Hola, Hola! It’s Wednesday, and that means we’re back with another episode of Dear Chiquis. Thanks to Sammy, Rachel, Monica and an anonymous listener for submitting their questions this week. Today, we hear from a frustrated Sammy who is tired of abiding by her parents’ dating rules; I give you my BEST tip for getting rid of cellulite – for good!; Monica is worried that having a baby will ruin her dream body; and our final listener finds it hard to understand why her mom hasn’t distanced herself from the man who sexually abused her.
Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hi Cheeky's, My name is Sammy. My question to you
is how did you deal with dating? And do I
guess living at your parents' house? That's I guess my
question right now. It's like I have a boyfriend, but
then sometimes the interference with having to be home at
a serving time, or having to let your parents more,
or having to ask your parents like, hey, can I
(01:11):
go do this? Can I do? Mind you?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm twenty six, not that I just started dating, but
I kind of like this is the guy that I
brought to the house for them to meet, and it's
it makes it hard because I am twenty six and
I do live under like whatever rules they have, but
then everybody tells me to but you're twenty six and
it's like, yeah, but my parents are Mexican, so I
(01:33):
wonder if you give me advice on how to deal
with them.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sammy, girl, you're a Latina, especially Mexican households. That's how
my mom was, you live under my roof. You have
to follow my rules. And I was like, well, i'll
pay you rent, and she's like, I don't care even
if you pay rent. Honestly, I know it could be
a little annoying. I know that you, you know, want
to do your thing with your man. But girl, the
(02:00):
fact that you live with your parents and you have
your parents, like, that's a huge blessing. So the advice
I can give you is be grateful. First of all,
be grateful that you have your parents and that they
care about you enough. All they're trying to do is
just protect you from anything happening to you, Like if
there's a curfew. My mom even had a curfew. She's
like anytime after two there's nothing open. But you're like,
(02:22):
so you need to be home before like two o'clock,
and sometimes I had like I had to be home
at twelve. Depending it.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I was living with my mom until I was twenty six,
So I get it. And if you don't like it,
then your other choices move out, you know. But I
think it's a beautiful thing that your parents want you
to live with them, and I'm assuming you're not going
to leave the house until you're married, so they want
to see how serious this person is, especially if this
guy is a first person that you bring to them.
(02:47):
Just take it slow, take it day by day, and
just be grateful honestly.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I know it's can be annoying, and yes, you're twenty six,
but you're living in a Mexican household and that's just
not ever going to change. And they're very traditional and
you can't change that. So just respect what they have
and what they want for you. And if not, then
you got to move al girl, that's the bottom line.
But then that's gonna make them sad, especially if you're
not leaving like married or engaged. And I get it.
(03:14):
Oh my god, there were times where I was like,
oh my goodness, mom, I'm twenty five years old. And
I still have to ask you for permission for everything.
And yeah, but it's a beautiful thing. You know, you
have your parents that love you. So just be patient
and take it day by day. There's no rush. Don't
rush things with this person. Just take it day by day.
That's the best thing I can tell you. Okay. I
hope that helps Sammy, but I get you. I totally understand. Okay.
(03:41):
So our next question comes from Rachel well Ash.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
So my question is more of a beauty question. I
know in the past you have shared treatments you have
used to tone your thighs, legs, but and I would
like to know what has worked best for you as
a Latina like you, I have a bigger bottom half
and we all exercise and eat righte make healthy decisions
(04:06):
to help that. But sometimes it's not enough and you
need the treatments. What has worked best for you?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Ooh, I like this question, Thank you, Rachel. Okay. So,
I know we want like an easy fix because that's
just the world we live in, and we want like
that magic solution. But it's a conjunction of things. I mean,
I've always been bottom heavy, I've always dealt with bigger legs,
and cellulite in the whole thing. And I thought at
(04:32):
my age now getting older was going to get worse,
but it honestly has gotten so much better. But because
I've also become more aware of my health and making
healthier choices. So collagen every day. That's one thing I'm
going to tell you. Collagen for your skin for the tightening,
you know, because at a certain age we stop producing
collagen naturally, men and women, especially women, So always make
(04:53):
sure that you take collagen every day. It's going to
help with your skin, with your bones right, and also
help with cellul like okay, Also I have an anti
cellulite cream from below the skin, if you want to
check it out. That helps. It's not a magic thing.
