June 17, 2025 • 33 mins
In this episode, Michelle talks about what she experienced last summer. What she thought was depression, turned out to be something completely different. She also addresses the backlash that GloRilla and Kirk Franklin received after winning the Dr. Bobby Jones Best Gospel/Inspirational Award!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. On this week's episode of
(00:20):
Checking In, did I fall back into depression last summer
or was it something else? And yes, I do give
my two cents on all the discussion about Glorrilla and
her Win at the BET Awards that had some folks
in the gospel music industry their feathers were ruffled a
(00:41):
little bit. Hey everybody, how y'all doing. Welcome to another
amazing episode of Checking In. This is episode three of
season four. I'm excited because we do have some amazing
guests planned for this year, and I'm definitely curious about
(01:03):
some topics and or a guess that you are curious about.
I definitely love y'all suggestions. So if you feel like
there's somebody that I haven't talked to before, or you're like, hey,
I've really enjoyed a prior guest, let me know, or Hey, Michelle,
(01:24):
I haven't really heard you tackle this topic, let me know.
I do not consider myself a know at all, and
I want to make sure that I'm giving you all
amazing discussions and topics and all that good stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
This week's episode literally is.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Going to be about this week, actually the prior week.
Let me take that back, because, baby, when I tell y'all,
it took me about four or five days to recover
(02:04):
from the Tonys, and I said, wait a minute, it's
because I'm getting older and I can't be outside. And
then I began to think, No, you've always been like this.
You've always been like this. You've always been You get
(02:25):
to a place where, Okay, enough's enough. You know, I
get a little over stimulated, and I'm like, all right,
all right, enough's enough, it's time to go. I believe
I said on the previous episode that, and if I
did it, I admire those who are just the social boppers,
(02:51):
people that can go from party to party, person to
person and just have so much energy. There are two
people in my life that I feel it's like that. No,
I'm gonna take that back. Three June Ambrose, who is
just a burst of sunshine and energy. Okay, Yvette Noel, Sure, honey,
(03:17):
even if I consense that she's tired, she is going
to be ready to drop it like it's hot. Honey.
She's going to laugh, or honey, she might find space
to cry because that Yvette can cry and I love
her for it. Then Kelly Roland, Kelly is just she's
(03:43):
just she's so sweet. Well, you know what. And a
mirror my good girlfriend, a mirror ogon l that woman,
but a mirror she liked me, know she is like
all right, I've had fun. Now it's time to go
to bed. But I'm just naming some people in my
life where I truly admire and I just envy their spunkiness. Okay,
(04:11):
I don't have it. It is what it is. There
are things that bring me joy, like going to Brooklyn
for pizza, going to an amusement park for the day,
riding all the roller coasters, and then going back where home,
so I like a good rah rah and then all right,
(04:33):
it's time to go. Also, it's a possibility I'm not
riding with nobody, you know why, because I don't want
to feel like I'm hostage. Nope, I'll get myself there
and I'll get myself back, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's why I'm so thankful for these ride apps.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I guess even if I did write with someone and
I felt like I was ready to go, I can
actually call my own car home so shout out to
Uber Lift, Black Lane and other car services. Yeah. I
don't like to feel stuck. Nope, when I'm ready to go,
I'm ready to go. Y'all call me in the morning. Okay.
(05:19):
Is there anybody else like that? Or am I just
over it? And I just like a nice quiet night alone?
Is anybody else like that? So I'm saying on this
to say, oh my god. So the days after the Tonys,
(05:41):
everybody was so tired. And when I say everybody, casting
crew of Death becomes her, I think it's because too
we opened in the fall. Then there was the holiday schedule,
which is absolutely bonkers. And then right as we're kind
of getting into the swing of things, you know, there's
(06:04):
some promotion here and there, chow, the Tony nominations come about,
and then that's a whole another round of promo, which,
by the way, I'm not saying all this to complain.
I'm just telling you we just haven't had a moment
to I guess kind of get our bearings. While we
(06:27):
are yet excited, we are all thankful, but I have
since discovered it is okay to be thankful, and well,
what's the ad tired?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Thankful and exhausted.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Don't let anybody tell you that you are not grateful,
should you also be tired? Two things are true. I'm
grateful to be originating a role in an amazing Broadway musical,
but I also am ready for vacation. Right, is there
anybody else out there you're like, Oh, I love my job,
(07:04):
but I can't wait for the weekend. I love my
job and I'm ready to go eat some good food
with my loved ones and the people that it's it's
okay to have both. So don't let anybody make you
feel like it can only be one thing. It could
be many things that are true at once. So again,
(07:24):
I'm grateful, but I'm ready for my vacation as well.
