January 30, 2024 • 56 mins
Michelle and Kenny are covering all the bases! Kenny speaks on the importance of knowing yourself. He also shares the experience of having a child who is also a creative, fatherhood, marriage and the sacrifice it takes to make relationships work. CHECK IN to this episode for a master class on life!
For all things Kenny Lattimore, visit: https://www.kennylattimore.com/
Follow Kenny on social media: @kennylattimore
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Instagram: @MichelleWilliams
Twitter: @RealMichelleW
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Wait a minute, I'm not ready.
(00:20):
Wait a minute, Yes, I am ready. I am ready
for this conversation with my longtime buddy. Y'all, Kenny Lattimore
is coming up. We got to talk. We have got
to talk. He is so amazing, one of the most kind, sweet,
(00:41):
gentle souls, one of the most beautiful human beings you
will ever know. I can't wait for him to come
on this podcast. So please settle down, get you a
cup of coffee, your tea, whatever it is that you're doing. Please,
(01:01):
Kenny Lattimore is checking in. Oh gosh, how y'all doing.
Thank y'all for checking in on another beautiful episode of
Checking In with Michelle and I am so excited about
today's guest for checking in. A longtime buddy, just so pleasant,
(01:28):
so amazing, y'all. Let's just get right into who we
have today. I'm so excited about Grammy Soul Training, Stellar
Award nominated singer, songwriter, actor, husband and dad Kenny Latimore.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Hey, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
What, I would have guessed who you are just by
your laugh. I would have figured I would have figured
it out. How have you been?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I have been great. I have been working and evolving
and elevating, and it's been a lot of things, all
of them good, because all things work together for the
gooder than the love God. So I am watching and
trying to be as conscious of that as possible, to
(02:19):
understand that, WHOA, this doesn't always feel good, this doesn't
always look good and see good. But if I can
kind of, you know, just put in perspective and sometimes
just wait for things to align and for things to
shift and evolve, that the result is just different. So
that is how my year ended. I'd say I felt
(02:42):
it was. Twenty twenty three was this year of evolution,
and I learned so many things about me, business, and
just different parts of my life, so that in twenty
twenty four I can breathe a little differently going in
and be more even more authentic, even more purposeful. In
twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Y'ah, he didn't waste no time. We are having a conversation.
Wasted no time elevating and evolving. But yet you use
the word waiting and waiting, which we don't like to get.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
We don't like to wait. We want stuff right right, now,
and we think that not waiting is a measure of success,
that oh, this happens so much faster than me, that
now I'm more successful. I got there faster, And we
miss our own growth, and we miss that the nuggets
and things that we're supposed to get to sustain the success,
(03:42):
whatever that success may be. We miss that there are
foundational elements that allow us to be sustained.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So it's funny you should say that about getting there faster.
It reminds me of a conversation with civil rights leader
and preacher Jesse Jackson. We happened to be sitting on
a flight next to each other. I think we were
both headed to Las Vegas for the Stellar Awards. One
dice and he asked me about how would I rather
(04:15):
get there? And he asked me, had I ever considered
a train ride? I said, I said, I was tortured.
Not tortured, but me and my family. We took a
train ride to California so we can go to Disney.
Don't no child want to be on no train going
to Disney. We want to fly and head to Disney
right now. So what I'm saying is some I don't
(04:40):
know if we learned that from childhood and patient. We
want to get there now. But he said, exactly what
you're saying. You miss things along the way. You miss
how beautiful the planes are pl a I n s.
You miss how beautiful the mountains are. Going on a train,
(05:01):
you miss going through the little towns and stuff here
and there. And so I really appreciate you for talking
about waiting and ad meaning that we don't like to
no matter how successful you are, no matter if we're
feeling like, well, I'm in my forties now, I should
have more patience.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
No, you don't going to happen that way.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You want what you want, especially when you know you
can have it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
That's true, That's very true. So balancing all of that
becomes the key, which I used to say juggle. And
one day from Boris Kojo, who you know, we were
talking about something and he said, Kenny, you keep saying
that you're juggling. He said, don't juggle anymore. He said,
I want you to balance. And that's a very he's
a very smart man and very I don't I don't
know if it's I think he is a German background.
(05:50):
We think of German like precision, and you know accuracy.
So when he's talking, it's a it's a way that
he presents the information that's like, hmm, okay, you're absolutely right.
I had to just take that in for a minute,
and I said, I'm going to start saying to myself,
which is very important too. Sometimes you gotta talk to yourself, folks,
and you got to tell yourself what sounds need and encourages,
(06:13):
tell yourself what Yeah. So I started saying, I'm balancing
a lot more and but at the same time, what
I'm learning is to be unapologetically Kenny and think about
the things that make me work, that that make me tick,
so that I can communicate those things without guilt or anything.
(06:38):
It's like, Nope, actually this is who I am, or Nope,
I don't like that as much. I'm one of those
people who is like a servant leader, and being a
servant leader a lot of times, I like to see
other people happy. I like to see other people reach
their goals because I always feel like I'm gonna reach
my goal. I'm gonna do me, but I want to
(06:59):
see you reach your goal. And as a result, what
it does is I think it sometimes may lead people
to think that my personality is like, oh, he's a pushover.
He'll do whatever you want and he'll do whatever. So
then when Kenny gets to a point where he's like
hmm no, people are like what I've had people enraged?
(07:21):
What are you talking about? Like like they had to
convince me. I'm like, no, no, It's very seldom that
I say no. But when I say no, I mean no.
I had to be okay with that for me too,
isn't that is the worst powerful words that we could give.
I tell my kid when when I'm mentoring or speaking
(07:43):
and speaking engagement, I tell no. It's one of the
most powerful words like ever because it sets the boundary
that you're not, that you're present, You're not a non person,
You're present and when you're communicating with another person. As
a servant leader, try to look at all sides of life. Oh,
this is what you need, this is what I need,
(08:04):
this is what you know. But most personalities don't. The
same people who don't like waiting are the same people
who want what they want when they want the ore
the ones who think that they can control a servant leader,
And you have to stop to step back from that
because if a servant leader knows who they are. They
press paus on everything for a minute and balance, and
(08:28):
it's like, okay, let's get this right. Because I'm one
of those people. Also, I like to get it all done.
That may be unrealistic, but I'm one of those people
that's like, let's try to get it all done so
that everything is in place and all that, so that
that keeps me motivated in this in my mind works.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So when you say the organized mind, when you say
trying to get it all done, do you mean you
got to get it all done today or do you
like have incremental time?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Like incremental time get all done. But I can go
really hard, like I don't care if I get up
at noon, I probably run circles around people who get
up early in the morning. If I get up at noon,
I go hard and I start and I start go okay,
so what do we have to do today. We got
(09:16):
to clean house, we got to take out this, we
got to do that, we gotta get the cards and
wet and then my organized mind starts to work. Yeah yeah,
but again, these are things I know about me. It's
so important to know who you are so that when
you're in friendships, when you're in partnerships, when you're in marriage,
different kind of relationship. All of that that you appreciate
who you are because everybody may not appreciate who you are.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
That's so good. Not only do they not appreciate who
you are, We're going to go back to when you
were talking about when you actually say no, or when
you normally just laugh something off, but when you actually
decide to tell somebody how something they did made you feel. Yeah,
have you ever been made to feel like a monster,
(10:00):
like it's been switched around on you?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Oh? Absolutely, go ahead, I want you to say it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
My theme for the year for me is stop letting
people play in your face. Because of that reason, I'm
easy going. And it's not that I don't like confrontation.
It's like is it worth it?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah? I don't like confrontations.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I don't who really does.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I don't know who it is right right? I'm think
anybody does. But we're not afraid of confident nobody's we're not.
We're not afraid of competition.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We're not afraid of Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But you know what's really bad to see? I know
how bad I can be. The nice Kenny is nice
for a reason. I am and everybody in the industry
just about will tell you all, he's so nice, he's respectful.
But I'm one of those people that I know that
I could be something different. I know the thoughts that
come to this head, the thoughts that I have to kill,
(11:05):
like on a you know, consistently. Did they just say that, okay,
let me smile, let me bring them back to peace.
But the thought that came to mind was I'm getting
ready to say d you know. But again, that's knowing thyself,
being true to thine own self. But you're so right
that again, but giving yourself permission to say no. Depending
(11:27):
on your personality, may be a huge thing. There's some
people that are great already, who who thrive in understanding
who they are and understanding their position and articulating that.
But folks that like to see other people smile, which
is a lot of times, I think creatives, you know,
(11:48):
although we creators have a reputation of being divas too.
But there's some creatives who are like, no, the people
are here. My purpose and my job, this is how
I go at it. My purpose is to sing to
the hearts of women and the minds to men and
the minds of men to encourage them in love. That's
(12:10):
my purpose that I like my little mantra that I
put on my career. That's just my career, not my life,
but my career. So when I don't feel like singing,
I don't feel like getting up, I have to go
wait a minute. Got to live in purpose, Kenny. So
the hearts of women and the minds of men to
courage them in love. And I put that face back
on authentically, though I don't put it on faith. I
(12:33):
go back to give to them what I'm supposed to
give to them in that moment. And it can be
draining physically. It can be draining to give. Just like
if you have kids, or if you need to see
someone in the hospital or anything. You gotta just pull
yourself together for that moment. It's like that for some
of us creatives on a daily basis. We got when
(12:55):
we walk out the house. I know when you walk
out the house, there's a song that reminds me of
the song that it's a little different. It's a Jazzmine
Sullivan song. Yes, it's called scar yep. Well, even though
I don't have to put that scar on, but I
get it that that song is so dope because it
(13:17):
speaks to the life of an artist. So people that
are watching this when Michelle Williams has to go out
of house, out of the house, people aren't judging her
the same way as they're judging the average person, and
not judging Kenny Ladamo the way that they're judging the
average person. So sometimes you.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Got to put that mess gara on and something like
you can't go out there. You got that hair gotta
be shaved just right. That beard. We're expecting moisturialization on
the beard. We're expecting that smile and right, you know,
and because you know that, you know that could be pressure.
