey,
this happened.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
And I was like, I know, I yeah. Anyway, guys,
what's happening is this is part one and basically we
have two hours left to be allowed in the iHeart offices,
and we are going to use every minute of it,
so part whatever.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
We have to take our box and put our mementos
in which are nothing nothing.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I'm putting an empty frame in it.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
I'm stealing all this shit off random girls desks.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Stephen's little Cardigan is somewhere.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
I also stole a pair of ray Band sunglasses that
someone left in this recording studio a month of true ago.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
And you look so like actually kind of like Chicago girl,
like Lake Michigan.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Bike Michigan. They're like, cool, guy, sure.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, come to our cha Calgo
show to.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
The seven, but also come to Patreon this Friday. So
the second half of this episode will air only on
Patreon on Friday, as will all future episodes of Lippy
book Club on Patreon dot com. Slatch CBC the Pod.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
Again, you guys, we are not going anywhere except for Patreon.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
We are be sent to beautiful patreon dot com, the.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Palm Springs of podcasts.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
I feel like gay vacation destination.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, they're like, go, you need a break, here's some sun.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Wait but he so by phrasers also in here right now.
Engineer one of our incredible engineers. Hello, hello, but he
how did they pack the news.

Speaker 6 (07:17):
To Actually, as soon as y'all told me, y'all were
my first.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Okay point of contact. They didn't think give you the
dignity of signing a name now.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
Wow, because they probably didn't think you cared. I mean,
and maybe you don't.

Speaker 6 (07:32):
It's just a lot of the times I'm not really
in the loop for a good amount of shows because
my primary function, say it, like a my android, my
primary function is to be in the studio in here.
So sure I'm a part of your show, but also
I'm part of like a vast number of other shows.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
So it's like.

Speaker 6 (07:57):
Whoever comes in the record, it's like bam, okay.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
I'm here.

Speaker 5 (08:01):
The heats name gets put on lots of shows.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
He's bicycle everyone's.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
So you know what?

Speaker 3 (08:13):
Also this means club kids is yeah, I mean in
this economy, our income has been.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
So it is sort of being ripped in half. Which
is interesting because I just had a son. So I
have a child, and I have a little kitten that
I just adopted. So money, money, money, and there's like
litter all over.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
My house and but you love it. You know, that's
the thing. When you love something, you clean it up
and you guys I have like a daughter, a ka
or so who's basically a teenager who wants Chanel bags iPhones.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh. Also, my car insurance just doubled by three times.
I just been putting that out.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
You had to stop your insurance scam.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Wait, so you're just registering now where you actually live. Yeah,
because you were writing the scam where you were registered
to your mother's where insurance is a lot less, a
lot cheaper.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
And now I'm paying three times more.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
You're paying how much now?

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Two hundred and seventy dollars a month?

Speaker 1 (09:04):
For understand? This is why we desperately need yourself even
has to buy litter and also medication. I got scammedy
the vet of the day. So we're supposed to get
his one free VET visit with the adoption from the
place we adopted with, so go in. But he's had
a little bit of a cold. Okay, he was on
antibiotics before we got him. He's getting better, it's totally fine.
We're going he's still a little bit sniffy, and then

(09:25):
the vet is like, oh, I don't want to give
him the raby shot today because he's still sniffly. So
actually I'm prescribing you this I drop. So basically he
was kind of being like, I'm not going to give
you the shot today. You have to come back and
pay for another visit to get the shot. And I'm
a little bit like you're basically saying he's completely fine.
He just has like a little bit of a cold and.

Speaker 3 (09:41):
Right, and you want it actually, like, oh, actually come
back next Tuesday. Yeah, I'm getting married next fall. Yeah
I need funds.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah. I'm also I'm moving and I'm not gonna say
where yet, but I will say it on the Patreon,
but I am.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
So find out where Steven's moving.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Where I'm moving on the patrioch. So do you see
a because I see the numbers adding up, and I
see we need you to come over to.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Patriots seeing playing tickets, I'm seeing vet bills, I'm seeing
bespoke tailoring bills.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Especially, do you guys.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Want me every day scooping cold chili into my mouth
in the.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Upper West Side.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Like a shelter. You're fully moving to a shelter, you guys.
It's rough out there. It's bad. Okay, So what book
did we decide to read to celebrate?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (10:32):
Kind of a meta choice it seemed like the only choice.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Kind of yeah, I was ultimately the only choice, the
king of radio, the king of all media. As you
once said, Howard fucking Dark, I was so fucking empowered.
So we read this with this weekend we both want.
We're talking about Private Private Parts, which is his memoir
from the nineties that was turned into a movie starring him.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
As and Robin Quivers and Fred and Stuttering.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
John and Baba Boi's in the movie too, the whole crew.
And I'm reading this book, I'm watching this movie. I'm
just being like, fu fun Howard, like a I fucking
love you Howard for being such a pioneer and like
speaking your mind and not letting these fucking suits drag
you down. And his whole career is just like budding heads.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
With fucking corporate overlords.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
But then showing them whose boss by like winning the ratings.
And I guess that's the one part that's kind of
not no. I know.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
I was like, oh, this is just so us, We're
being so crazy.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
But then it's like all throughout this book and the
movie is like FCC is finding you know him every
second and the suits hate him. And then one guy
is like in a big wide tie and sheep suit
and is like, can't be. They're like, Howard's a five
point nine, he's number one in the market, And I
guess with us, the whole thing is we're literally not

(11:51):
number one of them.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Movie number one, and they're just being like, huh, your
numbers are like really meets.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
But on the other hand, I'm saying to our listeners,
we have the most incredible We have the most incredible
and you make me feel so famous and loved and
like funny, yes, no, even if Stephen is saying, Lily,
you're taking so long to find a page.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
The thing is because like you've been there with us
every step of the way. You appreciate what we do.
You understand the work that goes into it, the work,
and you engage, you respond, you show up, you buy it.
You flotter our gms with like tea about Mary Louise Parker.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
You're like always sending us like random different Royal Butler's
memoirs we need to read.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
And doing our live shows has been like such a
thrill and meeting you guys and it's giving me so
much joy to create this community. So thank you.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Okay, what I love about Howard.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
I mean there's always been like radio plays and there
was like other kind of like shock jocks prace.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
He says he doesn't like no, and I don't think
it was in his intention to shock. He was just
being himself.