It's not going to make it go away forever. But
if you're wearing shorts or you're wearing a skirt, you're
going to go to the beach, you can put it on.
If you put it on morning and night every day,
(05:15):
it'll really help diminish and help you have more of
like a toned look and a smooth look. It really
helps me out. I put all over my body. I
put on my tummy, especially if I'm gonna be in
a bikini on my arms, my thighs, my booty, the
whole thing. But more than anything that you could do
or go to, like even a plastic surgeon. Girl, I've
done almost everything for it. What has helped me the
(05:38):
most is getting on the treadmill at least thirty minutes
a day, three times a week, and just walking on
an incline. There's no reason to run. You don't have
to run. People have like this idea of like, I
need a run to lose weight. But if you're trying
to tone and just keep that booty up, I would
suggest getting on the bike, okay, cycling, and also walking
on an incline at least on a ten incline at
(05:59):
a three three point zero speed anywhere from two point
five to three point zero is good, and then bringing
it up, you guys, to fifteen percent inclined. Okay. That's
what's worked the best for me, and I've noticed the
difference in my booty and in my thighs. So I
hope that helps because I've suffered with that my entire life,
and I get it, girl, But the best thing is
exercise and also changing your eating habits. So Rachel, I
(06:22):
hope that helps grow, because I know you probably wanted
to hear like, oh, I can go get this done
and it will help for a little while. But long
term is getting on the treadmill and you don't have
to run. Like I said, take it slow. Okay. So
our next question is from Monica.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Hi, Cheeky's I wanted to get your thoughts right now,
career wise, I'm doing amazing. I'm at the best I've
ever been. I'm making more than I've ever made. I've
made my health a priority. I pretty much have my
dream body right now. I've worked so hard for it.
The problem is that my partner really wants kids, and
(07:02):
I just don't know what to do. I don't want
to risk my career or the body that I work
so hard for. I figured you would understand because right
now your career is really just taking off. You're doing
amazing and you look incredible. Does Amelia pressure you at all?
What are your thoughts? Am I being selfish? I really
(07:24):
don't know what to do?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Oh man, Monica, thank you for being vulnerable, you know,
because uh yeah, like even you asking me if you're
being selfish, I mean some people will see it that way.
Like I get that you know, and people have told
me that too, even my brothers. Actually, they're like, you
just don't want to mess up your body and stuff
like that, and I'm not gonna lie. I've thought about
that and I'm like, dude, I've always suffered with my
(07:48):
weight and finally I'm at my smallest and it's like, oh,
I'm not gonna lie. It scares me, but then I'm like,
you know what the joy that a baby's going to
bring to my life and to a melio it's priceless.
If you worked and I know you worked very hard
and you got your body to where it is now
and your career is thriving and you're doing good your career.
(08:09):
No one can take away from you, girl, because that's
you and you've worked hard for it and no one
can do what you do. Okay. So that's how I
feel as far as my career, and you know, I
don't know what your career is. But for me, I'm like, well,
there's a lot of pregnant singing women. You know, Cardi
b went on stage. So now that doesn't bother me
as much because before it was like no, it's like,
you know, you have to keep your body. It was
(08:29):
different back in the days and now things have changed.
But going back to that, like you can work out
being pregnant, and you don't, there's no reason for you
to gain all that weight. I mean, my cousin didn't
even gain that much. She just had her baby. She
gained eighteen pounds and she's two pounds away from being
what she was before she was pregnant. And she's had
her baby a week ago. She's breastfeeding. So I get it.
(08:52):
Our bodies change, our bodies go through a lot being pregnant.
