August 3, 2022 • 11 mins
In my first episode of “Dear Chiquis,” I keep it neta, giving my honest advice to three listeners. Tune in as I discuss whether we should distance ourselves from people who are no longer serving us, whether infidelity should be forgiven, and what to do if you develop feelings for someone who is already in a relationship. I’ll be answering your questions every Wednesday. Submit yours at Speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast.
A reminder to all my listeners that these are my thoughts and opinions on the questions that are being submitted. I encourage everyone to seek help from a professional if you’re suffering an issue or hardship that requires immediate attention.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
M hm. Hi everyone, and welcome to Dear cheek Ees.
This is a brandow addition to my Chickens and Chill podcast,
and if you haven't heard it, go check it out.
Those episodes are longer and more depth. But here on
(00:23):
Dear Cheeks, I'm connecting with you on a deeper level.
It's just me and you. Each week I'll be answering
your questions on love, relationships, and so much more. Submit
your questions at speak pipe dot com slash cheek Ease
and Chill Podcast. Okay, so now that you know what
to expect on this show, let's press play and get
into the first question. Hi, good morning, cheek Ees. My
(00:46):
name is Antonio, one of your boss fees from Orange County.
My question for you is what are your thoughts surrounding
the process of letting someone go, someone that doesn't serve
your higher purpose, some one that is not implementing anything
positive into your life. I'm the type of person that's
(01:06):
very sensitive to energies. I like being around like minded
individuals who bring positive vibes and who elevate my life
and complement it. Oftentimes I find myself giving people more
than one chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt
I'm a cancer, so um I can resonate with you
(01:26):
in that sense. But for me, I feel that some
people should just you know, know right from wrong, and
you know, they should take accountability for their actions, and
they should apologize and come forth and make amends. What
are your thoughts about that cheek ease? And more specifically,
what I'm trying to ask is do those people always
(01:48):
deserve an explanation prior to you cutting them off? Or
would you just cut them off even without explaining anything. Wow, Antonio,
very very nice question. Thank you so much for being
one of my boss bes. Look, I was just actually
giving someone advice on this yesterday. I think throughout the years,
and as I've gotten older and more mature, I've learned
(02:11):
to let go of people that don't serve my higher good.
If they're not giving me what I'm giving them and
they're only taking up space and making me sad and
causing me pain, then that's an indication for me to
just say, let me love this person from afar, even
if it's a family member a friend, especially if it's
(02:32):
someone that you're in a relationship with, because you are
constantly connecting and exchanging energies with the person you're significant other,
so it's very difficult. It's a lot easier said than done.
I do feel that you should give the person somewhat
of an explanation if they deserve it, even if you
send a voice note. Sometimes I've sent voice notes to
(02:54):
people where I'm like, Hey, I don't need you to respond,
I'm just letting you know that I am no longer
going to contact you. I don't want you to contact me.
You did X, Y and Z, and because of that,
I am ex naming you out of my life. And
I blocked them and I don't ask or wonder if
they responded or anything. And there have been people that
(03:16):
I've just cut off because they know they've done something
that they weren't supposed to do, and I feel like
they don't need an explanation. But it always makes me
feel better to say, hey, I am pushing you out
of my life because of this reason, so that they're
aware of it and they have the opportunity of changing
or not, you know, because sometimes if you don't let
the person know what it is that they're doing and
(03:38):
how they are affecting you, then they're never going to
learn it all just depends in the situation. But I
do feel that it's okay to love people from Afar
and wish them well from Afar doesn't matter who they are,
you know. And then there are other people like my
siblings that I'm like, it doesn't matter what it is
that they do, I will speak to them. For me,
(04:00):
it's like important to have certain relationship with certain people.
But I have let go of the closest people in
my life because they affect me in a negative way.
So there's no shame in that. And just answer your question. Yes,
I do feel that it would be good for you
to just say, hey, this is my reason, whether it
be a text, whether it be a letter, whether it
be an email, a voice note, and just let them
know it's okay and it's important to love yourself and Antonio.
(04:26):
I hope that my advice helped And if you have
any other questions, I'm here to answer them. Now let's
go into the second question. Hey, Jeekie, is Jackie from Jersey?
(04:51):
Would you forgive a cheater? Hi? Jackie from Jersey thought
me into the Jersey. Thank you for your question. Look,
I have forgiven a cheater before I have. If you
can forgive someone and try to forget, then go ahead.
It's important for you to forgive with the clean heart.
(05:12):
And if you're going to be in a relationship with
that person and try to move forward, you cannot keep
bringing it up like you have to really forgive and
let it go, because if not, you're going to ruin
the relationship. If you feel I'm always going to think
about it over and over. It's going to be in
the back of my mind. How did he kiss the girl?
