December 2, 2025 • 31 mins
In this episode, Michelle shares a powerful reminder: choosing yourself is not selfish — it’s necessary. Michelle also takes us behind the scenes of an unforgettable weekend in Washington, D.C. — from performing at the CityCenter Christmas Tree Lighting, to soaking in sisterhood at Kelly Rowland’s tour stop. Whether you’re navigating boundaries, loneliness, new beginnings, or simply trying to take better care of yourself, this episode will make you feel seen, encouraged, and loved.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey, there are you wondering
what was all the fuss in Washington, DC over the weekend.
We'll keep it liked on checking in with Michelle Williams,
(00:22):
and I'll tell you everything that happened.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hey, what's up? Do you remember the very first day
of December? Those are not the words, but it felt
right to me.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Wow, we are into the first week of December, and
I hope you feel good about it. I don't know.
This feels like a reset in a way. And I've
been trying to stay present, like in the current day,
and not think about tomorrow, the next day after that,
(01:02):
next week, next month, or even next year.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So this feels like a reset.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And I'm actually anticipating things to come in the new year.
And I hope that there's at least one good thing
that you're anticipating for the new year. Prayerfully, maybe you
just have something you're anticipating to happen for you tomorrow
or this week, or you need something to take place
for you before this month even ends. So my prayer
(01:31):
is that whatever you have been meditating on, whatever you've
been praying about whatever you have need of, that you
get some good news and that you get some motion.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
By the end of this month. It's been pretty cool.
It's been awesome. Chilla went and got my nails done.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
My nail broke, So when y'all see my nails, these
are my natural nails, and I have it's called builder jail,
and they put this builder jail on.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Top of it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
But baby, my pinky nail broke all the way down
to the Oh. Anyway, there are bigger problems in the world,
but I'm excited I got my nails done. I'm trying
to try new shapes or new colors, new French tip designs.
Some of y'all don't care nothing about that. But while
(02:25):
I'm saying that, because you know, wanting to do things
for myself, making choices that I probably wouldn't normally make,
you know, just having fun. Also, I've been wearing this
cute cranberry burgundie color on my hands and I was
(02:46):
telling someone that it's probably like, maybe not even my
fifth time wearing like red on my nails. And that's
probably because I grew up in church and for some reason,
the color of was associated with Jezebel. And then when
I finally got to a church where the pastor actually
(03:07):
broke down what Jezebel is and how Jezebel is actually
a spirit, and how Jezebel is not limited to a
color that you wear on your nails or lips, nor.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Is Jezebel a whore. Jezebel is not a woman.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
The Jezebel is the spirit of Jezebel, and female male
can have that spirit.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Okay. I didn't mean to go there and have.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Bible study, but I was like, you know, it's taking
me a minute to wear red fingernail polish and two
wearing red fingernail polish. When you grew up in a
pennelcolstal denomination or the Holiness church, you bout didn't wear
makeup some churches. Some of the women in churches that
(04:01):
are Pentecostal, Apostolic, even certain Baptist variations, you bout can
only wear chapstick. Okay, so for me to have on
red fingernail polish, But Michelle, you're saying bootylicious. You good,
you should have been more red fingernail polish. So I'm
(04:22):
gonna be wearing red a lot more I made a
post today regarding actually a topic that I briefly touched
on on last week's episode, about people pleasing, and I
am so glad that a few of you guys have
responded in the comments, and you've said some really, really
(04:47):
really encouraging things in the comments. So I'm getting I'm
learning to put myself first and choosing me or and
maybe not making certain decisions that betray me. What do
you mean by making decisions that betray you? When you
(05:10):
want to say no, but you say yes and you
find yourself doing this over and over and over again,
or you even find yourself doing this for a particular
person because of maybe how they show up and maybe
how they make you feel. I promise you it's the
(05:32):
first time for everything, and sometimes there is a first
for saying no. Sometimes it's going to be a first
for you putting yourself first, and before you know it,
it will become practice. I'm not saying be selfish, be rude,
be mean. I'm not saying to never show up for anyone.
(05:55):
I'm not saying to stop showing up. Doctor carry Bryant
said something today and she did like an Instagram live
and she or no, she wasn't live. She just I
think she just did a post and she said, if
they have no intentions, they should not get access. If
(06:17):
they don't, if they're not intentional about you in friendship, relationship,
in any relationship, they should not get access. Matter of fact,
you should be able to change the position in your
life that they have. I've also heard someone say, hey,
you there are some people who get a front row seat.
(06:38):
There are some people who are going to be, you know,
in the first balcony. Then the rest of y'all is nosebleeds. Okay,
So I'm going to continue to unpack this thing about
putting yourself first, people pleasing and how people pleasers are
some of the best performers. They're serving others, and yes
(07:03):
they're doing it with the smile, but maybe they've neglected
something that they were supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Now. I do believe.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
God honors when you serve others. I truly believe you
are always taking care of when you serve others. But
there are a lot of people who are You're burnt
out because you just said you've said yes one too
many times and helping someone and maybe there's a pattern.