But girl, I'm sure that you can get your body
back and maintain your body while you're pregnant if you
really love this guy. Emilio doesn't really pressure me. Emilio,
I've told him from the beginning, I'm not sure if
I can or if I want to have kids. And
I was very honest with him from the beginning. And
(09:13):
I don't know if you guys had that conversation, but
if you didn't, then that's something that's going to be
a little bit more difficult. But I was very honest
from the beginning. I'm like, this is my situation. So
he doesn't pressure me. He's like, if we don't have kids.
I'm fine. I love you, I want you forever. I
don't know if that's going to change down the line.
I don't know, but that's what he tells me now.
But if you really love this guy and he really
(09:33):
wants a baby, like you got to think about it, babe.
If you don't want to give it to him, for
whatever reasons, whether they're right or wrong, or if whatever
anyone tells you, if you can't give him what he wants,
you're going to have to let him go. And I'm
going to just be straight up because it's not fair
that he wants something you're not able to give it
(09:54):
to him. So if you don't let him go, then
that's when I'd be like, oh, you're being selfish, Like
if you don't want to give him what he's looking
for and what he really wants, and you guys have
to make a mature decision about going your separate ways,
or you just say, Okay, I love this guy and
he's important to me, and I'm gonna get pregnant and
I'm going to make this work. I'm going to be
healthy while i'm pregnant and work out, and I'm going
to try to keep my body if that's what's really
(10:15):
like the most important thing, but you got to wait out.
That's my true and honest advice. So it's a tough one.
It's a hard pill to swallow, but those are your choices.
So Monica, I want to hear from you. I want
to see what you decided. Okay, so make sure you
tap in with us. You guys know I'm real. I'm
gonna tell he how it is. Girls. So anyways, Monica,
thank you so much. Now, our next question comes from
(10:40):
an anonymous listener.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Hi, Chee Kis.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
So, I was asked aid by one of my mom's brothers,
and obviously it was really rough for me. And when
I finally spoke up about it, my mom was there
for me, but I feel like at the same time.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
She was there for her brother.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
And I think that it really affects me to see
that she still loves on him and cares for him
after everything.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
He put me through.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
And he's the reason that I'm in therapy right now.
And when I first, you know, talked about it, obviously
her whole family was like, well, you deserved it because
of the way you dress, and you know, they try
to justify it on the alcohol and the drugs that
he does. And so, yeah, I don't have any contact
with my mom's family, but obviously I still live with
(11:26):
my mom and I love her. But at the same time,
I have so much anger built up towards her because
I don't know how she can still hang around the
person that hurt me the most. So yeah, thank you
for listening to my question, and it would be great
if you could respond to it.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Ooh, this is a tough one, and I understand why
you didn't give us your name, and I totally respect that.
Oh see, Oh my gosh, this is tough because your
mom is in a very difficult position. Obviously, you're her daughter.
She loves you. This is also her brother, and she
probably has the pressure of her family. I don't know
(12:05):
if as a mother I'd be able to Oh my gosh,
I don't even want to think about it. That's tough
because if I ever have a daughter, and God forbid,
and I know my brothers would never but I can't
even imagine. I can't. So I think you through therapy,
and I'm glad you're going through therapy. That's good. I
think through therapy you're going to find a way to heal,
(12:26):
and once you heal from anything, everything else around you
doesn't affect you as much. So I think you're still
in your healing process that you're gonna be able to
forgive him one hundred percent one day where you're like,
you know what, I'm not gonna make excuses for him.
