May 21, 2025 • 13 mins
What a great batch of questions I got for this episode of Dear Chiquis! This week, Paty puts me in the hot seat with a rather interesting question about my mom’s ex-boyfriend Fernie; Joey isn’t on the same page with his girlfriend when it comes to having children and wonders if he should end the relationship; and Gina wants to know why my little brother Johnny moved out.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voice mailbox for the Dear Cheeks podcast. I'm
here to give you a device on anything and everything
you need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup
or having issues with your family, or maybe you have
a question about my personal life. Whatever the case is,
I want to hear from you. Remember these are my
(00:39):
thoughts in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a
serious issue or hardship, you should seek help from a
qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave your
message at the sound of.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The beeB, Hi, Cheeky's. I have two questions for you.
The first one is from your experience, how was Fernie
as a boyfriend to your mom Jenny Like? Did you
like him for her as like a partner? Were you
(01:11):
sad disappointed that their relationship didn't last in the end
and didn't work out and everything that happened. And my
second question is would you have him as a guest
in your podcast like for an episode? Thank you and
(01:32):
sending you lots of love to you and your siblings
and always remembering your mom.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Oh, Patty, you put me in a hot seat. I
love it. You guys, this is what dear Cheekies is
all about. You can ask me anything, and most likely
ninety eight percent of the time I will answer it.
I think it's rare when I'll say I don't want
to talk about it, but I think these questions are good,
so I'm gonna go ahead and answer them. Fernie, I
think was a great partner for my mom in the
(02:02):
sense of he brought the best out in her in
her music. A lot of people don't know this, but
Fernie brought out I guess the hood for the lack
of a better word, and got her in touch with
that girl from Long Beach. And he also loves music,
so he helped her a lot in the studio and
(02:23):
with ideas as far as like marketing and pictures. So
he was very involved. And I think when he came
into my mom's life, her career went to another level
because she was, I think, finally feeling good in her
own skin, and he brought that out in her. He
would call her gorgeous, He loved everything about her, and
I think it just gave her this new sense of confidence.
(02:46):
So Fernie, definitely, in that aspect, was great and he
was great with my siblings and I. He would always
defend us if my mom would yell or if she
got a little crazy, like we knew if Fernie's there
were good, Fernie's gonna prete us, and she would listen
to him, even if he was ten years younger. She
would listen and respect his opinion. But you know what,
(03:08):
I just realized that some of you might not know
who Fernie is, So let me quickly tell you.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Fernie, in my mother's words, was her soulmate, the love
of her life, the man that made her a woman.
And I won't get into details, but I mean fit
whatever she said it, I'm not lying. But she said
he was the first guy to give her an orgasm.
And she already had her five children, so she just
(03:38):
became this other woman when he came into her life.
And like I said earlier, he was ten years younger,
so I think he made her feel young, he made
her feel cool, like he was just very like from
El Barrio sort of thing. I don't know how to
explain it because I don't want to say getto because
it was It's not that it was just he was
(03:59):
very from just embraced his culture, and I think really
really allowed my mom to embrace hers. So with that
being said, I think he was awesome in that aspect.
He brought out the best in her as an artist
and as a woman and even as a mother. And
I thought everything was great up until they had a
(04:20):
really bad breakup and he was so sad about it
that he started doing drugs, and then after that it
just was never the same. So as much as I
loved him, and I still love him very much, I'm
so grateful with him because he was again so good
to us. I was very adamant about my mom not
(04:40):
being with him. So when a stem On, her husband,
came into the picture, I thought, oh my goodness, this
is the guy that's going to take care of her.
I don't have to worry, because with Fernie I did
worry because they would get rowdy, and you know, it
was just like more of a fun relationship, and with
the Seven it just felt more stable. So as much
as I loved Fernie, I did not want them together
(05:01):
because of his drug issue, and it was very hard
for my mom to let go. So he was in
and out a lot, and there were times I will
admit that he would call and I would not tell
my mom, and I'm not proud of that, but I
just really wanted to protect my family. He even called
(05:22):
one time and he said, hey, can I talk to her.
