October 8, 2025 • 13 mins
We got a little bit of everything in this episode of Dear Chiquis. This week, Lulu and her husband need to find a nice way to tell his parents they can no longer help them financially; Erica’s mom passed away a few months ago and she wants to know how I dealt with the hard days right after my mom died; and Brie has been rewatching “I Love Jenni” and has some questions about it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you advice on anything and everything you need
help with, whether you're going through a breakup or having
issues with your family, or maybe you have a question
about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I want
to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts in
(00:39):
my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious issue
or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message. At
the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Him chee Kings, I want to get your feedback on
my little dilemma with my in laws. So I've been
with my filance, we recently just got engaged for about
eight years, and throughout our entire relationship, he's been very
fortunate to provide for his parents. But my issue is
(01:14):
that they don't work. They just want to be Monthaniel's
and I come from immigrant parents. My entire family are immigrants,
and so for me, I just can't wrap my head
around that. And so he obviously is very disappointed with
his parents. But he's like, what do I do, and
(01:37):
her and her mom and I had a little disagreement,
but I felt like it was at my place to
necessarily say something. It's more so him, but he has
an amazing relationship with his parents, and so he's like,
am I going to sacrifice this amazing relationship with my
(01:57):
parents because their finances? And so I just kind of
want to get a different perspective. If we're both on
the same page, it's just we don't necessarily know what
to do. So yeah, I would love to hear what
you think.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Hi, Lulu, thank you so much for trusting me enough
to give you advice on this because.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I get you. I hear you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I know it's tough when you don't understand because your
parents are so different. So I can totally get that.
I sympathize with you and your fiance. It sucks that
he can't talk to his parents. It's great that they
have a great relationship, But I don't know. This one's
a tough one for me because I'm always one to
(02:46):
say that a partner should support their partner, like their
significant other with decisions that come with family, because you
don't want to get between that. But he's also feeling
what you're feeling, and I do think that you're gonna
have to just support him with pushing him on having
(03:10):
a conversation. Maybe he could say, look, for the next
five months, I'll help you guys, whatever it is you
guys decide, but after this date, I can no longer
help you, and then maybe he can wean them off first.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Start with that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
They'll probably get upset, but at least he's giving them
enough time because he does have to start his own family,
like he has to provide for his own family, and
that's a lot. That's a lot on one person, and
it's obviously causing some type of tension between you guys,
and I think it's only fair and if they do
(03:46):
get upset.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
They'll get over it.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I do recommend that weaning them off, so maybe giving
them a date and then after that saying okay or hey,
for the next three months, I'll give you guys a
full amount I usually give you, and then after three months,
I'll give you half, you know what I mean, Like
just getting them to hopefully find another way of getting
some type of income, because I do understand those are
(04:11):
his parents, but that's a lot, and I know it's
probably going to make him scared because he doesn't want
to have a bad relationship. But if they have such
a good relationship and the parents love him and want
the best for him, then they're going to understand sooner
or later. It won't be easy, but I do think
(04:33):
that this has to happen soon, especially before you guys
get married. Tell your man that it's important that he says,
this is my decision. My girl has nothing to do
with it, because then that's a whole other problem. You
get me, it has to be and it has to
come from him, So I hope that helped. It's just
(04:53):
so it's difficult because I mean, I don't know how
old their parents are. Can they get jobs? So I
need a little bit more information. But anyway, I help
my advice.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Help.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Please keep me updated.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I want to know if you know he finds the
courage to have this conversation, because I do feel it's needed. Okay, guys,
we have another question from Erica.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Hey, Cheeky's I have a question. I lost my mom
four months ago, having a rough day. I have a
lot of rough days. I know you've lost your mom.
What do you do on the days that you don't
(05:36):
want to be like productive. Some days it's hard for
me to get out of bed. Some days it's hard
for me to do anything. So what do you do
on the days that like hits you the most?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
How do you get out of that funk? Well hopes
you when you miss her most? Thanks cheekys leve you bye.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Oh ericat my heart, I want to give you a
big hug. I'm sending you a big hug.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's very fresh, babe, it's fresh. It's four months. I
always tell people this. It it's tough. The first year
is the most difficult because you are experiencing everything for
the first time without your loved one. You need to
be patient with the process. You need to be compassionate
(06:32):
with yourself. And when you are feeling the way you're
feeling right now and you feel sad and you don't
want to be productive, it's okay to sit in that
for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You lost your mom, one of the most if not
the most important person in your life, So don't be
so hard on yourself. When I felt like that, especially
in twenty thirteen, right after my mom passed, Like, the
first two years were just so difficult. I would just
lay in bed and I would watch a funny movie
or a movie that she liked, you know, and it
(07:02):
made me feel closer to her. I had one of
her dresses that I would keep in a ziploc bag
and I would smell it and I would just like
it stayed for a few months and maybe like eight months,
I think after her passing, because I tried my best
to preserve it as much as possible. And I would
just hug it and I'm like, Okay, she's here with me.