(07:33):
It's y'all even if it's just taking yourself on a walk,
or you know, getting some sorbet and eating it, eating
it in the car before you go inside to your family,
or to just dysfunction or just stress and chaos. Or
maybe you're walking into a house of peace, into a
(07:55):
business of peace, your workplace or school, but you just
want to get that last sleek in on the ice
cream cone, do it?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Or you just want to listen.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
To the last chorus of your favorite song. Now, if
you're not gonna be late going into work or school,
listen to that last little chorus. Put yourself first. What
is it that you have desired to do for you?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
You know what I'm saying. You've been wanting to get
that health club membership. Put you first. You're gonna feel better.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Not only are you gonna look rip, but you're gonna
continue to feel great. So I just wanted to just
go there. Okay, the past few days have been absolutely wonderful.
And when you talk about putting yourself first, I did
just that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
This weekend.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
This past weekend, I sang at the Christmas tree lighting
in Washington, d C.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
At City Center.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It's this huge, huge, beautiful tree.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Hundreds of people came out. It was like thirty four
to Grease.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
They came out, and I sang some Christmas songs, maybe
six of them I never sang in my life, and
I was like, yo, I think I want to do
a Christmas album.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
This was a vibe.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I did it with the American Pops Orchestra, the rhythm
section of the American Pops Orchestra, some of those guys,
and it was really, really fun and I absolutely loved it.
I didn't even realize. I was like, am I colder hot?
I think they might've had a little heater blowing on
stage and it was awesome. Crowd participation was amazing. I
(09:41):
turned that audience into a choir.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Honey.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I divided them into sopranos, altos, and tenors. I gave
the mic to one man because I thought he was
going to teach the tenors what their part is. But Honey,
he grabbed the mic and gave a whole concert himself,
and I was.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Like, a man, he could actually us egg.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Sometimes, you know, you give the mic to people and
it's fun when they can't. They be off key, they
don't know the words, and it's so fun. But sometimes
it's a shocker. When they actually can carry a tune
A teach.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I said, okay, man, you've.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Got something, and I said, send City Center your invoice,
not me. He was like, wait a minute. I sang
about thirty seconds, but you should not get paid a
little bit. So that was a fun time and again
just singing some of my favorite some of my favorite songs.
Matter of fact, I'll go in to the list of
(10:49):
wonderful Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Simply having.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I did White Christmas Rocking around Chris Deep, did that?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Give Love On? Did that? I did PJ.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Morton's version of Give Love on Christmas Day, the Christmas
song Someday at Christmas Andre Day and Stevie Wonder has
an amazing version of that. And of course this Christmas
the standard Donny Hathaway version. I did not even do
the Destiny's Child version, Donny Hathaway version. That's what I loved.
(11:24):
I didn't not do any Destiny's Shout Christmas songs. Somebody
was like, why didn't you do a Days at Christmas? Now?
The challenge was was being asked to do Christmas songs
that aren't necessarily about the birth of Jesus.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And I was like, what a.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Minute, I'm not gonna have Christmas, not talk about my Jesus.
But it was amazing because there are there were so
many people out there in the audience of different faiths,
different culture, different just different races, different backgrounds. And the
(12:05):
Christmas tree lighting is what brought us all together.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And guess what, I'd do it again.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I think sometimes it's the light that you carry that
tells people what you're about and you don't have to
shove it down anybody's throat. Music brought us together. The season,
the holiday season brought us together, y'all. I saw smiles, people.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Were bundled up.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh, I would do it again. City Center can have
me anytime every year. Maybe I should just do a
Christmas tree lighting tour where.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I go across this I go across the country next
year and just do people's Christmas tree lights.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That would be fun. But it was great. I have
family and friends that came to see me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
My Style and.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Glam Team town A Boutique, Hush, Sharia Davis, and Ebony
just they're all women in the Washington, DC area that
I call on whenever I'm in that area.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I love spreading love.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
If there's a crew in Atlanta, I rock with for Glam,
I rock with them if you're in Houston, for Dallas, Texas, Chicago.
I got Glam crews sprinkled everywhere so that when I'm
in their area we get a chance to fellowship and
talk to each other. We laughed, y'all, we laughed so much,
so that was cool. I came up after a night
(13:52):
of Death Becomes Her that I'm still in and.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Was able.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I got a car and it was driven up to Washington,
d C. Because I wanted to rest Friday night as
much as I could, and a little bit all day
Saturday up until it was time to rehearse and all
the things. And then my, oh my, oh my, I
got win that my sister, Collendria Trene Roland was in Washington,
(14:24):
d C. The Boy is Mine tour made a stop
in Washington, d C. And I was like, what am
I going to do? What am I going to do?
