October 30, 2024 • 26 mins
Comedian Tawanda Gona shares his poignant story from his high school days involving a web of lies about losing his virginity. He reflects on the pressures of teenage life, the consequences of dishonesty, and the journey of personal growth that followed. Through laughter and introspection, Tawanda emphasizes the importance of owning one's mistakes and the lessons learned from humility and vulnerability.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We are back with a whole new episode, and this
week we're joined by comedian and our friend Tawanda Ghana.
He's going to share a deeply personal story about how
he lost it.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
What did he lose his grip on the truth?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's kind of important, especially if you're trying to have
relationships and his lag.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, he fumbled the bag big time.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Luckily, our man picked up the ball and got a
grip on the truth and it helped him find self respect,
It helped teach him valuable lessons, and it even helped
give him the strength to face a very difficult truth
head on. Our conversation is raw and real and maybe
(00:47):
even funny at times.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You are not going to want to miss this one.
Stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, so back Stavin, This might be one of the
worst things I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
So sorry, end of it.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
In high school, I told all my friends that I
lost my virginity to a girl, but that never happened.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
So you were alying backstabbing virgin yep.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, Hello listeners, We're back with a brand new episode
of Cheaters and Backstabbers. This week, our guest is the
very funny comedian Towanda gona welcome.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Yeah, I feel very welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And can you tell our listeners a little bit about you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
My name is Towanda, thirty five about to be thirty
six at the end of ox Overer Scorpio the comedian
Dey Draw.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
So you're just giving us the dating stats.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
No, I'm an aid and stats are completely different.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I would say, like, oh, I gotta read bell Hooks
and you know, like I go to love all about love,
the will to change. I listen to my therapists.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
So you're an emotional, educated, intellectual.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, all that stuff, you know, unemployed.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Artists.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah, exactly. It is the creative type.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Of real catch.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So you're what one of our other guests was talking about,
like the fun one who may not have the financial stability.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Oh yeah, it's just like a grown man child.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I guess you can just mold You can mold me
into something.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And so the way you said that, I feel like
women may have already tried, but we'll get to that later.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
I got to have that.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
So a little bit about how we like to do
this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
We can drop into one story or tell other stories,
but obviously the name of the game is cheaters. And backstabbers.
What are you here with to share with us today?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
All right? So I have never cheated, right.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
You want to let the record state that, Yeah, But
just because I.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Never cheated doesn't mean I've never been a bad person,
because there's other ways to be bad.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Stabbing.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, so backstabbing. This might be one of the worst
things I've ever done. So I started at the end
of it in high school. I told all my friends
that I lost my virginity to a girl.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
But that never happened.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
So you were a lying, backstabbing virgin yep.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Wow, yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Was the person who you were talking about in on
the ruse with you?
Speaker 4 (03:33):
No, it was all right.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
It was an oblivious victim.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
It wasn't oblivious.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
It wasn't we were like we and her were like,
all right, no, we were, we were we were.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Going to take us to the beginning, so you see beginning,
all right.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
So I had a friend I'm not going to say
any names, because everyone has like lives and real jobs
and stuff like that. Not you though, not me. Though
I could everything is you could google me. You could
see all my shit. But basically I had a friend
who was like, yo, gonn meet these girls out and
which is near Boston, So you go, that's near where
you grew because I grew up in Boston. So we
(04:06):
go meet these girls. One of them is like, you know,
real pretty, and my friend is talking to her like
they're dating, but he's kind of like being shitty to her.
He's cheating on her. So she is like, I got
to figure out what's going on with him. So she
starts talking to me more, and then me and her
start talking like all the time, and.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
Then I make him jealous. You think, Yeah, she wanted
to make him jealous.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
And he was not doing right by her.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
He wasn't doing right by her at all.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
And did you tell her that?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Yeah? I did, and she told him that. I told her.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I don't want to jump ahead in the story, weight
take us back. So when she first starts coming to you,
how do you feel about your friend?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Well, because he was telling me like, eh, it's like
it is what it is because this is high school.
We're like sixteen seventeen, and I'm just like, you know,
Virginie awkward, just like so just.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Like you are today.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Kid.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Oh yeah, basically like just Virginie awkward, just like full
of just like just full of anxiety and just like
fifteen sixteen. This is at the time. It sounds like
a genius place sounds pass off a pass off. Yeah,
And I'm like, oh, bro, this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So you guys have are scheduling plays and moves at
the other opposition team they know nothing about it.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
But then yeah, but then.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
On the other side of it, she's like, Okay, well
he's doing all this stuff, and to make him jealous,
we start like talking more and then it's all like
it gets real weird.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
And then this is a Shakespeare play.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah, pretty much. It's very shakespeareenced. And then she's like
we're talking like every day. We're talking every day till
like late at night. I see to a point where
like I'm on the phone with her. My dad's like
banging on the wall, like you'll go to sleep. Is
it a landline, No, it's my cell phone at the time.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
So, uh, we're.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Talking unlimited nights and weekends.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Yes, I had that plan exactly. I forget the name.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Of the sun Coom. I used to have sun Coom.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We used to have like what was an orange brand.
It was like it started with the sea. It's like
an orange brand.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
I have no idea, no Kia Nokia.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
No, it's at a Semen's phone, as I assignments Semens whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
So Semen and you were just full of com Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
There's a lot of a lot of themes here, right.
So anyway, we're talking all the time and we're getting closer,
and she's like, yo, we're both urgents.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
We should probably like loosen to each other. Wow. And
I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And this is like You're like, I think I just
got Semen on my Semen phone.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I was like, this is incredible. And so at the time, Ranji,
I'm like fifteen six in and it's your friends are going
like crazy, They're going crazy. But also not just that,
Like as a boy growing up in the early two thousands,
it was kind of like if you weren't a basketball player,
if you weren't my super fresh, if you got women
you had like cloud, people want to hang out with you.