So everything's been amazing. I will say I felt like
I think my body was just kind of also like girl,
it's been an amazing eight months. Actually, since February of
twenty twenty four, it's been practically non stop. And there
(07:50):
are times where your body will let you know it's
time to pour back into you. That's another thing. Sometimes
we have trouble doing. We go go, go, go go.
We show up for everyone, which we love to do.
(08:11):
Nothing's wrong with showing up for people, but it does
become a problem where you don't show up for yourself.
What does that mean? It's the self care, It could
be the facials and the massages, but also don't neglect
that inner self care, really taking time to sit down,
(08:32):
icknowledge and acknowledge, Oh, I'm feeling like this today. I'm
feeling really really low today, I'm feeling drained, and I
am so glad that I have a safe person that
I can say, Mama, ain't got it today. I'm drained.
(08:53):
I'm feeling really really low. And they don't try to
fix it. They just let the space be what it is.
And I really really really love that. And sometimes even
just acknowledging how you feel also helps. So once I
(09:17):
was able to acknowledge how I was feeling, that's when
I was like, Okay, what do you have to do
to fill yourself up making sure that I'm getting the
amount of sleep that I need. I've got a few
things up my sleeves and it requires me to always
be on my laptop finishing up coursework and also trying
(09:41):
to sneak in certain things. You know, on these apps
Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime and all of that stuff.
But sometimes I've had to tell myself this week, this
will be here when I wake up in the morning,
Lord willing it, It'll be here. Rest is so important,
(10:05):
My diet is so important.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I will share this with y'all.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I have I'm going to share this with y'all, which
is I'm not gonna say it's funny, but I will share.
Last year, I was walking through a personal decision that
I had to make, and I felt like that decision
(10:33):
that I had to make could make you feel sad.
But I was like, I've done enough therapy. I know
what depression feels like. I can't let this get me there.
But y'all, last summer I would which is my favorite season,
(10:58):
right and I was still traveling, having a good time,
But waking up in the mornings was so very hard
for me. And that was so reminiscent of when I
was in a deep depression.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
As long as I was asleep, I was money.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I was okay, because when you're depressed, and I know
for me, where all you want to do is sleep
because you don't have to function. Really, you're just sleeping,
and you're just letting the day go by and pass
and pass and pass. But at this point I was like,
what is going on? These mornings are difficult and what
(11:44):
I'm walking through really, I won't say really, ain't that deep?
What is going on?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It would literally feel like a weighted blanket.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And weighted blankets are amazing, by the way, if you
deal with any anxiety, or you just have trouble falling
asleep just due to restlessness, or it takes a minute
for your mind to kind of settle down, a weighted
blanket is amazing because it will it mimics another human,
(12:23):
the weight of another human basically, And they say that
when your obviously when you sleep next to somebody, that
it helps you fall asleep faster, and apparently you have
better sleep. I don't know if I agree if you
have better sleep, like I don't want to be hugged
(12:44):
up and stuff, acknowledge your presence, okay, all right, and
then by all right we cuddled alright, Okay. Weight at
blanket is supposed to mimic the weight of someone else.
(13:05):
So the weight to blanket, you put it on top
of you and you I've had some of the best
sleep ever, right, And funny story about a way to blanket.
I have had a weight at blanket that I got
that was too heavy, and so I had to go
back to the original weight of the way to blanket.
But anyway, I'm saying all this to say, this past summer,
(13:27):
I'm sleeping. I'm just so sleepy again, feeling so heavy.
And towards the end of last summer, before I moved
to New York, I got all my blood work done
an amazing natural path in Phoenix, Arizona. They did all
(13:50):
my blood, probably about ten twelve vials of blood, and
the results come back and the doctor is like, Michelle,
how are you walking? How are you even upright? Y'all?
(14:11):
We found out my iron and ferretin was low. So
I'm saying all this to say it might not in
my case. It was not depression, it was not sadness.
My ferretin was in the single digits. My iron was
(14:37):
eighty percent lower than what it should be, so no
wonder I was feeling like the walking dead. My iron
in ferytin was extremely low. So it was to the
point where they're like, ma'am, supplements just a one a
(14:59):
day and gonna work for you. You actually need transfusions. What yes,
iron transfusions to get my iron and ferretine to the
levels where they need to be. I have always been anemic,
but I don't recall those levels being like where my
(15:21):
ferytin is in the single digits. Like if there are
any nurses doctors that are listening to this episode, your
mouth is probably on the floor because I don't know
how I was functioning. So I'm saying of this to say, please, please, please,
if you're feeling lower than normal, you might want to
(15:45):
just get some blood work done.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
To find out what your levels are.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Maybe it's not necessarily depression, it could be some hormonal imbalances. Y'all,
please please, please, please, please please get your blood work done.
