August 20, 2025 • 11 mins
Old Chile takes you on a “high-stakes” investigation straight out of a gumbo-flavored detective novel—minus the professionalism. It’s 1974, and a routine child custody surveillance turns into a beer-soaked stakeout, complete with pork rinds, pizza, and near arrest. When four armed men surround the car in the dead of night, Chile braces for the end—until one of them turns out to be a frat brother with a badge. It’s part Magnum P.I., part Dumb and Dumber, and all classic Chile.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, it's old Chili coming back at you with
another little diddy. This is when I'll just call private
eye and I hope you enjoy it. And here she goes.
Suddenly a van pulled directly in front of our car,
blocking her exit. Four men dressed in dark clothes got
(00:25):
out and walked towards us, two on each side of
the car. Perry they have guns and pointing them at me.
Perry remained silent until I was on the verge of
really losing it. How close did I come to be?
In short shot? Well, here's the story. July nineteen seventy, four,
(00:50):
month or so before Richard M. Nixon resigned his presidency.
I was working at the law firm of Davidson Moe
on a main Donahoe but an auditorian in Diaz as
a office boy slash clerk. I just completed my sophomore
year at the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Right there in Lafayette, Louisiana.
(01:16):
I was taking six hours of intellectual pursuit in the
summer semester. Well, a like Castoa, I had more time
to work and make a little extra money, and that
was a good thing. The twenty one. Attorneys of the
law firm specialized in tax, admiralty, oil and gas, and
(01:39):
defense law. Occasionally a divorce or child custody suit was taken.
Old Perry was a student clerk like me, always looking
for extra income. We both jumped at a chance to
feed our wallets a little bit and to do a
little private investigation. The assignment related to a child custody matter.
(02:05):
Subsequent to the divorce. The mother had moved a man
into her apartment lascibiously cohabitating with her and her two daughters.
The outraged father of the girls retained our firm to
secure his rights to their custody. Drue to you and
Perry want to make a little extra money, Dick Mole,
(02:28):
law firm partner asked, sure we do. We were quick
to reply, pretty easy work, he said. You'll need to
watch a man and woman with the girls enter the
apartment in the evening and remain there until the next morning. Well,
this be piece of cake. When do we pull off
(02:49):
this caper, I said Crewe Mike Hammer fashion night after tomorrow.
Dick said, great, this'll be fun. I thought of our
deep cover investigation. Mister Mole called us into his office. Perry,
here's a little cash to get your dinner and start
(03:09):
your assignment with Wow, twenty bucks. We will bring back
the change. No need to. This is down payment for
your services. Now here's here's the address of the apartment. Now,
good luck boys. Perry always had a cooler in his
(03:30):
trunk and it served as the nucleus for our provisions.
We went to the Pigley Wiggly and bought Cheeto, Snickers,
ning Dog's port Ride in a case of Dixie Beer.
We had enough cash left over for two pizzas from
Alisi's Pizza. We were all set. Perry drove his car
(03:51):
to the apartment parking lot. We found apartment two to
one four and backed into a space. Directly across from
the second floor door. Behind us was a pasture with
a barbed wire fence. Three feet from our bumper. Eight
feet from the fence was a live oak tree with
a trunk that must have been six feet diameter. We
(04:13):
celebrated our arrival with a couple of beers each. The
empty beer cans went into a bag in the back
seat I had set up as a trash container. At
exactly five point fifteen in the afternoon, as documented, a
white Toyota Corolla. So then pulled into the parking place
(04:34):
directly in front of the stairs leading up to apartment
two one four. A man six feet four inches weighing
about one hundred and eighty pounds got out of the car.
He was wearing a drab T shirt, blue jeans, and
work boots. The woman passenger was about five feet six
(04:55):
inches talled. We were all documenting all this stuff. Is
it on fold? Of course, she was dressed in a
tight white T shirt and very tight blue jeans and
tennis shoes. I figure she was a waitress and maybe
out of the local college one of the college dives.