Speaker 3 (12:56):
A lot of this book is about like when he
gets to NBC in his like big fight with NBC
and like the rules as Don Imus was there, who's
like the canceled chop.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Chock and Don was like the biggest thing in radio,
and they were like you have to be more like
Don and he was like Donna was boring.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, Donna's so boring and just like is an actual
like bigot is just like doing it for ratings to
like say crazy.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Things, and like Howard's just like I don't know, I
want to like interview a prostitute and like ask her
how many times she came this week? Which is humanizing.
What was your first like experience with did you listen
as good?

Speaker 3 (13:33):
I mean I would hear it as a kid, but
like I didn't listen to it in the car because
like I was listening to Baltasar and Pebbles, the like
R and B station and like Pebbles and they were
being I mean inspired by kind of what Howard did,
of like prank phone.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Calls, and like you had more of a childhood.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
I was a little more dulas and I want to
hear and just being like I need to hear a biggie.
But also my mom was not going to be playing
Howard in the Car.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Like and Howard's cool is like parents literally didn't like it.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
Well except for some people who dig grow up listening
to the car with their dads to Howard, and then
it's like that's a certain type of child Like was
your dad playing Howard in the Car?

Speaker 1 (14:13):
My father obviously not, No, that's what I'm saying. But
I was listening to it with my nannies, and so
I listened to Stern like pretty much every morning for
like several years in elementary school. And I was like, wait,
this is like cool.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
You're like, wait, this is so epic.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
And I think it did like give me I think
a more fun super like like an affinity for the
fucking freaks of the world and the underclass. And like,
I think this quote that Robin has about him in
the book Robin, I think it's very accurate. It's like
shows how he basically has this like completely different attitude

(14:54):
towards like.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
What we're calling the other Let's say, if it's a prostitute.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yes, So she is like working in a news she's
like the news person. And like radio was like the
format was much more strict back then, and they were like, Okay,
if you're going to do a morning show, you need
to have a news person. And so Robin was the
newsperson in DC where Howard was moving after he was
at Detroit. He was like working his way up these
local radio stations and he wanted someone he could like

(15:21):
play with, who could bounce off with. And he had
heard a recording of Robin and had like asked for her,
and he is.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
Like telling like whatever, like the station managers at Detroit
being like I need this oneman. He like loves her
voice and he consents that like she's just chill.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
So then her producer, the program director of like the
DC station, is like reaching out to Robin. She's like, Okay,
let me play a tape of this guy. And so
Robin goes, this is a little like inside the book
that's from Robin. I was thinking right, like this will
make a difference. She put this tape in the machine,
and here came this voice, and I thought, oh my god,
Howard was interviewing a prostegue on this tape. But I
never heard anything like it in my life. You know

(15:58):
how people immediately take a sort of adverse serial position
when they're talking to someone like a prostitute, like you
horrible person, you must have been abused in your life.
Howard wasn't like that at all. He was asking stuff
like how much do you charge? How many people do
you service to day? He was like a getty kid,
just curious about this other person. It wasn't condemnation. It
wasn't we're up here and we look down on you,

(16:19):
you poor dear. He was just treating this prostitute like
everybody else. I immediately also reservations, and I just said,
where do I sign?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
That's how cool is that? I was like, that's.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Distillation of the story. Yeah, we're curiosity first. It's humanizing.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
It's not like a don Imus, which is just like
I'm gonna say crazy things.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Does don Imays even say crazy things? I feel like
he had maybe started to copy Stern at one point.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
He was known as a shock drop before. But it
was like crazy and kind of like who cares? Right,
Like in the eighties it was, but what also Howard
did that like no one else was doing. He was
bringing in so many guests, and he wasn't being like, oh,
I'm bringing in celebrities.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Yes, He's like, I'm interviewing the janitor. Are like calling
the wife of the program director and asking her why
she's not fucking the program director enough on.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Air, And it's like his wife is calling in being
so like do you have a heart on just like Howard,
like you're about to cheat on me? And then Robin
is chiming in just being like, Howard, you've gone too
far this time.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
To this day, I think Stern is still pretty unique, I.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
Think in his interview style and that's why now, like
in his like later serious just like I'm seventy era
and he is like interviewing like Kathy Griffin and then
Barack Obama, right.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
But obviously he's more like letter now and it's like
and he's like a judge on America.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
I think it's like his interview style has always been
this much more like I'm not going to do small talk.
I'm also just not going to like ask you about
your like latest project. Yeah, let's just kind of like
talk for real.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Right, and he's gonna be like damn, like, so you
were married for the seventeen years? Was that like what
was that like? Right?

Speaker 2 (17:52):
And he's saying that even to the janitor.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Right, But I I think, like, you know, back then,
it was like revolutionary to be like I'm going to
treat like a real person. I'm like, yes, I'm going
to be horny because that's who I am, But like
it's not offensive because it's like I am, as Robin says,
genuinely curious. And I think now it's like people would
know that they have to be more respectful of a prostitute,

(18:15):
but it would be condescending.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yes, it's kind of like more in this way of
like if just like a straight man was having a
podcast and he was being kind of like, hey, I'm
actually like interviewing awesome sauce sex workers.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah, and there would be this kind of air of
just like kind of what Robin's saying, like oh, yeah,
poor dear, what happened to you? Or be like oh,
you're so empowered, like you're such a girl, buss, that's
so cool, that's so rad.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
But he was just being kind of like genuinely like
eighties horny, and I mean, also, what's cool about Howard
and his whole crew. It's like compared too of today,
It's like they're not in cells, even though.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
A lot of his crew are like freaky twenty.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
Nine year old version guys. Yeah, but it's not that
same kind of like.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
But they're talking about it and they're being open about it, and.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
They're just like I would say, this whole book, and
I think like Howard's like ethos of like where he
came from and why he had his show is because
he's just kind of like a weird looking guy who
like has a small dick and he has that like insecurity.
But it's also like I'm funny and like, you know,
his whole thing is basically.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
As many books are about, is wanting to please the father.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
And his father was a radio man. He was always
telling him to shut up.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, And so it's this whole.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
Book is Howard being like, dad told me to shut up.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Well. It's interesting though, because it's like, on the one hand,
it's a rebellion against the father telling you to shut
up and be like no, I'm going to talk. I'm
going to talk, talk, talk, but it's also being the father, yeah,
because like I want to go to father proud. Every
time he gets a new radio job, he's calling his
dad being like, get this. They're offering me twenty eight
thousand do the morning show in Hartford. And it also
is like so he grew up as like the one

