June 5, 2024 • 13 mins
Hello, hello! Welcome to a new episode of Dear Chiquis where I answer questions from you, my lovely listeners! This week, Vanessa has a crush on a guy and asks me if she should go ahead and tell him; Yuli wants advice on forgiving people who hurt her in the past and Arie wants to know what skin care tips I would give my 21-year-old self.
You can leave me your questions at speakpipe.com/chiquisandchillpodcast! And don’t forget to listen to “Chiquis and Chill” every Monday. They’re longer podcast episodes filled with personal stories and interviews with special guests.
And guess what? You can now watch the podcast on Youtube!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help
figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to
start a business. What are the cases I want to
hear from you? Remember these are my thoughts and opinions,
and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you
should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, Now,
go ahead and leave your question. At the sound of
the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Cheeky is comastus.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I've actually left you a voice message before, and I
was just asking you, like how to gain more confidence
when it comes to pursuing your dreams. And thankfully I
am doing well with thrill estate and fighting, and thank
you for your advice from that episode. So this time
I want to ask you for some big sister advice
because the girl needs a little bit of help. So
(01:14):
I am bad at dealing with my emotions when it
comes to crushes and guys that I like, and my
dating history has never been the best. I like bad boys,
or I should say used to. I don't even know
anymore's still there, but mylla ma la vida. And as
I get older, I'm like, girl, you need to find
you somebody who's a hard worker like you and genuine
(01:34):
and not into trouble all the time. So I met
this guy not too long ago who I just like
had a big crush on, and I feel like I'm
back in high school or middle school again.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But the thing.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Is, it's hard to read this man like he's very
similar to me. We're both hard workers, we both prioritize
our jobs, we're both single. But his friends have mentioned
to me in the past that he just has a
hard time getting into relationships because he prioritizes his job
too much, which I'm the same. But he's also mentioned
me in the past when I fund out that he
thinks I'd be a great mom and a great wife
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So I'm like, what do you mean by that? Like
are you mesa?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
And should I just get out of my comfort zone
and tell him?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Like what's up helping us? All right?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, Vanessa, welcome back. Thank you so much for your
now second question. I'm glad that I was able to
give you advice and it helped out, So that makes
me happy. Now, Vanessa, Okay, first of all, you need
to get that out of your vocabulary, Mausa Malabira. You
need to get that out out out because if not,
you're going to continue to attract that. Again, there's a
(02:39):
lot of power in what we say, So get that
out the Mayustan. I love good men, I love the
good life. Start feeding yourself and your soul that so
that you can attract that. Now with this guy, I
think that you should take the risk. I think do
it so that you're not making up all these stories
(03:01):
in your mind and in your brain. I would just say, hey,
I'm feeling you. I don't know if you feel the
same way, if you don't know hard feelings, but I'm
feeling you. And really, if you're gonna say that, don't
feel bad. If he says, he probably will say either yes,
i'm feeling you, let's try it, or yes, but no,
(03:23):
because I am focused on work and I want to
just focus on that, and you can't be hurt and
you still have to just like no, Okay, that's what
it is, and I'm not going to be hurt about it.
But if you keep living with you, what if what
if he likes me? And you start making up all
these this assa sin lu luciones, you're giving yourself these
false illusions that are just gonna hurt you more.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
So it's better to just rip off the band aid
and ask them and.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Tell him and say hey, I like you and what's
up and be okay with whatever the answer is. But
I say do it. If you don't do it, then
you're never going to know. And if you don't know,
then you're going to just live in this you know
maybe and this there's nothing worse than being in that
like limbo of like yes, no, maybe. So it's so
(04:04):
like energetically it just drains you. So I would just say, boom, ask, ask,
and then let me know what happened, because I'm curious.
