Resilience: How We Made It Through 2025—and How We Keep Going

As we close out 2025, Michelle takes a powerful pause to reflect on one word that carried so many of us through the year: resilience. In this heartfelt final episode of the year, she unpacks what resilience really means—beyond just “bouncing back”—and how mental, emotional, and spiritual flexibility helped us survive loss, uncertainty, burnout, and unexpected challenges.

From navigating personal health scares and demanding work schedules to processing grief, trauma, and major life transitions, Michelle shares real-life moments that prove resilience isn’t about avoiding pain—it’s about learning how to recover, regulate, and keep moving forward. She explores emotional regulation, self-care, collaboration, asking for help, protecting your heart and mind, and why community is essential for long-term healing.

Whether 2025 was a year of love, loss, or lessons for you, this episode is a reminder: you made it—and your story isn’t over yet. As we step into 2026, Michelle encourages us to stay grounded in purpose, remain flexible with our goals, and continue building the inner strength that got us here.

Thank you for checking in—and for walking this journey together.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Wow, are we really at
the end of this year? Are we really at the
end of twenty twenty five? Hello everybody, and welcome to

(00:23):
the last episode of twenty twenty five. Welcome and thank
you for checking in. Yes, I opened this episode with
the question because I got some questions how did we
get here? I'm going to tell you how we got

(00:48):
here in just a few moments.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
In the ways in which I feel that helped us
navigate and get through twenty twenty five is one word.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
And that is resilience. I have been reading a friend's
book called Rules of Resilience, Ten Ways Successful People Get Better,
Wiser and Stronger by Valerie Burton. She and I were

(01:38):
actually talking today about it and I cannot wait to
bring her to Checking In. It's going to be powerful.
But that's the only word I could think of was resilience,
and well, what is resilience? Resilience is According to to

(02:00):
the American Psychological Association APA dot org, resilience is the
process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging
life experiences, especially through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility and
adjustment to external and internal demands. A number of factors

(02:24):
contribute to how well people adapt to adversities. Predominant among
them the ways A the ways in which individuals view
and engage with the world, B, the availability and equality
of social resources, and C specific coping strategies. Psychological research

(02:47):
demonstrates that the resources and skills associated with more positive adaptation,
for example, greater resilience, can be cultivated and practiced. It's
also called psycho logical resilience. Now, if I just go
to Google, it says, resilience is the ability to bounce back. Okay,

(03:12):
I can imagine if I was in person with a
few people, you probably be like there it is yep,
I can identify. Resilience is the ability to bounce back
from adversity, trauma, or stress, adapting well and even growing
stronger through challenges rather than being overwhelmed by them. It

(03:34):
says it's not an innate trait, but a set of
skills and behaviors like flexible thinking, strong social connections, problem solving,
and emotional regulation that can be learned and developed to
navigate life's hardships, promoting well being and growth. Now of course,

(03:54):
you guys, I had to give y'all the APA Dictionary
of Psychologies definition. Okay, all right, because we are talking about,
you know, something pretty important. According to helpful professor dot Com,

(04:16):
resilience involves maintaining a positive mindset, perseverance, and the ability
to learn and grow from adversity. Resilient individuals display mental
and emotional strength, allowing them to navigate through difficult situations
with determination and resilience. People with resilience may have the

(04:39):
following traits adapt a, debt, adaptability, optimism, self confidence, problem solving, flexibility,
emotional regulation, and determination. So that's kind of across the board.

(05:00):
I've read three definitions from three different sources, and they're
kind of saying the same thing. I'm seeing the word
the statement emotional regulation a lot here, I'm seeing optimism, determination,
and a lot of us probably went through twenty twenty

(05:21):
five not even knowing that you were practicing or building resilience.
We have seen a lot. Even though I called myself
backing away from so much negative news, the amount that

(05:41):
I still wanted to read, just so that I'm not ignorant,
it was a lot. It was a lot thinking of
how certain changes in the administration and in the government would
affect me my household, how it would affect y'all listeners

(06:05):
and supporters, how it's affecting everybody in this country. I
do not care what tax bracket you subscribe to or
what tax bracket you are blessed to be in. Uh
I do think people are making some changes to protect

(06:30):
what you have rightfully earned. Or you were scurrying around
trying to figure out, you know, how to maintain just heck,
what you got. You ain't even trying to get more.
You just trying to stay where you are because where
you are, your head's above water. You're thriving, your bills