(07:24):
And I would just do things that I know she liked,
or even eat her favorite foods that would also make
me feel closer to her. My mom loved pork rines
with diet coke, so I would be like, Okay, I'm
just gonna sit here and have a conversation with myself
and eat this. And I would do that, and a
lot of people don't know that because I wouldn't go
(07:46):
to the cemetery a lot because I just felt she
wasn't there. I felt like the cemetery, like her garden,
is more for her fans. So I just felt like
I forced myself to understand and feel her everywhere because
I didn't want to feel just this is where I
have to go to feel her, you know what I mean.
So I definitely recommend that listen to music that she
liked or songs that make you remember good times with her,
(08:09):
Movies maybe that she watched anything, anything. It will definitely
help and comfort you. And it's okay to feel that way.
It's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions, and when you
want to smile and you want to dance, do it.
Don't feel like, oh I have to be sad or
feel guilty because you feel happy some days. That's okay.
She wants you to be happy. And just know that
(08:34):
she's a lot closer than she ever could have been before.
Like that's what comforts me now, Like my mother is
helping me a lot more from where she is, wherever
she is, and I want to think she's in heaven
just happy and you know, doing her thing then she was.
She's a lot closer to me now than she was
(08:54):
when she was here physically. I'm sending you a big hug.
I hope that helped, and just just be paid and
if you can try to do therapy or read a
really good book on grieving, that will definitely help. As well,
oh my Erico like a big, big, big, big, a
big kiss.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Bib Okay, guys, we have one last question from Brie.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Hey cheeky, So, I just want to say I love
I love Jenny. I mean that is probably one of them.
Is probably, if not, like, my favorite reality show because
other than Jersey Show obviously, but it was it's I
love it. It was just beautiful watching your mom, watching
all of you guys. You guys were so fucking like regular,
regular people living in this big gass house. I was like,
(09:43):
fuck yeah, but I seen you and your siblings are
all doing good, and I really love that for you guys,
because you guys have been through so much and that's honestly,
really really inspiring. You guys don't know, but I'm rewatching
I Love Jenny, and I've seen some foreshadowing kind of
moments and like stuff that I I don't know if
you guys ever think about. But the first one is
(10:03):
when Mikey was like, he doesn't want to name his
daughter whole names like Genevieve and Jezebel, Like how does
Jackie feel about since her daughter's name is Genevieve.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And the second one was if you ever do have.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
A kid, and I hope you really do, Cheeky's I'm
really hoping that you'd be like the great.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Mom, greatest mom ever.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
But if you do, are you going to continue the
ILJ the new Destiny's Child and you're gonna name your
child something with?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Was it? I? Because you have Luna and Jayla? So
that's it. I love you guys.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
I really hope you answer my questions because I was
watching and there's a lot of them that I really
want to know, but those who are the ones?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
How do you feel about those moments?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Oh my gosh, Bree, you definitely made me laugh.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I love your energy. I love it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Oh I thank God for I Love Jenny because I
can go back and watch my mom and hear her
laugh and hear her voice. It's such a blessing recording
I Love Jenny. Some days was just really heavy for
whatever reason, you know, whatever was going on at that time.
But now looking back, I'm just like, Wow, what a blessing.
(11:12):
And I love that you guys are still watching it,
so thank you. You know, Mikey has always been a
clown in a.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Good sense, in a good way. He always says the
darnedish shit.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And I swear it's like you can never take it
personal because it's coming from him. Like he has such
a beautiful big heart that when he says things, he's
just really a funny guy. I've always told him, you
need to do stand up comedy, dude. So I don't
even know. If Jackie remembers that, I have to ask her.
I don't even remember that, like you just reminded me.
(11:43):
But Genevieve is not a whole name. That is such
a beautiful name. He's crazy anyway, And then I don't know.
I would have to talk to Emilio god willing. Yes,
I have a baby, but he has said he wants
our baby, if it's a girl, to be named Janey,
at least her middle name. But I think I'm just
(12:04):
gonna like do my own thing. I think I don't know.
We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I think
it would be kind of cute if I kept like
with the tradition, but.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I gotta talk to my man. You know, I'm a
submissive wife now, girl. So, oh my gosh, thank you
for your question. That was so nice. There was a
little bit of everything in this episode guys, and I
just want to take the time to thank Lulu Rika.
I'm sending you a big hug, baby, iye oh my
heart and Brie you made me laugh. There was like
a nice range of questions today, so thank you guys.