Mom was like no, It's like, please just leave us alone.
She is happy, she's at peace. Please forer me like,
if you love her, if you love us, leave her alone.
I never told my mom that. Later on, she found
out because I told one of my siblings. They told
her anyway, and she was very sad because he hadn't
called in a long time. And it was because I
(05:44):
asked him, like, dude, you need to stop. And it
was just something that I regret in a way, but
I also wanted my mom to just be happy. So anyway,
I'm getting into this. This is a whole other episode, guys.
But Patty, to answer your question, it was like a
yes and a no at the same time. But much
you know Johnny, my brother, the little one, is very
close to him right now. And yes, I actually thought
(06:05):
about having him on the podcast. I think it would
be really good. We have something in mind as a
family planned that I want him to be a part of,
So be excited for that. But he's definitely someone that
we all love and appreciate very very much to this day.
So yeah, thank you for your question. I'm sorry that
was a very long explanation, but I needed you guys
to understand the details. You know, I'm very thorough. Let's
(06:34):
move on to Joey.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Hellu, Tikis. I just wanted to tell you I love you,
your siblings and your mama and all the content that
you've done. You really are an inspiration. Just two questions.
The first thing, since you did a country song a
couple of years ago, who's your favorite country star and why?
And second question, what do you do if you and
(06:58):
your partner's future long term goals don't align with each other.
I've been doing my girlfriend for five months and she
told me recently she wanted to have children, but I,
on the other hand, do not, and I don't see
myself as a dad in the future anymore, and I'm
worried I'm going to end up resenting her if I
(07:21):
compromise my goals and dreams for the future. If you
have anything that will help, please tell me. I'm just
don't want to end this on a bad note with
her if that were to come to happen. I love
you so much, Cheeky Spye.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh Joey, I love you too. Thank you so much
for listening, thank you for all those beautiful words you
told me. And I'll start with the easier question, my
favorite country artist. I will admit I haven't listened to
country music as often as I used to, but one
that came to mind as soon as I heard your
question was Gretchen Wilson. Gretchen Wilson because she reminds me
(08:02):
a lot of my mom, and we listened to her
music a lot, and I think she's a total badass.
So if you haven't heard Gretchen Wilson, go check her out.
She's so awesome. A little side note, my mother actually
has a song called Damdivina and it was inspired by
one of Gretchen Wilson's songs. Just you know, a little something,
a little exclusive here on Deer Cheekies. Okay, So now
(08:25):
your second question a little bit difficult, just because well,
you know, I'm gonna be honest. I think it's okay
if you both have different career choices and aspirations, but
when it comes to children, I think that's where the
disconnect is going. To happen, and you both have to
(08:47):
be on the same page with that, mind you. When
I first met my husband, I did not want kids.
I did not want to get married, and with time
that changed. But he was a okay with it. I
was very upfront from the beginning, like, hey, this is
where I stand. Are you cool with it? If not,
like I keem with it, you know, like we can't continue.
(09:09):
He was okay with it. I don't know if in
the back of his mind he's like, I'm going to
change her mind. He changed my mind. He made me
feel safe. I don't know if that is your case.
I don't know how long you've been with her, but
if she really wants children, also, you can't be selfish
and keep her around and then she'll resent you because
(09:30):
she really wants that. And if you guys aren't meeting
eye to eye in that particular area, then I don't
see how it's going to work. So I think you
need to make a very serious decision, especially if you
are gun ho about your career and this is what
you want to do. These are your goals and you're
more of like one hundred percent. I don't want any children,
(09:50):
but if there's a possibility, then maybe. But if you
really feel and it sounds like you don't want any children,
I think you need to be honest with her, and
I think you need to let her go because that's
not fair. I don't know if that is what you
were expecting, but you know, if you come on to
your cheeky's, I'm gonna be real and I'm gonna give
you the advice that I would give one of my
siblings or someone that I really love. And I love
you and I want the best for you. So that
(10:12):
is my honest advice. I hope it helps.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Last question comes from GINAI oh.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Gena, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So Gina's asking why doesn't Johnny, my little brother, who
is now twenty four, why doesn't he live with me anymore?