(19:48):
white kid in what's it called Roosevelts, Long Island.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
I think Rockville Center, No.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
It was he was Rosevelt from the Rockfield and he
was just being like my mom was like she was
like being such a like liberal do gooder and was
just like no, like I love my middle class black
like neighbors and like we're staying in this town. He's
just been like I'm getting beat up every single day
at school and like everyone is stealing my lunch money
and calling me a huge like Jewish honky.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
And he's like seven feet tall, like and then he
ends up going to be you for like communications for
like radio school, and he has like such a like
insecurity of like, oh, I'm like such a loser and
have such like my still getting late.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
He's still getting laid.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
And then just like his first wife, Allison's he met
in college, it's like he kind of acts like he's
so single for so long.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
But like he's also like having sex in high school,
which is just like, you know.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Some of us weren't as queer folks, like yeah, don't privilege.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
We don't have that opportunity or I guess like we didn't,
but now they do. But also, this is what I
don't get. Some like kids are always having sex so young. No,
but also gen Z doesn't have sex, and I'm like, so,
wait are they? Are they not?

Speaker 3 (20:56):
I don't know cause those are also like headlines they
want us to hear to be like gen Z isn't
having sex.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
But I'm like, they are because they're on their phones.
But then I'm like, but they're also gay and they're open.
I was.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
I was thrifting and there was like a mini Me
and Maya at the thrift store and they were like
Long Island Rockville Center, butch fem teens at the thrift
store dating, like making on, holding hands and like also
looking at cargoes, and I.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Was like, hold on, so what was the FM wearing?

Speaker 2 (21:24):
Okay, so it was like a little kind of like
tight jeans.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
Fuck, long hairs, not too big though round.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
You're gonna be so hard right now, Okay, can we.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Talk about the boobs in private parts and kind of
the boobs in Howard Stern's worlds.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
They're all like huge and fake, That's.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
What I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (21:45):
I'm like, we don't have those, like the fake boobs now,
don't look like that.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
I don't know, girl, go to Miami, like you walk
down the street, like there are massive, huge floating.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
No, there's a massive like flotation device face tits.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
But the way they are fake in the nineties, I
think is different from how they.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
It was more now they were more circular.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
It was a huge balloon.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
They were. Yeah, they were like softballs, you know what
I mean. Like that's like always like bam up here.
And now they're a little more tear dropping and like
more now.

Speaker 3 (22:12):
Yeah, I think there's been some progress that's sometime kind
of the evolution of the plastic surgery to make it
more like just like round and phone Kardashian. Unless this
like huge, you could like put a pin in it.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
It was really balloon pop city back then.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Let's talk about I listened to Nick Carter and WBCN
in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Oh mama, I listened to.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
Afternoon okay and Nick Carter could not be like more
of like you know, like Stern was his idol, and
he had this thing called every other by Fridays.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
That's so us and every other summer No, but yeah
that must have like come in supplimin.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
No truly and it like this was my full porn.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
Like so, by the way, this book Private Parts, it
starts off by like a guy pulling over to jerk
off to the Hard Sturd show and he was like,
I can't believe I'm jerking off to a call in show.
So by Fridays is they would have like a hot
buy girl who like went to BC like on BCN
and then they would have like hot chicks like call

(23:25):
in for her and they would like set her up
and the girl would like interview the three girls like
vying for her, and then they she would like report
back about like their date like a week later.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I was like, off that you and that is what.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
Yeah, thrifted acid wash it and soaked mama from that.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
And it was always a girl being like I have
a piercing on my clip.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Okay, Howard Stern even though like some people may think
like oh, like you know, he objectified, It's like no,
one else was literally just talking about lesbians as much
as Howard start No Think, and it's like, yes, obviously
he was being so like in ninety stand up comedy
about it and being so I want to prove that
like there are lesbians not in carpenter jeans and like

(24:21):
hiking boots and was just having like porn stars. But
still he was the only one kind of being like,
let's have like like fem for from lesbian salt.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
There is this thing and in some ways, like the
culture wars kind of are the same now as they
were then. In some ways they've shipped obviously, like there's
some stuff that's taboo now that wasn't then and vice versa.
But like it reminds me of that people talk about
Nathan Field are being like exploitative, but I'm just like
when you watch Nathan show, it's like there are just
like real people like being real and like funny. Yeah,

(24:55):
and like he is just like having janitors and like
Deli guys on the show and like.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
It's just kind of ra and like antique owners.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
And it's like I think people are like uncomfortable with
that because it's not someone being so media trained and
saying that like they're a she boss and so it's like,
I mean, I.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Think also the Nathan Fielder thing was like.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Obviously it's separate because he's like an absurdist comedian, but
it's like right, people.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
Are mad that Howard kind of was like objectifying and
everyone's thing is being like you're disgusting.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
But if we think about it's.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
Like Howard, people are masking their own disgust like with
It's like it's like or like where it's just like
people are grossed out by like fucking real people. Guys,
They're like grossed out by reality, and like they try
to mask that disgust by saying that it's like wrong
or exploited it for Howards starting like talk to prostates.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Actually well and if you can see it in the
way that.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
He's also being horny.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yes, it's like, yes he's being horny, but he also
he wanted to have at first a gay guy dial
a date skit on the show, but.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
He was like bink Tin Blade put out a story
saying they were so happy that like they did this
lesbian dial a date. They were like, oh, like actually,
Howard Stern, like even the people call a shock shock
is like really giving a voice to.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Our community truly, and it was like, oh, well, let
me start with lesbians, because like they're more popular. They're
more popular, even though actually lately.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Now they're not okay, but this is also they was thinking.
I was like, to lesbians, how it's searched, are always like.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Not, well, that's what I'm saying. They're like porn stars,
porn starts.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
He wasn't having like elevating like actually awesome for theem.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
Right, And then I like today it's like we are
kind of the same thing where it's just like the
conservative manosphere is just being like, well, like lesbians are
just like feminists with like nose parcenes and like that's
not hot to me, and like there aren't these like
buxome long right, And I feel.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
Like I'm also just so stern and my sexuality was
shaped by just like hot fem for fast.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Like there aren't any just like.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
But there are for thumbs. I know there are, No,
they're not like two bunny exos.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
No, I'm sure there are couples that are like, but
it's like too hot bunny exos.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
I guess like Tampa Bays is like ask I know
that as a gas, but like those girls are still
being like wide flat brim, you know.