I'm not going to excuse what he did, but I'm
going to forgive him because I got to the place
(12:46):
where I forgave my dad. It took me a while,
and then I couldn't understand why my sister Jackie still
wanted to have a relationship with him. For a little bit,
I was like a little offended. But then after going
through therapy and I'm like, you know what, I guess
I'm not one hundred percent here from this. But once
I was continuing with therapy and life coaching, now I
don't care. Now I'm like, sister, that's your dad. You
(13:08):
can absolutely have a relationship with him. I'm not going
to hold it against you because what happened to me
didn't happen to you. And if you still want to
have a relationship, I'm going to respect that. But that
came with healing, babe, which is why I'm telling you
continue with therapy, heal, and try to be compassionate with
your mom because it's still her brother and she loves him,
and she obviously loves you, So I think it's just
(13:32):
healing and also being compassionate and understanding her and trying
not to hold her resentment towards her, try to understand her, like,
let her go through her process. And one thing I
will tell you, your family members that told you that it
was your fault because of the way you dress f them,
I'm sorry f them all because that's not true. So
I don't ever, ever, ever let that get into your
(13:53):
head and make you feel like you're at fault. Absolutely not.
What he did was wrong, whether he was on drug
ugs or drinking or not. He needs to go to
a rehab, and they need to take him to a rehab,
all of them, instead of trying to blame other people
for what he did to you. Absolutely not. That's one
thing that I'm not going to tolerate. So they need
to worry about getting him some freaking help. Because if
(14:15):
you're still drinking all this stuff like, you're probably not
the only person that has happened to So they need
to do what they need to do their due diligence
in stopping him from doing this to someone else. But
as far as you're healing, pray for strength and to
be able to forgive your mom because you don't want
to hold that resentment, Babe, that's going to make that's
toxic for you. And you need to find it in
your heart to forgive him, because forgiving is not a
(14:37):
gift for him, it's not a favor for him, it's
for yourself. You take the power away from him. Does
that make sense? Forgiving gives you so much liberty and
so much power. Girl, This conversation is just I don't know.
I'm sending you a big hug, and I'm wishing healing
to you, and I pray that this therapy helps you
(14:58):
heal in every single way because you deserve it is
not your fault what happened to you. Okay, So you guys, Wow,
these questions were very heavy, some of them, and I
feel just step down inside my heart and soul that
I don't know. I'm so happy and grateful that we
have dear cheekis. And then you guys take the time
to send me your questions. Everyone who's listening right now,
and is struggling with something. I'm here for you in
(15:20):
any way that I possibly can help you. I am
here if you want to get more advice you guys
please leave your questions at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys,
and Chill Podcast. Thank you guys for listening. I love
you guys so much and I'm sending you all a
big hug. Okay. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
(15:41):
the Microluda podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Lura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i
q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Hi Cheeky's, My name is Sammy. My question to you
is how did you deal with dating? And do I
guess living at your parents' house? That's I guess my
question right now. It's like I have a boyfriend, but
then sometimes the interference with having to be home at
a serving time, or having to let your parents more,
or having to ask your parents like, hey, can I
(01:11):
go do this? Can I do? Mind you?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I'm twenty six, not that I just started dating, but
I kind of like this is the guy that I
brought to the house for them to meet, and it's
it makes it hard because I am twenty six and
I do live under like whatever rules they have, but
then everybody tells me to but you're twenty six and
it's like, yeah, but my parents are Mexican, so I
(01:33):
wonder if you give me advice on how to deal
with them.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Sammy, girl, you're a Latina, especially Mexican households. That's how
my mom was, you live under my roof. You have
to follow my rules. And I was like, well, i'll
pay you rent, and she's like, I don't care even
if you pay rent. Honestly, I know it could be
a little annoying. I know that you, you know, want
to do your thing with your man. But girl, the
(02:00):
fact that you live with your parents and you have
your parents, like, that's a huge blessing. So the advice
I can give you is be grateful. First of all,
be grateful that you have your parents and that they
care about you enough. All they're trying to do is
just protect you from anything happening to you, Like if
there's a curfew. My mom even had a curfew. She's
like anytime after two there's nothing open. But you're like,
(02:22):
so you need to be home before like two o'clock,
and sometimes I had like I had to be home
at twelve. Depending it.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I was living with my mom until I was twenty six,
So I get it. And if you don't like it,
then your other choices move out, you know. But I
think it's a beautiful thing that your parents want you
to live with them, and I'm assuming you're not going
to leave the house until you're married, so they want
to see how serious this person is, especially if this
guy is a first person that you bring to them.