So I'm gonna answer in Spanish and then I'll get
back to you guys in English. Gina, Johnny gieno porque
semso lejosmos? I don't know this? Andilia lista pero el
(11:02):
tomola quiero aprendero so yeah, MUCII pero aura loveo movien
comino grande and responsably moi moisl casa c canthiavar Milo
(11:35):
Esposo Poo, Esposo Jo and Estra La from Matrimonios Idiot
Control Progress. So anyway, I was telling Gina guys that
Johnny decided to move out. It was his decision. He's
now twenty four, and I had been thinking about it
(11:56):
for a year. I just didn't know how to bring
it up, and I wasn't necessarily a hundred percent ready.
So I prayed a lot, and then all of a sudden,
he was ready to leave, and he just said he
wanted to spread his wings and be more responsible and mature,
and I think he also felt safe. This is what
he told my husband. He felt safe leaving because he
felt I was in good hands and he wanted to
give us our space. He never told me that, but
(12:19):
I think that's very mature of him, actually, And as
much as it hurt that he left, I now realized
that it was the best decision for him. I see
him thriving. I see him a lot more responsible and
especially with his finances, or he's trying. It's tough. Adulting
is tough, but it also has helped my relationship with
my husband and my marriage. So he's not too far
(12:42):
fifteen minutes away, so it's not bad, so that's what
I was telling Gina. Anyway, you guys, that wraps up
this episode, and I just want to say thank you guys.
That was a great batchup questions. Thank you Patty, Joey
and Gina for calling in and leaving me your voice smells.
I appreciate you all more than you know, and I
hope I was able to answer your questions. Thank you, guys,
and I'll catch you on the next episode of Dear Cheeky's.
(13:07):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h I q U I s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voice mailbox for the Dear Cheeks podcast. I'm
here to give you a device on anything and everything
you need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup
or having issues with your family, or maybe you have
a question about my personal life. Whatever the case is,
I want to hear from you. Remember these are my
(00:39):
thoughts in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a
serious issue or hardship, you should seek help from a
qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and leave your
message at the sound of.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The beeB, Hi, Cheeky's. I have two questions for you.
The first one is from your experience, how was Fernie
as a boyfriend to your mom Jenny Like? Did you
like him for her as like a partner? Were you
(01:11):
sad disappointed that their relationship didn't last in the end
and didn't work out and everything that happened. And my
second question is would you have him as a guest
in your podcast like for an episode? Thank you and
(01:32):
sending you lots of love to you and your siblings
and always remembering your mom.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Oh, Patty, you put me in a hot seat. I
love it. You guys, this is what dear Cheekies is
all about. You can ask me anything, and most likely
ninety eight percent of the time I will answer it.
I think it's rare when I'll say I don't want
to talk about it, but I think these questions are good,
so I'm gonna go ahead and answer them. Fernie, I
think was a great partner for my mom in the
(02:02):
sense of he brought the best out in her in
her music. A lot of people don't know this, but
Fernie brought out I guess the hood for the lack
of a better word, and got her in touch with
that girl from Long Beach. And he also loves music,
so he helped her a lot in the studio and
(02:23):
with ideas as far as like marketing and pictures. So
he was very involved. And I think when he came
into my mom's life, her career went to another level
because she was, I think, finally feeling good in her
own skin, and he brought that out in her. He
would call her gorgeous, He loved everything about her, and
I think it just gave her this new sense of confidence.