(13:50):
You're just trying to go get some blueberries and go
in and now right right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know what I got beat up for at the
beginning of my career was like I got this sweatshirt
or that. People used to be like, we have the suit,
wear the suit. It was like the suits. Oh, I
gotta wear a suit every day because in the video.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
At the suit on, well, can you contribute to all
my suits that I need to wear that on a
daily basis to please you? Okay? Can you imagine what
it takes to wear a suit every single day. Did
I hear you correctly when you mentioned not that this
has anything really to do with anybody? Did you say
(14:28):
divorce coach.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I'm not a divorced coach. I've been more a mentoring.
I've been doing speaking engagements and you're just my mentoring.
I go out and talk to you. However, I probably
could be maybe that maybe you speaking prophetically. No, I'm
gonna say this. I have some good knowledge. I have
(14:52):
some really good nuggets and knowledge in that space. I
really do. Uh So, nothing negative or shady at all
about that. Interesting that you that you say that because
I have some ideas as a matteric I was talking
to my wife about a format or a television show
(15:13):
or something that might help people. But we'll talk about
I want to.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Shout out to Lady Faith Jenkins love so much. We
thank y'all so much for sharing that part of your
life with us, the.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Wedding, the video, oh man.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
The pregnancy and how is that for you this time
around marriage and fatherhood.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I am such a more evolved person again, I love
using that wordy fall. Where I've learned to approach the
baby differently. I've learned where to use my energy because
she's a girl. She's a girl. Oh my gosh, I'm
wrapped around her little pinky toe. I mean, I see
(16:03):
that face, but then she sees my face too, and
I could be like turned to the side or something,
and then I turned around and we catch eye contact
and sheesus is like she just lights up and it
is like the best thing ever is the absolute best
thing ever?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh am g Now you have a son.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Who have a son who's amazing grown twenty years old.
He's in college now, in his junior year, which I'm
excited for him about. That's another one. As a parent,
that's another era I can talk about. I've learned that
a child still has their own journey. You have the
(16:41):
most influence over your child, but they still have their
own journey, and you have to walk with them through
their journey, even when you don't like their decisions or
you're not in agreement with everything. Well maybe they're not
in agreement with you. How about that. You know you
have an agenda that's like, oh, I want you to
do this, I want you to go to college, what
you do, but you have to listen to them to
(17:03):
figure out what's important for them because my son is
also another creative. Most creatives don't want to go to school.
They're like, I want to create. And one thing I
told my son is I said, well, the timing and
the waiting getting back to that, we don't know what
your weight is going to be. What are you going
to do in the meantime? You don't like my parents
(17:25):
used to tell me, you need to have a fallback.
I used to hate that. What I'm not falling back?
I hated those words. So I never told him that.
But what do you do in the meantime while we're
waiting for the manifestation of your career? And I would say, hey,
why don't you do business so that you understand all
aspects of how to sustain yourself and make money outside
(17:47):
of me, so that as a man you're able to
stand on your own two feet, have ideas, finance ideas,
all those kind of things. And he listened. It was
a push and pull for a while, it really was.
But as a junior now he's able to see the
purpose in it a lot more, and he's also carving
his own path where he's like, Okay, I understand this
(18:09):
is what I can use what I can't use because
a lot of times when you don't want to be
in school, your thought is, this has no benefit to me.
I'm taking these crazy classes that don't have anything to
do with real life. And I told them also, I said,
this is going to be part of your narrative. Though
when you walk into a room, everybody has a narrative
and they have a story and a legacy. It's the
same reason why in America history is rewritten, rewritten by
(18:35):
different races of people and different classes of people, because
it keeps getting passed down and it's either going to
encourage those that come behind you or it's going to discourage.
So a lot of times we want a narrative that
puts us in the best life. So just like we
do that in history, I was like, this is your history.
(18:57):
You'll be able to say yep. I went ahead and
I got my degree in this what it meant to me,
and it'll encourage other people to be well rounded. It's
not that college is for everybody, school is for everybody.
Learning is for everybody. But I tried to just the
other piece was, as a parent, my son needed to
leave California, I thought, and be on the other side
(19:20):
of the world because it would teach him how to
be an independent person. Wow, so you watch you observe
all these kinds of things. What does my child really need?
And you try to just equip them with all of
those things. And we know we're not going to be perfect.
No parent is. We can't control their lives as much
(19:40):
as we try to. And a lot of times we're
trying to control them based on our own insecurities and
our ideas of who we thought we were going to
be that maybe we didn't become. And it's so many
different hang ups that we have as parents sometimes when
we look at our offspring. I want them to have
more than I had, Well, that's your hand up. They
may not even want more than you. Oh I want
(20:03):
them to have this opportunity. Oh yeah, that's okay. But
make sure that they want that opportunity, because if they don't,
you're gonna waste all this time and they're gonna squander
that opportunity. They're gonna just throw it away. And so
you've got to be really careful to listen and not
be completely absorbed as self absorbed as a parent when
you're trying to send them off to do whatever they're gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Do, and ladies and gentlemen, this has been the life
masterclass Foby Kenny Lattimore. I haven't had to say a
word because I'm listening to you, learning myself and taking
so much in like you probably you probably could do
a cohort, some type of school, some type of coach,
(20:44):
and some marriage and relationship which you have so much
to offer. You have been investing in us for years.
When I say investing in us through your art, it's
an investment you giving. That's an investment. Thank you so
(21:08):
so much.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Well, I appreciate that comment because that is what I
have hoped as a servant artist and leader, is that
when people when I look back at my legacy and
I tell my narrative and they say, well, what do
you want you know, what do you want people to
say about you years from again, that it'll go back
to that I encourage people in love, whatever that meant.
(21:33):
Through every song, I thought about every song I was
going to sing, I thought about the lyric. I thought
about the power of my platform and how I would
present myself in front of these people so that they
would be encouraged. And that takes nothing away from those
who were just like, Nope, I'm an artist and I'm
just expressing myself. That's cool too. Yes, but I was
(21:55):
called I have to be I have to be accountable
for what I was called too. And it's not a
judge against anyone else. But I know that I appreciate
that comp That is probably that's one of the highest
compliments I could get in my artistry.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Absolutely, and I pray that the people we us as consumers,
we have to know that creators. It's an investment, and
to invest sometimes is a sacrifice to invest. Investments are risky. Yeah,
you don't know that, ROI I'm going to speak, that's right,
(22:33):
but you do it knowing that. Okay, this is a
long term, long term investment. Investment. Speaking of long term investment,
one of my favorite investments you made is your Christmas album. Oh.
I know we are past the holiday season, but this
(22:57):
Christmas album I listened to a year round.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
The two Christmas albums that I listened to year round
is your album and Handles Messiah Soulful.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Oh yeah, Quincy Jones, Oh yeah, you know what. Wow again,
what a great compliment on purpose. Aaron Lindsey and I
got together and we did that album for Motown Gospel.
All of those components were important. I wanted to do
a Christmas album, but I wanted to specifically make a
(23:34):
gospel project as well, and I wanted it to be
something that would live on past Christmas. It is and
you are.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
It's anointed. The song I cry, Holy, and I'm glad
that you let us in. I believe towards the end
you were having your own moment and y'all kept it
in the song. It's very faint, very.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But I knew what was going on, and thank you again.
I got to give credit to either.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Holy or we want to see you.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Actually, to be very honest, both of those somethings. I
had similar and Aaron helped me to to make sure
that it all remained authentic and it didn't get watered
down or like you mentioned, edited out because their moments.
And I'm going to say this not you know, not
(24:28):
because I think I'm so great, but I appreciate when
God does annoint something that it can live outside of
who created, you know, me being a part of the creation.
That I was getting ready for the Christmas tour because
I tour this every year, because I was like, if
Mariah Carey can be the Queen of Christmas? Why can't.
(24:51):
So I was rehearsing and I said, oh, man, I
have to go back and remember the lyrics and remember
everything after doing a lot of the R and B
stuf all year, and I stood there for a minute,
and I promise you a lot of times I have
to cry. I have to stop. I have to I'm
moved tears and I'm like, oh God, you know, this
is wow. This is what the Lord gave me, not
(25:15):
what I gave the world. That's not how I look at.
I said, this is what God gave me, and it
moves me because it was true moments of worship. Yeah.
And we started that tour off and I had the
best time. It's one of the best times for me creatively,
just saying hey, this exists. Because a lot of people
didn't know that it existed. So I was like, hey,
(25:38):
you know, here it is again. And maybe because it
was a gospel project mainly some of my R and
B crowd didn't know. So when I get to do
the Christmas too, I get to be all who Kennedy
is on stage. I don't get I don't have to
just be the sexy guy who and the love songs.
But I get to be the worshiper and all of
that and nobody judges it.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's so good.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I get to sing all these different genres and they go,
you know what, another great compliment, they say, It doesn't
sound like you're trying to be anything in particular. It
just it's happening in front of us. It's like we're
having a conversation, just like us having this conversation right now.
Sometimes we talk about life and love. Sometimes we talk
about worship and praise. We talk about an experience that
(26:24):
shaped us and changed us. So I like the show
to flow just like a conversation. And when you leave out,
you're like, man, he did some opera, he did some Yes,
he did some gospel, he did all this stuff. I
don't know how it fits, but it's because we're complex
as people.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And speaking of that, yes, y'all, he's got the classics
that we know for you never too busy. And when
I said I do, yes, but then he's got the
part of him like has he been classically trained? This
(26:59):
sounds like he's got technique.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Thank you. When I did All Holy Night, I wanted
it to sound like an Aria classical and it does.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It is absolutely beautiful. Now, I'm so glad that you
say that you haven't been judged, because then I guess
that takes away from me having to ask the question,
did you feel like you have to balance when you
sing for you but then go into a gospel number?
