December 23, 2024 • 23 mins
This special Best Of edition episode features some our favorite moments from the season! If you missed one of these episodes, this might be your second chance to listen!
Clip 1 Episode Title: Checking In w/ Sunny Hostin
Clip 2 Episode Title: Checking In w/ Kalen Allen
Clip 3 Episode Title: Checking In w/ Devi Brown
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Peaks of the planet, charlamagnea god here, and as we
come close to the closing out this year, I just
want to say thank you for tuning it into the
Black Effect podcast network. There have been so many great
moments over the past year. Take a listen to some
of those captivating moments in this special best of episode.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She is a three time Emmy Award winning co host
of ABC's The View. New York Times best selling author.
I fell in love with her first ball because she
is an attorney, a legal analyst, as well as a
sought after speaker. Y'all already know. Y'all know who it is. Please,
Sonny Houstin.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Oh, thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Wow. You know, I remember the first time we met.
I mean I had watched you perform, of course, but
I remember the first time we met. We were you
were walking out of a Japanese restaurant and I was
walking into a Japanese restaurant and you were like, Sonny
Haustin and I was like, I know, Michelle.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Williams does not know who I am.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
So it was great and it's been great to keep
in touch since then.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yes, ma'am, it has been great.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It has just been awesome over the years, because.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
You know, I am a bootleg attorney.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
My college was criminal justice, so I would stay tuned
and peeled into cases that made like mainstream television. And
what inspired me so much was to see women of
color bringing it as it related to the legal parts
of all these cases that were going on.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I mean, killing it sure confident.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
There are times where you had to set people in
their place, or there are times you have to be like, no,
the person did it, how did y'all not see it?
How do they see it? So I'm just appreciative of you.
I'm appreciative you've been what ten seasons or more on
the View?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I was just reminded of that.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Have some one on the View I had said during
an interview six years and she was like, no, you
started guest hosting with us in twenty twelve, and I
was like what She was like, yep, Barbara got you
into the rotation in twenty twelve, and so I was
a guest co host for a lot, like half the
(02:20):
shows in a year, and then I've been on the
show formally as a full time co host since for
seven years.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It went by really quickly, doesn't it go? By quickly. Yeah,
and it's like.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
I started guest co hosting, but at the time I
was working at CNN, so it was, you know, they
wanted me to start at the View, but I really
couldn't because I had a contract and CNN at the
time was like, no, you can't get out of your contract,
which in a way was a good thing for me
because I was reporting out in the field. I was
(02:55):
doing the things that you were just talking about. You know,
I was covering the Trade bon Martin trial, well, the
George Zimmerman traum, but the Trayvon's murder. And I was,
you know, covering Casey Anthony who murdered, in my opinion,
her you know, her baby, And so I was. I
was in the thick of a lot of heavy stuff
that was really important to me. And so in a
(03:18):
way it was great to be able to do that
that heavy lifting and give voice to our community and
then get on the View and have a little bit
of fun.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
So it was a good balance. Got it.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The foundation of checking in is mental health. It just
mentioned that, you know, you had to cover some heavy cases. Yeah, okay,
I named all these brilliant things that you do, but
some of the most brilliant things that you are is
a wife and mother. Yes, say someone's daughter, someone's friend.
(03:54):
How were you able to handle all of these heavy
moments as far as your mental health is concerned.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Learned? You know, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I'm learning how to handle it better. I am someone
who tended to internalize things. You know, I was the
calm in the storm. I had a pretty chaotic upbringing
because I grew up in the South Bronx projects and
I saw a lot of violence and addiction, and so
I was always the kid with the book that was
(04:24):
looking for an escape from my surroundings. And it kind
of grounded me. And my faith grounded me. You know,
I'm Catholic, went to Catholic schools. I had a really
good friendship with a nun believe it or not, sister,
and she passed a couple of years ago, and I
still to this day have a really good friendship with
two priests, Father Edward Beck and Father Bob, and so
(04:47):
I was.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Able to turn to them.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I didn't turn to a traditional therapists, but I turned
to them for a guidance, you know, like faith guidance,
Like how do I do this? Especially when I was
covering a lot of the heavy stuff, and it's hard,
I will say, not only covering those issues, but covering
them as a public figure, and it's especially hard.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
On your family.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
And you don't think about that, or at least I
didn't think about that when I first started. I just
want to tell people stories. I just want to make
sure people knew about Trayvon. I wanted to make sure
you know that people knew about George Floyd. I just
it was important to me that people knew about what
was going on community. I prosecuted child sex crimes and trafficking.
