Take Your Days: Checking In w/ Job Burnout

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Piece of the plant, charlamagnea God. Here.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Before we get into today's episode, we've got to celebrate
the Black Effect podcast network. It's turning five years old, man,
five years of powerful voices, unforgettable moments in the community
that keeps growing.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
This is the power of the platform. Now let's get
into it. Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a
production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Are you familiar
with what burnout feels like? I am, and I'm gonna

(00:34):
tell you how I dealt with burnout. Check out this
new episode of Checking In? Hey, what's up to my
Checking in family? How are y'all doing? How are y'all
embracing this new month, the month of September, the month
that lets us know, Yes, finna get colder. Here, y'all

(00:57):
already know how I feel based on my last episode
and something that I posted on Instagram with my friend
Justin Foster about how who grieving summer being over? I
almost set the loss of summer, but I can't call

(01:19):
it a loss because next year summer will return. So
I'm just gonna say I'm grieving the fact that summer
is over, and I want to really seriously encourage y'all.
It's okay to grieve that something is over. It's okay
to grieve that your favorite series on your favorite streaming

(01:43):
platform is over. But it'd be bad. Like I'm so
excited that Reasonable Doubt is coming back, you know what
I'm saying. I'm really excited, like it's on the way.
But could you imagine being grieved that it never returned.
So I'm not grieving that, you know, summer is lost.

(02:05):
I'm grieving that it's over. So thank y'all for your
messages and your phone calls, your texts to encourage me
that I'm gonna get through it. I'm gonna get through it. Okay, Okay, okay, okay, okay. Gay.
I get excited about these solo episodes and how y'all

(02:29):
are responding to them. Yes, I do have some guests
coming that I'm excited about, but especially September being the
month of suicide awareness prevention, I figured that too, I
could dedicate a few of these episodes to just speak
from the heart. Today we'll talk about what burnout is

(02:54):
and how you can prevent burnout, and you're probably like,
what is burnout? I will definitely share that with you
so that's what kind of inspired this message. I know,
I went live about a week or so ago from
my dressing room at death becomes her and by that

(03:18):
point this episode is going to make sense. Burnout is
a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by
a prolonged or excess of stress. It is characterized by
feelings of depletion, cynicism, and reduced effectiveness. So, according to

(03:46):
MAO Clinic Symptoms to find out if you have job
burnout or the causes there, it's before you know it,
you're like, why am I feeling this way? Why I
am I'm feeling like I don't want to be at
my job, I don't want to be around people. And
you start, instead of being grateful, you start being a

(04:11):
cynic you know, And so a lot of people feel
like sometimes you're ready to check out of this earth,
when no, you just need to go check in to
a hotel room and get room service all day, and
that is oh okay. Burnout is crazy. According to Male Clinic,

(04:36):
it's not a medical diagnosis. Some experts think that other conditions,
such as depression, are behind burnout. Burnout can raise the
risk of depression, but depression and burnout are different and
they need different treatment. So you know, just me, I

(04:57):
can share personally, I started to say two things are
true at once. I am tired, but I'm grateful. And
I would always say grateful because I never want to
come across to if it's somebody that I'm confiding in,

(05:19):
because some people can from the outside looking in, they
can see what I do and what I have. Curl.
That's a blessing, y'all. It is a blessing. But sometimes
blessings come with a cost. My cost is chronic it
band issues. Walking across stages every night, eight shows a

(05:43):
week in heels can be a bit, you know, stressful
on my ligaments and my muscles and my bones. Again,
not complaining because these are just facts. So that is
why I'm stretching. Massages and physical therapy that the show
provides to try to keep everybody in their best condition

(06:07):
is absolutely amazing. Over Labor Day weekend, I took some
days off and it was so funny because I'm laughing
thinking about it. How people you know at the show
were like, Michelle, girl, you have vacation days, you're not
using them. Use your vacation days. Go on vacation, take

(06:33):
a break, and I'm just like, no, I love the
show so much. I'm having a good time. I'm okay
and lan yea. And here I am noticing that folks,
everyone else they're taking their vacation days like full eight

(06:54):
show performances. They're gone for those eight shows, like they're
retreating somewhere. They're getting their vitality back, they're getting their
strength back, they're breathing. They they're able to possibly drink
and eat what they want. Okay, But here I am no.