Please get your blood work done. I'm a fan of
a company called function Health. Or again, just talk to
(16:13):
your physician about saying, hey, you just want to get
a check up, get some blood work done, get all
your panels, get your cholesterol, your iron, heart, liver, all that.
Just tell them you want about twenty bios of blood
drawn and it shall tell you everything. Ladies, what's your
(16:36):
amh okay, what's your FSH? What's your LSH? If you're
thinking about you know, children, these are all things that
you want to know. Start now, so y'all, yes, it
was not depression. My iron was just low. My farrytone
(16:56):
was just extremely, extremely low. Uh. I was a walking zombie.
So I thank god that he kept me. I thank
god that nothing seriously medically, you know, happened that necessarily
put me in the hospital. So I'm thankful for that.
But yeah, let's get those levels checked because I really
(17:17):
really thought I was in a state of depression. And
again my iron and ferrytine was just low. All right,
I don't mind sharing that with you guys, because maybe
it will help someone else. All Right. I am gearing
up for a gospel concert in Miami that is taking
(17:42):
place this weekend. It's an hour long set along with
Bishop has A Kyawalker and my friends at the Faith Center,
Bishop Joel Tutman, Latasha Tutman and their band and singers.
It's going to be crazy. But y'all, I've just been
doing Death Becomes Her for a year, Okay. I haven't
(18:06):
been on no praise of worship teams at my church.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
It's just so I'm really kind of excited.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
To let loose a little bit. I'm going home, and
when I say home, you already know gospel is my
first love. I'm going home to my first love of
gospel music, and I'm kind of nervous. I was talking
to Jason Bolan because he's gonna help me with my styling,
and I was like, bro, I can't believe I said
(18:34):
yes to this. Why did I say yes? Because I've
been y'all know, I've been kind of teeter titering on
this music thing, on the artist side of things, like
I don't mind a little song here or there, but
performing again as a solo artist. It's kind of like,
(18:58):
I want to do it, but I want to do
it on my terms. If y'all understand what I'm saying,
I don't want to be in the rat race anymore.
Y'all have supported me throughout these years, and I feel
like I feel like I can do it the way
I want to do it. Of course, in the spirit
(19:18):
of excellence. Of course I need distribution. Of course it
needs to be marketed, but I don't I don't I
don't want to necessarily go the traditional route. I don't
think people have to go to the traditional route anymore
as it relates to releasing their music, your artistry, even
just being an entrepreneur. Everything is really direct to consumer nowadays,
(19:44):
So y'all pray for me. I am. I'm excited, but
I'm also very, very nervous. My set list is pretty cool.
My brother, Aaron william is actually going to He's in
the band. He's going to accompany me, which is so
(20:06):
rare because of his own crazy schedule. But I called
him up. I was like, brother, can you please?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Can you please be with me in Miami?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And he said yes. So I feel like I'll have
a protector, I'll have my anchor, and he knows me
so well musically, so I'm really excited about him being there.
My brother. A lot of gospel artists love my brother,
(20:39):
and a lot of them will ask about my brother
before they even ask about me. I e. Fred Hammond,
Ti Trippitt, Jonathan Nelson, the sheard I'm like, hey, I'm
standing here too.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
They'd be like, how is Aaron.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I'm like, I guess I'm just mince meat. But I
love that. Folks love on my brother. He is super,
super talented, such a great heart, and he has been
doing amazing things in the city of Chicago for years.
But he is going to be with his baby sister
in Miami for this performance. Hey, by the way, if
(21:22):
you want to go, if you're in Miami, or even
if you're like, hey, I'm not in Miami, but I'm
gonna come support you. It is at the night Concert
Hall at the Arsched Okay, So I'm really, really, really
excited about this. Hezekiah Walker is joining me, is going
(21:46):
to be absolutely bonkers, all right, So I cannot wait
to see you guys down there. And speaking of gospel music,
there was I was kind of of wondering if I
was going to lend my voice to this because I
didn't want to make it personal because of my experience
(22:10):
in the actual genre, which majority has been great. I've
made some great connections, but then there, you know, have
been some moments where I was like, oh, and I
think that's with any genre, that's with any industry. But
there was an upset about Misscalrilla, who, by the way,
(22:30):
don't mess with nobody. She earned the Doctor Bobby Jones'
Best Gospel Inspirational Award for her song rain Down on Me,
a track that feature Kirk Franklin and Maverick City Music.