That was the business that I was in when I
was a prosecutor, and I pretty much put myself last
(05:39):
all the time. I wanted to make sure my daughter
was okay, my son was okay, my husband was okay,
and I was doing the work. But I wasn't as
concerned about myself. And I would say within the past
five years, especially with the help of Joy Behar and
Whoopee and my co hosts asking me, are you and
(06:01):
I started kind of taking stock in that and I
was like, some days I'm great, but sometimes I'm actually
not okay, And it's okay to say I'm not Okay,
it's okay to say I.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Think I'm gonna have to take a mental health day
off today because I need to.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You know, I live on kind of a modified farm,
so I'm like, I need to go out with my chickens,
I need to tend to my beehives. I need to
be with my two hundred and fifty pounds New Finland dogs.
I need to just spend some time for me. And
that's been extremely helpful. But it took me a minute
to understand what self care meant and how if I
(06:42):
am not good and centered mentally, that I am not
good and centered for anybody else.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
His authenticity is what won the hearts of millions, went
on to work with and have his own show through
Ellen DeGeneres, and is now transitioning and doing so many
great things. He is someone's friend. He is someone's son.
(07:16):
To us, we love him. He is Kaylin Allen. Have
you heard Tapitha Brown's story, Yes, kind of the same
thing where she says she heard a voice say, get
your phone, use your phone, and to see what you
two have done just by the power of making good
(07:38):
use out of the phone, bringing joy to people's hearts.
Because people use their phones for evil. I'm just gonna
say it, but y'all, you use your phone to make us?
Did you know you were you trying to make us laugh?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
And you know what's so funny about that. And I
tell people this all the time is that I'm not
a comedian. And it's like, I just know I'm a
comedic entertainer. I know comedy. I just know what's funny.
And it's really a lot of times it's just how
I talk. It's just how I express myself. It's just
who I am, you know. So it's just like I
don't see it as I'm sitting down, like writing down
(08:16):
a joke or something like that.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It's just like every now.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
And to be honest, even the way that I make
content now, it's all off a feeling. I don't believe
in making content. Just to say that i'd have made
some content or whatever, I have to feel it. So
for instance, like the other day, I was at the
grocery store and these two boys call me sir, and
so then something in my spirit was like this would
be a funny video. So I went home. I was like,
(08:39):
I already know what I want to say, I know
how I want to say, I'm a pressure record and
I'm gonna talk to this phone for a minute and
thirty seconds, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
And what I realized after.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
That video is that I think because because it is
so natural to me, I think it becomes so believable
that people think that I actually really care about it.
If that makes of being like and I'm like, I
don't really care that these boys call me sir, Like
that's not that is not keeping me up at night,
you know what I mean. But it's like it's a
(09:09):
part of the comedy, is a part of the hysteria
of it Allfore.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I love it. I have those moments and where I
should press for corpor then I'm self conscious, like, well,
you don't have no makeup. You gotta do this, you
gotta do that, don't be coming on looking busted. So
a lot of my thoughts just stay thoughts. But I'm
going to try to do some more natural moments of
(09:35):
you know, spontaneous filming.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Now, where do you feel like that self consciousness comes from?
Where does it stem from?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
So this could you interview with me?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I can't help so, Okay, I know where it comes from.
It comes from always being known or seen as glamour,
hair and makeup always done, and it's like I should
at least have on some lipsticks. Okay, I'm not saying
one that comes on natural with no makeup done or
no hair. I'm not saying that they're wrong, but it's
(10:12):
just like if I don't, will it be like, ooh,
what's she going through today summer? Okay, I don't know,
but that's me overthinking assuming what people are thinking, and
they're probably not. They probably don't care.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Well, I would say that the flip is.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I think it's also the fact of like you, being
in the industry at a time before social media, but
at the level that you were doing it as well.
I can understand why you would have that perspective, and
I think the industry has changed so much in today's
day and age.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
It's that it's two different times, you know what I mean.
So I don't think it has anything to do with
you overthinking at all. I think it's you thinking in
what you're used to and what it used to be,
you know what I mean, which that I can understand.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And this has been your ask, doctor kaylen Hermett, because
thank you, though you are so right, you're spot on.