(07:17):
And one of the reasons is because actually a couple
of weeks ago, I was out of the show because
I did a strain on my muscle in my back
and it was painful. It was so painful. Let me
tell you why. Working out and I was like, ooh,

(07:40):
I want to add more weight. I want to see
some more gains. Child went to do a leg press
and my back said, no, ma'am, that's it. Just I
didn't trust the process. So I tried to add more
weight to like I got this again. My back said no, ma'am.

(08:07):
So I was out, and I just remember reading some
messages on social media and a guy was like, where
were you? I bought tickets for my wife, and she's
so upset, We're so disappointed. I don't like messages like that,
you know, especially when it's a blessing. And again, this

(08:28):
blessing comes with a cost, and the cost being sometimes
when you're not there, people are upset and they're disappointed.
And I know some of y'all might be saying, Michelle,
that's a good problem to have now when you're the
person who has to take the slap on the cheek
of not being there. I don't like disappointing anyone, you know,

(08:50):
And that's the reason, you know, to have an understudy.
But I grew up in an era where we didn't
have understudies. Of being a say, you ain't got no understudy.
Do y'all think that time when Kelly broke her toe
and she had to sit on a stool, Well she
kind of did have an understudy when Solange kind of

(09:12):
stepped in and danced for her. But Kelly did sit
on that stew, honey, and she sang and she did
hand choreography. Can you imagine when Beyonce is ill on
tour and I know of moment when she was really,
really really sick, but went out there anyway, there are
no understudies. We didn't grow up with understudies. Even you,

(09:35):
when you go to work in the morning, you don't
have no understudy. What if you are a stay at
home mom or dad, you don't have no understudy. Well
I don't know. I say grandparents are understudies, okay, but
a lot of people do not have somebody that can

(09:59):
stand in your place when you're sick, when you're injured,
you know what I'm saying. So even though I know
I have an understudy that can be there, I have two.
Actually that is a blessing that can be there when
I'm not able to. But I don't like missing a show.
So for the Labor Day weekend, I took some time off,

(10:22):
and leading to that time off, I could see why. Also,
I was also having little other injuries and feeling sick
because I had not taken any vacation days, you know
what I'm saying, And so I wanted to split my
vacation days up, which I probably should have just taken

(10:44):
that whole block of time off. So this past weekend,
for Labor Day weekend, I went to Chicago and I
threw my brother a fiftieth birthday party, and it wasn't
work for me because I entrusted the decor and the

(11:05):
catering and the venue two trusted people and vendors. All
I had to do was show up, walk in the
room and say, Wow, this looks amazing. Because that was
the thing I took time off to rest. My brother
is a joy of my life. I know. For his

(11:25):
birthday speech, he told people that I was his ride
or die while I'm at the age where I'm your
ride and live. Shout out to someone on Facebook who
told me that, no, you're his ride and live. So
my brother I would do anything for him. I told
people that when girls would call the house and want

(11:47):
to talk to my brother, I would lie and tell
them he's not home or that I was on the
other line, because I was like some of these hefis
you ain't good enough for my big brother. Well, I
definitely did what they call I guess it's called cock blocking.
Little sisters are good for that. Okay, So we did

(12:10):
an intimate family affair. It was just it was really
really amazing. The food was delicious, the cake was delicious,
the decor was great. But most of all, my brother
was just so overjoyed, so pleased. He's so deserving. He
asks for nothing, and I was like, my brother is
deserving of an amazing birthday party for his fiftieth birthday.

(12:36):
Then I went to La was able to spend some
time with Kelly and some other friends of mine. Bee
is trotting away somewhere on her annual boat tour, so
I was not able to see her. Y'all know, her

(12:58):
birthday just passed, but I was excited to definitely get
out to La, rest, eat good food. I went to
go see Prince Sign of the Times. It's in theaters.
I don't know if it's just for a limited time,
but I went to go see it. It was amazing.
I saw that. I think that came out in like

(13:20):
nineteen eighty nine. Me and my family, we used to
wear that VHS tape out. It's based off of the
album Sign of the Times. Prince basically kind of where
we get visuals today. What Prince did is practically like
it's a visual of music of Sign of the Times

(13:43):
and that movie. I felt like I was Sheila E.
I felt like I could be Sheila E. I wanted
to play the drums like Shila E. She was sexyed,
she had the red lips, her body was bodying, she
had wild wavy hair. Oh I wanted to be she

(14:03):
lay so bad. But my brother ended up being the drummer,
the bass player, the keyboard player, and I'm just a singer.
But that was fun. And then I celebrated my good sister,
Tara Jenkins, who was on a prior episode of Checking
In Doctor Tara Jenkins, my sister of twenty five years.

