April 26, 2023 • 12 mins
Hola, Hola! It’s Wednesday, and that means we’re back with another episode of Dear Chiquis. Thanks to Amanda, Alejandra, Sabrina and Claudia for their questions. This week, we cover everything from first steps to buying a home, coming to terms with the fact that you might not always get the answers you’re looking for (and why that’s ok), the importance of self-discipline, and why we should stop worrying so much.
A reminder to all my listeners: These are my thoughts and opinions and I encourage you to seek help from a qualified professional if you’re suffering an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention.
Submit your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
My name is Amanda. I want to say I love
this podcast. I went back to listen to all episodes
and I am honestly obsessed. Any who question is. In
one of your episodes, you mentioned you recently bought your
own home. Congrats. I want to know where I should start.
(01:10):
I don't know if I should maybe go see a
realtor if I should go to the bank and maybe
see about alone. How much I qualify. My credit is perfect,
that's not an issue, but when it comes to buying
a home, I have nowhere to start. If you can,
please answer me questioned and let me know how you
(01:33):
started this whole process. I would really appreciate it. Love
you bye, Amanda.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Thank you so much for being a Cheeky's and Chill fan.
We are so excited to have you. Thank you, thank
you for the feedback. It means a lot in regards
to your question. Okay, so the first thing the fact
that you have good credit. Girl, You're in So many
people do not understand the fact that having good credit
is even better than having millions of dollars in your
(02:02):
bank account, because it doesn't matter if you have millions
of dollars. If your credit isn't on point, your fical
score isn't high the bank, no one's going to trust
you with a home with their kind of line. No,
this person isn't responsible. That's what our credit score is.
You guys, that's a whole other episode. But that is awesome. Now,
the first step would be finding a realtor, finding a
(02:23):
good realtor in your area, and then they can help
you find a broker and if you need a loan,
then they have different banks or a broker can help
you get a loan from a bank. So first step
is finding a realtor, letting them know what you're looking for,
your budget. They'll help you depending on how much money
you make. They'll tell you, Okay, you can buy a
house in this range, so on and so forth. So, Amanda,
(02:44):
I think that's awesome that you want to purchase your
own home. That's great, and yeah, I'm wishing you the best.
So hopefully my advice helps. So find yourself a realtor, okay,
and they will guide you. And good job on having
good credit. That is so sexy girl. Okay, looks like
Alejandra is up next. I wonder what her question is.
Let's sear it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Hello, Chicky's first of all, girl, it was nice seeing
you at the Spool Latina Summit last year. Hopefully you
come back to Houston very soon. We want to get
drunk anyway. So I had a best friend for so
many years. We fell apart after I got married and
started having kids. We kind of no longer shared, you know,
(03:25):
the same things, and we fell apart and we never
had like a closure. Recently, I saw that her uncle
had passed away, and the way it happened it was
very tragic. So I prayed about it and I reached
out to her, and whenever I saw the message, she
read it and she blocked me, and it made me
(03:48):
wonder like, what did I do wrong? You know, like
I just started life and I needed to happen. But
I also find out that she's lesbian and I never
knew that, So now it makes me wonder like was
she in love with me? Or what is it that
I did? And you know, my question is like, how
(04:11):
do you just get your own closure since I can
really get it from her? You know, well, thank you
so much for listening.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Alejandrasa Aluito's all the way to Age Town. I love
it over there, such a good time. AnyWho, I completely
understand what we're talking about. Alei. It kind of happened
to me, so I get it. Sometimes it's better not
to know the answer. Sometimes it's just better to say, well,
this person was meant to be in my life during
(04:41):
this time of my life, and now moving forward, maybe
she's not and perhaps she was in love with you,
and I'm sure you're an amazing person, so I don't
blame her, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think
maybe she also feels like she's in a different season
of her life as well, and I don't think it's embarrassment,
but maybe she kind of wants to get away from
her old life. Perhaps I don't know. I mean, we're
(05:04):
never going to know exactly what it is. But I
think as long as you know I was a good friend,
I didn't do anything wrong. And if she blocked you,
then she's certainly not ready to have that conversation with you,
and that's okay too. You kind of have to just
respect that. And I think you did really well with
sending her a message and saying, hey, I hope everything's okay,
(05:24):
like checking in on her. I think that shows a
lot about who you are. So just respect the fact
that she right now doesn't feel like talking, and you
just have to be at peace with who you are
and the friend that you were to her, and you
know that you didn't do anything wrong and you just
wanted to start your life, and that's okay. I mean,
just wish her the best and maybe always in your heart, no, okay,
(05:46):
if she ever wants to come and talk to me,
then my doors, the doors to my heart, the doors
to my home will always be open. But I think
you're good. I think you're good. I think it's more
on like what she's feeling and what she's going through,
so don't take it personally. Okay. Hope that that helped. Okay,
now let's hear from Sabrina.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Hi, Cheekiese. I just want to say, first and foremost,
thank you for all that you do. You are super
inspiring and I love you. You have a very big
fan here. But I just wanted advice because I'm torn
in between two things. I would really like to become
an actor. It's always been my dream since I was
a little girl. I remember like being a little girl
and I wrote like at school they asked like what
(06:31):
you wanted as a career, and I wrote an actress.