That's why I was sitting in the spirit of hush,
because I was like, Caitlen is actually spot on. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I just try to add perspective to stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
You know.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I think I'm very especially so. And I don't know
if I've even told you this before. Is that I
plan on when this is, you know, when I decide
I want to retire and I want to like, you know,
sit down or somewhere. I plan to become a therapist too,
specifically to people that work in the industry, because in
my experience in going to therapy, therapists could only understand
(11:40):
the everyday stuff, but when it came to industry stuff,
they had no idea of how to help me, and
a lot of especially in earlier that was a lot
of my issues. We're rooted in navigating the industry, and
it was just like, well, who am I supposed to
talk to?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You know what I mean? So I want to be
able to be that resource to people.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So you think we should go to school together and
open up a practice.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Come on, let's go, we should let's go. I like that.
Let's go. I like that. Go okay, I'll let you
get back to the interviewer.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, no, we no, because it's going to flow.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Ince a half of.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Eighty percent of what we're talking about ain't even you
right about it? So you did a reaction video.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Now wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Were people that you did reaction videos to did they
actually get offended?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Some?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
Some at first? But it was never like a big thing.
But I do remember. I think there was at some
point when the videos would be, you know, featured on
Kaitlin or on Ellen, that people would be like, well,
we need to cut, you know, like because it was like.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
A cut of the revenue.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You know, no, no, you ain't need what you cook
needed to be cut?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Okay, exactly exactly, they were right, it needed to be cut.
Exactly cut the video.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
But the fun you think about that is that technically
it's a parody, you know, because it's like a commentary
or whatever. But you know, when you when you're dealing
with something that was getting that many views. I think
once I left Ellen on Kaitlin itself had already done
over a billion views in itself, So it's like when
you have stuff with that magnitude, of course, people want
to you know, cash in or get a cut of
(13:21):
the check or whatever. I didn't really care about that
because I don't that's not why I make stuff. But yeah, no,
I think what was also crazy about it was just
that then, And this is why I stopped doing them,
was because I noticed that people were just making videos
to that were just nasty. And I think for me,
everything is about authenticity, you know. And so I was like,
(13:43):
I would watch a video and I'd be like, that's
not real, you know, and me talking about like how
I'm not a comedian. It's like, I'm not about to
sit here and just write a couple of jokes to
try and make this funny, you know what I mean.
It's like I don't ever want to be a character
or or for it to feel inauthentic. So I was
just like, so I just won't do it that much.
I'll just find something else to do, you know what
(14:04):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I'm still stuck on because we saw the videos and
then wow, I'm just tripping, Like you said, it was
only three months later that Ellen DeGeneres calls you and
then you literally saunter and Sashet and strut out on
that show and you sit down and you cross your
legs and you're sitting with Ellen Degenerous.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
This is what twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen. So I take
the first episode December of twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And so what was that like, you get the phone
call to go out there? What?
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Well, it was a whirlwind. Kansas born, very much, so,
very much. So it was a whirlwind, you know. I
So my first idea was that I was going to
show up. They was gonna give me a cute little
shutterfly check and I was gonna go buy my bas
like That's what I thought it was gonna be. And
then I wasn't expecting to be offered the job. And
(15:04):
so when I was off at the job, I said
yes on the show. I remember I left there. I
was staying at the Hilton in Universal City.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
So I was at the Hilton, and I remember the
next day. I think my flight may have been in
the evening or something. I was like, Okay, well I'm
gonna get up go to Universal Studios. I ain't never been,
you know, I'm gonna go buy myself and go have
hun and I member I got to university and I
called up at that time my acting teacher at Temple.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I said this is the deal. I was offered a job.
I need to move to LA.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
The original contract did not say I needed to move
to LA, but I knew that if I moved to LA,
then I would be you used more. They would use
me more because I was there. I was more convenient,
they didn't have to pay for travel and stuff like that.
