August 21, 2024 • 13 mins
It’s time to answer a new set of YOUR questions and trust me, you do not want to miss this episode! Today, recently-divorced Bianca needs advice on how to act now that she’s back in the dating scene; Julie’s fiancé is cheating on her with both men and women but Julie is keeping a big secret of her own; Christina wants my opinion on whether she should tell her mom that she was sexually abused many years ago and Miguel is trying to get me to go back to New York.
You can leave me your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
And guess what? You can now watch the podcast on Youtube!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
What are the cases I want to hear from you.
Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
(00:40):
suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
from a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and
leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey, Cheeky's, I just wanted to let you know that
I love and adore you and your music. I hope
everything goes better for you and your future. You deserve
all of it. So I have a quick question about
starting over. I just got to have a long relationship.
I have kids coming out, of course, but I'm back
(01:10):
into dating after a year later. I don't know where
to start or what to allow. You know, when do
you kiss a new person, When do you open yourself
up sexually? I don't want to be easy or just
let them have all of me, but I also don't
want to be realistic. So give me any advice that
(01:34):
you have. How should I approach the dating scene and
what should I allow and not allow?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
All right, Bianca. So I don't know your age, but
I guess it really doesn't matter. I think that if
you were already married, you have children, you should know
what you want in a relationship. I hope what you
want and you don't want, right I think if you're
looking for something serious then and I would just maybe
(02:04):
not sleep with them on the first dage or maybe
you can. I mean, I mean you when I worked
out and we kind of fooled around on the first day.
But anyways, it's not about me anyway, It's about you,
So let me compose myself. I think we're at an
age like living in a life where like life is
(02:25):
too short, you know what I mean. Like I think,
if you feel it, go with it, but make sure
that he's not like a little crazy, you know what
I mean. Like you gotta like you gotta talk to
him a little bit. But I think if you go
on a first date and you want to kiss him,
kiss him, if you want to have sex with him, Okay,
(02:47):
use protection. Don't bring him over your house right away
to meet your kids and all that stuff. Take it
a little slow in that sense. But you are a
woman that has needs and there is nothing wrong with
you being pleased. You are both adults, you and whoever
this person is going to be, and it's all about communication. Communicate.
If you want something serious, then state that. If you don't,
(03:09):
you just want to have fun. Have fun. You are entitled.
Don't feel bad. There are no rules. It's just whatever
it is that you are feeling. But don't go just
spreading the couch everywhere either, you know, like you gotta
just you gotta save it too, you know. So yeah,
that's my advice. Have fun, have fun, especially if you
(03:31):
were in a very long term relationship and stuff. You know,
just don't bring them around the kids, that's one thing.
Take take your time with that, you know, make sure
that they deserve to be around your children and come
into your personal space. Other than that, do yo, thank girl. Okay,
so we're gonna move on to.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Julie Jeki's first off, I love you and your family
so much. I have many questions, but I only sit
to one. So my fiance and I I've been together
for ten years. In the first two years of being together,
I find out he is cheating on me, not only
with women, but also with men. We have two beautiful
(04:10):
kids together, and throughout the remaining eight years, I find
out all the time that he is cheating, but I
continue to stay in sake of our children. Now, I
know that's not a good reason to stay with him,
but I do know that he loves me, and I
do love him very much. But I want to know
what advice do you have for me? If I should stay,
(04:32):
if I should go, what should I do? Because at
the end of the day, I am also hiding a
secret from him, and the secret is I do not
know if he is the biological father of our first born.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Girl. Okay, Julie, Okay, where do I start in regards
to your relationship with this guy that doesn't know how
to be faithful? That's not love. First of all, you
say he loves me, he doesn't love you enough, because
if he loved you, he'd be faithful. Look if he
was unfaithful once. He cheated once and he apologized, and
(05:08):
you know he's a change man. Okay, stay with him,
but he continues to do this, not only with women
but also with men. I think he has a sex addiction,
that's what it is. And I don't think or see
a future with him, like a healthy future with him
at all. You asked me, what do you think you
should do, whether to stay or to leave? Run Run
(05:30):
the opposite way as fast as you can. That's my advice.