How did they have sex? Did he like her more
than me? That is all going to torment your mind.
(05:34):
So I would say, forgive him or forgive her. If
it's a boy or girl, doesn't matter. Forgive the cheater
and let them go and just say thank you for
the experience. But I can't move forward with you. But
if you can forgive and try to forget, pussy, I
think it's a beautiful thing to forgive. It gives you
the wings of liberty. So that's my advice on that
(06:00):
gamin thing. Then go for it, Mama. Okay. I hope
that I was able to help in some way. Okay,
let's get into the next question. This one is from
Nellie Hey chick eas I just wanted to say that
I absolutely love and adore you for everything that you
(06:20):
have overcome and everything that you're currently still doing. I
was a huge fan of your mom when I was
a kid, and I still am, and I'm a huge
fan of you and your music, So keep up the
good work. I just wanted to get your advice and
a little something. I started to talk to this guy
last year, literally January first. Who started to talk. But
we're getting to know each other for about a good
six or seven months, but then we ended up losing
(06:42):
contact and you know, we ended up seeing other people
during that time. He ended up getting into relationship with
someone else. We recently reconnected about four or five months ago,
and ever since then, we have been talking all day
every day. We both work a lot, so we don't
see each other, but when we do, our chemistry and
saying it's always good bye. We laugh and talk about
everything and anything for hours. We have not had sex.
(07:04):
We don't talk about sex at all. Um, we never
even kissed. That most we have done is give each
other a hug. Um. We both know what's wrong because
he's still currently in a relationship. But he did tell
me he wants to see where this goes with me.
So I want to know, should I just see where
it goes with him, because like I started, chemistry is insane?
Or should I just you know, let him continue to
be with his girlfriend and fix that relationship or whatever
(07:26):
they want to do, because like I said, I feel horrible.
I know what I feels like to be cheated on.
And we both know what's horrible. We both know what's
wrong that we that we like each other, but I
just don't know what to do. I'm stuck, Nellie. Okay, Well,
first of all, thank you, Mama, thank you for for
the love and support. Like maybe I'm I'm gonna be
a hunter with you right now. I think you're too
much of a great person and woman and you should
(07:48):
give yourself that place. And if I know that just
by hearing you, you should know that. So if he's
in a relationship, Mama, you have to respect at You
wouldn't want him to do the same thing to you.
And if he's doing it to her, he will most
likely do it to you because he's gonna know that
(08:11):
you're okay with that, you know what I mean, Like
you're already starting off on the wrong foot, so I
think the best advice that I can give you is
you need to cut that off. If he really likes
you and he really wants to be with you, then
he's going to leave that relationship and then start something
with you. But at this point, I don't know if
(08:33):
he's a person that you can trust. Because it's good
that you guys haven't had sex or kiss or anything
like that. But I think it's not fair for you
that he's one ft in, one foot out in that
relationship and trying to figure out, Okay, well is it
better over here with Nelly or should I continue with
my with my girlfriend. You know, that's what he's doing.
He's getting his cake and eating it too, and that's
not cool. And you should also as a woman, we
all have to respect other women, and if he's in
(08:55):
a relationship, I would recommend for you to respect that
other woman because I'm sure she wouldn't be okay with it.
And if you do decide to end things with him,
I think that you should send him a message. I
don't even think it should be in person, to be honest,
because you don't want to have that opportunity of him
trying to sway you. I think that you should just
(09:16):
send him a nice either email or text message explaining, Hey,
I've come to the realization that this isn't good for
me or for you, and it's not fair to your girlfriend.
And I want to put good energy out there and
I wish you the best, but I have to end
this because this is not okay. It's not going to
be easy. I know you like this guy, but go
(09:37):
mo list and let it go and if it comes back,
then it's meant for you. But then you also have
to sit and say, Okay, do I really want that
type of guy? Like what if you guys are together, Yeah,
he leaves his girlfriend and then comes with you, and
then you guys are happy for a year and he's
still like you don't even like what if the cycle repeats?
Is what I'm saying. Give yourself your place so that
he can give you your place. If that makes sense.
(10:00):
That's my advice to you, Nelly. I'm sending you a
big hug. Girl. I know it's easier said than done,
but love yourself, Mama, love yourself more m Thank you
all for submitting your questions, and just a friendly reminder
(10:21):
to speak to a therapist if you're struggling with an
issue or hardship. I've said this many times, but I'm
going to say it again. I really think I was
put on this earth to help others, and I'll continue
to do so in any way that I possibly can,
especially using my platforms. Thank you so much for listening,
and I will see you next Wednesday with another episode
of Dear Cheeks once again. You can submit your questions
(10:45):
at speak pipe dot com, slash cheek, Ease, and Chill
podcasts mm hmm. This is a production of My Heart
Radio and Michel podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at
Michael Tura Podcasts and follow me chick ees That's c
(11:06):
h i q u i s. For more podcasts from
My Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
M hm. Hi everyone, and welcome to Dear cheek Ees.