(06:48):
But I so like, you want to get that do
you want to respect from your friends? It was less
about me lose my virginity and more about me being like, hey, guys,
I fit in high fives, Let's go to parties and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You just wanted to be accepted by your friends, not
even necessarily.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Yeah, it was literally a notch on your.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Belt exactly, like to be like, hey, guys, I'm wearing
It's like I.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Have a belt.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Now you're every girl's worst nightmare. By the way, exactly,
this is like, this is why mothers should lock their
teenage daughters up and not let them talk on the
phone to boys.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
This is why boys. Matter of fact, this is why boys.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You need to find out about You need to learn
about yourself early on. You got to learn what your
values are because at the time, it was just like
all we had was like rappers look up to and
drug dealers around the way. So it's like we have money,
you got women, and you were the man. But there's
other ways to be cool. So it's just like, so
mothers walk off your daughters, but fathers teach your sons.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Hey, there's other ways to be cool.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Wow, that's beautiful Exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I go to therapy, I read books now and shit
right right, So anyway, I'm telling my friends, like, yo,
it's going to happen this weekend. All my friends are like,
oh word, We're like we're all we hang out on
we hang out at this like we just hanging out
at the North Eastern uh Northeastern food court upstairs in
the lounge area. So I'm leaving the lounge area and
(08:08):
I'm like, hey, guys, this weekend it's going down. All
my friends are walking up to me shaking my hand.
I just got, I just got. I just became mayor.
I got congrats, congrats. I'm like, guest, I'll do my best.
I'll do my best before in the calendar. We've got
a calendar.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
It's great. I got a playlist in mind. I got
a playlist in mind.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
What was on the playlist?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Sis, look, give me a try? First song?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Can you give us a couple of lyrics? A couple
of lines? Can you sing us some?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I get?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
The notes are super high, but the first lines are
where do you go to meet my love baby?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It's you can't do a falsetto for us?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I get so anyway, so the day comes. That's also
perfect because my parents are just like out of town.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
What did your parents do?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
My mom was actually a nurse practitioner. My dad's a
biostatus session.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
It's a smart, super educated, super educated, and they must
trust you to go.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Out of town and leave a teenager alone.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah, So I'm like, I'm like, this is and sometimes
you're like sometimes in life you're just like, this is
a perfect moment. Everything is gonna everything is going my way.
But then sometimes you realize when things are too easy,
that's a bad sign. You didn't work for this because
I didn't know. I didn't know. So like she comes over,
(09:24):
go to my room, mind you there's no like four planning,
and we're just like, all right, we're gonna try.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
So we try, and she's like, actually, no, I'm good.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
What did you do? What was so bad?
Speaker 6 (09:34):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
She was just like like it was changed like the
last second. And I was like, oh, so I just
stopped because she said, no.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Love that that's a big one.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, I got any moment I can look good in this,
I will find it. Like so I stopped as as
I'm supposed to, and I just laid to my side
like a thousand miles stair, like through the wall.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And I heard her on the phone being like, yeah,
I just I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
To who like her friends she called him right after.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, And then so I'm sitting there like that and
say we end up like having we hang out the
night's fine. But then I go back to my computer
downstairs and my AOL, it's the messengers up.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
My way, message is up?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
What was your name?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
What was it at this time? All right? This is so,
this is way more embarrassing. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I used to love the brand Echo e c KO.
You see the rhino, the rhino. There's graffiti New York,
very New York. Yet and I don't know. I thought
the word syndicate was cool. A syndicate sounds like Echo syndicate,
but I couldn't get the But I think syndicate was
that was taking.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Side echo sin, which is weird. Echo Echo Sin sounds
like sinister. It sounds like some weird.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
It sounds like you're a Cankna would be a great
name for like a field profile Echo.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I always say Feld Field And for our listeners who
don't know what field is, eld is.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
It's a dating app where if you have a kink
you can meet somebody.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
But nowadays positive dating apps.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I was dating app, or if you're over thirty, it's
just a regular dating app.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Everyone's just like, Hey, I like kinks, but also my
kink is we can go get coffee and maybe get
a relationship and we could date forever.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Do you like that?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
And did you just describe your profile Unfeld?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Mine, My profile felt is just like, hey, uh, my
goal is to talk less, but I talk a lot.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Same.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
This is why we're friends, why we've talked at comedy shows. Yes,
an hour after the comedy show.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Has finished, exactly, just trauma dumping, like oh this thing happens.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Jumping, but we're both in therapy.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So oh yeah, exactly. So I go back to I
think she my parents come home, they see she's there,
We give her a ride to the train.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Your parents come home early.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, but my parents just like, oh, this girl's over
and they're just happy that, like, oh he's dating somebody,
he's bbab not doing anything.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
This s geek.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah. And then I come.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I look at my as the messenger and my way
messages up and I don't have I can't remember my
Way message was, but I see there's just like a
flock like you know that feeling when you had your
Way message up and you just like, who's going to
message me?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
I had like six messages.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Which is usually like great, even oh I'm popping, But
now it's just like this thing I said was going
to happen didn't happen, and I'm faced with a choice,
like what do I do? Because mind you, we didn't
have sex. We did like hook up. Sounds like all right,
well I didn't have sex, like we were in the bed.
We were in the bed, but we hooked up after fast.
