August 7, 2024 • 17 mins
Netflix comedian Kernic Mobley shares her cheating love story. Psychopaths and synchophants but it's the high school boyfriend that got away.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If your high school boyfriend cheats on you, do you
stay mad at him forever? Yes, well, we're about to
find out. With our nice guys, just try.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
To keep up. We move around a lot in this.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Episode, Ryan Crow, I'm looking at you.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
I had my high school boyfriend three years and he
we dated each other freshman year, broke up. Sophomore year,
he dated someone else. I got really into God for
some reason, and then we got back together. I was
listened to God at this point, and then he cheated
on me with the chick he had dated before.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Canise Mobly, it is so great to have Hi.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But first I forgot to say hi everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm Kate Robarts and I'm Shotty Diaz and this is
just cheaters and backsabers.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And we are here today with one of our favorite
comedians and our friend Canise Mobley. Welcome, Hello for having me,
Thank you for being here. You're back from Netflix as
a joke.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Yes, I did my solo show Don't Kill Yourself Yet.
The Netflix is a joke.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Congratulations, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
It was fun. That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
My friends.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I used to live in La so a bunch of
my friends came and they were like, oh, it's comedy,
but also you talked about some real dark stuff in there,
and I'm like, yeah, that's the point.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I love that about solo shows. I know, hello darkness,
smile friend, darkness.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So comedians like a moth to a flan.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
You can't have the light without the dark, right.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
So spill some dark tea without the MAILK, please?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Do you want to start us off with a cheating
story or a backstriving story.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
And probably a cheating story, okay, because when you asked
me to do this, I was like, wait, but I
haven't cheated on anybody except for when I was in
high school. I had my high school boyfriend three years
and he we dated each other freshman year, broke up.
Sophomore year, he dated someone else. I got really into
God for some reason, and then we got back together.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I was listened to God at this point.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Uh. And then he cheated on me with the chick
he had dated before.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Except this is a simple breakup and get back together story,
is it?
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Every time I would be like I think we should
break up, he'd be like, I'm gonna kill myself. And
it was like this whole ongoing thing of manipulation and stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So given that this was many years ago, but not
that many because you're not that old, do you have
any insight as to what this was all about?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Have you guys ever heard of like the psychopath test,
like this easy question that is supposed to determine who
is a psychopath?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
But I've never heard of it.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So a lady goes to a funeral for a family member.
It's very sad. She's with a lot of her family members.
There's all these people that the person knew she's meeting people.
She meets this guy and she really hits it off
with him, but they end up not exchanging numbers before
he disappears. The next week, she kills her aunt. Why
(02:53):
Why does she kill her aunt?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Did they sleep together? The aunt A no, so you
should know the answer.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
No, I don't remember it, And it's fascinating to me
that your mind would answer.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I mean, come out, we're comics.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
You just got all the darkest. It's most obviously in
the world.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Duh.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
She killed her aunt because he was there, because he
was like new someone in the family.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Therefore, she'll get to see this guy again when he
comes to the funeral.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Duh.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I so that's even wor So what you're saying is
your high school boyfriend was a psychopath. What a meet cute,
But also I wonder if that has resulted in you
not having these longer term relationships.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Because I mean, yeah, because most of my high school
was devoted to a psychopath. Probably I now that I
think about it, Yes, because like he also like would
every time I would be like, I think we should
break up, he'd be like, I'm gonna kill myself. And
it was like this whole ongoing thing of manipulation and stuff,
and that oddly became part of it. So like there
was weird manipulation around there, and that might have something.
(03:56):
You're right, that might have something to do with the
fact that now I'm like three months I know whether
I want to do this long term.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
I'm out, Okay bye.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Like I did it for three years. Okay, I'm not
doing that again.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
If I can find someone who I don't like within
three months, think oh you're not a Like I don't
want children, but I do want someone who I would
be comfortable like being with me around kids, influencing them,
like I could be a great step mom.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
I'd be like, so good as a step mom.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I like that this has turned in now to like
a dating pitch for knetians.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, do you need a like step mom who's like,
I'm not gonna like I don't want to change diapers?