Speaker 3 (27:20):
Well one is always a little more footge and Jo
just like is being flatbrim, even if they are being
kind of Stern and bucks.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
But then the famin is not like so like red lips,
long blonde hair, She's like a little bit more brunette
and tank top.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
No Stern had porn stars on. Okay, but I think
we can all agree. But still I think people wanted
to act like that was like so like offensive, yet
at the time like they didn't even want to say
the word lesbian.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Right, so and he was saying it over and over.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Over and over.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
So let's do a little skit here. Okay, I'll be
Lisa by the way. Just the first chapter of this
book is called Lesbians Lesbians, which is iconic. I'm a blonde.
People tell me I look like Catherine Oxenberg. I have
a really good body.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
How big are your breasts?

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Thirty sixty? I think, what do you mean? I think
I know her wear a bra, so I don't know
how big I am. I think I'm a d What.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
About your waist twenty four hips thirty six?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
And you really dig lesbian?

Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (28:23):
And how old were you when you first had lesbian sex?

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Eighteen?

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Who with a friend?

Speaker 2 (28:28):
No, my mother's friend, an older woman sedus too, Yes,
she was thirty two.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
I was really frightened when it happened, but it ended
up feeling really And.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
You were fully developed at eighteen? Were you not?

Speaker 3 (28:40):
Well?

Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah? I guess so.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Your breasts were a full D cup, your body had developed.
You had hair on your body.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
I sprout it out early.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
I yes? Do you shave?

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah? I do?

Speaker 1 (28:49):
You grew him very nicely? Yes? Yeah? Close? Crop, very close? Crop?
Are you blonde? All over? Light brown? Really excellent?

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Well, now let me ask you something. This front of
your mother's what did she look like?

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Really dark hair? She looks like Demimore with long legs
and big breasts and stuff. She was thin and tall.
She had a beautiful face.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
So your mom was real young when she had you. Yeah,
So how did you end up with your mom's friend?

Speaker 2 (29:19):
She would always come into my room and watch me change.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Had she ever seen you knew growing up?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:24):
Had she seen you knut at eleven twelve? I would say,
so you knew at fifteen?

Speaker 3 (29:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Oh man, I'm so turned on. I'm acheen. That's how horny.
I am for you because you look like Katherine Oxenbourg
from Dynasty, the long blonde hair, the perfect but perfect
and you've runway modeled. I'm offering you to the lesbian
community today. Am I not the greatest friend of the
lesbian community? Do lesbians adore Howard Stern? If any of
you freaking homemost say a bad thing about me again,
I'm going to complain to somebody in the gay organizations.

(29:51):
So what were you wearing the day she came over?
You're probably in your sleep wear, weren't you? Fuck night
came I remember that as a kid, and like I
was with my nanny and I had like a succession
of all these different nannies and like multiple nannies listen to.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Struct like your nannies were.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
So they're all so stern because like they were these
like badass babies that is with like scrunches on the
gearship Like at this one baby sit are with like
the ford Ex flour with the scrunch.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
Scrunch is like that's like a cockring, Like that's an
eighties cock craw.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Like I'm Adam eight years old. It's seven fifteen in
the morning and driving to school, there's scrunches on the
gear ship, and Howard certain just being like, all right,
so I've got three prostitutes and one of a vegetarian.
So I'm gonna smell the vaginas. I'm gonna smell the
vaginas right now, and I'm gonna tell you which one's
a vegan, all right? And Robin's like, how hard Howard?

(30:54):
Come on?

Speaker 2 (30:55):
Who about?

Speaker 3 (30:56):
Also the dynamic between him and Robin is she is
I'm on and is the voice of reason. But she's
also smelling pussy.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
I mean like she's not being.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
Like, oh god, constantly eye roll because she's like, okay,
let me smell.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Because she's not the one saying just like oh no, Howard,
need to respect women. She's looking at these women just
being like not this house.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, she would be like, well, yours to be here?

Speaker 6 (31:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (31:20):
And I think that also, like is actually more respectful
to just be like, well, listen, I'm gonna treat this
like a real human being who's been insane. And it
is like coming on a radio.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Show now, not having the dynamic of like this woman
is nagging me, yes, you know yes? And so his
wife in the book is Alison. They were married from
nineteen seventy eight to two thousand and one.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
It's interesting the devotionally few years after the whole book
movie thing, because the movie ends with them like him
being like, I got my kids, my wife, my number
one radio show. I couldn't be happy.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
I could cheat it like now, like finally that I'm famous,
I could cheat on her. And you know a few
instances were like he almost does, but then he sees
her and he's like.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
You know what all I need is Allison.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
And he says in interviews like, well, kind of the
only thing I really haven't talked about is because of
my divorce. And he was like, it's because I have
my like three wonderful just like conservative Jewish daughters. One
of his daughters like is a rabbi?

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Wait?

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Really seriously? Yeah, oh Howard Stern.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
That is so Stern. Wait, that's really funny, I.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Know, which also is a very identical.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Your rabbi is Howard Stern's daughter, just like Rebecca Stern.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Literally Rebecca Stern.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
And I think it's like he does fall into this
classic like sometimes you know, it's like the craziest comedians
and shock jocks and actors like really do not lead
a crazy life because it's like it's left all for
the show.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
But also like to be up at like five in
the morning every day. You can't literally can't be crazy.
You're like going to bed early.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
There's an interview with all a Sudden. They're like, oh,
is he always jerking off at home? And she's like,
I actually have never like walked in on him drinking off. Yeah,
And he always talks about like, oh, well, I have
to wake up so early, so I have to drink
off so I can fall asleep satterly.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
And then she's like, well, I haven't seen that.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
I mean, I will say this, honey, it's easy to
masturbate and have your partner not know your mask well right.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Also, I'm sure he's masterman is taking two minutes.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
And I jack off. I can see my boyfriend in
the other room through our interior window. I'm at my desk. Okay,
he's at the kitchen table. I'm jacking off. I'm watching porn.
I'm on the headphones.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
You run huge, I got my cans on. I got
on the cans Are they the same ones you podcast?