(12:39):
We was like, all right, so we didn't have sex yet,
but we will. So if I just say we did now,
then in like a month or two, when we do,
it won't be a lie.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
So you were like wishful thinking.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You were prophesizing, you know, and like you a future
throwing us to the future.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, I'm ready to be a thing I heard back
in high school of like people who are like, we
get into college and then you stop trying. In high school,
you ever heard out people like, oh I got I
got a college exceptions letter, so I'm just gonna stop trying.
Then your GPA falls and then the college is actually
the rest They are like the last quarter of your
senior year and they reject you.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
Then I've never heard of that happen.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
It's happened a few times the IVY leagues.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
That happened sometimes, especially in my high school they would
do that a lot, so that's what I did. I
was like, word, I'm just gonna I'm good, so let
me just coast. I can lie now because it'd be
the truth in like a month.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Right, And you thought that it was not going to
be found out.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Nope, that's what I thought. Now it happens.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
So you tell your friends. There were six messages, and
the messages were basically.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Asking you one of my friends a big face smiley
emoji like all teeth, So.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You're not actually lying, but the implication was there. The
implication was there, but you didn't explicitly say no.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
And then I started, But then I started lying. Then
I started actively lying. And in high school was like
when you saw people, hey, you lost the virginity, it
becomes news like word gets out.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Oh yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
So now everyone's giving me high five. People are the congratulations.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Like it's like so different from a guy and a girl.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I know this is necessarily again mid two early two thousands,
like this is six Everyone's.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Like, oh my god, it's wanted congratulations. This is so.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
I sorry the mayor of pussy Ville.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I'm so I'm so proud of you, like really like
I have my doubts, but you're you're doing it.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
And my boy who.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Handed her off to me, he got upset because he
was like, wait, she had sex with him, and I mean, oh,
So then he was just like, all right, I got
to figure out how I can get back in there.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
So flash forward, so he became a backstabber.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Yeah, there's there's a lot of bad. There's a lot
of backstabbing.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
So fast forward to like the summer, and there's a
day that he wants to hang out with me and
her on the same day, and I kind of have
a sense was gonna happen. And then my other friend
gets involved, and I remember I was listening to so
I think forty the rapper Forty Col had a new mixtape.
I was a big forty Cal fan at the time.
He's in dipset, it's the whole thing. But I was
listening to his mixtape. My man, he sent me a
(15:21):
AOS messenger. He was like, Yo, we're talking to the girls.
She said I didn't have sex, so what's going on.
I didn't answer the message, and then I got a
phone call for frantic being like what the fuck did
you tell them? And I'm just like I started crying.
(15:42):
She's like you, and she goes off on me and
I'm just in tears the rest of the night, and
then to a tone, I went on out of MySpace.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Oh nothing too. She like before all this happened.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
She's coming over my crib from time to time, and
she made my minds faces look amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
She was amazing at MySpace.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
MySpace was like early coding.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
People who don't know this, like your friends who went
on to understand code, always knew how to make your
MySpace pretty.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
Oh yeah, she made my MySpace fantastic.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I had like a I had ill song, ill background,
had a glittering Michael Jackson on a moonwalk.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Okay, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It was great.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
She was creating gifts.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yeah, she had, she got it was all that.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And yeah, then I remember I checked MySpace the next
day and all that is gone.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
She'd gone in and just taken out. She erased her work,
erased all her work.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You will not get the glittering Michael Jackson. Yeah, I'm
taking this back.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And then tone all my MySpace and used to have
like MySpace like notes or whatever you like. And that's
where I first I was writing jokes. I write little
rants or whatever. So I went in and I confessed
to everything. I tagged all my friends, I tagged her,
I tagged people that kind of knew me.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
I was like, hey, look all this was a lie.
I did this.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Huh, coward, pussy, you admitted all of this, and people
are screenshotting it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
People are there's a screenshots at this time. It's also
like near the end of summer. It's like this is
like August or whatever. School starts in like a month.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
But you're getting it out of the way. And what
made you want to come clean? Because she was upset
because she was so upset or was against your character.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
It was to harb being upset then my character. Also,
I was like, RAI is really Catholic. So you're just like, oh,
guilt is you have guilt? You must have toned, you
must a tone like repent, repent, like what was that
movie the Dvini Code that Albino dude was like, whip
them stuff on the back, flag blogging yourself, like I
gotta I gotta hurt myself to grow.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You got to do six rosaries. You know our father
is hail Mary exactly.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
So I do all that because I was.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Just like, what's a beest. Yeah, latitudes, yeah, I do
all that. So I did all that amber.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
It just felt like, this is I feel so shitty
for having to admit all this.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
Well, mother Mayor, it was a virgin too, yeah exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
But then.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
On instant Messenger, she sent me one note she like
she unblocked me, and I was just like.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
To read it because someone probably told her. Did you
see to Wanda's note on my Space?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah? She wrote me. She's like, I saw your note,
thank you ah.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
And then I think and then she had sex with you?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
No.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, But it's funny because I feel like yet, I
feel like I feel like I was supposed to happen,
because like I remember the day after all that happened.
The next day, I woke up and like my beard connected.
So it was like, oh, this is how now you
are a man, my son.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Honesty is what brought you your manhood.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I remember I went to the barbershop and it was
just like like, I don't read it on my line up.