Is your kid over diaper age? I'm interested?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Okay, So moving on from dating cheating psychopaths to becoming
a step mom to perfect non diaper wearing children, what's next?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I only like to surround myself with sick of fans.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Know what that is.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It's a person. It is not a sex move, and
that is a person who just like they always adore you,
they always like love you, and I remember whenever I
looked at up, I was like, wait, why is this
a bad thing?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
They never challenge you, but they never call you on
your bullshit or expect something of you, like the way
that you should expect something of yourself. They'll never do
any of that accountable. What you're doing is great and
all the.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Time you don't. And I have, even from this story,
I've reminded that like having people who challenge you. Sometimes
because I wasn't challenged for so long, somebody says something,
I'm like, immediately want to start crying. Yeah, yeah, that's
a feeling where I'm like, I'm like or they don't
like me because they're not agreeing with me, and it's like, no,
they have They actually like me. They respect me enough
(05:34):
to know this is how they really feel, and I
can do whatever I want with it and they respect
my autonomy and that doesn't affect our it doesn't have
to affect our friendship. So I think this is such
a good lesson of, like, you know, being honest. Sometimes
people think they're just telling you what you want to hear.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
That's like a good friend.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No, yeah, yeah, Like I think you have that like
that quality, like you are the friend everybody needs.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
I will tell you about yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yes, yeah, yeah, same.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
And I like, yesterday I was talking with a friend
and we were because we've been friends for ten years now,
and I we were bringing up we were discussing something,
and I was like, yeah, I knew we were good. Well,
I knew we were tight because when you were like Canise,
you were being hella judgmental right now, And I was like,
you're correct, But.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
When does being judgmental about someone turn into backstabbing. I
had a situation with a friend recently who I'm like
whenever I'm in a negative mindset, I try to like
override it with like love light and positivity, love light
and positivity. And she was like, I think that person's ugly.
I think that their work puts me to sleep. It's boring.
And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't have
(06:41):
to like trash people. And she goes, this is what
I'm authentically feeling. I'm not always in this mood, but
if you want to see the real me and you
want to be my friend, sometimes yes, talk shit and
that is what it is. And I was like, thank
you for checking me, because I did grow up in
a very like you know, bless her heart, like put
a style on it back. It's gonna just gonna bless
(07:01):
your heart and let Jesus take care of it. And
it's like, no, that's not actually the nicest thing to do,
like be real with people. And so I had to say,
even if I disagree, go off. And I was like,
I think they're ugly too, but doing it right.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I want to show that you don't think it's good,
You'll no, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Okay. So I'm a really big believer that you should
be able to tell your friends the truth. That's the
way to go, as long as you're doing it to
their face and not behind their backs. But listeners, we
want you to be the judge of Canisa's next story.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
This chick.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
It was a chick who was part of our friend group,
and I slept with one of our mutual friends and
she was like, oh my god, that's the best thing ever.
You guys would be perfect together. Oh my gosh, I
can't wait for you guys to like get married. Like
she went, like to a thousand percent, right, it's supporting you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I do that.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, she was supporting it, but then my face very
much so, No, she was supporting it generally. And I
also when I'm just sleeping with someone and we're not
in a relationship, I'm like, if I tell.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
It to you, don't tell other people. It's business that
I'm sleeping.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
With this person.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Cluse lip, loose lips sink ships.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Baby, Yeah, don't know this is this is a private
thing until I have established what it is, established what
it is. Also know that this person can represent me
in public, because that's like a super important thing to me.