So I made sure that I was able to see
(14:46):
her and see the show that I have hadn't seen yet.
And I was trying not to look at pictures, but
I said, you know what, just when they come across
your timeline, honey, just like them comment it is what
it is, even when B was on tour, I hated
seeing all the clips and all the stuff, but I
(15:06):
was like, it's all right, she's.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Gonna have a new wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Bone and knowing B, she makes changes to her set
or even certain arrangements. So probably what people saw in Chicago,
it was probably different in Atlanta, you know. And same
with Kelly. A few people said that she made tweaks
to her show. Beyonce came on in. Let me tell
(15:34):
you something about that. Beyonce, Giselle and I've been talking
about them the past few episodes. Beyonce comes to something
and she sees something, she's gonna make some suggestions.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
So yes, Kelly's show, the news that I'm hearing Kelly's
show was the bomb. And then when Sister Carter came
on in, now you're seeing something else amazing, So that's
(16:11):
pretty cool. You know.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I think sometimes we don't like.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
To we don't like to bother each other or necessarily
feel like we're bothering each other a burden. But it's
like Kelly and B they're like, girl, Michelle, if you
ever you better pick up matter of fact, They're like,
we better be the first person each other calls. If
there's something in the capacity in which I know you
(16:36):
can do something, call me now. If I'm if I
cannot do it, that's another thing, or I'm gonna send
someone that can, or whatever it is. Y'all, we we
got you got to get you some friends that are
like I wish you would call somebody else other than me.
I love that for us. So, Baby Kelly's show is
(17:02):
so heartfelt. I was in tears first of all, because
she hadn't performed in America on a tour in fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
We got to talk about that. I got to bring
her on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Since we got to talk about that, you know, she's
been a huge phenomenon overseas. She's iconic in America right
And just to see the crowd just be on the
edge of their seat loving her. You want to see
people love people you love. Oh, it felt good to
(17:41):
see people love on Kelly.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
She's got it. She's got everything it takes.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
She crushed it from the time she came out in
that black hat, in that black outfit. Baby, just sexiness.
It wasn't astiness, it was just woman. It was just sexy.
It was I've been on this stage before. I know
what I'm doing, and y'all gonna get all of this baby,
(18:13):
but her sweetness, her heart just you felt you felt
her heart, and you felt that she wanted to make
sure that y'all felt her heart and that she felt
y'all's heart too, because remember to not have toured in
America for fifteen years. Sometimes America we not the easiest
(18:38):
crowds to please. So it did my heart good and
it encouraged me even for myself, like why are you
afraid to do certain things? Who's putting those limitations on you?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yourself?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
You're putting the limitations on you. So it was so
good to lady Michelle Obama coming through to see the
tour was amazing. That was beautiful, getting a chance to
speak with her, just vibe out. I invited her to
(19:15):
death becomes her. Dabby Morrigan was there, my friend John Murray,
Phil Thornton, I got to say I did. I got
to see Monica. Now see, let me tell you something
when I yeah, I'm still an artist, so I know
what it's like when you're going, uh, how do I
(19:40):
say this? I went to see Kelly, but sometimes I
still am probably in my head about well, I don't
want to bother somebody else, maybe while they're getting dressed
or getting ready. And I know people will be happy
to see me, but I know when I'm getting ready
for a show. If you you ain't in my likener
(20:03):
cor come holler at me after the show. Don't bombard
me before with stuff, Come holler at me after. So
I was so glad. What was I doing. I was
walking back inside Kelly's dressing room from doing something. I
(20:23):
don't know what I was doing, and Monica was coming out.
They were taking her to the stage and I got
to see her. And if you're new here, I used
to sing a background from Monica in the year nineteen
ninety nine and some of you all weren't even born yet.
I haven't seen Monica in person. Oh it's been a minute.
So it was good, you know, to just see each
(20:46):
other and just I feel like we hugged for about
five minutes. It was just it just felt so good.
I'm very, very, very very proud of this tour with Monica, Brandy,
Kelly Honey Long had to bow out of the tour
because of some health issues. Maya Jamal Roberts, am I
(21:09):
missing anyone who all been on this tour. Yeah, I've
been cooped up in the theater, so I might be
missing some names, but it just showed I was actually
I was telling Kelly it was really really good to
see this tour being successful. When I looked in the arena,
(21:29):
people were from the floor to the highest seats that
they had in the arena. I thought that that was
absolutely amazing. So I'm proud. I'm super proud of Kelly.
