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March 19, 2025 16 mins

It’s time to answer a new set of YOUR questions! This week, an anonymous listener is looking for a way to confront her husband after he lost his job and they’ve started to go through hard financial times; Gaby recently had a bad romantic experience and asks me how she can put that behind her for when she’s ready to date again; another anonymous listener needs to come clean with her mom after she told her a lie about her ex-boyfriend; and Yesi has an adult question about the lack of intimacy with her husband.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeky's podcast. I'm here
to give you advice on anything and everything you need
help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or having
issues with your family, or maybe you have a question
about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I want
to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts in

(00:39):
my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious issue
or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beeB.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hi Cheeky's, I am calling in because I'd like to
get some advice from you. Me and my husband just
had our one year anniversary. We met through our company
that we had both worked for. We fell in love
pretty quickly. We got married fairly quickly. In total, we

(01:12):
have five kids. He has one son. I have four kids.
My kids are mostly older except for my baby girl.
He has accepted my kids. He's, you know, a really
good man. For you know, we all have our issues,
so I have mine, he has is. But you know,
for the most part, he is a very good man.
Treats me very well, you know, accepting my kids, all

(01:32):
of that. When I met him, he was a very
hard worker. However, about two months ago, he ended up
getting laid off from the company that we worked for.
I still work for them. After he got laid off,
I feel like he fell into a rut. He doesn't
seem to have any motivation to get a job. He
applies but doesn't really do follow up, you know, et cetera.

(01:55):
And I'm really trying to At first, I was really
trying to support him. I'm really starting to struggle now
financially obviously, and like trying to support him. I'm kind
of suffering mentally and emotionally myself, but I'm trying to
stay strong for him, and I just want to know
what you would do in my situation.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Thank you, Hello, beautiful anonymous listener. Okay, so, man, it
sounds like he is definitely, maybe possibly depressed. It's only
been two months, but I'm sure those two months seem
like a year because you know, bills catch up and

(02:37):
it's just a lot. So I get it. I think
he needs some type of emotional help. I would probably
recommend for him to do some type of life coaching
or therapy. I think it's important to understand that, especially
if you guys met at this company and he got
laid off and you didn't, especially as a man, as

(02:58):
a provider, it's going to affect him in every way.
So I would just say, be patient, show him some grace.
If he doesn't have any motivation, be the motivation for him.
If he's a great guy and this is just a
little rough patch every relationship has it, then you guys
can work through it. And definitely he needs to talk
to someone. He's going through some type of I mean,

(03:19):
of course, I mean he lost his job and it's
a lot for a man, especially, so I would recommend
you maybe helping him talk to someone, some type of
counseling so he can work through his thoughts and you know,
become motivated again, because you definitely need the help. And
as women, we want to admire our men, So I
get what you're feeling. But just be a little bit

(03:41):
more patient, show him a little bit more grace. You know,
if it goes like this for a year, I would say,
then that's crazy. Even six months. I think in six
months he can find another job. I would probably put
some type of timeline and just in your head say Okay,
I'm going to give it six months and then we
have to figure it out and revisit this. But talk
to him, show him love, show him support, be his

(04:03):
motivation if he doesn't have it right now, and speak
to him with love. I think what he needs is
just speak to the king and him and just say
you know, I still love you and it's okay. You
know I'll help you through this. But he also needs
to know, hey, we need the financial stability here. So yeah,
it's a tough one because I can I feel for him.