We want to know here on the podcast what happens
with this dude? Good luck, Vanessa. I hope you guys
can make something work and yes, when of you that? Okay,
(04:28):
all right, guys, So now we're going with Yuli. Let's
see hi Cheeky's okay.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So I just wanted to tell you, okay, oh my god,
I'm obsessed with your Girl to Leave, podcast, Instagram, everything
about you I love, but specifically I have you know,
also listened to both of your books, and specifically in
your book Forgiveness, you go more into detail about what
happened in your childhood, specifically what happened with you and
(04:55):
your dad, and you know how you forgave him. I'm
going through something similar. When I was a child, I
was molested by a couple family members and right now
I'm in that process where but at the same time,
liftingo Muto Renkore and I know that affects me a
(05:17):
lot more than it does them, because me, it's going
to affect my health, not just you know, my emotional health,
but my physical healthy blocs. You know, it's all building
up insidemy and I've been doing my best to avoid
them and you know, not see them and stuff. But
how how do I go about forgiving someone who has
hurt you so much and caused you like internal pain,
(05:40):
especially at a young age.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Hi, Yulie, thank you so much for reading my books
and listening to my podcast and loving me. I love
you back. Okay, let me get into your question. It's
definitely difficult. It's a lot easier said than done to
say I'm going to forgive this person. I don't want
to hold resentment. It's something that you need to practice
every day, and you need to pray about every day
(06:06):
until you get to the point where it no longer
just is a prayer and something that you say, but
that you really mean. And it's going to take some
time because it seems like it was a couple or
a few people that did this to you, and I'm
so sorry that you went through that. But I can
tell you from personal experience that forgiving the person that
(06:27):
hurt you really frees you of holding onto that, and
the more that you hold onto what they did to you,
it's weighing you down. And I'm sure you know this,
you know because you're telling me and you're asking me,
you know, so I know. Again it's easier said than done,
but it's weighing you down, and it's not allowing you
to live the life that you're meant to live. I
(06:49):
think it is good avoiding them. If you don't want
to see them, don't. If you don't want to be
around them, don't. I understand that I didn't want to
see or talk to my dad for a long time,
now it's different, you know, but I would honor that,
avoid them and stay away from them as much as
(07:09):
you can until you get yourself in line. But I
do recommend that you pray about it, that you meditate
on it, whatever it is that you do to center yourself.
And I'm glad you read the book Forgiveness, so I
know that you know all of this because I say
that in the book. But I think that's the best
advice that I can give you is just really, really
every day telling yourself that I forgive them. Say it
(07:32):
out loud. I forgive them, I forgive them, I forgive them.
I hold no resentment. I am free from that because
it is a gift for yourself. It's not a gift
for them. You're you're not excusing what they did, because
what they did is not okay. What you're doing is saying, yes,
this happened to me, but that is not going to
define who I am and where I'm going in this
world and what I'm meant to do. I'm going to
(07:52):
release this and I'm going to leave it here, and
I'm not going to carry this big bag of emotions
and resentment and rocks that just wait me down. I'm
gonna leave it here and I'm gonna keep walking. I
forgive them, I forgive them, I forgive them. Tell yourself
that every single day until you believe it, until it's
a real thing in your heart and in your mind.
So be patient with yourself, be compassionate because it's gonna
(08:15):
take some time, and give yourself some grace because you
went through a lot. Only you know what you went through,
but it will make you feel so much better to
let go of that bag and leave it there and
wish them well and avoid them if you if it
does not give you peace to see them. Okay, I
(08:37):
hope that that helps. And say it out loud, say
it out loud in the mirror. I forgive them. I
am not what happened to me. I am not what
happened to me. It will help you a lot. I
did it, and it really really did and you feel better. Okay,
So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, guys. The last question comes from Adi Hi Tikis.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
I have been loving season three of the podcast like
it is so good. I love that you are doing
it on video. Excuse me, that's my dog chewing out
a toy. If you can't hear anything, But I've just
been loving that you're doing it on video. I'm like,
oh my god, we get to see her and her
reactions to course. I just think it's so adorable. Anyways,
(09:27):
my question for you today is what do you recommend
for me to do for my skincare as a twenty
one year old? You know, you have like the most
pervery skin ever, and I know that you've been into
skincare for a really long time, So I just want
to know if you were twenty one again, what would
you do for your skin, like a couple ingredients that
(09:49):
you know you recommend. And also, is there any like
procedures for my esthetian you recommend or you know what
kind of treatment should I be because I really don't know.
But thank you so much, girl, have a great day.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Oh Annie, what do you mean girl? I am twenty one?
What do you mean if I was twenty one again?
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Thank you so much for listening and I love the feedback.
I appreciate you telling me that you love you know
the set. Thank you, Thank you for being a loyal
listener and watcher. Now watcher, is that even a word
of well, anyways of you know the podcast, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I love your question, Attie, because definitely if I can
tell my twenty one year old self what to do
with the skincare, which I've been using skincare since I
was sixteen, right, I've been a freaking fanatic of skincare
since I was sixteen years old. But what I was
not doing enough of was applying enough SPF. That is
(10:46):
so important. And yes, that's the thing. When we're young,
we're like, oh, we're young, it's fine, I can just
like sunbathe and tan don't do any tanning beds. And
if you do a tanning bed, please cover your face.