Perry and I toasted our good fortune of this caper
(05:19):
with our cans of beer. Well what funn this will be.
Also in the Corona Corona were two young girls after
the sight of the mother's pulkra two. The girls were noted,
not described, they were young. All four went up the
(05:40):
stairs into the apartment number two one four that was
precisely at five point twenty two. More beers, Cheetos, pork rinds,
and one of the pizzas for next on our surveillance agenda.
Well as can you believe we're getting paid to do this.
(06:01):
I want this job for the rest of my life,
I said. A half hour after beer and pizza, I
had to go. Perry asked, what are you doing. I'm
digging for a beer can to pee. I said, no way,
You'll go all over my car. It's still light and
I'm foaming. I guess I could open the trunk and
(06:24):
appear to be looking for something and go back there.
It will be my guest. But don't get any in
my trunk. The car was only seven years old, and
I need to keep it for a while longer, Perry said.
I got the keys and opened the trunk. I felt
the relief flowing from every cell of my body. Who
(06:45):
it was very well could have been the beer going
in or creating my euphorium. At six twenty five, precisely,
the man came out of apartment two one four by
himself and drove away into Corona. Willis you think this
guy's coming back? If he's gone, we won't be able
(07:07):
to testify and spend the night. Let's have another beer,
I said, At precisely seven old weight. He returned with
a paper sack with grease stains on it. It's probably
Boo Dan or shrimp pool boys. Isromised, Let's have a
ding dong in some beer. Give me the keys, Willis,
(07:29):
I gotta go again at Willis was Perry's last name.
Is The day was going quickly in tonight. We saw
the fellow notices when he returned with the dinner. He
stared at us staring back at him, not the least
(07:49):
bit subtle on our part. Every half hour or so
after dark, the drapes covering the front window parted and
we saw the man and woman staring it up us
as we were staring back at them. At twelve thirty
five am, the apartment went dark. By then, Willis and
(08:09):
I had all the beard drunk beats of finish pork rinds.
Ding dongs devoured the darkness head our relief trips, so
the diversion of the raised trunk was not necessary. We
saw the dark drapes part on several occasions. At about
two am, a van drove up and blocked us. I said, hey,
(08:35):
I went bowso the guys with guns were close to
my Willis rolled the window up. I said, can't the key?
Can't The keys are still in drunken they're wearing a
tight spot, he replied. I caught a glimpse of two
heads in the window of the apartment too one four
(08:56):
watching our excursion. I knew that guy will with gritty
clothes and work books boots should not have been messed with. Now.
My only hope was that it would be over quickly.
I saw the guns on my side of the car
and heard one of the toughs long windows. As I
(09:17):
says Perry, Willis is that you. Willis repried, Yeah, that's
me Doopy. Hell yeah, what are you doing drinking beer,
peering in a parking lot and spying on folks? Well,
that came back. Turns out Doopy was an undercover vice
(09:38):
cop and a fraternity brother of Willis's. The other three
were under cover cops as well. Willis explained to Doopy
what we were doing in parking there. These people thought
you were waiting for them to go to sleep, and
then you were going to do something awful to them.
Doopy said, Now we have to stay here and report
(09:58):
their sleeping the whole night together with the kids present,
said Willis. Okay, I'll take care of this. Doopy said,
I'll tell them you're two undercover drug cops on a
steakout waiting for a sail in the parking lot. Doopy
went up to the apartment, told the story to the couple.
(10:20):
Doopy drove off, and a couple smiled and waved good
night to us from the landing. We celebrated with the
Only thing left was a Snickers. We split it and
a bag of cheetoes. Dawns came four, waved at us,
(10:41):
drove away to work in school. Willis and I went
home with all our treasure in the back seat. God,
what a night. We wrote our report up for Dick
Moe and waited for the trial to begin. The mother's
attorney is stipulated to our testimony, so we didn't have
to testify in person. That was a blessing. The jury
(11:05):
found in favor of the father and awarded him prime custody.