(27:30):
But then for you you could kind of be it
could be a duel who you're singing it too? Or
or who for God can be like for you? I'll
give yeah, yeah, okay, hell here you answered.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Oh no, I think it's a great question because I
come from the eighties, gos, the eighties and nineties. You know,
when we went church, you couldn't mix all that stuff up.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Okay, but how we swag surfing? By the way, I'm
saying that as a joke. By the way, that whole
swag surf video that was re hurt passa Murphy is
the homie. So don't y'all try it?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, but you know it's interesting, No, I can now
it's almost we're in a new generation of Christians, and
I'm saying Christians. You know it used to be we
knew what a you know you say Christian? This is
what that means? Or we're in it. Yeah, we know
how it looked or how it sounded or how. But
now we're in a time where I have to say
(28:33):
I'm a believer in Jesus Christ, his message, how he loved,
I'm a follower of him, and I'm trying to emulate
who he is. And then it takes out all of
the other stuff that people get confused by. So when
I say that I'm I'm a follower and emulator of
who Jesus Christ is, it allows me to say a
(28:53):
lot of things and sing a lot of things. The
one that used to be scared for me, like I
just had a number one song after twenty five years, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Take the doors, take a dose. I'm so sorry. Yes,
you're so right.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
No, no, but take a dose was the one that
I was like, Oh my god, how am I gonna
sing this? Because if a church, you know, I did,
and I did. The first venue that asked me to
do the Christmas tour was a church, and I went
in and I was going and then I realized, I said,
you know what, I have to make sure that people
(29:25):
understand what Christmas and love is as long as I
go out and I lead in it and I go, Okay,
I'm going to a church. I'm going wherever. This is
authentically who I am. I'm going to sing Christmas songs.
I'm going to sing love songs. As long as I
made it clear, I don't know. People just went with
me because that particular church that I went to drew
people that weren't from the church either. You know, It's
(29:46):
like a combination of people, so that I'm not just
singing to the church. I'm singing to people. And we
happened to be in a church, which I respect. But
I'm authentically me. So I did some luther come on
had the way I did, did a lot of things
that people knew, because just because they're in the church
doesn't mean that they don't know those songs. Of course,
a lot of songs these people already know. They lived
(30:09):
and yeah, and their lives have been shaped to all
these different sounds and music. So I just try to
make it make sense.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
How does it feel to know that for you? It's
probably in the top five wedding songs that is requested
or saying at a wedding as the bride or a
wedding party is walking down the aisle. One and how
many times have you been personally asked to sing this
(30:38):
song at people's wedding or reception for the first reception?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah. One. It is one of the greatest honors ever
because you're thinking about a time in someone's life that
they never forget. Whether they have a marriage that lasts
two years or fifty years, people will always go back
and they'll say, you know what, I dance to your
(31:03):
song or I what you know whatever to your song
and that moment. So it's a great honor that I
feel like I'm a part of their lives and again
that I've reached this purpose of encouraging them in love.
I can't even count the amount of times that I've
sung for you. But what I love about it is
that it's just like that Christmas album is the gift
that keeps on giving. It comes back, it like never
(31:25):
goes out of style. If somebody was five years old,
I say this all the time. If you were five
years old when for You came out, and now you're
thirty or what have you, and you're discovering real depth
and love and relationships. A lot of times they some
kind of way they picked up for you and it
becomes new all over again.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Tell the audience. I know you've said you you have
shared this many times when the song you know came out,
But did you know that it was gonna that we're
gonna be talking about this in twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You know what, It's really crazy. I give I've got
to give credit to the songwriter and the producer for you,
Kenny Lera, who was my buddy of mine from high school.
For You was literally his wedding song. So I love
that we authentically worked on that for his wife. We
didn't sit down and say, hey, let's come up with
a song so we can make some money, and you know,
(32:23):
you know, Luther had here and now maybe we can
have a wedding song. It just was his actual wedding
song that he wrote for his wife that was so
beautiful that I asked him if I could use on
and do it as a demo for Columbia Records. Barry
Eastman came in the super producer, and he gave it
such a timeless sound and a lovely sound and the
(32:46):
live strings, and he brought a lot of other arrangements
to it to enhance it, and that combination just worked perfectly.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Y'all. We are getting so many jewels from a folk soul,
R and B soul legend, Kenny Lattimore, Do you miss
the days when the majority of music was made like that?
You just named some abvaners.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yes, Lord, but you know what it can still be made,
and some of it is.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Being when we still say this with love because I
mean we were both Columbia Records artists, so we know
what it takes to what was required.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yes, oh my goodness, Oh we can have a whole conversation,
but okay, I'll say this quickly. I just did five
songs with an orchestra recently and just stepped outside and
thanks to some other friends who just wanted me. They
just wanted me to record that part because they had
heard me do some things live and they were like,
(33:50):
come on, let's go to Nashville and let's put a
string orchestra together and we die. So that'll come out
later on. But what I love is the musicality and
all still exists. It just exists in a smaller number
of people because we know that music and schools was
taken away. It was somewhere in the eighties. I think
(34:12):
that it was that.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Was taken away.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
It started started then, so we don't have the education
in music that we used to have as young people.
So as a result, the type of music changed with
hip hop. We knew that we sampled records, but that
was a part of hip hop culture, and it wasn't
because the people had didn't have skill. It was just
(34:33):
a new way of doing music because a lot of
those artists, the rappers, had skills and played instruments and
other things too back in our day. So now we
get to an age where it just had not been
cultivated in a way that those traditional sounds are easy
accessible nowadays. You know this. We we work with playback
(34:57):
and tracks and so much and stuff like that, so
much that I don't even know that there's a generation
that doesn't even know what real live music even sounds like. Listen,
because live music does not sound exactly like the record.
It just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, how dare those same people who voted to take
music out of schools were they were? I'm sure in
those music classes. Take me back to the day of
the xylophone. We had our balance and.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
A little recorder. Take me back. You have to learn
how to read it when.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
We could buy the recorder, or if not you had
to use one of the they I guess they cleaned them.
But take me back when we could buy the little yellow,
beige looking recorder or the dark.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
One, black one. Yeah, take me.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Back to y'all. Come on, take me back to the moroccas.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
And it came to somebody as a child that gave
you this confidence, Oh, I can do that. I didn't
know I could do that until I tried it in
a little group, and maybe I wasn't amazing, but it
made me feel like, oh, I could be a part
of a group. I could be a part of sharing
an experience with people, which is a whole different dynamic
(36:14):
that a lot of kids don't understand these days unless
you play sports.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Were you ever in band? Did you were in band
or anything? In middle school?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
I was in vocal. I was in core in the
chorus always, or chamber choir, concert choir, things like that.
And then very early, like when I was about fourteen
years old, was when I started recording and my mother
allowed me to perform with bands, like professional bands. And
I didn't think I was special, you know, thank God
(36:44):
for mama's Yes, mamas who think that you're special. But
my mother was an educator too, so she told me
to take voice lessons, and I was singing the American
song Book like I left my hard in San Francisco
up on I heal it called me stuff like that.
I was singing stuff like that at twelve, So by
(37:08):
the time I was fourteen, I had a little confidence.
So when these professional men, because they were twenty six
or thirty, came along and they were like, hey, sing something,
you know, I was able to give a little something
because I was definitely shy growing up. I don't know
if you that was a part of my evolution too.
I was deathly shy as a kid, but music gave
(37:29):
me a voice and a confidence that allowed me to
flourish and blossom as a person. It was so important
to my journey that I whether I thought I was
better than anybody, which I didn't. I thought everybody could sing,
but I did try to be the best that I
could be in the space. I was very critical of myself,
(37:51):
And yeah, I'd have to say that's in a short
form way, music saved my life. One of those kind
of things, you know, God allowed music to be a
part of saving my life and giving me a voice.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Wow, y'all, I feel like this interview, this conversation is
probably one of the top ever in going on the
four years that y'all have allowed checking in to be
on your podcast list. Wow, Kenny, you are just awesome.
(38:28):
I'm just super thankful for you, Thank you for coming
on here, just flowing and the comra. I could not wait.
I was talking to Nicole Spence, who is our talent booker,
and I was so excited and we gotta get Kenny
Latimer on. What have I been thinking? And I wanted
(38:49):
to just ask those of us who are navigating relationships,
and we're gonna get you to do a relationship course
you and you would and judgement, we come.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Back on, we come back on, and you know, talk
about it now?
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Is this too personal? When y'all get into a heated
fellowship or just a disagreement about how you gonna birth
the baby?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Okay, right right, which happens to everybody.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
She's a whole joy churkey. Who wins.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, if it's not a if it's not a real resolve,
nobody wins nobody.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And by the way, nobody wins when the family. That's
what the All Rider Prophet Sean Carter said, nobody wins. No,
But on a serious note that that was just a
joking question, like would I be intimidated being in a relationship?
What that's like? An attorney would like, they're gonna always
(39:57):
win every argument. They're always gonna be looking and prob
the words that I use that this is that. But
I'm sure she has a way of cutting that off
in relationship with you. But just advice on maintaining respect.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Let me tell you something. What we have to learn
is how to be a partner. Okay, if you are
on the same team and a partner with someone, there's
certain things that you have to go Wait a minute,
we don't have to agree on everything, but I have
to respect it up. Okay, you do that differently. Then
(40:36):
you look past the details and you try to get
to what you want the result to be. What is
it that we're really trying to do. We're trying to,
you know, walk a mile down the road. It's like, well, look,
I don't have to walk. I can just drive because
I have this car here. Well I have a wagon
over there, and I have the bike, and we're arguing
about which one to take. Then it's like, wait a minute,
when do we need to be at the end of
(40:57):
the road. Oh okay, we need to be at the
end of road by the end of the day. How
can we get there? Do we need to get there faster?
It doesn't matter what time we go. Oh, you know what,
let's just ride bikes down and look at the scenery.
You've got to make decisions in a creative way where
the team wins and your result is fulfilled as opposed
(41:19):
to it has to be my way. And that takes
work because when you have been an individual for years,
and I'm talking to those who may not be married
or have not been any serious relationships dating. If you've
been an individual for ten years, let's just say that
(41:39):
that's long enough for you to have your way of
doing things and you know it works because you've proven
it over and over and over again. One of the
most difficult things to do is to say, hey, I'm
going to try something different. I'm interesting. So you have
to as a partner in a relationship, you have to
(42:00):
die to self.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I was gonna say surrender.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Oh, surrender to the relationship, to the love of your relationship,
shut up yea and be a part and be like
we gonna win and that's where the work is. That
people don't want to, don't want to do, don't want
to do it. Most people don't want to do the
people all this hard work. It's only hard because most
people don't want to surrender and don't want to be
(42:29):
a servant. And when you're in a relationship, don't you know.