By the way, she had two of the heavy hitters
and gospel music right now right, so it was probably
(22:52):
that sometimes when you see a ballot, there are some
people who check off who they know. You know, it
is that as well. But I will just encourage people
if you work in an industry and they're passing.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Out awards, I believe that.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
We're human just kind of like what I share with
y'all about the Tony Awards. You get so excited, and
it was more so the people in my circle hyping
me up about it, right, and then when it doesn't happen,
you're like, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm chilling,
Like again, I feel like I already won. But as
it relates to when you're mute, when you're doing and
(23:42):
there are like again, there are other industries where you
are celebrated. You're celebrated in the medical field. There are
awards that are giving out for things. So let me
streamline it back down to music. You put your best
work out, you know, and then you're just like, oh, man,
(24:05):
I should have been nominated or I should have won,
and so you again, it's it's the human nature of
us that you want to be acknowledged and you want
to be celebrated, but then somehow you have to recalibrate
and ask yourself why am I doing this? And I'll
(24:31):
never forget. I was coming home from a gospel music
award weekend and I remember getting on that airplane crying
because I felt like I was not wanted there. It
was kind of like, literally, like why are you here?
(24:53):
You already have your thing? Go back over there, and
like what people don't And I'm gonna get to the point.
It was like I wanted so many people in gospel
music to know, like, yeah, I'm over here, but I
love this genre too. I love y'all. How can I
bring what I've learned from there? How can I bring
(25:15):
it over here? What resources? What I'm here to serve?
I'm not here to take. I'm literally I'm here to serve,
Like I love this gospel music.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But again, it can't be about that. That's a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Wanting to serve great, But if you're only trying to
serve a certain sector of people, that's where you miss
out on. I have to be here to serve the
people that whom God knows who needs what I have.
So I remember crying on that airplane after this gospel
(25:55):
awards situation, and God spoke to me and said, why
are you crying about a box?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I never put you in.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Your gift is not just for this box over here,
because that's a small sector of people. I have called
you to the world. There are people outside of the
gospel music genre who need what you have. Timmy tru
(26:38):
Michelle Williams, Why are you crying about a box? I
never put you in? Y'all? When I tell you, I
wiped my tears so fast, and I was like, oh Lord,
I'm sorry. You're right. I was just playing. I started
looking at my calendar whom maybe my psychle was getting
ready to start. Maybe that's why I'm so emotional. Mm hmmm.
(27:01):
Wipe those tears because it's a possibility your gift goes
beyond a certain group of people. Have you ever thought
about that? We won't belonging so much. Again, that's part
(27:23):
of our conditioning. We want to be accepted, we want
to be affirmed, we want to be acknowledged, and we
want to be awarded. Jonathan mcrenold's posted something and he said,
sometimes the award is basically I'm paraphrasing. You probably didn't
get that statue, but you got peace of mind. You
(27:47):
didn't get that statue, but you have been consistently working
and touring. How many people have awards but don't have
a job. You have the nice plaque on your wall,
you have the nice statue sitting on your display table
or in your display case, but you're not really living
(28:10):
an amazing quality of life because you chased acknowledgment. Y'all,
I want to travel the way I've been traveling. I
want a great quality of life. I want love to
be loved. I want to share it with the people
I love. Okay, so again it goes back to that thing,
(28:34):
you know, with the Tony Awards and not getting that
nomination and death becomes her. We only got one win
out of ten nominations, right, So when you realize you've
already won because you get to do something that you love,
you're making impact. I read every piece of fan mail
(28:56):
that I can and to know that the messages even
go beyond my performance on that stage. Some of those
letters say I'm reading your book, or I have read
your book, I listened to your podcast. One person said,
you let me know that I can have a mental
(29:17):
health issue and still win. So you got to kind
of figure out what do you want. But the first
should always be why do you do what it is
you do? You can sit with that because maybe that'll
(29:37):
help you in your feelings about a particular situation. Why
do I do what I do? Now? Some people, Hey,
my why is some people's wise, I just want to
make a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
That's cool too, that's your why. Well, dude, you got
to do to make a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Wow, don't do everything you gotta do, because that's another
and that's another episode. So when I know that my
why is to positively make impact in the lives of others,
that's my mission statement. Now it is the how, whether
that is through a gospel music performance, whether that is
(30:20):
through my words in an interview, or my words in
a book, my words on a podcast, or the role
that I play in a musical a movie that I
may do next year. Like it, what's the why? Because
the why also helps me in what I say yes
(30:41):
to and what I say no to. If it's gonna
take me out of alignment, answer is probably gonna be no.
But I do filter that through people that I trust.
If I'm having a real hard time making a decision,
I do filter that through people that I trust and
(31:03):
whom I know have my well being in their mind
when they're gonna mentor me or coach me into something.
So I just wanted to share that with y'all. And please, please,
please have an amazing week. I cannot wait to come
(31:27):
back next week to tell y'all how the concert in
Miami went. And I desire your thoughts. Please send up
amazing prayer for me, that people would have an amazing experience,
an amazing encounter. And I want to make you the
(31:51):
hero of my podcast and of this particular episode too.