That's what I would tell my sister and my best friend. Run. Yes,
you have kids, but girl, you should not stay with
the man just because you have children. Those children are
going to grow up and they're going to start their
own life, and then you're gonna be what like you're
gonna like realize, oh my god, I stayed all this
time with this man, unhappy, he was cheating, blah blah blah,
(05:52):
and my kids are gone and there goes my life.
You know what I mean. If you are not okay,
you're not gonna be able to be there for your
children and show up for them the way they need
you to because you're not happy. You know what to do.
This is why you're asking me. You know what to do.
You're just afraid, and it's okay to be scared. Do
it afraid, but you need to love yourself more and
leave this person. And if you don't know if the
(06:17):
first child is his, I think you need to tell
him soon and he's probably gonna run the opposite direction
as well. So I think you guys, to be quite honest,
you guys are toxic because you obviously did your share
of cheating as well. You guys both need to just
love each other from afar and understand that you guys
were brought into this world to bring children together or not,
(06:40):
or to raise I don't even know, but this isn't healthy.
It's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for your kids.
It's obviously it's not healthy for him if you don't
know if he's the father of your first born, Babe,
like you have to be open. You have to tell
him sooner rather than later. You need to figure this out,
swab him. I don't know, you got you have to
figured out because it's not fair to your child. So
(07:04):
I'm a masitas. I'm wishing you the best, but please,
there are a few little things in this question that
we need to address, but just fuck it, do it
address them both at the same time. Hey, I can't
be with you anymore. I'm tired of your cheating and
guess what. I think that the first baby is not yours.
So like, let's figure that out because he's gonna be
pretty pissed.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Just know that.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Make sure someone's around because he's not going to be
very happy about that. Ah, Julie sending you a big,
big hug. I hope everything works out all right, Let's
go with the third question. It comes from Miguel.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Hey, Cheekey's.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
My name is Miguel. I'm from New York. I really really,
really really love the person you've become. I've been hearing
your music since I was a kid, since you first started,
since Paloma Blanca. Truly have become a great person, a
great entrepreneur. I want to know if you're ever gonna
(08:05):
come to New York for a concert. Come on, come on,
come on, you need to come party, party, party, puu
pinch your party in New York. Come on, you need
to come twirk it over here. Basically we need It'll
be so much fun. Boys, Thank you so much, keep
up your good work and remember never give up.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh my girl, I love you. I feel like I
want to hang out with you. I was just in
New York, I think in April, and I was there
to promote my docu series Chiki sinfieldro and I love
New York. New York is just it's nice, I I
and I do I have to take the amanthis tour
(08:47):
out there. You're absolutely right, But tell all your New Yorkers,
all the you know, all your friends to listen to
my music, and so that way my well, I have
them stream it first of all, and then that way
my record label will see, oh, they're listening to the
music in New York, and then they'll take me out there.
But I do want to go. I went out to
Bronx a few years back and it was freaking amazing.
(09:10):
I didn't get off stage till four in the morning,
So I know New York and party. So I'm gonna
work on that meal. And thank you so much. You
are so sweet. Everything you said just touched my heart.
My little heart. Sending you a big kiss, Papa. Wah. Okay, guys,
So we have a final question and it comes from Christina.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Let's go, Hi, cheeky, I'm from Syntiego. I'm about to
be thirty five really soon. Hi cancer baby, anyway, so
ill question now, Like I suffered from sexual abuse, like
twenty twenty five years ago. Nobody knows but my grandma
because I told her not too long ago, like a
(09:50):
few months ago. Anyway, she thinks I should tell my mom.
I'm fifty to fifty on whether I should or not.
First of all, because it twenty five years since that happened.
And also, even though she's healthy, she's eighty years old.
I don't know if I should tell her anything because
I don't want to be the cause of like her
getting sick or like having a heart attack or anything
(10:11):
like that. I know you went through and like through
this same exact thing. What will you do? Should I
tell her or not? That's my question. I think I should,
but I think I should, And at the same time,
so I'm thorne grandma thinks I should. I don't know.