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Fuck? Yeah, they are.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Imagine you have like special porn headphones that are like,
actually more of these big beads.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
I want like really high sound quality.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
Five hundred dollar apples canceling to watch just like three
minutes of Oh, what's the one that I always like watching?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh? Fun size boys?

Speaker 2 (33:59):
I know they small.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
It's like the top is really big and the bottom
is really small.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Binner. It's like, yeah, but I have to tell you,
this is such a stirring question.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
I asked.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
We were having a conversation about sex on Saturday, you
and me and some.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
Friends, and then I came home and I asked mine.
I was like, would you like sleep with someone with
one leg?

Speaker 6 (34:21):
Wait?

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Is so stir We were having that gobble to speak
up and she.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
Goes in a second. In a second, she goes, of course,
in a second.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
We all got that one girlfriend who's too woke. She's like,
I would never.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
It was like, come on, in a second, you answer
that one really fast. She seeused to be different, Like
they're not covered in boils, it's just one leg.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
Oh, so the monkey po's victim doesn't get fucked by
your fiance. That's real nice.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
So the boils community stay away from her.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
As I said, I am, I would probably suck a
guy with one arm before one leg. Right, there's part
of me that thinks there would be like really cute,
like marry a guy with one arm?

Speaker 3 (35:01):
See is that condescending though you're saying it's be really
cute of me. Yeah, yes, not really cute of him,
be really cute of you.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Oh no.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
And I'm mean honest about that, And it would be
kind of saving me to do that. But I mean, like,
obviously personality be everything. I just picture a guy with
one arm beings so like sweet, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
And you think one like this chip on his shoulder
kind of No, it's obviously all about it. I don't
care about looks.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
It's always about personality and brain and values of respect.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Way to find if love is really blind.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
I want to talk about just some anal stuff because
one of the first interviews I remember ever reading with
Howard Stern was that he had anal fishers, like being
eleven and like opening up a rolling stone and.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Have you ever had a fishers?

Speaker 2 (35:52):
No, an anal fisher, So that's like I don't think
I have.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
So what happens is it's like it's just like tiny
little referations in the anal wall. So it's like little
like cuts or like holes. But you can get it
from not having a fibercent enough diet. So people think
you get it from getting fucked by so many like
knife cocks, yeah, and like getting like too ravaged. But
I actually had it once when I was living in
France in my early twenties.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Oh, because you were being so full grawl, I.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
Think so, And I was like two pete and that
I just like had to take and it like it
was just painful. It just like hurt to like shit
and wipe, and so I would have to kind of
like make a like a sitz bath kind of yeah,
just like a two inch warm water bath in the
bottom of the shower and kind of squat in that.
And it was kind of annoying.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
I mean maybe I have had them, but I don't think.
I mean there's been times where.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
White does it hurt?

Speaker 2 (36:44):
No?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Has it ever?

Speaker 2 (36:47):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (36:47):
At like one point, yeah, after a rough go at it.

Speaker 1 (36:53):
But he he says this thing that his mom didn't
a white.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
So he says, which again this whole book is like
origin of wait, do I have the wiping page? Here?

Speaker 1 (37:02):
It goes Lily, I didn't write down that, but he
says his mom like didn't teach him how to wipe any.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
Properly, and of course he is bing the mother. Yeah,
it's kind of classic searching for father's.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Approval while blaming them the mother for.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
All your sexual well shortcomings.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, but that's the edible complex. It's like, because the.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Mom's complex, you want to fuck the mom.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, and when she doesn't let you, that's what fucks
you up.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
But it sounds like he says she has an obsession
with his private regions.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
Yeah, I mean that is weird.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
It's a little more different.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
Basically, he's washing his underwear until he's like eighteen, like
really vigorously and then going through with the fine tooth colms. Yeah,
with the family when there's skid marks.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
And being like, oh, don't touch that. I'm washing like
Howard's accident underpants.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
I mean it's humiliating. It is humiliating, but and she
denies it in the movie. End of the book.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
I think like anything that a mom does to son
is going to be like sexually humiliating on some level,
you know what I mean, Whereas the dad it's like.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
More this emotional kind of like you're nothing.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I guess, like there's an emasculation there too, But I
think because the dad though, is like threatened by the son.
Like the dad is ultimately like, well, the son is
my replacement, and so like.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
The father maybe wishes the mother was going through his underwear. Yes,
but then he calls his mom on the show and
asks like if she's celibate, and she's like, no, I'm not, yeah,
which is so iconic.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
It's like, yes, her father and I do have sex.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
And he's been like ew, like do you have anal?
And she's been like, oh, how.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
Should we call your mom right now and ask him
the last time she had sex.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
Was maybe, well, your parents are still together, let's call yours.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
I'm very curious. I think I know when the last.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Time my mom had sex was May seventh.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
I'd like know that, like three five.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
There's a Trump sighting in this book, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
He says Trump one of my most interesting guests.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
He says, the only man who's a bigger germophobe than him.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Which also makes so much sense.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
He's just like so hand sanitizer.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Right, and like getting so dry with his hands.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
Well, that's why because he's so like McDonald's, because like
McDonald's is like not real foods, Like he doesn't like
like real things hands touching.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
That's like if you were to have some gorgeous meal
at new restaurant, howked dot bay it, Yeah, Trump go
there because no it's a small kitchen.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Yes, And he does want people like touching.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
He only wants like food that's been like windexed. It's
like that's why he likes McDonald.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Since windex food that has like just been defrosted.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
And he's so like wet ones and like everything getting
wet ones and.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
Like dude wipes and just like cleaning his mouth with
windecks and so Howard is like, oh, you must have
like slapped with so many people, and then like Donald
is kind of like, oh, but like I'm sketched by germs.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
And it goes with all those girls just growing around with.
Aren't you afraid of aids? I asked jerremphobia is the
problem that Donna admitted. You have to be selective. It's
pretty dangerous out there. It's like Vietnam dating is my
personal Vietnam. Howard just grows. I love that quote. He's
always one of my best guys. It's like, I love
that great of a quote.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
I know I love him.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
It's funny the people that like who he hates and
who he like loves, and it is very like nineties
in this I mean, this book is nineties. But he's like,
I hate Madonna because she's so full of herself.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, but I mean, of course he hates because like
Madonna is, she takes herself so serious. She's really pretentious
and she's earned the right to be. But it's like
that's not him. It's like he loves Sandra Bernhard and
I'm Madonna.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
He's like, can we talk about you and Madonna and
your sexual relationship again, elevating lesbians.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
And he loves John Rivers of course, and like they're
always joshing each other and making fun of each other.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
And he is making fun of Joan Rivers for crying
about her dead husband so much, which is such.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
A like Joan Rivers thing to do.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
I love that. I felt like that was such a
tribute to Joan the little junk want that she would
totally want that she would love someone to like drag
her for talking about death husband like ad nauseum, and
like people would be too afraid to say that about her.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
I also, I was obsessed he does have a stance
on like gay people the end where he's like, people
think being gay is biological, but I think it's just
men like putting off the future.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Oh and it's like immaturity.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
It's immaturity because it's like you're putting off having a
family and you're just being like, oh, what if I
played with boys from longer?