Is just as far as figuring out your wife and
going out there and doing something with it.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
All right, I will see y'all soon.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I love y'all very much. Checking In with Michelle Williams
(33:39):
is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For
more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. On this week's episode of
(00:20):
Checking In, did I fall back into depression last summer
or was it something else? And yes, I do give
my two cents on all the discussion about Glorrilla and
her Win at the BET Awards that had some folks
in the gospel music industry their feathers were ruffled a
(00:41):
little bit. Hey everybody, how y'all doing. Welcome to another
amazing episode of Checking In. This is episode three of
season four. I'm excited because we do have some amazing
guests planned for this year, and I'm definitely curious about
(01:03):
some topics and or a guess that you are curious about.
I definitely love y'all suggestions. So if you feel like
there's somebody that I haven't talked to before, or you're like, hey,
I've really enjoyed a prior guest, let me know, or Hey, Michelle,
(01:24):
I haven't really heard you tackle this topic, let me know.
I do not consider myself a know at all, and
I want to make sure that I'm giving you all
amazing discussions and topics and all that good stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
This week's episode literally is.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Going to be about this week, actually the prior week.
Let me take that back, because, baby, when I tell y'all,
it took me about four or five days to recover
(02:04):
from the Tonys, and I said, wait a minute, it's
because I'm getting older and I can't be outside. And
then I began to think, No, you've always been like this.
You've always been like this. You've always been You get
(02:25):
to a place where, Okay, enough's enough. You know, I
get a little over stimulated, and I'm like, all right,
all right, enough's enough, it's time to go. I believe
I said on the previous episode that, and if I
did it, I admire those who are just the social boppers,
(02:51):
people that can go from party to party, person to
person and just have so much energy. There are two
people in my life that I feel it's like that. No,
I'm gonna take that back. Three June Ambrose, who is
just a burst of sunshine and energy. Okay, Yvette Noel, Sure, honey,
(03:17):
even if I consense that she's tired, she is going
to be ready to drop it like it's hot. Honey.
She's going to laugh, or honey, she might find space
to cry because that Yvette can cry and I love
her for it. Then Kelly Roland, Kelly is just she's
(03:43):
just she's so sweet. Well, you know what. And a
mirror my good girlfriend, a mirror ogon l that woman,
but a mirror she liked me, know she is like
all right, I've had fun. Now it's time to go
to bed. But I'm just naming some people in my
life where I truly admire and I just envy their spunkiness. Okay,
(04:11):
I don't have it. It is what it is. There
are things that bring me joy, like going to Brooklyn
for pizza, going to an amusement park for the day,
riding all the roller coasters, and then going back where home,
so I like a good rah rah and then all right,
(04:33):
it's time to go. Also, it's a possibility I'm not
riding with nobody, you know why, because I don't want
to feel like I'm hostage. Nope, I'll get myself there
and I'll get myself back, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's why I'm so thankful for these ride apps.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I guess even if I did write with someone and
I felt like I was ready to go, I can
actually call my own car home so shout out to
Uber Lift, Black Lane and other car services. Yeah. I
don't like to feel stuck. Nope, when I'm ready to go,
I'm ready to go. Y'all call me in the morning. Okay.
(05:19):
Is there anybody else like that? Or am I just
over it? And I just like a nice quiet night alone?
Is anybody else like that? So I'm saying on this
to say, oh my god. So the days after the Tonys,
(05:41):
everybody was so tired. And when I say everybody, casting
crew of Death becomes her, I think it's because too
we opened in the fall. Then there was the holiday schedule,
which is absolutely bonkers. And then right as we're kind
of getting into the swing of things, you know, there's
(06:04):
some promotion here and there, chow, the Tony nominations come about,
and then that's a whole another round of promo, which,
by the way, I'm not saying all this to complain.
I'm just telling you we just haven't had a moment
to I guess kind of get our bearings. While we
(06:27):
are yet excited, we are all thankful, but I have
since discovered it is okay to be thankful, and well,
what's the ad tired?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Thankful and exhausted.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Don't let anybody tell you that you are not grateful,
should you also be tired? Two things are true. I'm
grateful to be originating a role in an amazing Broadway musical,
but I also am ready for vacation. Right, is there
anybody else out there you're like, Oh, I love my job,
(07:04):
but I can't wait for the weekend. I love my
job and I'm ready to go eat some good food
with my loved ones and the people that it's it's
okay to have both. So don't let anybody make you
feel like it can only be one thing. It could
be many things that are true at once. So again,
(07:24):
I'm grateful, but I'm ready for my vacation as well.
So everything's been amazing. I will say I felt like
I think my body was just kind of also like girl,
it's been an amazing eight months. Actually, since February of
twenty twenty four, it's been practically non stop. And there
(07:50):
are times where your body will let you know it's
time to pour back into you. That's another thing. Sometimes
we have trouble doing. We go go, go, go go.