(06:51):
are paid, you got enough food. You're probably not going
out to eat as much. You're probably you know, maybe
waiting to a certain item goes on sale. I don't know,
but I would say I believe we got through this
year because of being resilient. I pose the question if

(07:19):
resilient is innate or not, because I do think when
you look down, some of us have us come from
maybe the paternal side of your family you come from
a strong lineage, or the maternal side of your family
is a strong lineage there and a part of me
does wonder if it's innate, But I'm going to get

(07:40):
some experts on the topic to come and share with us.
But just from my own experience of being resilient this year,
actually coming off of a crazy holiday schedule for Christmas,
so you know, the twenty third of December, I'm sick

(08:04):
as a dog. Okay, we did two shows. We were
off Christmas Eve. That's when sickness really got me. I
ended up having to take a Z pack and some
pretnizone and all the things. I don't know what was
trying to overtake me, but I did not feel good.
My throat was on fire, sandpaper filling. Nothing in my

(08:30):
house was working. Nothing, Nothing that I normally take to
soothe the sore throat was working. So I had to
call our ear nose and throat doctor, doctor Pittman, who's amazing.
If you've got some ear nose or throat issues, please
holler at doctor Mark Pittman here in New York City.

(08:51):
He is brilliant. He has also referred me to other
practitioners while I'm here in New York that have been
changing my life. So I'm getting somewhere here. And so
we were off Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, we were off.
Day after Christmas. We come back. We do two shows,
oh Child, two shows Friday, two show Saturday, two shows Sunday.

(09:15):
I'm not saying this as a complaint because this is
the business and the show that I chose to be in, right,
and it was hard work. But if I hadn't, if
I didn't, if I didn't have enough reserve resilience built up, oh,

(09:36):
I know, I'm not saying we wasn't complaining. We complained,
but we still showed up to work. If you're listening,
can you raise your hand and say that's me. You
be complaining on your way to work, but you still
show up because we just be talking. Sometimes we just
be talking, and every now and then the complaint does

(09:59):
turn it to gratitude because you're like, you know, let
me stop complaining so much. I'm actually where I want
to be. I'm actually back in a market that I
never thought i'd be back again, because y'all know, in
twenty eighteen I had to quit a Broadway show because
of my mental health was just in the dumps. But

(10:22):
I really do think getting through a holiday schedule. I
really think some of you getting through a difficult time,
you know, loss of a relative, loss of a job,
loss of a relationship. But you didn't drown, you didn't sink,
you know what I'm saying. You didn't lose it. You

(10:43):
didn't crash out. Because all of that is a sign
that we don't know how to regulate emotions. But if
you got through something and you're still standing, you may
have a broken heart, but you're still standing. You didn't
lose your mind, You're still standing. Kudos and salute to you.

(11:11):
I am really, really, really really happy for you, and
y'all know that I care about y'all so so much
that I just want to congratulate us on getting through
such a year. And you know how we can kind
of take that into twenty twenty six. What are your goals?

(11:39):
But you got lined up, you know. Yeah. I just
wanted to park here on the word resilience for a
while and really reflect and meditate on, you know, how
to continue that path and what we did to get

(12:03):
through again. Like I said, I called myself taking a
step back from social media, from the news, from just
absorbing so much negative information that even the information that

(12:24):
I did take in it was a lot and so
hoping you guys, take some steps to protect your heart,
your eyegates, and your eargates. All of that goes into
your soul. It all goes into your heart, and what
goes in it has to come out. So if you're

(12:45):
wondering why you've been a little snappy lately, you know,
while you've been a little overwhelmed lately, besides things that
are already going on in your home. You can't help
a lot of that stuff. But we can help what
we take from external sources. Right, So I really want

(13:05):
us to lean into that because we want to continue
to be resilient. Some of the benefits you know of resilience.
You know, it does reduce the risk of mental health
issues like depression. You know, it helps you grow. And

(13:29):
the more resilient you are, the more flexible you can
be and you can adjust to changing demands. I think,
you know, being flexible and being able to adjust even
though you don't like it, Like me talking about this
holiday schedule, I wasn't crazy about this schedule. I wasn't
crazy at all. You know, I wasn't able to travel

(13:52):
because I knew that I had to be back for
matinee the day after Christmas. But It's like, you know,
some some stuff we have to know is temporary, and
sometimes being resilient also means I'm just sacrificing a little
bit here. It's a sacrifice to do what you love sometimes,

(14:13):
but it will pay off. I am just so so
so excited about how we got here and we're still standing.
I also love reading where it says resilience isn't about
avoiding pain, but about developing the internal and external resources

