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July 9, 2025 14 mins

Hello and welcome to a new episode of Dear Chiquis. This week, an anonymous listener gives me an update on her husband who’d been battling a gambling addiction; Arie makes me reminisce about our old family house in Encino and asks me how I felt when I first moved into it; and Jime wants to know how she can be kinder to herself.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
to give you a device on anything and everything you
need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

(00:39):
in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
the sound of the beeB.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hi, Cheeky's, how are you. I hope everything's going great
with you. I actually have an update. Last time that
I reached out, I mentioned that my husband had a
gambling addiction, and I wanted to let you know that
since then, he has enrolled himself into an addictions therapist
and it is the best thing that could have ever

(01:12):
happened to him and to our family because he is
getting the help that he needs. And I'm so proud
of him for first of all taking the initiative and
secondly for getting better. We are so much happier. His
gambling has almost basically practically stopped, and it's all things

(01:33):
to your advice. It gave me the courage to stand
up to him and basically give him some tough love
and be like, listen, if you don't fix this for
yourself and for us, we and the kids may not
stick around. So I wanted to thank you for your
advice and for such an amazing platform that you have.

(01:53):
You're basically the older sister that some of us never had,
So thank you so much for that. And I hope
you have the best of summers, happy and good vibes
for you from me.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Thank you so much. Oh my anonymous listener, I love updates.
Thank you so much for updating us. That makes me
so freaking happy that my advice helped. I don't know
it all. I can be wrong, I can make mistakes,
but I promise you that everything that I tell you, guys,

(02:28):
I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I
have the best interest at heart for you and I
want you guys to do well. So it makes me
happy that my advice helps. And I'm so proud of
your husband. You know what that means. That means that
he loves you. That means that he loves you, he
loves his children, he loves himself because he knows that

(02:48):
probably without you and his kids give what's there's gonna
be no purpose, you know. So I'm glad that he
took the initiative and that he's sticking to it, and
I pray that he sticks to it. It's gonna take time,
but with love and support, especially from you, it's going
to help him. And I am very proud of you, guys,

(03:08):
So thank you for updating us, and yeah, I'm wishing
you the best. I can't wait to hear from you
again and enjoy your beautiful summer. Okay, enjoy, have fun
and that money that you guys are saving now because
he's not gambling. Girl, I hope you guys can go
on a vacation. Love that for you. Thank you, and
hopefully next time I can you know, hear your name

(03:28):
if you want, depending on the question, I understand. Moving
on to our next listener, and her name is Ari.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Hi teekys, So I just want to say, please do
not think I'm weird, Please don't. But I looked up
your guys' and see no house because you know, I
grew up watching the show and I'm like, I just
wonder what it looks like in there. So I'm looking
through the things. I look at your mom's beautiful everything,

(04:01):
and then I see master bedroom number two. I'm like,
what the fuck? Master reget number two. I click it.
I immediately knowed you because you got like all these like
posters on the wall, like smiley faces and be peace.
And then I saw your altar. Girl, you had a
whole ass sectional couch in your bedroom, Like, oh my god,

(04:25):
you were so spoiled, not in a bad way. I
don't think being spoilt is a bad thing. I think
it's you know, you're we were well loved. You had
a sectional couch in your bedroom in a two story closet, Like,
can you walk us through like how you felt what
you were thinking when your mom walked you into that

(04:45):
big ass house and showed you your room? Like and
then also, can you tell me like some of your
favorite memories you have in that room? Like you could
tell like it's your room just just by looking at it.
It's so funny. But yeah, I was just curious. Thank
you so much.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
Bye. I love this question. Oh my gosh, are your
energy is so awesome. You made me laugh. Yes, I
actually like have tears in my eyes because I'm remembering that.
And yes, my mother was an amazing provider. I know
that I could have asked my mom for anything and

(05:24):
she would have given it to me. And she gave
me so much. She gave us all so much. And
I think it was because she worked so hard and
was gone so much, because she was the motor of
the family that she wanted to just she overcompensated sometimes,
you know, And I, for one, I've said it many times.
I took advantage of it. And I was young and
I was dumb, and it was part of what I

(05:46):
had to learn. But I remember when my mom bought
that house. She had bought it six months prior to
us seeing it, and she didn't want us to walk
into it until she made all you know, she renovated it,
and she made all the changes, and she chose each
of our rooms herself. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna cry.