(04:24):
I mean, I know this is probably very, very tough
on him. So that's my advice and I hope it helps,
and I hope he can find a job. I'm gonna
pray for him. Sending good positive vibes to you guys.
All right, guys, next question comes from Gabby.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Hi, cheekys.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
It's Gabby from Texas.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
I recently got broken up with about two weeks ago,
and I'm out of our three year long relationship. I
thought it was pretty serious. We lived together for some time,
we went on vacations. There was some red flogs in
the beginning. He did talk to other women two times before,
and I, you know, like you believe in forgiveness, and
I looked past it. He wanted to leave. I also
believe in if you love somebody, let them free if

(05:05):
they want to be. And I talked to him a
few days after he broke up with me to get
some more answers, and it turned out that he had
been talking to this girl this whole time, and he
took her on a date three days after we broke up.
So obviously I was very hurt. I'm on the road
to healing. I have great family and friends, I have
things to look forward to. I'm getting my PhD in May.
But my question is, how do I not let this

(05:26):
dampen the way I see men when I am fully
healed and ready to date. I think that's kind of
what I'm scared of. Yeah, but I'm a big fan
of you and your podcast and your family and everybody,
and so i'd really like to get some advice.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Thanks by Oh Gappie, thank you so much. Congratulations on
getting your PhD very soon. That is amazing, that's freaking exciting. Well, look,
I think what I did in the past, I ignored
a lot of red flags, and I think you ignored
these red flags. I think, yes, okay, if they do
it one time and it's not too crazy and they're
honest and like you know, I do believe in forgiveness.

(06:02):
Then after that, if it continues to happen, I just
personally wouldn't be okay with it a second time. And
I think those are red flags that moving forward you
should not ignore. I think people show their ass if
you are open to seeing it, if that makes sense.
So anyways, of course, there's always going to be that
fear and that thought in the back of your head

(06:24):
like oh my gosh, like if this is this going
to happen again, And as hard as it is, you
just have to shake it off. And you can't see
every man like him because not every man is the same.
And you're healing, and I think you just need to
embrace that healing right now and focus on yourself and
focus on this amazing thing that you're about to accomplish,
which is freaking phenomenal. I'm so happy for you and

(06:45):
just happy that you're going to find the right person,
and just know, if there's red flags from the very beginning,
you can't just think, oh, I'm going to change this person,
like I made that mistake and it does not work.
Trust me, and they will show you their effort. I mean,
when someone's all in, especially a man, they're going to
show you from the very beginning. They are not going
to ignore Texas and they're not gonna ghost and they're

(07:07):
not Like when a man is ready, you're gonna be
able to feel it. So you just have to have
faith that you're going to find that man. You're gonna
feel it and not be scared. If you are scared,
do it scared, because the only way you're gonna find
out is if you step into it, not step away
from it. So just lean into it and you're working
on yourself and you're doing exactly that and just become

(07:27):
the person that you want to become, but also the
person that you would like to attract. So I get it.
Trust me, But not every guy is the same. Not
every guy trusts me on that one too, So trust
me a lot in that one. Anyways, Gabby, thank you
so much for your question, and I hope it all
works out.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, another anonymous listener, let's see.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
Hi Cheeky's I just can't cross your podcast and I've
been listening to your sister, like your whole family. Ever
since I was really young, and I'm currently about to
hit a one and a half mark in my relationship,
and my mom does not like my boyfriend. She stopped
liking him because I told her that he was pressuring

(08:19):
me to do stuff, which was not true and it
was I just told her that more just because I
wanted her to let him go because we had broke
up and I wanted her to like the guy that
I was with, and so I told her that he
was pressuring me to do stuff and that was obviously

(08:40):
fake and it wasn't true. And I have it stuck
in my mind that I need to tell her that
that was fake because I am back with back with
him and we're about to hit a year and a half.
But I just need to know. How can I tell
my mom? Obviously I shouldn't have lied, but I did,

(09:01):
and I just need some help.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Girl. Yeah, Lyne, don't get us nowhere trusting, So I
get it. I understand. Okay, you just got to rip
off the band aid. Then you just gotta go and
tell your mom. Mom, I have something to tell you.
Please try not to get upset, but I lied and
that's it. Like you just got to own up to it,

(09:25):
and there will be consequences and it will be a
little hard for her to trust you moving forward, but
you could tell her I'm going to show you that
you can trust me. I understand, and just know if
you are going to say something, she might yell. She
might want to just pull your hair a little. I
don't know how your mom would react, but I think
when you come to people and you instead of people
finding out on their own, it's always best to come