This is a brandow addition to my Chickens and Chill podcast,
and if you haven't heard it, go check it out.
Those episodes are longer and more depth. But here on
(00:23):
Dear Cheeks, I'm connecting with you on a deeper level.
It's just me and you. Each week I'll be answering
your questions on love, relationships, and so much more. Submit
your questions at speak pipe dot com slash cheek Ease
and Chill Podcast. Okay, so now that you know what
to expect on this show, let's press play and get
into the first question. Hi, good morning, cheek Ees. My
(00:46):
name is Antonio, one of your boss fees from Orange County.
My question for you is what are your thoughts surrounding
the process of letting someone go, someone that doesn't serve
your higher purpose, some one that is not implementing anything
positive into your life. I'm the type of person that's
(01:06):
very sensitive to energies. I like being around like minded
individuals who bring positive vibes and who elevate my life
and complement it. Oftentimes I find myself giving people more
than one chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt
I'm a cancer, so um I can resonate with you
(01:26):
in that sense. But for me, I feel that some
people should just you know, know right from wrong, and
you know, they should take accountability for their actions, and
they should apologize and come forth and make amends. What
are your thoughts about that cheek ease? And more specifically,
what I'm trying to ask is do those people always
(01:48):
deserve an explanation prior to you cutting them off? Or
would you just cut them off even without explaining anything. Wow, Antonio,
very very nice question. Thank you so much for being
one of my boss bes. Look, I was just actually
giving someone advice on this yesterday. I think throughout the years,
and as I've gotten older and more mature, I've learned
(02:11):
to let go of people that don't serve my higher good.
If they're not giving me what I'm giving them and
they're only taking up space and making me sad and
causing me pain, then that's an indication for me to
just say, let me love this person from afar, even
if it's a family member a friend, especially if it's
(02:32):
someone that you're in a relationship with, because you are
constantly connecting and exchanging energies with the person you're significant other,
so it's very difficult. It's a lot easier said than done.
I do feel that you should give the person somewhat
of an explanation if they deserve it, even if you
send a voice note. Sometimes I've sent voice notes to
(02:54):
people where I'm like, Hey, I don't need you to respond,
I'm just letting you know that I am no longer
going to contact you. I don't want you to contact me.
You did X, Y and Z, and because of that,
I am ex naming you out of my life. And
I blocked them and I don't ask or wonder if
they responded or anything. And there have been people that
(03:16):
I've just cut off because they know they've done something
that they weren't supposed to do, and I feel like
they don't need an explanation. But it always makes me
feel better to say, hey, I am pushing you out
of my life because of this reason, so that they're
aware of it and they have the opportunity of changing
or not, you know, because sometimes if you don't let
the person know what it is that they're doing and
(03:38):
how they are affecting you, then they're never going to
learn it all just depends in the situation. But I
do feel that it's okay to love people from Afar
and wish them well from Afar doesn't matter who they are,
you know. And then there are other people like my
siblings that I'm like, it doesn't matter what it is
that they do, I will speak to them. For me,
(04:00):
it's like important to have certain relationship with certain people.
But I have let go of the closest people in
my life because they affect me in a negative way.
So there's no shame in that. And just answer your question. Yes,
I do feel that it would be good for you
to just say, hey, this is my reason, whether it
be a text, whether it be a letter, whether it
be an email, a voice note, and just let them
know it's okay and it's important to love yourself and Antonio.
(04:26):
I hope that my advice helped And if you have
any other questions, I'm here to answer them. Now let's
go into the second question. Hey, Jeekie, is Jackie from Jersey?
(04:51):
Would you forgive a cheater? Hi? Jackie from Jersey thought
me into the Jersey. Thank you for your question. Look,
I have forgiven a cheater before I have. If you
can forgive someone and try to forget, then go ahead.
It's important for you to forgive with the clean heart.
(05:12):
And if you're going to be in a relationship with
that person and try to move forward, you cannot keep
bringing it up like you have to really forgive and
let it go, because if not, you're going to ruin
the relationship. If you feel I'm always going to think
about it over and over. It's going to be in
the back of my mind. How did he kiss the girl?
How did they have sex? Did he like her more
than me? That is all going to torment your mind.