Thank you so much for the time and for all
you do with this podcast. I love you so much
(10:33):
and I cannot wait to hear your answer.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Love you bye, Christina. Okay, so my first question to
you is if your mom is eighty, then how does
your grandma? Okay, so I'm kind of like, Okay, Well,
either way, I think dang, because your mom is older,
it's tough because yes, we don't want her to get sick.
It also depends who this person was or is that
(10:59):
did this to you. You know what, I don't know.
Usually I'm one to say say it, but you've already
you know, you got it off your chest and you
told your grandma. So it's not like it's something that
I feel like you're healing through and it's not like
a secret that's keeping you feeling down or you know,
(11:21):
because secrets make us feel that way, you know, they
become like toxic in our body. So your grandma already knows.
I think that let your mother enjoy the rest of
her life, the years that God has I think if
you've gone this far without telling her, I think it's
okay not to tell her, you know, just because she
is older and we don't know what it could do
(11:43):
to her, and we just want her to enjoy the
rest of her life and enjoy her you know, you're
healing from this, and just let your grandma know that.
You know. I feel good. You know you've helped me
through this, Grandma. And I don't think it's necessary to
bring this to my mom because we just we don't know.
It could be fifty fifth, it could really make her sick.
She could be fine. We just don't know, and I
(12:03):
don't know if that's a risk that you would want
to take. So usually I'm like, say it, but I
think this time it's okay for you not to say it.
That's my personal advice. Again, whatever your heart tells you.
But if I were you, I would just just let
it be, you know what I mean, especially if you're
healing through it. You sound like you are, you know.
But but yeah, that's my advice. I hope it helps you. Guys,
(12:27):
all of you. Thank you so much for your questions.
I hope that my advice helped in some way. All
I want to do is help Julie. I am praying
for you girl. I hope you make the right decision mama,
for yourself and for your kids. Anyways, you guys, thank
you so much for listening, for watching. I love you, guys.
And if you want to leave me a question, it
could be about anything. It could be about something in
(12:50):
my personal life or in your life, financial friendships, starting
a business, anything and everything. I promise to give you
the best advice from the bottom of my heart because
I have your best interest. Okay, losquiro mucho e los
veo and The Dear Cheeky's Oh.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Look at That.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Wultura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Mike Quiltura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
What are the cases I want to hear from you.
Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
(00:40):
suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
from a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and
leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey, Cheeky's, I just wanted to let you know that
I love and adore you and your music. I hope
everything goes better for you and your future. You deserve
all of it. So I have a quick question about
starting over. I just got to have a long relationship.
I have kids coming out, of course, but I'm back
(01:10):
into dating after a year later. I don't know where
to start or what to allow. You know, when do
you kiss a new person, When do you open yourself
up sexually? I don't want to be easy or just
let them have all of me, but I also don't
want to be realistic. So give me any advice that
(01:34):
you have. How should I approach the dating scene and
what should I allow and not allow?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
All right, Bianca. So I don't know your age, but
I guess it really doesn't matter. I think that if
you were already married, you have children, you should know
what you want in a relationship. I hope what you
want and you don't want, right I think if you're
looking for something serious then and I would just maybe
(02:04):
not sleep with them on the first dage or maybe
you can. I mean, I mean you when I worked
out and we kind of fooled around on the first day.
But anyways, it's not about me anyway, It's about you,
So let me compose myself. I think we're at an
age like living in a life where like life is
(02:25):
too short, you know what I mean. Like I think,
if you feel it, go with it, but make sure
that he's not like a little crazy, you know what
I mean. Like you gotta like you gotta talk to
him a little bit. But I think if you go
on a first date and you want to kiss him,
kiss him, if you want to have sex with him, Okay,
(02:47):
use protection. Don't bring him over your house right away
to meet your kids and all that stuff. Take it
a little slow in that sense. But you are a
woman that has needs and there is nothing wrong with
you being pleased. You are both adults, you and whoever
this person is going to be, and it's all about communication. Communicate.
If you want something serious, then state that. If you don't,
(03:09):
you just want to have fun. Have fun. You are entitled.