(09:48):
and just fess up to it. And I think she'll
appreciate and respect that. So you need to do this
soon so she doesn't find out that you're dating this
guy a whole year and a half later. She's gonna
be like, what the heck You've been lying this whole time.
So it's gonna be a little difficult. You have to
understand that. Okay, you have to understand that, baby, because
then you know she's gonna feel like, you know, you're

(10:08):
looking at me like I'm dumb. So just rip off
the band aid.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Just do it.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
That's it. What's the worst that can happen. She's gonna
get mad, and that's all right. You can't blame her
for being upset, but you gotta tell her soon because
a year and a half. Oh my goodness, So you
gotta hurry up, girl, So get on it and let
me know what happens. Okay, all right, So our last
question comes from YESI They said this is a question

(10:33):
in Spanish, and it's also a bit of an adult question.

Speaker 4 (10:37):
So yes, the relation. Yeah, most pork smooth y, no
listo smooth mu torpe and toss as momentous conclude parts more.

(11:06):
One a persona no se sen really that amal and
aljarmed coms. One a persona pero in connector was the
corindo carriers to millware, the kerasna persona para parapo is

(11:28):
the starban emotional mente pero sars sexual mante no one
around acuero, the cales thedo no parapot tarcos connel lad
lossto and toes conce for our grassy seas.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
The loco an English. Okay, So okay, guys, So for
those of you that don't understand Spanish, yes, he is
telling me that she's been in an eight year relationship
with a man that's younger than her. She's forty two
and this man is thirty eight, and in these past
eight years it seems like they haven't been able to

(12:16):
be intimate because he has a small penis and he
isn't secure, and he doesn't feel comfortable and also doesn't
and is not really open to exploring other things the
way yes he is. So she's just kind of running
out of patients and is asking what she should do
and what I would do. So this is a toughie.

(12:37):
So let me answer her and then I'll get back
to you guys in English, Okay, ma, YESI tent tiendo
especial lookuez buena persona. Yose MOI fi m see sex
so in temida is definitely yes ante aikinarcosas and I

(13:02):
much as are see huge comrado perot vito stam can
do completamente perom com to tennis to necessidades jota c
j alaaell miras toy alas ultimus the kiro persona pero

(13:28):
jones sito in timid in no pre penetracion pero tambien
I guess lahita no cl nosta this posto to tennis
maii yes movie l s tam Serrado to the last

(13:49):
tes not in Porta, the Chio superte pero tsa erto
celio supart no was I would walk away. So, guys,

(14:22):
I told Jesse that, you know, sex is very important
in every relationship. You know, it definitely is. It's a
huge part of making a relationship work. And you know,
she asked me what I would do if I was
in her position, and to be honest, I'd have another
conversation with him and tell him, hey, I'm at like,
you know, the wis end of my rope, and I
love you and you're a great person. You have great qualities.

(14:44):
But I'm a woman and I have my necessities, you know,
and I want to be touched and I want to
be pleasured and vice versa. You know, I think that's
just normal. And I told her, I mean, I would
have that conversation and we can do other things oral, sex,
et cetera. But if he's not open to that, it's
going to be very, very difficult. So I told her,

(15:04):
have one last conversation and if he's not open to it,
then you need to make the decision. And if I
were you, I probably would have to walk away from
the relationship because then cheating happens. You know, it's a
huge part of a relationship, and especially if he's not
open to step outside of the box. And that's freaking hard.
So small penis or not small penis. You know, you

(15:24):
got fingers, you got a tongue, you got toys. There's
a lot that you could do. So that's what I
told Jesse and that's my advice. So I hope it
helps to my wonderful anonymous listeners and Gabby and Jessie.
I wish you guys the best. And again, you guys
know you guys can always come back here on Dear
Cheeky's leave me a voice done and update me. I
love to hear updates. And if you took my advice

(15:46):
or not, I love hearing that too. And if you
have a question, could you about anything love, life, finances, business, friendships,
my personal life. Leave your question at speakpipe dot com.
Slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. This is a production of

(16:07):
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