I used to listen to people always talk about so
when I get married, I want him to be or
I want her to be this, this, this, this is okay,
well what are you bringing? Who are you? What? What
are you bringing that is going to enhance? Uh, this,
this relationship and this this whole position of this other person.
(42:52):
I'm not saying that I've done any of this perfect
and did.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
You I told you to shut up, and I only
said shut up because you're right.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
And I'm not saying this because I mastered everything either.
I don't want people to think that.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
But but.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I'm living it. I'm living it through. The one thing
that I did before I decided to date seriously again,
was I learned who Kenny was. I said, who am I?
What are my core values? So that from a subconscious standpoint,
I would articulate that to my partner because a lot
(43:28):
of times we have so many hidden things inside of
us that are who we are that we just don't
even talk about, and then they come out in the
course of the marriage and they feel like surprises. Your
partner may feel like you sprung a surprise on It's like, no,
I've always been this, but you never talked about it.
So I did a list, and I said, who is Kenny.
(43:48):
What's important to Kenny?
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Family?
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Trust, honesty, integrity. The Lord's in there, you know, so
that you know, I don't want anybody talking about some
why is he reading his Bible? You know? Or why
is he They got to know all these little details
that make me who I am so that I can
articulate it and say, yep, all of this is who
I am. I am super neat, I am mega, mega neat.
(44:12):
I could roll this camera around this office and you
can see everything has a place because maybe I'm not
so good. I mean a lot of times you would think, oh,
he's neat because it's something great about him. Maybe I'm
not so great at balancing. So I have to have
it neat. I have to have it neat so that
when you go where is that paper such and such
(44:34):
and such and such. Oh, it's it's right here, because
if it's not in a place, I don't know where
it is. I'm just totally frustrated and I don't know
where stuff is. I'm like out there. So the way
I live my life, I had to say that if
you don't respect a person that's neat, then I'm gonna
get on your nerves because you're gonna be like, what
did he just clean up after me? He just I'm
(44:55):
the guy that does the dishes and cleans the house
and all of them, which is high the unusual, but
not highly unusual. What do you say, not typical of men?
So when what I give to my family is a
lot of things that are not typical. And it's because
I lived by myself for years. You had to.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Cook, you had to clean, you.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Had to be you know, I had to do all
of that, and then was married and there wasn't married
and lived about ten more years by myself where I
did those things, and you learn what works and you
try to bring the best characteristics of yourself to your relationship.
And I thought, well, that's gonna be really dope, because
(45:38):
if I don't have to look for stuff that saves
us time and energy, and it allows me to run
my production company, my tour company, it allows me to
run my real estate company, and to have a foundation.
That's just how I am. Some people can some people
can operate in I'm just gonna say it in a word,
it's negative. But in chaos, yep, some people can come
(46:01):
operate in chaos. I don't know. I just don't know how. Wow,
I just so these are things. So once I started
writing there this is who Kenny is, and who Kenny is,
woe Kenny, you and then you present that, then you
give somebody else the opportunity to say, you know what,
I don't want that. I don't think you don't waste time. Again.
It's like I think that I'm cool on all that
(46:22):
you know, and I like you. You're nice and we'll just
be friends.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yes, suh, Come on listen. You said something about about
how people can operate in chaos, but that would be
an additional thirty minutes. And I be respectful of people's time.
You have said so much checking in the foundation of
it is mental health, but you've said so much about
(46:49):
how a person can have great quality of mental health.
Giving yourself grace, continuing to evolve, elevate and wait, yes,
there's something beautiful in the way.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Yeah, it's something beautiful in that. And not being afraid.
I love not being afraid of counsel as well. We
call it therapy. Come on, counselor don't be afraid to talk,
because that is communicating is how you discover things. A
lot of times I think we are afraid to reveal
(47:26):
who we truly are. We're afraid if I just say this,
like it's gonna take over, like it's monster, it's gonna
take over, and I'm putting a label on myself and
it's gonna be Nope. Sometimes you need, excuse me, a
label with grace, maybe like you were mentioning the word
grace is really good, where you could say, hey, am
(47:49):
I OCD? Isn't that what they call it? OCD? It's like, okay,
I'm okay to go there, be okay, love yourself and
be okay with yourself enough to say, oh, okay, let's
really examine that. I don't have a problem having a conversation.
If somebody else thinks I'm that's see, let's examine it.
What makes a personal CD are if you're a psychologist,
(48:12):
see because a lot of times people throw words out
and stuff. They don't know what they're talking about. It's
narcissists and all kinds of I had to learn that
narcissism was a real thing, like a real diagnosis, not
that it was an insult A lot of times people
throw out insults, but that it was a real mental
diagnosis for people. And I was like, Wow, this person
(48:36):
doesn't have the capacity to balance and think along the
lines that we consider normal people to think because they
have a narcissistic personality. That was not the disorder. This
person has a personality disorder. H And it's helped me
not to attack people who I could have attacked some
(48:59):
people publicly, I could have attacked some people privately about
mental illness. That is so unfair when you begin to
understand that these people are really struggling. I might be
struggling with something in particular that falls into that family.
(49:20):
But my mother was a psychologist and my sister is
a psychologist, So I sometimes I say it's in my
psychologist and my DNAT. Although I didn't study it, but
if I think something, A lot of times I'll go
to my sister and I'll say, hey, is there something
about this, and I can lay out the details of
an event or something that's happened and she can say, yeah,
(49:42):
that falls under the category of X, Y and C.
So that when I approach the person, I approach with
love and respect. I don't try to diagnose, So don't start.
We're not suggesting that you go out and start labelling
people either and trying to be a psychologist and going, oh, well,
you have a personality disorder. Don't go tell them by
their personality.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
But isn't that something I've been guilty because going to
therapy now for years I have found myself and I
could be right, I'm a bootleg doctor anyway, I'd be like,
but you're so like, so I get you so much
in that area. But just letting people be on their
own journey and prayerfully they go get and again people
(50:24):
that listen to checking in, we are not diagnosing, we
are not treating. We are giving personal opinion and or experience.
So always please go to your doctor, your primary care,
your therapist, psychiatrist. So this is not intended to diagnose
any illness. By the way, just have we're having conversation.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Yes, just wanted to.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Say that clear that air but yeah, thank you for
talking about as as a man. You don't lose who
you are, your masculinity.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
We to go sit and unpack.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
So unpack. I love that, just.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
You know, unpack and you know, get some organization going
on with how you're feeling and even and also your
feelings do not invalidate you. Hey, I'm feeling weak or
I'm feeling overwhelmed, I don't feel appreciated, I don't feel valued, y'all.
That is so that is great language to have. And
even if you were to always walk away with the diagnosis,
(51:27):
treat it as data.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, that's all it is. It's just like when I
was going who is Kenny? These are the things I
say make me who I am? These are important things.
These are things that are challenges for me, because everybody
has challenges. Yes, sir, nobody arrives. That's the beauty of
this whole journey in your relationship. You will never arrive
(51:50):
at the perfect marriage, you will never arrive at the
perfect children, You'll never Everything is an individual journey, y'all.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Kenny Lattimore, he has given us so much more above
and beyond what I knew we were going to have
a great conversation, but he has poured and so we
thank you so much. We're excited about you kind of
teased about some music with an you know you with
an orchestra, So we're very excited about that. And y'all
(52:19):
continue to support him all of his music, continue to
play it, buy it downloaded, touring, Yes, go ahead and
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I still love to sing. You know. A lot of
times we look at those that have been in the
industry as long as we have, and some people get
discouraged about the business or whatever their experience is just
makes them feel like what am I doing? And I
do understand that I've had moments in my career that
were like that, because and that's another thing, careers are
(52:53):
not who you are. Careers are just at their jobs
and their their vehicles and tools that enhance our lives.
So a lot of times, with men in particular, people
say who are you, and we say what our career
is as opposed to you know, I'm a father, I'm
almost wonderful things you said about me in the beginning,
I'm a husband, I'm a hard worker. Whatever we go. Oh,
(53:13):
I'm a doctor. Well, no, that's one of the things
you do, but who are you? You know? And that's
we as men have not been socialized to articulate a
lot of those details and our feelings. And that was
one of the reasons why I had to sit and
go through my core values too, because I was like,
I've never done that before. So the more that you unpack,
(53:34):
like I said, you and begin to use words to
express it, the more you understand yourself and embrace I think,
who you are. That's so good.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
All right, y'all, he's gonna keep going. I gotta let
him go. He go, he go, keep going, And I'm
here for it, y'all. There's so much in this episode
you might have to go back and listen to it
and write it down some of the things that he
has shared. Kenny Lattimore obviously loves, loves, loves y'all so much,
(54:09):
and he took time to come and check in. He's
probably got to go check on his baby girl because
she's around there somewhere. So thank you. We'll talk again soon.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Thank you, all right?
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Thanks seen by p MG. What did I tell y'all?
He came on the show ready, ready to just pour
into us and just give us so much advice. This
episode is loaded. I want to know what your takeaways are.
(54:45):
Some of my takeaways have been patience and waiting, surrendering
in partnership and just to me. I also take that
into sometimes whatever partnership that is business wise personally. Oh y'all,
I'm just touched. I'm so full, and I'm so thankful
(55:08):
that he invested in us today. This just wasn't no
because I've got something that i have to I'm promoting something.
He just took some time out of his day to
check in with us. I'm so thankful for him. Continue
to support everything that he's got going on. I'm excited
and congratulations to him on his number one number one single.
(55:33):
This is amazing. His number one single is titled Take
a Dose. He was held by the New York Times
as a modern soul man, and I'm so glad that
we got a chance to just glean and literally it
was kind of like I was, as they say, just
sitting at his feet, listening to everything that he had
(55:54):
to say.