And so I was like, we need to figure out
how I can finish my degrees in LA and with
this move needs to happen asap. So I flew back
(15:56):
to Temple, packed up all my stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
We figured it out.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I did claims at night while I was at Ellen,
and then I moved to Los Angeles. But I will
say that it was very scary at first, and to
be honest, it's probably one of my most depressive moments
of my life. And the reason is is because I
was thrown into something with little to no guidance as
so far as how it operated and how it worked,
(16:21):
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Also, and when I got.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
The job, I was working five jobs in college like
I was used to, you know, working, working, working BBB,
and now my only job is the Ellen Degenerate Show.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
But this is before on Kaitln.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
This is before regular appearances, so it's just like an
every down. And then so I'm just sitting in the apartment,
Like I'm just sitting in my apartment watching TV all day.
It was driving me insane. I was like, I'm so bored.
I was in like a furnished apartment, so it really
wasn't mine. So the apartment was just like there and
it was dark. There wasn't a lot of sunlight. I
(16:55):
was like, I can't do this. This is sad. I
don't like it. So then that was when I asked
for an office at Warner Brothers, because I was like,
give me purpose, give me somewhere I can go, you know.
And then I think that that was really why then
everything else started to happen. Was because I was very
hands on, and you know me, I'm a very vocal person.
(17:16):
I am very like all toesy in you know what
I mean. So that's just who I am.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I'm so thankful that y'all continue to check in and
subscribe and download our podcast. Now today, I'm so excited.
I've said that word about three times already in the
span of one minute to have this beautiful guest checking
in with us. Her name is Deabbie Brown. When I
(17:50):
tell y'all, she is so soothing. She focuses on mental health,
you know, an advocate for healing. She is an author,
a successful podcaster, master educator, and y'all, she works for
organizations such as Chase, Microsoft, Chopra and other Fortune five
hundred companies.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Please welcome Debbie Brown. Yay, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Girl. You talk about naming your wounds and how there's
strength in it, and thank you for that. How does
a person name their wounds? It is a long, slow,
beautiful process.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Our healing is a lot of things, but one thing
it isn't is like a one weekend session of something right.
It is the continued practice. It is building a system
of curiosity with the way that you view yourself and
your life. And so self awareness is what allows us
to come into our healing. And the more self aware
(19:00):
we become, the more we're able to look at the
things that have really hurt us in our lives, the
easier it is to look at our own behaviors and
not be in judgment of them. Sometimes it's really hard
for people to come into self awareness because being honest
with yourself hurts, you know, it can feel really defeating.
(19:21):
For some people that have had traumatic backgrounds, it also
means meeting experiences in their lives that didn't receive their consent,
that they didn't deserve, and looking at.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
That stuff is hard.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
It does feel easier to pretend things didn't happen. It
does feel easier to bypass that and to just try
to instantly push yourself into a positive thought.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
But it is not sustainable.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Everyone who has ever tried that knows you may be
projecting a look of yourself to the world, but you're
not feeling it in your own heart. You deserve more.
You deserve more. You deserve real healing, not performative healing.
For that to happen, we just have to really be
willing gently to look at the truth of our individual lives,
(20:10):
the truth of our behavior, the truth of our experiences,
as soon as we're able to do that. And for
anyone listening that may have a story that you think
that makes sense for everyone else, but not me, because
this happened to me.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
I hear you.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
And it's about releasing yourself from that cell. It's about
saying it out loud. It is about saying it and
sharing it with trusted people who give you this space
to talk about yourself without trying to cover you with
their discomfort or their advice or their spiritual bypassing. It's
(20:48):
about giving yourself, however much time you need to say
it out loud, but saying it out loud so it
can free you and you can release it, and you
can reframe the narrative of who you are.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And how you became.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
That as we hold our hearts and what you might
want to call your abdomen or your stomach, just take
this hold. Let this just be stable center. In this
last I closed my eyes as Debbie was talking, and
I received it as a prayer, a prayer for myself
(21:25):
and as a prayer for the person listening, and as
a prayer for Debbie as she continues this healing work
through individuals and for corporations and to the world that
we continue healing. It is deserved. It's not for the
rich person, it's not for the person that's never been abused.
(21:48):
It is for you, and it's for me. You are loved.
Know that I don't care what your abuse and trauma.
I don't care what the lie say to you. You
are loved. We're with you. You're not alone.