(02:47):
Just take it slow, take it day by day, and
just be grateful honestly.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I know it's can be annoying, and yes, you're twenty six,
but you're living in a Mexican household and that's just
not ever going to change. And they're very traditional and
you can't change that. So just respect what they have
and what they want for you. And if not, then
you got to move al girl, that's the bottom line.
But then that's gonna make them sad, especially if you're
not leaving like married or engaged. And I get it.
(03:14):
Oh my god, there were times where I was like,
oh my goodness, mom, I'm twenty five years old. And
I still have to ask you for permission for everything.
And yeah, but it's a beautiful thing. You know, you
have your parents that love you. So just be patient
and take it day by day. There's no rush. Don't
rush things with this person. Just take it day by day.
That's the best thing I can tell you. Okay. I
hope that helps Sammy, but I get you. I totally understand. Okay.
(03:41):
So our next question comes from Rachel well Ash.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
So my question is more of a beauty question. I
know in the past you have shared treatments you have
used to tone your thighs, legs, but and I would
like to know what has worked best for you as
a Latina like you, I have a bigger bottom half
and we all exercise and eat righte make healthy decisions
(04:06):
to help that. But sometimes it's not enough and you
need the treatments. What has worked best for you?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Ooh, I like this question, Thank you, Rachel. Okay. So,
I know we want like an easy fix because that's
just the world we live in, and we want like
that magic solution. But it's a conjunction of things. I mean,
I've always been bottom heavy, I've always dealt with bigger legs,
and cellulite in the whole thing. And I thought at
(04:32):
my age now getting older was going to get worse,
but it honestly has gotten so much better. But because
I've also become more aware of my health and making
healthier choices. So collagen every day. That's one thing I'm
going to tell you. Collagen for your skin for the tightening,
you know, because at a certain age we stop producing
collagen naturally, men and women, especially women, So always make
(04:53):
sure that you take collagen every day. It's going to
help with your skin, with your bones right, and also
help with cellul like okay, Also I have an anti
cellulite cream from below the skin, if you want to
check it out. That helps. It's not a magic thing.
It's not going to make it go away forever. But
if you're wearing shorts or you're wearing a skirt, you're
going to go to the beach, you can put it on.
If you put it on morning and night every day,
(05:15):
it'll really help diminish and help you have more of
like a toned look and a smooth look. It really
helps me out. I put all over my body. I
put on my tummy, especially if I'm gonna be in
a bikini on my arms, my thighs, my booty, the
whole thing. But more than anything that you could do
or go to, like even a plastic surgeon. Girl, I've
done almost everything for it. What has helped me the
(05:38):
most is getting on the treadmill at least thirty minutes
a day, three times a week, and just walking on
an incline. There's no reason to run. You don't have
to run. People have like this idea of like, I
need a run to lose weight. But if you're trying
to tone and just keep that booty up, I would
suggest getting on the bike, okay, cycling, and also walking
on an incline at least on a ten incline at
(05:59):
a three three point zero speed anywhere from two point
five to three point zero is good, and then bringing
it up, you guys, to fifteen percent inclined. Okay. That's
what's worked the best for me, and I've noticed the
difference in my booty and in my thighs. So I
hope that helps because I've suffered with that my entire life,
and I get it, girl, But the best thing is
exercise and also changing your eating habits. So Rachel, I
(06:22):
hope that helps grow, because I know you probably wanted
to hear like, oh, I can go get this done
and it will help for a little while. But long
term is getting on the treadmill and you don't have
to run. Like I said, take it slow. Okay. So
our next question is from Monica.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Hi, Cheeky's I wanted to get your thoughts right now,
career wise, I'm doing amazing. I'm at the best I've
ever been. I'm making more than I've ever made. I've
made my health a priority. I pretty much have my
dream body right now. I've worked so hard for it.
The problem is that my partner really wants kids, and
(07:02):
I just don't know what to do. I don't want
to risk my career or the body that I work
so hard for. I figured you would understand because right
now your career is really just taking off. You're doing
amazing and you look incredible. Does Amelia pressure you at all?