He's like, yo, look in the mirror. Bed got a beard,
And everyone said, oh man, you gotta you got a beard, bro,
And everything I wanted from lose my virginity I got
from having like patial hair, the idea of like being.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
You still have a great beard.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah they get that's part, that's part of it. But
uh yeah, so that happened. And then also what happened
was like I was like, this was such a low
moment for me. I was like I have to not
just to tell them, but when I go back to
go back to high school, i'd be a senior in
high school. I have to come back so much more
focused and better. I just hit like rock bottom at
(19:22):
the time. I got to be a better person. So
I just like pushed me to be the best person
on myself that I could be at that time, which
looking back, it's just like louder and more obnoxious. But
it was just like I started dressing better, I tried
to walk around more confident. I had this desire to
do comedy. I was like, now I'm gonna start going
to clubs and like try to go. I'm gonna try
to go to clubs and Boston Yea, I'm gonna try
to go. I'm gonna try to do stand up for
(19:44):
the first Like instead of having this be my whole story,
I'm gonna have being like a funny and being a
comedian be my story instead.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
So I came back and it was just like I
just had a different aura, guess uh yeah. And I
was like anything I can do to make this not
be my thing. I remember I come back seeing my
first day senior year. I come back. I got a
super fresh outfit that like, I got these sneakers. I
got these sneakers in Canada, these air Force ones that
(20:15):
were like super exclusives at the time. Air Force ones
were like you couldn't get the good pairs anywhere like
any summer before school started.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
It was the song that was it was like that
Nellie to see me recking in.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
My to to watch and get the stomping in my
air Force.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I had. I used to love that album too.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
That's taking it back. That's high school.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
That's really exactly. And so I got these shoes, I
got this outfit I'm wearing.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
It was Echo.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
No, I grown out, grown out Echo, I.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Had graduated from making Echo.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah. I had two polos on.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Both collars, clearly in different colors. That was very like.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Kanye Ye Kanye, because this is Kanye is like to
come out. I think late registration has dropped too. So
it's just like he's very very big goodes on. So
I come in super fresh boys like Wanda, I see
you all right, we're we're and then my boy Aaron
and the stony I'm going to say, Aaron, who was
(21:22):
like super fresh, super cool dude from like the South
with the newsland Boston.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
He dashd me.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
It's like, Gowanda, you a man, I saw that note
you but what happened? What He's just like you said,
I am a pussy. He starts, he starts laughing. I'm like,
hey man. All say is like, hey man, I lied,
but I owned it. And that's when I was like, oh,
like you can make mistakes and ship. If you own
(21:49):
a mistake, then like, yeah, people might not forget, people
might not forgive you, but if you own it, they
don't forget.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
They're not gonna know.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
They might not forget for sure, but if you own
your ship, then you're fine.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
That is such a beautiful lesson to learn so early on.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh yeah, so I remember that happened. And then like
I got parent. I used to work glass all the time.
I got a new pair of cool glasses that had
transition lenses.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
I don't know if those are cool at the time.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
All my friends like I thought it was the ship
because I thought it was.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
It was like the future.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Like the teachers are like, take off your glass, take
off your sung glasses.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
You're like, I can't because I need them.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
They yeah, I'm just saying because my mom wouldn't buy me.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I used to walk past like windows and ship, take
off my glasses, put them in the window.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
That was my whole swag.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, I feel like that was my new identity. But
something that I Okay, one thing I learned from Catholic
school that the teachers used to do this to us.
It was whoever lined up first, Like, you know, kids
would rush to be the front of the line if
you're going to lunch or something. They would say, and
Jesus said, those who are last shall be first, So
the first half code.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Oh God.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
But I would strategically, so I would like, strategically go.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
To the back of the line, knowing that like there's
a fifty to fifty chance I might get called to
the front. And I say this because there is something
in learning, like those who are first are always going
to be first. Those who are humble, you know, that's
the beatitudes thinking of the Catholicism, like those who are
like humble humility, facing a wrongdoing, confessing your sins. That
(23:25):
as a practice to learn so young and to be
able to say I messed up to me is so
important because I encounter grown ups now who will blatantly
mess up and it's like they're afraid to own it.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Got you gotta own it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
And the thing about owning it too is that once
you own it, a lot of people just forget about it.
Like I remember after that happened, I'm walking across sing
your year and it's like a bunch of girls at
the time just like liked me, like they liked like
one allegedly and I'm kidding one like one asked me
to One girl ask me to prom.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And I was so caught off because the thing is Alice.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I was in this weird face like Southlothing where I
was just like, ah, did this shitty thing? No one
could like, no one could like me for that, And
I think if you liked me, something was you were
joking with me or it's like, what's so wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Did you like me? That was my er.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
It was so tapped. So girls were asking me a
prom and I was just like are you are you serious?
Or like tho it want to go? Has a crush
on you? What are you talking about? No, she doesn't.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
And was the prom ask out like a joke? It
was like I was just kidding because I remember, did
you go to a problem with her?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Nah? Because I was That was the whole other thing.
And then I remember I went to prom and I
saw her and her date looked just like me.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
So how does that what happened bring us to who
you are today in your dating relationships? Like admitting that
wrong and being humiliated, being a liar, being a backstabber.
You didn't cheat physically, but you cheated on your trust
with that person and your trust with your friend's betrayal,
a very deep paturial How has that affected you as
(25:03):
an adult? Has it made you more likely to confess
or to come clean when something when you're dishonest, Well.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I try not to be dishonest with everything I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Thank you to Wanda for showing us that losing a
grip on reality isn't always bad when it can bring
you closer to the truth. It's not all doom and gloom.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Everyone.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
A big thank you to our friend for sharing this
story with such honesty and humor.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
And remember, folks, it's not always easy, but it's a
first step in self respect and growth.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
So if you enjoyed today's conversation, please be sure to subscribe, like,
tell a friend, share, follow us on Instagram, and remember,
stay safe out there, avoid liars, hold on to the truth,
avoid the cheaters and backstabbers, and if you run into them,
slide into our dms.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Because we want to hear all about it. We'll see
you next week.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
We are back with a whole new episode, and this
week we're joined by comedian and our friend Tawanda Ghana.