She's got a movie coming out. There's rumored music. I've
(21:54):
heard some of the music. Yes, I heard some of
them music.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And when was that?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Was it in September? She plays some music for me.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
We was pool side at her house and she played
me some of the music and y'all just get ready.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I just I just I just love. I'm I'm proud.
She's an amazing friend, a wife, a mother.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So I'm loving on Kelly for this portion of the
podcast because she did really really good. She showed up,
y'all showed up, and it has been just beautiful to see. Okay,
I am back in New York. I've got a week
(22:43):
of Death becomes Her. We are in the holiday schedule, y'all.
The holiday schedule is brutal but I am pacing myself.
I actually have a massa shortly. I'm not telling you
guys this because it's a flex it's a necessity. I
(23:06):
have to get massages. It's like this therapeutic, like twice
a week. No, I'm not dancing and stuff like the
dancers are. So if I'm having any if I'm having
to get massages twice a week, ain't no telling what
they're having to do to keep their bodies in good shape.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Whether y'all know it or not.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
We performers, we're responsible for our health and our body,
not the show. They do have a physical therapist on
site pretty much every day of the week or I
don't know, three days out the week something like that
where people can go and get massage and taped up
and all the things. But it's really on us to
(23:51):
keep our bodies in shape. And well, you know, now
that it's cold outside, I wear a full face thing
over my face because I don't want to get sick.
So yes, I've got to get a massage and stretch
and keep my ligaments and all the.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Things flexible and.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Not tight, because when you're when stuff is tight, I
think that's what happens that's how you get injured.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
So we don't need any of that. But I really,
really hope.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
You take this month to assess areas that you can
take better care of yourself. Don't wait until the new year.
Let's start now. What does that mean for you? Does
that mean you can wake up maybe fifteen minutes earlier
and stretch, maybe drink your favorite cup of tea or coffee.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Maybe just.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, while you're showering, gonna put some extra soap on
a towel. I don't know what that means for you,
but I'm just wondering if this month you can start
to take care of you. It's been a journey because
(25:16):
not everybody will understand what it is that you're doing.
And it's not for them to understand. It's just for
them to kind of just be a witness to the results.
You don't have to make an announcement to the world
that you're taking better care of yourself. I can do it,
but maybe I feel like I'm called to do it
(25:38):
to be an encouragement to somebody else. But you can
do it privately and then you bust up at Fourth
of July picnic and they'd be like, what you been doing,
minding my business, drinking water, make people ask what is it,
(25:58):
what you've been up to, what you've been doing?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
You seem so peaceful when it's chaotic right now. How
are you doing that? Yeah, that's what you want to
start doing. I've been reading the book. It's called The
Nervous System Reset by Jessica Maguire and also my cousin
that's a therapist. It's a new book I just got
(26:25):
this week called When You're Ready This Is How You
Heal by Brianna Weiss. One hundred and one essays that
will change the way you think. It's amazing because on
the back of the book it says healing is not
a one time event.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It's not even when I.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Made the post today about healing from people pleasing, It's
not a Woe's me. It's letting you know you're gonna
find different things on the journey, like oh I thought
I was over that. It's healing is a day lead
journey because you have to choose you every single day.
(27:06):
Choose you or choose the chaos. Choose you or choose
the dysfunctional person who keeps bringing you mess and drama.
You know what, I'm saying, and so it is a
daily things. It's not a healing is not a you
have a feel good moment, I'm healed. No, No, that's
(27:28):
called a miracle. Healings and miracles are different. Healing is
a journey. A miracle is instant. Okay, when y'all were
Jesus was turning water into wine, baby, that was instant.
When he was opening blind eyes, that was a miracle.
If some processes he did you could see all that
(27:51):
was healing because that took time. Again, we're not having
Bible study, but I just want you to know that
healing it's okay if it still hurts, but before you
know it that hurt, it starts getting better.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It doesn't hurt as bad.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
The thought of that person, the thought of them being gone,
the thought of them betraying you, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
When you think.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
About that situation, it don't hurt. You're able to wish
them well. Actually, you probably cust them out.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
In the beginning. You probably was like.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I wish you'd die. Now you're like, man, I really
hope that they thrive.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Now.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Some people are at the place where they can't do that.
In the beginning, not everybody is there. Everybody is in
on their own healing spectrum. So I just want you
to know that there is no judgment here and I
am excited to continue talking about this with y'all.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
You know, the past few.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Days have been me choosing me, and I feel good
about it, and I really hope that you do too.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I hope this episode encourages you.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That you just begin to think of ways that how
can you choose you, and that you continue to love yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
All right, I love you, and there are people praying
that you believe that you are loved. Take care, We'll
talk soon. Hey, thanks again for checking in with me.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I hope you continue to subscribe to my podcast and share.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I've been looking at the numbers and they have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Y'all have been downloading, so continue because I can't have
this podcast without you.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Who I'm gonna talk to. I gotta continue to talk to.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Y'all, So thanks again. Continue listening to my podcast on
the Black Effect Podcast Network or wherever you listen to
your podcas cast. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a
(30:50):
production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or
wherever you live listen to your favorite shows
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey, there are you wondering
what was all the fuss in Washington, DC over the weekend.