Speaker 7 (22:22):
Release, release, release. You deserve, you deserve, you deserve. Who
do you want to be? Who are you being called
to become? Grace and ease will cover you say yes?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
M hm yes amen.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Wow oh that was so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Oh my god, wow.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Oh this is what checking in the Foundation must be
about and must continue to be this And thank you
Debbie for joining.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Me intident once again. Thank you for tuning into the
Black Effect Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments
from your favorite podcast
Peaks of the planet, charlamagnea god here, and as we
come close to the closing out this year, I just
want to say thank you for tuning it into the
Black Effect podcast network. There have been so many great
moments over the past year. Take a listen to some
of those captivating moments in this special best of episode.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She is a three time Emmy Award winning co host
of ABC's The View. New York Times best selling author.
I fell in love with her first ball because she
is an attorney, a legal analyst, as well as a
sought after speaker. Y'all already know. Y'all know who it is. Please,
Sonny Houstin.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Oh, thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Wow. You know, I remember the first time we met.
I mean I had watched you perform, of course, but
I remember the first time we met. We were you
were walking out of a Japanese restaurant and I was
walking into a Japanese restaurant and you were like, Sonny
Haustin and I was like, I know, Michelle.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Williams does not know who I am.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
So it was great and it's been great to keep
in touch since then.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yes, ma'am, it has been great.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It has just been awesome over the years, because.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
You know, I am a bootleg attorney.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
My college was criminal justice, so I would stay tuned
and peeled into cases that made like mainstream television. And
what inspired me so much was to see women of
color bringing it as it related to the legal parts
of all these cases that were going on.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I mean, killing it sure confident.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
There are times where you had to set people in
their place, or there are times you have to be like, no,
the person did it, how did y'all not see it?
How do they see it? So I'm just appreciative of you.
I'm appreciative you've been what ten seasons or more on
the View?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You know.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
I was just reminded of that.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Have some one on the View I had said during
an interview six years and she was like, no, you
started guest hosting with us in twenty twelve, and I
was like what She was like, yep, Barbara got you
into the rotation in twenty twelve, and so I was
a guest co host for a lot, like half the
(02:20):
shows in a year, and then I've been on the
show formally as a full time co host since for
seven years.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It went by really quickly, doesn't it go? By quickly. Yeah,
and it's like.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
I started guest co hosting, but at the time I
was working at CNN, so it was, you know, they
wanted me to start at the View, but I really
couldn't because I had a contract and CNN at the
time was like, no, you can't get out of your contract,
which in a way was a good thing for me
because I was reporting out in the field. I was
(02:55):
doing the things that you were just talking about. You know,
I was covering the Trade bon Martin trial, well, the
George Zimmerman traum, but the Trayvon's murder. And I was,
you know, covering Casey Anthony who murdered, in my opinion,
her you know, her baby, And so I was. I
was in the thick of a lot of heavy stuff
that was really important to me. And so in a
(03:18):
way it was great to be able to do that
that heavy lifting and give voice to our community and
then get on the View and have a little bit
of fun.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
So it was a good balance. Got it.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
The foundation of checking in is mental health. It just
mentioned that, you know, you had to cover some heavy cases. Yeah, okay,
I named all these brilliant things that you do, but
some of the most brilliant things that you are is
a wife and mother. Yes, say someone's daughter, someone's friend.
(03:54):
How were you able to handle all of these heavy
moments as far as your mental health is concerned.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Learned? You know, it's interesting.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I'm learning how to handle it better. I am someone
who tended to internalize things. You know, I was the
calm in the storm. I had a pretty chaotic upbringing
because I grew up in the South Bronx projects and
I saw a lot of violence and addiction, and so
I was always the kid with the book that was
(04:24):
looking for an escape from my surroundings. And it kind
of grounded me. And my faith grounded me. You know,
I'm Catholic, went to Catholic schools. I had a really
good friendship with a nun believe it or not, sister,
and she passed a couple of years ago, and I
still to this day have a really good friendship with
two priests, Father Edward Beck and Father Bob, and so
(04:47):
I was.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Able to turn to them.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I didn't turn to a traditional therapists, but I turned
to them for a guidance, you know, like faith guidance,
Like how do I do this? Especially when I was
covering a lot of the heavy stuff, and it's hard,
I will say, not only covering those issues, but covering
them as a public figure, and it's especially hard.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
On your family.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
And you don't think about that, or at least I
didn't think about that when I first started. I just
want to tell people stories. I just want to make
sure people knew about Trayvon. I wanted to make sure
you know that people knew about George Floyd. I just
it was important to me that people knew about what
was going on community. I prosecuted child sex crimes and trafficking.