And I would at least like to die knowing that
I at least tried to become an actor. But my
father saysn't very inconsistent, and I agree. I'm very uncommitted,
like I like to back out on things, and I
can be very flaky, and that is one quality I
hate about myself. So I've I've been thinking about the
Marines as well, because I feel like I can be
(06:54):
taught skills for life, especially like my inconsistency. So yeah,
I'm really or like I don't know if I should
get started on trying to become an actress sor if
I should take the step into going into the Marines
so that I can really grow myself. And I think
them going into the Marines would help.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Thank you, Sabrina.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You sound very mature. I wish I knew how old
you were. But the fact that you are vulnerable enough
to say that out loud, the things that you don't
like about yourself or that you want to work on,
that's awesome, Mama. That's powerful, and that's good that you
were aware of it and that you accept it, because
that's the only way that you're going to actually make
a change now. I think going into the Marines is
(07:35):
very honorable and you are servicing us all so the
fact that you're just thinking about that, thank you. Definitely.
In anything that you want to do, it doesn't matter
what it is. I can't say it enough. Discipline and
routine are huge, and when it comes to acting, it's
even more so because you need to be focused, you
need to learn your lines like it's a hard job.
(07:56):
But I think absolutely you're absolutely right. You need to
try it for sure, take the risk, and I'm always
that person that says I'd rather try it and fail
at it than to live my life and know that
I never did it because I was afraid, because I
didn't believe in myself, so on and so forth. Now,
going back to the Marines, they will definitely teach you
discipline like big time. So if you feel that right
(08:17):
now you sound young to me, I don't know, But
if you have that time and you are considering going
into the Marines, I wouldn't say not to do it.
I think it would be a good thing. Especially the Marines.
They teach you, like I said, routine discipline, you have
to wake up early, like that's huge. And then maybe
you can still take classes now even on YouTube, and
I'm telling you YouTube, we could do everything on YouTube,
(08:38):
even on TikTok. So while you're at the Marines, you
can still learn certain traits and certain things in regards
to acting. But I think they're both great and I
support you either way. You go, just do it and
just try it, Okay, Sabrina, thank you for your question,
sending you a big big hug. All right, looks like
(09:01):
our final question comes from.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Claudia hi Chiki's I am a huge fan of yours.
I recently became a fan of your mama's and then
subsequently became a fan of yours. I want to thank
you first and foremost for sharing your light with the
world and all your goodness. You have inspired me in
so many ways. You inspired me to start going to therapy,
(09:24):
and in a recent session with my therapist, she pointed
out to me that worrying is not caring about people.
Worrying is my anxiety. So I was wondering what kind
of advice you can give me for caring for people
without worrying about them. Thank you so much again for
(09:45):
your time, and I just wanted to also let you know.
You know that saying never meet your heroes because they
will disappoint you. You are the complete opposite of that.
I had the privilege of meeting you at a meet
and Greek that your concert in La recently. My sister
surprised me with that, and you are everything and more.