Exactly if I'm dating someone, what takes it from dating
to boyfriend?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
And girlfriend is that.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I don't feel like you're gonna embarrass me or in
front of my friends or say something completely out of
pocket like that. You know you have some sense of decorum.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
So yeah, you're trying to claim people, ye do.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
I'm not trying to claim people before I know what
I'm claiming.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah, I've never been like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I know you have to go straight into the heart,
but trus I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I'm like, yo, well no that's not your man. It
is you know.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I grew up in a super Christian environment and so
for me, I'm like the way that I would validate,
like maybe what you would say I'm not keeping those
marital vowels was like if I did, then I have
to at least think I could marry them and think
we can.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
So it's still you're like, in order to be like A,
I love you right away, you kiss me.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
We are we are getting married, and I need to
know your intention.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah I can't don't know like that. I don't think
like that.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It's just like, Okay, you got to get to know
the person for us like three three to six months,
I think that's I but maybe a year and you're like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I think the Lord put us together.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
The Lord did not put you together. I don't know
what you're talking about. Nothing to do with that, And honestly,
it's kind of fucked up that you'd put that on.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
It or her or don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah, we're Lord, it's a deity. It doesn't have genitals.
Is that being said? It didn't do that, so don't
blame it for that. But so, you know, how you
sleep with someone, Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
It didn't work out with me and this guy.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Huh.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
She was like I always knew he was terrible and
he's such a bad person.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Like the way that she switched so quickly, I was like,
I cannot trust this woman. I absolutely the way that
you you were before you were like have his babies
and truly like the next week you're like, I always
knew he's a bad person and there's something sinister in
the pit of his soul, Like you didn't mention that before.
You alway knew that. You always knew that when I
was like excited about sleeping.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, this just proves how protective you are over your life,
that you have such boundaries set up to protect yourself
from potentially harmful people, where it's like if she you
show me two different representations of what you're saying, it's
and it's incongruous, like you're out of my circle, like
you are not to be trust.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
She also did some other stuff, like what like tell
her business she there was a close friend of mine
and she knew that he liked her, and she did
this thing that I really hate, and like, now that
I'm in my thirties, people do it less, but it's
like almost like a dangling where it's like I'll thought
with you just enough, I'll spend time with you just
enough so that you continue to validate me, but I'll
(11:05):
never give you what I know that you want. I
know that you like me, I know that yeah, I taught,
And it's like you don't like him, You've done something already,
just like bread crumbs, but you're just bed crumbing this
person so that they can continue to give you positive reinforcement.
And I think that's fucked up because let him go,
let him find who he's supposed to be with, let
him do that.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I have a lot of friends who do that. And
what's even sicker to me is that they will convince
themselves that like if if, then that that person does
go free. They're like, but they were supposed to love me.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
And I'm like, you didn't want to. What are you
talking about that?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And they'll begrudge someone else who is like actually.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Interested in that person, and that is a little Yeah,
I really don't like that that sort of thing. I'm like,
that's selfish and it's mean to this person. If you
say that you care about this person, this person's supposed
to be one of your best friends. Wouldn't you have
their best interest at heart instead of just using them
as a prop for you to make you feel nice
about yourself.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
To me, that's fucked up. I really don't like that.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, did you say anything to her?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
She knows, she knows what she said.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, she if it was a it was a list
of shit that she did it.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Also, I'm like, just to play devil's advocate. I also
feel like sometimes it's like I have a lot of
friends who say this, you love him, I love him,
you hate him, I hate him, And I'm like, I
don't think black and white. I never hate someone hate.
It's too strong of an emotion. And I know love
and hate are two sides of the same sword. But
it's like I think that you can just like feel ambivalent,
(12:32):
like it's just not for me. I wish them well
and far away. Yeah, whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
But it took me a while, Like right now about
this person, this stuff that I'm talking about, these interpersonal
conflicts are truly eight years ago, and now I can
be like, I wish you well, But then I was
Back then, I was like, this bitch needs to be stopped.
And I'm so happy when I find out that somebody
else didn't like her ass because I never liked her.