We'll keep it liked on checking in with Michelle Williams,
(00:22):
and I'll tell you everything that happened.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hey, what's up? Do you remember the very first day
of December? Those are not the words, but it felt
right to me.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Wow, we are into the first week of December, and
I hope you feel good about it. I don't know.
This feels like a reset in a way. And I've
been trying to stay present, like in the current day,
and not think about tomorrow, the next day after that,
(01:02):
next week, next month, or even next year.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
So this feels like a reset.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And I'm actually anticipating things to come in the new year.
And I hope that there's at least one good thing
that you're anticipating for the new year. Prayerfully, maybe you
just have something you're anticipating to happen for you tomorrow
or this week, or you need something to take place
for you before this month even ends. So my prayer
(01:31):
is that whatever you have been meditating on, whatever you've
been praying about whatever you have need of, that you
get some good news and that you get some motion.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
By the end of this month. It's been pretty cool.
It's been awesome. Chilla went and got my nails done.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
My nail broke, So when y'all see my nails, these
are my natural nails, and I have it's called builder jail,
and they put this builder jail on.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Top of it.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
But baby, my pinky nail broke all the way down
to the Oh. Anyway, there are bigger problems in the world,
but I'm excited I got my nails done. I'm trying
to try new shapes or new colors, new French tip designs.
Some of y'all don't care nothing about that. But while
(02:25):
I'm saying that, because you know, wanting to do things
for myself, making choices that I probably wouldn't normally make,
you know, just having fun. Also, I've been wearing this
cute cranberry burgundie color on my hands and I was
(02:46):
telling someone that it's probably like, maybe not even my
fifth time wearing like red on my nails. And that's
probably because I grew up in church and for some reason,
the color of was associated with Jezebel. And then when
I finally got to a church where the pastor actually
(03:07):
broke down what Jezebel is and how Jezebel is actually
a spirit, and how Jezebel is not limited to a
color that you wear on your nails or lips, nor.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Is Jezebel a whore. Jezebel is not a woman.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
The Jezebel is the spirit of Jezebel, and female male
can have that spirit.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Okay. I didn't mean to go there and have.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Bible study, but I was like, you know, it's taking
me a minute to wear red fingernail polish and two
wearing red fingernail polish. When you grew up in a
pennelcolstal denomination or the Holiness church, you bout didn't wear
makeup some churches. Some of the women in churches that
(04:01):
are Pentecostal, Apostolic, even certain Baptist variations, you bout can
only wear chapstick. Okay, so for me to have on
red fingernail polish, But Michelle, you're saying bootylicious. You good,
you should have been more red fingernail polish. So I'm
(04:22):
gonna be wearing red a lot more I made a
post today regarding actually a topic that I briefly touched
on on last week's episode, about people pleasing, and I
am so glad that a few of you guys have
responded in the comments, and you've said some really, really
(04:47):
really encouraging things in the comments. So I'm getting I'm
learning to put myself first and choosing me or and
maybe not making certain decisions that betray me. What do
you mean by making decisions that betray you? When you
(05:10):
want to say no, but you say yes and you
find yourself doing this over and over and over again,
or you even find yourself doing this for a particular
person because of maybe how they show up and maybe
how they make you feel. I promise you it's the
(05:32):
first time for everything, and sometimes there is a first
for saying no. Sometimes it's going to be a first
for you putting yourself first, and before you know it,
it will become practice. I'm not saying be selfish, be rude,
be mean. I'm not saying to never show up for anyone.
(05:55):
I'm not saying to stop showing up. Doctor carry Bryant
said something today and she did like an Instagram live
and she or no, she wasn't live. She just I
think she just did a post and she said, if
they have no intentions, they should not get access. If
(06:17):
they don't, if they're not intentional about you in friendship, relationship,
in any relationship, they should not get access. Matter of fact,
you should be able to change the position in your
life that they have. I've also heard someone say, hey,
you there are some people who get a front row seat.
(06:38):
There are some people who are going to be, you know,
in the first balcony. Then the rest of y'all is nosebleeds. Okay,
So I'm going to continue to unpack this thing about
putting yourself first, people pleasing and how people pleasers are
some of the best performers. They're serving others, and yes
(07:03):
they're doing it with the smile, but maybe they've neglected
something that they were supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Now. I do believe.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
God honors when you serve others. I truly believe you
are always taking care of when you serve others. But
there are a lot of people who are You're burnt
out because you just said you've said yes one too
many times and helping someone and maybe there's a pattern.