Speaker 3 (55:54):
So I hope fella enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio
and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows.
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Wait a minute, I'm not ready.
(00:20):
Wait a minute, Yes, I am ready. I am ready
for this conversation with my longtime buddy. Y'all, Kenny Lattimore
is coming up. We got to talk. We have got
to talk. He is so amazing, one of the most kind, sweet,
(00:41):
gentle souls, one of the most beautiful human beings you
will ever know. I can't wait for him to come
on this podcast. So please settle down, get you a
cup of coffee, your tea, whatever it is that you're doing. Please,
(01:01):
Kenny Lattimore is checking in. Oh gosh, how y'all doing.
Thank y'all for checking in on another beautiful episode of
Checking In with Michelle and I am so excited about
today's guest for checking in. A longtime buddy, just so pleasant,
(01:28):
so amazing, y'all. Let's just get right into who we
have today. I'm so excited about Grammy Soul Training, Stellar
Award nominated singer, songwriter, actor, husband and dad Kenny Latimore.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Hey, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
What, I would have guessed who you are just by
your laugh. I would have figured I would have figured
it out. How have you been?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I have been great. I have been working and evolving
and elevating, and it's been a lot of things, all
of them good, because all things work together for the
gooder than the love God. So I am watching and
trying to be as conscious of that as possible, to
(02:19):
understand that, WHOA, this doesn't always feel good, this doesn't
always look good and see good. But if I can
kind of, you know, just put in perspective and sometimes
just wait for things to align and for things to
shift and evolve, that the result is just different. So
that is how my year ended. I'd say I felt
(02:42):
it was. Twenty twenty three was this year of evolution,
and I learned so many things about me, business, and
just different parts of my life, so that in twenty
twenty four I can breathe a little differently going in
and be more even more authentic, even more purposeful. In
twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Y'ah, he didn't waste no time. We are having a conversation.
Wasted no time elevating and evolving. But yet you use
the word waiting and waiting, which we don't like to get.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
We don't like to wait. We want stuff right right, now,
and we think that not waiting is a measure of success,
that oh, this happens so much faster than me, that
now I'm more successful. I got there faster, And we
miss our own growth, and we miss that the nuggets
and things that we're supposed to get to sustain the success,
(03:42):
whatever that success may be. We miss that there are
foundational elements that allow us to be sustained.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
So it's funny you should say that about getting there faster.
It reminds me of a conversation with civil rights leader
and preacher Jesse Jackson. We happened to be sitting on
a flight next to each other. I think we were
both headed to Las Vegas for the Stellar Awards. One
dice and he asked me about how would I rather
(04:15):
get there? And he asked me, had I ever considered
a train ride? I said, I said, I was tortured.
Not tortured, but me and my family. We took a
train ride to California so we can go to Disney.
Don't no child want to be on no train going
to Disney. We want to fly and head to Disney
right now. So what I'm saying is some I don't
(04:40):
know if we learned that from childhood and patient. We
want to get there now. But he said, exactly what
you're saying. You miss things along the way. You miss
how beautiful the planes are pl a I n s.
You miss how beautiful the mountains are. Going on a train,
(05:01):
you miss going through the little towns and stuff here
and there. And so I really appreciate you for talking
about waiting and ad meaning that we don't like to
no matter how successful you are, no matter if we're
feeling like, well, I'm in my forties now, I should
have more patience.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
No, you don't going to happen that way.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You want what you want, especially when you know you
can have it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
That's true, That's very true. So balancing all of that
becomes the key, which I used to say juggle. And
one day from Boris Kojo, who you know, we were
talking about something and he said, Kenny, you keep saying
that you're juggling. He said, don't juggle anymore. He said,
I want you to balance. And that's a very he's
a very smart man and very I don't I don't
know if it's I think he is a German background.
(05:50):
We think of German like precision, and you know accuracy.
So when he's talking, it's a it's a way that
he presents the information that's like, hmm, okay, you're absolutely right.
I had to just take that in for a minute,
and I said, I'm going to start saying to myself,
which is very important too. Sometimes you gotta talk to yourself, folks,
and you got to tell yourself what sounds need and encourages,
(06:13):
tell yourself what Yeah. So I started saying, I'm balancing
a lot more and but at the same time, what
I'm learning is to be unapologetically Kenny and think about
the things that make me work, that that make me tick,
so that I can communicate those things without guilt or anything.
(06:38):
It's like, Nope, actually this is who I am, or Nope,
I don't like that as much. I'm one of those
people who is like a servant leader, and being a
servant leader a lot of times, I like to see
other people happy. I like to see other people reach
their goals because I always feel like I'm gonna reach
my goal. I'm gonna do me, but I want to
(06:59):
see you reach your goal. And as a result, what
it does is I think it sometimes may lead people
to think that my personality is like, oh, he's a pushover.
He'll do whatever you want and he'll do whatever. So
then when Kenny gets to a point where he's like
hmm no, people are like what I've had people enraged?
(07:21):
What are you talking about? Like like they had to
convince me. I'm like, no, no, It's very seldom that
I say no. But when I say no, I mean no.
I had to be okay with that for me too,
isn't that is the worst powerful words that we could give.
I tell my kid when when I'm mentoring or speaking
(07:43):
and speaking engagement, I tell no. It's one of the
most powerful words like ever because it sets the boundary
that you're not, that you're present, You're not a non person,
You're present and when you're communicating with another person. As
a servant leader, try to look at all sides of life. Oh,
this is what you need, this is what I need,
(08:04):
this is what you know. But most personalities don't. The
same people who don't like waiting are the same people
who want what they want when they want the ore
the ones who think that they can control a servant leader,
And you have to stop to step back from that
because if a servant leader knows who they are. They
press paus on everything for a minute and balance, and
(08:28):
it's like, okay, let's get this right. Because I'm one
of those people. Also, I like to get it all done.
That may be unrealistic, but I'm one of those people
that's like, let's try to get it all done so
that everything is in place and all that, so that
that keeps me motivated in this in my mind works.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So when you say the organized mind, when you say
trying to get it all done, do you mean you
got to get it all done today or do you
like have incremental time?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Like incremental time get all done. But I can go
really hard, like I don't care if I get up
at noon, I probably run circles around people who get
up early in the morning. If I get up at noon,
I go hard and I start and I start go okay,
so what do we have to do today. We got
(09:16):
to clean house, we got to take out this, we
got to do that, we gotta get the cards and
wet and then my organized mind starts to work. Yeah yeah,
but again, these are things I know about me. It's
so important to know who you are so that when
you're in friendships, when you're in partnerships, when you're in marriage,
different kind of relationship. All of that that you appreciate
who you are because everybody may not appreciate who you are.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
That's so good. Not only do they not appreciate who
you are, We're going to go back to when you
were talking about when you actually say no, or when
you normally just laugh something off, but when you actually
decide to tell somebody how something they did made you feel. Yeah,
have you ever been made to feel like a monster,
(10:00):
like it's been switched around on you?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Oh? Absolutely, go ahead, I want you to say it.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
My theme for the year for me is stop letting
people play in your face. Because of that reason, I'm
easy going. And it's not that I don't like confrontation.
It's like is it worth it?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah? I don't like confrontations.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I don't who really does.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I don't know who it is right right? I'm think
anybody does. But we're not afraid of confident nobody's we're not.
We're not afraid of competition.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We're not afraid of Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But you know what's really bad to see? I know
how bad I can be. The nice Kenny is nice
for a reason. I am and everybody in the industry
just about will tell you all, he's so nice, he's respectful.
But I'm one of those people that I know that
I could be something different. I know the thoughts that
come to this head, the thoughts that I have to kill,
(11:05):
like on a you know, consistently. Did they just say that, okay,
let me smile, let me bring them back to peace.
But the thought that came to mind was I'm getting
ready to say d you know. But again, that's knowing thyself,
being true to thine own self. But you're so right
that again, but giving yourself permission to say no. Depending
(11:27):
on your personality, may be a huge thing. There's some
people that are great already, who who thrive in understanding
who they are and understanding their position and articulating that.
But folks that like to see other people smile, which
is a lot of times, I think creatives, you know,
(11:48):
although we creators have a reputation of being divas too.
But there's some creatives who are like, no, the people
are here. My purpose and my job, this is how
I go at it. My purpose is to sing to
the hearts of women and the minds to men and
the minds of men to encourage them in love. That's
(12:10):
my purpose that I like my little mantra that I
put on my career. That's just my career, not my life,
but my career. So when I don't feel like singing,
I don't feel like getting up, I have to go
wait a minute. Got to live in purpose, Kenny. So
the hearts of women and the minds of men to
courage them in love. And I put that face back
on authentically, though I don't put it on faith. I
(12:33):
go back to give to them what I'm supposed to
give to them in that moment. And it can be
draining physically. It can be draining to give. Just like
if you have kids, or if you need to see
someone in the hospital or anything. You gotta just pull
yourself together for that moment. It's like that for some
of us creatives on a daily basis. We got when
(12:55):
we walk out the house. I know when you walk
out the house, there's a song that reminds me of
the song that it's a little different. It's a Jazzmine
Sullivan song. Yes, it's called scar yep. Well, even though
I don't have to put that scar on, but I
get it that that song is so dope because it
(13:17):
speaks to the life of an artist. So people that
are watching this when Michelle Williams has to go out
of house, out of the house, people aren't judging her
the same way as they're judging the average person, and
not judging Kenny Ladamo the way that they're judging the
average person. So sometimes you.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Got to put that mess gara on and something like
you can't go out there. You got that hair gotta
be shaved just right. That beard. We're expecting moisturialization on
the beard. We're expecting that smile and right, you know,
and because you know that, you know that could be pressure.