(14:28):
They had a surprise birthday for her, and so I
was like, I had already rsvp's and I was like,
I better get out on the West Coast because what
I didn't want to do. I didn't want to fly
there just for the day, so I said, no, let
me spend my days off on the West Coast since
I've got to be there anyway. Her birthday was on
a Monday, so it was on it was on a

(14:50):
day off. I didn't miss a show, So I don't
know why I have an issue with Missy shows. So
going back to what I was saying about taking your
vacation days, I'm on calendar dot Com and it's talking

(15:14):
about why Americans don't take their vacations. I know in Europe,
I hear a lot of people. I've heard people say, oh,
I'm going on holiday. Okay, well what is what is
apple black holiday? So the meaning of holiday, let's get it,

(15:37):
because you all know I like to be factual. The
term holiday is often used to mean a period of
time taking off for leisure and travel. Now America, in
America we say vacation. But most of the time in Europe,
particularly particularly in the UK. This that's where I heard
it the most, is people say I'm going on holiday,

(15:59):
They just either're going on vacation. So to answer, why
don't American Why don't Americans take their vacation days? Work culture,
fear of losing jobs, limited vacation days, This is crazy.
Many European countries mandate paid vacation days, the US does not. Also,

(16:21):
finances can deter people from taking vacations. So I just
wanted to encourage y'all. Like those few days that I
was off, I came back to the show that Tuesday night,
and when I tell you, I ran through those eight shows.

(16:42):
I felt rested, I felt revitalized, I felt excited to
be back. Because they when this thing says burnout can
lead to cynicism, y'all this is so funny. I would
be like, I need the conductor to con duck this
show at one hundred beats permitted faster. I'm ready to

(17:05):
go home. I'm tired. How many of us are doing
that because we haven't had a break. Even though you
are killing it and you're being productive at work. Your
reviews are good, your boss loves you, your colleagues are
and love you, love you, your kids love you. You're

(17:26):
being an amazing parent, wife, husband, partner. You're killing it,
but you're killing yourself and things that burnout can lead
to some of the symptoms if it says answer these questions,

(17:49):
as according to Mayo Clinic, do you value do you
question the value of your work? Do you drag yourself
to work and have trouble getting started? Have you lost
patience with cus co workers, customers, or clients? Do you
like the energy to do your job well? I want
to add, do you feel like are you just floating
through you now? You're just on autopilot, like it's one

(18:11):
thing for me. I feel like I'm on autopilot with
the show, like it's muscle memory at this point. But
sometimes you can get to the point where you're just
going with the motions. You're not putting no heart into it.
You're just like, I'm gonna do what this textbook say.
I'm gonna do what this script say. I'm not adding
nothing more to it. I'm just gonna do what I

(18:33):
got to do. Okay? Have your sleep habits changed? Do
you have headache, stomach or biwel problems? Are you using food, drugs,
or alcohol to feel better or to numb? How you
feel okay? What are some of the causes of job burnout?
Lack of control not having to say in how you

(18:55):
do your job, such as your schedule, assignments, or workload,
lack of clarity about what's expected of you, conflicts with others,
too much or too little to do, lack of support,
or problems with work life balance, meaning maybe your work
takes up so much of your time and energy that
you have nothing left for family or friends. The lack

(19:18):
of balance can lead to job burnout. So what are
some of the things that you can do to handle
burn out? Seek support, try or relaxing activity, get some exercise,
get some sleep, practice mindfulness, look at your options. But
some of y'all are saying it's not that easy. The
point of this episode today was for me to tell you, literally,

(19:41):
I would call this episode take your days. I'm looking
A friend of mine sent me a message. I was
looking at it the other day and actually two people
being my brother as well, they were sharing with me

(20:04):
how much vacation time that they have that they have
not taken. People have hours and days, hours and hours
and hours of vacation time to take. Am I what
are you waiting on now, especially when finances can be
an issue. Everybody just came up and take a jet

(20:26):
to holiday. But don't bump bump. Okay. I'm not saying
that you have to take a vacation that will end
up being a financial burden later. I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying max out your credit card. I'm not
saying going to debt. I'm not saying do something you

(20:50):
got to file for bankruptcy later because you went to
a Dominican republic. I'm not saying that. What about a
staycation at a hotel slash resort for the week or
for a night or two, going to a local museum
or parks that you've never visited, or stay at home.