That was the business that I was in when I
was a prosecutor, and I pretty much put myself last
(05:39):
all the time. I wanted to make sure my daughter
was okay, my son was okay, my husband was okay,
and I was doing the work. But I wasn't as
concerned about myself. And I would say within the past
five years, especially with the help of Joy Behar and
Whoopee and my co hosts asking me, are you and
(06:01):
I started kind of taking stock in that and I
was like, some days I'm great, but sometimes I'm actually
not okay, And it's okay to say I'm not Okay,
it's okay to say I.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Think I'm gonna have to take a mental health day
off today because I need to.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You know, I live on kind of a modified farm,
so I'm like, I need to go out with my chickens,
I need to tend to my beehives. I need to
be with my two hundred and fifty pounds New Finland dogs.
I need to just spend some time for me. And
that's been extremely helpful. But it took me a minute
to understand what self care meant and how if I
(06:42):
am not good and centered mentally, that I am not
good and centered for anybody else.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
His authenticity is what won the hearts of millions, went
on to work with and have his own show through
Ellen DeGeneres, and is now transitioning and doing so many
great things. He is someone's friend. He is someone's son.
(07:16):
To us, we love him. He is Kaylin Allen. Have
you heard Tapitha Brown's story, Yes, kind of the same
thing where she says she heard a voice say, get
your phone, use your phone, and to see what you
two have done just by the power of making good
(07:38):
use out of the phone, bringing joy to people's hearts.
Because people use their phones for evil. I'm just gonna
say it, but y'all, you use your phone to make us?
Did you know you were you trying to make us laugh?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
And you know what's so funny about that. And I
tell people this all the time is that I'm not
a comedian. And it's like, I just know I'm a
comedic entertainer. I know comedy. I just know what's funny.
And it's really a lot of times it's just how
I talk. It's just how I express myself. It's just
who I am, you know. So it's just like I
don't see it as I'm sitting down, like writing down
(08:16):
a joke or something like that.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It's just like every now.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
And to be honest, even the way that I make
content now, it's all off a feeling. I don't believe
in making content. Just to say that i'd have made
some content or whatever, I have to feel it. So
for instance, like the other day, I was at the
grocery store and these two boys call me sir, and
so then something in my spirit was like this would
be a funny video. So I went home. I was like,
(08:39):
I already know what I want to say, I know
how I want to say, I'm a pressure record and
I'm gonna talk to this phone for a minute and
thirty seconds, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
And what I realized after.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
That video is that I think because because it is
so natural to me, I think it becomes so believable
that people think that I actually really care about it.
If that makes of being like and I'm like, I
don't really care that these boys call me sir, Like
that's not that is not keeping me up at night,
you know what I mean. But it's like it's a
(09:09):
part of the comedy, is a part of the hysteria
of it Allfore.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I love it. I have those moments and where I
should press for corpor then I'm self conscious, like, well,
you don't have no makeup. You gotta do this, you
gotta do that, don't be coming on looking busted. So
a lot of my thoughts just stay thoughts. But I'm
going to try to do some more natural moments of
(09:35):
you know, spontaneous filming.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Now, where do you feel like that self consciousness comes from?
Where does it stem from?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
So this could you interview with me?
Speaker 3 (09:49):
I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I can't help so, Okay, I know where it comes from.
It comes from always being known or seen as glamour,
hair and makeup always done, and it's like I should
at least have on some lipsticks. Okay, I'm not saying
one that comes on natural with no makeup done or
no hair. I'm not saying that they're wrong, but it's
(10:12):
just like if I don't, will it be like, ooh,
what's she going through today summer? Okay, I don't know,
but that's me overthinking assuming what people are thinking, and
they're probably not. They probably don't care.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Well, I would say that the flip is.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I think it's also the fact of like you, being
in the industry at a time before social media, but
at the level that you were doing it as well.
I can understand why you would have that perspective, and
I think the industry has changed so much in today's
day and age.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
It's that it's two different times, you know what I mean.
So I don't think it has anything to do with
you overthinking at all. I think it's you thinking in
what you're used to and what it used to be,
you know what I mean, which that I can understand.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And this has been your ask, doctor kaylen Hermett, because
thank you, though you are so right, you're spot on.