I liked her for a period of time, but to
(12:57):
find out, actually she's full of shit.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, I admire that about you though, like because it
seems like very early on you were like I'm not
too sure because back in the day I used to
really really naive with friends and stuff. And I can
be like, no, we've been friends for a long time.
We're all friends, and we gotta stay friends. I don't
care if this person did this or it's like back
and forth feeling, you know, whatever they're feeling.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
But it's very appreciate your like sense of loyalty and
commitment to the friend group because I do not have
I'm not. Yeah, just because we were friends don't mean
we're gonna be friends and we act if you don't
act like a friend consistently.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, and we ain't friends. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And you know, I think the older you get, the
wiser you get, and you get to practice discernment a
little bit more and you're like, oh, this is not
feeling this person right now, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Yeah, Okay, we don't match. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, Yeah,
but we don't match. And good luck.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
And I hope that the stuff that you do that
that works out for you. Yeah, I hope that on
in a personal level, your strategies for living that are
harmful to others, I hope.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
So I hope it's okay.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, you know, I'm in a place right now.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Like back in that day, I used to be like, oh,
you know, which is like two weeks ago that day.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I used to be like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Last night, last month, that was like, oh, you know,
I wish you the best man. Now I'm like, I
wish you what you deserve.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Yeah, your actions will have consequences.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I'm not Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be like, yo,
I wish you the best, God bless you, whatever, not
just what you do, what you would say, what you yeah, yarma,
but you do will.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Come back to you. Yeah, Or it's not.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
You're not punished for your sins. You're punished by them.
And right here, let's go, okay, I think about that
all the time. You even understand that, So like, okay,
you do you do somebody dirty, that's we're calling it
a sin in this over the way that we're defining this.
You do someone dirty, You're not going to be paid
back for doing them dirty. The fact that you did
them dirty, the fact that you went out and showed
(14:54):
yourself to not be a trustworthy person, that is the
that will be the punishment. You will suffer the consequences.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Of that, Oh for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
It's not like some mythical person in the sky is
like I will smite you based on your actions, which
I am keeping an account.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Of in a list of everything you've thought.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
It's no, it's like, hey, if you do dirty shit,
you won't sneak like a egg.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
That's how's what happen.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
It's a circle of life.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Why would I just have a picture of you though,
like with a list of people like.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Scorpio, I will say, Okay, do something wrong, I'll remember it.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
I'm not going to bring it up to you. But
it's in the list.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
It's in the roll of decks. Roll deck's checking it
sometimes like one mark, two marks, like three?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Like how net marks do you have left?
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Yeah, the severity of the mark, but yeah, not it's
not infinite.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, why would I you.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Get infinite marks for what? Why did you birth me?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Like?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Even moms actually some people cut their moms out of
their lives and good for them.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I once made the mistake of a friend told me
and she's like, I don't speak to my mother. It
was you know, And I was like, you know, you should.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Always even at your mother.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Well, then I saw the extent of what happened, and
I was like, in theory, I have a lot of
things that in theory I'm like, that's not good. Yes,
but like and in theory we should always forgive people, yes,
but also but also sometimes doing wrong. Sometimes you have
to doing me.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Wrong and you're supposed to love me, like the state says,
you have to like take care of me and make
sure I don't ye by law.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Yeah, you're like me, you're legally like required.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, like it's I think forgiving people is really our
own internal thing. Yes, it's like it's kind of like closure,
like you don't need to meet with somebody, but like, hey,
this is.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
How I feel. No, it's like you know what I
forgive you?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah, goodbye forever I could be free.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I don't have to be.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Weighed down by your bullshit anymore, right, Yeah, yeah, that
can be so liberated.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Speaking of liberating, I think it's time to, like Anas
go back into these streets so she can go find
this imagine your boyfriend and make him a reality.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
What an amazing guess.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And with that, I am Kate Robart and I'm shotty Ds.