(02:46):
So Fernie, definitely, in that aspect, was great and he
was great with my siblings and I. He would always
defend us if my mom would yell or if she
got a little crazy, like we knew if Fernie's there
were good, Fernie's gonna prete us, and she would listen
to him, even if he was ten years younger. She
would listen and respect his opinion. But you know what,
(03:08):
I just realized that some of you might not know
who Fernie is, So let me quickly tell you.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Fernie, in my mother's words, was her soulmate, the love
of her life, the man that made her a woman.
And I won't get into details, but I mean fit
whatever she said it, I'm not lying. But she said
he was the first guy to give her an orgasm.
And she already had her five children, so she just
(03:38):
became this other woman when he came into her life.
And like I said earlier, he was ten years younger,
so I think he made her feel young, he made
her feel cool, like he was just very like from
El Barrio sort of thing. I don't know how to
explain it because I don't want to say getto because
it was It's not that it was just he was
(03:59):
very from just embraced his culture, and I think really
really allowed my mom to embrace hers. So with that
being said, I think he was awesome in that aspect.
He brought out the best in her as an artist
and as a woman and even as a mother. And
I thought everything was great up until they had a
(04:20):
really bad breakup and he was so sad about it
that he started doing drugs, and then after that it
just was never the same. So as much as I
loved him, and I still love him very much, I'm
so grateful with him because he was again so good
to us. I was very adamant about my mom not
(04:40):
being with him. So when a stem On, her husband,
came into the picture, I thought, oh my goodness, this
is the guy that's going to take care of her.
I don't have to worry, because with Fernie I did
worry because they would get rowdy, and you know, it
was just like more of a fun relationship, and with
the Seven it just felt more stable. So as much
as I loved Fernie, I did not want them together
(05:01):
because of his drug issue, and it was very hard
for my mom to let go. So he was in
and out a lot, and there were times I will
admit that he would call and I would not tell
my mom, and I'm not proud of that, but I
just really wanted to protect my family. He even called
(05:22):
one time and he said, hey, can I talk to her.
Mom was like no, It's like, please just leave us alone.
She is happy, she's at peace. Please forer me like,
if you love her, if you love us, leave her alone.
I never told my mom that. Later on, she found
out because I told one of my siblings. They told
her anyway, and she was very sad because he hadn't
called in a long time. And it was because I
(05:44):
asked him, like, dude, you need to stop. And it
was just something that I regret in a way, but
I also wanted my mom to just be happy. So anyway,
I'm getting into this. This is a whole other episode, guys.
But Patty, to answer your question, it was like a
yes and a no at the same time. But much
you know Johnny, my brother, the little one, is very
close to him right now. And yes, I actually thought
(06:05):
about having him on the podcast. I think it would
be really good. We have something in mind as a
family planned that I want him to be a part of,
So be excited for that. But he's definitely someone that
we all love and appreciate very very much to this day.
So yeah, thank you for your question. I'm sorry that
was a very long explanation, but I needed you guys
to understand the details. You know, I'm very thorough. Let's
(06:34):
move on to Joey.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Hellu, Tikis. I just wanted to tell you I love you,
your siblings and your mama and all the content that
you've done. You really are an inspiration. Just two questions.
The first thing, since you did a country song a
couple of years ago, who's your favorite country star and why?
And second question, what do you do if you and
(06:58):
your partner's future long term goals don't align with each other.
I've been doing my girlfriend for five months and she
told me recently she wanted to have children, but I,
on the other hand, do not, and I don't see
myself as a dad in the future anymore, and I'm
worried I'm going to end up resenting her if I
(07:21):
compromise my goals and dreams for the future. If you
have anything that will help, please tell me. I'm just
don't want to end this on a bad note with
her if that were to come to happen. I love
you so much, Cheeky Spye.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Oh Joey, I love you too. Thank you so much
for listening, thank you for all those beautiful words you
told me. And I'll start with the easier question, my
favorite country artist. I will admit I haven't listened to
country music as often as I used to, but one
that came to mind as soon as I heard your
question was Gretchen Wilson. Gretchen Wilson because she reminds me
(08:02):
a lot of my mom, and we listened to her
music a lot, and I think she's a total badass.