That's why I was sitting in the spirit of hush,
because I was like, Caitlen is actually spot on. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I just try to add perspective to stuff.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
You know.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I think I'm very especially so. And I don't know
if I've even told you this before. Is that I
plan on when this is, you know, when I decide
I want to retire and I want to like, you know,
sit down or somewhere. I plan to become a therapist too,
specifically to people that work in the industry, because in
my experience in going to therapy, therapists could only understand
(11:40):
the everyday stuff, but when it came to industry stuff,
they had no idea of how to help me, and
a lot of especially in earlier that was a lot
of my issues. We're rooted in navigating the industry, and
it was just like, well, who am I supposed to
talk to?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
You know what I mean? So I want to be
able to be that resource to people.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So you think we should go to school together and
open up a practice.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Come on, let's go, we should let's go. I like that.
Let's go. I like that. Go okay, I'll let you
get back to the interviewer.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, no, we no, because it's going to flow.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Ince a half of.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Eighty percent of what we're talking about ain't even you
right about it? So you did a reaction video.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Now wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Were people that you did reaction videos to did they
actually get offended?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Some?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
Some at first? But it was never like a big thing.
But I do remember. I think there was at some
point when the videos would be, you know, featured on
Kaitlin or on Ellen, that people would be like, well,
we need to cut, you know, like because it was like.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
A cut of the revenue.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
You know, no, no, you ain't need what you cook
needed to be cut?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Okay, exactly exactly, they were right, it needed to be cut.
Exactly cut the video.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
But the fun you think about that is that technically
it's a parody, you know, because it's like a commentary
or whatever. But you know, when you when you're dealing
with something that was getting that many views. I think
once I left Ellen on Kaitlin itself had already done
over a billion views in itself, So it's like when
you have stuff with that magnitude, of course, people want
to you know, cash in or get a cut of
(13:21):
the check or whatever. I didn't really care about that
because I don't that's not why I make stuff. But yeah, no,
I think what was also crazy about it was just
that then, And this is why I stopped doing them,
was because I noticed that people were just making videos
to that were just nasty. And I think for me,
everything is about authenticity, you know. And so I was like,
(13:43):
I would watch a video and I'd be like, that's
not real, you know, and me talking about like how
I'm not a comedian. It's like, I'm not about to
sit here and just write a couple of jokes to
try and make this funny, you know what I mean.
It's like I don't ever want to be a character
or or for it to feel inauthentic. So I was
just like, so I just won't do it that much.
I'll just find something else to do, you know what
(14:04):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I'm still stuck on because we saw the videos and
then wow, I'm just tripping, Like you said, it was
only three months later that Ellen DeGeneres calls you and
then you literally saunter and Sashet and strut out on
that show and you sit down and you cross your
legs and you're sitting with Ellen Degenerous.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
This is what twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen. So I take
the first episode December of twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And so what was that like, you get the phone
call to go out there? What?
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Well, it was a whirlwind. Kansas born, very much, so,
very much. So it was a whirlwind, you know. I
So my first idea was that I was going to
show up. They was gonna give me a cute little
shutterfly check and I was gonna go buy my bas
like That's what I thought it was gonna be. And
then I wasn't expecting to be offered the job. And
(15:04):
so when I was off at the job, I said
yes on the show. I remember I left there. I
was staying at the Hilton in Universal City.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
So I was at the Hilton, and I remember the
next day. I think my flight may have been in
the evening or something. I was like, Okay, well I'm
gonna get up go to Universal Studios. I ain't never been,
you know, I'm gonna go buy myself and go have
hun and I member I got to university and I
called up at that time my acting teacher at Temple.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I said this is the deal. I was offered a job.
I need to move to LA.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
The original contract did not say I needed to move
to LA, but I knew that if I moved to LA,
then I would be you used more. They would use
me more because I was there. I was more convenient,
they didn't have to pay for travel and stuff like that.
And so I was like, we need to figure out
how I can finish my degrees in LA and with
this move needs to happen asap. So I flew back
(15:56):
to Temple, packed up all my stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
We figured it out.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I did claims at night while I was at Ellen,
and then I moved to Los Angeles. But I will
say that it was very scary at first, and to
be honest, it's probably one of my most depressive moments
of my life. And the reason is is because I
was thrown into something with little to no guidance as
so far as how it operated and how it worked,
(16:21):
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Also, and when I got.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
The job, I was working five jobs in college like
I was used to, you know, working, working, working BBB,
and now my only job is the Ellen Degenerate Show.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
But this is before on Kaitln.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
This is before regular appearances, so it's just like an
every down. And then so I'm just sitting in the apartment,
Like I'm just sitting in my apartment watching TV all day.