What are your thoughts? Am I being selfish? I really
(07:24):
don't know what to do?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Oh man, Monica, thank you for being vulnerable, you know,
because uh yeah, like even you asking me if you're
being selfish, I mean some people will see it that way.
Like I get that you know, and people have told
me that too, even my brothers. Actually, they're like, you
just don't want to mess up your body and stuff
like that, and I'm not gonna lie. I've thought about
that and I'm like, dude, I've always suffered with my
(07:48):
weight and finally I'm at my smallest and it's like, oh,
I'm not gonna lie. It scares me, but then I'm like,
you know what the joy that a baby's going to
bring to my life and to a melio it's priceless.
If you worked and I know you worked very hard
and you got your body to where it is now
and your career is thriving and you're doing good your career.
(08:09):
No one can take away from you, girl, because that's
you and you've worked hard for it and no one
can do what you do. Okay. So that's how I
feel as far as my career, and you know, I
don't know what your career is. But for me, I'm like, well,
there's a lot of pregnant singing women. You know, Cardi
b went on stage. So now that doesn't bother me
as much because before it was like no, it's like,
you know, you have to keep your body. It was
(08:29):
different back in the days and now things have changed.
But going back to that, like you can work out
being pregnant, and you don't, there's no reason for you
to gain all that weight. I mean, my cousin didn't
even gain that much. She just had her baby. She
gained eighteen pounds and she's two pounds away from being
what she was before she was pregnant. And she's had
her baby a week ago. She's breastfeeding. So I get it.
(08:52):
Our bodies change, our bodies go through a lot being pregnant.
But girl, I'm sure that you can get your body
back and maintain your body while you're pregnant if you
really love this guy. Emilio doesn't really pressure me. Emilio,
I've told him from the beginning, I'm not sure if
I can or if I want to have kids. And
I was very honest with him from the beginning. And
(09:13):
I don't know if you guys had that conversation, but
if you didn't, then that's something that's going to be
a little bit more difficult. But I was very honest
from the beginning. I'm like, this is my situation. So
he doesn't pressure me. He's like, if we don't have kids.
I'm fine. I love you, I want you forever. I
don't know if that's going to change down the line.
I don't know, but that's what he tells me now.
But if you really love this guy and he really
(09:33):
wants a baby, like you got to think about it, babe.
If you don't want to give it to him, for
whatever reasons, whether they're right or wrong, or if whatever
anyone tells you, if you can't give him what he wants,
you're going to have to let him go. And I'm
going to just be straight up because it's not fair
that he wants something you're not able to give it
(09:54):
to him. So if you don't let him go, then
that's when I'd be like, oh, you're being selfish, Like
if you don't want to give him what he's looking
for and what he really wants, and you guys have
to make a mature decision about going your separate ways,
or you just say, Okay, I love this guy and
he's important to me, and I'm gonna get pregnant and
I'm going to make this work. I'm going to be
healthy while i'm pregnant and work out, and I'm going
to try to keep my body if that's what's really
(10:15):
like the most important thing, but you got to wait out.
That's my true and honest advice. So it's a tough one.
It's a hard pill to swallow, but those are your choices.
So Monica, I want to hear from you. I want
to see what you decided. Okay, so make sure you
tap in with us. You guys know I'm real. I'm
gonna tell he how it is. Girls. So anyways, Monica,
thank you so much. Now, our next question comes from
(10:40):
an anonymous listener.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Hi, Chee Kis.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
So, I was asked aid by one of my mom's brothers,
and obviously it was really rough for me. And when
I finally spoke up about it, my mom was there
for me, but I feel like at the same time.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
She was there for her brother.
Speaker 6 (10:56):
And I think that it really affects me to see
that she still loves on him and cares for him
after everything.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
He put me through.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
And he's the reason that I'm in therapy right now.