Don't feel bad. There are no rules. It's just whatever
it is that you are feeling. But don't go just
spreading the couch everywhere either, you know, like you gotta
just you gotta save it too, you know. So yeah,
that's my advice. Have fun, have fun, especially if you
(03:31):
were in a very long term relationship and stuff. You know,
just don't bring them around the kids, that's one thing.
Take take your time with that, you know, make sure
that they deserve to be around your children and come
into your personal space. Other than that, do yo, thank girl. Okay,
so we're gonna move on to.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Julie Jeki's first off, I love you and your family
so much. I have many questions, but I only sit
to one. So my fiance and I I've been together
for ten years. In the first two years of being together,
I find out he is cheating on me, not only
with women, but also with men. We have two beautiful
(04:10):
kids together, and throughout the remaining eight years, I find
out all the time that he is cheating, but I
continue to stay in sake of our children. Now, I
know that's not a good reason to stay with him,
but I do know that he loves me, and I
do love him very much. But I want to know
what advice do you have for me? If I should stay,
(04:32):
if I should go, what should I do? Because at
the end of the day, I am also hiding a
secret from him, and the secret is I do not
know if he is the biological father of our first born.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Girl. Okay, Julie, Okay, where do I start in regards
to your relationship with this guy that doesn't know how
to be faithful? That's not love. First of all, you
say he loves me, he doesn't love you enough, because
if he loved you, he'd be faithful. Look if he
was unfaithful once. He cheated once and he apologized, and
(05:08):
you know he's a change man. Okay, stay with him,
but he continues to do this, not only with women
but also with men. I think he has a sex addiction,
that's what it is. And I don't think or see
a future with him, like a healthy future with him
at all. You asked me, what do you think you
should do, whether to stay or to leave? Run Run
(05:30):
the opposite way as fast as you can. That's my advice.
That's what I would tell my sister and my best friend. Run. Yes,
you have kids, but girl, you should not stay with
the man just because you have children. Those children are
going to grow up and they're going to start their
own life, and then you're gonna be what like you're
gonna like realize, oh my god, I stayed all this
time with this man, unhappy, he was cheating, blah blah blah,
(05:52):
and my kids are gone and there goes my life.
You know what I mean. If you are not okay,
you're not gonna be able to be there for your
children and show up for them the way they need
you to because you're not happy. You know what to do.
This is why you're asking me. You know what to do.
You're just afraid, and it's okay to be scared. Do
it afraid, but you need to love yourself more and
leave this person. And if you don't know if the
(06:17):
first child is his, I think you need to tell
him soon and he's probably gonna run the opposite direction
as well. So I think you guys, to be quite honest,
you guys are toxic because you obviously did your share
of cheating as well. You guys both need to just
love each other from afar and understand that you guys
were brought into this world to bring children together or not,
(06:40):
or to raise I don't even know, but this isn't healthy.
It's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for your kids.
It's obviously it's not healthy for him if you don't
know if he's the father of your first born, Babe,
like you have to be open. You have to tell
him sooner rather than later. You need to figure this out,
swab him. I don't know, you got you have to
figured out because it's not fair to your child. So
(07:04):
I'm a masitas. I'm wishing you the best, but please,
there are a few little things in this question that
we need to address, but just fuck it, do it
address them both at the same time. Hey, I can't
be with you anymore. I'm tired of your cheating and
guess what. I think that the first baby is not yours.
So like, let's figure that out because he's gonna be
pretty pissed.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Just know that.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Make sure someone's around because he's not going to be
very happy about that. Ah, Julie sending you a big,
big hug. I hope everything works out all right, Let's
go with the third question. It comes from Miguel.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Hey, Cheekey's.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
My name is Miguel. I'm from New York. I really really,
really really love the person you've become. I've been hearing
your music since I was a kid, since you first started,
since Paloma Blanca. Truly have become a great person, a
great entrepreneur. I want to know if you're ever gonna
(08:05):
come to New York for a concert. Come on, come on,
come on, you need to come party, party, party, puu
pinch your party in New York. Come on, you need
to come twirk it over here. Basically we need It'll
be so much fun. Boys, Thank you so much, keep
up your good work and remember never give up.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Oh my girl, I love you. I feel like I
want to hang out with you. I was just in
New York, I think in April, and I was there
to promote my docu series Chiki sinfieldro and I love
New York. New York is just it's nice, I I
and I do I have to take the amanthis tour
(08:47):
out there. You're absolutely right, But tell all your New Yorkers,
all the you know, all your friends to listen to
my music, and so that way my well, I have
them stream it first of all, and then that way
my record label will see, oh, they're listening to the
music in New York, and then they'll take me out there.