Speaker 1 (41:30):
I mean tea, that's true as someone who just had
a child.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Well, so now gay guys can adopt cats?

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Yeah? Am I so gay? It's the question.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
Well, but as you said, a boy cat.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yeah, and I feel like our friends were like, wait,
are you do you consider him your son? You're like sometimes,
but also we're all three brothers and it's a sick
sexual game.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
But it's also desexualizing the way like I will admit, like,
you know, since we got a cat, are we having SYXO?
Gonna be a little bit loud, like yes, there's a
litter box in our bedroom, you know what I mean.
But that's also sleeps in between us at night. So
it's like a little you know, long.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
Term relationships, it's up, it's down sometimes it's.

Speaker 1 (42:13):
Yeah, every second. I mean, we're also having new.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Cat sex totally, totally.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Which is incredible.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
So if you're wondering, committed new cat sex is amazing,
Like the time we are having sex, you're like, oh,
and it's not about quantity, it's about and it's so
romantic and committed and you're looking at each other's eyes
being so like should we do automatic chewy pantents? Because
my question with lesbians though, is then that is the reverse.

(42:45):
It's almost this hypermaturity because if the opposite of the
stereotype about lesbians are to u haul and to like
buy a house and like start a farm and like
adopt like so many refugees.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
So if Howard is saying gay guys.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Oh, gay guys are immature, lesbians are like hypermature. They're
like running towards old age.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, it's like sprinting.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
But then so is he he very like being more
just like classic, just like Jewish straight guy of like
the eighties getting married at like twenty two.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Yeah, and like to like one of his like first
second girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Right because he was like, well, she's into me.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
And this is what comes back to him of being
so just like traditional in this way because it's just
like he like went to school for communications like wanting
to work on radio, married his college girlfriend, like just
his way up in the radio industry. Like that was it.
It was such a linear track, right.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
Like he gets one advertising job for like six months,
and I just love that. He was always like I
want to have like a comedy show. Like it was
like less about like the music. Yeah, which is so
funny thinking of like Howard even like having to play
music because by the time we were listening to Howard with
your Babysitters.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Or whatever, let me throw on an AC DC track.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yeah, it was like syndicated just talk in the morning.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
There's something about human verbal communication and talking that like
helps your body get ready for the day and where
music feels too evening.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
And that's why.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
Also like morning radio shows are always the craziest and
it's a prank phone call.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
No, they have an insane amount of energy because they
need to like make up for your lack of energy.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
As you're the coffee.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
And they're also literally waking up at two am to
get to the studio by four. And again this is
me manifesting reading this, I was like.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
I know, like radio is over, but I'm like I
would love I know.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
I was feeling this further work on radio, and like
just the magic of it of a going into this
and you know that's why I have I will say,
I've loved so much coming here, coming.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Here, that's the best part, like of course.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
Our producers and talking with you, but literally to get
off at the fifty seventh Street stop.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
And like come up to this office overlooking Midtown Manhattan
out the window, to be on a microphone in a
studio with the little clock taking in the corner, like
and the on.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
Air it makes me feel so howard.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Yeah, like the fucking jocks I listened to as a kid,
well closet an eight year old.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
The studio is set up like more radio, less podcast
and like less like couch and like frame photos of
like mister show behind us. This has feltmore radio, which
has been like such a dream and I do feel
like so grateful like that we've gotten to have this time.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Okay, there's a lot more I want to talk about
because I do want to get into his like drum
with NBC, and also.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
You should talk about that in part two.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
I should talk about that in Part two, which is
coming out this Friday on Patreon dot com CBC the pod,
but should we maybe do our iHeart muckbang.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
Now, yeah, let's do a muff bang.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
And then okay, I'm gonna go raid the iHeart kitchen
fridge and like just steal random girl salads because this
is our last day here, and what are they gonna
do with fire us? Okay, you guys, I heard fidge
is so bare and it's so sad, like all the

(46:12):
lorens are gone. Okay, we have a box of blueberries
that are not rotten, thank you very much. There was
this weird bag that was full of all these unmarked, like.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Holding up really pulpy juices. I just fear that those
are from literally a year ago. And that's where we
get food poisoning from press.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
It's like this turmeric thing and there was a ton
of But if it's sealed right.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
I don't know, because I've heard of friends getting food
poisoning from juice press.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Are you serious it's from the bottled juices?

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Okay, here we have someone's like little lunch bag. There
is garlicky Trader Joe's Seasoning Blend. This is the saddest
office on earth. Someone is bringing their own Trader season
Blend seasoning blend. And then there's just like a bag
of granola inside.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
Well, this is very how we're talking about how don
Imus got a limo and he was always just taking
the subway to work.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
We can eat this granola. This is fine.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
Yeah, I'll try the seasoning plund.

Speaker 6 (47:15):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Okay, it's a little I would say it's a little stale.
Do you want to try this? And it's actually very sweet.
Whoever this trader Joe's person is Okay, bagged trees. So
there was like a whole box of this from we
Lura Strong cell cellular function booster. It was like from
some company Okay and adh coq ten collagen dietary supplement.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
This granola, it's kind of citrusy.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
And this expires February twenty twenty five. So this is like,
oh that's good. I'll take that all right. So let's
try these wellness stocks.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
I love my Shelvel wellness shot. You always feel like
you're fixing everything.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
A doctor before if you are planning surgery.

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Wait, sorry, before you take this.

Speaker 1 (47:54):
You can't have this if you're having surgery.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
So that kind of makes it seem like it actually
does something.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
I doubt it. I mean, what's it doctor?