And this has been another episode of cheaters and Backstabbers
If your high school boyfriend cheats on you, do you
stay mad at him forever? Yes, well, we're about to
find out. With our nice guys, just try.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
To keep up. We move around a lot in this.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Episode, Ryan Crow, I'm looking at you.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
I had my high school boyfriend three years and he
we dated each other freshman year, broke up. Sophomore year,
he dated someone else. I got really into God for
some reason, and then we got back together. I was
listened to God at this point, and then he cheated
on me with the chick he had dated before.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Canise Mobly, it is so great to have Hi.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
But first I forgot to say hi everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm Kate Robarts and I'm Shotty Diaz and this is
just cheaters and backsabers.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And we are here today with one of our favorite
comedians and our friend Canise Mobley. Welcome, Hello for having me,
Thank you for being here. You're back from Netflix as
a joke.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Yes, I did my solo show Don't Kill Yourself Yet.
The Netflix is a joke.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Congratulations, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
It was fun. That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
My friends.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I used to live in La so a bunch of
my friends came and they were like, oh, it's comedy,
but also you talked about some real dark stuff in there,
and I'm like, yeah, that's the point.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I love that about solo shows. I know, hello darkness,
smile friend, darkness.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So comedians like a moth to a flan.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
You can't have the light without the dark, right.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
So spill some dark tea without the MAILK, please?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Do you want to start us off with a cheating
story or a backstriving story.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
And probably a cheating story, okay, because when you asked
me to do this, I was like, wait, but I
haven't cheated on anybody except for when I was in
high school. I had my high school boyfriend three years
and he we dated each other freshman year, broke up.
Sophomore year, he dated someone else. I got really into
God for some reason, and then we got back together.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
I was listened to God at this point.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Uh. And then he cheated on me with the chick
he had dated before.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Except this is a simple breakup and get back together story,
is it?
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Every time I would be like I think we should
break up, he'd be like, I'm gonna kill myself. And
it was like this whole ongoing thing of manipulation and stuff.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So given that this was many years ago, but not
that many because you're not that old, do you have
any insight as to what this was all about?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Have you guys ever heard of like the psychopath test,
like this easy question that is supposed to determine who
is a psychopath?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
But I've never heard of it.
Speaker 5 (02:29):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So a lady goes to a funeral for a family member.
It's very sad. She's with a lot of her family members.
There's all these people that the person knew she's meeting people.
She meets this guy and she really hits it off
with him, but they end up not exchanging numbers before
he disappears. The next week, she kills her aunt. Why
(02:53):
Why does she kill her aunt?
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Did they sleep together? The aunt A no, so you
should know the answer.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
No, I don't remember it, And it's fascinating to me
that your mind would answer.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I mean, come out, we're comics.
Speaker 5 (03:08):
You just got all the darkest. It's most obviously in
the world.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Duh.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
She killed her aunt because he was there, because he
was like new someone in the family.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Therefore, she'll get to see this guy again when he
comes to the funeral.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Duh.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
I so that's even wor So what you're saying is
your high school boyfriend was a psychopath. What a meet cute,
But also I wonder if that has resulted in you
not having these longer term relationships.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Because I mean, yeah, because most of my high school
was devoted to a psychopath. Probably I now that I
think about it, Yes, because like he also like would
every time I would be like, I think we should
break up, he'd be like, I'm gonna kill myself. And
it was like this whole ongoing thing of manipulation and stuff,
and that oddly became part of it. So like there
was weird manipulation around there, and that might have something.
(03:56):
You're right, that might have something to do with the
fact that now I'm like three months I know whether
I want to do this long term.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
I'm out, Okay bye.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Like I did it for three years. Okay, I'm not
doing that again.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
If I can find someone who I don't like within
three months, think oh you're not a Like I don't
want children, but I do want someone who I would
be comfortable like being with me around kids, influencing them,
like I could be a great step mom.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
I'd be like, so good as a step mom.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I like that this has turned in now to like
a dating pitch for knetians.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, do you need a like step mom who's like,
I'm not gonna like I don't want to change diapers?