But I do want to go. I went out to
Bronx a few years back and it was freaking amazing.
(09:10):
I didn't get off stage till four in the morning,
So I know New York and party. So I'm gonna
work on that meal. And thank you so much. You
are so sweet. Everything you said just touched my heart.
My little heart. Sending you a big kiss, Papa. Wah. Okay, guys,
So we have a final question and it comes from Christina.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Let's go, Hi, cheeky, I'm from Syntiego. I'm about to
be thirty five really soon. Hi cancer baby, anyway, so
ill question now, Like I suffered from sexual abuse, like
twenty twenty five years ago. Nobody knows but my grandma
because I told her not too long ago, like a
(09:50):
few months ago. Anyway, she thinks I should tell my mom.
I'm fifty to fifty on whether I should or not.
First of all, because it twenty five years since that happened.
And also, even though she's healthy, she's eighty years old.
I don't know if I should tell her anything because
I don't want to be the cause of like her
getting sick or like having a heart attack or anything
(10:11):
like that. I know you went through and like through
this same exact thing. What will you do? Should I
tell her or not? That's my question. I think I should,
but I think I should, And at the same time,
so I'm thorne grandma thinks I should. I don't know.
Thank you so much for the time and for all
you do with this podcast. I love you so much
(10:33):
and I cannot wait to hear your answer.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Love you bye, Christina. Okay, so my first question to
you is if your mom is eighty, then how does
your grandma? Okay, so I'm kind of like, Okay, Well,
either way, I think dang, because your mom is older,
it's tough because yes, we don't want her to get sick.
It also depends who this person was or is that
(10:59):
did this to you. You know what, I don't know.
Usually I'm one to say say it, but you've already
you know, you got it off your chest and you
told your grandma. So it's not like it's something that
I feel like you're healing through and it's not like
a secret that's keeping you feeling down or you know,
(11:21):
because secrets make us feel that way, you know, they
become like toxic in our body. So your grandma already knows.
I think that let your mother enjoy the rest of
her life, the years that God has I think if
you've gone this far without telling her, I think it's
okay not to tell her, you know, just because she
is older and we don't know what it could do
(11:43):
to her, and we just want her to enjoy the
rest of her life and enjoy her you know, you're
healing from this, and just let your grandma know that.
You know. I feel good. You know you've helped me
through this, Grandma. And I don't think it's necessary to
bring this to my mom because we just we don't know.
It could be fifty fifth, it could really make her sick.
She could be fine. We just don't know, and I
(12:03):
don't know if that's a risk that you would want
to take. So usually I'm like, say it, but I
think this time it's okay for you not to say it.
That's my personal advice. Again, whatever your heart tells you.
But if I were you, I would just just let
it be, you know what I mean, especially if you're
healing through it. You sound like you are, you know.
But but yeah, that's my advice. I hope it helps you. Guys,
(12:27):
all of you. Thank you so much for your questions.
I hope that my advice helped in some way. All
I want to do is help Julie. I am praying
for you girl. I hope you make the right decision mama,
for yourself and for your kids. Anyways, you guys, thank
you so much for listening, for watching. I love you, guys.
And if you want to leave me a question, it
could be about anything. It could be about something in
(12:50):
my personal life or in your life, financial friendships, starting
a business, anything and everything. I promise to give you
the best advice from the bottom of my heart because
I have your best interest. Okay, losquiro mucho e los
veo and The Dear Cheeky's Oh.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Look at That.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Wultura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Mike Quiltura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.