We show up for everyone, which we love to do.
(08:11):
Nothing's wrong with showing up for people, but it does
become a problem where you don't show up for yourself.
What does that mean? It's the self care, It could
be the facials and the massages, but also don't neglect
that inner self care, really taking time to sit down,
(08:32):
icknowledge and acknowledge, Oh, I'm feeling like this today. I'm
feeling really really low today, I'm feeling drained, and I
am so glad that I have a safe person that
I can say, Mama, ain't got it today. I'm drained.
(08:53):
I'm feeling really really low. And they don't try to
fix it. They just let the space be what it is.
And I really really really love that. And sometimes even
just acknowledging how you feel also helps. So once I
(09:17):
was able to acknowledge how I was feeling, that's when
I was like, Okay, what do you have to do
to fill yourself up making sure that I'm getting the
amount of sleep that I need. I've got a few
things up my sleeves and it requires me to always
be on my laptop finishing up coursework and also trying
(09:41):
to sneak in certain things. You know, on these apps
Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime and all of that stuff.
But sometimes I've had to tell myself this week, this
will be here when I wake up in the morning,
Lord willing it, It'll be here. Rest is so important,
(10:05):
My diet is so important.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I will share this with y'all.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I have I'm going to share this with y'all, which
is I'm not gonna say it's funny, but I will share.
Last year, I was walking through a personal decision that
I had to make, and I felt like that decision
(10:33):
that I had to make could make you feel sad.
But I was like, I've done enough therapy. I know
what depression feels like. I can't let this get me there.
But y'all, last summer I would which is my favorite season,
(10:58):
right and I was still traveling, having a good time,
But waking up in the mornings was so very hard
for me. And that was so reminiscent of when I
was in a deep depression.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
As long as I was asleep, I was money.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I was okay, because when you're depressed, and I know
for me, where all you want to do is sleep
because you don't have to function. Really, you're just sleeping,
and you're just letting the day go by and pass
and pass and pass. But at this point I was like,
what is going on? These mornings are difficult and what
(11:44):
I'm walking through really, I won't say really, ain't that deep?
What is going on?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
It would literally feel like a weighted blanket.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And weighted blankets are amazing, by the way, if you
deal with any anxiety, or you just have trouble falling
asleep just due to restlessness, or it takes a minute
for your mind to kind of settle down, a weighted
blanket is amazing because it will it mimics another human,
(12:23):
the weight of another human basically, And they say that
when your obviously when you sleep next to somebody, that
it helps you fall asleep faster, and apparently you have
better sleep. I don't know if I agree if you
have better sleep, like I don't want to be hugged
(12:44):
up and stuff, acknowledge your presence, okay, all right, and
then by all right we cuddled alright, Okay. Weight at
blanket is supposed to mimic the weight of someone else.
(13:05):
So the weight to blanket, you put it on top
of you and you I've had some of the best
sleep ever, right, And funny story about a way to blanket.
I have had a weight at blanket that I got
that was too heavy, and so I had to go
back to the original weight of the way to blanket.
But anyway, I'm saying all this to say, this past summer,
(13:27):
I'm sleeping. I'm just so sleepy again, feeling so heavy.
And towards the end of last summer, before I moved
to New York, I got all my blood work done
an amazing natural path in Phoenix, Arizona. They did all
(13:50):
my blood, probably about ten twelve vials of blood, and
the results come back and the doctor is like, Michelle,
how are you walking? How are you even upright? Y'all?
(14:11):
We found out my iron and ferretin was low. So
I'm saying all this to say it might not in
my case. It was not depression, it was not sadness.
My ferretin was in the single digits. My iron was
(14:37):
eighty percent lower than what it should be, so no
wonder I was feeling like the walking dead. My iron
in ferytin was extremely low. So it was to the
point where they're like, ma'am, supplements just a one a
(14:59):
day and gonna work for you. You actually need transfusions. What yes,
iron transfusions to get my iron and ferretine to the
levels where they need to be. I have always been anemic,
but I don't recall those levels being like where my
(15:21):
ferytin is in the single digits. Like if there are
any nurses doctors that are listening to this episode, your
mouth is probably on the floor because I don't know
how I was functioning. So I'm saying of this to say, please, please, please,
if you're feeling lower than normal, you might want to
(15:45):
just get some blood work done.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
To find out what your levels are.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Maybe it's not necessarily depression, it could be some hormonal imbalances. Y'all,
please please, please, please, please please get your blood work done.
Please get your blood work done. I'm a fan of
a company called function Health. Or again, just talk to
(16:13):
your physician about saying, hey, you just want to get
a check up, get some blood work done, get all
your panels, get your cholesterol, your iron, heart, liver, all that.