(14:35):
to navigate it, recover, and move forward, making it a
critical skill for thriving in a complex world. I love
this it says resilience isn't about avoiding pain. Again. You
can acknowledge you don't like something. You can acknowledge who

(14:58):
this makes me uncomfortable. You can also acknowledge this situation hurts.
I watch so many people talk about the loss of
loved ones during the holidays. A good friend of mine,
Tammy Hadden, you know, lost her father this month. You

(15:18):
know they just buried him literally today, right, we're days
out of Christmas. My own father, you know, he passed
away December twentieth, twenty twenty, right five days before Christmas.
So that is something I will never ever forget again.
It's not about avoiding the painful situation or circumstances, but

(15:42):
again about developing, you know, and recovering resilience. It's just
how well you recover again, it's how well you bounce
back because people are going to people, but at how
well can we recover from it? Our thoughts play a

(16:05):
good part in recovery, acknowledging what we're in, taking accountability.
Maybe I'm not saying all the time, sometimes resilience does
include some accountability, like dang, I jacked up where I
didn't move as quickly on a decision that I should have,

(16:25):
or I procrastinated over here a little bit. So I'm
just it's in no one's judging over here. We don't
judge over here. We support over here at checking in
and again. I love that it's also saying to seek support,
don't hesitate to ask for help. That's ways of building resilience,

(16:50):
develop coping skills, learn to communicate and manage emotions effectively,
and trying to figure out our crash outs. I'm only
calling them crash outs because that's what the younger people
are calling them, the crash outs. You know, is that
a sign of some immaturity in certain areas, or can

(17:13):
the trauma and stress just be so great that sometimes
crashing out is a part of the process letting it
all out. I just hope that letting it all out
isn't unsafe if it's in a household of people you love.

(17:36):
Can you do a singular crash out where you're just
in your car hollering or you're just I don't know,
screaming down the street, But in this era, I don't
know if screaming down the street is even safe. Sometimes
a good scream helps you know. Matter of fact, let

(17:56):
me look up. Are there been a fits benefits to screaming?
This is so funny in real time? I love us
so much. Oh, there is something called scream therapy. Wow,

(18:18):
scream therapy according to When not Where they getting they
information from child According to Woman's Hour on the BBC
dot co dot UK scream therapy. A behavior and data
scientist professor decided to start screaming with her daughters to

(18:41):
help them cope with stresses of lockdown. Interesting it's saying.
It can help you release difficult emotions. It can bring
you a sense of community, It can be empowering, It
can help you find strength, It can release helpful and

(19:01):
not so helpful hormones. So screaming can be a form
of therapy. Again, I'm not saying not to screawl. I'm
just saying, will the crash outs like bring harm to
others or make people in your environment fee feel unsafe?
Like you know, if you're at home with your children
or your partner and friends and then all of a

(19:23):
sudden you just start screaming. Folks might start calling nine
one one again. Heck, you never know, calling nine to
one one in that moment might be necessary because you
might get the help you need. Look at me going
down a rabbit hole, because if you know, if you're
screaming from a crash out, that could obviously that could
signal actual help that you need from a professional, right,

(19:45):
you know, going to a hospital, getting regulated, maybe even
getting some fluids, and then getting to a therapist. I'm
really just I'm just on this kick about resilient and
steps to take to continue to be resilient. Going into

(20:10):
twenty twenty six, everybody's you know, we're talking about our
goals or vision boards and all the things. And I remember,
maybe was it twenty twenty or twenty twenty one? I
was feeling so discouraged, and it was only January of

(20:31):
that particular year. Because sometimes people can make you feel
like New Year knew me. And if you ain't killing
it in January, I'm not saying to procrastinate and just
take twelve months, you know, to do something that you
really could do in a day. I'm not saying that,

(20:54):
but moving at a pace where you're still getting to
your goal, but you're also not killing yourself again. I
don't want to kill the resilience that you built up.
I'm not gonna do it right, and I'm just so
excited about the goals that we are going to make

(21:18):
and even adapting and adjusting sometimes resilience, it also looks like, man,
there was a delay in me achieving this goal. I'm
going to adjust or I'm going to be flexible and
change the way that I approach or execute something. Just
so you know that that's okay too. Self care what

(21:45):
is self care? Self care looks different for so many people.
Self care goes beyond a spy day, okay, But self
care is intentionally taking actions to support your physical, mental, emotional,
and spiritual wellbeing, encompassing daily habits like healthy eating and sleep,