He's going to share a deeply personal story about how
he lost it.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
What did he lose his grip on the truth?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's kind of important, especially if you're trying to have
relationships and his lag.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yeah, he fumbled the bag big time.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Luckily, our man picked up the ball and got a
grip on the truth and it helped him find self respect,
It helped teach him valuable lessons, and it even helped
give him the strength to face a very difficult truth
head on. Our conversation is raw and real and maybe
(00:47):
even funny at times.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You are not going to want to miss this one.
Stay tuned.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, so back Stavin, This might be one of the
worst things I've ever done.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
So sorry, end of it.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
In high school, I told all my friends that I
lost my virginity to a girl, but that never happened.
Speaker 5 (01:10):
So you were alying backstabbing virgin yep.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, Hello listeners, We're back with a brand new episode
of Cheaters and Backstabbers. This week, our guest is the
very funny comedian Towanda gona welcome.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Yeah, I feel very welcome.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And can you tell our listeners a little bit about you.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
My name is Towanda, thirty five about to be thirty
six at the end of ox Overer Scorpio the comedian
Dey Draw.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
So you're just giving us the dating stats.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
No, I'm an aid and stats are completely different.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I would say, like, oh, I gotta read bell Hooks
and you know, like I go to love all about love,
the will to change. I listen to my therapists.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
So you're an emotional, educated, intellectual.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, all that stuff, you know, unemployed.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Artists.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Yeah, exactly. It is the creative type.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
Of real catch.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So you're what one of our other guests was talking about,
like the fun one who may not have the financial stability.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Oh yeah, it's just like a grown man child.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I guess you can just mold You can mold me
into something.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And so the way you said that, I feel like
women may have already tried, but we'll get to that later.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
I got to have that.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
So a little bit about how we like to do
this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
We can drop into one story or tell other stories,
but obviously the name of the game is cheaters. And backstabbers.
What are you here with to share with us today?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
All right? So I have never cheated, right.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
You want to let the record state that, Yeah, But
just because I.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Never cheated doesn't mean I've never been a bad person,
because there's other ways to be bad.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Stabbing.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, so backstabbing. This might be one of the worst
things I've ever done. So I started at the end
of it in high school. I told all my friends
that I lost my virginity to a girl.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
But that never happened.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
So you were a lying, backstabbing virgin yep.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Wow, yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Was the person who you were talking about in on
the ruse with you?
Speaker 4 (03:33):
No, it was all right.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
It was an oblivious victim.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
It wasn't oblivious.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
It wasn't we were like we and her were like,
all right, no, we were, we were we were.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Going to take us to the beginning, so you see beginning,
all right.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
So I had a friend I'm not going to say
any names, because everyone has like lives and real jobs
and stuff like that. Not you though, not me. Though
I could everything is you could google me. You could
see all my shit. But basically I had a friend
who was like, yo, gonn meet these girls out and
which is near Boston, So you go, that's near where
you grew because I grew up in Boston. So we
(04:06):
go meet these girls. One of them is like, you know,
real pretty, and my friend is talking to her like
they're dating, but he's kind of like being shitty to her.
He's cheating on her. So she is like, I got
to figure out what's going on with him. So she
starts talking to me more, and then me and her
start talking like all the time, and.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
Then I make him jealous. You think, Yeah, she wanted
to make him jealous.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
And he was not doing right by her.
Speaker 4 (04:32):
He wasn't doing right by her at all.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
And did you tell her that?
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Yeah? I did, and she told him that. I told her.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I don't want to jump ahead in the story, weight
take us back. So when she first starts coming to you,
how do you feel about your friend?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Well, because he was telling me like, eh, it's like
it is what it is because this is high school.
We're like sixteen seventeen, and I'm just like, you know,
Virginie awkward, just like so just.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Like you are today.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Kid.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Oh yeah, basically like just Virginie awkward, just like full
of just like just full of anxiety and just like
fifteen sixteen. This is at the time. It sounds like
a genius place sounds pass off a pass off. Yeah,
And I'm like, oh, bro, this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So you guys have are scheduling plays and moves at
the other opposition team they know nothing about it.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
But then yeah, but then.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
On the other side of it, she's like, Okay, well
he's doing all this stuff, and to make him jealous,
we start like talking more and then it's all like
it gets real weird.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
And then this is a Shakespeare play.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yeah, pretty much. It's very shakespeareenced. And then she's like
we're talking like every day. We're talking every day till
like late at night. I see to a point where
like I'm on the phone with her. My dad's like
banging on the wall, like you'll go to sleep. Is
it a landline, No, it's my cell phone at the time.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
So, uh, we're.
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Talking unlimited nights and weekends.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Yes, I had that plan exactly. I forget the name.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
Of the sun Coom. I used to have sun Coom.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
We used to have like what was an orange brand.
It was like it started with the sea. It's like
an orange brand.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
I have no idea, no Kia Nokia.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
No, it's at a Semen's phone, as I assignments Semens whatever.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
So Semen and you were just full of com Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
There's a lot of a lot of themes here, right.
So anyway, we're talking all the time and we're getting closer,
and she's like, yo, we're both urgents.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
We should probably like loosen to each other. Wow. And
I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And this is like You're like, I think I just
got Semen on my Semen phone.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I was like, this is incredible. And so at the time, Ranji,
I'm like fifteen six in and it's your friends are going
like crazy, They're going crazy. But also not just that,
Like as a boy growing up in the early two thousands,
it was kind of like if you weren't a basketball player,
if you weren't my super fresh, if you got women
you had like cloud, people want to hang out with you.