(07:33):
It's y'all even if it's just taking yourself on a walk,
or you know, getting some sorbet and eating it, eating
it in the car before you go inside to your family,
or to just dysfunction or just stress and chaos. Or
maybe you're walking into a house of peace, into a
(07:55):
business of peace, your workplace or school, but you just
want to get that last sleek in on the ice
cream cone, do it?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Or you just want to listen.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
To the last chorus of your favorite song. Now, if
you're not gonna be late going into work or school,
listen to that last little chorus. Put yourself first. What
is it that you have desired to do for you?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
You know what I'm saying. You've been wanting to get
that health club membership. Put you first. You're gonna feel better.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Not only are you gonna look rip, but you're gonna
continue to feel great. So I just wanted to just
go there. Okay, the past few days have been absolutely wonderful.
And when you talk about putting yourself first, I did
just that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
This weekend.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
This past weekend, I sang at the Christmas tree lighting
in Washington, d C.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
At City Center.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It's this huge, huge, beautiful tree.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Hundreds of people came out. It was like thirty four
to Grease.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
They came out, and I sang some Christmas songs, maybe
six of them I never sang in my life, and
I was like, yo, I think I want to do
a Christmas album.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
This was a vibe.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I did it with the American Pops Orchestra, the rhythm
section of the American Pops Orchestra, some of those guys,
and it was really, really fun and I absolutely loved it.
I didn't even realize. I was like, am I colder hot?
I think they might've had a little heater blowing on
stage and it was awesome. Crowd participation was amazing. I
(09:41):
turned that audience into a choir.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Honey.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
I divided them into sopranos, altos, and tenors. I gave
the mic to one man because I thought he was
going to teach the tenors what their part is. But Honey,
he grabbed the mic and gave a whole concert himself,
and I was.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Like, a man, he could actually us egg.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Sometimes, you know, you give the mic to people and
it's fun when they can't. They be off key, they
don't know the words, and it's so fun. But sometimes
it's a shocker. When they actually can carry a tune
A teach.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I said, okay, man, you've.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Got something, and I said, send City Center your invoice,
not me. He was like, wait a minute. I sang
about thirty seconds, but you should not get paid a
little bit. So that was a fun time and again
just singing some of my favorite some of my favorite songs.
Matter of fact, I'll go in to the list of
(10:49):
wonderful Christmas time.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Simply having.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I did White Christmas Rocking around Chris Deep, did that?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Give Love On? Did that? I did PJ.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Morton's version of Give Love on Christmas Day, the Christmas
song Someday at Christmas Andre Day and Stevie Wonder has
an amazing version of that. And of course this Christmas
the standard Donny Hathaway version. I did not even do
the Destiny's Child version, Donny Hathaway version. That's what I loved.
(11:24):
I didn't not do any Destiny's Shout Christmas songs. Somebody
was like, why didn't you do a Days at Christmas? Now?
The challenge was was being asked to do Christmas songs
that aren't necessarily about the birth of Jesus.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And I was like, what a.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Minute, I'm not gonna have Christmas, not talk about my Jesus.
But it was amazing because there are there were so
many people out there in the audience of different faiths,
different culture, different just different races, different backgrounds. And the
(12:05):
Christmas tree lighting is what brought us all together.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
And guess what, I'd do it again.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I think sometimes it's the light that you carry that
tells people what you're about and you don't have to
shove it down anybody's throat. Music brought us together. The season,
the holiday season brought us together, y'all. I saw smiles, people.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Were bundled up.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh, I would do it again. City Center can have
me anytime every year. Maybe I should just do a
Christmas tree lighting tour where.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I go across this I go across the country next
year and just do people's Christmas tree lights.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
That would be fun. But it was great. I have
family and friends that came to see me.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
My Style and.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Glam Team town A Boutique, Hush, Sharia Davis, and Ebony
just they're all women in the Washington, DC area that
I call on whenever I'm in that area.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I love spreading love.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
If there's a crew in Atlanta, I rock with for Glam,
I rock with them if you're in Houston, for Dallas, Texas, Chicago.
I got Glam crews sprinkled everywhere so that when I'm
in their area we get a chance to fellowship and
talk to each other. We laughed, y'all, we laughed so much,
so that was cool. I came up after a night
(13:52):
of Death Becomes Her that I'm still in and.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Was able.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I got a car and it was driven up to Washington,
d C. Because I wanted to rest Friday night as
much as I could, and a little bit all day
Saturday up until it was time to rehearse and all
the things. And then my, oh my, oh my, I
got win that my sister, Collendria Trene Roland was in Washington,
(14:24):
d C. The Boy is Mine tour made a stop
in Washington, d C. And I was like, what am
I going to do? What am I going to do?