So if you haven't heard Gretchen Wilson, go check her out.
She's so awesome. A little side note, my mother actually
has a song called Damdivina and it was inspired by
one of Gretchen Wilson's songs. Just you know, a little something,
a little exclusive here on Deer Cheekies. Okay, So now
(08:25):
your second question a little bit difficult, just because well,
you know, I'm gonna be honest. I think it's okay
if you both have different career choices and aspirations, but
when it comes to children, I think that's where the
disconnect is going. To happen, and you both have to
(08:47):
be on the same page with that, mind you. When
I first met my husband, I did not want kids.
I did not want to get married, and with time
that changed. But he was a okay with it. I
was very upfront from the beginning, like, hey, this is
where I stand. Are you cool with it? If not,
like I keem with it, you know, like we can't continue.
(09:09):
He was okay with it. I don't know if in
the back of his mind he's like, I'm going to
change her mind. He changed my mind. He made me
feel safe. I don't know if that is your case.
I don't know how long you've been with her, but
if she really wants children, also, you can't be selfish
and keep her around and then she'll resent you because
(09:30):
she really wants that. And if you guys aren't meeting
eye to eye in that particular area, then I don't
see how it's going to work. So I think you
need to make a very serious decision, especially if you
are gun ho about your career and this is what
you want to do. These are your goals and you're
more of like one hundred percent. I don't want any children,
(09:50):
but if there's a possibility, then maybe. But if you
really feel and it sounds like you don't want any children,
I think you need to be honest with her, and
I think you need to let her go because that's
not fair. I don't know if that is what you
were expecting, but you know, if you come on to
your cheeky's, I'm gonna be real and I'm gonna give
you the advice that I would give one of my
siblings or someone that I really love. And I love
you and I want the best for you. So that
(10:12):
is my honest advice. I hope it helps.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Last question comes from GINAI oh.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Gena, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
So Gina's asking why doesn't Johnny, my little brother, who
is now twenty four, why doesn't he live with me anymore?
So I'm gonna answer in Spanish and then I'll get
back to you guys in English. Gina, Johnny gieno porque
semso lejosmos? I don't know this? Andilia lista pero el
(11:02):
tomola quiero aprendero so yeah, MUCII pero aura loveo movien
comino grande and responsably moi moisl casa c canthiavar Milo
(11:35):
Esposo Poo, Esposo Jo and Estra La from Matrimonios Idiot
Control Progress. So anyway, I was telling Gina guys that
Johnny decided to move out. It was his decision. He's
now twenty four, and I had been thinking about it
(11:56):
for a year. I just didn't know how to bring
it up, and I wasn't necessarily a hundred percent ready.
So I prayed a lot, and then all of a sudden,
he was ready to leave, and he just said he
wanted to spread his wings and be more responsible and mature,
and I think he also felt safe. This is what
he told my husband. He felt safe leaving because he
felt I was in good hands and he wanted to
give us our space. He never told me that, but
(12:19):
I think that's very mature of him, actually, And as
much as it hurt that he left, I now realized
that it was the best decision for him. I see
him thriving. I see him a lot more responsible and
especially with his finances, or he's trying. It's tough. Adulting
is tough, but it also has helped my relationship with
my husband and my marriage. So he's not too far
(12:42):
fifteen minutes away, so it's not bad, so that's what
I was telling Gina. Anyway, you guys, that wraps up
this episode, and I just want to say thank you guys.
That was a great batchup questions. Thank you Patty, Joey
and Gina for calling in and leaving me your voice smells.
I appreciate you all more than you know, and I
hope I was able to answer your questions. Thank you, guys,
and I'll catch you on the next episode of Dear Cheeky's.
(13:07):
This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
me Cheeky's That's c h I q U I s.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast
Host
Chiquis
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