Speaker 3 (48:02):
If you're nursing pregnant medical condition, planning surgery.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
These statements have not been a valuable pending.

Speaker 4 (48:09):
Uh oh tastes like orange juice, mango juice.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
I was expecting something so much stronger. Yeah, more of
a ginger shot.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
It's not really that gingery.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
It's kind of a thick mango. I mean it's good.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Actually because of it's not good the way it lingers
on it out. Actually don't like it.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
That's the aluminum that if you're planning surgery.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
We've got a Cafe latte Premiere protein shake.

Speaker 2 (48:38):
Oh, let's do that.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Poor girl brought that and was like, no, I forgot
about it.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
There's something very nineties about this. One of my nannies
used to drink slim Fast, my first nanny.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
It's one of the most nanny drinks.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
And I remember like opening the pantry and seems so
much slim Fast and just being like, so, it's like
chocolate milk. I think the biggest blow is actually gross.
I am calling it. I think it's gross.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
I'm fine with that. I'm getting into the willower.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
My babysitter would do slim Fast, but then I feel
like also be so eating a sleeve of non fat
like cookies.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Right, and it's just like, well if you're having the
whole sleeve.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Even though they're non fat. And again it's like the
nineties was all about.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
Is also gross, no fast gross. Oh wait, there's a
string cheese. This will be good.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Let me try the seasoning blend.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
I always think unless it is made by like a
cool southern man, it is such a chicken rub. Seasoning
lends are scams. Speaking of scams, it's always just like
human paprik and garlic powder mixed together. And then it's
always like Tony Smokey's like, amazing chicken.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
You're kind of like, well, I have those I could
just use those spices.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Okay, it smells like pizza place.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
The spring cheese tastes like string cheese.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Just to let you guys know, see, here's the thing,
this is actually kind of good.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
The trader Joe is eating your words.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
It's mince garlic, sea salt, like parsley red pepper.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
When you try someone the string cheese, Wait.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
Why don't you give me a piece of string cheese
and let's both put the seasoning on it.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
This is what I call pizza.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
That string Oh it does smell like pizza, and it
looks it has like red pepper in a reguar. It
looks like pizza. This was just pizza.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Slapped with that one. Mama Josephine Ate, here's why we're
not stern.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
Is the most chaotic thing we can think of doing
is having expired Walura shots.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
But that's just our generation, okay, And I'm not trying
to copy.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
No, And like, while Lura is comedy to us, and
it's like that's fine.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
I mean when my most iconic moment working for when
I work for Springer, which I feel like they are
too kind of go in tandem with each other. Except
the difference is like Jerry's whole thing is that like
he kind of pretends like he has like no idea
what's going on, and he just like shows up and
is like, so, you know, what do you think about this?

Speaker 1 (51:01):
But I think he has I don't think they're the
same because I don't think that he possesses the same
like curiosity that Howard String.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
No, No, that's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
I'm more like when people are like, you're exposing trash
to America.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
Oh, they are revealing their own disgust for the underclass.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
Absolute and he's being like, okay, well if you think
they're trash, yeah, No, I think Springer had much more.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
You know. That's to get into his Psyche's another episode.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
But the episode I worked on was about beast reality
and I had to walk a goat.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Wait that somebody was fucking.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yeah outside of the studio because they brought in all
these farm animals and they use some.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Of them and it was like this like some podunk
farmer being like, yes, I do, fuck my goat.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Yeah, And it was him admitting to her, confronting him,
being like you fuck goats.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
You're not fucking me enough. You're fucking the goats too much.

Speaker 3 (51:49):
So then he shaved her head because she was like,
sheer me like a sheep, because that's like what you're into.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
I mean, that's just good television, Like that's just produce.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
That's I mean, it wasn't real.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
There.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
He paid her five hundred dollars to shave her head,
and I remember seeing her after. She was in a
huge Rainfores's Cafe tied eye T shirt and her head
was just shaved and I was like, damn, how you look.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
See? Uh yeah, But not to Howard for a second.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
I think the way he played with the executives is
so funny, and he was so fearless. I think at
that point he also knew he was number one in
the country. So it's like he had that confidence behind him.
But he had that confidence, you know before when he
was in Detroit and was just like, this is a
small station. So and I think what it took is

(52:45):
like in the beginning he was being a little more
like random disc jockey and then you know, his wife
said to him.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
I like, coming, you're just yourself.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
I love that seeing the movie. Yeah, and it's so true.
And people like us the most when it's just.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Us, right, just respond to being real.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
And so if you want to hear more, ask go
to Patron. Complete the bottom. All right, you guys, we
have to wrap up part one of this episode, but
we are going to get into the round.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
Let's talk more about our contract.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
You guys, this isn't the end. Don't be sad. We're
still here.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
We're still here, We're.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Still doing this.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
We are very reachable.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Yep. Okay, So if you want to keep listening to
the pod, you have to add a Patreon and Lily,
can I just say I love you, dog. I mean
that from the bottom of my heart. This show is
so fun because I get to come to talk to
my best friend every week for multiple hours. And every
time that I feel like I don't want to do

(53:43):
it or that I'm like, oh, this is like not
the direction I want my life to be going in.
Or I'm bored, or I'm tired, or I'm hung over,
or I'm sad because I'm going to break up. It's like,
I come here, we talk and we laugh, We have
so much fun, and you're such a genius and you're
so smart, and you're so and you're so good. You

(54:04):
don't just lift me up when I fall, but you
fill in every gap that I didn't even know I
had in my mind, and you just you fill it in.
You paint the picture with me, baby, and I feel
so supported and I feel like so at ease every
time because I'm just like, I know that you know,
no matter what I say, You're gonna be able to
go with it. And that is just you know, it's huge,

(54:25):
from one robin to another.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
It's like the Tale of two Robs.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
So thank you for being on this journey with me.
And I can't wait to see where.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Its How do I even follow that? Okay, yeah, I'm
like from the moment I lay.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Were summer camp, so we're a stummer camp. But no,
I mean it's so crazy. It's like, yes, you're my
partner in crime, and I'm always like, oh, Stephen, but
it's like it's kind of there.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Go Stephen again.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
He's trap sing in, he's wearing seven scars. I can't
believe how lucky I am to talk to you every day. Well, okay,
you guys, you joined the patroon enough we might.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Do every day.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
We can do it every day, you know, I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
It's like it's insane. You're so smart, Like I'm intimidated
by house are you are?