(13:50):
You're just trying to go get some blueberries and go
in and now right right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
You know what I got beat up for at the
beginning of my career was like I got this sweatshirt
or that. People used to be like, we have the suit,
wear the suit. It was like the suits. Oh, I
gotta wear a suit every day because in the video.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
At the suit on, well, can you contribute to all
my suits that I need to wear that on a
daily basis to please you? Okay? Can you imagine what
it takes to wear a suit every single day. Did
I hear you correctly when you mentioned not that this
has anything really to do with anybody? Did you say
(14:28):
divorce coach.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I'm not a divorced coach. I've been more a mentoring.
I've been doing speaking engagements and you're just my mentoring.
I go out and talk to you. However, I probably
could be maybe that maybe you speaking prophetically. No, I'm
gonna say this. I have some good knowledge. I have
(14:52):
some really good nuggets and knowledge in that space. I
really do. Uh So, nothing negative or shady at all
about that. Interesting that you that you say that because
I have some ideas as a matteric I was talking
to my wife about a format or a television show
(15:13):
or something that might help people. But we'll talk about
I want to.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Shout out to Lady Faith Jenkins love so much. We
thank y'all so much for sharing that part of your
life with us, the.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Wedding, the video, oh man.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
The pregnancy and how is that for you this time
around marriage and fatherhood.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I am such a more evolved person again, I love
using that wordy fall. Where I've learned to approach the
baby differently. I've learned where to use my energy because
she's a girl. She's a girl. Oh my gosh, I'm
wrapped around her little pinky toe. I mean, I see
(16:03):
that face, but then she sees my face too, and
I could be like turned to the side or something,
and then I turned around and we catch eye contact
and sheesus is like she just lights up and it
is like the best thing ever is the absolute best
thing ever?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh am g Now you have a son.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Who have a son who's amazing grown twenty years old.
He's in college now, in his junior year, which I'm
excited for him about. That's another one. As a parent,
that's another era I can talk about. I've learned that
a child still has their own journey. You have the
(16:41):
most influence over your child, but they still have their
own journey, and you have to walk with them through
their journey, even when you don't like their decisions or
you're not in agreement with everything. Well maybe they're not
in agreement with you. How about that. You know you
have an agenda that's like, oh, I want you to
do this, I want you to go to college, what
you do, but you have to listen to them to
(17:03):
figure out what's important for them because my son is
also another creative. Most creatives don't want to go to school.
They're like, I want to create. And one thing I
told my son is I said, well, the timing and
the waiting getting back to that, we don't know what
your weight is going to be. What are you going
to do in the meantime? You don't like my parents
(17:25):
used to tell me, you need to have a fallback.
I used to hate that. What I'm not falling back?
I hated those words. So I never told him that.
But what do you do in the meantime while we're
waiting for the manifestation of your career? And I would say, hey,
why don't you do business so that you understand all
aspects of how to sustain yourself and make money outside
(17:47):
of me, so that as a man you're able to
stand on your own two feet, have ideas, finance ideas,
all those kind of things. And he listened. It was
a push and pull for a while, it really was.
But as a junior now he's able to see the
purpose in it a lot more, and he's also carving
his own path where he's like, Okay, I understand this
(18:09):
is what I can use what I can't use because
a lot of times when you don't want to be
in school, your thought is, this has no benefit to me.
I'm taking these crazy classes that don't have anything to
do with real life. And I told them also, I said,
this is going to be part of your narrative. Though
when you walk into a room, everybody has a narrative
and they have a story and a legacy. It's the
same reason why in America history is rewritten, rewritten by
(18:35):
different races of people and different classes of people, because
it keeps getting passed down and it's either going to
encourage those that come behind you or it's going to discourage.
So a lot of times we want a narrative that
puts us in the best life. So just like we
do that in history, I was like, this is your history.
(18:57):
You'll be able to say yep. I went ahead and
I got my degree in this what it meant to me,
and it'll encourage other people to be well rounded. It's
not that college is for everybody, school is for everybody.
Learning is for everybody. But I tried to just the
other piece was, as a parent, my son needed to
leave California, I thought, and be on the other side
(19:20):
of the world because it would teach him how to
be an independent person. Wow, so you watch you observe
all these kinds of things. What does my child really need?
And you try to just equip them with all of
those things. And we know we're not going to be perfect.
No parent is. We can't control their lives as much
(19:40):
as we try to. And a lot of times we're
trying to control them based on our own insecurities and
our ideas of who we thought we were going to
be that maybe we didn't become. And it's so many
different hang ups that we have as parents sometimes when
we look at our offspring. I want them to have
more than I had, Well, that's your hand up. They
may not even want more than you. Oh I want
(20:03):
them to have this opportunity. Oh yeah, that's okay. But
make sure that they want that opportunity, because if they don't,
you're gonna waste all this time and they're gonna squander
that opportunity. They're gonna just throw it away. And so
you've got to be really careful to listen and not
be completely absorbed as self absorbed as a parent when
you're trying to send them off to do whatever they're gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Do, and ladies and gentlemen, this has been the life
masterclass Foby Kenny Lattimore. I haven't had to say a
word because I'm listening to you, learning myself and taking
so much in like you probably you probably could do
a cohort, some type of school, some type of coach,
(20:44):
and some marriage and relationship which you have so much
to offer. You have been investing in us for years.
When I say investing in us through your art, it's
an investment you giving. That's an investment. Thank you so
(21:08):
so much.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Well, I appreciate that comment because that is what I
have hoped as a servant artist and leader, is that
when people when I look back at my legacy and
I tell my narrative and they say, well, what do
you want you know, what do you want people to
say about you years from again, that it'll go back
to that I encourage people in love, whatever that meant.
(21:33):
Through every song, I thought about every song I was
going to sing, I thought about the lyric. I thought
about the power of my platform and how I would
present myself in front of these people so that they
would be encouraged. And that takes nothing away from those
who were just like, Nope, I'm an artist and I'm
just expressing myself. That's cool too. Yes, but I was
(21:55):
called I have to be I have to be accountable
for what I was called too. And it's not a
judge against anyone else. But I know that I appreciate
that comp That is probably that's one of the highest
compliments I could get in my artistry.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Absolutely, and I pray that the people we us as consumers,
we have to know that creators. It's an investment, and
to invest sometimes is a sacrifice to invest. Investments are risky. Yeah,
you don't know that, ROI I'm going to speak, that's right,
(22:33):
but you do it knowing that. Okay, this is a
long term, long term investment. Investment. Speaking of long term investment,
one of my favorite investments you made is your Christmas album. Oh.
I know we are past the holiday season, but this
(22:57):
Christmas album I listened to a year round.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
The two Christmas albums that I listened to year round
is your album and Handles Messiah Soulful.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Oh yeah, Quincy Jones, Oh yeah, you know what. Wow again,
what a great compliment on purpose. Aaron Lindsey and I
got together and we did that album for Motown Gospel.
All of those components were important. I wanted to do
a Christmas album, but I wanted to specifically make a
(23:34):
gospel project as well, and I wanted it to be
something that would live on past Christmas. It is and
you are.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
It's anointed. The song I cry, Holy, and I'm glad
that you let us in. I believe towards the end
you were having your own moment and y'all kept it
in the song. It's very faint, very.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But I knew what was going on, and thank you again.
I got to give credit to either.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Holy or we want to see you.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Actually, to be very honest, both of those somethings. I
had similar and Aaron helped me to to make sure
that it all remained authentic and it didn't get watered
down or like you mentioned, edited out because their moments.
And I'm going to say this not you know, not
(24:28):
because I think I'm so great, but I appreciate when
God does annoint something that it can live outside of
who created, you know, me being a part of the creation.
That I was getting ready for the Christmas tour because
I tour this every year, because I was like, if
Mariah Carey can be the Queen of Christmas? Why can't.
(24:51):
So I was rehearsing and I said, oh, man, I
have to go back and remember the lyrics and remember
everything after doing a lot of the R and B
stuf all year, and I stood there for a minute,
and I promise you a lot of times I have
to cry. I have to stop. I have to I'm
moved tears and I'm like, oh God, you know, this
is wow. This is what the Lord gave me, not
(25:15):
what I gave the world. That's not how I look at.
I said, this is what God gave me, and it
moves me because it was true moments of worship. Yeah.
And we started that tour off and I had the
best time. It's one of the best times for me creatively,
just saying hey, this exists. Because a lot of people
didn't know that it existed. So I was like, hey,
(25:38):
you know, here it is again. And maybe because it
was a gospel project mainly some of my R and
B crowd didn't know. So when I get to do
the Christmas too, I get to be all who Kennedy
is on stage. I don't get I don't have to
just be the sexy guy who and the love songs.
But I get to be the worshiper and all of
that and nobody judges it.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's so good.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I get to sing all these different genres and they go,
you know what, another great compliment, they say, It doesn't
sound like you're trying to be anything in particular. It
just it's happening in front of us. It's like we're
having a conversation, just like us having this conversation right now.
Sometimes we talk about life and love. Sometimes we talk
about worship and praise. We talk about an experience that
(26:24):
shaped us and changed us. So I like the show
to flow just like a conversation. And when you leave out,
you're like, man, he did some opera, he did some Yes,
he did some gospel, he did all this stuff. I
don't know how it fits, but it's because we're complex
as people.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And speaking of that, yes, y'all, he's got the classics
that we know for you never too busy. And when
I said I do, yes, but then he's got the
part of him like has he been classically trained? This
(26:59):
sounds like he's got technique.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Thank you. When I did All Holy Night, I wanted
it to sound like an Aria classical and it does.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
It is absolutely beautiful. Now, I'm so glad that you
say that you haven't been judged, because then I guess
that takes away from me having to ask the question,
did you feel like you have to balance when you
sing for you but then go into a gospel number?