(06:48):
But I so like, you want to get that do
you want to respect from your friends? It was less
about me lose my virginity and more about me being like, hey, guys,
I fit in high fives, Let's go to parties and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You just wanted to be accepted by your friends, not
even necessarily.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Yeah, it was literally a notch on your.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Belt exactly, like to be like, hey, guys, I'm wearing
It's like I.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Have a belt.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Now you're every girl's worst nightmare. By the way, exactly,
this is like, this is why mothers should lock their
teenage daughters up and not let them talk on the
phone to boys.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
This is why boys. Matter of fact, this is why boys.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You need to find out about You need to learn
about yourself early on. You got to learn what your
values are because at the time, it was just like
all we had was like rappers look up to and
drug dealers around the way. So it's like we have money,
you got women, and you were the man. But there's
other ways to be cool. So it's just like, so
mothers walk off your daughters, but fathers teach your sons.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Hey, there's other ways to be cool.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Wow, that's beautiful Exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I go to therapy, I read books now and shit
right right, So anyway, I'm telling my friends, like, yo,
it's going to happen this weekend. All my friends are like,
oh word, We're like we're all we hang out on
we hang out at this like we just hanging out
at the North Eastern uh Northeastern food court upstairs in
the lounge area. So I'm leaving the lounge area and
(08:08):
I'm like, hey, guys, this weekend it's going down. All
my friends are walking up to me shaking my hand.
I just got, I just got. I just became mayor.
I got congrats, congrats. I'm like, guest, I'll do my best.
I'll do my best before in the calendar. We've got
a calendar.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
It's great. I got a playlist in mind. I got
a playlist in mind.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
What was on the playlist?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Sis, look, give me a try? First song?
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Can you give us a couple of lyrics? A couple
of lines? Can you sing us some?
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I get?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
The notes are super high, but the first lines are
where do you go to meet my love baby?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
It's you can't do a falsetto for us?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I get so anyway, so the day comes. That's also
perfect because my parents are just like out of town.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
What did your parents do?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:48):
My mom was actually a nurse practitioner. My dad's a
biostatus session.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
It's a smart, super educated, super educated, and they must
trust you to go.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Out of town and leave a teenager alone.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah, So I'm like, I'm like, this is and sometimes
you're like sometimes in life you're just like, this is
a perfect moment. Everything is gonna everything is going my way.
But then sometimes you realize when things are too easy,
that's a bad sign. You didn't work for this because
I didn't know. I didn't know. So like she comes over,
(09:24):
go to my room, mind you there's no like four planning,
and we're just like, all right, we're gonna try.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
So we try, and she's like, actually, no, I'm good.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
What did you do? What was so bad?
Speaker 6 (09:34):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
She was just like like it was changed like the
last second. And I was like, oh, so I just
stopped because she said, no.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Love that that's a big one.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, I got any moment I can look good in this,
I will find it. Like so I stopped as as
I'm supposed to, and I just laid to my side
like a thousand miles stair, like through the wall.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
And I heard her on the phone being like, yeah,
I just I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
To who like her friends she called him right after.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, And then so I'm sitting there like that and
say we end up like having we hang out the
night's fine. But then I go back to my computer
downstairs and my AOL, it's the messengers up.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
My way, message is up?
Speaker 5 (10:13):
What was your name?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
What was it at this time? All right? This is so,
this is way more embarrassing. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I used to love the brand Echo e c KO.
You see the rhino, the rhino. There's graffiti New York,
very New York. Yet and I don't know. I thought
the word syndicate was cool. A syndicate sounds like Echo syndicate,
but I couldn't get the But I think syndicate was
that was taking.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Side echo sin, which is weird. Echo Echo Sin sounds
like sinister. It sounds like some weird.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
It sounds like you're a Cankna would be a great
name for like a field profile Echo.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I always say Feld Field And for our listeners who
don't know what field is, eld is.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
It's a dating app where if you have a kink
you can meet somebody.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
But nowadays positive dating apps.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I was dating app, or if you're over thirty, it's
just a regular dating app.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Everyone's just like, Hey, I like kinks, but also my
kink is we can go get coffee and maybe get
a relationship and we could date forever.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Do you like that?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
And did you just describe your profile Unfeld?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Mine, My profile felt is just like, hey, uh, my
goal is to talk less, but I talk a lot.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Same.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
This is why we're friends, why we've talked at comedy shows. Yes,
an hour after the comedy show.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Has finished, exactly, just trauma dumping, like oh this thing happens.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Jumping, but we're both in therapy.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
So oh yeah, exactly. So I go back to I
think she my parents come home, they see she's there,
We give her a ride to the train.
Speaker 5 (11:50):
Your parents come home early.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, but my parents just like, oh, this girl's over
and they're just happy that, like, oh he's dating somebody,
he's bbab not doing anything.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
This s geek.
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah. And then I come.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I look at my as the messenger and my way
messages up and I don't have I can't remember my
Way message was, but I see there's just like a
flock like you know that feeling when you had your
Way message up and you just like, who's going to
message me?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
I had like six messages.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Which is usually like great, even oh I'm popping, But
now it's just like this thing I said was going
to happen didn't happen, and I'm faced with a choice,
like what do I do? Because mind you, we didn't
have sex. We did like hook up. Sounds like all right,
well I didn't have sex, like we were in the bed.
We were in the bed, but we hooked up after fast.
(12:39):
We was like, all right, so we didn't have sex yet,
but we will. So if I just say we did now,
then in like a month or two, when we do,
it won't be a lie.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
So you were like wishful thinking.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
You were prophesizing, you know, and like you a future
throwing us to the future.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Yeah, I'm ready to be a thing I heard back
in high school of like people who are like, we
get into college and then you stop trying. In high school,
you ever heard out people like, oh I got I
got a college exceptions letter, so I'm just gonna stop trying.