So I made sure that I was able to see
(14:46):
her and see the show that I have hadn't seen yet.
And I was trying not to look at pictures, but
I said, you know what, just when they come across
your timeline, honey, just like them comment it is what
it is, even when B was on tour, I hated
seeing all the clips and all the stuff, but I
(15:06):
was like, it's all right, she's.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Gonna have a new wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Bone and knowing B, she makes changes to her set
or even certain arrangements. So probably what people saw in Chicago,
it was probably different in Atlanta, you know. And same
with Kelly. A few people said that she made tweaks
to her show. Beyonce came on in. Let me tell
(15:34):
you something about that. Beyonce, Giselle and I've been talking
about them the past few episodes. Beyonce comes to something
and she sees something, she's gonna make some suggestions.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
So yes, Kelly's show, the news that I'm hearing Kelly's
show was the bomb. And then when Sister Carter came
on in, now you're seeing something else amazing, So that's
(16:11):
pretty cool. You know.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I think sometimes we don't like.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
To we don't like to bother each other or necessarily
feel like we're bothering each other a burden. But it's
like Kelly and B they're like, girl, Michelle, if you
ever you better pick up matter of fact, They're like,
we better be the first person each other calls. If
there's something in the capacity in which I know you
(16:36):
can do something, call me now. If I'm if I
cannot do it, that's another thing, or I'm gonna send
someone that can, or whatever it is. Y'all, we we
got you got to get you some friends that are
like I wish you would call somebody else other than me.
I love that for us. So, Baby Kelly's show is
(17:02):
so heartfelt. I was in tears first of all, because
she hadn't performed in America on a tour in fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
We got to talk about that. I got to bring
her on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Since we got to talk about that, you know, she's
been a huge phenomenon overseas. She's iconic in America right
And just to see the crowd just be on the
edge of their seat loving her. You want to see
people love people you love. Oh, it felt good to
(17:41):
see people love on Kelly.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
She's got it. She's got everything it takes.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
She crushed it from the time she came out in
that black hat, in that black outfit. Baby, just sexiness.
It wasn't astiness, it was just woman. It was just sexy.
It was I've been on this stage before. I know
what I'm doing, and y'all gonna get all of this baby,
(18:13):
but her sweetness, her heart just you felt you felt
her heart, and you felt that she wanted to make
sure that y'all felt her heart and that she felt
y'all's heart too, because remember to not have toured in
America for fifteen years. Sometimes America we not the easiest
(18:38):
crowds to please. So it did my heart good and
it encouraged me even for myself, like why are you
afraid to do certain things? Who's putting those limitations on you?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yourself?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
You're putting the limitations on you. So it was so
good to lady Michelle Obama coming through to see the
tour was amazing. That was beautiful, getting a chance to
speak with her, just vibe out. I invited her to
(19:15):
death becomes her. Dabby Morrigan was there, my friend John Murray,
Phil Thornton, I got to say I did. I got
to see Monica. Now see, let me tell you something
when I yeah, I'm still an artist, so I know
what it's like when you're going, uh, how do I
(19:40):
say this? I went to see Kelly, but sometimes I
still am probably in my head about well, I don't
want to bother somebody else, maybe while they're getting dressed
or getting ready. And I know people will be happy
to see me, but I know when I'm getting ready
for a show. If you you ain't in my likener
(20:03):
cor come holler at me after the show. Don't bombard
me before with stuff, Come holler at me after. So
I was so glad. What was I doing. I was
walking back inside Kelly's dressing room from doing something. I
(20:23):
don't know what I was doing, and Monica was coming out.
They were taking her to the stage and I got
to see her. And if you're new here, I used
to sing a background from Monica in the year nineteen
ninety nine and some of you all weren't even born yet.
I haven't seen Monica in person. Oh it's been a minute.
So it was good, you know, to just see each
(20:46):
other and just I feel like we hugged for about
five minutes. It was just it just felt so good.
I'm very, very, very very proud of this tour with Monica, Brandy,
Kelly Honey Long had to bow out of the tour
because of some health issues. Maya Jamal Roberts, am I
(21:09):
missing anyone who all been on this tour. Yeah, I've
been cooped up in the theater, so I might be
missing some names, but it just showed I was actually
I was telling Kelly it was really really good to
see this tour being successful. When I looked in the arena,
(21:29):
people were from the floor to the highest seats that
they had in the arena. I thought that that was
absolutely amazing. So I'm proud. I'm super proud of Kelly.
She's got a movie coming out. There's rumored music. I've
(21:54):
heard some of the music. Yes, I heard some of
them music.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And when was that?
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Maybe?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Was it in September? She plays some music for me.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
We was pool side at her house and she played
me some of the music and y'all just get ready.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I just I just I just love. I'm I'm proud.