It was driving me insane. I was like, I'm so bored.
I was in like a furnished apartment, so it really
wasn't mine. So the apartment was just like there and
it was dark. There wasn't a lot of sunlight. I
(16:55):
was like, I can't do this. This is sad. I
don't like it. So then that was when I asked
for an office at Warner Brothers, because I was like,
give me purpose, give me somewhere I can go, you know.
And then I think that that was really why then
everything else started to happen. Was because I was very
hands on, and you know me, I'm a very vocal person.
(17:16):
I am very like all toesy in you know what
I mean. So that's just who I am.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I'm so thankful that y'all continue to check in and
subscribe and download our podcast. Now today, I'm so excited.
I've said that word about three times already in the
span of one minute to have this beautiful guest checking
in with us. Her name is Deabbie Brown. When I
(17:50):
tell y'all, she is so soothing. She focuses on mental health,
you know, an advocate for healing. She is an author,
a successful podcaster, master educator, and y'all, she works for
organizations such as Chase, Microsoft, Chopra and other Fortune five
hundred companies.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Please welcome Debbie Brown. Yay, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Girl. You talk about naming your wounds and how there's
strength in it, and thank you for that. How does
a person name their wounds? It is a long, slow,
beautiful process.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Our healing is a lot of things, but one thing
it isn't is like a one weekend session of something right.
It is the continued practice. It is building a system
of curiosity with the way that you view yourself and
your life. And so self awareness is what allows us
to come into our healing. And the more self aware
(19:00):
we become, the more we're able to look at the
things that have really hurt us in our lives, the
easier it is to look at our own behaviors and
not be in judgment of them. Sometimes it's really hard
for people to come into self awareness because being honest
with yourself hurts, you know, it can feel really defeating.
(19:21):
For some people that have had traumatic backgrounds, it also
means meeting experiences in their lives that didn't receive their consent,
that they didn't deserve, and looking at.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
That stuff is hard.
Speaker 6 (19:35):
It does feel easier to pretend things didn't happen. It
does feel easier to bypass that and to just try
to instantly push yourself into a positive thought.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
But it is not sustainable.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Everyone who has ever tried that knows you may be
projecting a look of yourself to the world, but you're
not feeling it in your own heart. You deserve more.
You deserve more. You deserve real healing, not performative healing.
For that to happen, we just have to really be
willing gently to look at the truth of our individual lives,
(20:10):
the truth of our behavior, the truth of our experiences,
as soon as we're able to do that. And for
anyone listening that may have a story that you think
that makes sense for everyone else, but not me, because
this happened to me.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
I hear you.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
And it's about releasing yourself from that cell. It's about
saying it out loud. It is about saying it and
sharing it with trusted people who give you this space
to talk about yourself without trying to cover you with
their discomfort or their advice or their spiritual bypassing. It's
(20:48):
about giving yourself, however much time you need to say
it out loud, but saying it out loud so it
can free you and you can release it, and you
can reframe the narrative of who you are.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And how you became.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
That as we hold our hearts and what you might
want to call your abdomen or your stomach, just take
this hold. Let this just be stable center. In this
last I closed my eyes as Debbie was talking, and
I received it as a prayer, a prayer for myself
(21:25):
and as a prayer for the person listening, and as
a prayer for Debbie as she continues this healing work
through individuals and for corporations and to the world that
we continue healing. It is deserved. It's not for the
rich person, it's not for the person that's never been abused.
(21:48):
It is for you, and it's for me. You are loved.
Know that I don't care what your abuse and trauma.
I don't care what the lie say to you. You
are loved. We're with you. You're not alone.
Speaker 7 (22:22):
Release, release, release. You deserve, you deserve, you deserve. Who
do you want to be? Who are you being called
to become? Grace and ease will cover you say yes?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
M hm yes amen.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Wow oh that was so beautiful.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Oh my god, wow.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Oh this is what checking in the Foundation must be
about and must continue to be this And thank you
Debbie for joining.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Me intident once again. Thank you for tuning into the
Black Effect Podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments
from your favorite podcast
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