(06:08):
She chose each of the rooms herself, and she chose
my room. And she knew that her daughter loves clothes
and loves things, and she made me that closet in
the addict And I was blown away because I'm like, Wow,
Sometimes I thought, does my mom even really know who
I am? Because I mean we spent time together and

(06:29):
we talked a lot, but it was a lot about
work and the kids in the house. But I guess
she did, because, yeah, she wanted me to have the
second master bedroom. She always said that she was a
husband and I was a wife and I stayed home
with the kids, so she wanted me to have the best.
And when I walked into that room and I saw
what she had made, it was two rooms. She made

(06:50):
two rooms to make my room. You guys, oh my
mother and I walked in and I was like whoa,
Like it was just I was so taken aback and
overwhelmed with joy of like, my mom knows me, and
she wants the best for us, and she works so hard,
and I don't know. She did spoil me. And she

(07:13):
always said, you like good things, so you better get
yourself a good job because your ass needs to work.
And I'm glad she taught me. But I think my
best memory was I mean, we had so many beautiful
memories there, but I can't say that anything else beats
the first time we all walked into that house and

(07:33):
to see the joy on her face to see our
joy because she had been working on that house for
six months. And she's like, I can't wait for you
guys to see it. I'm so excited. She chose everything.
Usually I would always help her with everything, but and
I helped her to decorate it, but she chose the paint,
she chose each room. She like personalized each of our
bedrooms to our liking, our favorite colors and everything. It

(07:57):
was just so special. I'll never ever forget. And she's like,
I need you to come see the house. And she
looked like a little girl, and she's like, this is
why I work so hard. I'm like, oh, and it
hurts me every time we think that, Like we sold
that house, but I couldn't afford it for sure, not then,
and it breaks my heart. I wish I could buy
it now. It's like freaking seven million dollars or something.

(08:18):
But maybe one day, guys, maybe one day. Only god knows.
But thank you Ari. You took me like down a
beautiful like just a beautiful memory and a beautiful time
in my life. So thank you so much. And yeah,
oh you made me laugh. I'm sending you a big hug.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Thank you. Thank you. Okay, guys, we have one last
question and it comes from hem Hi tikies. I just
wanted to ask, how can I improve myself love? How
can I be kinder to myself? Nie? Oh hi, okay,

(08:57):
that was quick. I love that. How can you be
kinder to yourself? Oh? I get it, I get it.
I understand. There are times that I still struggle with this,
you guys, And I will be honest. I'm all about
self love and self care and affirmations and everything that
I teach you guys, but I also struggle. And I've
had a very tough month. So many things have been

(09:17):
going on, and I don't think Emdia has ever seen
this side of me, but he just asked me the
other day. But he's like, Babe, I don't know what's
going on, but you know you're beautiful, Like you know
you've been kind of talking down on yourself. He's like,
I've never known you to do that, and I hadn't,
like for a long time. I was just in a
very good place and then just life happens, you know,

(09:38):
So I get it. We all go through those moments
where it's hard to look in the mirror and you
don't want to say the affirmation. Sometimes it's even hard
to pray, Like sometimes I just tell God, God, I
don't know what to say today, help me, help me.
I don't really feel like talking to you right now,
but I love you and I'm grateful, and just help
me because I don't know what's going on. Sometimes that's
my prayer you, guys, because I go through it too.