It's one of the worst mistakes that we can make.
And if you go out in the sun, please apply
sunscreen every half hour every hour. It's super important the
(11:07):
sunscreen because you're preventing because right now you won't have
wrinkles and lines and superficial lines. But eventually that sun
exposure will catch up to you. So you have to
be really, really careful, So use your SPF. Exfoliate. It's
super important to exfoliate at least once a week. Remove
all those deadskin cells. Use a toner alcohol freetner.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Go to beeflas dot.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Com, beflowskin dot com. You'll find some good stuff there.
But for sure, a toner. A lot of people do
not use a toner. I don't know why in the
world you wouldn't use a toner, but it really does
help minimize the appearance of your pores. It helps hydrate
your face, it just preps your skin. But for sure
SPF and then also hydro facials, Okay, those are very
(11:51):
they're not as invasive, but also they're not as just
like superficial as certain facials that you would just get
where like it's just creams and stuff that they're applying.
The hydro facial look into it. It's a little pricey,
but it's definitely worth it. If you get one once
a month, it will really help you just you know,
keep your skin nice and balanced, especially with the texture
(12:12):
of your skin, which is probably the only issue that
I don't know what other I don't know what kind
of skin type you have, but those are my recommendations
from the top of my head, so I hope that
those help.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But for sure, girl SPF.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I wish I would have worn our SPF in my
twenties because I'm Latina, so we get a lot of
hyper veementations, so just be careful.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And what else that's I think?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
En mask, Oh my god, use a mask at least
once or twice a week. A good mask. I have
one that's really good. It's vitamin C exfoliating mask, anti aging,
which you probably are not worried about aging, but again, preventative.
We're all doing preventative things to prevent Okay, so think
of that all right. Thank you guys so much for
your questions, and I hope all of you that are
(12:55):
listening and watching also learned a thing or two or
maybe three from this episode. And I hope you guys
have an amazing rest of your week and enjoy your weekend. Okay,
los quiros quiro mucho bye. This is a production of
iHeartRadio and Mike Wura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram
(13:19):
at Mike Quintura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c
h i q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your favorite shows.
Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
advice on anything and everything you need help with.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help
figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to
start a business. What are the cases I want to
hear from you? Remember these are my thoughts and opinions,
and if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you
should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, Now,
go ahead and leave your question. At the sound of
the beat.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Cheeky is comastus.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I've actually left you a voice message before, and I
was just asking you, like how to gain more confidence
when it comes to pursuing your dreams. And thankfully I
am doing well with thrill estate and fighting, and thank
you for your advice from that episode. So this time
I want to ask you for some big sister advice
because the girl needs a little bit of help. So
(01:14):
I am bad at dealing with my emotions when it
comes to crushes and guys that I like, and my
dating history has never been the best. I like bad boys,
or I should say used to. I don't even know
anymore's still there, but mylla ma la vida. And as
I get older, I'm like, girl, you need to find
you somebody who's a hard worker like you and genuine
(01:34):
and not into trouble all the time. So I met
this guy not too long ago who I just like
had a big crush on, and I feel like I'm
back in high school or middle school again.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But the thing.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Is, it's hard to read this man like he's very
similar to me. We're both hard workers, we both prioritize
our jobs, we're both single. But his friends have mentioned
to me in the past that he just has a
hard time getting into relationships because he prioritizes his job
too much, which I'm the same. But he's also mentioned
me in the past when I fund out that he
thinks I'd be a great mom and a great wife
and all that.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So I'm like, what do you mean by that? Like
are you mesa?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
And should I just get out of my comfort zone
and tell him?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Like what's up helping us? All right?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, Vanessa, welcome back. Thank you so much for your
now second question. I'm glad that I was able to
give you advice and it helped out, So that makes
me happy. Now, Vanessa, Okay, first of all, you need
to get that out of your vocabulary, Mausa Malabira. You
need to get that out out out because if not,
you're going to continue to attract that. Again, there's a
(02:39):
lot of power in what we say, So get that
out the Mayustan. I love good men, I love the
good life. Start feeding yourself and your soul that so
that you can attract that. Now with this guy, I
think that you should take the risk. I think do
it so that you're not making up all these stories
(03:01):
in your mind and in your brain. I would just say, hey,
I'm feeling you. I don't know if you feel the
same way, if you don't know hard feelings, but I'm
feeling you. And really, if you're gonna say that, don't
feel bad. If he says, he probably will say either yes,
i'm feeling you, let's try it, or yes, but no,
(03:23):
because I am focused on work and I want to
just focus on that, and you can't be hurt and
you still have to just like no, Okay, that's what
it is, and I'm not going to be hurt about it.