Then your GPA falls and then the college is actually
the rest They are like the last quarter of your
senior year and they reject you.
Speaker 5 (13:23):
Then I've never heard of that happen.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
It's happened a few times the IVY leagues.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
That happened sometimes, especially in my high school they would
do that a lot, so that's what I did. I
was like, word, I'm just gonna I'm good, so let
me just coast. I can lie now because it'd be
the truth in like a month.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Right, And you thought that it was not going to
be found out.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Nope, that's what I thought. Now it happens.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
So you tell your friends. There were six messages, and
the messages were basically.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Asking you one of my friends a big face smiley
emoji like all teeth, So.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
You're not actually lying, but the implication was there. The
implication was there, but you didn't explicitly say no.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
And then I started, But then I started lying. Then
I started actively lying. And in high school was like
when you saw people, hey, you lost the virginity, it
becomes news like word gets out.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
Oh yeah for sure.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
So now everyone's giving me high five. People are the congratulations.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Like it's like so different from a guy and a girl.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I know this is necessarily again mid two early two thousands,
like this is six Everyone's.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Like, oh my god, it's wanted congratulations. This is so.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
I sorry the mayor of pussy Ville.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
I'm so I'm so proud of you, like really like
I have my doubts, but you're you're doing it.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
And my boy who.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Handed her off to me, he got upset because he
was like, wait, she had sex with him, and I mean, oh,
So then he was just like, all right, I got
to figure out how I can get back in there.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
So flash forward, so he became a backstabber.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Yeah, there's there's a lot of bad. There's a lot
of backstabbing.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
So fast forward to like the summer, and there's a
day that he wants to hang out with me and
her on the same day, and I kind of have
a sense was gonna happen. And then my other friend
gets involved, and I remember I was listening to so
I think forty the rapper Forty Col had a new mixtape.
I was a big forty Cal fan at the time.
He's in dipset, it's the whole thing. But I was
listening to his mixtape. My man, he sent me a
(15:21):
AOS messenger. He was like, Yo, we're talking to the girls.
She said I didn't have sex, so what's going on.
I didn't answer the message, and then I got a
phone call for frantic being like what the fuck did
you tell them? And I'm just like I started crying.
(15:42):
She's like you, and she goes off on me and
I'm just in tears the rest of the night, and
then to a tone, I went on out of MySpace.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Oh nothing too. She like before all this happened.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
She's coming over my crib from time to time, and
she made my minds faces look amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
She was amazing at MySpace.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
MySpace was like early coding.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
People who don't know this, like your friends who went
on to understand code, always knew how to make your
MySpace pretty.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
Oh yeah, she made my MySpace fantastic.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I had like a I had ill song, ill background,
had a glittering Michael Jackson on a moonwalk.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Okay, that's amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
It was great.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
She was creating gifts.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yeah, she had, she got it was all that.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And yeah, then I remember I checked MySpace the next
day and all that is gone.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
She'd gone in and just taken out. She erased her work,
erased all her work.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
You will not get the glittering Michael Jackson. Yeah, I'm
taking this back.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
And then tone all my MySpace and used to have
like MySpace like notes or whatever you like. And that's
where I first I was writing jokes. I write little
rants or whatever. So I went in and I confessed
to everything. I tagged all my friends, I tagged her,
I tagged people that kind of knew me.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
I was like, hey, look all this was a lie.
I did this.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Huh, coward, pussy, you admitted all of this, and people
are screenshotting it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
People are there's a screenshots at this time. It's also
like near the end of summer. It's like this is
like August or whatever. School starts in like a month.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
But you're getting it out of the way. And what
made you want to come clean? Because she was upset
because she was so upset or was against your character.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
It was to harb being upset then my character. Also,
I was like, RAI is really Catholic. So you're just like, oh,
guilt is you have guilt? You must have toned, you
must a tone like repent, repent, like what was that
movie the Dvini Code that Albino dude was like, whip
them stuff on the back, flag blogging yourself, like I
gotta I gotta hurt myself to grow.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
You got to do six rosaries. You know our father
is hail Mary exactly.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
So I do all that because I was.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Just like, what's a beest. Yeah, latitudes, yeah, I do
all that. So I did all that amber.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
It just felt like, this is I feel so shitty
for having to admit all this.
Speaker 5 (17:59):
Well, mother Mayor, it was a virgin too, yeah exactly.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
But then.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
On instant Messenger, she sent me one note she like
she unblocked me, and I was just like.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
To read it because someone probably told her. Did you
see to Wanda's note on my Space?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah? She wrote me. She's like, I saw your note,
thank you ah.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
And then I think and then she had sex with you?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
No.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Yeah, But it's funny because I feel like yet, I
feel like I feel like I was supposed to happen,
because like I remember the day after all that happened.
The next day, I woke up and like my beard connected.
So it was like, oh, this is how now you
are a man, my son.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Honesty is what brought you your manhood.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I remember I went to the barbershop and it was
just like like, I don't read it on my line up.