(27:30):
But then for you you could kind of be it
could be a duel who you're singing it too? Or
or who for God can be like for you? I'll
give yeah, yeah, okay, hell here you answered.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Oh no, I think it's a great question because I
come from the eighties, gos, the eighties and nineties. You know,
when we went church, you couldn't mix all that stuff up.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Okay, but how we swag surfing? By the way, I'm
saying that as a joke. By the way, that whole
swag surf video that was re hurt passa Murphy is
the homie. So don't y'all try it?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, but you know it's interesting, No, I can now
it's almost we're in a new generation of Christians, and
I'm saying Christians. You know it used to be we
knew what a you know you say Christian? This is
what that means? Or we're in it. Yeah, we know
how it looked or how it sounded or how. But
now we're in a time where I have to say
(28:33):
I'm a believer in Jesus Christ, his message, how he loved,
I'm a follower of him, and I'm trying to emulate
who he is. And then it takes out all of
the other stuff that people get confused by. So when
I say that I'm I'm a follower and emulator of
who Jesus Christ is, it allows me to say a
(28:53):
lot of things and sing a lot of things. The
one that used to be scared for me, like I
just had a number one song after twenty five years, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Take the doors, take a dose. I'm so sorry. Yes,
you're so right.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
No, no, but take a dose was the one that
I was like, Oh my god, how am I gonna
sing this? Because if a church, you know, I did,
and I did. The first venue that asked me to
do the Christmas tour was a church, and I went
in and I was going and then I realized, I said,
you know what, I have to make sure that people
(29:25):
understand what Christmas and love is as long as I
go out and I lead in it and I go, Okay,
I'm going to a church. I'm going wherever. This is
authentically who I am. I'm going to sing Christmas songs.
I'm going to sing love songs. As long as I
made it clear, I don't know. People just went with
me because that particular church that I went to drew
people that weren't from the church either. You know, It's
(29:46):
like a combination of people, so that I'm not just
singing to the church. I'm singing to people. And we
happened to be in a church, which I respect. But
I'm authentically me. So I did some luther come on
had the way I did, did a lot of things
that people knew, because just because they're in the church
doesn't mean that they don't know those songs. Of course,
a lot of songs these people already know. They lived
(30:09):
and yeah, and their lives have been shaped to all
these different sounds and music. So I just try to
make it make sense.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
How does it feel to know that for you? It's
probably in the top five wedding songs that is requested
or saying at a wedding as the bride or a
wedding party is walking down the aisle. One and how
many times have you been personally asked to sing this
(30:38):
song at people's wedding or reception for the first reception?
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah. One. It is one of the greatest honors ever
because you're thinking about a time in someone's life that
they never forget. Whether they have a marriage that lasts
two years or fifty years, people will always go back
and they'll say, you know what, I dance to your
(31:03):
song or I what you know whatever to your song
and that moment. So it's a great honor that I
feel like I'm a part of their lives and again
that I've reached this purpose of encouraging them in love.
I can't even count the amount of times that I've
sung for you. But what I love about it is
that it's just like that Christmas album is the gift
that keeps on giving. It comes back, it like never
(31:25):
goes out of style. If somebody was five years old,
I say this all the time. If you were five
years old when for You came out, and now you're
thirty or what have you, and you're discovering real depth
and love and relationships. A lot of times they some
kind of way they picked up for you and it
becomes new all over again.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Tell the audience. I know you've said you you have
shared this many times when the song you know came out,
But did you know that it was gonna that we're
gonna be talking about this in twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You know what, It's really crazy. I give I've got
to give credit to the songwriter and the producer for you,
Kenny Lera, who was my buddy of mine from high school.
For You was literally his wedding song. So I love
that we authentically worked on that for his wife. We
didn't sit down and say, hey, let's come up with
a song so we can make some money, and you know,
(32:23):
you know, Luther had here and now maybe we can
have a wedding song. It just was his actual wedding
song that he wrote for his wife that was so
beautiful that I asked him if I could use on
and do it as a demo for Columbia Records. Barry
Eastman came in the super producer, and he gave it
such a timeless sound and a lovely sound and the
(32:46):
live strings, and he brought a lot of other arrangements
to it to enhance it, and that combination just worked perfectly.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Y'all. We are getting so many jewels from a folk soul,
R and B soul legend, Kenny Lattimore, Do you miss
the days when the majority of music was made like that?
You just named some abvaners.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Yes, Lord, but you know what it can still be made,
and some of it is.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Being when we still say this with love because I
mean we were both Columbia Records artists, so we know
what it takes to what was required.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yes, oh my goodness, Oh we can have a whole conversation,
but okay, I'll say this quickly. I just did five
songs with an orchestra recently and just stepped outside and
thanks to some other friends who just wanted me. They
just wanted me to record that part because they had
heard me do some things live and they were like,
(33:50):
come on, let's go to Nashville and let's put a
string orchestra together and we die. So that'll come out
later on. But what I love is the musicality and
all still exists. It just exists in a smaller number
of people because we know that music and schools was
taken away. It was somewhere in the eighties. I think
(34:12):
that it was that.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Was taken away.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
It started started then, so we don't have the education
in music that we used to have as young people.
So as a result, the type of music changed with
hip hop. We knew that we sampled records, but that
was a part of hip hop culture, and it wasn't
because the people had didn't have skill. It was just
(34:33):
a new way of doing music because a lot of
those artists, the rappers, had skills and played instruments and
other things too back in our day. So now we
get to an age where it just had not been
cultivated in a way that those traditional sounds are easy
accessible nowadays. You know this. We we work with playback
(34:57):
and tracks and so much and stuff like that, so
much that I don't even know that there's a generation
that doesn't even know what real live music even sounds like. Listen,
because live music does not sound exactly like the record.
It just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Yeah, how dare those same people who voted to take
music out of schools were they were? I'm sure in
those music classes. Take me back to the day of
the xylophone. We had our balance and.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
A little recorder. Take me back. You have to learn
how to read it when.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
We could buy the recorder, or if not you had
to use one of the they I guess they cleaned them.
But take me back when we could buy the little yellow,
beige looking recorder or the dark.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
One, black one. Yeah, take me.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Back to y'all. Come on, take me back to the moroccas.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
And it came to somebody as a child that gave
you this confidence, Oh, I can do that. I didn't
know I could do that until I tried it in
a little group, and maybe I wasn't amazing, but it
made me feel like, oh, I could be a part
of a group. I could be a part of sharing
an experience with people, which is a whole different dynamic
(36:14):
that a lot of kids don't understand these days unless
you play sports.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Were you ever in band? Did you were in band
or anything? In middle school?
Speaker 2 (36:23):
I was in vocal. I was in core in the
chorus always, or chamber choir, concert choir, things like that.
And then very early, like when I was about fourteen
years old, was when I started recording and my mother
allowed me to perform with bands, like professional bands. And
I didn't think I was special, you know, thank God
(36:44):
for mama's Yes, mamas who think that you're special. But
my mother was an educator too, so she told me
to take voice lessons, and I was singing the American
song Book like I left my hard in San Francisco
up on I heal it called me stuff like that.
I was singing stuff like that at twelve, So by
(37:08):
the time I was fourteen, I had a little confidence.
So when these professional men, because they were twenty six
or thirty, came along and they were like, hey, sing something,
you know, I was able to give a little something
because I was definitely shy growing up. I don't know
if you that was a part of my evolution too.
I was deathly shy as a kid, but music gave
(37:29):
me a voice and a confidence that allowed me to
flourish and blossom as a person. It was so important
to my journey that I whether I thought I was
better than anybody, which I didn't. I thought everybody could sing,
but I did try to be the best that I
could be in the space. I was very critical of myself,
(37:51):
And yeah, I'd have to say that's in a short
form way, music saved my life. One of those kind
of things, you know, God allowed music to be a
part of saving my life and giving me a voice.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Wow, y'all, I feel like this interview, this conversation is
probably one of the top ever in going on the
four years that y'all have allowed checking in to be
on your podcast list. Wow, Kenny, you are just awesome.
(38:28):
I'm just super thankful for you, Thank you for coming
on here, just flowing and the comra. I could not wait.
I was talking to Nicole Spence, who is our talent booker,
and I was so excited and we gotta get Kenny
Latimer on. What have I been thinking? And I wanted
(38:49):
to just ask those of us who are navigating relationships,
and we're gonna get you to do a relationship course
you and you would and judgement, we come.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Back on, we come back on, and you know, talk
about it now?
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Is this too personal? When y'all get into a heated
fellowship or just a disagreement about how you gonna birth
the baby?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Okay, right right, which happens to everybody.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
She's a whole joy churkey. Who wins.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, if it's not a if it's not a real resolve,
nobody wins nobody.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And by the way, nobody wins when the family. That's
what the All Rider Prophet Sean Carter said, nobody wins. No,
But on a serious note that that was just a
joking question, like would I be intimidated being in a relationship?
What that's like? An attorney would like, they're gonna always
(39:57):
win every argument. They're always gonna be looking and prob
the words that I use that this is that. But
I'm sure she has a way of cutting that off
in relationship with you. But just advice on maintaining respect.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Let me tell you something. What we have to learn
is how to be a partner. Okay, if you are
on the same team and a partner with someone, there's
certain things that you have to go Wait a minute,
we don't have to agree on everything, but I have
to respect it up. Okay, you do that differently. Then
(40:36):
you look past the details and you try to get
to what you want the result to be. What is
it that we're really trying to do. We're trying to,
you know, walk a mile down the road. It's like, well, look,
I don't have to walk. I can just drive because
I have this car here. Well I have a wagon
over there, and I have the bike, and we're arguing
about which one to take. Then it's like, wait a minute,
when do we need to be at the end of
(40:57):
the road. Oh okay, we need to be at the
end of road by the end of the day. How
can we get there? Do we need to get there faster?
It doesn't matter what time we go. Oh, you know what,
let's just ride bikes down and look at the scenery.
You've got to make decisions in a creative way where
the team wins and your result is fulfilled as opposed
(41:19):
to it has to be my way. And that takes
work because when you have been an individual for years,
and I'm talking to those who may not be married
or have not been any serious relationships dating. If you've
been an individual for ten years, let's just say that
(41:39):
that's long enough for you to have your way of
doing things and you know it works because you've proven
it over and over and over again. One of the
most difficult things to do is to say, hey, I'm
going to try something different. I'm interesting. So you have
to as a partner in a relationship, you have to
(42:00):
die to self.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
I was gonna say surrender.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Oh, surrender to the relationship, to the love of your relationship,
shut up yea and be a part and be like
we gonna win and that's where the work is. That
people don't want to, don't want to do, don't want
to do it. Most people don't want to do the
people all this hard work. It's only hard because most
people don't want to surrender and don't want to be
(42:29):
a servant. And when you're in a relationship, don't you know.