But if you keep living with you, what if what
if he likes me? And you start making up all
these this assa sin lu luciones, you're giving yourself these
false illusions that are just gonna hurt you more.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
So it's better to just rip off the band aid
and ask them and.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Tell him and say hey, I like you and what's
up and be okay with whatever the answer is. But
I say do it. If you don't do it, then
you're never going to know. And if you don't know,
then you're going to just live in this you know
maybe and this there's nothing worse than being in that
like limbo of like yes, no, maybe. So it's so
(04:04):
like energetically it just drains you. So I would just say, boom, ask, ask,
and then let me know what happened, because I'm curious.
We want to know here on the podcast what happens
with this dude? Good luck, Vanessa. I hope you guys
can make something work and yes, when of you that? Okay,
(04:28):
all right, guys, So now we're going with Yuli. Let's
see hi Cheeky's okay.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So I just wanted to tell you, okay, oh my god,
I'm obsessed with your Girl to Leave, podcast, Instagram, everything
about you I love, but specifically I have you know,
also listened to both of your books, and specifically in
your book Forgiveness, you go more into detail about what
happened in your childhood, specifically what happened with you and
(04:55):
your dad, and you know how you forgave him. I'm
going through something similar. When I was a child, I
was molested by a couple family members and right now
I'm in that process where but at the same time,
liftingo Muto Renkore and I know that affects me a
(05:17):
lot more than it does them, because me, it's going
to affect my health, not just you know, my emotional health,
but my physical healthy blocs. You know, it's all building
up insidemy and I've been doing my best to avoid
them and you know, not see them and stuff. But
how how do I go about forgiving someone who has
hurt you so much and caused you like internal pain,
(05:40):
especially at a young age.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Hi, Yulie, thank you so much for reading my books
and listening to my podcast and loving me. I love
you back. Okay, let me get into your question. It's
definitely difficult. It's a lot easier said than done to
say I'm going to forgive this person. I don't want
to hold resentment. It's something that you need to practice
every day, and you need to pray about every day
(06:06):
until you get to the point where it no longer
just is a prayer and something that you say, but
that you really mean. And it's going to take some
time because it seems like it was a couple or
a few people that did this to you, and I'm
so sorry that you went through that. But I can
tell you from personal experience that forgiving the person that
(06:27):
hurt you really frees you of holding onto that, and
the more that you hold onto what they did to you,
it's weighing you down. And I'm sure you know this,
you know because you're telling me and you're asking me,
you know, so I know. Again it's easier said than done,
but it's weighing you down, and it's not allowing you
to live the life that you're meant to live. I
(06:49):
think it is good avoiding them. If you don't want
to see them, don't. If you don't want to be
around them, don't. I understand that I didn't want to
see or talk to my dad for a long time,
now it's different, you know, but I would honor that,
avoid them and stay away from them as much as
(07:09):
you can until you get yourself in line. But I
do recommend that you pray about it, that you meditate
on it, whatever it is that you do to center yourself.
And I'm glad you read the book Forgiveness, so I
know that you know all of this because I say
that in the book. But I think that's the best
advice that I can give you is just really, really
every day telling yourself that I forgive them. Say it
(07:32):
out loud. I forgive them, I forgive them, I forgive them.
I hold no resentment. I am free from that because
it is a gift for yourself. It's not a gift
for them. You're you're not excusing what they did, because
what they did is not okay. What you're doing is saying, yes,
this happened to me, but that is not going to
define who I am and where I'm going in this
world and what I'm meant to do. I'm going to
(07:52):
release this and I'm going to leave it here, and
I'm not going to carry this big bag of emotions
and resentment and rocks that just wait me down. I'm
gonna leave it here and I'm gonna keep walking. I
forgive them, I forgive them, I forgive them. Tell yourself
that every single day until you believe it, until it's
a real thing in your heart and in your mind.