(21:11):
Nothing is wrong with the staycation at home one of
the dancers. The first vacation he took, he's in death.
That's in death becomes sir. His first break, he stayed
home in New York City and then recently went on
actually went on vacation somewhere. You know what I'm saying,

(21:34):
So you can mix it up. I'm just advocating that
you don't like I'm advocating for your mental health, for
your well being, Michelle. I don't have the funds. I
don't have anyone to take my children for the weekend.
I don't have the support. All I'm saying, I'm not

(21:58):
in your shoes, just like you aren't in my And
thank y'all for having empathy with one another and myself.
I get it, I get it. I hear what you
are saying. But if you don't take half a day
while your kids is in school, from a time you

(22:21):
drop them off to the time they come home, maybe
you're just taking a nap. Don't worry about the dishes
in the sink. Me, I'd be like, the crazy thing
is when I'd be trying to rest, I'd be like,
I need to get them. I need to clean my
bathroom mirror. Oh, I need to think about what I'm

(22:42):
gonna put in a crock pot tomorrow, y'all. I tried
collar greens and a crock pot busting. They were so good.
See see where I just went down a rabbit hole.
Can't even focus on this episode my greedy self. So

(23:04):
take take your days. I just want to encourage you
to take your days, because people are tired, and when
you're tired, you're irritable. I started having to look at
my calendar as well. It's like, am I is? Am
I fin to start my period? Like what in the
world is going on? Brain fog and just just wires crossed,

(23:31):
Like yo, I need a break. I need a break.
So I love that this is also saying take breaks
throughout the day, you know, and how burnout can affect anyone,
regardless of age, gender, or occupation like crazy crazy crazy

(23:54):
crazy crazy crazy. So I just want to encourage y'all
because I need you here. I need you here for
a long time, constantly feeling swamped. You know, It's just
it does not feel good taking on responsibilities that aren't yours.

(24:23):
You need boundaries, sugar, You got your own responsibilities, and
here you done took on somebody else's m nude. Burnout
makes you more vulnerable to illness. Remember I was telling
y'all how under the weather I was. This is according
to WebMD dot com crazy. There are all types of burnout.

(24:49):
There are stages of burnout. I've learned so much and
just like YO, take that time off. And some of
us we ain't sixteen, no more so the older we get,
our bodies need time to like recover. We need time.
We need time. We need time. We need time. All right, y'all,

(25:14):
always know that I want you to have the support
that you need. I hope that you have a counselor
and or a therapist or a friend that you can
safely vent to. I just want you to take care
of yourself. I think taking this time out and then

(25:35):
how I felt when I returned. My body needed that, y'all.
I was killing my vocals, was butter you hear me? Like,
imagine you take some time off and you come back
to where you're glowing, You got energy, you offering people
coffee and stuff, all because you took a nap. Okay,

(26:01):
all right, y'all know I love y'all, and I just
I want you to be well. I want you to
be well. So this was on my heart. This was
on my heart again. September is Suicide Awareness Prevention month.
And sometimes the people die by suicide too because they're tired,

(26:25):
and they're tired of feeling neglected, and sometimes it's a
possibility that they have neglected their own emotions, they've abandoned themselves.
So I need you here, and I know y'all want
me here, and I'm gonna be here. You know why,
because I've learned to take my vacation days. Okay again,

(26:47):
I really hope that you can get some support that
you Your job prayerfully supports you taking a day or
two off. I promise you, it does not mean you're
not productive. I promise you, it doesn't mean you're not
a responsible adult if you take some time out for yourself.

(27:10):
Thank you so much for tuning in to this quite vulnerable,
quite personal episode. Recalling this episode, take your days, be well. Everybody,
remember to take your days. If you or someone you

(27:36):
love is thinking about suicide, or you're worried about a
friend or a loved one and you'd like some emotional support,
I want you to know that the Lifeline network is
available twenty four seven across the United States, so please
call or chat the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at one

(27:59):
eight hundred two seven three A two five five.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Thanks for listening and celebrating five years of the Black
Effect podcast network with us. Keep following because the next
five years are about to be even bigger.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Checking with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeartRadio and
The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.