I used to listen to people always talk about so
when I get married, I want him to be or
I want her to be this, this, this, this is okay,
well what are you bringing? Who are you? What? What
are you bringing that is going to enhance? Uh, this,
this relationship and this this whole position of this other person.
(42:52):
I'm not saying that I've done any of this perfect
and did.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
You I told you to shut up, and I only
said shut up because you're right.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
And I'm not saying this because I mastered everything either.
I don't want people to think that.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
But but.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I'm living it. I'm living it through. The one thing
that I did before I decided to date seriously again,
was I learned who Kenny was. I said, who am I?
What are my core values? So that from a subconscious standpoint,
I would articulate that to my partner because a lot
(43:28):
of times we have so many hidden things inside of
us that are who we are that we just don't
even talk about, and then they come out in the
course of the marriage and they feel like surprises. Your
partner may feel like you sprung a surprise on It's like, no,
I've always been this, but you never talked about it.
So I did a list, and I said, who is Kenny.
(43:48):
What's important to Kenny?
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Family?
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Trust, honesty, integrity. The Lord's in there, you know, so
that you know, I don't want anybody talking about some
why is he reading his Bible? You know? Or why
is he They got to know all these little details
that make me who I am so that I can
articulate it and say, yep, all of this is who
I am. I am super neat, I am mega, mega neat.
(44:12):
I could roll this camera around this office and you
can see everything has a place because maybe I'm not
so good. I mean a lot of times you would think, oh,
he's neat because it's something great about him. Maybe I'm
not so great at balancing. So I have to have
it neat. I have to have it neat so that
when you go where is that paper such and such
(44:34):
and such and such. Oh, it's it's right here, because
if it's not in a place, I don't know where
it is. I'm just totally frustrated and I don't know
where stuff is. I'm like out there. So the way
I live my life, I had to say that if
you don't respect a person that's neat, then I'm gonna
get on your nerves because you're gonna be like, what
did he just clean up after me? He just I'm
(44:55):
the guy that does the dishes and cleans the house
and all of them, which is high the unusual, but
not highly unusual. What do you say, not typical of men?
So when what I give to my family is a
lot of things that are not typical. And it's because
I lived by myself for years. You had to.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Cook, you had to clean, you.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
Had to be you know, I had to do all
of that, and then was married and there wasn't married
and lived about ten more years by myself where I
did those things, and you learn what works and you
try to bring the best characteristics of yourself to your relationship.
And I thought, well, that's gonna be really dope, because
(45:38):
if I don't have to look for stuff that saves
us time and energy, and it allows me to run
my production company, my tour company, it allows me to
run my real estate company, and to have a foundation.
That's just how I am. Some people can some people
can operate in I'm just gonna say it in a word,
it's negative. But in chaos, yep, some people can come
(46:01):
operate in chaos. I don't know. I just don't know how. Wow,
I just so these are things. So once I started
writing there this is who Kenny is, and who Kenny is,
woe Kenny, you and then you present that, then you
give somebody else the opportunity to say, you know what,
I don't want that. I don't think you don't waste time. Again.
It's like I think that I'm cool on all that
(46:22):
you know, and I like you. You're nice and we'll just
be friends.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yes, suh, Come on listen. You said something about about
how people can operate in chaos, but that would be
an additional thirty minutes. And I be respectful of people's time.
You have said so much checking in the foundation of
it is mental health, but you've said so much about
(46:49):
how a person can have great quality of mental health.
Giving yourself grace, continuing to evolve, elevate and wait, yes,
there's something beautiful in the way.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Yeah, it's something beautiful in that. And not being afraid.
I love not being afraid of counsel as well. We
call it therapy. Come on, counselor don't be afraid to talk,
because that is communicating is how you discover things. A
lot of times I think we are afraid to reveal
(47:26):
who we truly are. We're afraid if I just say this,
like it's gonna take over, like it's monster, it's gonna
take over, and I'm putting a label on myself and
it's gonna be Nope. Sometimes you need, excuse me, a
label with grace, maybe like you were mentioning the word
grace is really good, where you could say, hey, am
(47:49):
I OCD? Isn't that what they call it? OCD? It's like, okay,
I'm okay to go there, be okay, love yourself and
be okay with yourself enough to say, oh, okay, let's
really examine that. I don't have a problem having a conversation.
If somebody else thinks I'm that's see, let's examine it.
What makes a personal CD are if you're a psychologist,
(48:12):
see because a lot of times people throw words out
and stuff. They don't know what they're talking about. It's
narcissists and all kinds of I had to learn that
narcissism was a real thing, like a real diagnosis, not
that it was an insult A lot of times people
throw out insults, but that it was a real mental
diagnosis for people. And I was like, Wow, this person
(48:36):
doesn't have the capacity to balance and think along the
lines that we consider normal people to think because they
have a narcissistic personality. That was not the disorder. This
person has a personality disorder. H And it's helped me
not to attack people who I could have attacked some
(48:59):
people publicly, I could have attacked some people privately about
mental illness. That is so unfair when you begin to
understand that these people are really struggling. I might be
struggling with something in particular that falls into that family.
(49:20):
But my mother was a psychologist and my sister is
a psychologist, So I sometimes I say it's in my
psychologist and my DNAT. Although I didn't study it, but
if I think something, A lot of times I'll go
to my sister and I'll say, hey, is there something
about this, and I can lay out the details of
an event or something that's happened and she can say, yeah,
(49:42):
that falls under the category of X, Y and C.
So that when I approach the person, I approach with
love and respect. I don't try to diagnose, So don't start.
We're not suggesting that you go out and start labelling
people either and trying to be a psychologist and going, oh, well,
you have a personality disorder. Don't go tell them by
their personality.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
But isn't that something I've been guilty because going to
therapy now for years I have found myself and I
could be right, I'm a bootleg doctor anyway, I'd be like,
but you're so like, so I get you so much
in that area. But just letting people be on their
own journey and prayerfully they go get and again people
(50:24):
that listen to checking in, we are not diagnosing, we
are not treating. We are giving personal opinion and or experience.
So always please go to your doctor, your primary care,
your therapist, psychiatrist. So this is not intended to diagnose
any illness. By the way, just have we're having conversation.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
Yes, just wanted to.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Say that clear that air but yeah, thank you for
talking about as as a man. You don't lose who
you are, your masculinity.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
We to go sit and unpack.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
So unpack. I love that, just.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
You know, unpack and you know, get some organization going
on with how you're feeling and even and also your
feelings do not invalidate you. Hey, I'm feeling weak or
I'm feeling overwhelmed, I don't feel appreciated, I don't feel valued, y'all.
That is so that is great language to have. And
even if you were to always walk away with the diagnosis,
(51:27):
treat it as data.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah, that's all it is. It's just like when I
was going who is Kenny? These are the things I
say make me who I am? These are important things.
These are things that are challenges for me, because everybody
has challenges. Yes, sir, nobody arrives. That's the beauty of
this whole journey in your relationship. You will never arrive
(51:50):
at the perfect marriage, you will never arrive at the
perfect children, You'll never Everything is an individual journey, y'all.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Kenny Lattimore, he has given us so much more above
and beyond what I knew we were going to have
a great conversation, but he has poured and so we
thank you so much. We're excited about you kind of
teased about some music with an you know you with
an orchestra, So we're very excited about that. And y'all
(52:19):
continue to support him all of his music, continue to
play it, buy it downloaded, touring, Yes, go ahead and
talk about it.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I still love to sing. You know. A lot of
times we look at those that have been in the
industry as long as we have, and some people get
discouraged about the business or whatever their experience is just
makes them feel like what am I doing? And I
do understand that I've had moments in my career that
were like that, because and that's another thing, careers are
(52:53):
not who you are. Careers are just at their jobs
and their their vehicles and tools that enhance our lives.
So a lot of times, with men in particular, people
say who are you, and we say what our career
is as opposed to you know, I'm a father, I'm
almost wonderful things you said about me in the beginning,
I'm a husband, I'm a hard worker. Whatever we go. Oh,
(53:13):
I'm a doctor. Well, no, that's one of the things
you do, but who are you? You know? And that's
we as men have not been socialized to articulate a
lot of those details and our feelings. And that was
one of the reasons why I had to sit and
go through my core values too, because I was like,
I've never done that before. So the more that you unpack,
(53:34):
like I said, you and begin to use words to
express it, the more you understand yourself and embrace I think,
who you are. That's so good.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
All right, y'all, he's gonna keep going. I gotta let
him go. He go, he go, keep going, And I'm
here for it, y'all. There's so much in this episode
you might have to go back and listen to it
and write it down some of the things that he
has shared. Kenny Lattimore obviously loves, loves, loves y'all so much,
(54:09):
and he took time to come and check in. He's
probably got to go check on his baby girl because
she's around there somewhere. So thank you. We'll talk again soon.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
Thank you, all right?
Speaker 1 (54:20):
Thanks seen by p MG. What did I tell y'all?
He came on the show ready, ready to just pour
into us and just give us so much advice. This
episode is loaded. I want to know what your takeaways are.
(54:45):
Some of my takeaways have been patience and waiting, surrendering
in partnership and just to me. I also take that
into sometimes whatever partnership that is business wise personally. Oh y'all,
I'm just touched. I'm so full, and I'm so thankful
(55:08):
that he invested in us today. This just wasn't no
because I've got something that i have to I'm promoting something.
He just took some time out of his day to
check in with us. I'm so thankful for him. Continue
to support everything that he's got going on. I'm excited
and congratulations to him on his number one number one single.
(55:33):
This is amazing. His number one single is titled Take
a Dose. He was held by the New York Times
as a modern soul man, and I'm so glad that
we got a chance to just glean and literally it
was kind of like I was, as they say, just
sitting at his feet, listening to everything that he had
(55:54):
to say.
Speaker 3 (55:54):
So I hope fella enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio
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