(22:11):
stress management techniques like exercise, mindfulness, hobbies, setting boundaries, say
no again. I love that all of these sites are
talking about seeking professional help when needed, all to promote
overall health, prevent burnout, and manage life's challenges actively. Managing

(22:33):
life's challenges actively is also a form of resilience. Moving
your body we got to move, got to move, got
to move your body sleep and I know some of
us can have certain even mental health issues. Maybe it's

(22:55):
messing with your sleep. I know. I love magnesium or
CBD oil. Plug out to Lazarus naturals CBD oil. Don't
be going to the gas station to get your CBD okay?
You want to go to a place where it's actually farmed,
like it's you. I don't know what's in that gas

(23:17):
station cbd okay, Eating good foods, taking breaks, connecting with others,
spending quality time with loved ones, or join a community.
Self care. I did not play about my self care.
I actually ramped it up. I ramped up my self

(23:38):
care this year. Resilience Can it also mean collaborating with others?
Can resilience also look like collaborating with others? That is
an amazing question. I loved collaborating with others this year,

(24:00):
helping me do things that I couldn't do on my own.
Resilience and collaboration are deeply linked. They are definitely deeply linked.
Working together allows individuals, teams, and communities to better adapt
to and recover from shocks like disasters or crisis by

(24:24):
pooling diverse expertise, resources, and perspectives, fostering shared understanding. I
love us so much. Collaboration can help so much. Asking questions.
Nothing is wrong with asking questions, nothing is wrong with

(24:46):
getting help. We gotta put that pride aside. Like I
said in a few episodes back about working with your
dope friends. You got some dope friends, you better work
with them. Call them up, call them up, tell them
what you want. You know what I'm saying, Yeah, I

(25:13):
m hmmm. We're not gonna be burning out next year
because of pride. We're going to continue to be resilient.
We're gonna continue to just pray and really hone in

(25:35):
and center on purpose. I'm so excited about the new year.
I'm so excited about the new year. I'm so excited.
I'm so thankful for people's support, and I think sometimes
having support can also help with resilience. That's why you've

(25:57):
got to foster amazing community. And to those of you
saying I don't have community or the community that I
thought I had betrayed me, I am sorry. My prayer
is that in twenty twenty six that people that you

(26:17):
need appear, that you learn to discern who they are
because they're there and they will come it feels good,
or somebody might be saying, well, it's easy for you

(26:40):
to be resilient. You've got support again if you feel
like you don't have it, I believe in twenty twenty six,
at least one person is going to come your way
that's going to shift your life. Don't push them away,
because I know trauma can make us push help away,

(27:05):
push love away, push support away. Somebody that you can
just laugh with and hang with and bounce ideas off.
I understand because when you've been through trauma, it affects
your trust. It affects trust. I hope twenty twenty six

(27:29):
is the year that I get an assistant. Now I
got again trauma that I've had in the past to
have I've had trust issues, but it's time to let
go of those trust issues because resilience and collaboration are
deeply linked. We got too much stuff to do, y'all

(27:58):
to be out here willy nearly to be out here alone.
We got this. We can really really do it, all right,
So I believe I'm looking at my notes here and
we really made it through. We really got through the

(28:20):
year twenty twenty five. I pray that for many people
it was a year of love. For some people it
was a year of loss. Regardless of where you stand,
you made it. That means it's not over. Your story

(28:43):
is still being written, and there is purpose for you
here on this earth, and the earth can still be
beautiful regardless of what's going on. Again, we're not ignoring
the ugliness out here, but let's be aged of change
for the new year. Let's be agents of change. Go

(29:06):
out here, get it. I pray away all distractions that
come in the form of somebody looking fine. I come.
I pray against distractions that come in the form of

(29:28):
amazing opportunities. And how do you know it's a distraction?
Does the opportunity take you off your path of purpose? Okay,
that's a whole other podcast. So yeah, I love y'all.
Thank y'all for making twenty twenty fine for this podcast amazing.

(29:54):
Thank you for making my individually and career wise beautiful
and lovely. Thank you for the acknowledgment. Thank you for
the flowers. Y'all loved on me so much this year.
Y'all loved on me big, and I really, really, really
really appreciate that. So until next year, know that I

(30:20):
love y'all so much. You are appreciated. Thank you for
continuing to download my podcast, and thank you so much
for sharing it with others. I'll see y'all in the
new year. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production
of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

(30:40):
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.