So be patient with yourself, be compassionate because it's gonna
(08:15):
take some time, and give yourself some grace because you
went through a lot. Only you know what you went through,
but it will make you feel so much better to
let go of that bag and leave it there and
wish them well and avoid them if you if it
does not give you peace to see them. Okay, I
(08:37):
hope that that helps. And say it out loud, say
it out loud in the mirror. I forgive them. I
am not what happened to me. I am not what
happened to me. It will help you a lot. I
did it, and it really really did and you feel better. Okay,
So thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Okay, guys. The last question comes from Adi Hi Tikis.
Speaker 5 (09:05):
I have been loving season three of the podcast like
it is so good. I love that you are doing
it on video. Excuse me, that's my dog chewing out
a toy. If you can't hear anything, But I've just
been loving that you're doing it on video. I'm like,
oh my god, we get to see her and her
reactions to course. I just think it's so adorable. Anyways,
(09:27):
my question for you today is what do you recommend
for me to do for my skincare as a twenty
one year old? You know, you have like the most
pervery skin ever, and I know that you've been into
skincare for a really long time, So I just want
to know if you were twenty one again, what would
you do for your skin, like a couple ingredients that
(09:49):
you know you recommend. And also, is there any like
procedures for my esthetian you recommend or you know what
kind of treatment should I be because I really don't know.
But thank you so much, girl, have a great day.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Oh Annie, what do you mean girl? I am twenty one?
What do you mean if I was twenty one again?
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Thank you so much for listening and I love the feedback.
I appreciate you telling me that you love you know
the set. Thank you, Thank you for being a loyal
listener and watcher. Now watcher, is that even a word
of well, anyways of you know the podcast, so thank you.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I love your question, Attie, because definitely if I can
tell my twenty one year old self what to do
with the skincare, which I've been using skincare since I
was sixteen, right, I've been a freaking fanatic of skincare
since I was sixteen years old. But what I was
not doing enough of was applying enough SPF. That is
(10:46):
so important. And yes, that's the thing. When we're young,
we're like, oh, we're young, it's fine, I can just
like sunbathe and tan don't do any tanning beds. And
if you do a tanning bed, please cover your face.
It's one of the worst mistakes that we can make.
And if you go out in the sun, please apply
sunscreen every half hour every hour. It's super important the
(11:07):
sunscreen because you're preventing because right now you won't have
wrinkles and lines and superficial lines. But eventually that sun
exposure will catch up to you. So you have to
be really, really careful, So use your SPF. Exfoliate. It's
super important to exfoliate at least once a week. Remove
all those deadskin cells. Use a toner alcohol freetner.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Go to beeflas dot.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Com, beflowskin dot com. You'll find some good stuff there.
But for sure, a toner. A lot of people do
not use a toner. I don't know why in the
world you wouldn't use a toner, but it really does
help minimize the appearance of your pores. It helps hydrate
your face, it just preps your skin. But for sure
SPF and then also hydro facials, Okay, those are very
(11:51):
they're not as invasive, but also they're not as just
like superficial as certain facials that you would just get
where like it's just creams and stuff that they're applying.
The hydro facial look into it. It's a little pricey,
but it's definitely worth it. If you get one once
a month, it will really help you just you know,
keep your skin nice and balanced, especially with the texture
(12:12):
of your skin, which is probably the only issue that
I don't know what other I don't know what kind
of skin type you have, but those are my recommendations
from the top of my head, so I hope that
those help.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But for sure, girl SPF.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I wish I would have worn our SPF in my
twenties because I'm Latina, so we get a lot of
hyper veementations, so just be careful.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And what else that's I think?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
En mask, Oh my god, use a mask at least
once or twice a week. A good mask. I have
one that's really good. It's vitamin C exfoliating mask, anti aging,
which you probably are not worried about aging, but again, preventative.
We're all doing preventative things to prevent Okay, so think
of that all right. Thank you guys so much for
your questions, and I hope all of you that are
(12:55):
listening and watching also learned a thing or two or
maybe three from this episode. And I hope you guys
have an amazing rest of your week and enjoy your weekend. Okay,
los quiros quiro mucho bye. This is a production of
iHeartRadio and Mike Wura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram
(13:19):
at Mike Quintura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c
h i q u i s. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
your favorite shows.
Host
Chiquis
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