No more stakeouts were in my future. That's about the
story we got here on a private idea. Audios from
Chili and remember peace, chill out, and of course watch
(11:26):
the intersections. Audios
Hey, guys, it's old Chili coming back at you with
another little diddy. This is when I'll just call private
eye and I hope you enjoy it. And here she goes.
Suddenly a van pulled directly in front of our car,
blocking her exit. Four men dressed in dark clothes got
(00:25):
out and walked towards us, two on each side of
the car. Perry they have guns and pointing them at me.
Perry remained silent until I was on the verge of
really losing it. How close did I come to be?
In short shot? Well, here's the story. July nineteen seventy, four,
(00:50):
month or so before Richard M. Nixon resigned his presidency.
I was working at the law firm of Davidson Moe
on a main Donahoe but an auditorian in Diaz as
a office boy slash clerk. I just completed my sophomore
year at the University of Southwestern Louisiana. Right there in Lafayette, Louisiana.
(01:16):
I was taking six hours of intellectual pursuit in the
summer semester. Well, a like Castoa, I had more time
to work and make a little extra money, and that
was a good thing. The twenty one. Attorneys of the
law firm specialized in tax, admiralty, oil and gas, and
(01:39):
defense law. Occasionally a divorce or child custody suit was taken.
Old Perry was a student clerk like me, always looking
for extra income. We both jumped at a chance to
feed our wallets a little bit and to do a
little private investigation. The assignment related to a child custody matter.
(02:05):
Subsequent to the divorce. The mother had moved a man
into her apartment lascibiously cohabitating with her and her two daughters.
The outraged father of the girls retained our firm to
secure his rights to their custody. Drue to you and
Perry want to make a little extra money, Dick Mole,
(02:28):
law firm partner asked, sure we do. We were quick
to reply, pretty easy work, he said. You'll need to
watch a man and woman with the girls enter the
apartment in the evening and remain there until the next morning. Well,
this be piece of cake. When do we pull off
(02:49):
this caper, I said Crewe Mike Hammer fashion night after tomorrow.
Dick said, great, this'll be fun. I thought of our
deep cover investigation. Mister Mole called us into his office. Perry,
here's a little cash to get your dinner and start
(03:09):
your assignment with Wow, twenty bucks. We will bring back
the change. No need to. This is down payment for
your services. Now here's here's the address of the apartment. Now,
good luck boys. Perry always had a cooler in his
(03:30):
trunk and it served as the nucleus for our provisions.
We went to the Pigley Wiggly and bought Cheeto, Snickers,
ning Dog's port Ride in a case of Dixie Beer.
We had enough cash left over for two pizzas from
Alisi's Pizza. We were all set. Perry drove his car
(03:51):
to the apartment parking lot. We found apartment two to
one four and backed into a space. Directly across from
the second floor door. Behind us was a pasture with
a barbed wire fence. Three feet from our bumper. Eight
feet from the fence was a live oak tree with
a trunk that must have been six feet diameter. We
(04:13):
celebrated our arrival with a couple of beers each. The
empty beer cans went into a bag in the back
seat I had set up as a trash container. At
exactly five point fifteen in the afternoon, as documented, a
white Toyota Corolla. So then pulled into the parking place
(04:34):
directly in front of the stairs leading up to apartment
two one four. A man six feet four inches weighing
about one hundred and eighty pounds got out of the car.
He was wearing a drab T shirt, blue jeans, and
work boots. The woman passenger was about five feet six
(04:55):
inches talled. We were all documenting all this stuff. Is
it on fold? Of course, she was dressed in a
tight white T shirt and very tight blue jeans and
tennis shoes. I figure she was a waitress and maybe
out of the local college one of the college dives.
Perry and I toasted our good fortune of this caper
(05:19):
with our cans of beer. Well what funn this will be.