(10:06):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh Claudia, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you, Oh
my god, thank you. Welcome to the family. I know
you just said that you recently became a fan of
my mom's and of mine, and thank you so much.
Thank you for going to my concert. Tell your friend
I said, thank you for taking you. That means a lot.
Oh my God, you made my heart feel off, fuzzy
and warm inside. So in regards to your question, I
(10:28):
have been a worry bug since forever, and I've learned,
I think, in the past few years not to worry.
Like your therapist said, worrying is worrying about something that
hasn't even happened. That's what causes anxiety, you know, So
I totally get you. I'm the one that worries about
my sisters and my all my siblings and their kids
and what if like they're not watching them. It's all
these thoughts that we create in our mind that don't
(10:50):
haven't even happened, that don't even exist. So I think
what has helped me is leaving them in God's hands,
Like I'm like, God, please take care of my siblings,
take care of their and their homes while they're driving. Lord,
take care of them, like I leave them in your hands,
like literally saying it out loud and envisioning, like I'm
putting the people that I'm worrying about in your hands,
and it just takes this weight off your shoulders. And
(11:12):
you feel like, ah, like there's nothing we can do
about it. It's just trusting life and trusting destiny and
the universe and of course God, as simple as that. Like, honestly,
that's what has helped me. And even at night when
I'm worrying about like one of my brothers, he's out
and he's drinking, and I'm like, I always tell him,
don't drink and drive, and he won't, but I'm like,
what if he gets like crazy? And all I got
(11:33):
to do is send a text, Hey, don't drink and drive.
I love you, be careful. That's it. And I'm like, God,
he's in your hands, and it helps me so much
just saying that. So Claudia, I hope that helps. And honestly,
worry brings so much sickness to our mind, to our soul.
So I know it's a lot easier said than done,
but you just got to shake it off. Literally, just
(11:55):
shake that shit off. Oh no, we got this, okay.
So thank you, Thank you guys, Amanda, Alejandra, Sabrina, and Claudia.
I love hearing each and every one of your voices
and I love helping you sort through your issues. I
really do feel like I'm your big sister or best friend.
So thank you guys. Now you can leave a voice
note detailing your issue at speakpipe dot com, slash Chikys
(12:17):
and Chill podcast. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i
(12:38):
q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,
whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
(00:40):
from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave
your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
My name is Amanda. I want to say I love
this podcast. I went back to listen to all episodes
and I am honestly obsessed. Any who question is. In
one of your episodes, you mentioned you recently bought your
own home. Congrats. I want to know where I should start.
(01:10):
I don't know if I should maybe go see a
realtor if I should go to the bank and maybe
see about alone. How much I qualify. My credit is perfect,
that's not an issue, but when it comes to buying
a home, I have nowhere to start. If you can,
please answer me questioned and let me know how you
(01:33):
started this whole process. I would really appreciate it. Love
you bye, Amanda.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Thank you so much for being a Cheeky's and Chill fan.
We are so excited to have you. Thank you, thank
you for the feedback. It means a lot in regards
to your question. Okay, so the first thing the fact
that you have good credit. Girl, You're in So many
people do not understand the fact that having good credit
is even better than having millions of dollars in your
(02:02):
bank account, because it doesn't matter if you have millions
of dollars. If your credit isn't on point, your fical
score isn't high the bank, no one's going to trust
you with a home with their kind of line. No,
this person isn't responsible. That's what our credit score is.
You guys, that's a whole other episode. But that is awesome. Now,
the first step would be finding a realtor, finding a
(02:23):
good realtor in your area, and then they can help
you find a broker and if you need a loan,
then they have different banks or a broker can help
you get a loan from a bank. So first step
is finding a realtor, letting them know what you're looking for,
your budget. They'll help you depending on how much money
you make. They'll tell you, Okay, you can buy a
house in this range, so on and so forth. So, Amanda,
(02:44):
I think that's awesome that you want to purchase your
own home. That's great, and yeah, I'm wishing you the best.
So hopefully my advice helps. So find yourself a realtor, okay,
and they will guide you. And good job on having
good credit. That is so sexy girl. Okay, looks like
Alejandra is up next. I wonder what her question is.