Is your kid over diaper age? I'm interested?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Okay, So moving on from dating cheating psychopaths to becoming
a step mom to perfect non diaper wearing children, what's next?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I only like to surround myself with sick of fans.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Know what that is.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It's a person. It is not a sex move, and
that is a person who just like they always adore you,
they always like love you, and I remember whenever I
looked at up, I was like, wait, why is this
a bad thing?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
They never challenge you, but they never call you on
your bullshit or expect something of you, like the way
that you should expect something of yourself. They'll never do
any of that accountable. What you're doing is great and
all the.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Time you don't. And I have, even from this story,
I've reminded that like having people who challenge you. Sometimes
because I wasn't challenged for so long, somebody says something,
I'm like, immediately want to start crying. Yeah, yeah, that's
a feeling where I'm like, I'm like or they don't
like me because they're not agreeing with me, and it's like, no,
they have They actually like me. They respect me enough
(05:34):
to know this is how they really feel, and I
can do whatever I want with it and they respect
my autonomy and that doesn't affect our it doesn't have
to affect our friendship. So I think this is such
a good lesson of, like, you know, being honest. Sometimes
people think they're just telling you what you want to hear.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
That's like a good friend.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
No, yeah, yeah, Like I think you have that like
that quality, like you are the friend everybody needs.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
I will tell you about yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yes, yeah, yeah, same.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
And I like, yesterday I was talking with a friend
and we were because we've been friends for ten years now,
and I we were bringing up we were discussing something,
and I was like, yeah, I knew we were good. Well,
I knew we were tight because when you were like Canise,
you were being hella judgmental right now, And I was like,
you're correct, But.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
When does being judgmental about someone turn into backstabbing. I
had a situation with a friend recently who I'm like
whenever I'm in a negative mindset, I try to like
override it with like love light and positivity, love light
and positivity. And she was like, I think that person's ugly.
I think that their work puts me to sleep. It's boring.
And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't have
(06:41):
to like trash people. And she goes, this is what
I'm authentically feeling. I'm not always in this mood, but
if you want to see the real me and you
want to be my friend, sometimes yes, talk shit and
that is what it is. And I was like, thank
you for checking me, because I did grow up in
a very like you know, bless her heart, like put
a style on it back. It's gonna just gonna bless
(07:01):
your heart and let Jesus take care of it. And
it's like, no, that's not actually the nicest thing to do,
like be real with people. And so I had to say,
even if I disagree, go off. And I was like,
I think they're ugly too, but doing it right.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I want to show that you don't think it's good,
You'll no, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Okay. So I'm a really big believer that you should
be able to tell your friends the truth. That's the
way to go, as long as you're doing it to
their face and not behind their backs. But listeners, we
want you to be the judge of Canisa's next story.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
This chick.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
It was a chick who was part of our friend group,
and I slept with one of our mutual friends and
she was like, oh my god, that's the best thing ever.
You guys would be perfect together. Oh my gosh, I
can't wait for you guys to like get married. Like
she went, like to a thousand percent, right, it's supporting you.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
I do that.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
Yeah, she was supporting it, but then my face very
much so, No, she was supporting it generally. And I
also when I'm just sleeping with someone and we're not
in a relationship, I'm like, if I tell.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
It to you, don't tell other people. It's business that
I'm sleeping.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
With this person.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Cluse lip, loose lips sink ships.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Baby, Yeah, don't know this is this is a private
thing until I have established what it is, established what
it is. Also know that this person can represent me
in public, because that's like a super important thing to me.