(12:34):
And if you would like to leave a question about
anything and everything, I don't ever say don't leave the
type of question like that's just not my style, like
I'm down to answer anything, So please leave your question
at speakpipe dot com, Slash, Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Ooh ooh ooh, love you, Bye bye bye.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q U i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you advice on anything and everything you need
help with, whether you're going through a breakup or having
issues with your family, or maybe you have a question
about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I want
to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts in
(00:39):
my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious issue
or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message. At
the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Him chee Kings, I want to get your feedback on
my little dilemma with my in laws. So I've been
with my filance, we recently just got engaged for about
eight years, and throughout our entire relationship, he's been very
fortunate to provide for his parents. But my issue is
(01:14):
that they don't work. They just want to be Monthaniel's
and I come from immigrant parents. My entire family are immigrants,
and so for me, I just can't wrap my head
around that. And so he obviously is very disappointed with
his parents. But he's like, what do I do, and
(01:37):
her and her mom and I had a little disagreement,
but I felt like it was at my place to
necessarily say something. It's more so him, but he has
an amazing relationship with his parents, and so he's like,
am I going to sacrifice this amazing relationship with my
(01:57):
parents because their finances? And so I just kind of
want to get a different perspective. If we're both on
the same page, it's just we don't necessarily know what
to do. So yeah, I would love to hear what
you think.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Hi, Lulu, thank you so much for trusting me enough
to give you advice on this because.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
I get you. I hear you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I know it's tough when you don't understand because your
parents are so different. So I can totally get that.
I sympathize with you and your fiance. It sucks that
he can't talk to his parents. It's great that they
have a great relationship, But I don't know. This one's
a tough one for me because I'm always one to
(02:46):
say that a partner should support their partner, like their
significant other with decisions that come with family, because you
don't want to get between that. But he's also feeling
what you're feeling, and I do think that you're gonna
have to just support him with pushing him on having
(03:10):
a conversation. Maybe he could say, look, for the next
five months, I'll help you guys, whatever it is you
guys decide, but after this date, I can no longer
help you, and then maybe he can wean them off first.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Start with that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
They'll probably get upset, but at least he's giving them
enough time because he does have to start his own family,
like he has to provide for his own family, and
that's a lot. That's a lot on one person, and
it's obviously causing some type of tension between you guys,
and I think it's only fair and if they do
(03:46):
get upset.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
They'll get over it.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I do recommend that weaning them off, so maybe giving
them a date and then after that saying okay or hey,
for the next three months, I'll give you guys a
full amount I usually give you, and then after three months,
I'll give you half, you know what I mean, Like
just getting them to hopefully find another way of getting
some type of income, because I do understand those are
(04:11):
his parents, but that's a lot, and I know it's
probably going to make him scared because he doesn't want
to have a bad relationship. But if they have such
a good relationship and the parents love him and want
the best for him, then they're going to understand sooner
or later. It won't be easy, but I do think
(04:33):
that this has to happen soon, especially before you guys
get married. Tell your man that it's important that he says,
this is my decision. My girl has nothing to do
with it, because then that's a whole other problem. You
get me, it has to be and it has to
come from him, So I hope that helped. It's just
(04:53):
so it's difficult because I mean, I don't know how
old their parents are. Can they get jobs? So I
need a little bit more information. But anyway, I help
my advice.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Help.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Please keep me updated.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I want to know if you know he finds the
courage to have this conversation, because I do feel it's needed. Okay, guys,
we have another question from Erica.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Hey, Cheeky's I have a question. I lost my mom
four months ago, having a rough day. I have a
lot of rough days. I know you've lost your mom.
What do you do on the days that you don't
(05:36):
want to be like productive. Some days it's hard for
me to get out of bed. Some days it's hard
for me to do anything. So what do you do
on the days that like hits you the most?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Like?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
How do you get out of that funk? Well hopes
you when you miss her most? Thanks cheekys leve you bye.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Oh ericat my heart, I want to give you a
big hug. I'm sending you a big hug.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's very fresh, babe, it's fresh. It's four months. I
always tell people this. It it's tough. The first year
is the most difficult because you are experiencing everything for
the first time without your loved one. You need to
be patient with the process. You need to be compassionate
(06:32):
with yourself. And when you are feeling the way you're
feeling right now and you feel sad and you don't
want to be productive, it's okay to sit in that
for a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You lost your mom, one of the most if not
the most important person in your life, So don't be
so hard on yourself. When I felt like that, especially
in twenty thirteen, right after my mom passed, Like, the
first two years were just so difficult. I would just
lay in bed and I would watch a funny movie
or a movie that she liked, you know, and it
(07:02):
made me feel closer to her. I had one of
her dresses that I would keep in a ziploc bag
and I would smell it and I would just like
it stayed for a few months and maybe like eight months,
I think after her passing, because I tried my best
to preserve it as much as possible. And I would
just hug it and I'm like, Okay, she's here with me.