(05:34):
So I would say, forgive him or forgive her. If
it's a boy or girl, doesn't matter. Forgive the cheater
and let them go and just say thank you for
the experience. But I can't move forward with you. But
if you can forgive and try to forget, pussy, I
think it's a beautiful thing to forgive. It gives you
the wings of liberty. So that's my advice on that
(06:00):
gamin thing. Then go for it, Mama. Okay. I hope
that I was able to help in some way. Okay,
let's get into the next question. This one is from
Nellie Hey chick eas I just wanted to say that
I absolutely love and adore you for everything that you
(06:20):
have overcome and everything that you're currently still doing. I
was a huge fan of your mom when I was
a kid, and I still am, and I'm a huge
fan of you and your music, So keep up the
good work. I just wanted to get your advice and
a little something. I started to talk to this guy
last year, literally January first. Who started to talk. But
we're getting to know each other for about a good
six or seven months, but then we ended up losing
(06:42):
contact and you know, we ended up seeing other people
during that time. He ended up getting into relationship with
someone else. We recently reconnected about four or five months ago,
and ever since then, we have been talking all day
every day. We both work a lot, so we don't
see each other, but when we do, our chemistry and
saying it's always good bye. We laugh and talk about
everything and anything for hours. We have not had sex.
(07:04):
We don't talk about sex at all. Um, we never
even kissed. That most we have done is give each
other a hug. Um. We both know what's wrong because
he's still currently in a relationship. But he did tell
me he wants to see where this goes with me.
So I want to know, should I just see where
it goes with him, because like I started, chemistry is insane?
Or should I just you know, let him continue to
be with his girlfriend and fix that relationship or whatever
(07:26):
they want to do, because like I said, I feel horrible.
I know what I feels like to be cheated on.
And we both know what's horrible. We both know what's
wrong that we that we like each other, but I
just don't know what to do. I'm stuck, Nellie. Okay, Well,
first of all, thank you, Mama, thank you for for
the love and support. Like maybe I'm I'm gonna be
a hunter with you right now. I think you're too
much of a great person and woman and you should
(07:48):
give yourself that place. And if I know that just
by hearing you, you should know that. So if he's
in a relationship, Mama, you have to respect at You
wouldn't want him to do the same thing to you.
And if he's doing it to her, he will most
likely do it to you because he's gonna know that
(08:11):
you're okay with that, you know what I mean, Like
you're already starting off on the wrong foot, so I
think the best advice that I can give you is
you need to cut that off. If he really likes
you and he really wants to be with you, then
he's going to leave that relationship and then start something
with you. But at this point, I don't know if
(08:33):
he's a person that you can trust. Because it's good
that you guys haven't had sex or kiss or anything
like that. But I think it's not fair for you
that he's one ft in, one foot out in that
relationship and trying to figure out, Okay, well is it
better over here with Nelly or should I continue with
my with my girlfriend. You know, that's what he's doing.
He's getting his cake and eating it too, and that's
not cool. And you should also as a woman, we
all have to respect other women, and if he's in
(08:55):
a relationship, I would recommend for you to respect that
other woman because I'm sure she wouldn't be okay with it.
And if you do decide to end things with him,
I think that you should send him a message. I
don't even think it should be in person, to be honest,
because you don't want to have that opportunity of him
trying to sway you. I think that you should just
(09:16):
send him a nice either email or text message explaining, Hey,
I've come to the realization that this isn't good for
me or for you, and it's not fair to your girlfriend.
And I want to put good energy out there and
I wish you the best, but I have to end
this because this is not okay. It's not going to
be easy. I know you like this guy, but go
(09:37):
mo list and let it go and if it comes back,
then it's meant for you. But then you also have
to sit and say, Okay, do I really want that
type of guy? Like what if you guys are together, Yeah,
he leaves his girlfriend and then comes with you, and
then you guys are happy for a year and he's
still like you don't even like what if the cycle repeats?
Is what I'm saying. Give yourself your place so that
he can give you your place. If that makes sense.
(10:00):
That's my advice to you, Nelly. I'm sending you a
big hug. Girl. I know it's easier said than done,
but love yourself, Mama, love yourself more m Thank you
all for submitting your questions, and just a friendly reminder
(10:21):
to speak to a therapist if you're struggling with an
issue or hardship. I've said this many times, but I'm
going to say it again. I really think I was
put on this earth to help others, and I'll continue
to do so in any way that I possibly can,
especially using my platforms. Thank you so much for listening,
and I will see you next Wednesday with another episode
of Dear Cheeks once again. You can submit your questions
(10:45):
at speak pipe dot com, slash cheek, Ease, and Chill
podcasts mm hmm. This is a production of My Heart
Radio and Michel podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at
Michael Tura Podcasts and follow me chick ees That's c
(11:06):
h i q u i s. For more podcasts from
My Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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