Just tell them you want about twenty bios of blood
drawn and it shall tell you everything. Ladies, what's your
(16:36):
amh okay, what's your FSH? What's your LSH? If you're
thinking about you know, children, these are all things that
you want to know. Start now, so y'all, yes, it
was not depression. My iron was just low. My farrytone
(16:56):
was just extremely, extremely low. Uh. I was a walking zombie.
So I thank god that he kept me. I thank
god that nothing seriously medically, you know, happened that necessarily
put me in the hospital. So I'm thankful for that.
But yeah, let's get those levels checked because I really
(17:17):
really thought I was in a state of depression. And
again my iron and ferrytine was just low. All right,
I don't mind sharing that with you guys, because maybe
it will help someone else. All Right. I am gearing
up for a gospel concert in Miami that is taking
(17:42):
place this weekend. It's an hour long set along with
Bishop has A Kyawalker and my friends at the Faith Center,
Bishop Joel Tutman, Latasha Tutman and their band and singers.
It's going to be crazy. But y'all, I've just been
doing Death Becomes Her for a year, Okay. I haven't
(18:06):
been on no praise of worship teams at my church.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
It's just so I'm really kind of excited.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
To let loose a little bit. I'm going home, and
when I say home, you already know gospel is my
first love. I'm going home to my first love of
gospel music, and I'm kind of nervous. I was talking
to Jason Bolan because he's gonna help me with my styling,
and I was like, bro, I can't believe I said
(18:34):
yes to this. Why did I say yes? Because I've
been y'all know, I've been kind of teeter titering on
this music thing, on the artist side of things, like
I don't mind a little song here or there, but
performing again as a solo artist. It's kind of like,
(18:58):
I want to do it, but I want to do
it on my terms. If y'all understand what I'm saying,
I don't want to be in the rat race anymore.
Y'all have supported me throughout these years, and I feel
like I feel like I can do it the way
I want to do it. Of course, in the spirit
(19:18):
of excellence. Of course I need distribution. Of course it
needs to be marketed, but I don't I don't I
don't want to necessarily go the traditional route. I don't
think people have to go to the traditional route anymore
as it relates to releasing their music, your artistry, even
just being an entrepreneur. Everything is really direct to consumer nowadays,
(19:44):
So y'all pray for me. I am. I'm excited, but
I'm also very, very nervous. My set list is pretty cool.
My brother, Aaron william is actually going to He's in
the band. He's going to accompany me, which is so
(20:06):
rare because of his own crazy schedule. But I called
him up. I was like, brother, can you please?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Can you please be with me in Miami?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And he said yes. So I feel like I'll have
a protector, I'll have my anchor, and he knows me
so well musically, so I'm really excited about him being there.
My brother. A lot of gospel artists love my brother,
(20:39):
and a lot of them will ask about my brother
before they even ask about me. I e. Fred Hammond,
Ti Trippitt, Jonathan Nelson, the sheard I'm like, hey, I'm
standing here too.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
They'd be like, how is Aaron.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I'm like, I guess I'm just mince meat. But I
love that. Folks love on my brother. He is super,
super talented, such a great heart, and he has been
doing amazing things in the city of Chicago for years.
But he is going to be with his baby sister
in Miami for this performance. Hey, by the way, if
(21:22):
you want to go, if you're in Miami, or even
if you're like, hey, I'm not in Miami, but I'm
gonna come support you. It is at the night Concert
Hall at the Arsched Okay, So I'm really, really, really
excited about this. Hezekiah Walker is joining me, is going
(21:46):
to be absolutely bonkers, all right, So I cannot wait
to see you guys down there. And speaking of gospel music,
there was I was kind of of wondering if I
was going to lend my voice to this because I
didn't want to make it personal because of my experience
(22:10):
in the actual genre, which majority has been great. I've
made some great connections, but then there, you know, have
been some moments where I was like, oh, and I
think that's with any genre, that's with any industry. But
there was an upset about Misscalrilla, who, by the way,
(22:30):
don't mess with nobody. She earned the Doctor Bobby Jones'
Best Gospel Inspirational Award for her song rain Down on Me,
a track that feature Kirk Franklin and Maverick City Music.