Exactly if I'm dating someone, what takes it from dating
to boyfriend?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
And girlfriend is that.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I don't feel like you're gonna embarrass me or in
front of my friends or say something completely out of
pocket like that. You know you have some sense of decorum.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
So yeah, you're trying to claim people, ye do.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
I'm not trying to claim people before I know what
I'm claiming.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah, I've never been like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I know you have to go straight into the heart,
but trus I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I'm like, yo, well no that's not your man. It
is you know.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
I grew up in a super Christian environment and so
for me, I'm like the way that I would validate,
like maybe what you would say I'm not keeping those
marital vowels was like if I did, then I have
to at least think I could marry them and think
we can.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
So it's still you're like, in order to be like A,
I love you right away, you kiss me.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
We are we are getting married, and I need to
know your intention.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah I can't don't know like that. I don't think
like that.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
It's just like, Okay, you got to get to know
the person for us like three three to six months,
I think that's I but maybe a year and you're like, Okay.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
I think the Lord put us together.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
The Lord did not put you together. I don't know
what you're talking about. Nothing to do with that, And honestly,
it's kind of fucked up that you'd put that on.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
It or her or don't know.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Yeah, we're Lord, it's a deity. It doesn't have genitals.
Is that being said? It didn't do that, so don't
blame it for that. But so, you know, how you
sleep with someone, Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
It didn't work out with me and this guy.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Huh.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
She was like I always knew he was terrible and
he's such a bad person.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Like the way that she switched so quickly, I was like,
I cannot trust this woman. I absolutely the way that
you you were before you were like have his babies
and truly like the next week you're like, I always
knew he's a bad person and there's something sinister in
the pit of his soul, Like you didn't mention that before.
You alway knew that. You always knew that when I
was like excited about sleeping.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, this just proves how protective you are over your life,
that you have such boundaries set up to protect yourself
from potentially harmful people, where it's like if she you
show me two different representations of what you're saying, it's
and it's incongruous, like you're out of my circle, like
you are not to be trust.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
She also did some other stuff, like what like tell
her business she there was a close friend of mine
and she knew that he liked her, and she did
this thing that I really hate, and like, now that
I'm in my thirties, people do it less, but it's
like almost like a dangling where it's like I'll thought
with you just enough, I'll spend time with you just
enough so that you continue to validate me, but I'll
(11:05):
never give you what I know that you want. I
know that you like me, I know that yeah, I taught,
And it's like you don't like him, You've done something already,
just like bread crumbs, but you're just bed crumbing this
person so that they can continue to give you positive reinforcement.
And I think that's fucked up because let him go,
let him find who he's supposed to be with, let
him do that.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I have a lot of friends who do that. And
what's even sicker to me is that they will convince
themselves that like if if, then that that person does
go free. They're like, but they were supposed to love me.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
And I'm like, you didn't want to. What are you
talking about that?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
And they'll begrudge someone else who is like actually.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Interested in that person, and that is a little Yeah,
I really don't like that that sort of thing. I'm like,
that's selfish and it's mean to this person. If you
say that you care about this person, this person's supposed
to be one of your best friends. Wouldn't you have
their best interest at heart instead of just using them
as a prop for you to make you feel nice
about yourself.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
To me, that's fucked up. I really don't like that.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, did you say anything to her?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
She knows, she knows what she said.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, she if it was a it was a list
of shit that she did it.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Also, I'm like, just to play devil's advocate. I also
feel like sometimes it's like I have a lot of
friends who say this, you love him, I love him,
you hate him, I hate him, And I'm like, I
don't think black and white. I never hate someone hate.
It's too strong of an emotion. And I know love
and hate are two sides of the same sword. But
it's like I think that you can just like feel ambivalent,
(12:32):
like it's just not for me. I wish them well
and far away. Yeah, whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
But it took me a while, Like right now about
this person, this stuff that I'm talking about, these interpersonal
conflicts are truly eight years ago, and now I can
be like, I wish you well, But then I was
Back then, I was like, this bitch needs to be stopped.
And I'm so happy when I find out that somebody
else didn't like her ass because I never liked her.