And when I first, you know, talked about it, obviously
her whole family was like, well, you deserved it because
of the way you dress, and you know, they try
to justify it on the alcohol and the drugs that
he does. And so, yeah, I don't have any contact
with my mom's family, but obviously I still live with
(11:26):
my mom and I love her. But at the same time,
I have so much anger built up towards her because
I don't know how she can still hang around the
person that hurt me the most. So yeah, thank you
for listening to my question, and it would be great
if you could respond to it.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Ooh, this is a tough one, and I understand why
you didn't give us your name, and I totally respect that.
Oh see, Oh my gosh, this is tough because your
mom is in a very difficult position. Obviously, you're her daughter.
She loves you. This is also her brother, and she
probably has the pressure of her family. I don't know
(12:05):
if as a mother I'd be able to Oh my gosh,
I don't even want to think about it. That's tough
because if I ever have a daughter, and God forbid,
and I know my brothers would never but I can't
even imagine. I can't. So I think you through therapy,
and I'm glad you're going through therapy. That's good. I
think through therapy you're going to find a way to heal,
(12:26):
and once you heal from anything, everything else around you
doesn't affect you as much. So I think you're still
in your healing process that you're gonna be able to
forgive him one hundred percent one day where you're like,
you know what, I'm not gonna make excuses for him.
I'm not going to excuse what he did, but I'm
going to forgive him because I got to the place
(12:46):
where I forgave my dad. It took me a while,
and then I couldn't understand why my sister Jackie still
wanted to have a relationship with him. For a little bit,
I was like a little offended. But then after going
through therapy and I'm like, you know what, I guess
I'm not one hundred percent here from this. But once
I was continuing with therapy and life coaching, now I
don't care. Now I'm like, sister, that's your dad. You
(13:08):
can absolutely have a relationship with him. I'm not going
to hold it against you because what happened to me
didn't happen to you. And if you still want to
have a relationship, I'm going to respect that. But that
came with healing, babe, which is why I'm telling you
continue with therapy, heal, and try to be compassionate with
your mom because it's still her brother and she loves him,
and she obviously loves you, So I think it's just
(13:32):
healing and also being compassionate and understanding her and trying
not to hold her resentment towards her, try to understand her, like,
let her go through her process. And one thing I
will tell you, your family members that told you that it
was your fault because of the way you dress f them,
I'm sorry f them all because that's not true. So
I don't ever, ever, ever let that get into your
(13:53):
head and make you feel like you're at fault. Absolutely not.
What he did was wrong, whether he was on drug
ugs or drinking or not. He needs to go to
a rehab, and they need to take him to a rehab,
all of them, instead of trying to blame other people
for what he did to you. Absolutely not. That's one
thing that I'm not going to tolerate. So they need
to worry about getting him some freaking help. Because if
(14:15):
you're still drinking all this stuff like, you're probably not
the only person that has happened to So they need
to do what they need to do their due diligence
in stopping him from doing this to someone else. But
as far as you're healing, pray for strength and to
be able to forgive your mom because you don't want
to hold that resentment, Babe, that's going to make that's
toxic for you. And you need to find it in
your heart to forgive him, because forgiving is not a
(14:37):
gift for him, it's not a favor for him, it's
for yourself. You take the power away from him. Does
that make sense? Forgiving gives you so much liberty and
so much power. Girl, This conversation is just I don't know.
I'm sending you a big hug, and I'm wishing healing
to you, and I pray that this therapy helps you
(14:58):
heal in every single way because you deserve it is
not your fault what happened to you. Okay, So you guys, Wow,
these questions were very heavy, some of them, and I
feel just step down inside my heart and soul that
I don't know. I'm so happy and grateful that we
have dear cheekis. And then you guys take the time
to send me your questions. Everyone who's listening right now,
and is struggling with something. I'm here for you in
(15:20):
any way that I possibly can help you. I am
here if you want to get more advice you guys
please leave your questions at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheekys,
and Chill Podcast. Thank you guys for listening. I love
you guys so much and I'm sending you all a
big hug. Okay. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
(15:41):
the Microluda podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Lura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i
q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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