Let's sear it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Hello, Chicky's first of all, girl, it was nice seeing
you at the Spool Latina Summit last year. Hopefully you
come back to Houston very soon. We want to get
drunk anyway. So I had a best friend for so
many years. We fell apart after I got married and
started having kids. We kind of no longer shared, you know,
(03:25):
the same things, and we fell apart and we never
had like a closure. Recently, I saw that her uncle
had passed away, and the way it happened it was
very tragic. So I prayed about it and I reached
out to her, and whenever I saw the message, she
read it and she blocked me, and it made me
(03:48):
wonder like, what did I do wrong? You know, like
I just started life and I needed to happen. But
I also find out that she's lesbian and I never
knew that, So now it makes me wonder like was
she in love with me? Or what is it that
I did? And you know, my question is like, how
(04:11):
do you just get your own closure since I can
really get it from her? You know, well, thank you
so much for listening.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Alejandrasa Aluito's all the way to Age Town. I love
it over there, such a good time. AnyWho, I completely
understand what we're talking about. Alei. It kind of happened
to me, so I get it. Sometimes it's better not
to know the answer. Sometimes it's just better to say, well,
this person was meant to be in my life during
(04:41):
this time of my life, and now moving forward, maybe
she's not and perhaps she was in love with you,
and I'm sure you're an amazing person, so I don't
blame her, and there's nothing wrong with that. I think
maybe she also feels like she's in a different season
of her life as well, and I don't think it's embarrassment,
but maybe she kind of wants to get away from
her old life. Perhaps I don't know. I mean, we're
(05:04):
never going to know exactly what it is. But I
think as long as you know I was a good friend,
I didn't do anything wrong. And if she blocked you,
then she's certainly not ready to have that conversation with you,
and that's okay too. You kind of have to just
respect that. And I think you did really well with
sending her a message and saying, hey, I hope everything's okay,
(05:24):
like checking in on her. I think that shows a
lot about who you are. So just respect the fact
that she right now doesn't feel like talking, and you
just have to be at peace with who you are
and the friend that you were to her, and you
know that you didn't do anything wrong and you just
wanted to start your life, and that's okay. I mean,
just wish her the best and maybe always in your heart, no, okay,
(05:46):
if she ever wants to come and talk to me,
then my doors, the doors to my heart, the doors
to my home will always be open. But I think
you're good. I think you're good. I think it's more
on like what she's feeling and what she's going through,
so don't take it personally. Okay. Hope that that helped. Okay,
now let's hear from Sabrina.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Hi, Cheekiese. I just want to say, first and foremost,
thank you for all that you do. You are super
inspiring and I love you. You have a very big
fan here. But I just wanted advice because I'm torn
in between two things. I would really like to become
an actor. It's always been my dream since I was
a little girl. I remember like being a little girl
and I wrote like at school they asked like what
(06:31):
you wanted as a career, and I wrote an actress.
And I would at least like to die knowing that
I at least tried to become an actor. But my
father saysn't very inconsistent, and I agree. I'm very uncommitted,
like I like to back out on things, and I
can be very flaky, and that is one quality I
hate about myself. So I've I've been thinking about the
Marines as well, because I feel like I can be
(06:54):
taught skills for life, especially like my inconsistency. So yeah,
I'm really or like I don't know if I should
get started on trying to become an actress sor if
I should take the step into going into the Marines
so that I can really grow myself. And I think
them going into the Marines would help.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Thank you, Sabrina.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You sound very mature. I wish I knew how old
you were. But the fact that you are vulnerable enough
to say that out loud, the things that you don't
like about yourself or that you want to work on,
that's awesome, Mama. That's powerful, and that's good that you
were aware of it and that you accept it, because
that's the only way that you're going to actually make
a change now. I think going into the Marines is
(07:35):
very honorable and you are servicing us all so the
fact that you're just thinking about that, thank you. Definitely.
In anything that you want to do, it doesn't matter
what it is. I can't say it enough. Discipline and
routine are huge, and when it comes to acting, it's
even more so because you need to be focused, you
need to learn your lines like it's a hard job.