I liked her for a period of time, but to
(12:57):
find out, actually she's full of shit.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, I admire that about you though, like because it
seems like very early on you were like I'm not
too sure because back in the day I used to
really really naive with friends and stuff. And I can
be like, no, we've been friends for a long time.
We're all friends, and we gotta stay friends. I don't
care if this person did this or it's like back
and forth feeling, you know, whatever they're feeling.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
But it's very appreciate your like sense of loyalty and
commitment to the friend group because I do not have
I'm not. Yeah, just because we were friends don't mean
we're gonna be friends and we act if you don't
act like a friend consistently.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, and we ain't friends. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And you know, I think the older you get, the
wiser you get, and you get to practice discernment a
little bit more and you're like, oh, this is not
feeling this person right now, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Yeah, Okay, we don't match. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, Yeah,
but we don't match. And good luck.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
And I hope that the stuff that you do that
that works out for you. Yeah, I hope that on
in a personal level, your strategies for living that are
harmful to others, I hope.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
So I hope it's okay.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, you know, I'm in a place right now.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Like back in that day, I used to be like, oh,
you know, which is like two weeks ago that day.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
I used to be like.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Last night, last month, that was like, oh, you know,
I wish you the best man. Now I'm like, I
wish you what you deserve.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Yeah, your actions will have consequences.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I'm not Yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be like, yo,
I wish you the best, God bless you, whatever, not
just what you do, what you would say, what you yeah, yarma,
but you do will.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Come back to you. Yeah, Or it's not.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
You're not punished for your sins. You're punished by them.
And right here, let's go, okay, I think about that
all the time. You even understand that, So like, okay,
you do you do somebody dirty, that's we're calling it
a sin in this over the way that we're defining this.
You do someone dirty, You're not going to be paid
back for doing them dirty. The fact that you did
them dirty, the fact that you went out and showed
(14:54):
yourself to not be a trustworthy person, that is the
that will be the punishment. You will suffer the consequences.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Of that, Oh for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
It's not like some mythical person in the sky is
like I will smite you based on your actions, which
I am keeping an account.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Of in a list of everything you've thought.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
It's no, it's like, hey, if you do dirty shit,
you won't sneak like a egg.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
That's how's what happen.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
It's a circle of life.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Why would I just have a picture of you though,
like with a list of people like.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
Scorpio, I will say, Okay, do something wrong, I'll remember it.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
I'm not going to bring it up to you. But
it's in the list.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
It's in the roll of decks. Roll deck's checking it
sometimes like one mark, two marks, like three?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Like how net marks do you have left?
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Yeah, the severity of the mark, but yeah, not it's
not infinite.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, why would I you.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Get infinite marks for what? Why did you birth me?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Like?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Even moms actually some people cut their moms out of
their lives and good for them.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I once made the mistake of a friend told me
and she's like, I don't speak to my mother. It
was you know, And I was like, you know, you should.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Always even at your mother.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Well, then I saw the extent of what happened, and
I was like, in theory, I have a lot of
things that in theory I'm like, that's not good. Yes,
but like and in theory we should always forgive people, yes,
but also but also sometimes doing wrong. Sometimes you have
to doing me.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Wrong and you're supposed to love me, like the state says,
you have to like take care of me and make
sure I don't ye by law.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Yeah, you're like me, you're legally like required.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, like it's I think forgiving people is really our
own internal thing. Yes, it's like it's kind of like closure,
like you don't need to meet with somebody, but like, hey,
this is.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
How I feel. No, it's like you know what I
forgive you?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah, goodbye forever I could be free.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I don't have to be.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Weighed down by your bullshit anymore, right, Yeah, yeah, that
can be so liberated.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Speaking of liberating, I think it's time to, like Anas
go back into these streets so she can go find
this imagine your boyfriend and make him a reality.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
What an amazing guess.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And with that, I am Kate Robart and I'm shotty Ds.
And this has been another episode of cheaters and Backstabbers
Hosts And Creators
Shari Diaz
Kate Robards
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