Also in the Corona Corona were two young girls after
the sight of the mother's pulkra two. The girls were noted,
not described, they were young. All four went up the
(05:40):
stairs into the apartment number two one four that was
precisely at five point twenty two. More beers, Cheetos, pork rinds,
and one of the pizzas for next on our surveillance agenda.
Well as can you believe we're getting paid to do this.
(06:01):
I want this job for the rest of my life,
I said. A half hour after beer and pizza, I
had to go. Perry asked, what are you doing. I'm
digging for a beer can to pee. I said, no way,
You'll go all over my car. It's still light and
I'm foaming. I guess I could open the trunk and
(06:24):
appear to be looking for something and go back there.
It will be my guest. But don't get any in
my trunk. The car was only seven years old, and
I need to keep it for a while longer, Perry said.
I got the keys and opened the trunk. I felt
the relief flowing from every cell of my body. Who
(06:45):
it was very well could have been the beer going
in or creating my euphorium. At six twenty five, precisely,
the man came out of apartment two one four by
himself and drove away into Corona. Willis you think this
guy's coming back? If he's gone, we won't be able
(07:07):
to testify and spend the night. Let's have another beer,
I said, At precisely seven old weight. He returned with
a paper sack with grease stains on it. It's probably
Boo Dan or shrimp pool boys. Isromised, Let's have a
ding dong in some beer. Give me the keys, Willis,
(07:29):
I gotta go again at Willis was Perry's last name.
Is The day was going quickly in tonight. We saw
the fellow notices when he returned with the dinner. He
stared at us staring back at him, not the least
(07:49):
bit subtle on our part. Every half hour or so
after dark, the drapes covering the front window parted and
we saw the man and woman staring it up us
as we were staring back at them. At twelve thirty
five am, the apartment went dark. By then, Willis and
(08:09):
I had all the beard drunk beats of finish pork rinds.
Ding dongs devoured the darkness head our relief trips, so
the diversion of the raised trunk was not necessary. We
saw the dark drapes part on several occasions. At about
two am, a van drove up and blocked us. I said, hey,
(08:35):
I went bowso the guys with guns were close to
my Willis rolled the window up. I said, can't the key?
Can't The keys are still in drunken they're wearing a
tight spot, he replied. I caught a glimpse of two
heads in the window of the apartment too one four
(08:56):
watching our excursion. I knew that guy will with gritty
clothes and work books boots should not have been messed with. Now.
My only hope was that it would be over quickly.
I saw the guns on my side of the car
and heard one of the toughs long windows. As I
(09:17):
says Perry, Willis is that you. Willis repried, Yeah, that's
me Doopy. Hell yeah, what are you doing drinking beer,
peering in a parking lot and spying on folks? Well,
that came back. Turns out Doopy was an undercover vice
(09:38):
cop and a fraternity brother of Willis's. The other three
were under cover cops as well. Willis explained to Doopy
what we were doing in parking there. These people thought
you were waiting for them to go to sleep, and
then you were going to do something awful to them.
Doopy said, Now we have to stay here and report
(09:58):
their sleeping the whole night together with the kids present,
said Willis. Okay, I'll take care of this. Doopy said,
I'll tell them you're two undercover drug cops on a
steakout waiting for a sail in the parking lot. Doopy
went up to the apartment, told the story to the couple.
(10:20):
Doopy drove off, and a couple smiled and waved good
night to us from the landing. We celebrated with the
Only thing left was a Snickers. We split it and
a bag of cheetoes. Dawns came four, waved at us,
(10:41):
drove away to work in school. Willis and I went
home with all our treasure in the back seat. God,
what a night. We wrote our report up for Dick
Moe and waited for the trial to begin. The mother's
attorney is stipulated to our testimony, so we didn't have
to testify in person. That was a blessing. The jury
(11:05):
found in favor of the father and awarded him prime custody.
No more stakeouts were in my future. That's about the
story we got here on a private idea. Audios from
Chili and remember peace, chill out, and of course watch
(11:26):
the intersections. Audios
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