(07:56):
But I think absolutely you're absolutely right. You need to
try it for sure, take the risk, and I'm always
that person that says I'd rather try it and fail
at it than to live my life and know that
I never did it because I was afraid, because I
didn't believe in myself, so on and so forth. Now,
going back to the Marines, they will definitely teach you
discipline like big time. So if you feel that right
(08:17):
now you sound young to me, I don't know, But
if you have that time and you are considering going
into the Marines, I wouldn't say not to do it.
I think it would be a good thing. Especially the Marines.
They teach you, like I said, routine discipline, you have
to wake up early, like that's huge. And then maybe
you can still take classes now even on YouTube, and
I'm telling you YouTube, we could do everything on YouTube,
(08:38):
even on TikTok. So while you're at the Marines, you
can still learn certain traits and certain things in regards
to acting. But I think they're both great and I
support you either way. You go, just do it and
just try it, Okay, Sabrina, thank you for your question,
sending you a big big hug. All right, looks like
(09:01):
our final question comes from.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Claudia hi Chiki's I am a huge fan of yours.
I recently became a fan of your mama's and then
subsequently became a fan of yours. I want to thank
you first and foremost for sharing your light with the
world and all your goodness. You have inspired me in
so many ways. You inspired me to start going to therapy,
(09:24):
and in a recent session with my therapist, she pointed
out to me that worrying is not caring about people.
Worrying is my anxiety. So I was wondering what kind
of advice you can give me for caring for people
without worrying about them. Thank you so much again for
(09:45):
your time, and I just wanted to also let you know.
You know that saying never meet your heroes because they
will disappoint you. You are the complete opposite of that.
I had the privilege of meeting you at a meet
and Greek that your concert in La recently. My sister
surprised me with that, and you are everything and more.
(10:06):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Oh Claudia, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you, Oh
my god, thank you. Welcome to the family. I know
you just said that you recently became a fan of
my mom's and of mine, and thank you so much.
Thank you for going to my concert. Tell your friend
I said, thank you for taking you. That means a lot.
Oh my God, you made my heart feel off, fuzzy
and warm inside. So in regards to your question, I
(10:28):
have been a worry bug since forever, and I've learned,
I think, in the past few years not to worry.
Like your therapist said, worrying is worrying about something that
hasn't even happened. That's what causes anxiety, you know, So
I totally get you. I'm the one that worries about
my sisters and my all my siblings and their kids
and what if like they're not watching them. It's all
these thoughts that we create in our mind that don't
(10:50):
haven't even happened, that don't even exist. So I think
what has helped me is leaving them in God's hands,
Like I'm like, God, please take care of my siblings,
take care of their and their homes while they're driving. Lord,
take care of them, like I leave them in your hands,
like literally saying it out loud and envisioning, like I'm
putting the people that I'm worrying about in your hands,
and it just takes this weight off your shoulders. And
(11:12):
you feel like, ah, like there's nothing we can do
about it. It's just trusting life and trusting destiny and
the universe and of course God, as simple as that. Like, honestly,
that's what has helped me. And even at night when
I'm worrying about like one of my brothers, he's out
and he's drinking, and I'm like, I always tell him,
don't drink and drive, and he won't, but I'm like,
what if he gets like crazy? And all I got
(11:33):
to do is send a text, Hey, don't drink and drive.
I love you, be careful. That's it. And I'm like, God,
he's in your hands, and it helps me so much
just saying that. So Claudia, I hope that helps. And honestly,
worry brings so much sickness to our mind, to our soul.
So I know it's a lot easier said than done,
but you just got to shake it off. Literally, just
(11:55):
shake that shit off. Oh no, we got this, okay.
So thank you, Thank you guys, Amanda, Alejandra, Sabrina, and Claudia.
I love hearing each and every one of your voices
and I love helping you sort through your issues. I
really do feel like I'm your big sister or best friend.
So thank you guys. Now you can leave a voice
note detailing your issue at speakpipe dot com, slash Chikys
(12:17):
and Chill podcast. This is a production of iHeartRadio and
the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i
(12:38):
q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite podcast, and check us out on YouTube.
Host
Chiquis
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