He's like, yo, look in the mirror. Bed got a beard,
And everyone said, oh man, you gotta you got a beard, bro,
And everything I wanted from lose my virginity I got
from having like patial hair, the idea of like being.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
You still have a great beard.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Yeah they get that's part, that's part of it. But
uh yeah, so that happened. And then also what happened
was like I was like, this was such a low
moment for me. I was like I have to not
just to tell them, but when I go back to
go back to high school, i'd be a senior in
high school. I have to come back so much more
focused and better. I just hit like rock bottom at
(19:22):
the time. I got to be a better person. So
I just like pushed me to be the best person
on myself that I could be at that time, which
looking back, it's just like louder and more obnoxious. But
it was just like I started dressing better, I tried
to walk around more confident. I had this desire to
do comedy. I was like, now I'm gonna start going
to clubs and like try to go. I'm gonna try
to go to clubs and Boston Yea, I'm gonna try
to go. I'm gonna try to do stand up for
(19:44):
the first Like instead of having this be my whole story,
I'm gonna have being like a funny and being a
comedian be my story instead.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
So I came back and it was just like I
just had a different aura, guess uh yeah. And I
was like anything I can do to make this not
be my thing. I remember I come back seeing my
first day senior year. I come back. I got a
super fresh outfit that like, I got these sneakers. I
got these sneakers in Canada, these air Force ones that
(20:15):
were like super exclusives at the time. Air Force ones
were like you couldn't get the good pairs anywhere like
any summer before school started.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
It was the song that was it was like that
Nellie to see me recking in.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
My to to watch and get the stomping in my
air Force.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I had. I used to love that album too.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
That's taking it back. That's high school.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
That's really exactly. And so I got these shoes, I
got this outfit I'm wearing.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
It was Echo.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
No, I grown out, grown out Echo, I.
Speaker 5 (20:52):
Had graduated from making Echo.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Yeah. I had two polos on.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Both collars, clearly in different colors. That was very like.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Kanye Ye Kanye, because this is Kanye is like to
come out. I think late registration has dropped too. So
it's just like he's very very big goodes on. So
I come in super fresh boys like Wanda, I see
you all right, we're we're and then my boy Aaron
and the stony I'm going to say, Aaron, who was
(21:22):
like super fresh, super cool dude from like the South
with the newsland Boston.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
He dashd me.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
It's like, Gowanda, you a man, I saw that note
you but what happened? What He's just like you said,
I am a pussy. He starts, he starts laughing. I'm like,
hey man. All say is like, hey man, I lied,
but I owned it. And that's when I was like, oh,
like you can make mistakes and ship. If you own
(21:49):
a mistake, then like, yeah, people might not forget, people
might not forgive you, but if you own it, they
don't forget.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
They're not gonna know.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
They might not forget for sure, but if you own
your ship, then you're fine.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
That is such a beautiful lesson to learn so early on.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh yeah, so I remember that happened. And then like
I got parent. I used to work glass all the time.
I got a new pair of cool glasses that had
transition lenses.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
I don't know if those are cool at the time.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
All my friends like I thought it was the ship
because I thought it was.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
It was like the future.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Like the teachers are like, take off your glass, take
off your sung glasses.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
You're like, I can't because I need them.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
They yeah, I'm just saying because my mom wouldn't buy me.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I used to walk past like windows and ship, take
off my glasses, put them in the window.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
That was my whole swag.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, I feel like that was my new identity. But
something that I Okay, one thing I learned from Catholic
school that the teachers used to do this to us.
It was whoever lined up first, Like, you know, kids
would rush to be the front of the line if
you're going to lunch or something. They would say, and
Jesus said, those who are last shall be first, So
the first half code.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Oh God.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
But I would strategically, so I would like, strategically go.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
To the back of the line, knowing that like there's
a fifty to fifty chance I might get called to
the front. And I say this because there is something
in learning, like those who are first are always going
to be first. Those who are humble, you know, that's
the beatitudes thinking of the Catholicism, like those who are
like humble humility, facing a wrongdoing, confessing your sins. That
(23:25):
as a practice to learn so young and to be
able to say I messed up to me is so
important because I encounter grown ups now who will blatantly
mess up and it's like they're afraid to own it.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Got you gotta own it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
And the thing about owning it too is that once
you own it, a lot of people just forget about it.
Like I remember after that happened, I'm walking across sing
your year and it's like a bunch of girls at
the time just like liked me, like they liked like
one allegedly and I'm kidding one like one asked me
to One girl ask me to prom.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And I was so caught off because the thing is Alice.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I was in this weird face like Southlothing where I
was just like, ah, did this shitty thing? No one
could like, no one could like me for that, And
I think if you liked me, something was you were
joking with me or it's like, what's so wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Did you like me? That was my er.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
It was so tapped. So girls were asking me a
prom and I was just like are you are you serious?
Or like tho it want to go? Has a crush
on you? What are you talking about? No, she doesn't.
Speaker 5 (24:25):
And was the prom ask out like a joke? It
was like I was just kidding because I remember, did
you go to a problem with her?
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Nah? Because I was That was the whole other thing.
And then I remember I went to prom and I
saw her and her date looked just like me.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
So how does that what happened bring us to who
you are today in your dating relationships? Like admitting that
wrong and being humiliated, being a liar, being a backstabber.
You didn't cheat physically, but you cheated on your trust
with that person and your trust with your friend's betrayal,
a very deep paturial How has that affected you as
(25:03):
an adult? Has it made you more likely to confess
or to come clean when something when you're dishonest, Well.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I try not to be dishonest with everything I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Thank you to Wanda for showing us that losing a
grip on reality isn't always bad when it can bring
you closer to the truth. It's not all doom and gloom.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Everyone.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
A big thank you to our friend for sharing this
story with such honesty and humor.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
And remember, folks, it's not always easy, but it's a
first step in self respect and growth.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
So if you enjoyed today's conversation, please be sure to subscribe, like,
tell a friend, share, follow us on Instagram, and remember,
stay safe out there, avoid liars, hold on to the truth,
avoid the cheaters and backstabbers, and if you run into them,
slide into our dms.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Because we want to hear all about it. We'll see
you next week.
Hosts And Creators
Shari Diaz
Kate Robards
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