She's an amazing friend, a wife, a mother.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So I'm loving on Kelly for this portion of the
podcast because she did really really good. She showed up,
y'all showed up, and it has been just beautiful to see. Okay,
I am back in New York. I've got a week
(22:43):
of Death becomes Her. We are in the holiday schedule, y'all.
The holiday schedule is brutal but I am pacing myself.
I actually have a massa shortly. I'm not telling you
guys this because it's a flex it's a necessity. I
(23:06):
have to get massages. It's like this therapeutic, like twice
a week. No, I'm not dancing and stuff like the
dancers are. So if I'm having any if I'm having
to get massages twice a week, ain't no telling what
they're having to do to keep their bodies in good shape.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Whether y'all know it or not.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
We performers, we're responsible for our health and our body,
not the show. They do have a physical therapist on
site pretty much every day of the week or I
don't know, three days out the week something like that
where people can go and get massage and taped up
and all the things. But it's really on us to
(23:51):
keep our bodies in shape. And well, you know, now
that it's cold outside, I wear a full face thing
over my face because I don't want to get sick.
So yes, I've got to get a massage and stretch
and keep my ligaments and all the.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Things flexible and.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Not tight, because when you're when stuff is tight, I
think that's what happens that's how you get injured.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
So we don't need any of that. But I really,
really hope.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
You take this month to assess areas that you can
take better care of yourself. Don't wait until the new year.
Let's start now. What does that mean for you? Does
that mean you can wake up maybe fifteen minutes earlier
and stretch, maybe drink your favorite cup of tea or coffee.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Maybe just.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, while you're showering, gonna put some extra soap on
a towel. I don't know what that means for you,
but I'm just wondering if this month you can start
to take care of you. It's been a journey because
(25:16):
not everybody will understand what it is that you're doing.
And it's not for them to understand. It's just for
them to kind of just be a witness to the results.
You don't have to make an announcement to the world
that you're taking better care of yourself. I can do it,
but maybe I feel like I'm called to do it
(25:38):
to be an encouragement to somebody else. But you can
do it privately and then you bust up at Fourth
of July picnic and they'd be like, what you been doing,
minding my business, drinking water, make people ask what is it,
(25:58):
what you've been up to, what you've been doing?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
You seem so peaceful when it's chaotic right now. How
are you doing that? Yeah, that's what you want to
start doing. I've been reading the book. It's called The
Nervous System Reset by Jessica Maguire and also my cousin
that's a therapist. It's a new book I just got
(26:25):
this week called When You're Ready This Is How You
Heal by Brianna Weiss. One hundred and one essays that
will change the way you think. It's amazing because on
the back of the book it says healing is not
a one time event.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It's not even when I.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Made the post today about healing from people pleasing, It's
not a Woe's me. It's letting you know you're gonna
find different things on the journey, like oh I thought
I was over that. It's healing is a day lead
journey because you have to choose you every single day.
(27:06):
Choose you or choose the chaos. Choose you or choose
the dysfunctional person who keeps bringing you mess and drama.
You know what, I'm saying, and so it is a
daily things. It's not a healing is not a you
have a feel good moment, I'm healed. No, No, that's
(27:28):
called a miracle. Healings and miracles are different. Healing is
a journey. A miracle is instant. Okay, when y'all were
Jesus was turning water into wine, baby, that was instant.
When he was opening blind eyes, that was a miracle.
If some processes he did you could see all that
(27:51):
was healing because that took time. Again, we're not having
Bible study, but I just want you to know that
healing it's okay if it still hurts, but before you
know it that hurt, it starts getting better.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
It doesn't hurt as bad.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
The thought of that person, the thought of them being gone,
the thought of them betraying you, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
When you think.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
About that situation, it don't hurt. You're able to wish
them well. Actually, you probably cust them out.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
In the beginning. You probably was like.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
I wish you'd die. Now you're like, man, I really
hope that they thrive.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Now.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Some people are at the place where they can't do that.
In the beginning, not everybody is there. Everybody is in
on their own healing spectrum. So I just want you
to know that there is no judgment here and I
am excited to continue talking about this with y'all.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
You know, the past few.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Days have been me choosing me, and I feel good
about it, and I really hope that you do too.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I hope this episode encourages you.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That you just begin to think of ways that how
can you choose you, and that you continue to love yourself.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
All right, I love you, and there are people praying
that you believe that you are loved. Take care, We'll
talk soon. Hey, thanks again for checking in with me.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I hope you continue to subscribe to my podcast and share.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I've been looking at the numbers and they have been amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Y'all have been downloading, so continue because I can't have
this podcast without you.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Who I'm gonna talk to. I gotta continue to talk to.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Y'all, So thanks again. Continue listening to my podcast on
the Black Effect Podcast Network or wherever you listen to
your podcas cast. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a
(30:50):
production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or
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