(10:01):
And for me, I'll tell you what I've been doing
during this hard time. I have done my best to
look in the mirror, even if I don't feel beautiful,
because my skin's been going through something like I don't
know if it's just my hormones, but my rosation has
been flaring up. It's been crazy, and you know, just
stuff and hormones and all that kind of stuff, all

(10:21):
the stuff that even men go through. Guys. I have
just been telling myself, I'm like, Okay, what can I
do myself? What can I do today that's gonna make
me smile, that's gonna make me happy, even if it's
as simple as I'm gonna go get myself an iced coffee,
something that I try not to get so much or
to buy. I try to make them at the house.
But I'm like, Okay, today I want a nice coffee.

(10:41):
You know, that's part of showing self love and also
working out moving my body. Is like today I don't
want to get on the treadmill, and I don't want
to sweat too much. I'm just gonna go take a
damn walk. I'm just gonna go take a walk because
I still want to move my body. I still want
to sweat. I still want to love myself enough, you know,
to just do something and move my body. Sometimes I
won't work out and I'll just stretch. I'm like, okay,
I'm just gonna stretch. I'm just gonna breathe my way

(11:03):
through this. I'm gonna, you know, tell myself I love myself.
The other day, you know what I did. I hugged myself.
I literally just went into the restroom and I gave
myself a big hug and I kissed myself on my shoulders.
I'm like, it's gonna be okay, toy. And I cried
in my own arms. And I have a husband and
I have people that I can go hug. But I said,

(11:23):
I need to come back to myself and light a
candle for myself, A pink one because pink and red
represents love. So find yourself a candle and pray with
all your heart. Hold the candle in your arms while
you're hugging yourself, and be like, Okay, I love myself.
I have so many things to be grateful for. Life
is good, smiling is free, and when I smile, someone

(11:44):
else smiles, so it's contagious. And I just I would
tell myself so many things, and then I just lit
the candle. And every time I saw the candle because
I left it lit, of course, be safe. Put in
somewhere safe, in a bowl of water as well, and
it reminds you, Okay, I love myself. It's gonna be okay.
It's kind of it's a light in the midst of darkness.
That's what a candle is. Write yourself a letter, give

(12:04):
yourself some flowers. Those are things in ways that you
could practice self love. And it's gonna take time. It's
not something that's gonna happen from one day to another.
So just be patient, be compassionate, like, hold some space
for yourself. We are people. I know, for one, as
being an older sister, I always like to take care
of everyone else and make sure they're okay, but what

(12:26):
about me? Now? It came to a point where my
siblings are grown. They're all doing their own thing. My
husband's my husband, and I love him and he's great.
But now I'm like, oh, how I'm at home sometimes
and there's so much silence and I'm being forced to
look at myself and really take care of things that
I need to deal with within myself. And that's partially
like self love. So I get it and I understand

(12:47):
and just know that it's going to be okay and
this too, shall pass. I tell myself that all the time.
I should probably get it tighted on me to be honest,
but I feel you. I understand, and I'm with you.
You didn't say much, but if you're asking me that
question is probably because you're going through something. So I'm
sending you a big hug filled with lots of light.

(13:09):
And I go through it too, and I'm holding your
hand through this because life is beautiful but sometimes it
could be hard. But life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Tell yourself that too, Okay. I hope that helped, And
thank you guys for your questions. And I laughed. I
I love hearing from you guys. You guys are amazing,

(13:29):
And if you have not yet left a voice note
asking a question, that's fine. You can leave a comment,
you can ask for a friend, or if you can
just listen in, but share, share this episode, share Dear
Cheeky's because I think with listening to other people and
their questions, we can all learn a thing or two.
And if you do want to leave a voice note,

(13:50):
go ahead and leave it at speakpipe dot com, slash
Cheeky's and chill podcast mousquiero mucho and I will catch
you here on the next episode of Dear Cheeky. This
is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network.
Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow

(14:11):
me Cheeky's That's c h I q U i s.
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Chiquis

Chiquis

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