By the way, she had two of the heavy hitters
and gospel music right now right, so it was probably
(22:52):
that sometimes when you see a ballot, there are some
people who check off who they know. You know, it
is that as well. But I will just encourage people
if you work in an industry and they're passing.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Out awards, I believe that.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
We're human just kind of like what I share with
y'all about the Tony Awards. You get so excited, and
it was more so the people in my circle hyping
me up about it, right, and then when it doesn't happen,
you're like, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm chilling,
Like again, I feel like I already won. But as
it relates to when you're mute, when you're doing and
(23:42):
there are like again, there are other industries where you
are celebrated. You're celebrated in the medical field. There are
awards that are giving out for things. So let me
streamline it back down to music. You put your best
work out, you know, and then you're just like, oh, man,
(24:05):
I should have been nominated or I should have won,
and so you again, it's it's the human nature of
us that you want to be acknowledged and you want
to be celebrated, but then somehow you have to recalibrate
and ask yourself why am I doing this? And I'll
(24:31):
never forget. I was coming home from a gospel music
award weekend and I remember getting on that airplane crying
because I felt like I was not wanted there. It
was kind of like, literally, like why are you here?
(24:53):
You already have your thing? Go back over there, and
like what people don't And I'm gonna get to the point.
It was like I wanted so many people in gospel
music to know, like, yeah, I'm over here, but I
love this genre too. I love y'all. How can I
bring what I've learned from there? How can I bring
(25:15):
it over here? What resources? What I'm here to serve?
I'm not here to take. I'm literally I'm here to serve,
Like I love this gospel music.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But again, it can't be about that. That's a part
of it.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Wanting to serve great, But if you're only trying to
serve a certain sector of people, that's where you miss
out on. I have to be here to serve the
people that whom God knows who needs what I have.
So I remember crying on that airplane after this gospel
(25:55):
awards situation, and God spoke to me and said, why
are you crying about a box?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I never put you in.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Your gift is not just for this box over here,
because that's a small sector of people. I have called
you to the world. There are people outside of the
gospel music genre who need what you have. Timmy tru
(26:38):
Michelle Williams, Why are you crying about a box? I
never put you in? Y'all? When I tell you, I
wiped my tears so fast, and I was like, oh Lord,
I'm sorry. You're right. I was just playing. I started
looking at my calendar whom maybe my psychle was getting
ready to start. Maybe that's why I'm so emotional. Mm hmmm.
(27:01):
Wipe those tears because it's a possibility your gift goes
beyond a certain group of people. Have you ever thought
about that? We won't belonging so much. Again, that's part
(27:23):
of our conditioning. We want to be accepted, we want
to be affirmed, we want to be acknowledged, and we
want to be awarded. Jonathan mcrenold's posted something and he said,
sometimes the award is basically I'm paraphrasing. You probably didn't
get that statue, but you got peace of mind. You
(27:47):
didn't get that statue, but you have been consistently working
and touring. How many people have awards but don't have
a job. You have the nice plaque on your wall,
you have the nice statue sitting on your display table
or in your display case, but you're not really living
(28:10):
an amazing quality of life because you chased acknowledgment. Y'all,
I want to travel the way I've been traveling. I
want a great quality of life. I want love to
be loved. I want to share it with the people
I love. Okay, so again it goes back to that thing,
(28:34):
you know, with the Tony Awards and not getting that
nomination and death becomes her. We only got one win
out of ten nominations, right, So when you realize you've
already won because you get to do something that you love,
you're making impact. I read every piece of fan mail
(28:56):
that I can and to know that the messages even
go beyond my performance on that stage. Some of those
letters say I'm reading your book, or I have read
your book, I listened to your podcast. One person said,
you let me know that I can have a mental
(29:17):
health issue and still win. So you got to kind
of figure out what do you want. But the first
should always be why do you do what it is
you do? You can sit with that because maybe that'll
(29:37):
help you in your feelings about a particular situation. Why
do I do what I do? Now? Some people, Hey,
my why is some people's wise, I just want to
make a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
That's cool too, that's your why. Well, dude, you got
to do to make a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Wow, don't do everything you gotta do, because that's another
and that's another episode. So when I know that my
why is to positively make impact in the lives of others,
that's my mission statement. Now it is the how, whether
that is through a gospel music performance, whether that is
(30:20):
through my words in an interview, or my words in
a book, my words on a podcast, or the role
that I play in a musical a movie that I
may do next year. Like it, what's the why? Because
the why also helps me in what I say yes
(30:41):
to and what I say no to. If it's gonna
take me out of alignment, answer is probably gonna be no.
But I do filter that through people that I trust.
If I'm having a real hard time making a decision,
I do filter that through people that I trust and
(31:03):
whom I know have my well being in their mind
when they're gonna mentor me or coach me into something.
So I just wanted to share that with y'all. And please, please,
please have an amazing week. I cannot wait to come
(31:27):
back next week to tell y'all how the concert in
Miami went. And I desire your thoughts. Please send up
amazing prayer for me, that people would have an amazing experience,
an amazing encounter. And I want to make you the
(31:51):
hero of my podcast and of this particular episode too.
Is just as far as figuring out your wife and
going out there and doing something with it.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
All right, I will see y'all soon.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I love y'all very much. Checking In with Michelle Williams
(33:39):
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