Speaker 4 (55:26):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Stop at No, I won't.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
You're literally like a genius no.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
I know.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Anywhere?

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Yeah, and almost to your detriment, I think.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
So that's why I don't tell you often how how
genius you are, because I think it's your genius for
your good that sometimes you stop yourself from what you can.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Do right, and like the lesson of Stern is just
like go for.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
It, keep on going.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
And it's like I always used to think, oh, I
have to hide behind a character, but I can't do
that with you.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
I mean, sure we can do a voice.

Speaker 3 (56:00):
We can do our cold opens, but you'll see right
through it's just being real right here on the ground.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
And it's true.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
I mean there have been times back in the old
days when I mean some of the hardest times in
my life and people were like, oh, are you sure
you want to like record, maybe like take a beat,
and I was like, no, what am I going to do?

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Stay home?

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (56:22):
What makes me feel better?

Speaker 3 (56:24):
Literally, nothing makes me feel better than I'm just again
this goddamn I getting in the fit fucking studio and
talking with you Cloud kids.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Thank you for being out on this journey so far.
We will see you on Patreon. Stay tuned for part two,
where we would talk more about sturing. We'll do segments,
but we'll also really just like reveal the tea.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
In part two. Yeah, oh okay, cool. Yeah, people like, wait,
but how does he live?

Speaker 1 (56:46):
Yeah, and you'll they'll find out on Friday.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
This is just our corporate era. We had our Indian era.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Right and now we're moving into our like user supported era.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Yeah, kind of our modern twenty twenty five just like
classic yeah, direct consum Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Rah called DT motherfucking sea bitch.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Let's get this bag together. Yeah, literally, let's get this
bag bitches.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
Let's make this bred New York cityst girls.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Get ready with me to leave the iHeart Studio for
the last time.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Okay, Okay, I love you, Kay, love you. We'll see
you on Patreon, see you on patreon dot com plus.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
The pod Patreon dot com, slash CBC, the pod best Best,
Let's say the best. This podcast was produced by iHeartMedia,
which is owned by Clear Channel, which was purchased for
five hundred and eighty dollars eighteen.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
We would like to extend a huge thank you to
Bobby Pittman, Bye boy CEO of Casa Dragones Tequila and
the owner of a yacht on which I have done
bumps of caviar.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
Just because we're leaving iHeart, the golf game is still on. Okay,
I'll tell you that. Okay, you're not getting away from me.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
Do you bring the tequila shout out. I want to
thank the hallway at iHeart.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
The psychotic like CIA torture device hallway that plays music
in like a really janky way based on your foot movement.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
I want to thank our first front dust girl at iHeart.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Marisol, Yes, I miss her.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
It was so iconic.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah, and she was like a temper and she contracted
right out of here.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
And I remember she was I was so sad when
she left, and now we're the ones leaving.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
I want to thank Abigail, the current current front.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Dust girl who rocks it and open socked away and
every time I think we're going to bring her on
with you, I want to get to know her.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
I want to thank all the girls we don't recognize.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
Here and we will continue to never know your names,
but in my mind you're all Lauren Darby Masters. You've
produced the ship out of the show for two years.
We wouldn't be who we are today without you.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
No, I think I would have changed my name.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
I want to thank a Boo Zafar, our associate producer
who has rocked sated himself down and I want to think,
but he killed it on the engineering, you know, but
you came in. You were a pinch hitter at first.
Isn't that crazy? That's insane. You were just the alternate

(59:20):
and now now full time, Okay, you're the big one.
You're out lasting us and you're seeing us come and go.
I almost like you're the future. I will carry the CV.
You have to carry the flag forward to carry a retort.
Oh God. I want to thank our.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Executive producer, the one and only Christina.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
We've never met you, we probably never will. I feel
like John McCain handing over the Republican Party to Sarah
Palin in two thousand and eight after he lost the election.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
I want to think Megan McCain, who is an associate
producer on this podcast.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
She gave us all of our talking points.

Speaker 1 (59:59):
And she's still our freethinking sister, Megan McKay.

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
I want to thank our other freethinking sister, Chelsea Gabbert, who.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Used to this podcast we read Prologue projects. Yes, thank
you to Prologue for kicking us off. Kick us off.
What a journey we had. You got us here, you
helped us make money, and now no one's making money.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Yeah, it's just cool and that's the cycle of life.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
I want to thank my friend Steven Freakin' Phillip's.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
Horst for two and on my dope ask music production and.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I know music is your dream. Get no, give me
a moment.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
I know you don't want to be here, you want
to be out at the festivals and the E d
M clubs.

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
And maybe I will now that I have more time.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
And finally, maybe you can become like a Moby a
cover band.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
I do want to be like a Late in Life
movie and I can do that. You literally can, and
I will. And if you guys like my music production,
you can hear more of it over at patreon dot
coms to student the pod, where I have several versus
of the theme song that I trot out every week.
You never know what you're gonna get, but there's a
lot of cool songs happening over there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I want to thank Teddy blakes Ro for doing our
cover art and now our massive soundboard cover art is
sitting in my car and it's so heavy and I
need Oh wait, Patreon drive, does someone want to buy
a huge.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
I love the idea of this. Credit's going on for
like ten minutes. It's just that background music. It's a
still can like over and over and over and over.
Agun but serious, you guys.

Speaker 3 (01:01:28):
Thank our overloords iHeart for giving us a salary for
two years.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Yeah, like we did successfully scan them into giving this
money for a frankly very niche podcast, So.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
Kind a salary for like a public school teacher just
starting out.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
But still that was the level of power. But you know,
we still appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
No, it's huge, So not anyone else out there.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
The security guard who like finally started recognizing me after
two years of coming to this office, Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
I do see you guys.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
Shout out to the Duncan Lounge, a floor we have
never been to in this building. I want to thank
all the Midtown establishments that charge those drinks.

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Yeah, shout out to the tanning salon that stephen.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
You and we can still come back to Midtown we will,
but thank you to our heart team.

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Bless y'all. Bless y'all while to feel so blessed.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
And we'll see you on the flip side.

Speaker 3 (01:02:26):
Do you want Patreon dot com

Speaker 2 (01:02:31):
Thirty minutes of credits Obsessed