(07:24):
And I would just do things that I know she liked,
or even eat her favorite foods that would also make
me feel closer to her. My mom loved pork rines
with diet coke, so I would be like, Okay, I'm
just gonna sit here and have a conversation with myself
and eat this. And I would do that, and a
lot of people don't know that because I wouldn't go
(07:46):
to the cemetery a lot because I just felt she
wasn't there. I felt like the cemetery, like her garden,
is more for her fans. So I just felt like
I forced myself to understand and feel her everywhere because
I didn't want to feel just this is where I
have to go to feel her, you know what I mean.
So I definitely recommend that listen to music that she
liked or songs that make you remember good times with her,
(08:09):
Movies maybe that she watched anything, anything. It will definitely
help and comfort you. And it's okay to feel that way.
It's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions, and when you
want to smile and you want to dance, do it.
Don't feel like, oh I have to be sad or
feel guilty because you feel happy some days. That's okay.
She wants you to be happy. And just know that
(08:34):
she's a lot closer than she ever could have been before.
Like that's what comforts me now, Like my mother is
helping me a lot more from where she is, wherever
she is, and I want to think she's in heaven
just happy and you know, doing her thing then she was.
She's a lot closer to me now than she was
(08:54):
when she was here physically. I'm sending you a big hug.
I hope that helped, and just just be paid and
if you can try to do therapy or read a
really good book on grieving, that will definitely help. As well,
oh my Erico like a big, big, big, big, a
big kiss.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Bib Okay, guys, we have one last question from Brie.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Hey cheeky, So, I just want to say I love
I love Jenny. I mean that is probably one of them.
Is probably, if not, like, my favorite reality show because
other than Jersey Show obviously, but it was it's I
love it. It was just beautiful watching your mom, watching
all of you guys. You guys were so fucking like regular,
regular people living in this big gass house. I was like,
(09:43):
fuck yeah, but I seen you and your siblings are
all doing good, and I really love that for you guys,
because you guys have been through so much and that's honestly,
really really inspiring. You guys don't know, but I'm rewatching
I Love Jenny, and I've seen some foreshadowing kind of
moments and like stuff that I I don't know if
you guys ever think about. But the first one is
(10:03):
when Mikey was like, he doesn't want to name his
daughter whole names like Genevieve and Jezebel, Like how does
Jackie feel about since her daughter's name is Genevieve.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
And the second one was if you ever do have.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
A kid, and I hope you really do, Cheeky's I'm
really hoping that you'd be like the great.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Mom, greatest mom ever.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
But if you do, are you going to continue the
ILJ the new Destiny's Child and you're gonna name your
child something with?
Speaker 4 (10:27):
Was it? I? Because you have Luna and Jayla? So
that's it. I love you guys.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
I really hope you answer my questions because I was
watching and there's a lot of them that I really
want to know, but those who are the ones?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
How do you feel about those moments?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Oh my gosh, Bree, you definitely made me laugh.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
I love your energy. I love it. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Oh I thank God for I Love Jenny because I
can go back and watch my mom and hear her
laugh and hear her voice. It's such a blessing recording
I Love Jenny. Some days was just really heavy for
whatever reason, you know, whatever was going on at that time.
But now looking back, I'm just like, Wow, what a blessing.
(11:12):
And I love that you guys are still watching it,
so thank you. You know, Mikey has always been a
clown in a.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Good sense, in a good way. He always says the
darnedish shit.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And I swear it's like you can never take it
personal because it's coming from him. Like he has such
a beautiful big heart that when he says things, he's
just really a funny guy. I've always told him, you
need to do stand up comedy, dude. So I don't
even know. If Jackie remembers that, I have to ask her.
I don't even remember that, like you just reminded me.
(11:43):
But Genevieve is not a whole name. That is such
a beautiful name. He's crazy anyway, And then I don't know.
I would have to talk to Emilio god willing. Yes,
I have a baby, but he has said he wants
our baby, if it's a girl, to be named Janey,
at least her middle name. But I think I'm just
(12:04):
gonna like do my own thing. I think I don't know.
We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I think
it would be kind of cute if I kept like
with the tradition, but.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I gotta talk to my man. You know, I'm a
submissive wife now, girl. So, oh my gosh, thank you
for your question. That was so nice. There was a
little bit of everything in this episode guys, and I
just want to take the time to thank Lulu Rika.
I'm sending you a big hug, baby, iye oh my
heart and Brie you made me laugh. There was like
a nice range of questions today, so thank you guys.
(12:34):
And if you would like to leave a question about
anything and everything, I don't ever say don't leave the
type of question like that's just not my style, like
I'm down to answer anything, So please leave your question
at speakpipe dot com, Slash, Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Ooh ooh ooh, love you, Bye bye bye.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h i q U i s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.
Host
Chiquis
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